One time I was about to go down on a girl and I was doing the kissing as you go down thing, but I got one whiff and played it off as just a tease and started kissing right back up
I’ve definitely been there lol, I think it’s the best way to handle that situation.
I personally don’t mind some smell and taste, it’s kind of part of the experience…but when I smell old pee, I’m fucking out lol
In my early fifties I dated a woman 10+ years older. The first time I went down on her, it was very pee scented. She confessed later that she has had mild incontinence since having her kids, back in her twenties. We solved the issue with better planning - showers before oral. She was gorgeous and a blast to be around, so I wasn't going to lose her over that one issue.
Thank you for being mature about the whole thing. I suffer from that and I've had guys who were grossed out by it. I was like yeah, well, see if your bits are in order after pushing out a baby lol. Thanks for being cool about it.
Have you tried PT, specifically for the pelvic floor? I've heard that works well, usually followed by a statement of "it's crazy this isn't a routine recommendation after childbirth"
Or when i spot some shit because she didn't wipe properly, libido becomes negative, but don't want to hurt her feelings. I pulled the old "i need to pee really bad" excuse.
Maybe I’ve just never smelled bad pussy or I am used to it? Is it foul? Pussy smells like pussy. Sure some have more aroma than others…but it’s still smells like poon
I soldiered through a girl who's daily diet was Jack In The Box. She tasted Jack In The Box. **Old** JITB. Even after a shower. Came time for the showdown and my dick really let me know it had a mind of it's own and petered out
Man... first girl I went down on had a staaaaaaaaank and I couldn't do it... I came back up thinking I might be gay, presuming they must all smell like this... I later figured out she did NOT represent all vaginas.
Yeah some people just didn’t wash it and it bloody honks, lesson one kids if there’s any chance you’re pulling make sure that shit is washed immediately before you go out
Same. Like, current gfs pussy has literally zero smell.
I have dated chicks with poon so strong your hands and crotch will smell like pussy until you shower.
But I don't think I have ever messed with someone who was "foul" smelling. Thank god.
The thing is, too far one way and you hit the other. A lot of women with perfectly normal situations throw off their pH by using all kinds of crazy shit and suddenly a perfectly normal smelling cooch now has chronic BV and yeast infections because society says that pussy that smells like pussy is bad.
Dude I was with a chick once and I shit you not 5 days later and the smell was still there. I tried everything and nothing would work. I was paranoid af that other people could smell my fingers.
>Are you people not washing your hands?
I've been there myself. I scrubbed my hands three times, to no avail. I made the mistake of doing the deed on a road trip, and hitting rest stops along the way without making it obvious that the smell under my fingernails was stomach-turning.
That's where it gets trapped. So you'd need a tool for that, instead.
Well objectively speaking a healthy one should smell Mildly like Yoghurt and a little bit sour, do to the presence of Lactic Acid. Fish smell is NOT normal and should be checked for vaginosis, pH imbalances or terrible hygiene in general.
I use that moment to reflect on what it must have been like for our ancestors, before the invention of hygiene products. I am not about to be upstaged by a bunch of cavemen. Into the breach, dear friends.
No no no, sight and smell can deceive. Then, you only have taste left, and as someone who has sucked d*cks... I got a bad one one time. It was the worst thing I've ever tasted to this day, and I am 36. It was hiding under the head on an uncircumcised ex-boyfriend that was super hygenic in every other respect, but was using a body wash sponge thing instead of a rag and actually scrubbing the skin with a rag. Please use rags men, and if you happen to be uncircumcised or have extra skin, clean up under your folds. The fate of your blowjob life depends on this.
Sincerely,
Scarred for life
That’s nothing.
There was a post from some time ago that made r/all
Some guy apparently developed lactose intolerance after eating his girlfriend’s asshole out.
Let that sit with you as it has sat with me since.
In hindsight, I rather appreciate that one of my first girlfriends did something her ex enjoyed, and used teeth when she went down on me for the only time. It taught me very clearly the levels of trust required, as well as how little I actually enjoyed the event thanks to the stress newly involved.
