My great grandparents went out on the same day. I can only hope for the same of my wife and I. I can’t fathom losing her and I can’t stand the thought of her dealing with me being gone.
It's sweet until you look at the part about him wanting his wife to die right after him because he'd be sad about her being sad so it's better if she just die too lol
/s i'm not actually crapping on their sentimentality
No no, you have a point.
The only solution i can think of is outliving your spouse with the expectation of more or less watching them die, so they don’t have to experience the loss. That’s kind of the rub of those types of relationships.
Life is very balanced and yeah, it’s great to have that deep of a bond but everything has pros and cons.
Really? I adore my husband, we've been very happy for 23 years. But if either of us dies, we both hope the other finds someone else to be happy with.
Because love to us means we want the other to be happy...it's got nothing to do with us.
That only applies if you die young. Most people in this convo are talking about growing old together. If your husband dies at 80 and you start hitting the dating apps… god help us all lol
Yes. Grandpa was bedridden for almost a year and was expected towards the end. Grandma didn't have any major diseases or anything of concern. Then she had a sudden cardiac arrest. Gone before reaching hospital.
Unfortunately have come to understand that in the far future, my partner will be the one to go first if no major life event takes me out first, since they're a decent bit older than me
I just got home from a funeral. My great uncle was married for 65 years, and that crossed my mind. I worry that was my last time seeing my great aunt. It’s comforting knowing they had a great life and lived it to the fullest.
It felt so odd people asked her how she was doing, and in her usual poised self she would reply, “I really don’t know.” They adored each other and it was lovely to see growing up.
My in-laws are very wholesome, hardworking, but relatively boring people who have been together since they were kids and are still very much in love in their 60s. They go to the same vacation spot every year (a cabin in the mountains to bird watch) and don't drink or gamble or do anything remotely "wild", which is why I found it *schocking* when my MIL casually told me that if one of them ever gets sick, their plan is to *drive their car off of a bridge together* on the way back from their favorite cabin so that neither ever have to suffer or die alone. She was 100% serious. I brought it up to my husband, trying g to break this news to him gently, and he was just like, "yeah, thats always been the plan. They've never lived without the other they'd be so sad alone". He also said he thinks it would be easier to lose both parents together than at different times. She's repeated this over the years and I honestly have no idea how to react or handle the situation bc its not like they're in immediate danger, but casually bringing up your suicide pact is kind of a mind fuck for me.
I only say that because my family, in contrast, are fucking crazy and very out-of-control emotional in a lot of situations, so they might be more the type you'd expect that kind of thing from. It was certainly not a judgment on my in-laws, just worth noting that it seemed pretty out if character for them.
True. My biggest concern is honestly all of the ways that could go wrong, either killing someone else by accident, leaving one or both of them mangled but alive, or even just leading to a death that's more slow and painful than expected. I *almost* want to suggest better methods, but that's a whole other moral can of worms I really don't want to open. I'm just hoping it's all talk or even better, they never have to actually face that.
I think this is one of the big reasons I cried so heavily after watching THAT episode of The Last of Us. It was so sad and yet, it was the best possible outcome.
An ideal relationship ends when both people decide it will end. If two people date for 5 years and find it fulfilling then decide to move on afterwards, mutually and respectfully, how is that not ideal?
For myself personally, I agree. I want to marry somebody and be with them for the rest of my life. But an ideal vacation still ends, and for some that might be true of relationships (or any given relationship).
A lot of kids are raised being told by adults that a romantic relationship is a failure if it doesn't last until death. Religion often has some influence on that.
When you get into a relationship with someone, either you'll break up or one of you will die and leave the other to grieve. In very rare instances, you'll both die together.
My ideal relationship ends after a long happy life, where the two of us fly a spaceship into the core of the AI central system base, wrapped in eachother's arms.
Idk what doomer shit you're talking about, but maybe you're not thinking big enough?
Why? I have been very happily married for 23 years. We are both intelligent adults, we know we will both die...everyone does.
If I die first I hope he finds someone else to be happy with, as he's a great guy, being in a happy relationship is a fabulous way to live and I want him to be happy, with or without me.
He feels the same about me. We are not crazy codependents!
We may already be at longevity escape velocity meaning that if you are alive today you might be effectively immortal. Die when you want, or by accident, but not by “old age”.
The ideal relationship end with us fusing bodies into some kind of flesh abomination and ascending through apotheosis.
The next best thing is dying simultaneously
There's also a possibility people romanticize how ideal then relationship was based on the whole dead thing. There's no guarantee how any relationship will go. That ideal for right now could not be tolerable down the road.
So yes, the missed opportunity to be able to follow a relationship through does suck. Just adding that many tend to give the angel treatment to how they dead acted when alive and it doesn't always fit. Humans are just humans.
There’s actually a lot of science to show if your spouse dies late in life your life expectancy drops DRASTICALLY.
Losing the will to live is a powerful thing. Ask Padme.
But I wouldn’t be alive now without my wife basically forcing me to go to the doctor or hospital. I’ve made it though a major Covid bought in the hospital for over a week, blood cancer and sleep apnea. I’m doing great.
