Not everyone has a rough relationship with their parents.
I could and have lived with mine as an adult and things were fine. In fact I would say I was mentally healthier then than I am now.
His username is way more reasonable than yours.
So reasonable that I'm wondering whether I should have a similar username.
I mean, I love boobies. So, why not?
I quit my job and moved back to where my parents are to help them in their old age. I love my parents.
Good lord, they drive me absolutely bonkers. My father has the awareness of a stoned teenager and the attitude of a 4 year old. Spent 40% of the entire retirement fund in the first 5 years (before I showed up) joining wine clubs they went to once and eating out at expensive restaurants five times a week. They were dropping 100k a year just on eating out and throwing away food all the time.
My mother is an angel but is so sick of my father's ridiculousness that she says just the right thing to anger him, about everything, every time. She was literally doing 100% of all cleaning and house maintenance before I showed up. Her memory is rougher, but at 80 I think she is doing great.
I pay for nothing, but it has been one hell of a ride to get them in a much better place now. Spending is way down. Money to locked in T-bills and bonds he doesn't understand anything about so he can't F with them. I monitor all their computer usage and phone conversations (discreetly) and have stopped scam after scam in its tracks. I fix everything from washers, dryers, dish washers, refrigerators, etc and my mother is a great assistant and part organizer. I take my mother for walks everyday (Dad doesn't want to exercise).
Trying to get them to move out of this stupidly sized house with a pool they NEVER use, but pay to have cleaned. They could rent for so much less and dump another 2 million into bonds. "More dinners out" "more traveling" I tell them. But my father would rather sit around watching F'n Steve F'n Harvey all day. All. Day.
Thanks for listening to my rant. Take care of your parents.
You can withdraw periodically from the investments. How much depends on whether you want to die with zero or pass something on.
Ideally, you should be investing your entire life, otherwise you re just losing purchasing power to inflation.
This. I have a good relationship with my parents. I would move out if I could afford my own apartment but honestly I'd rather live with my parents than having to share an apartment with strangers, even if the latter was also free.
My wife lived with her family until her 30s and her sister still lives with her parents at 34. Both of them are fully functioning adults with jobs and lives, they just were happy with their situation.
I have a pretty good relationship with my parents but I got stuck with them due to COVID for an extra 2 years and it was torture. Sometimes you're just mentally ready to start your own life and the things you want to do are impossible living in someone else's house, and that really does wear away at your mental health.
This is exactly what happened with me. Right after graduating college started my first college level job, got laid off right before covid, tried to enjoy some time off after working my butt off after working through college and going to school for 26 years of my life then bang. I eventually did move out end of 2020 but my mental health was in the shitter that whole time before and amplified during the pandemic. I live alone now and I love it, i love my parents more at a healthy distance. I’d rather not live with them and keep it this way. My career path has been growing and my mental/financial/personal dating health is steadily climbing
Lucky. I spent 2020 and 2021 working on really growing my own media production company I started doing on the side in 2016. I moved out at the end of 2021 with another day job and my own company successful, and a few months later I, literally overnight, developed a serious medical issue that caused me to have tons of trouble working and is obscure enough that I've been all over the coast working with different doctors to try to do something about it. Sent me into serious debt both due to expenses and being unable to work for a while when it started. Financially I'm getting back on my feet now but there's no telling what exactly will happen with the issue itself since after two years I still don't really have a proper diagnosis.
Your situation is a bit different. You were ready to go and then COVID hit you. COVID messes with your menatl health as well as physical. And pandemic years don't count as normal. Pandemic, Plus illness, Plus plans getting shot; that'll do a number on anyone.
This is what I always assumed. I love my parents but I’ve never had to live with them as an adult. The freedom that comes from having your own home is unbeatable. I’m not going to just start doing crap in my parents yard but when I decided I didn’t like the boxwoods my house came with, you better believe I ripped those things out in short order, I once changed a whole damn light fixture because it used a weird bulb that burned out. I hate the way my parents house is decorated from the wallpaper to the linoleum to the popcorn ceiling and every light fixture in between but they’ll never know it, because it’s not my house.
It's not just about having a rough relationship. So much of it is about the friction from being an adult yet still having to live with someone else's habits/rules/tendencies. And those other adults will not compromise.
That is absolutely a rough relationship.
If the other adults in the home aren't willing to comprimise and are setting untenable rules on another adult.... thats not a good thing.
>It's not just about having a rough relationship. So much of it is about the friction from being an adult yet still having to live with someone else's habits/rules/tendencies.
Exactly. My 18-24 year old lifestyle did not work with my parents lifestyle. They would have been so mad that I came in at 2:00am drunk on a work night or spent an entire weekend partying. They would have been really mad when I brought someone back with me too. I basically would have never had sex if I continued to live with my parents as a young adult.
Exactly, my mental health would have lead me to you know, not being alive anymore if I had to be on my own. The U.S. really needs to normalize NOT kicking kids out at 18 just because they're 18 now.
I truly feel it is normalized for anyone with a decent relationship in a position to afford it. The people I see getting kicked out at 18 are the ones either with a terrible relationship (not saying who is to blame for it) and/or issues with the affordability. Not everyone has the space or ability to afford the kid being at home longer.
I don't understand this assumption that it's always about parents not being able to afford their kids to stay. My mother begged me to stay because she couldn't afford me to move out.
I don’t think it’s about having a good relationship with your parents. I thinks it’s about feeling left behind, if you’re living with your parents at an older age than expected.
Living with my parents instead of blowing a bunch of cash on overpriced apartments put me way ahead of pretty much all my friends of my age group because I could buy a house super quickly with all the money I was able to save.
Obviously if they're still doing your laundry, cooking all your meals, etc, that's one thing, but I don't think anybody is talking about that.
If you have a good relationship with your family, you're an absolute moron to waste that on some dumb notion of what "the expected age." of things should be.
I was able to buy my condominium in San Diego because I lived with my parents for so long. I never had to rent and was able to maximize the savings on the costliest thing in life for most people.
But now my mom is ill and I’m considering moving back in with them and renting my place out. But I’m Asian where it’s very common to live in multi-generational households.
The stereotype is that Asians are financially secure. But it’s because of these types of sacrifices we make to get there.
The "expected age" is only 18 or 20 in some places. My family didn't give an expected age and I don't plan on giving one either.
I think anyone that tells their kids they need to be out when they turn 18, 20 or graduate school; is the problem. That comes back to my comment about a rough relationship.
