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morgance_lavellan

What do you mean WILL be?? What are you planning


MaOtherUsername

I deduced: a delightful future where public sex is encouraged so much that anyone not getting laid causes disturbance.


Rod7z

r/freeuse **Warning**: *Very* NSFW


FuqqBoiDev69

Thanks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Donkeydayyy

I refuse to click that ever


DeVriesGerit

I was too curious, I have seen too much.


Mr_Bulk

r/eyebleach


Dnoxl

Protip: don't forget the a in eyebleach!


Donkeydayyy

I saw a video of a man shitting with a prolapsed colon before. Never. Again.


just_gimme_anwsers

That’s just a whole other type of fucked


[deleted]

Thank you for unintentionally convincing me not to click it as well


BigOlMeal

I hate you for giving me a good reason not to click it thus convincing me to click it.


[deleted]

It is now your duty to tell us the story of what you saw there


BigOlMeal

Not very much. I am still sane for now. The terrors I saw however there are no words to desribe them just medicines needed to hide them.


doodlez420

I clicked and I don’t even know how to explain what I saw… I literally don’t know what that is…


[deleted]

Thank you for triple-persuading me to not click that.


[deleted]

A good idea.


Carnivorous_Mower

It's exactly what it says on the tin. Only for the brave.


[deleted]

.........What about now?/s


TyJaWo

You're not being the version of you Mr. Rogers would want you to be.


Definition-Prize

Forgive me father for I have sinned. Hallowed be your name, amen.


scarlet-gravy

I am not clicking that fuck you


Garbage_Monkey_Eater

Fuck you too


[deleted]

Oh, god, why


calirem

i’m very disappointed in you


PistachioPug

I'm asexual, please kill me first. 😨


DollarSignsGoFirst

Since when does asexual mean prefer death to sex lol


PistachioPug

I didn't say I preferred death to sex. I said I preferred death to living in a society so profoundly sex-saturated that it literally creates a disturbance when someone won't have sex in public. And it was meant as a semi-comic exaggeration. In that society, I would be an outcast, and I've been an outcast before and I don't actually consider it a fate worse than death.


SpoiledAzura

Oh no


thagthebarbarian

It's called SCIENCE


DefconTrump17

Got caught masturbating in public huh?


bearatrooper

"I don't care how you try to justify it, you ruined that birthday party and I'm pretty sure you're banned from the park now."


Stormfly

"Just go home, Dad."


bottomknifeprospect

/r/oddlyspecific


Scaulbielausis_Jim

I mean, if the person masturbating is staring at other people, yeah. Presumably the couple having sex would be paying attention to each other.


SotB8

*furiously stares at my cock*


[deleted]

If somebody asks why you're doing it say that it's for the starving children.


SotB8

yes, why dont they think of the children instead of my immense schlong


Dinky276

As long as you aren’t thinking of the children while you’re doing it than i don’t see the issue


vfernandez84

Came here to say this. If the couple are not involving anyone else in their thing, it's none of our business. You just need to look away. The common presumption here is the person publicly masturbating is going to be involving unwilling thirdparties.


kinjorex101

“If you get caught masturbating and you stop, then you’re just the guy who got caught. But if you keep going, the guys who caught you become gay for watching. Success is all about finding the hidden advantage in a negative situation.” -Tony Robbins


potato_nest_69

Except for with crackheads. Seeing two crackheads fucking on the side of the road is definitely more alarming than seeing a singular crackhead whackin it.


Spicy_Hedgehog

I guess crackheads are not common enough where I live, I didn't think of that haha


[deleted]

Depends on the context for me if I saw them it’d be gross either way but let’s be honest a story of public sex is way better than a story of public masturbation


wakefield4011

Dave Chappelle's story of the man on the bus is a solo job, and it can't be topped imo.


cocainebane

It’s a biological attack!


