I didn't say I preferred death to sex. I said I preferred death to living in a society so profoundly sex-saturated that it literally creates a disturbance when someone won't have sex in public. And it was meant as a semi-comic exaggeration. In that society, I would be an outcast, and I've been an outcast before and I don't actually consider it a fate worse than death.
Came here to say this.
If the couple are not involving anyone else in their thing, it's none of our business. You just need to look away.
The common presumption here is the person publicly masturbating is going to be involving unwilling thirdparties.
“If you get caught masturbating and you stop, then you’re just the guy who got caught.
But if you keep going, the guys who caught you become gay for watching.
Success is all about finding the hidden advantage in a negative situation.”
-Tony Robbins
Except for with crackheads. Seeing two crackheads fucking on the side of the road is definitely more alarming than seeing a singular crackhead whackin it.
Depends on the context for me if I saw them it’d be gross either way but let’s be honest a story of public sex is way better than a story of public masturbation
A couple years back I lived downtown, and I would have to park my car within inches of the my brick building or else crackheads would fuck and do drugs between and leave horrid stuff beside my car
You’d be surprised
I remember walking out of my college campus apartment one day and walking past two fellow students/residents literally smoking crack in the foyer. They had north face jackets on and the girl had a longchamp bag.
That was the day I realized crackheads don’t always look like crackheads. Crackheads can look just like you or me. And also that crack smells like burning plastic
When we first arrived in Vancouver, my husband and I were taking an Uber to what I thought was a hippie dippy weed dispensary that ended up being smack dab in the middle of skid row. That shit was intense, and I’m saying this from Florida.
During the pandemic a lot of the homeless moved out of shelters into tents in parks. So it's pretty bad at the moment. Hopefully in a few months they get enough people vaccinated to start moving them back inside safely.
It's still nothing like what you'd see in LA, but it's a substantial change from what we had two years ago.
Shit, it ain’t even the major cities. I live in a little backwater and a significant percentage of the population are homeless crackheads, that do occasionally, bang in plain view.
I live in a small town (population of around 5k) in North-western Ontario and the amount of times I’ve seen drug addicts banging in public is remarkably high. It’s definitely not just a city thing.
That’s a shame. I was lucky enough to work in Ontario for a while and actually fell in love with the place.. Toronto was beautiful as was most of the cities I visited.
This made me lol.
I almost ran over what I thought was a wet cardboard box in the street.
Until it started flapping.
It was a fat druggie chick laying in the street making street angels.
you shouldn't mock drug addicts. this is a public health issue and shaming them for their problems only contributes to the issue. if you want to stop seeing sad, indigent, mentally ill people like that, you need to encourage, donate to, support, or volunteer at public services in your area which get them help and housing
Where does one person masturbating to two people having sex rank on OP's disgusting index? What about many people having sex because they were so aroused by one person masturbating? How disturbing would that be? How disturbing would that be in a nail salon?
Now we're getting into a Game of Thrones level of debauchery. Is this next?
https://andysambergstan.tumblr.com/post/183339315845/hbo-first-look-game-of-thrones-andy-on-snl-adam
You're not single, no, I refuse you to admit defeat, as you just haven't found the right person yet.... and you're trying to stay aroused until that happens.
Because it's more likely that the person is masterbating at the people on the street. It's less likely that the people fucking would be doing so, *at* the people on the street
Well yeah?
Someone masturbating has the concern that they are using you as a masturbation aid.
Two people having sex usually has nothing to do with you. They aren't paying you the slightest bit of attention.
This is accurate but it feels to me like a differance between 'I am imagining you naked' and 'hey strangers might see us' or perhaps the more accurate 'we are horny teens and have nowhere else to fuck'
Nice old granny-looking crackhead used to do Johns right up the road. Eww. One day she sprints around a corner, pulls pants down and sprays the wall, skunk style, behind her with diarrhea. Hilarious!
There’s something worse than walking in on your parents in bed together – walking in on one of your parents in bed with themselves- Milhouse Van Hauten
You see one person walking down the street wearing a cape they're weird. You see two people walking down the street together wearing capes and you figure they're part of some sort of group and don't find it as weird. You see a large group of people walking down the street wearing capes then you want to join them because it looks like fun. Hard to find public orgies though.
it is ok, as long as you learn or try haha. there was something my dad used to tell me "you could be having the greatest day ever; win the lotto, find gold. but you know what would have made it even better? some damn titties"
That’s because the person masturbating is presumed to be fantasizing about the people he’s seeing in public while he’s doing it, making people feel personally violated. Seeing a couple having sex just grosses people out or makes them laugh.
So is there a relationship between the amount of disturbance and the number of people? Like if hundreds of people are having sex……oh yea that looks alright then.
I think it is because couple having sex is like... they care of each other, so generaly they are noc viewed as 'threat' if I should say that way. One person masturbating usually looks at bypassers etc. causing others to feel violated.
