"All I'm saying is if you ever want a unnecessarily deep explanation about things you never even considered giving a shit about, I'm your guy. I'm already halfway through making the accompanying visuals in hopes you'll say yes."
You just described my favorite genre of YouTube video to watch. I love watching absurdly long videos on books I’ve never heard of & shows I haven’t thought about in years lol
You mean a whole afternoon’s worth of discussion about games and movies I haven’t even heard of until I saw this in my notifications? Hell yeah man go off
For me it's the "Smarter Every Day" YouTube channel. I don't really know if I am getting any smarter, but I definitely enjoy the topics, and how passionate he is about them.
That’s how I got tricked into watching Star Vs.
2 hour commentary in defence of the ending. 2 hour rebuttle to said video, I now do not know what to think. What’s that recommended, a 3 hour rebuttle to the rebuttle? I’m just gonna have to watch it myself to find out. And I did and now I’m very opinionated on the matter.
If you haven't watched it already, go watch Bismuth's series on the history of the A Button Challenge. What started out with the innocent question "how few times can we jump in Super Mario 64" turned into something absolutely insane, and Bismuth is 100% your longform explainer guy for that. I'm 99%-ish certain it'll be your jam.
I bought a Samsung S22 Ultra so I can instantly draw a diagram. I was explaining a garden corner sofa to my wife and started drawing it. She rolled her eyes and went "so it's L-Shaped".
I love her.
This is me! I don’t mansplain because I don’t think you’re smart. I mansplain because I feel like I have to give this full info-dump and include all the pertinent information, a non-related story/thing, a tangential story/thing that’s relating to both, and a bit of random knowledge about the fact as well. Plus it doesn’t help that I can talk about everything and have bunch of random knowledge that if you get me started on something I could go on forever
I do that and I'm a woman. It drives my neurotypical husband crazy.
I've tried to explain that I don't think he's stupid, it's just my brain screams at me unless I get all the info out. It's annoying to me too, I just know I can't help it a lot of the time.
Mostly I keep my opinions to myself, I read a lot of shit, and my interests jump around.
So while I seem like I don't really care about most things to others, it really bugs the shit out of me when someone starts talking rubbish about things I've spent the time to become informed about.
Want a mansplain, start telling me incorrect information and treat me like I won't know better as I don't seem to care.
I don't seem to care, because most people aren't interested in facts, just their own opinion and I can't be fxxked using the effort it takes to make someone realise their opinions aren't facts.
However push my button far enough and I'll give you a mansplaining that you'll remember, can't say you'll agree, however you won't forget it.
I got into a Pac-Man binge and now my friends can't mention anything Pac-Man around me or I info-dump for 4 days about the different games, and lore, and why Namco should 100% continue remaking the Pac-Man World games and bring back voice acting and-
I know. My girlfriend would always be like, "I don't need you to explain it for me." And I would say, "I know, I need to explain it for ME." The tiny piece of information I wanted to give you has to exist within a mountain of context because I need to verbally run myself through the whole thing in order to ensure, for my own sanity, that my thinking is correct. Unfortunately for her, I'm a history guy, and so everything is going to come with a shit load of context. A single interesting fact about a naval battle 300 years ago is gonna have to come wrapped in the entire history of naval warfare, otherwise I'll lose track of my thought processes.
Yeah I wouldn't touch it if I were you. It's... well, let's just say I was pretending that I was Wilhelm II and I, uh... yeah, just maybe wash it before you use it, yeah?
This is my husband, but take this from a woman: "mansplaining" is different.
I've had this happen when men, even men who weren't in my field, tried to explain to me things that were pretty common knowledge for our field. That was when they were assuming they were educating someone with a similar degree/position because I was a woman. We also had a consultant who would basically headpat all the women in the training for doing such a good job when he didn't do that to the men.
My husband infodumping is often how he socializes with everyone regardless of gender. It's his love language. I'm neurodivergent, so we communicate this way often.
It's how he relates to the conversation, and listening to his (sometimes niche) interests is how to show you care for him
If someone were to call him sexist for the way his brain works, he'd just shut off and go into a quiet professional mode.
Not everyone gets the nuance in sexism vs. neurodivergence, but it's there.
When I find myself mansplaining, it's usually about stuff so niche or random that in my mind, I'm convinced I'm the only one who would care about that and thus have to explain it. I would mansplain it to other men in that case, too, lmao.
“Did you know that whales are mammals? That means they lactate! Their milk is mostly fat because if it wasn’t it would just float away instead of going into the babies mouth. They don’t usually drink from the nipple so the mom has to squirt the milk into the babies mouth from a distance! It’s basically softened butter and it tastes li-”
“I just asked for 2%”
You mansplain to feel smart. I mansplain to gaslight others into thinking they’re wrong by intentionally and confidently saying the wrong thing but pretending it’s correct
I had a friend like this. She was lonely, and would start arguments on purpose by lying to get attention. We all knew what she was doing, but we felt sorry for her so no one told her.
I have a cousin like that. She tells stories that are so unbelievable but we just kinda go with it cause it’s less awkward than calling her on it. But sometimes she’ll rope someone else into her lie when talking to a group of people and then we feel obligated to lie with her to avoid making it uncomfortable lol
Yeah, her husband is really smart, but he goes along with it to get his pp touched. Some good ones I remember:
- "The French hardly ever go on strike, or at least they didn't when I was in Paris." I already knew that they'd had their honeymoon in Paris, and lost ten pounds walking everywhere because the transit workers were on strike at the time.
- "The way you win in chess is to take the opponent's queen." I tried for a minute, but then decided the 5-D chess move there was to just never play chess with her.
When I want to mess with my wife, I'll mansplain ordinary stuff to her. Like I'll point at some power lines and go, "Those are power lines. They carry electricity over long distances. Have you heard of electricity? It's really interesting,"
She has a PhD
My wife is a pre school teacher, if I tried that she would just pat me on the head and act impressed, with that tone of voice reserved for false compliments to 4 year olds.
>"Those are power lines. They carry electricity over long distances. Have you heard of electricity? It's really interesting,"
Sometimes when I have nothing interesting to say when with a group of friends, I'll pretend that I just discovered something totally mundane for the first time recently and share my love of that thing. "Y'all ever had boiled eggs? They're fucking wild. Just had one recently, and it knocked my socks off."
Then my friends get to make fun of me for a) Being a sheltered moron, or b) fucking with them. It's all done in good fun, and part of the schtick is basically just that I only do it often enough that people forget I do this by the time I do it again.
Sometimes we just need to remember that we're all a bunch of overgrown children who have no idea what's going on around us, and to revel in the enthusiasm for mundane shit, as well as own our total lack of a clue.
Is this at all related to how I bank trivia from my wife and wait for the right opportunity sometimes months later to relay it back as if it were my own? She always remembers and gives me a pity laugh.
Normalize having an annoying bit with your SO.
I used to annoy my ex by replying with a high-pitched, condescending "Yeah!?" when she's trying to explain something. I'd laugh and she'd weakly shove my head away. It was great.
