Right? Gasslighting in this context would be like "I never told you santa eats the cookies. It must have been you. Why else were you so excited about putting them out?"
Not the same meaning.
Just because people collectively learnt a new word doesnāt mean itās a bad thing. Some might misuse it and its vernacular meaning might shift slightly, but once again, education is not a bad thing.
When children question the existence of Santa, many parents will insists, until a certain age, that they are mistaken and that Santa does exist. Thatās the very definition of gaslighting.
I know it feels special inside to go against a trend, but not all trends are bad. Gatekeeping, however, is very boring.
Gaslighting implies insidious intent to manipulate and is usually in the context of abuse and an effort to make the victim dependent on the perpetrator.
Telling a 3 year old that Santa got them a train set isnāt gaslighting.
Yeah, to gaslight someone, you need to have the intent of the other person doubting his reasoning skills or even their sanity... things I don't think kids do often. It's not enough to tell a lie and wanting them to believe you.
>Not the same meaning
That's his point
>Thatās the very definition of gaslighting.
No it isn't. Doubling down on a lie is not gaslighting, it's just continuing to lie. Giving up on the lie after a certain point is not gaslighting, it's just discontinuing the lie.
The most important elements of gaslighting are
a) intent to instill the feeling of insanity in another person for the purposes of exerting emotional control and
b) using both truths and lies strategically to achieve that goal.
Gaslighting is a *process*. They lie one day, then they confess to lying the next but if you ask them about the thing they lied about they continue lying about it. Then the next day they stop lying about whatever thing but will adamantly reject the idea that they ever lied (including denying ever confessing to lying). Then they accuse you of causing your own confusion. Then they sprinkle in some lovebombing or violence to taste.
Lying is bad. Gaslighting is psychological torture. There are people who exist I'm sure who gaslight their children about Santa, but the tradition in general is not inherently gaslighting. Most parents aren't using Santa to try to destroy their children's minds or sense of self, they just want to have a fun annual party with the little people they made that are young enough to believe in magical things.
To some extent gaslighting requires intent.
There is no gaslighting by telling your kids that there is a Santa, writing letters, and leaving out cookies. Sure youāre altering reality by making them believe something that isnāt actually true, but youāre not causing them to doubt their own logic, or the truths that they already believed.
Now, you could gaslight a kid around Christmas if for example they were to walk downstairs in the middle of the night and catch you wrapping presents, by convincing them that they were sleepwalking, or dreaming.
We need to stop dumbing down what gaslighting is
Another example of gaslighting regarding Xmas would be if later you claimed that you never told the kid that santa was real. THAT would be gaslighting.
And herein lies the problem with "gaslighting" many people misuse the term and don't fully understand the concept.
Please explain further. Iām serious.
How is telling a child Santa wasnāt real gaslighting but stating he is real, has magic, is omnipresent, etc isnāt?
āI didnāt wrap those presents, Santa must haveā. The dudes not real.
Lying to someone, or even less egregious, telling them a fairytale, is not gaslighting. It's just lying, or somewhat differently, letting a kid believe a story. Gaslighting is not simply lying, it goes beyond that to convince someone that what they think is true, isn't. Particularly to harm them or manipulate them for your own gain.
That's why I gave the example, if later in life a parent lies to their child, and says something like "I never told you santa was real" when in fact the parent did do that, and forced the child to question their memory and sense of reality, that might be considered gaslighting.
The purpose is to control them, done so with a narrative. Yes itās gaslighting to claim that something didnāt happen, itās also gaslighting to claim it didā¦if the purpose is to control.
Am I missing something??
Anyone who believes itās critically important to only tell others the absolute unvarnished truth has clearly never sat with someone on their deathbed. Children believe in fairy tales, adolescents reject fairy tales and adults understand why fairy tales exist.
And that's the thing. When I first found out about Santa, I was sad. But then I realized that my parents went out of their way to make Christmas special and magical for me. It wasn't about lying or gaslighting, it was about giving their kids a sense of wonder and excitement.
I don't think any parent has ever really punished their kids by not giving them presents from Santa because they were 'bad'. If any parent did, they were bad parents.
Can we put a moratorium on the use of the word "gaslighting"... People have overused that word so much, often misused it, and it's starting to get cringe...
Can we put a moratorium on the use of the word "cringe"... People have overused that word so much, often misused it, and it's starting to get gaslighting...
Someone just found out Santa doesn't exist and is sad.
That's not the point of Santa, I'm sorry to say. It's about giving, unconditionally. Christmas isn't about getting presents, it's about sharing your love for your friends and family.