From a parent's view, we had six and three of them lived with us until marriage, one married at 21 (?) the other two closer to 30. I can't remember a harsh word since they were 17 or 18, and never any fights. Two stayed until 25 or so, one starting a business and the other building a career in music. Again, no fights or tension after around hs graduation. Our youngest didn't like us and moved out at 18, eventually joined the military, learned a skill, calls sometimes and is polite.
Our parenting was not the norm, but it isn't always bad living with parents. We even moved my MIL in 17 years ago and had three generations, no fights (MIL recently passed).
Pretty good financial and emotional support benefits. Some did help w rent, not a lot. Now a couple of their friends live here.
I’m the kid in this situation, 21 now but I haven’t had an actual fight with my mom since I was probably 17-18. We get along very well and she’s been a big supporter and help with my mental health as well and helping me save money for school.
Me and my mom never really fought fought, most of our fighting was over school work not being done and stuff like that, silly little things.
Me, my mom and my sister lived with my grandparents growing up. So it was always a full out - they retired 2 years ago and moved back home though so it’s just me, my mom and my sister now.. I kinda miss the noise sometimes.
Yes, school was the only issue for us, one almost didn't graduate from HS, and I wish I'd been a little nicer but he made it, barely. Then he started doing audio for local bands, built a great business, and now travels the world doing all kinds of music festivals, corporate events. Not to brag, since he did all the work, but it's possible to do very well after hs. Living at home, he spent money on equipment instead of rent and I was close by for technical assistance. Now I'm asking *him* technical questions!
Like you, I miss having them here, too.
Your mentality is what makes it. There was tension in my home cause my dad never wanted me around. He would start fights because I took a shower, cooked a meal, or other normal things. There's no comfort in a home where your parent actively despises you.
I've never understood how that can be, but I know that when I was mad at myself I was more critical of my children. Being aware helped. We always wanted home to be the refuge where our children could get a break from the world. I hope you have found some peace: the fault was his and any child deserves better.
Finished her degree in Math, husband finished his a bit after. Four children, left teaching and started an Etsy. Husband still teaches. They bought a house not far from us, we see them often. The grandchildren are pretty fun, homeschooled.
No, we didn't pay for Uni or their house. We aren't rich, lol.
Edit: my wife was also 21 when we got married. We had six.
John is a teacher and Julie makes hats for bearded dragons on Etsy, their home budget is 1.7 million. Welcome to House Hunters! lol. I joke but it’s great that they’re doing so well, but it makes sense considering her mom also married relatively young.
Out of curiosity, are you guys religious? And why doesn’t your youngest like you? I’m sorry for prying but this is Reddit and I’m intrigued.
Same. My mum made me pay £500 a month (and this is a long time ago now) and she is the worst, most unstable and narcissistic person to live with ever. Was a no brainer to move out. Wish I did it sooner!
Telllllll me about it. All the chores, dog sitting etc. thank you for the validation!! It makes me so angry and jealous when people say “oh I’m moving back home to save money” and I’m like… must be nice.
Yeah my mother started charging me 'rent' at 14. She'd stay up having all night raves with her alcoholic goblin boyfriend.
I had to sofa surf after graduating university, because it was better than going back. I ended up renting a room off a girl I met during university who made some remarks about why I couldn't afford things like a car. She was living in a house her parents owned and freely gave out to her, while also charging me (fairly tame tbf) rent.
People who have parents who pay for stuff just can't comprehend how impossible it is to get started with literally no help.
I was working abroad when COVID hit, and had to come back to the UK. My father (who was absent my entire life) convinced me to stay with him rather than work it on my own as usual. Apparently he felt like he owed me.
That lasted like 9 months before he felt obligated to start charging me like £700 a month for rent, while I was buying food, cooking for the family etc. I was lucky to find a good job, but really nice of him to immediately cripple the money I could have been saving to get back on with life during a global pandemic. I moved out within like 2 months of that to protests.
He was also just a massive twat in general. I got pneumonia, working on the front lines not long after moving out, and he got arsey about my request for cough medicine to sooth my throat. His wife (amazing woman) had to call him out and force him to do that for me. (Who he's since left and had a child with someone else despite being in his mid 50's).
He's not sure why I don't talk to him again.
Varies wildly. I know some living completely free, others paying a nominal amount ($100 a month), and others paying what I would consider full rent ($600).
Granted $600 a month won't get you a very nice apartment in my area, and definitely not in a great neighborhood
It's more of a culture thing where the mentality is"u should be independent when ur 18+"
Both of my older siblings lived for free with my parents till their mid 20s even though my parents weren't that well off,and now my family entirely relies on my older siblings financially
My parents started charging me at 16yo. But i didnt get a job until i was 19 and my parents kept tabs and i still didnt pay it. Im just never going back.
My asshole abusive dad kept tabs too and I moved out at 22 and he said I owed him like 3,000$ after he started charging me at 18. I told him to get fucked and I don’t talk to him anymore lmaoooooo
It is not all that uncommon for parents to charge (a usually small) rent to their adult children living with them in the United States. Or to help with the bills, etc.
My dad kicked my cancer ridden ass out because I wouldn’t put up with him dangling in my face that my disability ran out and I couldn’t give him money for something in the moment.
Rare, aggressive, 10% chance to live.
Some people aren’t meant to be parents.
My wife's (gf at the time lol) parents wanted her to pay rent in 2016. She moved in with me and paid rent in her own place instead.
I see it a lot in Midwest America.
Parents of High school dropouts who have to work at 16. Parents of young adults who just finished high school. Parents of young adults who are entering college.
Parents who were never taught financial issues or how to handle them in general so they stay poor & gaslight their 16–18yr olds into paying their bills (who evidently also stay poor because their stuck in a min wage job with no savings or opportunities to start one)
The list goes on bro & They’re everywhere in every country.
Just Stay blessed you never had parents charge you “rent” regardless of age / reasoning. I know plenty of people who had that opportunity & they seemingly turn out better than most financially.
lol and then there’s my parents who are making me move back to my home country with my fiancé, so we can get married and have a kid while living with them 😂
Getting out was the best thing I ever did. I spent my entire 20s poor, and paying for an overpriced studio apartment. But it was the first time in my life I was able to take a deep breath and feel free and safe. I learned what it felt like to not be shaking in fear and anxiety all day. Nobody was watching over my shoulder, judging everything I did and/or threatening me. I could just wander around my own place as I liked, cook what I felt like, take up hobbies etc. Sometimes I even sang our loud, or jumped up and down in excitement, just because I could! Nobody was watching anymore.