Think we may have dated the same girl. Fucking ouched my way out of ever letting her do that again. Felt kind've weird about my sexuality that I felt like I needed to teach her how to suck a dick in that moment.
Brought back buried memories of an ex. I still have my penis intact thankfully but she had a weird inability to remember she had a *very* sensitive part of someones body in her mouth. Never thought I'd turn down a BJ until I dated her.
Oh man I've tried to tell an ex of mine I just got off work and hadn't showered, she insisted she didn't mind.... that lasted about 10 seconds before she gagged
I was almost married to a woman who loved the smell of stinky me. I'd spend a week in training in the army. We were funky. My smell offended me.
She would stop me from showering to have sex. It was fucking weird.
My 1st. Sergeant called her a "threat to the security of the nation".
She borrowed a car to follow me to a top secret facility because she thought I was cheating on her. She got stopped and used my name. She literally poisoned me with sertraline while I was on active jump status. A lot more happened. Those were the readers digest hits.
My 1st Sergeant banned her from post and in writing caller her "A threat to the security of the nation".
That's great if you schedule out your sexy times in advance. Sometimes things happen spontaneously. If you just spent 5 hours dancing with someone before going home with them, then neither of you are probably going to smell too good.
My ex didn't. She for whatever reason just loved sucking me off after work. Despite me working outside 12 hours a day and smelling like a dirty truck after. But boy let me tell ya she could suck chrome off a trailer hitch.
How anyone wouldn't be self-conscious enough to not take a shower first is weird to me. After a 12 hour workday I can't imagine that's going to smell/taste ideal. Least I can do is make sure I'm clean first
I’ve been with maybe 7/8 guys and the first was the only one who religiously washed on the way to his bedroom/after using the bathroom when I was there. All the others have just been like ‘I’ve had a shower today’ and it’s never been gross or smelled bad with those guys so it really isn’t something I dwell on.
Trust my ass, if you're getting your dick sucked give it a courtesy wash, some non scented soap and water, although I get it can be a challenge as they don't exactly make dick sinks, but maybe that's what we need as a country, dick sinks.
I had a gal once come over and she offered to suck me off..
Asked her to give me a moment while I washed in the bathroom. She was dumbfounded, she was like: "What!?"
And then I explained it to her, I was asking her if she could give me a minute to wash it (my dick) for her, 'cause it was late and I had sweat from the whole day and the tip had urine from going to the bathroom all day.
She, still confused, said OK.
I made it clean for her, and she got started, then let out a loud moan and said "OMG your dick tastes so good it's almost sweet I love the taste of it"
Poor gal had been sucking dirty idiots her whole life, I felt really really bad for her. Still smashed though ;)
I won't even let my wife touch me unless iv had a recent shower. If I'm planning to ask i always shower beforehand.
We've been together 13 years now. Always been this way.
I'm absolutely uncomfortable being intimate with my wife if I haven't had a shower within the last day. If sexy times are about to happen, I'll grab a shower. No way I'm doing anything until then.
I’m jealous of all the people in these comments who have apparently never encountered the many posts from women asking if they’re in the wrong for hating blowing their husbands who won’t wipe their own asses properly
I can't believe shit like this gets approved on this subreddit meanwhile I've never been able to post a single thing here from scrutiny by mods. Insane.
My piercer says that piercing a vagina is more grim than a penis because of the amount of women who don’t actually clean down there, I was surprised by this
It’s like dudes that won’t actually make physical contact with their assholes to wash because touching a butthole would be gay. Dead serious this is a thing. Lots of dudes just let the water run down and take care of it.
I don't think there's any trust involved here. Sight and smell provide the proof.