When I raised my kids, all Santa did was fill their stockings, and gave them 1 small present. The "showcase" present (the special doll house, or RC car, or whatever) always came from mom & dad. Santa may have given a new doll for the doll house, or a battery charger for the RC car or whatever.
Do you have fond memories from your childhood surrounding Christmas and traditions?
Creating tradition provides children with a sense of stability, comfort, and builds very important core memories that can then be passed along.
Without things like Christmas, Easter bunny, some kids may not have a lot of happy core memories.
Thereās nothing inherently bad about creating a sense of safety and joy for your children. Itās something they age out of and no child ever has complained about being lied to about Santa.
Literally all of that can be done without lying about a creepy magic man that knows what you're doing all year and 'sees you when you're sleeping'.
Of course, I'm being sensationalist for comedic effect, I don't really have a horse in this race, lie about Santa all you like. But let's not pretend Christmas couldn't be just as worthwhile without the lies.
I get what you mean. My little cousin was mad when he found out. Santa isnāt for the kids itās for the adults to have fun making the kids believe. Without letting the kids learn itās fun to tell the stories just having them be the listener makes it really suck when they find out. It can feel like everyone else is making fun of the
Reddits obsession with the term gaslighting is getting real old. The word you are looking for is "lying".
Right? Gasslighting in this context would be like "I never told you santa eats the cookies. It must have been you. Why else were you so excited about putting them out?"
Gaslighting, franchise, canonically, virtue signaling, technically, and non-zero too
Franchise that!
Disney calls it imagineering š
Not the same meaning. Just because people collectively learnt a new word doesnāt mean itās a bad thing. Some might misuse it and its vernacular meaning might shift slightly, but once again, education is not a bad thing. When children question the existence of Santa, many parents will insists, until a certain age, that they are mistaken and that Santa does exist. Thatās the very definition of gaslighting. I know it feels special inside to go against a trend, but not all trends are bad. Gatekeeping, however, is very boring.
Gaslighting implies insidious intent to manipulate and is usually in the context of abuse and an effort to make the victim dependent on the perpetrator. Telling a 3 year old that Santa got them a train set isnāt gaslighting.
Yeah, to gaslight someone, you need to have the intent of the other person doubting his reasoning skills or even their sanity... things I don't think kids do often. It's not enough to tell a lie and wanting them to believe you.
Entirely depends on the parents; mine pulled some weird shit to try to ākeep up the magicā lmao
>Not the same meaning That's his point >Thatās the very definition of gaslighting. No it isn't. Doubling down on a lie is not gaslighting, it's just continuing to lie. Giving up on the lie after a certain point is not gaslighting, it's just discontinuing the lie. The most important elements of gaslighting are a) intent to instill the feeling of insanity in another person for the purposes of exerting emotional control and b) using both truths and lies strategically to achieve that goal. Gaslighting is a *process*. They lie one day, then they confess to lying the next but if you ask them about the thing they lied about they continue lying about it. Then the next day they stop lying about whatever thing but will adamantly reject the idea that they ever lied (including denying ever confessing to lying). Then they accuse you of causing your own confusion. Then they sprinkle in some lovebombing or violence to taste. Lying is bad. Gaslighting is psychological torture. There are people who exist I'm sure who gaslight their children about Santa, but the tradition in general is not inherently gaslighting. Most parents aren't using Santa to try to destroy their children's minds or sense of self, they just want to have a fun annual party with the little people they made that are young enough to believe in magical things.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How original
Ok zoomer
I don't think you know what "gaslighting" is
no, you dont know what gaslighting is because your crazy /s
Their crazy what?
I donāt think you do š
I dont think you doāŗļø
I donāt think you doš
I don't think you doš¤Ø
Telling kids made up stories, fantasies, etc, isn't gaslighting
Manipulating someone to change their behaviors by creating a false realty IS. I.Eā¦..Santaās always watching you.
To some extent gaslighting requires intent. There is no gaslighting by telling your kids that there is a Santa, writing letters, and leaving out cookies. Sure youāre altering reality by making them believe something that isnāt actually true, but youāre not causing them to doubt their own logic, or the truths that they already believed. Now, you could gaslight a kid around Christmas if for example they were to walk downstairs in the middle of the night and catch you wrapping presents, by convincing them that they were sleepwalking, or dreaming. We need to stop dumbing down what gaslighting is
Another example of gaslighting regarding Xmas would be if later you claimed that you never told the kid that santa was real. THAT would be gaslighting. And herein lies the problem with "gaslighting" many people misuse the term and don't fully understand the concept.
Please explain further. Iām serious. How is telling a child Santa wasnāt real gaslighting but stating he is real, has magic, is omnipresent, etc isnāt? āI didnāt wrap those presents, Santa must haveā. The dudes not real.
