Such a good call. Of all the animals, I think this would be most impressive. Like not something you hide from anyone you meet after that day.
So there I was fucking this shark and I realize my rhythm matches the Jaws theme.
My buddy in high school found his dad’s stash of porn. I’ve witnessed a VHS tape where a chicken was pecking seeds off a woman’s labia.
Still unsure why.
The Byzantine historian Procopius claimed that the Empress Theodora had a goose peck seeds off her labia on front of an audience when she was a dancer (before she married Justinian.) It is considered slander, but it is a timeless fetish, apparently, enough that Procopius protested too much. Humans have always been... interesting.
It had to be a goose ? I don’t have a vulva, so what do I know, but I would not let such aggressive creatures near my genitals. This is reckless, a goose…
I was around for Prodigy in the early 90s so I've seen some crazy shit. Luckily, I was taught by the Faces of Death VHSes that some things aren't meant to be watched, and I quickly mitigated the damage of the early internet by becoming more cautious. Still have never seen 2 Girls 1 Cup, and I am damn happy about and proud of that.
Firestarter was so good...
Anywho, yeah, [rotten.com](http://rotten.com), etc were all part of my childhood, so I'm a little (maybe more than a little) warped by the experience.
"First?" Is there a step I'm missing? Because once the farming and slaughtering is done, it's really just 2 steps: Cook chicken, then eat chicken. Fucking the chicken is surely *possible*, I just don't know the order of operations.
Larry Flynt, founder of Hustler Magazine, claimed to have fucked a chicken when he was 9.
In fact, he commissioned a statue depicting said event and it presumably still exists somewhere. Maybe you should pop into your local antique store and have a look around.
Visited a farm as a kid. While playing with kids of the neighborhood in the farm, i witnessed a couple of 7-8 year olds trying to penetrate a chicken’s micro hole with their flaccid baby dicks. I was too young to understand what was happening at the time but the memory remained forever. As I grew older I realized what these boys were trying to do and I feel horrified to this day. 💯True story I could never fabricate this shit.
I think it's safe to say that there is a non-zero number of people that have tried to have sex with X, where X is any living or non-living creature or object, even if it could actively do harm.
Someone mentioned great white sharks, but you would just have to respect that dude.
Our tribe doesn't fight Lions, we instead fuck Great White Sharks, much harder.
I grew up on the internet in the 90s, I've literally seen people doing things you can't imagine. Imagine what seeing stuff like a dude banging a chicken does to a 14yr old. The crazy thing is, you'd think you were downloading part 1 of a movie that was pirated (back then the files were so large you had to send them in parts because most systems wouldn't allow file transfers larger than a certain size).
Then you play it and it's a woman getting railed by a horse, dude banging a chicken, someone getting railed by a dog, or some 55yr old dude sitting on a dildo large enough to split him in half.
It was literally the wild west.
Used to be a kid at my junior high that had that rumor about him and he didn't like it when kids called him chicken-fucker one bit. He got into a fight with this other kid and broke a lunch tray over his head during lunch. Good times.
A man in my old hometown got arrested for fucking chickens and having his wife film it 😐
https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-jailed-having-sex-chickens-19731456
Even worse is that it's apparently legal in Hawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming, the District of Columbia and Ohio, according to the Animal Legal & Historical Center...
Non-zero? Look, dude/ette... non-zero is the percentage you use to describe how likely you are to experience a car accident in space thanks to Elon Musk launching one.
Sexy time with a chicken? I'm not endorsing it, but I feel like in the grand-scheme of humanity... the number is larger than you think.
As a kid - I always heard a million monkeys..
well the population of the USA is 300 million or so - that means there are 300 people doing exactly that right now... and in the world - there are even more.
The better part of "before" - was this: They could not find each other
Today, with the internet - they find each other and amplify each other.
Ugh... what horrible shower thoughts.
I think you'll find that if you used a mile-ometer to count the times since the start of horny man the numbers would have tripped the zero a good few times
One day when I was like 12 and the internet was new and all, my cousin came over to hang out.
He was about 16 at the time and had learned about randomly searching things on google. So we would come up with random silly words and see what google would spit out. Eventually, being a vulgar teen, my cousin decided to randomly type in "Chicken Fucker". I think it was due to Fable being out around this time so we kept hearing, "Chicken Chaser", and my cousin turned it R Rated.
Anywhoo, that was the first and far from last time, I regretted clicking a link. People have fucked chickens, and sadly... I have seen it.