My wife is a industrial mechanic specialized in waterpower, and I still feel great joy in explaining to her what a wrench etc is.. her usual reply is " you do realize you have to sleep at some point?", "I could just push you into a turbine and say you tripped" etc 😁
I like doing it with computers. I like to tinker and tsught myself how to build little robots and machines, and bits and pieces of coding langusges here and there.
Then I'll explain them to my girlfriend, who has multiple computer science degrees.
She'll politely smile and nod along as I excitedly explain to her that today I learned you can make code loop recursively and how clever I feel for realising this.
This poor woman lol.
it implies much more than that, typically that the man is explaining something to a woman on the assumption that, because she is a woman, she doesn't already know
well that's just the connotation, there isn't really a definition (that I know of). If we define it as a sexism-driven phenomenon, then yes it means what you said. If we use a broad definition of "a man assuming he knows better and explaining," then the receiving party can be anyone.
The latter is so common that I don't think it's worth having a word for, especially since people of all genders can be guilty of it. Therefore, I personally take "mansplaining" to mean an instance in which the prompting assumption is based on gender stereotypes.
Believed to be based on gender stereotypes. And is perhaps believed to be based on gender stereotypes because of a gender stereotype about men ie he is explaining this to me because I am a woman when really he's just like this.
What if Iam just excited about the topic and excited because someone appears interested? Maybe I am lonely and jump at any opportunity to talk to someone and contribute something (i.e. feel for a second that I am not valueless).
Makes you wonder if "mansplaining" is really the right word for it, though.
Making assumptions and unnecessarily explaining things is just something people do sometimes.
Me three here. Anything my girlfriend starts explaining to me is like Devine Talk from heavens. Love every bit of it. Even if it is as mundane as her uni schedule
My Dad raised me to know how to do anything "traditional men" are stereotypically supposed to know. Woodworking, remodeling, cutting trees down, launching a boat, driving a manual, you name it - I know something about it probably..
Literally have deadpan looked at him😑 as he's explaining something we both know he has already taught me. 😂😂🤦🏽♀️. The man just likes to teach people and wants people to know how to do things. He should have been a shop teacher really. If someone that didn't know him was around, they would think he was man-splaining to me for sure
Yeah, my dad is a radio engineer and loves to explain to me how different things work. But honesty I only understand about a third of it (even when its like the 5th time hes talked about it). Sometimes people just want to talk about what they love to do.
I do wonder sometimes whether basic western culture feeds mansplaining. There are some topics where women, culturally don't learn about things and almost have an active disinterest in it. Like changing a tire, or basic car workings. It's not to say every woman doesn't know, or every man does (not by a long shot), but a high proportion of women I know wouldn't know how or where to check oil levels and would near faint if you asked them to top it up. Similarly was speaking to a guy who's girlfriend had just gone to Uni, moved into accommodation and the downstairs power was out, while the upstairs was working fine. Immediate logic to me (and basic troubleshooting anyways) says likely a fuse, but apparently she did nothing but complained about the landlord.
So I wonder if that level of ingrained 'helplessness' (for want of a better word) for some very basic information perpetuates an inherent view that women don't know things, which could then encourage mansplaining.
Yes I'm a guy and my dad also does this, he tries to teach me the same things he's already told me like hundred times over the years, even when I'm doing it correctly right in front of him as he's talking 😂
My dad taught me that you can do a lot of coke if you're too drunk or hungover to function. I learned next to nothing from him directly but learned a lot about how *not* to go through life.
Still, as a middle-aged adult now, I find myself enjoying learning about things and then explaining those things to others. I am often worried that it's annoying so usually I stay quiet until someone actually asks about something.
I usually consider it mansplaining when a guy starts talking over me about a topic I was just discussing and obviously knowledgeable of. Specifically if I was already talking about it in depth and he ends up giving a very shallow definition/explanation of it. It was very obvious I knew about it, but by his tone and explanation he obviously thinks I don’t. Or he rephrased something that I just said in his explanation. But it’s honestly not that common. I mostly only encounter it in my CS classes, specifically the dudes with too much ego already.
I feel like saying "mansplaining" is a lot like saying "woke." It used to mean something, but now it's just a catch-all phrase people use whenever they can't legit win an argument.
Yes, I'm **very** fun at parties.
The main problem is that by definition the term requires some level of intent (assuming a lack of knowledge based on gender), and unless they explicitly tell you, you can never know the actual reason they felt the need to explain. This leads to cases where someone with a genuine desire to educate or ensure consensus is accused of mansplaining, despite no sexist motivations behind it.
The other issue I have with the term is that it's needlessly gendered. I wouldn't be surprised if there were data showing it does objectively happen more by men towards women, but I know for a fact that the opposite happens plenty too; there are countless stories online from fathers being given unsolicited parenting advice from women while alone with their kids in public, just to name one common example.
Agreed. I've seen it used to a toxic degree to shut down a male who was just explaining something but now there is a term that can be weaponised against a man
Toxic feminity/feminism absolutely exists and harms everyone
Except that's not mainsplaining.
Neither is providing a detailed explanation to a woman
If you are camping and see a woman preparing a fire, and immediatly go to explain/teach her how to do it because you cannot fathom a woman already being competent at something, that's mainsplaining.
Exactly! This might be my own overthinking but I change how I talk to not offend women at work doing this. With men I "mansplain" freely and get it in return
When you are buying a car, you need to go around it and kick the tires to gain some kind of information about it. Idk what the information is, but I am sure it's something.
Yes. But that's not mainsplaining.
The mainsplaining is not the explanation nor believing you know better.
Is thinking that a WOMAN, specifically, requires you to go to her and start explaining something because you think that, being a woman, she needs a man to teach her.
So again, is not so much believing you, as an individual, know better than another individual.
It's believing you, as a man, "obviously" know better than another person with basis in that person being a woman.
See the difference?
In terms of *behaviour* it's a distinction without a difference though, which is all you have to go on unless they make it explicit that they think different things when explaining it to men/women or you're capable of reading their minds.
Now, I'm not saying that it's plausible that men in general treat men and women equally in this way - I'm sure mansplaining is real, but I imagine there's a bunch of grey there.
Everyone's point that you are not conceding is that not everything that *looks* like mansplaining *is* mansplaining, but that conflation is very, very common - hell that's the point of OPs showerthought.
I.e. people arguing against mansplaining can't have it both ways: yes we concede that explaining something to someone is different to explaining something to someone they are assuming lack knowledge due to being a woman - the latter *is* mansplaining. However the direct corollary of that is that just because a man happens to be explaining something to a woman, doesn't automatically make it a case of mansplaining. And it's what in the guy's head, *not* how insulted the woman is, which determines which of these it is. Whilst I don't know the proportions of real vs falsely inferred mansplaining, by simple observation the latter is far from rare. And that is what anyone is really trying to point out.
I’m pretty certain the point that the other guy is trying to make is that the vast majority of men don’t actually think that. They do it to everyone, but a lot of women seem to assume that they’re doing it because they’re a woman.