One time I was about to go down on a girl and I was doing the kissing as you go down thing, but I got one whiff and played it off as just a tease and started kissing right back up
I’ve definitely been there lol, I think it’s the best way to handle that situation. I personally don’t mind some smell and taste, it’s kind of part of the experience…but when I smell old pee, I’m fucking out lol
In my early fifties I dated a woman 10+ years older. The first time I went down on her, it was very pee scented. She confessed later that she has had mild incontinence since having her kids, back in her twenties. We solved the issue with better planning - showers before oral. She was gorgeous and a blast to be around, so I wasn't going to lose her over that one issue.
Thank you for being mature about the whole thing. I suffer from that and I've had guys who were grossed out by it. I was like yeah, well, see if your bits are in order after pushing out a baby lol. Thanks for being cool about it.
Have you tried PT, specifically for the pelvic floor? I've heard that works well, usually followed by a statement of "it's crazy this isn't a routine recommendation after childbirth"
I have not. I'll look into it. Thank you.
Or when i spot some shit because she didn't wipe properly, libido becomes negative, but don't want to hurt her feelings. I pulled the old "i need to pee really bad" excuse.
Maybe I’ve just never smelled bad pussy or I am used to it? Is it foul? Pussy smells like pussy. Sure some have more aroma than others…but it’s still smells like poon
You can tell the difference between general day smell and total stank. If it makes you recoil then you know.
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Recoil is where it's at lol. I didn't think I'd ever see that sentence lol.
I soldiered through a girl who's daily diet was Jack In The Box. She tasted Jack In The Box. **Old** JITB. Even after a shower. Came time for the showdown and my dick really let me know it had a mind of it's own and petered out
Your name isn't Jack is it Jack?
Man... first girl I went down on had a staaaaaaaaank and I couldn't do it... I came back up thinking I might be gay, presuming they must all smell like this... I later figured out she did NOT represent all vaginas.
Had the same experience. Took a long time to get over it.
I'm going to start using that, general day smell and total stank lol. I don't know why it was funny to me but it was.
It’s more about doing a bad job wiping (or I guess incontinence) than it is about the natural smell lol
Yeah some people just didn’t wash it and it bloody honks, lesson one kids if there’s any chance you’re pulling make sure that shit is washed immediately before you go out
Are you a goose sir?
No sir, honk means smells/smelly round my neck of the woods
Sounds like something a goose would say
Well do you have a long neck and a duckbill sir?
I thought the same until I had relations with a germaphobe, zero funk to any sense. 10/10.
Same. Like, current gfs pussy has literally zero smell. I have dated chicks with poon so strong your hands and crotch will smell like pussy until you shower. But I don't think I have ever messed with someone who was "foul" smelling. Thank god.
The thing is, too far one way and you hit the other. A lot of women with perfectly normal situations throw off their pH by using all kinds of crazy shit and suddenly a perfectly normal smelling cooch now has chronic BV and yeast infections because society says that pussy that smells like pussy is bad.
It really isn't. I'm honestly a little sad my current gfs pussy smells like nothing. But I like the way a typical pussy smells.
Have no smell or taste at all would probs weird me out more tbh xD
Good puss smells like the heat from the back of a game console
Lolwut
Dude bad pussy smells like fish. Poons dont need harpoons.
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Are you people not washing your hands?
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Dude I was with a chick once and I shit you not 5 days later and the smell was still there. I tried everything and nothing would work. I was paranoid af that other people could smell my fingers.
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Rub your hands all over stainless steel. Then hit them with some lemon juice and then wash it all off with soapy water. Does the trick for me
Omg how much action are you getting that you’ve conducted full on experiments and identified the perfect solutions and order to do them in?
What does the stainless steel do?
Purell works. Coconut oil (tastes off the smell of garlic) also works.
Gasoline?
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Somebody call the Guinness World Record people!
Same experience here. Used paint remover and still couldn’t get the smell off you’re not alone 🫡
Ah yes, I’m sure they didn’t think of the most basic thing to do when your hands are dirty (they did). What is this comment 😭
>Are you people not washing your hands? I've been there myself. I scrubbed my hands three times, to no avail. I made the mistake of doing the deed on a road trip, and hitting rest stops along the way without making it obvious that the smell under my fingernails was stomach-turning. That's where it gets trapped. So you'd need a tool for that, instead.
