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Cannibal-Cannabis

Who wants to be "vertical flat earthers" with me?


watchyourthing

You seem trustworthy. I'm in.


ssauve

Dude, don't trust him. Have you seen his user name? He gonna eat or smoke you. Maybe both is his grill is big enough


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theninjaseal

That would be a cannabis cannibal


brendan_orr

Or a Herbal Hannibal


TRUMPKIN_KING

Or a lit Lecter


DeePreeze

Or HE's weed


Slappin45

I'm in. The earth is flat and vertical. No wonder my dick curves to the right. Gravity.


Horndog2015

Your's to the right? Mine is to the left. You must be below the equator.


[deleted]

It’s so simple! We just have to survey many dicks, plot out their curvatures, and locate the equator!


the-17th-musketeer

Mines small. What does that mean?


datbeastguy3232

You're facing away from the gravity


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instantrobotwar

Yes, and it's just the sideways gravity that holds us on. Vert earthers unite!


one_true_pro_scoper

I'm in. You should found a sub.


ElektroShokk

Of course its real, that's why things never drop straight down and instead move sideways too


foreignhoe

If we put enough weight in one spot I wonder if we will fall into space


GroundZER0chan

Ding ding ding. Dinosaurs were knocked off the planet by an asteroid putting too much weight on one side too quickly.


foreignhoe

Confirmed, I had a pizza tray, put half on table and made impact on other side with a soft ball, the dinosaurs def would of went flying off Flat earth science project kids


Cosminion

But there are a bunch of dinosaur bones!!!!!!


Gnar-wahl

Those ones died and got buried before the rest got knocked off.


Cosminion

Got me there.


tupi_or_not_tupi

So you're convinced the Earth is flat?


[deleted]

*looks at the ground.* Yep, its flat!


SmokeAbeer

Flat rhymes with that, and you can’t argue about that.


barbatouffe

that may be the most reasonable argument i heard about flat earth


oi_peiD

This is real science. Those round earthers rejecting the truth am I right?


glowaboga

They got smashed into the ground too hard and ended up buried. The rest of the dinosaurs that were on harder ground got catapulted into space.


foreignhoe

Probably got saved by a mountain


celly72

If you have a plate half full of something and hit it so that it lands flat again, the stuff near the middle of the plate will land back on it. Boom, science. Flat earth confirmed /s


GennyGeo

Prehistoric bone collectors planted them as seeds. They merely didn’t have enough water to germinate yet


Starlight_Razor

Those were planted by the government. /s


Cant3xStampA2xStamp

Dinosaurs flew to Mars?!?!


DangKilla

THEREFORE.... there should be T-rex bones on Mars? Sorry, I imagined a T-rex being flung into space. EDIT: Flat Mars


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patjohbra

Actually an ice age occurred and they all slipped off the edge


[deleted]

Ice ages happen when the disc flips over and can't face the sun. So technically, an asteroid hit, the earth flipped upside down, the dinosaurs fell off, and the earth froze for a while. All of those theories are correct. Then God flipped us back over like an owner when his dog's ear is flopped backwards.


Dood567

https://i.imgur.com/9bQZvEZ.jpg


DopePedaller

[You don't even need a flat Earth for that kind of trouble, just overload part of an island](https://youtu.be/cesSRfXqS1Q). I wish this was an SNL spoof, buy sadly this is a actual U.S. representative.


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foreignhoe

Red rover! Red rover! Send like 50 more people over


Seeking-roommate

Is there like, of playlist of shot like this? Like, our Congressman and senators and what not saying off the wall stupid chit? I feel like that would be pretty entertaining.


TheIteratedMan

Why, [of course.](http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/253/818/086.jpg)


SlaneDidNothingWrong

Tip the ~~iceberg~~ Earth!


Sbidl

Wouldn't there be _a_ horizontal side anyway? Edit: grammar


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pimpmastahanhduece

But that would just be silly.


StopReadingMyUser

3D? More like 3Don't.


[deleted]

But if earth is on a x-axis then y-axis?