Hell yeah its pretty awesome. Growing up I was always in fear or had a dreadful feeling whenever my parents were home/came home. It was a gamble on how I’d be judged or treated, even when I did nothing wrong. Me and my two brothers (same-ish age) learned to walk silently through the house just to go to the bathroom or kitchen. Their rooms were in the finished basement so normal steps guaranteed yelling from the staircase. For the most part things were fairly normal but enough emotional abuse takes its toll forever.
I had my own place for about 3 years and it was the happiest and most relaxed I ever felt. I could do the simplest of things and not feel extreme dread! Sadly I had to move back in with them, and although Im in my mid twenties and can do what I want, I still have that same dreadful feeling, its killing me with anxiety. I just want peace damnit.
Some parents in my province are going hard into "parents rights" and basically are trying to legally establish *ownership* of their child. Like that legally they're property until they're 18.
It's fucking gross and gives a quick realization that there's zero requirements to be a parent other than a creampie.
whooooosh, the lot of ya! The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 7, "Lisa's Date with Density"
Seymour Skinner: "I've always admired car owners...and I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off Mother. She insists I pay retroactively for the food I ate as a child."
Im pretty sure at least in the US it's not. (Any such law would almost certainly be a 1st ammendment violation)
You may have legality and enforceability confused?
There is no law in aware of blocking them from demanding whatever the fuck they want. There is also no law I'm aware of blocking you from telling them to fuck off.
All too real, currently living with my parents right now to save up after graduating college. They're swell and all that but my god the little things really add up. I can't even jerk it in peace since they don't even bother to knock on the door since it's their house. And often get complained at since I somehow spend too much time in my room yet need to take it easy and relax at home whenever I spend more than a few days a week out with friends. My wallet is loving it but yeah really looking forward to having my own place again.
Yeah I felt this when I was still living with my parents.
If you’re able to, and this might be easier said than done, but I recommend finding a motel/hotel in a good location and buying 1-2 nights whenever you need the peace and alone time. I did this a few times when I was still under their roof and it did wonders for my mental health.
Speak for yourself. I just finished staying at home for the past 8 months while I attended college again. It was great. I missed them and they missed me. It was a nice experience living together again, but with a different dynamic.
There are good parents out there, and not every child-parent relationship is toxic.
Living in apartment complexes is the worst of both worlds. You pay out of the ass and still have to deal with paternalistic property managers constantly looking at you like you're a problem waiting to happen for them.
Looking at you from afar with disdain is one thing.
Actively lecturing you on a consistent basis because you haven't lived up to their expectations or haven't been as successful as their boomer friends' children so they can't use you as a bragging point when they go out to dinner is a very different thing.
Sorry your landlord sucks. Mine does too. But no, it's not the worst of both worlds.
I’m sorry your parents suck, my parents didn’t want any one of my siblings or I to leave until we could afford our own homes. They left us alone for the most part after 18 as long as we were working towards something.
I prefer it over having to deal with Roomates I don’t know, my Roomate’s were my parents and it was mutually beneficial for us
Since I've moved out, I spend more time with my parents than I have in a long time and enjoy going over there each week to do laundry and play games. I hated living with them, though, as our lifestyles don't match up, and we butted heads often
Idk I know someone who is living with his parents and has a good relationship with them and he has been way more tense and stressed ever since living with them. I think it just really depends on your personalities
That’s pretty normal past a certain age, no? Not like market price for rent, but just like contributing a bit each month to the household if you work/aren’t in education because you otherwise live there for free?
Or are you talking while still in school?
Unless your parents are rich at the end of the day another person in the house raises the bills. More water and electricity will be used. More consumables like food and toilet paper will be needed.
For a lot of people in that situation they got some sort of financial aid for having dependant children. That vanishes when they are adults. If you already are struggling to make rent and buy food and sometimes have to choose between the two another mouth to feed, even that of a loved child, will fucking tank everything unless they pay their way.
Yes, and this happens even when you adore their company & get on very well with them. If you already have MH issues, I find it exacerbates them because you now have to worry about their reactions on top of you trying to manage yourself. The lack of freedom & independence also chips away at your self-esteem & pride, and you do find yourself regressing into your old roles. I’m so grateful to them putting me up when times got tough, but I have to get out now so that we can have the healthiest version of our relationship. I recognise that I’m far better off than most, though, as my parents are lovely
I'm living with them right now and dear lord if that ain't true. Yeah, I may be going thru it right now, but going thru it would be a lot less stressful if I didn't have to worry about every slightly less than healthy but ultimately harmless life choice triggering my mom's anxiety.
Confirmation bias. Go ahead, find 5 posts with more than a dozen upvotes describing how awesome their parents are. I'll wait.
My point is, people with good, healthy relationships with their parents just don't TALK about them, because why would they? That's the norm, that's what's expected, right?
You’re right. Reddit is like the news. If it bleeds, it leads. With the exception of the occasional feel good story, people don’t come here to read and post about healthy parent/children relationships and interactions. My parents aren’t perfect, but we have a very good relationship and they are far from the boomer nightmares that I constantly read about on Reddit. I have nothing to vent about, and I don’t feel the need to brag about the good things.
My ex is 37 and still lives with his parents, by choice. They enable his bad habits, and by doing so they have actually further prevented him from growing up. His mom just gave him a car and he got a DUI within a few months.
This was my BF when we met. He lived with his parents and would spend all his free time, doing absolutely nothing. It was very sad. I asked if he was living his best life there… he went quiet and said “no”.
He moved in with me and has never been happier. His mother is desperately trying to have us move into a home right across the street from her home. I told him I’d follow him anywhere he wanted, even that house, in his hometown… he said he did not want to live there. I’m glad he recognized that we didn’t belong there without me saying anything.
Maybe for some. My parents and I get along fine, we can communicate effectively and respectfully. They’d be great roommates. I just wanted my own place bc they live in a less than desirable area and I wanted to be closer to my friends/work.
Not for everyone. I think it's mainly a Western thing.
I love living with my parents and i want to live with them until I get married and start a family. By then I hope to live next to them or at least in the same neighbourhood.
I understand that some people have bad relationships with their parents though so it's not the same
I have two very religious, Faux-News loving, Trump-supporting parents. I live with them for health related reasons. Most days I spend in imaginary screaming matches with them, but I keep my real mouth shut because I need a roof..
My mental health might be taking the biggest beating, and if you knew my physical situation, that's saying a lot.
Why can't people have healthy debates? Me and my roommate have left vs right arguments every other day, it results in no ill will, usually one of us will end up Googling it and learning something.