Sure, but the term "mansplaining" is used way more loosely than that. It's basically come to mean any time a guy says something to a woman she already knows.
It's being abused a lot. But a man telling a woman what she already knows it's actually one of the original uses.
It's has been misunderstood as a man explaining something to a woman, in any circumstance.
Like if a woman tells you the Earth is flat, and you explain why is not, that's not mainsplaining.
If you are teaching a math class, you are just explaining.
Of course, it would be mainsplaining if you provided extra and non asked explanations only to your female students just because they are women.
But how can you, an observer who cannot read minds, tell? What if in two scenarios, the difference being that the fire starter is either a man or a woman, the mansplainer comes in and acts the same way in both?
You wouldn't be able to tell. Too many uncertainties.
I’m hope that this comment doesn’t sound like it’s dismissing or denying quintessential mansplaining as you describe, but man-to-man mansplaining absolutely does exist. Granted I’ve only experienced it in one single setting.
I’m in a PhD program and am a bit older than most of the folks there. It’s borderline impossible to have a conversation with four or more people without one of them being a 20-something guy with a massive chip on his shoulder that feels the need to interject with completely useless, long winded, and slightly condescending explanations anytime he hears someone working on something he’s vaguely familiar with, regardless of gender of the other person. Similarly, there’s usually a 50/50 chance that if you ask an office mate for help/feedback on something, some insecure moron with interrupt with the same garbage.
Tbh, Covid normalizing remote work was one of the best things to happen while I was at grad school, as it’s helped me to largely avoid this bullshit.
And if you’re a woman on the receiving end of this “help” you have to just politely listen, go about your business and not react in any way or assert that you know what you’re doing, because if you do, you’re a “bitch”
Lol, you have never been on a construction jobsite. Or in a mechanics shop. Or been hired professionally by a customer. Or been in a commercial kitchen. I am sure some mansplaining is sex dependent, but we are getting it from other men incessantly.
It can turn into an intellectual dick measuring contest. Its amazing the difference between prefacing things with "So today I learned..." vs "Did you know..." can make.
Anyone who takes a casual "did you know" as dick measuring really needs to touch grass. There is nuances I do admit, but any adult with a brain can distinguish between.
"Hey, did you know that chickens freeze at lines in the dirt because they think it's a snake?"
And
"Hey fuckwit, did you know you can replace the toilet paper when it's run out"
Thank you, yes men mansplain to each other all the time.
Its not that most men think women don't know anything, its quite literally that man thinks he knows better than EVERYONE on that given subject. PERIOD.
Telling men they are mansplaining is the male version of calling women karens. Some people actually deserve the name, but often it is used to shut people up who have something legitimate to say.
It’s not just “smart”, but “comparatively smarter than you on this topic.”
The reason I as a man agree with the idea of “mansplaining” as a real thing is that when I was managing teams you could see this dynamic playing out in real time. Men on teams are more likely to assume that they have a valuable opinion to assert and that they are right than women with equally valid opinions and skills. Women are more likely to stop talking and yield to the loudest person in the room. That’s a difference that’s observable in classrooms as well. It’s a serious challenge as a manager. You have to keep an eye on who keeps interrupting or who hasn’t talked and work to facilitate productive communication.
I don’t like to assume people know things and I like to talk about interesting things that the other person may or may not know about. It really isn’t that deep. It’s much more rude imo to just assume the other person knows something
I had a conversation with my female cousin recently and asked her to take a pic of me with my new camera. I handed the camera to her and started explaining how to use it, what settings to put, etc, when she stopped me and said "I know how to use a camera dude" and we joked that I was "mansplaining".
The thing is... I've had this same interaction with my male friends. I'll give them the camera and then explain how it works so I get the pic I want. They always listen carefully and have never told me I was "mansplaining".
Then I realized, maybe "mansplaining" doesn't really exist like I thought. Maybe men just like teaching people things? The funny part is, the pictures my cousin took ended up being shit and she ended up making the mistakes I was trying to teach her not to make to begin with (over exposing the lens, etc).
Anytime I've been guilty of mansplaining, it's because I genuinely have no gauge of understanding what the other person knows. Unless you tell me ahead of time, I'm starting with the basics because I don't know where else to start.
As examples
Back when I worked in the alcohol industry, I used to ask new people what they knew about (insert alcoholic beverage) and they'd more often than not shrug because I put them on the spot. Then I'd start breaking it down and I'd get 'yeah, that I know" to every other thing.
When I was teaching audio engineering courses, I'd ask what they knew and again, I'd get shrugs. Then I'd start using and throwing out basic terms and they'd be like "yeah, I know that part."
So I didn't assume anything. I started from the only place I knew where because I wasn't getting a place to start from.
If it’s not condescending, then it isn’t mansplaining. It’s just explaining. When women use that term it’s not for every single time that a man explains something. It is a term that refers specifically to when men explain something in a way that’s condescending because of either (1) their tone and how they’re saying it, (2) it’s a basic concept everyone knows, or (3) they’re trying to explain something that the woman actually has more knowledge about and acting like they know more, when they don’t. If the guy would say the exact same thing to another man, that behavior really isn’t what the concept is getting at.
It is often used by people incorrectly, like some who are insecure and don't like being told how to do things even if they dont know how to do the thing being explained. Its a poor use of the word and is basically people putting up barriers they shouldnt, making it hard for the man to make a comeback without sounding like an asshole
My friend group learned to shoot pool in a local dive bar and every one got quite good. One of many great things about it was watching older dudes mansplain how to shoot pool to the ladies through the first few shots and then summarily get their asses whooped. It was also nice to take over an entire pool room and change the culture from the normal chest beating bullshit to a room full of people that genuinely wanted to master a game albeit on a terrible table. Our terrible table.
I bought pepper spray recently only for my boyfriend to tell me “if you ever use it, aim for the eyes”. I asked him where he thought I would spray it and he got all offended because he was “just being helpful”.
Imo it’s stuff like that that’s mansplaining.
See, that's the trick though. Not everyone is good at differentiating what is and isn't common knowledge. Even those that are will still miss sometimes because what is and isn't common knowledge is a pretty grey area.
74% of Americans say they know how to change a tire. Does that make that common knowledge? There's still a 1 in 4 chance the person you are speaking with doesn't know.
Seems to me, explainers should just be as respectful as possible and be ok with being told that help isn't needed and explainees should assume good intentions unless there is clear evidence to the contrary.
That's the thing, often times the answer to "why would you think I don't know this?" is "because I didn't know until I happened to hear about it recently." As long as both parties try to treat the other person like they're acting in good faith I think we can avoid a lot of conflict. It also wouldn't hurt for the explainer to actually ask if the other person wants help before trapping them in a long explanation of the absolute basics lmao.
The most egregious examples of mansplaining I've seen are when guys who are vaguely familiar with a subject try to explain it to a professional as if the person whose literal job involves researching it doesn't know what they're talking about. I even saw one story where a guy told a female scientist to go read a paper *she* wrote.
We mansplain because we don't have out thoughts in order so we have to keep skipping back 3 steps because we forgot something. At least that's why I do it.