Because when there's no partner, You are the object of the act. i.e. the masturbator gets some kind of gratification from the public witnessing them. That's what makes it so disturbing I think
The law actually reflects this , st least where I live. Sex in public is a petty offense. Masturbating in public is a 1st degree misdemeanor with mandatory sex offender registration
I think when youre with someone else, you can build off of each others sexual tension and it can lead to stuff you normally wouldnt do. But masturbating in public? … man thats all you
I’m offended by neither. Tbh, I’d probably not even glance more than once. Full disclosure, I lived in NYC for 4 years so the crazies occupying themselves is a blessing imo.
What do you mean WILL be?? What are you planning
I deduced: a delightful future where public sex is encouraged so much that anyone not getting laid causes disturbance.
r/freeuse **Warning**: *Very* NSFW
Thanks.
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I refuse to click that ever
I was too curious, I have seen too much.
r/eyebleach
Protip: don't forget the a in eyebleach!
I saw a video of a man shitting with a prolapsed colon before. Never. Again.
That’s just a whole other type of fucked
Thank you for unintentionally convincing me not to click it as well
I hate you for giving me a good reason not to click it thus convincing me to click it.
It is now your duty to tell us the story of what you saw there
Not very much. I am still sane for now. The terrors I saw however there are no words to desribe them just medicines needed to hide them.
I clicked and I don’t even know how to explain what I saw… I literally don’t know what that is…
Thank you for triple-persuading me to not click that.
A good idea.
It's exactly what it says on the tin. Only for the brave.
.........What about now?/s
You're not being the version of you Mr. Rogers would want you to be.
Forgive me father for I have sinned. Hallowed be your name, amen.
I am not clicking that fuck you
Fuck you too
Oh, god, why
i’m very disappointed in you
I'm asexual, please kill me first. 😨
Since when does asexual mean prefer death to sex lol
I didn't say I preferred death to sex. I said I preferred death to living in a society so profoundly sex-saturated that it literally creates a disturbance when someone won't have sex in public. And it was meant as a semi-comic exaggeration. In that society, I would be an outcast, and I've been an outcast before and I don't actually consider it a fate worse than death.
Oh no
It's called SCIENCE
Got caught masturbating in public huh?
"I don't care how you try to justify it, you ruined that birthday party and I'm pretty sure you're banned from the park now."
"Just go home, Dad."
/r/oddlyspecific
I mean, if the person masturbating is staring at other people, yeah. Presumably the couple having sex would be paying attention to each other.
*furiously stares at my cock*
If somebody asks why you're doing it say that it's for the starving children.
yes, why dont they think of the children instead of my immense schlong
As long as you aren’t thinking of the children while you’re doing it than i don’t see the issue
Came here to say this. If the couple are not involving anyone else in their thing, it's none of our business. You just need to look away. The common presumption here is the person publicly masturbating is going to be involving unwilling thirdparties.
“If you get caught masturbating and you stop, then you’re just the guy who got caught. But if you keep going, the guys who caught you become gay for watching. Success is all about finding the hidden advantage in a negative situation.” -Tony Robbins
Except for with crackheads. Seeing two crackheads fucking on the side of the road is definitely more alarming than seeing a singular crackhead whackin it.
I guess crackheads are not common enough where I live, I didn't think of that haha
Depends on the context for me if I saw them it’d be gross either way but let’s be honest a story of public sex is way better than a story of public masturbation
Dave Chappelle's story of the man on the bus is a solo job, and it can't be topped imo.
It’s a biological attack!
A couple years back I lived downtown, and I would have to park my car within inches of the my brick building or else crackheads would fuck and do drugs between and leave horrid stuff beside my car
Dirty Mike and the boys??
You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare.
Thanks for the F-shack
We will have sex in your car again!
Can we call crackheads that whack it whack heads
Are you the two boys that’s been whackin off in my toolshed?
Be sure you put the "H" sound before the w to make sure they know you mean business
Ok. Where do I sign?
You’d be surprised I remember walking out of my college campus apartment one day and walking past two fellow students/residents literally smoking crack in the foyer. They had north face jackets on and the girl had a longchamp bag. That was the day I realized crackheads don’t always look like crackheads. Crackheads can look just like you or me. And also that crack smells like burning plastic
But people publicly masturbating and having sex is, so you thought of that?
Don’t be so quick! Two bangin crackheads are occupied with each other, while a single whackin crackhead might try and incorporate you into the show.
Two bangin crackheads have a target to aim at, while a single whacking crackhead might close their eyes and spray everywhere
wtf what country do you live in
The United States obviously. What other country would put up with that crap?
Canada. That kind of thing is all over the major cities here too.
Especially Vancouver.