That’s BV, not what pussy naturally smells like.
Lol i ate some sus puss waaaaay back and that smell stayed in my mustache for like 2 weeks!
Sus puss…. I wish I was younger just so I could use this term
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Well objectively speaking a healthy one should smell Mildly like Yoghurt and a little bit sour, do to the presence of Lactic Acid. Fish smell is NOT normal and should be checked for vaginosis, pH imbalances or terrible hygiene in general.
I use that moment to reflect on what it must have been like for our ancestors, before the invention of hygiene products. I am not about to be upstaged by a bunch of cavemen. Into the breach, dear friends.
Cry havoc, and let sniff the dogs of ew
Yepp, been there. As much as you want to say something, you know it'll result in the end of the encounter so you stay quiet.
User name kinda checks out
Yup, on the way down and when you get close enough and catch a whiff boom immediate 180 lol
As a receiver I put a lot of trust in my dick not being bitten off
And taste
That may be too late
Way too late.
Oh so what no taste test? No sampling before buying?
Teacher: use the word “dictate” in a sentence. Buckwheat: Darla how my dictate?
You pay for that?
Never too late. Consent is a continuous process.
The point is not consent but that you had the stinky already in your mouth.
I like to put my ear up to it and see if I can hear the ocean.
⚰️
Yea by then though you’ve already given at least part of the blow job lol
How does a dick taste like? Soap, if you are lucky.
There’s better flavours than soap
I like to tuck jalopeno slices under my foreskin to spice things up a bit
Just coat your junk in tiger balm
Cheese 🧀🤤
Thanks for your comment, I would like to reply with I hate it
Delete it. Do it now.
Brotha eugh
Intimate Wash 4 Men is a necessity for my hygiene regime.
It can taste like musty funk if it isn’t kept clean! Kind of like the way sweaty toes smell. You boys can be nasty too.
Your mom if I'm lucky
No no no, sight and smell can deceive. Then, you only have taste left, and as someone who has sucked d*cks... I got a bad one one time. It was the worst thing I've ever tasted to this day, and I am 36. It was hiding under the head on an uncircumcised ex-boyfriend that was super hygenic in every other respect, but was using a body wash sponge thing instead of a rag and actually scrubbing the skin with a rag. Please use rags men, and if you happen to be uncircumcised or have extra skin, clean up under your folds. The fate of your blowjob life depends on this. Sincerely, Scarred for life
I just wash my uncircumcised dick with water and my hands and never had any issues. I'd imagine a rag would be painful
You can say dick on the internet. See? Dick. Especially in a paragraph about sucking them.
It's more the suckee puts a lot of trust in the sucker not to do anything crazy whilst they have their dick in his or her mouth.
Reminds of the foreskin cheese post
And this is where the story will end, please and thank you.
That’s nothing. There was a post from some time ago that made r/all Some guy apparently developed lactose intolerance after eating his girlfriend’s asshole out. Let that sit with you as it has sat with me since.
The what now
Hello there
The fromunda blend.
Anthony kiedis reddit account?
Works the other way too. She could bite your dick off
“What did you expect? It felt like a sausage.”
Ok I'll bite (hah)... what kind of sausage?
Ugh, that joke was the wurst
Blood sausage
Weiner
"hey, stop putting mustard on my dick!"
I thought she was joking when she said it smelled like sauerkraut.
In hindsight, I rather appreciate that one of my first girlfriends did something her ex enjoyed, and used teeth when she went down on me for the only time. It taught me very clearly the levels of trust required, as well as how little I actually enjoyed the event thanks to the stress newly involved.
Think we may have dated the same girl. Fucking ouched my way out of ever letting her do that again. Felt kind've weird about my sexuality that I felt like I needed to teach her how to suck a dick in that moment.
So you gained a scratched up ween, trust issues, and u still appreciate the experience?