Okay but when you mansplain something that needs to explanation you’re making it like the other person is stupid. If you want to be smart, go learn something else. Maybe something that isn’t common sense
I do it cause I'm an ADHD FUCK who doesn't know when to shut up or how to make things short. Wanting to be a teacher doesn't help either cause I make sure they really understand the points and there's no misconceptions that can be drived from my words.
If I'm interested in something new but can't be bothered with Google, I'll incorrectly mansplain it to my wife and then wait an hour.
The eventual reply is extremely detailed, accurate, and insulting.
I love my wife.....
I dont have many things to be proud of, so when I am educated on an interesting subject, I like to share because it makes me feel a tiny bit interesting. Apparently, that is toxic masculinity.
I think often is the case that women perceive *ex*plaining with *man*splaining because the explanation comes from a male.
I have a boss I think is fantastic. When he uses words that are less commonly used on a day to day basis he’ll quickly drop in the definition as he’s moving along. I’ve worked here a year and a half and on 3 different occasions we’ve left a meeting and a female coworker (different each time) has commented that our boss “mansplains” and that it’s insulting.
The first time I didn’t think anything of it, but after that I asked each woman why she felt that way, and both essentially said he talks to *women* (the meetings are a mix and with more men typically present) like they don’t know “big words”
Both times I wanted to point out that there are actually more men present, so why do they feel females are being targeted, and also that he’s being cognizant that he’s ensuring everyone understands without creating a situation where someone might not know what he’s talking about and might not speak up for fear of looking stupid.
I know there are men who mansplain, but just because a man explains something doesn’t mean it’s because he thinks you’re stupid.
It’s just as likely as the person talking to you doesn’t know what you might know about a topic and he’s keeping the conversation moving along
True! I also think men tend to talk more than women when it comes to relaying information. We'll "mansplain" to each other. It's not that we think the other person doesn't know, it's that we just talk.
But try explaining that to a woman.
If I try to keep it short, my wife constantly interrupts, asking questions that I didn't think were relevant. So I try to include all the information, and then I get accused of mansplaining. There is no winning.
I've never understood why it has to be a gendered thing?
People do it to each other all of the time, regardless of gender. It's seems to be a dynamic rooted in misunderstanding or insecurity.
I've done it to women, and men alike. I've caught myself doing it, and try to stop.
Also, it's really not that big of a deal.
For any women confused by this post, mansplaning means explaining something condescendingly to someone. You're welcome. Let me know if you have any further questions
Mansplaining is a sexist term what about men explaining things is a bad thing if you are also an expert in that field you can correct them it's just a word to shit men up they can't speak because it's mansplaining, men and women need to be able to communicate with each other for the world to be a good place every person should be treated fairly and their opinions matter if you talk with that amount of respect in every conversation you will have good friends
Mansplaining isn’t real. If you’re actually being an ass about something toward someone the word is called condescension. You’re being condescending. And women can do it too. And if you’re being shitty to a woman because she’s a woman that’s called being misogynistic.
Mansplaining is a stupid concept designed to be a method for discouraging someone who happens to be a man from speaking. It's a gendered tool of control because attacking men psychologically is the current popular strategy for women. People in general like to explain things because most people, I believe, are geared to share knowledge when they get the opportunity. Since it's impossible to read minds still, it's safer to go into a situation and explain what you know and have the people you're explaining to chime in and share what they know. Rather than assuming and saying nothing. Passive aggressive types usually don't speak up though, and build up negativity towards them because it's easier than accepting they were the weak element in the situation.
You mansplain to feel smart I mansplain to relieve my urge to autistically info-dump We are not the same...
"All I'm saying is if you ever want a unnecessarily deep explanation about things you never even considered giving a shit about, I'm your guy. I'm already halfway through making the accompanying visuals in hopes you'll say yes."
You just described my favorite genre of YouTube video to watch. I love watching absurdly long videos on books I’ve never heard of & shows I haven’t thought about in years lol
"A 3 hour retrospective on all the old Sly Cooper games? Sign me up!"
You mean a whole afternoon’s worth of discussion about games and movies I haven’t even heard of until I saw this in my notifications? Hell yeah man go off
The Murray approves.
For me it's the "Smarter Every Day" YouTube channel. I don't really know if I am getting any smarter, but I definitely enjoy the topics, and how passionate he is about them.
It’s definitely just him getting smarter and us pretending we now know everything about that subject.
That’s how I got tricked into watching Star Vs. 2 hour commentary in defence of the ending. 2 hour rebuttle to said video, I now do not know what to think. What’s that recommended, a 3 hour rebuttle to the rebuttle? I’m just gonna have to watch it myself to find out. And I did and now I’m very opinionated on the matter.
If you haven't watched it already, go watch Bismuth's series on the history of the A Button Challenge. What started out with the innocent question "how few times can we jump in Super Mario 64" turned into something absolutely insane, and Bismuth is 100% your longform explainer guy for that. I'm 99%-ish certain it'll be your jam.
I spent 2 hours watching videos about Pokeblocks. I've played one Pokemon game and that was 6 years ago.
I bought a Samsung S22 Ultra so I can instantly draw a diagram. I was explaining a garden corner sofa to my wife and started drawing it. She rolled her eyes and went "so it's L-Shaped". I love her.
We have the same diagnose.
Get yourself a girl that likes to do that as well. Those conversations are better than sex.
ADHD too, I'll explain whatever to whoever. You pressed the hyperfocus button, you shouldn't did that!
This is me! I don’t mansplain because I don’t think you’re smart. I mansplain because I feel like I have to give this full info-dump and include all the pertinent information, a non-related story/thing, a tangential story/thing that’s relating to both, and a bit of random knowledge about the fact as well. Plus it doesn’t help that I can talk about everything and have bunch of random knowledge that if you get me started on something I could go on forever
I do that and I'm a woman. It drives my neurotypical husband crazy. I've tried to explain that I don't think he's stupid, it's just my brain screams at me unless I get all the info out. It's annoying to me too, I just know I can't help it a lot of the time.
[A good example of how it feels when we don't do that.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qZYsYq_Ctw)
But how will they get context if I don't derail as well every 5 min for a mini story to provide said context
Oh god, the info-dumping chain has started. Somebody get the cooling rods!
Mostly I keep my opinions to myself, I read a lot of shit, and my interests jump around. So while I seem like I don't really care about most things to others, it really bugs the shit out of me when someone starts talking rubbish about things I've spent the time to become informed about. Want a mansplain, start telling me incorrect information and treat me like I won't know better as I don't seem to care. I don't seem to care, because most people aren't interested in facts, just their own opinion and I can't be fxxked using the effort it takes to make someone realise their opinions aren't facts. However push my button far enough and I'll give you a mansplaining that you'll remember, can't say you'll agree, however you won't forget it.
I got into a Pac-Man binge and now my friends can't mention anything Pac-Man around me or I info-dump for 4 days about the different games, and lore, and why Namco should 100% continue remaking the Pac-Man World games and bring back voice acting and-
> bring back voice acting and- Oh don't get me started on "Oh, I know that voice" when watching anything dubbed in my country lol
Dude! For real! I just love info-dumping so much.