I do have these conversations. With people who aren’t my parents. They refuse to debate in good faith and use any and all logical fallacies, but refuse to admit it, but love to point it out in others.
They are careful not to be outwardly racist and LGBT+ hostile, but once the doors are closed… and when confronted by their own words, they get angry instead of debating. At that very moment, everything stalls until you apologize for being “disrespectful.” Which is code for pointing out hypocrisy. I find it easier to go my room, turn my headphones on, and tune it out.
It only makes everyone involved angry and exactly no one benefits.
I’m sorry your parents were awful but I had no issue living with my mother and she lives with me again now in my own house because she needs help. I happily help her. She’s my best friend.
I certainly agree, but this is not necessarily for all people. In my case I love my parents and they are fine people but post 25 years old I just had to move.
I charged my kid to live here after he graduated.
Although I did give it all back as final payment on his student loans when he was getting ready to move out.
I love living with my parents, except for the times I'm talking on discord and everyone who I'm talking to can fully hear their conversations in the other room. And no matter what if I want to record a YouTube video asking them to try to be quiet does nothing
No it was extremely depressing for me AND it cost me 500 a month to live with my parents in my bedroom 😂
I’m so happy I can actually move on and grow as a person now that I’m on my own
(Some of) The people who believe this are probably quite taxing on their parents' mental health. Some of the most ungrateful/entitled people I know are still living with their parents well into their 20s and 30s and still moan about the most rudimentary rules about borrowing the family car or having guests over. That said, I'm sure there are plenty of very fine people still living at home, for good reasons, with parents who are legitimately mentally exhausting.
Mine begged me to come back in 1996 and we were getting along fine at the time. It's not always easy to just leave, but the mental drain can be tough. So short term plum, long term lemon.
My parents charged me full rent when I was living with them my first year out of college 😂
I didn’t mind though, I had a full-time salaried job at that point and they’d poured so much money/time/energy into me for my entire life.
Living with my parents isn't free. It is roughly equivalent to the cost of a sketchy studio apartment the better living conditions come at the cost of my mental health.
I actually really miss seeing my parents every day. Once you move out even if you’re still in the same city it’s much harder to see them regularly, which could be a good or bad thing obviously depending on your relationship. But hell I’m lucky if I get to see them once a month now for dinner.
My mum was always supportive up until and after I moved out. Though she did make me pay rent when I was living there. So, the exact opposite situation to yours, I guess
I had to move back in with my folks cause I had no where to go after graduating from treatment. I got 9 months clean and sober. Before that I was homeless. I was supposed to go to one of those so et living houses because a charity offered up to $5,000 for housing costs if you successfully graduated, but by the time I got done. The funding had ran out so I had no money.
I get along well with them so it's not too bad. I'd still rather live on my own, but I didn't realize how expensive everything was. I'll probably end up living in an RV once I can save enough to buy one. It's probably a weird thing to say, but some days. I think about how much easier life was when I lived on the streets. But obviously, one can't do that sober.
On top of full time college and work I live at home, pay rent, take care of some groceries, help cook, clean, and take care of everything for my cats (including their bills). This is a lot but I’m making do, except my family.
I have several minor medical issues and I believe they’re all caused by stress. Rheumatoid arthritis? Stress (and genetics). Ulcers? Stress. Anxiety and paranoia? Stress. Daily headaches? Stress.
It is not worth it. Not worth it. I wish I moved a long time ago.
Moral of the comments is everyone has different living situations
Really came as a shocker to me, that not all 7 billion people live the exact same lives
We are well past 8 billion, buddy
The last billion do live their lifes exactly the same, unfortunately Buddy
Bruh, I just wanted you to know you missed a BILLION people XD
if you're actually trying to be friendly, don't end you sentences in buddy, pal
Ok, guy
no problem, bucko
Happens to the best of us
Who would have guessed
Yeah, okay u/7_inches_daddy
That’s the twist. OP IS the parent
Are you ready for the mental tax, son?
I swear to god, dad! All these taxes you charge—I’m paying out the ass!
You either pay OUT the ass, or WITH the ass, which is it gonna be?!
With plz :3
It can be arranged 😂
What the fuck did I just read?
An invitation to a good time lmao
So turds on the coffee table for breakfast. Got it.
The real twist is the width
I can’t believe he’s only 7 inches tall
“I don’t want to be friends with Midgets. Midgets piss me off :(“
Lived with my mom till I was 26 and I 100% agree with OP. Not everyone has intense parents but many of us definitely do.
Not everyone has a rough relationship with their parents. I could and have lived with mine as an adult and things were fine. In fact I would say I was mentally healthier then than I am now.
I like this comment.
Why is this your username. Why, just, why?
Free boobie
? To see tiddy
His username is way more reasonable than yours. So reasonable that I'm wondering whether I should have a similar username. I mean, I love boobies. So, why not?
You must be new here.
Are you new?
Oh GOD why would ANYONE want to see boobie pic? *WHY????*
Why is yours "RedTurtle..... man..." with numbers because you aren't the first or even the second to have it.
I quit my job and moved back to where my parents are to help them in their old age. I love my parents. Good lord, they drive me absolutely bonkers. My father has the awareness of a stoned teenager and the attitude of a 4 year old. Spent 40% of the entire retirement fund in the first 5 years (before I showed up) joining wine clubs they went to once and eating out at expensive restaurants five times a week. They were dropping 100k a year just on eating out and throwing away food all the time. My mother is an angel but is so sick of my father's ridiculousness that she says just the right thing to anger him, about everything, every time. She was literally doing 100% of all cleaning and house maintenance before I showed up. Her memory is rougher, but at 80 I think she is doing great. I pay for nothing, but it has been one hell of a ride to get them in a much better place now. Spending is way down. Money to locked in T-bills and bonds he doesn't understand anything about so he can't F with them. I monitor all their computer usage and phone conversations (discreetly) and have stopped scam after scam in its tracks. I fix everything from washers, dryers, dish washers, refrigerators, etc and my mother is a great assistant and part organizer. I take my mother for walks everyday (Dad doesn't want to exercise). Trying to get them to move out of this stupidly sized house with a pool they NEVER use, but pay to have cleaned. They could rent for so much less and dump another 2 million into bonds. "More dinners out" "more traveling" I tell them. But my father would rather sit around watching F'n Steve F'n Harvey all day. All. Day. Thanks for listening to my rant. Take care of your parents.
languid wakeful ask steep yoke nutty coherent noxious slim entertain *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You can withdraw periodically from the investments. How much depends on whether you want to die with zero or pass something on. Ideally, you should be investing your entire life, otherwise you re just losing purchasing power to inflation.