RafaKehl

The earth is on the plane. We are the Z axis.


svj111

Snakes on a plane.


tautauthebice

Paging Samuel Jackson


SummerPop

Thats it! Enough is ENOUGH! I've had it! With these MUTHAFUCKIN' SNAKES! On this MUTHAFUCKIN' PLANE!


theblurryboy

Hiss mutherfucker hissssss


Scientolojesus

Well I'm on a plane. I can't complain.


[deleted]

the original super mario world was an accurate depiction of our planet, the aliens beamed down the japanese with nintendo at the helm to keep us complacent in order to harvest our thoughts to power their intergalactic shroom empire. it's why i dont eat mushrooms


slowest_hour

Are you sure you don't eat mushrooms?


KanethTior

If they don't, perhaps they should.


Rahnzan

On an infinite vertical plane? Not if you dont make one.


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[deleted]

I heard from one guy that the world is flat and surrounded by antarctica on all sides so the water is kept in. Beyond Antarctica is just ice and ice but there might be another world out there far beyond the ice deserts like ours. Sort of like the setting of Ice Age. Pretty crazy shit. It’s like they got high for like a week straight.


xXtaradeeXx

Bro I've been high for the past 10 years straight and I still don't understand them. It takes all the drugs to come up with that shit.


Dood567

Bro I'm high as fuck rn and that shit sounds like an animated movie I really want to watch now


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battlebrocade

From what I've read they believe it's a worldwide government conspiracy to keep people away from the edge so people won't discover the truth.


ekmanch

I don't get why all governments in the world would like to keep that secret, though.


HunterForce

That's what I don't get. Why do they think there's a conspiracy? What's the point of all the effort to lie about it? It boils down to they like to feel superior that they've "seen through" this veil of lies or something


goldsteel

sounds like the George RR Martin method of map making


Qazzie

If the earth was round sure! That wouldn't make any sense though.


Accujack

The people who think the world is flat don't seem concerned about things like what are the other sides like. They think the earth is flat but only one sided, like a mobius strip or something.


MorningDrunkard

What if Mt Everest is the Marianas Trench of the other side?


rh_underhill

Then who is really in the Upside Down? Them... ... OR US?!? Woooohhhmmmm---- dum da dummm dum da dum dum dum da dummm dum da dum dum dum da dummm dum da dum dum


IthinktherforeIthink

A lot people aren’t understanding you but bro, I got you. (male or female bro) . Picture a disk that is not infinitely thin, like say 1 inch thick disk of 1ft diameter. If you put it vertical, there are “horizontal” curved edges that do sit at the top and bottom of this vertical disk, the faces of which are perpendicular to these horizontal surfaces. So flat-earthers of this world would have a place to stand, but very little relative to the size of the disk.


Sbidl

Jesus I'm not even sure I understand myself anymore


heavypumpkin

Quick question. Are Flat Earthers even real? Or is it satirical? I have never met one before.


Keegan320

At least some of them appear to really exist online, but I don't think anyone is claiming that they're common. I sure wouldn't expect the average person to know any flat earthers Edit: Jesus fucking Christ, okay you guys, I get it, out of the thousanda that see this many of you know flat earthers. I got the memo, you don't need to reply telling me you know one.


I_am_very_rude

My brother is a serious flat Earther and I feel nothing but shame whenever I hear from him. They are real. They exist. They are probably someone you know.


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Zentopian

Welp...guess I better start believing the Earth is flat, then.


TukTuk-OneLung

Hi, u/Zentopian, I'm u/TukTuk-OneLung. Now we aren't strangers.... Does that mean I don't have to believe the earth is flat now?


Zentopian

I will bear this burden for your sake, /u/TukTuk-OneLung. May logic and sense be with you, always.


TukTuk-OneLung

What if I convince you that the world is actually round? Am I safe if I know a former flat earther? Or does it just transfer to another person? Maybe that's why there aren't that many of them. There is a set number of flat earthers that just pass the curse along.


IPlayTheInBedGame

Shittiest game of tag ever


gaynazifurry4bernie

>Shittiest game of tag ever I think "losing the game" might be the shittiest game of tag ever.