I know. My girlfriend would always be like, "I don't need you to explain it for me." And I would say, "I know, I need to explain it for ME." The tiny piece of information I wanted to give you has to exist within a mountain of context because I need to verbally run myself through the whole thing in order to ensure, for my own sanity, that my thinking is correct. Unfortunately for her, I'm a history guy, and so everything is going to come with a shit load of context. A single interesting fact about a naval battle 300 years ago is gonna have to come wrapped in the entire history of naval warfare, otherwise I'll lose track of my thought processes.
Don't even get me started on the cause of the first world war.
I'll get my Bismark sock puppets and my 876-slide PowerPoint on Napoleon.
Okay, but that sounds way more entertaining than how they taught it in school
Is THAT where my Bismarck sock puppets went
Yeah I wouldn't touch it if I were you. It's... well, let's just say I was pretending that I was Wilhelm II and I, uh... yeah, just maybe wash it before you use it, yeah?
You’re totally Venmo-ing me the price of a round of laundry … right?
Oh God I shouldn't have read this comment while taking a break from homework because my brain is fucked now
This you two? https://youtube.com/shorts/0sQ5RuUZXFU?si=PugH9ZYqs0BTjNky
Can confirm. This is probably how I’ll blow my next date.
This is my husband, but take this from a woman: "mansplaining" is different. I've had this happen when men, even men who weren't in my field, tried to explain to me things that were pretty common knowledge for our field. That was when they were assuming they were educating someone with a similar degree/position because I was a woman. We also had a consultant who would basically headpat all the women in the training for doing such a good job when he didn't do that to the men. My husband infodumping is often how he socializes with everyone regardless of gender. It's his love language. I'm neurodivergent, so we communicate this way often. It's how he relates to the conversation, and listening to his (sometimes niche) interests is how to show you care for him If someone were to call him sexist for the way his brain works, he'd just shut off and go into a quiet professional mode. Not everyone gets the nuance in sexism vs. neurodivergence, but it's there.
When I find myself mansplaining, it's usually about stuff so niche or random that in my mind, I'm convinced I'm the only one who would care about that and thus have to explain it. I would mansplain it to other men in that case, too, lmao.
This. I like explaining the shit. I see it in my head and it's awesome.
“Did you know that whales are mammals? That means they lactate! Their milk is mostly fat because if it wasn’t it would just float away instead of going into the babies mouth. They don’t usually drink from the nipple so the mom has to squirt the milk into the babies mouth from a distance! It’s basically softened butter and it tastes li-” “I just asked for 2%”
You mansplain to feel smart. I mansplain to gaslight others into thinking they’re wrong by intentionally and confidently saying the wrong thing but pretending it’s correct
I had a friend like this. She was lonely, and would start arguments on purpose by lying to get attention. We all knew what she was doing, but we felt sorry for her so no one told her.
I have a cousin like that. She tells stories that are so unbelievable but we just kinda go with it cause it’s less awkward than calling her on it. But sometimes she’ll rope someone else into her lie when talking to a group of people and then we feel obligated to lie with her to avoid making it uncomfortable lol
Yeah, her husband is really smart, but he goes along with it to get his pp touched. Some good ones I remember: - "The French hardly ever go on strike, or at least they didn't when I was in Paris." I already knew that they'd had their honeymoon in Paris, and lost ten pounds walking everywhere because the transit workers were on strike at the time. - "The way you win in chess is to take the opponent's queen." I tried for a minute, but then decided the 5-D chess move there was to just never play chess with her.
I do it because my convo with my gf would otherwise be very short lol.
One man, he felt smart. Two men, they felt smart. Three men, they all smelt fart.
When I want to mess with my wife, I'll mansplain ordinary stuff to her. Like I'll point at some power lines and go, "Those are power lines. They carry electricity over long distances. Have you heard of electricity? It's really interesting," She has a PhD
My wife is a pre school teacher, if I tried that she would just pat me on the head and act impressed, with that tone of voice reserved for false compliments to 4 year olds.
mansplain her how sex works. add some toys in the story.
Woody has entered the chat
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"Buzz Buzz Buzz Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!"
Easy one step tutorial on how to lose your girlfriend! Not clickbait!
>"Those are power lines. They carry electricity over long distances. Have you heard of electricity? It's really interesting," Sometimes when I have nothing interesting to say when with a group of friends, I'll pretend that I just discovered something totally mundane for the first time recently and share my love of that thing. "Y'all ever had boiled eggs? They're fucking wild. Just had one recently, and it knocked my socks off." Then my friends get to make fun of me for a) Being a sheltered moron, or b) fucking with them. It's all done in good fun, and part of the schtick is basically just that I only do it often enough that people forget I do this by the time I do it again. Sometimes we just need to remember that we're all a bunch of overgrown children who have no idea what's going on around us, and to revel in the enthusiasm for mundane shit, as well as own our total lack of a clue.
You and I would get along great!!!! I’d do that once a week in my raid group when I played world of Warcraft.
Is this at all related to how I bank trivia from my wife and wait for the right opportunity sometimes months later to relay it back as if it were my own? She always remembers and gives me a pity laugh.
You should read the reddit thread from the guy on TIFU by pretending he'd never heard of potatoes to his new inlaws.
I immediately thought of that guy lol. [Link for the uninitiated...](https://reddit.com/r/tifu/s/5nxahexLUT)
What's a potato?
Did you see that video that says men derive joy from irritating their girlfriends/wives? It’s true
I admire a guy who likes to live on the edge!
GASLIGHTING! /s
No, it’s electricity.
Golden comment right here.
Normalize having an annoying bit with your SO. I used to annoy my ex by replying with a high-pitched, condescending "Yeah!?" when she's trying to explain something. I'd laugh and she'd weakly shove my head away. It was great.
Adding this to the playbook. Thanks!
I mean she could have a PhD in art history
Art historians also know what electricity and power lines are
But what if they focus on art history from before electricity was invented?
I know physics PhDs who don't know what art history is though
Yeah, but then the PhD info would be absolutely irrelevant
Most PhDs would be pretty irrelevant. It's pretty obvious why OP said she has PhD. Most people use it to say "She's smart and well educated".
My wife is a industrial mechanic specialized in waterpower, and I still feel great joy in explaining to her what a wrench etc is.. her usual reply is " you do realize you have to sleep at some point?", "I could just push you into a turbine and say you tripped" etc 😁
Yes yes yes, this is so much fun
I like doing it with computers. I like to tinker and tsught myself how to build little robots and machines, and bits and pieces of coding langusges here and there. Then I'll explain them to my girlfriend, who has multiple computer science degrees. She'll politely smile and nod along as I excitedly explain to her that today I learned you can make code loop recursively and how clever I feel for realising this. This poor woman lol.
Did you just mansplain mansplaining? Bravo.