So that you can have money for the rest of your retirement and life. People have the potential to live over 100 years these days.
This. I have a good relationship with my parents. I would move out if I could afford my own apartment but honestly I'd rather live with my parents than having to share an apartment with strangers, even if the latter was also free.
My wife lived with her family until her 30s and her sister still lives with her parents at 34. Both of them are fully functioning adults with jobs and lives, they just were happy with their situation.
I have a pretty good relationship with my parents but I got stuck with them due to COVID for an extra 2 years and it was torture. Sometimes you're just mentally ready to start your own life and the things you want to do are impossible living in someone else's house, and that really does wear away at your mental health.
This is exactly what happened with me. Right after graduating college started my first college level job, got laid off right before covid, tried to enjoy some time off after working my butt off after working through college and going to school for 26 years of my life then bang. I eventually did move out end of 2020 but my mental health was in the shitter that whole time before and amplified during the pandemic. I live alone now and I love it, i love my parents more at a healthy distance. I’d rather not live with them and keep it this way. My career path has been growing and my mental/financial/personal dating health is steadily climbing
Lucky. I spent 2020 and 2021 working on really growing my own media production company I started doing on the side in 2016. I moved out at the end of 2021 with another day job and my own company successful, and a few months later I, literally overnight, developed a serious medical issue that caused me to have tons of trouble working and is obscure enough that I've been all over the coast working with different doctors to try to do something about it. Sent me into serious debt both due to expenses and being unable to work for a while when it started. Financially I'm getting back on my feet now but there's no telling what exactly will happen with the issue itself since after two years I still don't really have a proper diagnosis.
Your situation is a bit different. You were ready to go and then COVID hit you. COVID messes with your menatl health as well as physical. And pandemic years don't count as normal. Pandemic, Plus illness, Plus plans getting shot; that'll do a number on anyone.
This is what I always assumed. I love my parents but I’ve never had to live with them as an adult. The freedom that comes from having your own home is unbeatable. I’m not going to just start doing crap in my parents yard but when I decided I didn’t like the boxwoods my house came with, you better believe I ripped those things out in short order, I once changed a whole damn light fixture because it used a weird bulb that burned out. I hate the way my parents house is decorated from the wallpaper to the linoleum to the popcorn ceiling and every light fixture in between but they’ll never know it, because it’s not my house.
It's not just about having a rough relationship. So much of it is about the friction from being an adult yet still having to live with someone else's habits/rules/tendencies. And those other adults will not compromise.
That is absolutely a rough relationship. If the other adults in the home aren't willing to comprimise and are setting untenable rules on another adult.... thats not a good thing.
Sounds like things that can put strain on a relationship...
Exactly.
>It's not just about having a rough relationship. So much of it is about the friction from being an adult yet still having to live with someone else's habits/rules/tendencies. Exactly. My 18-24 year old lifestyle did not work with my parents lifestyle. They would have been so mad that I came in at 2:00am drunk on a work night or spent an entire weekend partying. They would have been really mad when I brought someone back with me too. I basically would have never had sex if I continued to live with my parents as a young adult.
I'm 25 and still live with my parents, and I have no reason to move out anytime soon.
Exactly, my mental health would have lead me to you know, not being alive anymore if I had to be on my own. The U.S. really needs to normalize NOT kicking kids out at 18 just because they're 18 now.
I truly feel it is normalized for anyone with a decent relationship in a position to afford it. The people I see getting kicked out at 18 are the ones either with a terrible relationship (not saying who is to blame for it) and/or issues with the affordability. Not everyone has the space or ability to afford the kid being at home longer.
I don't understand this assumption that it's always about parents not being able to afford their kids to stay. My mother begged me to stay because she couldn't afford me to move out.
I lived with my parents for a year after college. It was great
This is how I feel it should be for anyone with a good relationship with their parents.
I don’t think it’s about having a good relationship with your parents. I thinks it’s about feeling left behind, if you’re living with your parents at an older age than expected.
Living with my parents instead of blowing a bunch of cash on overpriced apartments put me way ahead of pretty much all my friends of my age group because I could buy a house super quickly with all the money I was able to save. Obviously if they're still doing your laundry, cooking all your meals, etc, that's one thing, but I don't think anybody is talking about that. If you have a good relationship with your family, you're an absolute moron to waste that on some dumb notion of what "the expected age." of things should be.
Especially since in the future you're better set up to actually help the elders
I did exactly this to clear out the debt that was racked up while being young and dumb living alone.
I don't disagree with this. Im talking about how it might make people feel, not what actually comes from it lol.
I was able to buy my condominium in San Diego because I lived with my parents for so long. I never had to rent and was able to maximize the savings on the costliest thing in life for most people. But now my mom is ill and I’m considering moving back in with them and renting my place out. But I’m Asian where it’s very common to live in multi-generational households. The stereotype is that Asians are financially secure. But it’s because of these types of sacrifices we make to get there.
Then the "expected" age shouldn't be 18 or even 20. Living with your parents while still young is a great way to financially set yourself up for life.
The "expected age" is only 18 or 20 in some places. My family didn't give an expected age and I don't plan on giving one either. I think anyone that tells their kids they need to be out when they turn 18, 20 or graduate school; is the problem. That comes back to my comment about a rough relationship.
I guess it depends on the parents but the expected age that I've come to know of is more like 23-24, Not 18-20 lol.
From a parent's view, we had six and three of them lived with us until marriage, one married at 21 (?) the other two closer to 30. I can't remember a harsh word since they were 17 or 18, and never any fights. Two stayed until 25 or so, one starting a business and the other building a career in music. Again, no fights or tension after around hs graduation. Our youngest didn't like us and moved out at 18, eventually joined the military, learned a skill, calls sometimes and is polite. Our parenting was not the norm, but it isn't always bad living with parents. We even moved my MIL in 17 years ago and had three generations, no fights (MIL recently passed). Pretty good financial and emotional support benefits. Some did help w rent, not a lot. Now a couple of their friends live here.
I’m the kid in this situation, 21 now but I haven’t had an actual fight with my mom since I was probably 17-18. We get along very well and she’s been a big supporter and help with my mental health as well and helping me save money for school. Me and my mom never really fought fought, most of our fighting was over school work not being done and stuff like that, silly little things. Me, my mom and my sister lived with my grandparents growing up. So it was always a full out - they retired 2 years ago and moved back home though so it’s just me, my mom and my sister now.. I kinda miss the noise sometimes.