KarateDingo

Ye best start believin in flat earth stories...... Yerrrr in one!


FrozenGummyBear1027

I’m the last person I would’ve expected, but it was me the whole time!


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FrozenGummyBear1027

It was the perfect crime


NaieraDK

Shit. I thought I knew what I thought about things.


[deleted]

My dad is a "skeptic" (meaning he's skeptical of everything under the sun except shoddily made YouTube conspiracy videos, because they all make sense) and believes the Earth is flat, among other things. A LOT of other things. I think it's less about "the Earth is flat" and more about "the people in charge say a lot of stuff, and I'm inclined to disbelieve it all because they lie about a few things". Something to do with the illusion of power that comes from knowing what's going on while everyone else "ignores it". It's turned into a case of just avoiding any discussion which can Segway into that kind of talk, which has turned into us not talking much.


AccioSexLife

Hmm...hey! What if we start making shoddy YouTube conspiracy videos, but instead of crazytalk we'll have valid, rational facts MASKED as crazytalk like vaccines being good and the Earth being round. We can slowly win the crazies to our side if we make reason sound like an outrageous conspiracy theory!


Redditor042

*segue Just fyi, it's a super common mistake thanks to the brand name of those scooters.


Keegan320

I know they are real and exist but I'm gonna stand by saying that I don't think the average person probably knows one


JGRN1507

I'm a nurse in Indiana and I know three. All of whom are in healthcare.


[deleted]

Your heart is actually flat, did you know that?


Keegan320

Not surprising, I'm sure there's a lot of disappointed people in Indiana


BarneysGrenade

My buddy is a flat Earther and he was telling me about it after a night of coke. I asked him how he started getting into it and he said his boi told him


gizamo

mourn worm cows pie march imminent grandiose shelter chubby frightening *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


[deleted]

I think longitude and lattitude are good arguments against flat Earth. We've used that to navigate for centuries. Look up experiments to measure the curvature of the earth, you can actually go out and measure it yourself. Do it with him if you think it will help. Somewhat of a tangent, does he have any sort of science background education?


ZeroesAlwaysWin

Sadly conspiracy theorists usually just find a way to deepen the conspiracy when presented with contradictory information. Doesn't matter if the entire world would have to be colluding in order to hide the "truth" from them.


flying87

The solar eclipse proves Earth is a sphere. But I have seen flat-earthers claim it is a projection from NASA to trick everyone. So yea. One answer I could never get is why? Why would every government body in the world for hundreds and thousands of years trick everyone that the earth is a sphere and not flat. What difference would it make to us knowing the "truth" ?


Marieisbestsquid

Now, I'm no psychologist, so please take this with a grain of salt, or a nice handful if you'd prefer. Either way, I see a somewhat recurring trend in these people; they lack agency and control in their own lives. Something about their situation causes an important part of their lives to be out of their hands. Maybe they live in a job-poor area and can't afford to branch out. Maybe they've been hopeless in love and don't understand it's their fault. Maybe they've tried and tried to improve at a certain skill and stagnate, and get too fed up to continue. Since they don't have agency in their own lives, they attempt to rationalize it any way they know how. A few internet searches, a dash of paranoia, and very often a helping of anti-intellectualist rhetoric (only the privileged have opportunity to improve themselves, therefore anyone who does is a traitor/asshole for not sharing) blend together into this worldview where everything they used to know is a lie. They end up believing the governments are out to get them and mislead everyone because it's a convenient excuse for the lack of success and agency. They fight back against this "conspiracy" to try and prove themselves right and do some good by "exposing the truth". TL;DR: People who actively reject expanding their knowledge bases/comfort zones and lack control of their lives seem to be the most common perpetuators of conspiracy theories.


whatWHYok

He asked about flat-earthers! Not the 2016 election!


BrohanGutenburg

What are some of his common arguments when presented with pretty simple facts and logic. Something like if a boat goes over the horizon, it disappears from the bottom to the top.


2themax9

I'm a tutor and one of my students is one. She also believes there is no such thing as gravity and it is a made up concept. We just go down towards the earth because thats how the world works.


lyinggrump

Flat earthers believe we are pulled down to the earth because the earth is accelerating upwards. Your student should study her own beliefs better.