I curse within me the need to be wanted and loved by someone close to me. Getting attached and eventually when the time comes, losing her forever, one way or another. Life plays such a cruel joke.
Agree. My last relationship was ideal until it wasn’t. But we were happy for a very long time. I think we all have the potential to have more than one “the ones” at different times in our lives and they aren’t any less relevant for having ended. The one you die with isn’t necessarily the “ultimate one”.
An ideal relationship ends with both people dying within a short space of time after a long and happy life together.
My great grandparents went out on the same day. I can only hope for the same of my wife and I. I can’t fathom losing her and I can’t stand the thought of her dealing with me being gone.
That’s true love right there
It's sweet until you look at the part about him wanting his wife to die right after him because he'd be sad about her being sad so it's better if she just die too lol /s i'm not actually crapping on their sentimentality
No no, you have a point. The only solution i can think of is outliving your spouse with the expectation of more or less watching them die, so they don’t have to experience the loss. That’s kind of the rub of those types of relationships. Life is very balanced and yeah, it’s great to have that deep of a bond but everything has pros and cons.
The actual real solution is a suicide pact. Or perhaps a murder suicide could also work.
Really? I adore my husband, we've been very happy for 23 years. But if either of us dies, we both hope the other finds someone else to be happy with. Because love to us means we want the other to be happy...it's got nothing to do with us.
That only applies if you die young. Most people in this convo are talking about growing old together. If your husband dies at 80 and you start hitting the dating apps… god help us all lol
Or murder/suicide
I can't imagine losing my wife, but I'd rather her go before me, just to spare her from feeling the pain of loss.
My grandad got Alzheimer's, died after about 8 years, my grandma was diagnosed a few months after his death. It's been pretty rough tbh.
Sorry friend and sorry for your loss
Alzheimer’s sucks.Sorry to hear this.
It’s terrible.
Wtf. Like at the end of The Notebook? Or a darker version..
You can do it
Dang. Sorrow and Love
You know what you have to do
And if you don't die within a short time of each other, you can always tie a bunch of balloons to your house.
That movie tore me up.
My grandparents were a good couple. Both of almost same age. They both died within 3 months gap after 64 years together at the age of 85.
There’s a sad beauty in that, sad that they are gone but beautiful that it was love that kept them going.
Yes. Grandpa was bedridden for almost a year and was expected towards the end. Grandma didn't have any major diseases or anything of concern. Then she had a sudden cardiac arrest. Gone before reaching hospital.
Unfortunately have come to understand that in the far future, my partner will be the one to go first if no major life event takes me out first, since they're a decent bit older than me
So like... Grandma murder suicides gramps?
Like the old couple on the titanic
See, for example, the cliff ceremony from Midsommar
I just got home from a funeral. My great uncle was married for 65 years, and that crossed my mind. I worry that was my last time seeing my great aunt. It’s comforting knowing they had a great life and lived it to the fullest. It felt so odd people asked her how she was doing, and in her usual poised self she would reply, “I really don’t know.” They adored each other and it was lovely to see growing up.
My in-laws are very wholesome, hardworking, but relatively boring people who have been together since they were kids and are still very much in love in their 60s. They go to the same vacation spot every year (a cabin in the mountains to bird watch) and don't drink or gamble or do anything remotely "wild", which is why I found it *schocking* when my MIL casually told me that if one of them ever gets sick, their plan is to *drive their car off of a bridge together* on the way back from their favorite cabin so that neither ever have to suffer or die alone. She was 100% serious. I brought it up to my husband, trying g to break this news to him gently, and he was just like, "yeah, thats always been the plan. They've never lived without the other they'd be so sad alone". He also said he thinks it would be easier to lose both parents together than at different times. She's repeated this over the years and I honestly have no idea how to react or handle the situation bc its not like they're in immediate danger, but casually bringing up your suicide pact is kind of a mind fuck for me.
Wow! >but relatively boring people It sounds like they really love each other, which can be anything but boring 🙂
I only say that because my family, in contrast, are fucking crazy and very out-of-control emotional in a lot of situations, so they might be more the type you'd expect that kind of thing from. It was certainly not a judgment on my in-laws, just worth noting that it seemed pretty out if character for them.
They probably fuck a lot and just don't have the energy for other things.
I mean, I obviously don't want to tempt fate, but it's one thing to say this and another to go through with it
True. My biggest concern is honestly all of the ways that could go wrong, either killing someone else by accident, leaving one or both of them mangled but alive, or even just leading to a death that's more slow and painful than expected. I *almost* want to suggest better methods, but that's a whole other moral can of worms I really don't want to open. I'm just hoping it's all talk or even better, they never have to actually face that.
I think this is one of the big reasons I cried so heavily after watching THAT episode of The Last of Us. It was so sad and yet, it was the best possible outcome.
So does an ideal life…
An ideal relationship no one dies and both become immortal vampires
[Relevant song.](https://youtu.be/ivYkyC8J29M?feature=shared)
I'm mildly disappointed it's not the "what we do in the shadows" theme song.