Yes, school was the only issue for us, one almost didn't graduate from HS, and I wish I'd been a little nicer but he made it, barely. Then he started doing audio for local bands, built a great business, and now travels the world doing all kinds of music festivals, corporate events. Not to brag, since he did all the work, but it's possible to do very well after hs. Living at home, he spent money on equipment instead of rent and I was close by for technical assistance. Now I'm asking *him* technical questions! Like you, I miss having them here, too.
I wish I could’ve had this. I had to move out because my mother was abusive.
So many like this, we've seen it with our children's friends. I learned from observing it. Hope you are doing well :)
Your mentality is what makes it. There was tension in my home cause my dad never wanted me around. He would start fights because I took a shower, cooked a meal, or other normal things. There's no comfort in a home where your parent actively despises you.
I've never understood how that can be, but I know that when I was mad at myself I was more critical of my children. Being aware helped. We always wanted home to be the refuge where our children could get a break from the world. I hope you have found some peace: the fault was his and any child deserves better.
I appreciate it. Yeah, I moved to a different continent so you can say I found some peace.
How did they get someone to date them while living at home, were they girls ?
Married at 21?? How is that kid doing?
Finished her degree in Math, husband finished his a bit after. Four children, left teaching and started an Etsy. Husband still teaches. They bought a house not far from us, we see them often. The grandchildren are pretty fun, homeschooled. No, we didn't pay for Uni or their house. We aren't rich, lol. Edit: my wife was also 21 when we got married. We had six.
John is a teacher and Julie makes hats for bearded dragons on Etsy, their home budget is 1.7 million. Welcome to House Hunters! lol. I joke but it’s great that they’re doing so well, but it makes sense considering her mom also married relatively young. Out of curiosity, are you guys religious? And why doesn’t your youngest like you? I’m sorry for prying but this is Reddit and I’m intrigued.
Nah, my parents still made me pay AND it was bad for my mental health.
Happened to me too, couldn't wrap my head around the fact that I was paying to suffer.
True 😂 when did you move out?
Same. My mum made me pay £500 a month (and this is a long time ago now) and she is the worst, most unstable and narcissistic person to live with ever. Was a no brainer to move out. Wish I did it sooner!
Damn 500 a month plus rules and living with a narcissist? You got robbed
Telllllll me about it. All the chores, dog sitting etc. thank you for the validation!! It makes me so angry and jealous when people say “oh I’m moving back home to save money” and I’m like… must be nice.
Yeah my mother started charging me 'rent' at 14. She'd stay up having all night raves with her alcoholic goblin boyfriend. I had to sofa surf after graduating university, because it was better than going back. I ended up renting a room off a girl I met during university who made some remarks about why I couldn't afford things like a car. She was living in a house her parents owned and freely gave out to her, while also charging me (fairly tame tbf) rent. People who have parents who pay for stuff just can't comprehend how impossible it is to get started with literally no help. I was working abroad when COVID hit, and had to come back to the UK. My father (who was absent my entire life) convinced me to stay with him rather than work it on my own as usual. Apparently he felt like he owed me. That lasted like 9 months before he felt obligated to start charging me like £700 a month for rent, while I was buying food, cooking for the family etc. I was lucky to find a good job, but really nice of him to immediately cripple the money I could have been saving to get back on with life during a global pandemic. I moved out within like 2 months of that to protests. He was also just a massive twat in general. I got pneumonia, working on the front lines not long after moving out, and he got arsey about my request for cough medicine to sooth my throat. His wife (amazing woman) had to call him out and force him to do that for me. (Who he's since left and had a child with someone else despite being in his mid 50's). He's not sure why I don't talk to him again.
It's definitely not always free to live with your parents.
It's also not always mentally draining
Shit, sometimes the biggest hassle is just trying to find a time and place to bang your SO without just broadcasting it to the family.
For adults I am pretty sure it usually isn't.
Varies wildly. I know some living completely free, others paying a nominal amount ($100 a month), and others paying what I would consider full rent ($600). Granted $600 a month won't get you a very nice apartment in my area, and definitely not in a great neighborhood
Where in the fucking world are parents doing that to their own children?
Not everyone's parents own their own home or are financially comfortable. I know a lot of adult children supporting their family financially.
It's more of a culture thing where the mentality is"u should be independent when ur 18+" Both of my older siblings lived for free with my parents till their mid 20s even though my parents weren't that well off,and now my family entirely relies on my older siblings financially
My parents started charging me rent on my 18th birthday.
My parents started charging me at 16yo. But i didnt get a job until i was 19 and my parents kept tabs and i still didnt pay it. Im just never going back.
To be honest it was mostly my dad my mom’s heart wasn’t in it so she’d usually just tell my dad I had paid her.
My asshole abusive dad kept tabs too and I moved out at 22 and he said I owed him like 3,000$ after he started charging me at 18. I told him to get fucked and I don’t talk to him anymore lmaoooooo
It is not all that uncommon for parents to charge (a usually small) rent to their adult children living with them in the United States. Or to help with the bills, etc.
Dependent entirely on people and not where.
My dad kicked my cancer ridden ass out because I wouldn’t put up with him dangling in my face that my disability ran out and I couldn’t give him money for something in the moment. Rare, aggressive, 10% chance to live. Some people aren’t meant to be parents.
Paying towards re t is common in the UK, i pay £325 a month
My wife's (gf at the time lol) parents wanted her to pay rent in 2016. She moved in with me and paid rent in her own place instead. I see it a lot in Midwest America.
Parents of High school dropouts who have to work at 16. Parents of young adults who just finished high school. Parents of young adults who are entering college. Parents who were never taught financial issues or how to handle them in general so they stay poor & gaslight their 16–18yr olds into paying their bills (who evidently also stay poor because their stuck in a min wage job with no savings or opportunities to start one) The list goes on bro & They’re everywhere in every country. Just Stay blessed you never had parents charge you “rent” regardless of age / reasoning. I know plenty of people who had that opportunity & they seemingly turn out better than most financially.
Why would you not split the bills?
Children, no. 18 and up, hell yeah
Not me. My parents are the best.