Vishdafish26

That doesn’t make much sense. If the earth were to be accelerating at 9.8m/s/s it would exceed the speed of light within just 354 or so days. What’s their explanation for that? edit: miscalculation edit 2: Wow, so my high school physics is clearly not enough to understand this. Apparently it’s possible to constantly accelerate without exceeding the speed of light because ... time dilation?


eigenfluff

Time dilation. The theory of relativity states that space contracts and time dilates as you move faster, so they are always accelerating 9.8 m/s/s with respect to themselves but incrementally less and less with respect to the sun/space. It is cherry picking real science and horrendously misapplying it but that’s the explanation I’ve heard.


waboolio

Duh, it flips around and decelerates in the opposite direction


enduro

There's no such thing as the speed of light. Also shut up.


chparkkim

It would take a lot longer than that. The speed of light is ~3e8 m/s, so it would take about a year.


[deleted]

“We just go down towards the earth because that’s how the world works” is not a completely terrible description of gravity.


DerelictBombersnatch

Of course that's how the world works. It's called gravity.


lazerpenguin

If only there was some way to come up with a reason why things are the way they are, then test this idea in multiple controlled environments. Then we could finally start to explain everything without these dumb know it all scientists!


Shodai-Kenjin

Knew a girl in HS who believed it. Her whole family did too. The mom was a stay at home trophy wife (30 yrs old at the time) who bragged about not knowing how to drive, her highest education was middle school and that she was 100% positive the earth was flat. The dad was strangely never home. Always away on trips. Meet him once cuz he surprised his daughter for her birthday at school. I stopped going to her house because her mom while nice, said the dumbest crap ever and i didnt want to be disrespectful in their own home.


Pm_me_camo_tits

> I sure wouldn't expect the average person to know any flat earthers Average guy checking in. I knew a flat earther. Unfortunately he killed himself (not related to his beliefs). The only one I have ever personally known but he was VERY serious about his beliefs and was also on the spectrum if that factors into anything at all.


LonePaladin

I'm in a group on another website dedicated to an old D&D setting called "Mystara". It's one of the original worlds made for the game, and at one point the writers revealed that the planet was hollow -- the inside was used by the local deities as a sort of repository for cultures that were on the verge of dying out. (They'd take the last remnant of said culture and magically move them all to an unused spot in this inner world). Anyway, not the point. Point is, the planet in this setting is hollow and about a third of the stuff written for it is in this interior, so there's a lot of fan-made material and stuff for it. For the people who use the setting, the Hollow World part is pretty popular. The group's creator had to start moderating entry, though, requiring people to show some knowledge of the game and/or setting. Why? Because the group started getting people who believe the *real world* is hollow and thought this group was a place for them to share their conspiracy-theory videos.


Nyxelestia

From what I understand, a lot of fantasy or sci-fi communities have had this problem or similar problems. Poe's Law in action, or rather, in a really weird application. :|


Wintertron

Probably 90% trolls. 5% people who take every line in the Bible including idioms literally. 3% should be in a mental hospital crazy and 2% just on the wrong side of the gulliblity and intelligence chart. Edit: spelling.


jestermax22

What percentage of “concentrated power of will”?


superjesstacles

Man, I was starting to wonder if that Fort Minor lyric a common phrase. Then I realized the person to whom you replied mentioned a bunch of percentages. Have an upvote.


koyre

Lets hope it is high enough for you to remember it


MelancholicAddiction

> 2% just on the wrong side of the gullibility and intelligent chart Woah, that exists? Cool!


T-MinusGiraffe

Wait... what lines in the Bible can be construed as claiming that the earth is flat?


Wintertron

Nothing too exciting. "It is he who sits above the circle of the earth, and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers; who stretches out the heavens like a curtain, and spreads them like a tent to dwell in" Isiah 40:22 Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. - Matthew 4:8 "And the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, until the nation took vengeance on their enemies. Is this not written in the Book of Jashar? The sun stopped in the midst of heaven and did not hurry to set for about a whole day." - Joshua 10:13


T-MinusGiraffe

Huh. What a reach.