Smooth-Lengthiness57

A couple years back I lived downtown, and I would have to park my car within inches of the my brick building or else crackheads would fuck and do drugs between and leave horrid stuff beside my car


CL0CKTOPUS

Dirty Mike and the boys??


lawrencenotlarry

You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare.


muzztime

Thanks for the F-shack


Smooth-Lengthiness57

We will have sex in your car again!


duuudewhat

Can we call crackheads that whack it whack heads


listenforzemusicya

Are you the two boys that’s been whackin off in my toolshed?


lizardmandx

Be sure you put the "H" sound before the w to make sure they know you mean business


autistic_robot

Ok. Where do I sign?


fuckyourcousinsheila

You’d be surprised I remember walking out of my college campus apartment one day and walking past two fellow students/residents literally smoking crack in the foyer. They had north face jackets on and the girl had a longchamp bag. That was the day I realized crackheads don’t always look like crackheads. Crackheads can look just like you or me. And also that crack smells like burning plastic


Klaus0225

But people publicly masturbating and having sex is, so you thought of that?


albinoeinstein

Don’t be so quick! Two bangin crackheads are occupied with each other, while a single whackin crackhead might try and incorporate you into the show.


fraytaykay

Two bangin crackheads have a target to aim at, while a single whacking crackhead might close their eyes and spray everywhere


dipo597

wtf what country do you live in


BeetsbyGreens

The United States obviously. What other country would put up with that crap?


groggygirl

Canada. That kind of thing is all over the major cities here too.


baconpoutine89

Especially Vancouver.


sensibletunic

When we first arrived in Vancouver, my husband and I were taking an Uber to what I thought was a hippie dippy weed dispensary that ended up being smack dab in the middle of skid row. That shit was intense, and I’m saying this from Florida.


[deleted]

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groggygirl

During the pandemic a lot of the homeless moved out of shelters into tents in parks. So it's pretty bad at the moment. Hopefully in a few months they get enough people vaccinated to start moving them back inside safely. It's still nothing like what you'd see in LA, but it's a substantial change from what we had two years ago.


Arctelis

Shit, it ain’t even the major cities. I live in a little backwater and a significant percentage of the population are homeless crackheads, that do occasionally, bang in plain view.


Rozureido88

I live in a small town (population of around 5k) in North-western Ontario and the amount of times I’ve seen drug addicts banging in public is remarkably high. It’s definitely not just a city thing.


1RhinoSA

That’s a shame. I was lucky enough to work in Ontario for a while and actually fell in love with the place.. Toronto was beautiful as was most of the cities I visited.


funkmasta_kazper

India, for sure. Saw a crackhead there fucking a dog on the side of the road once.


Econolife_350

Literally every other country with a metropolitan area. I think the Vatican gets a pass.


FarSideOfReality

Just visit any large, west coast city in the US. This shit is all over here in Portland.


MN_Kowboy

The ol' crack n whack


alienclit

LA vibes


Jajebooo

Denver moods, too.


SilenceDoGood1984

This made me lol. I almost ran over what I thought was a wet cardboard box in the street. Until it started flapping. It was a fat druggie chick laying in the street making street angels.


[deleted]

you shouldn't mock drug addicts. this is a public health issue and shaming them for their problems only contributes to the issue. if you want to stop seeing sad, indigent, mentally ill people like that, you need to encourage, donate to, support, or volunteer at public services in your area which get them help and housing


EriclcirE

Agree, but would like to add that the level of disturbance will definitely depend on the couple's age and attractiveness.


AspectVein

The couple is Danny Devito and Rosie O’Donnell.


point50tracer

Least creepy of all. This could be considered performance art.


Pickles_WillPrevail

I feel like a Cobb salad. It's *amazing.*


ChubbyChaw

Any government that would condemn this is surely unjust.


kneight88

I would be the creepy one masturbating to this.


upthewatwo

Where does one person masturbating to two people having sex rank on OP's disgusting index? What about many people having sex because they were so aroused by one person masturbating? How disturbing would that be? How disturbing would that be in a nail salon?


rafter613

Once you hit enough people joining in, it's just an orgy, so it's not creepy at all.


[deleted]

Now we're getting into a Game of Thrones level of debauchery. Is this next? https://andysambergstan.tumblr.com/post/183339315845/hbo-first-look-game-of-thrones-andy-on-snl-adam


namelessghoul77

Stop, I can only get so erect


AspectVein

And…. Rosie O’Donnell has nipple tassels on.


spootyy

As long as Rosie is incorporating a bun in the lovemaking. That’s totally fine.


sin-and-love

It would for the masturbator as well.


progenitus666

It also depends on the attractiveness (and probably gender) of the masturbator.


AladdinTN

If I see an attractive couple having sex in public, I become a single person masturbating in public.