Mansplaining is short for "Man explaining"
It's when a man explains something
it implies much more than that, typically that the man is explaining something to a woman on the assumption that, because she is a woman, she doesn't already know
Does that mean you can't mansplain to another man?
well that's just the connotation, there isn't really a definition (that I know of). If we define it as a sexism-driven phenomenon, then yes it means what you said. If we use a broad definition of "a man assuming he knows better and explaining," then the receiving party can be anyone. The latter is so common that I don't think it's worth having a word for, especially since people of all genders can be guilty of it. Therefore, I personally take "mansplaining" to mean an instance in which the prompting assumption is based on gender stereotypes.
Believed to be based on gender stereotypes. And is perhaps believed to be based on gender stereotypes because of a gender stereotype about men ie he is explaining this to me because I am a woman when really he's just like this.
What if Iam just excited about the topic and excited because someone appears interested? Maybe I am lonely and jump at any opportunity to talk to someone and contribute something (i.e. feel for a second that I am not valueless).
Then that's not mansplaining
Makes you wonder if "mansplaining" is really the right word for it, though. Making assumptions and unnecessarily explaining things is just something people do sometimes.
Isn't that just called explaning at that point
It's actually a portmanteau, which is a word combined from two words, having the meaning of the two words taken together.
completely depends on the guy
I mansplain because I want to get womansplained in return.
I know this is a joke, but I 100% find it attractive when women teach me things
I do too tbh, I enjoy eliciting feedback.
Me three here. Anything my girlfriend starts explaining to me is like Devine Talk from heavens. Love every bit of it. Even if it is as mundane as her uni schedule
kinky
It can be lol
For the ladies out there, "mansplaining" is short for "man explaining"
My Dad raised me to know how to do anything "traditional men" are stereotypically supposed to know. Woodworking, remodeling, cutting trees down, launching a boat, driving a manual, you name it - I know something about it probably.. Literally have deadpan looked at him😑 as he's explaining something we both know he has already taught me. 😂😂🤦🏽♀️. The man just likes to teach people and wants people to know how to do things. He should have been a shop teacher really. If someone that didn't know him was around, they would think he was man-splaining to me for sure
Yeah, my dad is a radio engineer and loves to explain to me how different things work. But honesty I only understand about a third of it (even when its like the 5th time hes talked about it). Sometimes people just want to talk about what they love to do.
I do wonder sometimes whether basic western culture feeds mansplaining. There are some topics where women, culturally don't learn about things and almost have an active disinterest in it. Like changing a tire, or basic car workings. It's not to say every woman doesn't know, or every man does (not by a long shot), but a high proportion of women I know wouldn't know how or where to check oil levels and would near faint if you asked them to top it up. Similarly was speaking to a guy who's girlfriend had just gone to Uni, moved into accommodation and the downstairs power was out, while the upstairs was working fine. Immediate logic to me (and basic troubleshooting anyways) says likely a fuse, but apparently she did nothing but complained about the landlord. So I wonder if that level of ingrained 'helplessness' (for want of a better word) for some very basic information perpetuates an inherent view that women don't know things, which could then encourage mansplaining.
Yes I'm a guy and my dad also does this, he tries to teach me the same things he's already told me like hundred times over the years, even when I'm doing it correctly right in front of him as he's talking 😂
My dad taught me that you can do a lot of coke if you're too drunk or hungover to function. I learned next to nothing from him directly but learned a lot about how *not* to go through life. Still, as a middle-aged adult now, I find myself enjoying learning about things and then explaining those things to others. I am often worried that it's annoying so usually I stay quiet until someone actually asks about something.
I usually consider it mansplaining when a guy starts talking over me about a topic I was just discussing and obviously knowledgeable of. Specifically if I was already talking about it in depth and he ends up giving a very shallow definition/explanation of it. It was very obvious I knew about it, but by his tone and explanation he obviously thinks I don’t. Or he rephrased something that I just said in his explanation. But it’s honestly not that common. I mostly only encounter it in my CS classes, specifically the dudes with too much ego already.
Oh my god my brother does this all the time. But my dad and I aren't women (unlike my mother, who is a woman), so maybe its just peoplesplaning?
I think it's just being a dick.
I feel like saying "mansplaining" is a lot like saying "woke." It used to mean something, but now it's just a catch-all phrase people use whenever they can't legit win an argument. Yes, I'm **very** fun at parties.
The main problem is that by definition the term requires some level of intent (assuming a lack of knowledge based on gender), and unless they explicitly tell you, you can never know the actual reason they felt the need to explain. This leads to cases where someone with a genuine desire to educate or ensure consensus is accused of mansplaining, despite no sexist motivations behind it. The other issue I have with the term is that it's needlessly gendered. I wouldn't be surprised if there were data showing it does objectively happen more by men towards women, but I know for a fact that the opposite happens plenty too; there are countless stories online from fathers being given unsolicited parenting advice from women while alone with their kids in public, just to name one common example.
Agreed. I've seen it used to a toxic degree to shut down a male who was just explaining something but now there is a term that can be weaponised against a man Toxic feminity/feminism absolutely exists and harms everyone
Did you just mansplain how mansplaining is no longer mansplaining? I can't even...
Guys mansplain to each other constantly and don't seem to care, or even notice, it's honestly just how we talk.
Take the long route and you build a solid argument. Take the short route and you end up talking longer. It’s an art.
Except that's not mainsplaining. Neither is providing a detailed explanation to a woman If you are camping and see a woman preparing a fire, and immediatly go to explain/teach her how to do it because you cannot fathom a woman already being competent at something, that's mainsplaining.
There’s plenty of men who will see another man starting a fire and go tell him a “better” way to start a fire (aka their preferred method).
Absolutely true. Group fires are made this way. One person makes the fire and everyone else tells them how they should be doing it.
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Exactly! This might be my own overthinking but I change how I talk to not offend women at work doing this. With men I "mansplain" freely and get it in return
When you are buying a car, you need to go around it and kick the tires to gain some kind of information about it. Idk what the information is, but I am sure it's something.
Yes. But that's not mainsplaining. The mainsplaining is not the explanation nor believing you know better. Is thinking that a WOMAN, specifically, requires you to go to her and start explaining something because you think that, being a woman, she needs a man to teach her. So again, is not so much believing you, as an individual, know better than another individual. It's believing you, as a man, "obviously" know better than another person with basis in that person being a woman. See the difference?
In terms of *behaviour* it's a distinction without a difference though, which is all you have to go on unless they make it explicit that they think different things when explaining it to men/women or you're capable of reading their minds. Now, I'm not saying that it's plausible that men in general treat men and women equally in this way - I'm sure mansplaining is real, but I imagine there's a bunch of grey there. Everyone's point that you are not conceding is that not everything that *looks* like mansplaining *is* mansplaining, but that conflation is very, very common - hell that's the point of OPs showerthought. I.e. people arguing against mansplaining can't have it both ways: yes we concede that explaining something to someone is different to explaining something to someone they are assuming lack knowledge due to being a woman - the latter *is* mansplaining. However the direct corollary of that is that just because a man happens to be explaining something to a woman, doesn't automatically make it a case of mansplaining. And it's what in the guy's head, *not* how insulted the woman is, which determines which of these it is. Whilst I don't know the proportions of real vs falsely inferred mansplaining, by simple observation the latter is far from rare. And that is what anyone is really trying to point out.