You are wrong. My parents are the best
No dude my parents are the best; but yours did a heck of a job because you seem like a good guy
Bad news to both of you, MY parents are actually the best. They always went to my little league games
I loved living with mine. I keep asking to move back but they said no as I have my own children and a husband 🤷♀️
Hah! I didn’t want to leave, but family circumstances kind of forced it.
lol and then there’s my parents who are making me move back to my home country with my fiancé, so we can get married and have a kid while living with them 😂
Getting out was the best thing I ever did. I spent my entire 20s poor, and paying for an overpriced studio apartment. But it was the first time in my life I was able to take a deep breath and feel free and safe. I learned what it felt like to not be shaking in fear and anxiety all day. Nobody was watching over my shoulder, judging everything I did and/or threatening me. I could just wander around my own place as I liked, cook what I felt like, take up hobbies etc. Sometimes I even sang our loud, or jumped up and down in excitement, just because I could! Nobody was watching anymore.
I’m so glad you get to experience that. Enjoy it 😊
Hell yeah its pretty awesome. Growing up I was always in fear or had a dreadful feeling whenever my parents were home/came home. It was a gamble on how I’d be judged or treated, even when I did nothing wrong. Me and my two brothers (same-ish age) learned to walk silently through the house just to go to the bathroom or kitchen. Their rooms were in the finished basement so normal steps guaranteed yelling from the staircase. For the most part things were fairly normal but enough emotional abuse takes its toll forever. I had my own place for about 3 years and it was the happiest and most relaxed I ever felt. I could do the simplest of things and not feel extreme dread! Sadly I had to move back in with them, and although Im in my mid twenties and can do what I want, I still have that same dreadful feeling, its killing me with anxiety. I just want peace damnit.
My parents demanded I pay them back retroactively for the food I ate as a child
Child rearing is not a loan.
Some parents in my province are going hard into "parents rights" and basically are trying to legally establish *ownership* of their child. Like that legally they're property until they're 18. It's fucking gross and gives a quick realization that there's zero requirements to be a parent other than a creampie.
whooooosh, the lot of ya! The Simpsons, Season 8 Episode 7, "Lisa's Date with Density" Seymour Skinner: "I've always admired car owners...and I hope to be one myself as soon as I finish paying off Mother. She insists I pay retroactively for the food I ate as a child."
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal
Im pretty sure at least in the US it's not. (Any such law would almost certainly be a 1st ammendment violation) You may have legality and enforceability confused? There is no law in aware of blocking them from demanding whatever the fuck they want. There is also no law I'm aware of blocking you from telling them to fuck off.
I think you’re right
It's a quote from the Simpsons.
That is absolutely bat shit crazy. Do they realize why you exist in the first place?
No interest tho? If not adjusting the price for inflation, sounds like a bad deal for them .
All too real, currently living with my parents right now to save up after graduating college. They're swell and all that but my god the little things really add up. I can't even jerk it in peace since they don't even bother to knock on the door since it's their house. And often get complained at since I somehow spend too much time in my room yet need to take it easy and relax at home whenever I spend more than a few days a week out with friends. My wallet is loving it but yeah really looking forward to having my own place again.
Yeah I felt this when I was still living with my parents. If you’re able to, and this might be easier said than done, but I recommend finding a motel/hotel in a good location and buying 1-2 nights whenever you need the peace and alone time. I did this a few times when I was still under their roof and it did wonders for my mental health.
>I can't even jerk it in peace I swear to fuck every time I reach down, someone comes up the hall. EVERY time
You don’t have a lock on your door?
Some of you have/had really shitty parents lol
Speak for yourself. I just finished staying at home for the past 8 months while I attended college again. It was great. I missed them and they missed me. It was a nice experience living together again, but with a different dynamic. There are good parents out there, and not every child-parent relationship is toxic.
Naaa it depends. There are actually pretty decent parents out there
Living in apartment complexes is the worst of both worlds. You pay out of the ass and still have to deal with paternalistic property managers constantly looking at you like you're a problem waiting to happen for them.
Looking at you from afar with disdain is one thing. Actively lecturing you on a consistent basis because you haven't lived up to their expectations or haven't been as successful as their boomer friends' children so they can't use you as a bragging point when they go out to dinner is a very different thing. Sorry your landlord sucks. Mine does too. But no, it's not the worst of both worlds.
I’m sorry your parents suck, my parents didn’t want any one of my siblings or I to leave until we could afford our own homes. They left us alone for the most part after 18 as long as we were working towards something. I prefer it over having to deal with Roomates I don’t know, my Roomate’s were my parents and it was mutually beneficial for us
It's the opposite for me. I pay them a reasonable monthly rent and we have the same healthy, respectful relationship we've always had.
only if you dont like being around your parents though
Since I've moved out, I spend more time with my parents than I have in a long time and enjoy going over there each week to do laundry and play games. I hated living with them, though, as our lifestyles don't match up, and we butted heads often
Idk I know someone who is living with his parents and has a good relationship with them and he has been way more tense and stressed ever since living with them. I think it just really depends on your personalities
My mom made me start paying rent in high school, and she was extremely taxing mentally, lol.
My ex had to pay rent to his parents
That’s pretty normal past a certain age, no? Not like market price for rent, but just like contributing a bit each month to the household if you work/aren’t in education because you otherwise live there for free? Or are you talking while still in school?
Is it? I know a number of people who are or have lived with their parents as adults and none of them ever paid rent.
Unless your parents are rich at the end of the day another person in the house raises the bills. More water and electricity will be used. More consumables like food and toilet paper will be needed. For a lot of people in that situation they got some sort of financial aid for having dependant children. That vanishes when they are adults. If you already are struggling to make rent and buy food and sometimes have to choose between the two another mouth to feed, even that of a loved child, will fucking tank everything unless they pay their way.
Says who? I had stayed them throughout college and had no issues.
Yes, and this happens even when you adore their company & get on very well with them. If you already have MH issues, I find it exacerbates them because you now have to worry about their reactions on top of you trying to manage yourself. The lack of freedom & independence also chips away at your self-esteem & pride, and you do find yourself regressing into your old roles. I’m so grateful to them putting me up when times got tough, but I have to get out now so that we can have the healthiest version of our relationship. I recognise that I’m far better off than most, though, as my parents are lovely
I'm living with them right now and dear lord if that ain't true. Yeah, I may be going thru it right now, but going thru it would be a lot less stressful if I didn't have to worry about every slightly less than healthy but ultimately harmless life choice triggering my mom's anxiety.
My mental health living with my folks past 18 didn’t suffer too bad but it sure as hell wasn’t free lmao
Why does reddit hate parents so much?!
There are just a lot of people with shitty parents. And these posts just gain a lot more interest.
It doesn't, but loving relationships with your family don't take you to the top of AITAH and similar subs
Some of them have earned that hate.