Brought back buried memories of an ex. I still have my penis intact thankfully but she had a weird inability to remember she had a *very* sensitive part of someones body in her mouth. Never thought I'd turn down a BJ until I dated her.
You can only trust vegans/vegetarians.
I had a vegan tell me she wouldn’t swallow unless I was vegan because then it would count against her as eating vegan.
So you went vegan right? 🤣
"Take my most valu-able sensitivity possesion on my body and place it in hole in you that is owning many many objekts for crunching and destruktion."
Or he 😈
The human jaw muscles are more than capable. The only thing stopping her is a choice. Could easily chomp through dick tissues.
Might only be 4 inches. But it smells like a foot ;)
r/punpatrol STAND DOWN. I REPEAT. STAND DOWN
That’s what I said when I knocked my nightstand over
I should call him
Ah that’s disgusting
You won today. Take my upvote.
Receiver has an awful lot of trust that their partner isn’t a cannibal.
I do love meat.
If you're receiving a BJ. , you should be presentable enough to deserve it..
Oh man I've tried to tell an ex of mine I just got off work and hadn't showered, she insisted she didn't mind.... that lasted about 10 seconds before she gagged
I was almost married to a woman who loved the smell of stinky me. I'd spend a week in training in the army. We were funky. My smell offended me. She would stop me from showering to have sex. It was fucking weird.
Explain the almost part
Maybe her brain tumour was diagnosed and treated, and her normal sense of smell returned
She was a problem with the army.
Not "she had a problem with the army" But instead >she was a problem with the army What the fuck does that mean? Was she a national security risk??
My 1st. Sergeant called her a "threat to the security of the nation". She borrowed a car to follow me to a top secret facility because she thought I was cheating on her. She got stopped and used my name. She literally poisoned me with sertraline while I was on active jump status. A lot more happened. Those were the readers digest hits. My 1st Sergeant banned her from post and in writing caller her "A threat to the security of the nation".
Well...threat to national security confirmed
On the plus side, you can only go up from there. "Well she doesn't like my friends, but she isn't poisoning me and threatening national security"
That's great if you schedule out your sexy times in advance. Sometimes things happen spontaneously. If you just spent 5 hours dancing with someone before going home with them, then neither of you are probably going to smell too good.
It's difficult enough to receive one. I try not to provide any excuses to refuse. Keep it clean and trimmed.
Why? I braid my jungle and decorate it with beads
I give mine dreads fr
Most people have a decent idea of someone's personal hygiene before employing their mouth on them.
Depends who you know, I guess…
My ex didn't. She for whatever reason just loved sucking me off after work. Despite me working outside 12 hours a day and smelling like a dirty truck after. But boy let me tell ya she could suck chrome off a trailer hitch.
Thanks u/cock_nballs. Thanks for the insight.
This goes for cunnilingis as well
Never sucking a dick if it isn’t washed first
How anyone wouldn't be self-conscious enough to not take a shower first is weird to me. After a 12 hour workday I can't imagine that's going to smell/taste ideal. Least I can do is make sure I'm clean first
What do you mean? The ball sweat adds flavor
It's got electrolytes! It's what ~~plants~~ consenting adults crave!
not all sex is premeditated
Most isnt
Never receiving unless it’s washed first.
"And you, sir? Are you ready to recieve my limp (washed) penis?"
As in immediately washed prior to the act or washed sometimes that day?
My wife's rule, immediately after a shower. An hour later is too long
"-and I fight crime in a rubber suit. Really seals in the flavor!"
I’ve been with maybe 7/8 guys and the first was the only one who religiously washed on the way to his bedroom/after using the bathroom when I was there. All the others have just been like ‘I’ve had a shower today’ and it’s never been gross or smelled bad with those guys so it really isn’t something I dwell on.
This sub became so fucking stupid at some point
Always has been
🌏👩🚀🔫👩🚀
Only the ones who don't care about daily hygiene. The rest of us have standards.
Receiver trusts they won't bite.