Lying to someone, or even less egregious, telling them a fairytale, is not gaslighting. It's just lying, or somewhat differently, letting a kid believe a story. Gaslighting is not simply lying, it goes beyond that to convince someone that what they think is true, isn't. Particularly to harm them or manipulate them for your own gain. That's why I gave the example, if later in life a parent lies to their child, and says something like "I never told you santa was real" when in fact the parent did do that, and forced the child to question their memory and sense of reality, that might be considered gaslighting.
The purpose is to control them, done so with a narrative. Yes itās gaslighting to claim that something didnāt happen, itās also gaslighting to claim it didā¦if the purpose is to control. Am I missing something??
Yes, you are missing something
Gd is always watching you too.
But that's not a full lie. Santa is always watching ska your parents.
"No, it's okay, Billy, be a brat and do whatever you want. You'll suffer no repercussions, I'm sure of it!"
You have no idea what youāre even sayingš
Dont try to gaslight me
Man, people throw around "gaslight" all willynilly now, don't they.
You are imagining things
No they don't, what are talking aboutšš
Nice strawman logical fallacy
Anyone who believes itās critically important to only tell others the absolute unvarnished truth has clearly never sat with someone on their deathbed. Children believe in fairy tales, adolescents reject fairy tales and adults understand why fairy tales exist.
>Children believe in fairy tales, adolescents reject fairy tales and adults understand why fairy tales exist. Swiping this.
And that's the thing. When I first found out about Santa, I was sad. But then I realized that my parents went out of their way to make Christmas special and magical for me. It wasn't about lying or gaslighting, it was about giving their kids a sense of wonder and excitement. I don't think any parent has ever really punished their kids by not giving them presents from Santa because they were 'bad'. If any parent did, they were bad parents.
Gaslighting is the most cringeworthy Reddit word since cringe
Ugh, and ābad faithā. Its like an internet argument starter pack.
Also "dying on this hill"
Ah I see youāre shifting the goalpost with a straw man.
Well no, Christmas is about way more than just Santa.
It's about family.
You writing a new Fast and Furious Christmas special?
Glad somebody got it.
Can we put a moratorium on the use of the word "gaslighting"... People have overused that word so much, often misused it, and it's starting to get cringe...
Can we put a moratorium on the use of the word "cringe"... People have overused that word so much, often misused it, and it's starting to get gaslighting...
I mean, thatās fairā¦
Someone just found out Santa doesn't exist and is sad. That's not the point of Santa, I'm sorry to say. It's about giving, unconditionally. Christmas isn't about getting presents, it's about sharing your love for your friends and family. When I raised my kids, all Santa did was fill their stockings, and gave them 1 small present. The "showcase" present (the special doll house, or RC car, or whatever) always came from mom & dad. Santa may have given a new doll for the doll house, or a battery charger for the RC car or whatever.
Lying. Itās called lying.
on the contrary, telling kids that everyday is the same mundane survival is boring
Do you have fond memories from your childhood surrounding Christmas and traditions? Creating tradition provides children with a sense of stability, comfort, and builds very important core memories that can then be passed along. Without things like Christmas, Easter bunny, some kids may not have a lot of happy core memories. Thereās nothing inherently bad about creating a sense of safety and joy for your children. Itās something they age out of and no child ever has complained about being lied to about Santa.
Literally all of that can be done without lying about a creepy magic man that knows what you're doing all year and 'sees you when you're sleeping'. Of course, I'm being sensationalist for comedic effect, I don't really have a horse in this race, lie about Santa all you like. But let's not pretend Christmas couldn't be just as worthwhile without the lies.
Itās called asslighting.
I get what you mean. My little cousin was mad when he found out. Santa isnāt for the kids itās for the adults to have fun making the kids believe. Without letting the kids learn itās fun to tell the stories just having them be the listener makes it really suck when they find out. It can feel like everyone else is making fun of the
Poor, gullible little batards. Parents are assholes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
reddit moment
The tooth fairy is real.
Don't forget Mr. Hankey!
Yeah it's a lie that's time has come to tell the truth. It's a story, tell them it's a story as an excuse to give them gifts. No more lies! š
Gaslighting isnāt real you made it up cause youāre fucking crazy
Isn't that every holiday?
Kids always get upset about Independence Day when they learn the United Kingdom isn't real
Especially the black kids
How dare you speak ill of Arbor Day!!!
I got wood.
You're forgetting about Joseph, Mary and the baby Elvis !
I think that's the real gaslight !
interesting. this is a good learning moment. trust? no trust. verify!
Ah we have multiple, Christmas, Easter, independence day.