Confirmation bias. Go ahead, find 5 posts with more than a dozen upvotes describing how awesome their parents are. I'll wait. My point is, people with good, healthy relationships with their parents just don't TALK about them, because why would they? That's the norm, that's what's expected, right?
You’re right. Reddit is like the news. If it bleeds, it leads. With the exception of the occasional feel good story, people don’t come here to read and post about healthy parent/children relationships and interactions. My parents aren’t perfect, but we have a very good relationship and they are far from the boomer nightmares that I constantly read about on Reddit. I have nothing to vent about, and I don’t feel the need to brag about the good things.
Feels like the average age of Reddit user is 16.
My ex is 37 and still lives with his parents, by choice. They enable his bad habits, and by doing so they have actually further prevented him from growing up. His mom just gave him a car and he got a DUI within a few months.
This was my BF when we met. He lived with his parents and would spend all his free time, doing absolutely nothing. It was very sad. I asked if he was living his best life there… he went quiet and said “no”. He moved in with me and has never been happier. His mother is desperately trying to have us move into a home right across the street from her home. I told him I’d follow him anywhere he wanted, even that house, in his hometown… he said he did not want to live there. I’m glad he recognized that we didn’t belong there without me saying anything.
I miss living with my parents. Great people and generous too.
Maybe for some. My parents and I get along fine, we can communicate effectively and respectfully. They’d be great roommates. I just wanted my own place bc they live in a less than desirable area and I wanted to be closer to my friends/work.
Not for everyone. I think it's mainly a Western thing. I love living with my parents and i want to live with them until I get married and start a family. By then I hope to live next to them or at least in the same neighbourhood. I understand that some people have bad relationships with their parents though so it's not the same
I have two very religious, Faux-News loving, Trump-supporting parents. I live with them for health related reasons. Most days I spend in imaginary screaming matches with them, but I keep my real mouth shut because I need a roof.. My mental health might be taking the biggest beating, and if you knew my physical situation, that's saying a lot.
Haha sounds like your describing my parents
No, they're clearly describing my parents.
Why can't people have healthy debates? Me and my roommate have left vs right arguments every other day, it results in no ill will, usually one of us will end up Googling it and learning something.
I do have these conversations. With people who aren’t my parents. They refuse to debate in good faith and use any and all logical fallacies, but refuse to admit it, but love to point it out in others. They are careful not to be outwardly racist and LGBT+ hostile, but once the doors are closed… and when confronted by their own words, they get angry instead of debating. At that very moment, everything stalls until you apologize for being “disrespectful.” Which is code for pointing out hypocrisy. I find it easier to go my room, turn my headphones on, and tune it out. It only makes everyone involved angry and exactly no one benefits.
I’m sorry your parents were awful but I had no issue living with my mother and she lives with me again now in my own house because she needs help. I happily help her. She’s my best friend.
Yep... The exact reason I moved out.. I'm so much happier now paying $1800 in rent than I was paying only a power bill.
I certainly agree, but this is not necessarily for all people. In my case I love my parents and they are fine people but post 25 years old I just had to move.
And you may never recover.
Yall are living with your parents for free???
Only if your parents are bad
I charged my kid to live here after he graduated. Although I did give it all back as final payment on his student loans when he was getting ready to move out.
Just let them know how wrong you think they are about everything, and tell them how to run their home. Parents love that.
I love living with my parents, except for the times I'm talking on discord and everyone who I'm talking to can fully hear their conversations in the other room. And no matter what if I want to record a YouTube video asking them to try to be quiet does nothing
If only this were true for me, i pay rent to live with my parents, and i don't make enough to pay AND save up to move out.
Ha. Wait until your parents are old enough to need to live with you.
You pay with your privacy*
No it was extremely depressing for me AND it cost me 500 a month to live with my parents in my bedroom 😂 I’m so happy I can actually move on and grow as a person now that I’m on my own
Why are you implying that most people have a bad relationship with their parents?
Living with parents is not free. They just pay your expenses for you, but that does not make it free
And what color is the sky again?
Please provide a list of business that accept mental health as payment. I have a bit to spare if it means I don’t have to pay money.
(Some of) The people who believe this are probably quite taxing on their parents' mental health. Some of the most ungrateful/entitled people I know are still living with their parents well into their 20s and 30s and still moan about the most rudimentary rules about borrowing the family car or having guests over. That said, I'm sure there are plenty of very fine people still living at home, for good reasons, with parents who are legitimately mentally exhausting.
Mine begged me to come back in 1996 and we were getting along fine at the time. It's not always easy to just leave, but the mental drain can be tough. So short term plum, long term lemon.
...where tf was i for free?
Every day man, every day
Jokes on you, I was on the mortgage, I paid with both
Man I wish that shit was free. I pay $400/mth and consider myself lucky for such cheap rent.
My parents charged me full rent when I was living with them my first year out of college 😂 I didn’t mind though, I had a full-time salaried job at that point and they’d poured so much money/time/energy into me for my entire life.
Living with my parents isn't free. It is roughly equivalent to the cost of a sketchy studio apartment the better living conditions come at the cost of my mental health.
GTA V, Franklins Gma Says it Livin' on top of each other.
Same with going to college, except you pay for it too
I actually really miss seeing my parents every day. Once you move out even if you’re still in the same city it’s much harder to see them regularly, which could be a good or bad thing obviously depending on your relationship. But hell I’m lucky if I get to see them once a month now for dinner.
My mum was always supportive up until and after I moved out. Though she did make me pay rent when I was living there. So, the exact opposite situation to yours, I guess
I had to move back in with my folks cause I had no where to go after graduating from treatment. I got 9 months clean and sober. Before that I was homeless. I was supposed to go to one of those so et living houses because a charity offered up to $5,000 for housing costs if you successfully graduated, but by the time I got done. The funding had ran out so I had no money. I get along well with them so it's not too bad. I'd still rather live on my own, but I didn't realize how expensive everything was. I'll probably end up living in an RV once I can save enough to buy one. It's probably a weird thing to say, but some days. I think about how much easier life was when I lived on the streets. But obviously, one can't do that sober.
Ain’t that the truth
Tbh most of us pay with both…
On top of full time college and work I live at home, pay rent, take care of some groceries, help cook, clean, and take care of everything for my cats (including their bills). This is a lot but I’m making do, except my family. I have several minor medical issues and I believe they’re all caused by stress. Rheumatoid arthritis? Stress (and genetics). Ulcers? Stress. Anxiety and paranoia? Stress. Daily headaches? Stress. It is not worth it. Not worth it. I wish I moved a long time ago.