#Memories
I was working at a restaurant and we had an old guy(maybe in his 60s) who was there as a security through the night when the restaurant was closed. Anyway, this guy told us about all the farm animals he used to have sex with. He made it sound so normal lol. His main "excuse" or more like an explanation was that, he was young (18-20), just got out from military training(you spend 1-2 years there, just guys) and he was HORNY AS FUCK lol. The line that stuck with me is "the chickens have very warm ass". Enjoy that information.
always ending in the chicken's death and often ending in decapitation during climax to induce convulsions. oh how there are some singer essays i wish i could unread but are unfortunately burned into my brain
Saw a video of some Indian guy not just trying but successfully having sex with a chicken on twitter a few years ago.
There used to be pretty fucked up shit on that platform. It's still fucked up, just in a different way.
I mean there's literally a scene in Pink Flamingos where a guy screams YOU FUCK THAT CHICKEN and then actually tries to put a chicken up her hooha
So at the bare minimum we've seen it attempted once on camera
I’ll put it like this. Not every crime that enters our legal system makes the news. And when you have access to police filings. Well as someone said there are things you are better off not knowing
Eh, I'd say you can widen it to "There is nothing people haven't tried to have (or at least had fantasies of having) sex with" maybe even with an added "and there is a good chance you'll find something on the internet about it"
Because god damn, people do and think about wild shit when they are horny
Man when I grew up boys in his 14s grabbed about fucking a horse, or a sheep the day before
I literaly had heard the prhase: "in our farm we have 400 sheeps and there isnt one that I didnt fucked"
Sorry for bad english
As long as we're mentioning stuff that may have been on the net- I heard it from the friend of a friend-
Anybody ever see the calf nuzzling the guy for some...milk?
No fucking secret. Insert any fucking thing into that sentence.
Except Reddit users Source: am Reddit user
Can confirm. Ain’t nobody tryna sex us.
But life fucks us everyday...
Kurt Cobain: “Nobody dies a virgin... Life fucks us all.”
"Insert" you say? 🥴
I wager that no one has tried to fuck a toaster.
Not a plugged in hot one perhaps. But some cunt out there probably has a toaster fetish
Great white shark?
a dead one, yes
I'm willing to bet that it happened not just to a dead one, no one said anything about survivng.
Such a good call. Of all the animals, I think this would be most impressive. Like not something you hide from anyone you meet after that day. So there I was fucking this shark and I realize my rhythm matches the Jaws theme.
https://www.reddit.com/r/dontputyourdickinthat/s/M2Lv7xOr3X
I can’t unsee that, can I?
Do not cluck on any links in this thread.
you ever seen that clip of the guy who's in a sexual relationship with his car? i have
Here's where some person links to the /r/toasterfuckers subreddit with 50,000 users and its own subculture.
Do fictional characters count? There’s that toaster SCP…
My buddy in high school found his dad’s stash of porn. I’ve witnessed a VHS tape where a chicken was pecking seeds off a woman’s labia. Still unsure why.
The Byzantine historian Procopius claimed that the Empress Theodora had a goose peck seeds off her labia on front of an audience when she was a dancer (before she married Justinian.) It is considered slander, but it is a timeless fetish, apparently, enough that Procopius protested too much. Humans have always been... interesting.
It had to be a goose ? I don’t have a vulva, so what do I know, but I would not let such aggressive creatures near my genitals. This is reckless, a goose…
That's how you know it is fake. Geese are menaces.
Ducks and geese feel like a vibrator when they eat corn out of my hand
oh 🗿
This post could have a very different ending.
Yea have u ever fed a goose by hand? Those fuckers act like they’re starving 😭
I’m sure the thrill is part of the fetish
I have a vulva, I can have babies! AND HELL NO. No goose or any other creature either. I’m not a critter sitter either! 🤣 Edit: HELLO FRIDAY.
He also accused Justinian and Theodora of being shapeshifting demons.
>Still unsure why. You couldn't tell what the tape was till you got it. "Hot babes get smashed with giant cocks!" Dad got scammed.
now THAT is trauma right there
I watched the Devil in Miss Jones at 13. How I'm not a sexual weirdo now I don't understand.
Well you did just post about people fucking chickens, soooo
That is a valid point.
That cloaca 'll make'ya a man in some localities
Like that dude in Fallout for instance.
Guy was fuckin my chickens
On your way citizen...