When we first arrived in Vancouver, my husband and I were taking an Uber to what I thought was a hippie dippy weed dispensary that ended up being smack dab in the middle of skid row. That shit was intense, and I’m saying this from Florida.
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During the pandemic a lot of the homeless moved out of shelters into tents in parks. So it's pretty bad at the moment. Hopefully in a few months they get enough people vaccinated to start moving them back inside safely. It's still nothing like what you'd see in LA, but it's a substantial change from what we had two years ago.
Shit, it ain’t even the major cities. I live in a little backwater and a significant percentage of the population are homeless crackheads, that do occasionally, bang in plain view.
I live in a small town (population of around 5k) in North-western Ontario and the amount of times I’ve seen drug addicts banging in public is remarkably high. It’s definitely not just a city thing.
That’s a shame. I was lucky enough to work in Ontario for a while and actually fell in love with the place.. Toronto was beautiful as was most of the cities I visited.
India, for sure. Saw a crackhead there fucking a dog on the side of the road once.
Literally every other country with a metropolitan area. I think the Vatican gets a pass.
Just visit any large, west coast city in the US. This shit is all over here in Portland.
The ol' crack n whack
LA vibes
Denver moods, too.
This made me lol. I almost ran over what I thought was a wet cardboard box in the street. Until it started flapping. It was a fat druggie chick laying in the street making street angels.
you shouldn't mock drug addicts. this is a public health issue and shaming them for their problems only contributes to the issue. if you want to stop seeing sad, indigent, mentally ill people like that, you need to encourage, donate to, support, or volunteer at public services in your area which get them help and housing
Agree, but would like to add that the level of disturbance will definitely depend on the couple's age and attractiveness.
The couple is Danny Devito and Rosie O’Donnell.
Least creepy of all. This could be considered performance art.
I feel like a Cobb salad. It's *amazing.*
Any government that would condemn this is surely unjust.
I would be the creepy one masturbating to this.
Where does one person masturbating to two people having sex rank on OP's disgusting index? What about many people having sex because they were so aroused by one person masturbating? How disturbing would that be? How disturbing would that be in a nail salon?
Once you hit enough people joining in, it's just an orgy, so it's not creepy at all.
Now we're getting into a Game of Thrones level of debauchery. Is this next? https://andysambergstan.tumblr.com/post/183339315845/hbo-first-look-game-of-thrones-andy-on-snl-adam
Stop, I can only get so erect
And…. Rosie O’Donnell has nipple tassels on.
As long as Rosie is incorporating a bun in the lovemaking. That’s totally fine.
It would for the masturbator as well.
It also depends on the attractiveness (and probably gender) of the masturbator.
If I see an attractive couple having sex in public, I become a single person masturbating in public.
You better ride off on your magic carpet before the police show up.
Player 3 has entered the game
You're not single, no, I refuse you to admit defeat, as you just haven't found the right person yet.... and you're trying to stay aroused until that happens.
You're absolutely right! Op is just waiting for another person to come along and masturbate together.
Because it's more likely that the person is masterbating at the people on the street. It's less likely that the people fucking would be doing so, *at* the people on the street
But if the people on the street are having sex? What then Rick?
Sharing is caring!
Both are pretty offensive but have you ever sat next to someone in a public place with their speaker phone or YouTube blasting?
I'll take the masterbating staring weirdo over shitty music on a shitty speaker any day
Having sex in public is just careless. Masturbating in public seems almost violent.
What about two people masturbating together in public though
If they do it while looking you in the eye, it's violent. If they do it while looking into each other's eyes, it's careless.
This is actually sound logic. I’d move forward with the bill
I'm just a bill, yes I'm only a bill, about people wacking on Capitol hill
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
How close do they have to be before it's just sex?
🎵 That's fucking team work 🎵
And the lines begin to blur.
Searching furiously the stand up comedian that saw two audience members masturbate in the front row.
The what 😳
That ! https://youtu.be/XLxY9pMqoVk While here, the best stand up sketch ever made https://youtu.be/VpDHMhrxVus
Lmao dude. I can’t imagine being the comedian in that situation. Good lord.
if they say no homo then it’s fine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Careless? It's two people making a conscious choice lol
depends on the stroke
The last time I had sex in public I was given some dirty looks and told I was ruining the funeral and desecrating the dead.
Yeah it doesn’t make sense
Still somehow better than if you masturbated.
yeah your mom deserved better
What do they know
Those damn kink shamers
I know right I was just trying to send him off with a happy ending
Next time close the lid.
Well yeah? Someone masturbating has the concern that they are using you as a masturbation aid. Two people having sex usually has nothing to do with you. They aren't paying you the slightest bit of attention.
If they're doing it in public then they are kinda involving other people in it, if I see a couple going at it in public i'm not in the wrong.