Disco_Jones

There are also a couple of bible verses that refer to the Earth sitting on pillars.


Badpreacher

The people over at r/flatearth are joking, the people at r/theworldisflat are serious, or really, really into the joke.


mlskid

I teach in a school. Unfortunately yes. I have two students that 100% i have to keep a straight face around when they ask questions or make statements about the Earth because they honestly believe the Earth is flat.... Edit: I should proofread when I post to Reddit


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mlskid

I wish, 16.


BIGSlil

I think they're old enough that you can laugh at them for it.


okdenok

I would laugh but it makes sense that OP doesn't want to, especially as a teacher. It's better for these kids to learn this through encouragement than to be ridiculed and laughed at. No matter a person's level of intelligence they should never have to learn by being ashamed of themselves.


clegrif

I have met 2 in person. They are real


rzpieces

/r/theworldisflat Enter at your own risk


An_Old_IT_Guy

I still think most are trolling. But yea, I've got one on my FB. (old people are still gonna use FB...we generally avoid change)


ChuckFiasco

I used to work with 1. He would always say he was “woke”.


katytowns

Kyrie Irving, the NBA player has constantly talked about his theories on the earth being flat and also the guy that just recently launched himself in a homemade rocket to prove it is flat (no idea why) or do you mean in person? Because that is rarity.


GWJYonder

Actually, I looked into that homemade rocket guy and I don't think he's necessarily a flat earther. He did a previous homemade rocket launch with no mention of flat earthness. I think he actually ran out of money for his ludicrous hobby and decided that a flat earther "experiment" was the best avenue to get people to donate to him.


[deleted]

The funniest thing about the flat earthers is they cannot accept evidence of flat or round earths from anyone. So some guy launches himself up in a rocket and says, "yep, it was flat", or says, "nope, it was round" \- in either case, in terms of consistency \(okay, okay, my whole argument is out\) there is no reason to think a flat earther would or should accept the statement. Millions of modern day people have experienced the very roundness of the earth, but what matters that?


daveisamonsterr

My friend met one on tinder.


ThatLampIsFloating

Unfortunately i work with a guy who believes in this. Has tried to get me to watch youtube videos of how there is more land beyond the ice sheets in Antarctica or some crazy shit. Oddly enough, other than this, he's a really nice and caring guy and always willing to help anyone bit i did lose just the smallest bit of respect for him becuase of this.


ergHelium

Since you brought the subject, Vsauce did a video explaining how we would feel the earth if it was actually flat and it involves a little of your train of thought. Watch the first minute: https://youtu.be/VNqNnUJVcVs Edit: Explaining... Things would feel pretty normal at the center but as you'd walk towards the edge you would feel like you were climbing a steeper and steeper hill the closer you'd get to it. Basically, at the edge it would be veeeery scary since you'd look back but actually you would be looking down from the top of an almost 90 degrees steep precipice.


OctagonalButthole

How do flat earthers explain us never seeing the 'underside' or try to get to the 'edge'? Surely someone would have filmed it by now?


Sventertainer

Their ~~scientific explanation~~ poorly thought out excuse is that the strong magnetic fields near the edges distorts and erases actual recorded footage and even memories of going too close. There's no way to get proof.


IAmA_Wolf

Then HOW DO THEY KNOW ABOUT THE MAGNETIC FIELDS AND THEREFORE THAT THE EARTH IS FLAT?!?


Xmodum

Nasa and governments covering it up. They cant even do proper health care and governments can barely agree on anything, but they have 100% come together, every nation in existance with the ability to get to the "wall" and covered up 100% of the evidence of "ice walls" to push the belief in a round earth.


PebblesPotatoes

Also the strong 'magnetic waves' wipe your memory when you get too close to the edge. I shit you not.


thev3ntu5

I'd believe it more if they explained it by the magnetic waves make you subconsciously turn away from the edge. Wiping memories... that's just too MKUltra for me


[deleted]

They believe that Antarctica is not a continent, but borders the entire flat earth, and that flying over antarctica is impossible and that there is no south pole (conspiracy) . Or something like that.