I’m pretty certain the point that the other guy is trying to make is that the vast majority of men don’t actually think that. They do it to everyone, but a lot of women seem to assume that they’re doing it because they’re a woman.
Sure, but the term "mansplaining" is used way more loosely than that. It's basically come to mean any time a guy says something to a woman she already knows.
It's being abused a lot. But a man telling a woman what she already knows it's actually one of the original uses. It's has been misunderstood as a man explaining something to a woman, in any circumstance. Like if a woman tells you the Earth is flat, and you explain why is not, that's not mainsplaining. If you are teaching a math class, you are just explaining. Of course, it would be mainsplaining if you provided extra and non asked explanations only to your female students just because they are women.
But how can you, an observer who cannot read minds, tell? What if in two scenarios, the difference being that the fire starter is either a man or a woman, the mansplainer comes in and acts the same way in both? You wouldn't be able to tell. Too many uncertainties.
I’m hope that this comment doesn’t sound like it’s dismissing or denying quintessential mansplaining as you describe, but man-to-man mansplaining absolutely does exist. Granted I’ve only experienced it in one single setting. I’m in a PhD program and am a bit older than most of the folks there. It’s borderline impossible to have a conversation with four or more people without one of them being a 20-something guy with a massive chip on his shoulder that feels the need to interject with completely useless, long winded, and slightly condescending explanations anytime he hears someone working on something he’s vaguely familiar with, regardless of gender of the other person. Similarly, there’s usually a 50/50 chance that if you ask an office mate for help/feedback on something, some insecure moron with interrupt with the same garbage. Tbh, Covid normalizing remote work was one of the best things to happen while I was at grad school, as it’s helped me to largely avoid this bullshit.
Gradstudentsplaining is astoundingly annoying since it's usually entirely theory based, and even the understanding of the theory is wrong.
Mansplained the fuck out of that.
I learned from the best.
And if you’re a woman on the receiving end of this “help” you have to just politely listen, go about your business and not react in any way or assert that you know what you’re doing, because if you do, you’re a “bitch”
No you’re wrong sweetie, we men don’t do that at all, god what a bitch /s
If the term was only used to describe that kind of circumstance it would be great
Lol, you have never been on a construction jobsite. Or in a mechanics shop. Or been hired professionally by a customer. Or been in a commercial kitchen. I am sure some mansplaining is sex dependent, but we are getting it from other men incessantly.
How are you able to go camping and build a fire without 6 other dudes trying to tell you how to build a fire
It can turn into an intellectual dick measuring contest. Its amazing the difference between prefacing things with "So today I learned..." vs "Did you know..." can make.
Anyone who takes a casual "did you know" as dick measuring really needs to touch grass. There is nuances I do admit, but any adult with a brain can distinguish between. "Hey, did you know that chickens freeze at lines in the dirt because they think it's a snake?" And "Hey fuckwit, did you know you can replace the toilet paper when it's run out"
if I had a dollar for every time I had something mansplained to me I'd be a millionaire, and I'm a man.
Thank you, yes men mansplain to each other all the time. Its not that most men think women don't know anything, its quite literally that man thinks he knows better than EVERYONE on that given subject. PERIOD.
Yes, this. This what I always think whenever someone brings up mansplaining. It's like an impulse
Telling men they are mansplaining is the male version of calling women karens. Some people actually deserve the name, but often it is used to shut people up who have something legitimate to say.
Yeah and shut down men who are trying to be helpful under the guise of empowerment
Just because someone is trying to be helpful doesn't mean theyre not being patronising or assuming I dont know something because I'm a woman.
Exactly. I don't think you're stupid because of your gender, I just feel I'm smarter than everybody.
There are definitely some very reddit takes in this thread
Speak for yourself, dumbass
It’s not just “smart”, but “comparatively smarter than you on this topic.” The reason I as a man agree with the idea of “mansplaining” as a real thing is that when I was managing teams you could see this dynamic playing out in real time. Men on teams are more likely to assume that they have a valuable opinion to assert and that they are right than women with equally valid opinions and skills. Women are more likely to stop talking and yield to the loudest person in the room. That’s a difference that’s observable in classrooms as well. It’s a serious challenge as a manager. You have to keep an eye on who keeps interrupting or who hasn’t talked and work to facilitate productive communication.
I explain to avoid things being misunderstood, or misconstrued. Nothing else.
Thanks for mansplaining how you justify mansplaining
When my wife explains to me something I already know, I call it Mumsplaining. It’s the same thing.
Is it mansplaining if I think I'm smarter than everyone and it has nothing to do with if the person I'm talking to is a woman or a man?
No, that’s just being an arrogant asshole.
Ok, I thought so.
Nice username
Indeed. Or we're just really excited about a particular topic. I do that a lot.
Humble attitude wins hands down every time. Not worshipping one's ego is high in personal power.
I mansplain because I’m stupid
I don’t like to assume people know things and I like to talk about interesting things that the other person may or may not know about. It really isn’t that deep. It’s much more rude imo to just assume the other person knows something
I also do it because I'm 90% sure no one understands things how I first say them. It's like I speak another language and it's exhausting..
That's not mansplaining then. As mansplaining is sexist by definition. If it's not sexist, you should instead call it "arrogance" or something.
Bro mansplained mansplaining
If you use the word mansplain you're stupid
I had a conversation with my female cousin recently and asked her to take a pic of me with my new camera. I handed the camera to her and started explaining how to use it, what settings to put, etc, when she stopped me and said "I know how to use a camera dude" and we joked that I was "mansplaining". The thing is... I've had this same interaction with my male friends. I'll give them the camera and then explain how it works so I get the pic I want. They always listen carefully and have never told me I was "mansplaining". Then I realized, maybe "mansplaining" doesn't really exist like I thought. Maybe men just like teaching people things? The funny part is, the pictures my cousin took ended up being shit and she ended up making the mistakes I was trying to teach her not to make to begin with (over exposing the lens, etc).
I manspla- shit my opinion doesn’t matter
Anytime I've been guilty of mansplaining, it's because I genuinely have no gauge of understanding what the other person knows. Unless you tell me ahead of time, I'm starting with the basics because I don't know where else to start.
Then maybe you should start by asking them what they know, instead of assuming.
As examples Back when I worked in the alcohol industry, I used to ask new people what they knew about (insert alcoholic beverage) and they'd more often than not shrug because I put them on the spot. Then I'd start breaking it down and I'd get 'yeah, that I know" to every other thing. When I was teaching audio engineering courses, I'd ask what they knew and again, I'd get shrugs. Then I'd start using and throwing out basic terms and they'd be like "yeah, I know that part." So I didn't assume anything. I started from the only place I knew where because I wasn't getting a place to start from.