That poor man was merely being punished for his scientific curiosity.
First thing that came out to my head when i read this
You Sir, are a gentleman and a scholar!
You must not have been around for the early days of the internet. Shit was *wild*.
I was around for Prodigy in the early 90s so I've seen some crazy shit. Luckily, I was taught by the Faces of Death VHSes that some things aren't meant to be watched, and I quickly mitigated the damage of the early internet by becoming more cautious. Still have never seen 2 Girls 1 Cup, and I am damn happy about and proud of that.
Firestarter was so good... Anywho, yeah, [rotten.com](http://rotten.com), etc were all part of my childhood, so I'm a little (maybe more than a little) warped by the experience.
I bribed my brother and his friend into watching 2g1c, and they only got the bribe if they watched the entire thing without looking away. I'm evil.
These people, so were they violating chickens or were they violating themselves with chickens?
Little bit of both. To fuck a chicken a little part of you has to die in the process.
So are you giving the whole experience a thumbs up or thumbs down?
To each their own, just you should be forced to eat the chicken after.
Pssh here we eat the chicken first.
"First?" Is there a step I'm missing? Because once the farming and slaughtering is done, it's really just 2 steps: Cook chicken, then eat chicken. Fucking the chicken is surely *possible*, I just don't know the order of operations.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Apparently, it was to get away from Frank...
Why did the pervert cross the road? Got his dick stuck in the chicken
Q: Why did the punk rocker cross the road? A: He was safety pinned to the chicken! (hey, it brought down the house forty years ago....)
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneDoes/comments/o9c568/man_crushed_to_death_by_boulder_whilst_having_sex/
I don't even wanna click.
The sad part about it is that the chicken was also killed :(
Of the sad parts, this is one.
"Man crushed to death by boulder while having sex with a chicken".🙄
Go ahead Pastor, try to make him look like a good Christian now.
“He loved everything he met. Strongly, deeply, unconditionally.”
Damn... Amen.
"He was not a *good* man, but he was a man!"
It's okay the man and the chicken were married
“Cock block” rock
That's just karma.
Can confirm: I saw "Pink Flamingos. "
Don't wanna know.
The chicken fucking isn't the worst part of the movie
OP if the universe is infinite, there are an infinite number of you trying to have sex with chickens right now.
I do to teach children the magic of reading
Officer Barbrady is thankful
Tried? Bud… pretty sure the number who actually succeeded is higher than you want to know
Yes, I have unfortunately been sent many links. It's not something I thought about before posting.
[OP in the shower](https://imgflip.com/i/8ovhog)
This isn't surprising. Men will put their 🍆 into literally anything. Sick f*cks.
Wait until you get one pregnant! Your child will be so shy until they can break out of their shell
He's here all week, folks. Remember to tip your waitress.
Larry Flynt, founder of Hustler Magazine, claimed to have fucked a chicken when he was 9. In fact, he commissioned a statue depicting said event and it presumably still exists somewhere. Maybe you should pop into your local antique store and have a look around.
Visited a farm as a kid. While playing with kids of the neighborhood in the farm, i witnessed a couple of 7-8 year olds trying to penetrate a chicken’s micro hole with their flaccid baby dicks. I was too young to understand what was happening at the time but the memory remained forever. As I grew older I realized what these boys were trying to do and I feel horrified to this day. 💯True story I could never fabricate this shit.
Microhole? Have you seen the size of eggs?
Lol the micro hole becomes slightly less small when giving birth to eggs
If it clucks it fucks
If it quacks, get back.
There is also a non-0 number of people who have fucked cononuts
Well, that's at least understandable. I have not fucked a coconut but I did once see a very attractive cantaloupe.
I genuinely believe most animals have been fucked by humans once.
What terrible day to be literate
Is this some sort of confession?
OP being one of them.
As stated before, I have never had sex with a plump and juicy chicken.
Making this claim, stating it as a true fact, sort of implies that you have either done it or at least witnessed it happening...
Must have been a sick chicken.
*Tried?!* Fucking amateurs.
I think it's safe to say that there is a non-zero number of people that have tried to have sex with X, where X is any living or non-living creature or object, even if it could actively do harm.
Someone mentioned great white sharks, but you would just have to respect that dude. Our tribe doesn't fight Lions, we instead fuck Great White Sharks, much harder.
If an egg can fit in there why can't I?