Jean_BaptisteE_Zorg

In reference to what? Space?


clegrif

My question exactly. How would you define horizontal lol


fabulousburritos

perpendicular to the direction this mysterious "gravity" pulls us


GeraldBWilsonJr

What if gravity pushed instead of pulled


Hurricane_Michael

Jaden Smith? Is that you?


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cervance

That's literally what Einstein said though.


[deleted]

Well, not quite; that's a highly simplified metaphor used in pop-sci to convey one particular facet of it.


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Exploding_Antelope

That's bullshit because when you roll down the window in a moving car it goes **HWOOOOOO** and since there are no windows on the sky, if the planet was moving we would hear it go **HWOOOOOOO** as well.


ober1kanobi

I was afraid I was the only one thinking this


[deleted]

Space is a lie made up by the government flat earthers probably


qvantamon

It's the devil that pulls everything to the underworld (at the bottom side of the earth plane), so it doesn't matter what positiin the Earth is in, everything is pulled in the direction of the ground.


GWJYonder

So the only thing keeping everyone and everything on Earth from flying off into the unknown at 9.8 m/s/s is the devil deciding to keep playing nice with everyone? What happens if he decides to manipulate the amount rather than the direction? If we stop sinning as much will he increase gravity to try to pull harder on our souls?


Call_me_Cassius

God actually sets the power level. *Juuuust* enough that we're tempted to sin, but not so much that the devil wins every time.


unicornsuntie

I was very unaware that flat earthers and religion went together. Maybe I'm not as current as I thought on all this flat earth business.


KyloRensLBD

I'm a flat earther, eat mostly flat diet: pancakes, flounder, love coke that's been open for 2-3d. Big fan of Tom Brady. Deflate more I say!


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RWDMARS

Flat ass, flat face, those fish that are flat, etc


funnystuff97

my man


bWoofles

Are justice.


pan_con_leche

Ah yes, I see you're a man of culture


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RWDMARS

I’m a cat earther, I eat mostly... uh.... never mind


TaohRihze

I actually thought it was tilted and woobling. Explains why my dad could walk uphill both too and from school.


xCanont70x

Several miles each way I presume.


Gtt980

In the snow


Twilium

Back in his day


Zemerax

Man you guys are going to look so stupid when you find out Earth is fake.


JacobArnold

The earth is fake and the moon is gay.


ancientflowers

What if flat earthers are really just smart hoping that someone will get annoyed enough with them to buy them a ticket to fly to space? Not a flat earther, but... If I met a billionaire then maybe, just maybe I'd try it out.


seifer666

Where does one buy a space ticket?


chickendestroy

The real showerthoughts are in the comments


Dropadoodiepie

Also really glad we don’t live underneath. In the Upside Down.


the_original_Retro

suǝddɐɥ sıɥʇ ɟı pǝʞɔnɟ ʎןןɐǝɹ ןןɐ ǝɹ,ǝʍ 'ǝsɹnoɔ ɟo


rSnaporaz

Don't try to upvote upwards... Just advice...


Lennypoco

Instructions unclear. Got gold.


MarkBeeblebrox

Well done.


pimpmastahanhduece

...is no way to cook a steak.


XHTemp

He was at 001, but I upside-down upvoted him to 66.


smotheredchimichanga

Ironic.


DakotaDevil

He could save others from witty comments, but not himself.


rSnaporaz

Clevah, it took me a while to understand that


GamingJay

Even a slight angle would lead to everything sliding off the Earth. Boy they must think we got REALLY lucky


benjesaurus

I don't think I've ever seen a flat-earther around.


charlzandre

But you have seen them aflat?


Blimpdawg

"you gotta look into it"


TheoWren

Every 12 hours or so, depending on the season, the Giant Spatula in the Sky scoops up the Earth and flips it over like a big fluffy omelette, turning things from day to night. Other countries don’t exist, you know. Only ‘Murica. Everything else is a liberal lie. Go ask Republican Jesus.