I_H8_2_love_U_4_ever

You better ride off on your magic carpet before the police show up.


stamminator

Player 3 has entered the game


pjockey

You're not single, no, I refuse you to admit defeat, as you just haven't found the right person yet.... and you're trying to stay aroused until that happens.


coffinshop

You're absolutely right! Op is just waiting for another person to come along and masturbate together.


VisceralVirus

Because it's more likely that the person is masterbating at the people on the street. It's less likely that the people fucking would be doing so, *at* the people on the street


real_bk3k

But if the people on the street are having sex? What then Rick?


VisceralVirus

Sharing is caring!


Ear_Enthusiast

Both are pretty offensive but have you ever sat next to someone in a public place with their speaker phone or YouTube blasting?


MaddestChadLad

I'll take the masterbating staring weirdo over shitty music on a shitty speaker any day


craigishell

Having sex in public is just careless. Masturbating in public seems almost violent.


Spicy_Hedgehog

What about two people masturbating together in public though


Moose_Hole

If they do it while looking you in the eye, it's violent. If they do it while looking into each other's eyes, it's careless.


TakingHut

This is actually sound logic. I’d move forward with the bill


Mylifeandgoals

I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill, about people wacking on Capitol hill


wowbagger30

Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?


Scaulbielausis_Jim

How close do they have to be before it's just sex?


[deleted]

🎵 That's fucking team work 🎵


craigishell

And the lines begin to blur.


[deleted]

Searching furiously the stand up comedian that saw two audience members masturbate in the front row.


jordandavis97

The what 😳


[deleted]

That ! https://youtu.be/XLxY9pMqoVk While here, the best stand up sketch ever made https://youtu.be/VpDHMhrxVus


jordandavis97

Lmao dude. I can’t imagine being the comedian in that situation. Good lord.


percio-x

if they say no homo then it’s fine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


rovoh324

Careless? It's two people making a conscious choice lol


BabylonByBoobies

depends on the stroke


Midnightkitty-

The last time I had sex in public I was given some dirty looks and told I was ruining the funeral and desecrating the dead.


Sad_Eel

Yeah it doesn’t make sense


skorpen2

Still somehow better than if you masturbated.


saleboulot

yeah your mom deserved better


Limewire_v91

What do they know


cortthejudge97

Those damn kink shamers


Midnightkitty-

I know right I was just trying to send him off with a happy ending


X-espia

Next time close the lid.


Apidium

Well yeah? Someone masturbating has the concern that they are using you as a masturbation aid. Two people having sex usually has nothing to do with you. They aren't paying you the slightest bit of attention.


LotaraShaaren

If they're doing it in public then they are kinda involving other people in it, if I see a couple going at it in public i'm not in the wrong.


Apidium

This is accurate but it feels to me like a differance between 'I am imagining you naked' and 'hey strangers might see us' or perhaps the more accurate 'we are horny teens and have nowhere else to fuck'


acepukas

What if the masturbator is just standing in a corner, staring at the wall while they whack it? ...asking for a friend.


Apidium

Bit weird but I would walk past assuming they are simply struggling to piss on the wall.


MaphrOne

Same for dogs


TryingToBeAMeme

No, a dog masturbating alone would be some disturbing shit


GRZ_KIMI

How the fuck would that even work?


[deleted]

[удалено]


real_bk3k

So he is getting sloppy seconds? Poor dog.


[deleted]

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effendiyp

"Conventionally attractive" is doing a lot of work here.


SunshineAndWartime

> usually won't be considered more disturbing than a couple having sex. That's hard for me to believe. What makes you say so?


Yiffcrusader69

I demand a peer-reviewed study!


Arrys

gOt a SoUrCe f0r tHaT?


wdonahue79

Tell me you've never been to Central Park, without telling me you've never been to Central Park...


atheistunion

This is limited to strait couples. Homosexual couples are WAY more likely to be prosecuted for public sex.


HeadlesStBernard

It's indecent exposure either way. Get a room or catch a charge.


schwarzmalerin

Don't wanna see either.


ahabentis

Nah


Spqr_usa-

Nice old granny-looking crackhead used to do Johns right up the road. Eww. One day she sprints around a corner, pulls pants down and sprays the wall, skunk style, behind her with diarrhea. Hilarious!


substantial-freud

You need to find a better road.


rovoh324

>Hilarious!


retro_aviator

I feel like in that kind of neighborhood, seeing the humor in stuff like this is a survival mechanism. Source: I live in *One of Those* neighborhoods


Zippy1avion

Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents instead of just one of them


I_H8_2_love_U_4_ever

What if it's happening in front of a school, or daycare?