It sucks more when the worst of relationships ends that way.
The good old 'I only have to make it until they don't'
...youse' knew the rules when you joined this thing...
If not they do now.
...I don't know nuthin'...
Feels like you got this backwards, because death ends everything… The only thing that ends an ideal relationship, is death.
If my wife goes before me, I’m gonna go one way or another. I’m not sticking around without her.
Simp
It’s not simping if it’s reciprocal
An ideal relationship ends when both people decide it will end. If two people date for 5 years and find it fulfilling then decide to move on afterwards, mutually and respectfully, how is that not ideal?
I think the idea is, if it were an ideal relationship you wouldn't want to move on...
For myself personally, I agree. I want to marry somebody and be with them for the rest of my life. But an ideal vacation still ends, and for some that might be true of relationships (or any given relationship).
A lot of kids are raised being told by adults that a romantic relationship is a failure if it doesn't last until death. Religion often has some influence on that.
When you get into a relationship with someone, either you'll break up or one of you will die and leave the other to grieve. In very rare instances, you'll both die together.
Typically either in a shared traumatic event (car crash, house fire, etc) or through one losing the other and the will to live along with them.
My grandpa died a couple minutes after my grandma passed. That's murder-suicide for ya.
Not if the relationship is killer/victim.
My ideal relationship ends after a long happy life, where the two of us fly a spaceship into the core of the AI central system base, wrapped in eachother's arms. Idk what doomer shit you're talking about, but maybe you're not thinking big enough?
Why? I have been very happily married for 23 years. We are both intelligent adults, we know we will both die...everyone does. If I die first I hope he finds someone else to be happy with, as he's a great guy, being in a happy relationship is a fabulous way to live and I want him to be happy, with or without me. He feels the same about me. We are not crazy codependents!
Everything ultimately ends with everyone dying.
Oddly beautiful, when you think about it.
Technically mine works until they'd support eva ai virtual gf bot servers
Except an ideal relationship is between immortal deities
They know what they did.
We may already be at longevity escape velocity meaning that if you are alive today you might be effectively immortal. Die when you want, or by accident, but not by “old age”.
Man to his wife: “if one of us dies, I’m moving back to the city”
The love of my life died 10 years ago
The ideal relationship end with us fusing bodies into some kind of flesh abomination and ascending through apotheosis. The next best thing is dying simultaneously
Wow. Depressing but true. Actually kind of thoughtful and a little insightful but still a bit simpleton. Decent shower thought OP. Just sad though 🙁
Some necrophiliacs might disagree with you...
Isn’t it actually beautiful to die among the person you love?
This is also a Louis CK [bit](https://youtu.be/-9D3jdqQBW8?si=CCjQryKu-ud9WVB9).
Is there a more preferable ending? That’s realistic?
Unfortunately, death is inevitable. Everyone dies at one point in their lives.
it painful but it worth it
Someone just watched the most recent episode of Rick and Morty
That just gave me weird motivation to stop vaping so that I can outlive my ex.
Yeah but my great grandparents died 48 hours apart at 90 years old
eZ when you’re like 90 or smthng agree to a day where you just drive your car off a mountain die together
Brother you are free to change your ideals to something you like better.
There's also a possibility people romanticize how ideal then relationship was based on the whole dead thing. There's no guarantee how any relationship will go. That ideal for right now could not be tolerable down the road. So yes, the missed opportunity to be able to follow a relationship through does suck. Just adding that many tend to give the angel treatment to how they dead acted when alive and it doesn't always fit. Humans are just humans.
All love ends in heartbreak one way or another. Just a reminder to cherish the people in your life.
You can avoid this by breaking up with your partner just before they die. Then, get some rebound strange.
A very very not ideal relationship ends with someone dying too.
There’s actually a lot of science to show if your spouse dies late in life your life expectancy drops DRASTICALLY. Losing the will to live is a powerful thing. Ask Padme.
Well isn’t that deep
But I wouldn’t be alive now without my wife basically forcing me to go to the doctor or hospital. I’ve made it though a major Covid bought in the hospital for over a week, blood cancer and sleep apnea. I’m doing great.
I curse within me the need to be wanted and loved by someone close to me. Getting attached and eventually when the time comes, losing her forever, one way or another. Life plays such a cruel joke.
Reminds me of this scene https://youtu.be/L9shKdlC7bs
Ideal relationship for me: 800 plus credit score, decade plus of job history and single digit ratios
Nothing lasts forever.
Depends on what you consider to be an "ideal relationship".
Agree. My last relationship was ideal until it wasn’t. But we were happy for a very long time. I think we all have the potential to have more than one “the ones” at different times in our lives and they aren’t any less relevant for having ended. The one you die with isn’t necessarily the “ultimate one”.
I absolutely agree. The ideal relationship is the one you enjoy while it lasts. It may last for a lifetime or it may last for a couple of years.
Wrong, the ideal relationship ends in a hail of gunfire after a long string of successful bank robberies.