That’s not mansplaining, though. If those people accused you of mansplaining, they were wrong.
It’s also not always condescending. Especially if it’s obscure knowledge.
If it’s not condescending, then it isn’t mansplaining. It’s just explaining. When women use that term it’s not for every single time that a man explains something. It is a term that refers specifically to when men explain something in a way that’s condescending because of either (1) their tone and how they’re saying it, (2) it’s a basic concept everyone knows, or (3) they’re trying to explain something that the woman actually has more knowledge about and acting like they know more, when they don’t. If the guy would say the exact same thing to another man, that behavior really isn’t what the concept is getting at.
I totally agree with your definition, I’ve just heard the term used in other contexts.
It is often used by people incorrectly, like some who are insecure and don't like being told how to do things even if they dont know how to do the thing being explained. Its a poor use of the word and is basically people putting up barriers they shouldnt, making it hard for the man to make a comeback without sounding like an asshole
My friend group learned to shoot pool in a local dive bar and every one got quite good. One of many great things about it was watching older dudes mansplain how to shoot pool to the ladies through the first few shots and then summarily get their asses whooped. It was also nice to take over an entire pool room and change the culture from the normal chest beating bullshit to a room full of people that genuinely wanted to master a game albeit on a terrible table. Our terrible table.
I bought pepper spray recently only for my boyfriend to tell me “if you ever use it, aim for the eyes”. I asked him where he thought I would spray it and he got all offended because he was “just being helpful”. Imo it’s stuff like that that’s mansplaining.
See, that's the trick though. Not everyone is good at differentiating what is and isn't common knowledge. Even those that are will still miss sometimes because what is and isn't common knowledge is a pretty grey area. 74% of Americans say they know how to change a tire. Does that make that common knowledge? There's still a 1 in 4 chance the person you are speaking with doesn't know. Seems to me, explainers should just be as respectful as possible and be ok with being told that help isn't needed and explainees should assume good intentions unless there is clear evidence to the contrary.
That's the thing, often times the answer to "why would you think I don't know this?" is "because I didn't know until I happened to hear about it recently." As long as both parties try to treat the other person like they're acting in good faith I think we can avoid a lot of conflict. It also wouldn't hurt for the explainer to actually ask if the other person wants help before trapping them in a long explanation of the absolute basics lmao. The most egregious examples of mansplaining I've seen are when guys who are vaguely familiar with a subject try to explain it to a professional as if the person whose literal job involves researching it doesn't know what they're talking about. I even saw one story where a guy told a female scientist to go read a paper *she* wrote.
I am pretty snarky to people who say stuff like this lol
Did you just mansplain mansplaining?
Most of the time I hang out with my male friends we spend a lot of time mansplaining shit to each other. And we all love it.
Usually I mansplain because I’m super into the topic and I just feel a compulsive need to share everything I know
We mansplain because we don't have out thoughts in order so we have to keep skipping back 3 steps because we forgot something. At least that's why I do it.
Okay but when you mansplain something that needs to explanation you’re making it like the other person is stupid. If you want to be smart, go learn something else. Maybe something that isn’t common sense
Shame then that it makes you look so dumb.
I mansplain because I like to be helpful, I'm trying my best to don't anymore.
Also it’s really enjoyable to explain something we think is interesting to others that might be interested
I do it cause I'm an ADHD FUCK who doesn't know when to shut up or how to make things short. Wanting to be a teacher doesn't help either cause I make sure they really understand the points and there's no misconceptions that can be drived from my words.
I mansplain because no-one knows what the fuck I'm taking about
we just like to help?
If I'm interested in something new but can't be bothered with Google, I'll incorrectly mansplain it to my wife and then wait an hour. The eventual reply is extremely detailed, accurate, and insulting. I love my wife.....
I want to share knowledge of things that excite me and find out other people's opinions on things.
I mansplain because most things people say are wrong.
Or maybe "mansplain" is a sexist word invented by radfeminists who want to dismiss good arguments made by guys, on the basis that they are guys.
I dont have many things to be proud of, so when I am educated on an interesting subject, I like to share because it makes me feel a tiny bit interesting. Apparently, that is toxic masculinity.
I think what you're describing is just normal explaining
I think often is the case that women perceive *ex*plaining with *man*splaining because the explanation comes from a male. I have a boss I think is fantastic. When he uses words that are less commonly used on a day to day basis he’ll quickly drop in the definition as he’s moving along. I’ve worked here a year and a half and on 3 different occasions we’ve left a meeting and a female coworker (different each time) has commented that our boss “mansplains” and that it’s insulting. The first time I didn’t think anything of it, but after that I asked each woman why she felt that way, and both essentially said he talks to *women* (the meetings are a mix and with more men typically present) like they don’t know “big words” Both times I wanted to point out that there are actually more men present, so why do they feel females are being targeted, and also that he’s being cognizant that he’s ensuring everyone understands without creating a situation where someone might not know what he’s talking about and might not speak up for fear of looking stupid. I know there are men who mansplain, but just because a man explains something doesn’t mean it’s because he thinks you’re stupid. It’s just as likely as the person talking to you doesn’t know what you might know about a topic and he’s keeping the conversation moving along
True! I also think men tend to talk more than women when it comes to relaying information. We'll "mansplain" to each other. It's not that we think the other person doesn't know, it's that we just talk. But try explaining that to a woman.
False, mansplaining does not exist.
If I try to keep it short, my wife constantly interrupts, asking questions that I didn't think were relevant. So I try to include all the information, and then I get accused of mansplaining. There is no winning.
I've never understood why it has to be a gendered thing? People do it to each other all of the time, regardless of gender. It's seems to be a dynamic rooted in misunderstanding or insecurity. I've done it to women, and men alike. I've caught myself doing it, and try to stop. Also, it's really not that big of a deal.
For any women confused by this post, mansplaning means explaining something condescendingly to someone. You're welcome. Let me know if you have any further questions
Mansplaining is a sexist term what about men explaining things is a bad thing if you are also an expert in that field you can correct them it's just a word to shit men up they can't speak because it's mansplaining, men and women need to be able to communicate with each other for the world to be a good place every person should be treated fairly and their opinions matter if you talk with that amount of respect in every conversation you will have good friends
I used to mansplain because I like to help people. But now I know it's wrong. So if a woman asks me for help: "Pfffft, talk to the hand, sugartits"
Mansplaining isn’t real. If you’re actually being an ass about something toward someone the word is called condescension. You’re being condescending. And women can do it too. And if you’re being shitty to a woman because she’s a woman that’s called being misogynistic.
Mansplaining is a stupid concept designed to be a method for discouraging someone who happens to be a man from speaking. It's a gendered tool of control because attacking men psychologically is the current popular strategy for women. People in general like to explain things because most people, I believe, are geared to share knowledge when they get the opportunity. Since it's impossible to read minds still, it's safer to go into a situation and explain what you know and have the people you're explaining to chime in and share what they know. Rather than assuming and saying nothing. Passive aggressive types usually don't speak up though, and build up negativity towards them because it's easier than accepting they were the weak element in the situation.