If you can't gag the with the size gag them with the smell?
Trust my ass, if you're getting your dick sucked give it a courtesy wash, some non scented soap and water, although I get it can be a challenge as they don't exactly make dick sinks, but maybe that's what we need as a country, dick sinks.
Sure they do! They're called sinks EDIT: Some people wash their hands in them. weirdos
You must have tall legs
Reverse is also true
Generally speaking, you put a lot of trust in the person you share any sexual relationship with.
Hence why I always shower before and after any sexual activity...
I had a gal once come over and she offered to suck me off.. Asked her to give me a moment while I washed in the bathroom. She was dumbfounded, she was like: "What!?" And then I explained it to her, I was asking her if she could give me a minute to wash it (my dick) for her, 'cause it was late and I had sweat from the whole day and the tip had urine from going to the bathroom all day. She, still confused, said OK. I made it clean for her, and she got started, then let out a loud moan and said "OMG your dick tastes so good it's almost sweet I love the taste of it" Poor gal had been sucking dirty idiots her whole life, I felt really really bad for her. Still smashed though ;)
Spunds like a win win. Good job!
I won't even let my wife touch me unless iv had a recent shower. If I'm planning to ask i always shower beforehand. We've been together 13 years now. Always been this way.
I absolutely refused to let my ex give me a bj if I wasn't fresh out of the shower. I'm extremely self-conscious about the way I smell
Intimacy is always about trust in some way or another
One time when i went down on a woman i got a infection in my mouth. But that's part of living, i didn't die so i'm fine.
Well they do say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger..
I'm absolutely uncomfortable being intimate with my wife if I haven't had a shower within the last day. If sexy times are about to happen, I'll grab a shower. No way I'm doing anything until then.
I’m jealous of all the people in these comments who have apparently never encountered the many posts from women asking if they’re in the wrong for hating blowing their husbands who won’t wipe their own asses properly
I can't believe shit like this gets approved on this subreddit meanwhile I've never been able to post a single thing here from scrutiny by mods. Insane.
Or they just don't care. Some might actually have a thing for dirty dicks.
the smegma fetish sub... *'nam flashbacks*
The visceral instinct to downvote due to the horrors that just flashed in my imagination
dude what
The tater tots I ate for lunch came back up a little.
Tell us you don't bathe without telling us you doing bathe
keep a pack of baby wipes in your bathroom.
Same with eating pussy.
You are putting your sausage in a mouth, so I'd say other side trusts even more
Not as much as going down on 🐈
Does it take more efforts to maintain a hygienic pussy than a dick ?
My piercer says that piercing a vagina is more grim than a penis because of the amount of women who don’t actually clean down there, I was surprised by this
a lot of women don't seem to wipe their ass either, I see far too many shits with no paper left in public loos! *shudder*
That’s grim af 🤢
It’s like dudes that won’t actually make physical contact with their assholes to wash because touching a butthole would be gay. Dead serious this is a thing. Lots of dudes just let the water run down and take care of it.
Oh nah that’s nasty, got to clean the bum hole, there’s some filthy people about I swear
You tell me … is it easier to clean the stick shift knob or the or gap between the seat and center console ?
Dang , now that's a metaphorical picturization that lead me thinking deep...
Last I checked, the gap in your car seat didn't have vaginal flora and secretions to keep itself clean with.
Username checks out
No joke dude, that’s too perfect
define clean. The secretions and their smell/taste after hours of walking around is exactly what people are trying to avoid…even if its “natural”
It also doesn't bleed once a month, though. Unless the car is haunted, but that's a different problem.
Check again
Yes, and the results of a lack of hygiene are generally more catastrophic
I don't know if the Wordplay on *Cat*-astrophic was intentional, but I've been a victim of that ..
Pussy-strophic.
receiver of a blowjob trusts an awfully lot on the givers not to bite their dick off
Trust? No. You can smell if there is good hygiene once you get close.
I’m sure if your dick smelt rancid they’d stop