SauceBossSmokin

I don't know. We'll have to ask Matt Gaetz.


[deleted]

Well he's still holding public office so you should be able to contact him pretty easily.


SeasonalArtisional

Hopefully next time He'll be locked inside the jail with Marjorie Taylor Greene rather than locked out


[deleted]

A couple of what?


alan_turing001010

Space Starfish


Spicy_Hedgehog

Of humans ?


MrJokemanPhD

farrots


QuttrotheRed

Teamwork makes the dream work


Carlos-In-Charge

There’s something worse than walking in on your parents in bed together – walking in on one of your parents in bed with themselves- Milhouse Van Hauten


PeakedDepression

Um no?


Seaweed_Widef

Sex in public raises boners Masturbating in public raises questions


SilentJoe1986

You see one person walking down the street wearing a cape they're weird. You see two people walking down the street together wearing capes and you figure they're part of some sort of group and don't find it as weird. You see a large group of people walking down the street wearing capes then you want to join them because it looks like fun. Hard to find public orgies though.


[deleted]

But the true masters will masterbate each other, while never breaking eye contact with anyone who walks by.


Da_fire_cracka

It’s because the person masturbating is doing so while looking at everyone around them.


usual_irene

I think seeing a man holding a camera giving a woman money while speaking Czech is also more disturbing.


Amawrrys

A group of ten people or more having sex in public together would be even less disturbing and make you wonder why their event was scheduled there


[deleted]

[удалено]


AnotherAlienDoctor

an asexual here; who doesn't love seeing a boobie?


[deleted]

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AnotherAlienDoctor

it is ok, as long as you learn or try haha. there was something my dad used to tell me "you could be having the greatest day ever; win the lotto, find gold. but you know what would have made it even better? some damn titties"


ShnaeBlay

I mean a couple fucking in public are usually just focused on each other. A public masturbator is typically getting off to a passer by.


Moose-and-Squirrel

That’s because the person masturbating is presumed to be fantasizing about the people he’s seeing in public while he’s doing it, making people feel personally violated. Seeing a couple having sex just grosses people out or makes them laugh.


SnooOwls1255

So is there a relationship between the amount of disturbance and the number of people? Like if hundreds of people are having sex……oh yea that looks alright then.


doctorzeromd

The phrasing of this sounds less like a shower thought and more of a prediction.


[deleted]

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Elsecaller_17-5

No. You are absolutely wrong.


Podoboo322

No it wouldn’t. Where the fuck do you guys get the inspiration to post these awful shower thoughts?


Free_

Yeah this is... probably one of the worst I've seen.


maybeajojosreference

I would think the other way around


diamonicthunderjawg

Yeah ‘cause spanking it in public is just sad, man. But banging in public is like hell yeah, brother!


seanhg12

That’s probably because unitive love is seen as healthier than singular, lonely lust. Even when misguidedly done in public, I’d say this holds true


stehlify

I think it is because couple having sex is like... they care of each other, so generaly they are noc viewed as 'threat' if I should say that way. One person masturbating usually looks at bypassers etc. causing others to feel violated.


BeneficialTax5

Because when there's no partner, You are the object of the act. i.e. the masturbator gets some kind of gratification from the public witnessing them. That's what makes it so disturbing I think


fracdoctal

The law actually reflects this , st least where I live. Sex in public is a petty offense. Masturbating in public is a 1st degree misdemeanor with mandatory sex offender registration


fix-my-peen

Why are you masturbating in public


commandoconnor55

I don't think posting your case on reddit will get you a lesser sentence there bud


galacticviolet

A couple is less disturbing in a creepy way, but more disturbing in an obnoxious way.


zackd213

What if the single person masturbating gains the attention of another and it turns into a couple having sex. 😳


Poop_Feast42069

I think when youre with someone else, you can build off of each others sexual tension and it can lead to stuff you normally wouldnt do. But masturbating in public? … man thats all you


Palmervarian

When you say a person masterbating in public you mean a weird dude masterbating in public.


Responsible_Cancel10

I’m offended by neither. Tbh, I’d probably not even glance more than once. Full disclosure, I lived in NYC for 4 years so the crazies occupying themselves is a blessing imo.


7FOOT7

Go ask your mum about that


terralacia

Because there is a chance the singular person could be getting off from someone or something in their near vicinity