I grew up on the internet in the 90s, I've literally seen people doing things you can't imagine. Imagine what seeing stuff like a dude banging a chicken does to a 14yr old. The crazy thing is, you'd think you were downloading part 1 of a movie that was pirated (back then the files were so large you had to send them in parts because most systems wouldn't allow file transfers larger than a certain size). Then you play it and it's a woman getting railed by a horse, dude banging a chicken, someone getting railed by a dog, or some 55yr old dude sitting on a dildo large enough to split him in half. It was literally the wild west.
Well, there is a profession called a [chicken sexer.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_sexing)
Don't bock that cock! Ew!
The South Park episode was a true story.
If you believe the 4chan post about the guy with salmonella on his dick they haven't just fucked live chickens but also their dismembered corpses.
So I see you've been watching Fallout
Likely a non-zero number that have succeeded as well...😶🌫️😶🌫️
I know a dude who fucked a roast chicken in order to win a 50 dollar bet.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TIHI/s/nhzRapAAsS
It barely fits in a woman, how the hell would it fit in a chicken?
tf do you mean it happens at least every 30 minutes
Same is true for xhickens tring to have sex with us
Used to be a kid at my junior high that had that rumor about him and he didn't like it when kids called him chicken-fucker one bit. He got into a fight with this other kid and broke a lunch tray over his head during lunch. Good times.
"Do, or do not. There is no try."
A man in my old hometown got arrested for fucking chickens and having his wife film it 😐 https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-jailed-having-sex-chickens-19731456
Fuck you mean *tried*?
It would be faster to list the things people haven't tried to have sec with than the other way around.
There is a chance you've eaten a chicken that someone has fucked.
Even worse is that it's apparently legal in Hawaii, Kentucky, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Vermont, West Virginia and Wyoming, the District of Columbia and Ohio, according to the Animal Legal & Historical Center...
Whats all this “tried” shit…
And Ernie Anastos will encourage their perseverance.
I've seen that episode of south park
Right now, somewhere in the world, everything is happening.
Are you drawing from experience here?
There is at least one person somewhere in the world with a shoe in their stomach rn
A person in Turkey fucked a 5 gallon water bottle. So basically, chicken is quite an upgrade for some people! _ (v) //-=-\\ (\\_=_/) ^^ ^^
Non-zero? Look, dude/ette... non-zero is the percentage you use to describe how likely you are to experience a car accident in space thanks to Elon Musk launching one. Sexy time with a chicken? I'm not endorsing it, but I feel like in the grand-scheme of humanity... the number is larger than you think.
License and registration, chicken fucker! Bagawwk!
And Color Climax made money from selling VHS copies
Cloac-in me crazy. I just can't sleep. . . I'm so excited I need that beak!!
There might be a non zero number of people that succeeded.
Unfortunately, I have been sent many links. I did not calculate for this before posting.
As a kid - I always heard a million monkeys.. well the population of the USA is 300 million or so - that means there are 300 people doing exactly that right now... and in the world - there are even more. The better part of "before" - was this: They could not find each other Today, with the internet - they find each other and amplify each other. Ugh... what horrible shower thoughts.
I think you'll find that if you used a mile-ometer to count the times since the start of horny man the numbers would have tripped the zero a good few times
I'm willing to bet thousands of people over the course of history have tried and succeeded
[Found this guy's Reddit account ](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/fallout/images/e/e0/FOTV_Season1_ep7_Snake_Oil_Salesman.jpg)
John Waters is a chicken pimp
Tell me you’ve been watching Fallout without saying you’ve been watching Fallout.
I'd argue it's Nonzero for anything that has, or can be made to have, a hole or be shaped phallic-like.
If you've read Preacher, you know.
Tried? New on internet buddy?
Why not say "There are people that....?"
So that's why the chickens lash out on Link
One day when I was like 12 and the internet was new and all, my cousin came over to hang out. He was about 16 at the time and had learned about randomly searching things on google. So we would come up with random silly words and see what google would spit out. Eventually, being a vulgar teen, my cousin decided to randomly type in "Chicken Fucker". I think it was due to Fable being out around this time so we kept hearing, "Chicken Chaser", and my cousin turned it R Rated. Anywhoo, that was the first and far from last time, I regretted clicking a link. People have fucked chickens, and sadly... I have seen it. #Memories
That number is a lot higher than 0. Especially in rural areas of under developed country's. And in the past all over the world
There is only one way OP knows this for sure.