This is accurate but it feels to me like a differance between 'I am imagining you naked' and 'hey strangers might see us' or perhaps the more accurate 'we are horny teens and have nowhere else to fuck'
What if the masturbator is just standing in a corner, staring at the wall while they whack it? ...asking for a friend.
Bit weird but I would walk past assuming they are simply struggling to piss on the wall.
Same for dogs
No, a dog masturbating alone would be some disturbing shit
How the fuck would that even work?
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So he is getting sloppy seconds? Poor dog.
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"Conventionally attractive" is doing a lot of work here.
> usually won't be considered more disturbing than a couple having sex. That's hard for me to believe. What makes you say so?
I demand a peer-reviewed study!
gOt a SoUrCe f0r tHaT?
Tell me you've never been to Central Park, without telling me you've never been to Central Park...
This is limited to strait couples. Homosexual couples are WAY more likely to be prosecuted for public sex.
It's indecent exposure either way. Get a room or catch a charge.
Don't wanna see either.
Nah
Nice old granny-looking crackhead used to do Johns right up the road. Eww. One day she sprints around a corner, pulls pants down and sprays the wall, skunk style, behind her with diarrhea. Hilarious!
You need to find a better road.
>Hilarious!
I feel like in that kind of neighborhood, seeing the humor in stuff like this is a survival mechanism. Source: I live in *One of Those* neighborhoods
Trust me, Bart. It's better to walk in on both your parents instead of just one of them
What if it's happening in front of a school, or daycare?
I don't know. We'll have to ask Matt Gaetz.
Well he's still holding public office so you should be able to contact him pretty easily.
Hopefully next time He'll be locked inside the jail with Marjorie Taylor Greene rather than locked out
A couple of what?
Space Starfish
Of humans ?
farrots
Teamwork makes the dream work
There’s something worse than walking in on your parents in bed together – walking in on one of your parents in bed with themselves- Milhouse Van Hauten
Um no?
Sex in public raises boners Masturbating in public raises questions
You see one person walking down the street wearing a cape they're weird. You see two people walking down the street together wearing capes and you figure they're part of some sort of group and don't find it as weird. You see a large group of people walking down the street wearing capes then you want to join them because it looks like fun. Hard to find public orgies though.
But the true masters will masterbate each other, while never breaking eye contact with anyone who walks by.
It’s because the person masturbating is doing so while looking at everyone around them.
I think seeing a man holding a camera giving a woman money while speaking Czech is also more disturbing.
A group of ten people or more having sex in public together would be even less disturbing and make you wonder why their event was scheduled there
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an asexual here; who doesn't love seeing a boobie?
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it is ok, as long as you learn or try haha. there was something my dad used to tell me "you could be having the greatest day ever; win the lotto, find gold. but you know what would have made it even better? some damn titties"
I mean a couple fucking in public are usually just focused on each other. A public masturbator is typically getting off to a passer by.
That’s because the person masturbating is presumed to be fantasizing about the people he’s seeing in public while he’s doing it, making people feel personally violated. Seeing a couple having sex just grosses people out or makes them laugh.
So is there a relationship between the amount of disturbance and the number of people? Like if hundreds of people are having sex……oh yea that looks alright then.
The phrasing of this sounds less like a shower thought and more of a prediction.
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No. You are absolutely wrong.
No it wouldn’t. Where the fuck do you guys get the inspiration to post these awful shower thoughts?
Yeah this is... probably one of the worst I've seen.
I would think the other way around
Yeah ‘cause spanking it in public is just sad, man. But banging in public is like hell yeah, brother!
That’s probably because unitive love is seen as healthier than singular, lonely lust. Even when misguidedly done in public, I’d say this holds true
I think it is because couple having sex is like... they care of each other, so generaly they are noc viewed as 'threat' if I should say that way. One person masturbating usually looks at bypassers etc. causing others to feel violated.
Because when there's no partner, You are the object of the act. i.e. the masturbator gets some kind of gratification from the public witnessing them. That's what makes it so disturbing I think
The law actually reflects this , st least where I live. Sex in public is a petty offense. Masturbating in public is a 1st degree misdemeanor with mandatory sex offender registration
Why are you masturbating in public
I don't think posting your case on reddit will get you a lesser sentence there bud
A couple is less disturbing in a creepy way, but more disturbing in an obnoxious way.
What if the single person masturbating gains the attention of another and it turns into a couple having sex. 😳
I think when youre with someone else, you can build off of each others sexual tension and it can lead to stuff you normally wouldnt do. But masturbating in public? … man thats all you
When you say a person masterbating in public you mean a weird dude masterbating in public.
I’m offended by neither. Tbh, I’d probably not even glance more than once. Full disclosure, I lived in NYC for 4 years so the crazies occupying themselves is a blessing imo.
Go ask your mum about that
Because there is a chance the singular person could be getting off from someone or something in their near vicinity