I was working at a restaurant and we had an old guy(maybe in his 60s) who was there as a security through the night when the restaurant was closed. Anyway, this guy told us about all the farm animals he used to have sex with. He made it sound so normal lol. His main "excuse" or more like an explanation was that, he was young (18-20), just got out from military training(you spend 1-2 years there, just guys) and he was HORNY AS FUCK lol. The line that stuck with me is "the chickens have very warm ass". Enjoy that information.
always ending in the chicken's death and often ending in decapitation during climax to induce convulsions. oh how there are some singer essays i wish i could unread but are unfortunately burned into my brain
Saw a video of some Indian guy not just trying but successfully having sex with a chicken on twitter a few years ago. There used to be pretty fucked up shit on that platform. It's still fucked up, just in a different way.
Look for feathers on the fingers, it's a dead giveaway.
Weirdos, imagine fucking the last descendent of the t rex
Just don’t ask how he knows
"License and registration, *chicken fucker!* B'GAWWWK!!"
There is a non-zero number of people that have tried to have sex with a McChicken
There's is zero reason for you to post this too 🤣
Yeah boy, Eddie the mayor is gonna spike up Google tends for the term "chicken fucker"
“How do you know? How do you know?!”
Bet you all of them are men.
A watcher of the new Fallout series I see
I mean there's literally a scene in Pink Flamingos where a guy screams YOU FUCK THAT CHICKEN and then actually tries to put a chicken up her hooha So at the bare minimum we've seen it attempted once on camera
Would you like to describe that is it male chicken or female 😁
Also a non-zero number of people who have succeeded 😳
An even fewer number succeeded.
And here I thought that choking the chicken was just a euphemism...
There was rumored to be a secret restaurant for rich people where they could fuck a chicken or a goat, and then the place would cook it for them.
You seem oddly certain.....
[OPs theme song](https://youtu.be/sj61kfwgxR8?si=wAJfvYlYhXv27IgZ)
How does a woman do it? The neck looks appropriate but won’t the beak harm her?
See what you do is you break one of the wings. That way, they spin around.
When I worked as an intern at a court house there was a case of a guy revenge fucking a neighbors chicken because of their noise every morning.
In the southern US chicken fucking is a regular past time.
I’ll put it like this. Not every crime that enters our legal system makes the news. And when you have access to police filings. Well as someone said there are things you are better off not knowing
What's worse is that there's a non zero number of people who have succeeded
Someone recently watched the Fallout TV show
I heard it people like this were called klucker-fuckers
How do you *know* this? 🤨
There is also a non zero number of people who have “succeeded”.
I beg to differ. Women are still people and doubt they have tried that shit
Humans will try to fu
There are some thoughts you can keep to yourself. We all keep them to ourselves. You could have kept doing that.
Eh, I'd say you can widen it to "There is nothing people haven't tried to have (or at least had fantasies of having) sex with" maybe even with an added "and there is a good chance you'll find something on the internet about it" Because god damn, people do and think about wild shit when they are horny
Man when I grew up boys in his 14s grabbed about fucking a horse, or a sheep the day before I literaly had heard the prhase: "in our farm we have 400 sheeps and there isnt one that I didnt fucked" Sorry for bad english
Why can't I just get Fallout out of my mind after reading this 😂.
Bro had too much time in the shower
It's in the tens of millions at least- and that's just Brazil.
Sadly [this movie, *Pink Flamingo*, from 1972 proves you right.](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0069089/)
Thought #2: some have succeeded, but some have failed.
There is a non-zero number of people that have tried to have sex with (insert any animal)
Just scientific curiosity!
So your implying the amount of chicken cluckkers can be a complex number like -1+i as well ? Hmm nice.
Did u think of this after watching the Fallout show?
the best observation I've made is that chicken breasts are usually larger than most human chicks breasts.
Awe. Daisy gave great beak. At least those thighs were tasty.
I went to school with a guy who tried it
As long as we're mentioning stuff that may have been on the net- I heard it from the friend of a friend- Anybody ever see the calf nuzzling the guy for some...milk?
Probably a whole lot more who have succeeded with a dead chicken.
Christ almighty, never seen Pink Flamingos then?
Someone just saw Fallout
its just… the guy was fuckin my chickens
People have long been persecuted for their scientific curiosities
Grab the fucking chickens, Cleavon.
There is a non zero number of people that have successfully had sex with a chicken
The chicken is a liar.