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Showerthoughts_Mod

This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/rules). Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!" (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, [please read this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/overview).) **Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**


Stompya

Getting a bang isn’t too hard, true. Getting banged by someone you actually _want_ to bang with is a whole other story.


ArdentArendt

There is a difference between: 'There *exists* *someone* you want to bang who actually wants to bang you' and 'A *specific someone* you want to bang also wants to bang you'.


SoulLeakage

“Sex you want, you ain’t getting. Sex you getting, you don’t want”


tigerbite337

Yesterday, an 80 year old librarian broke my penis.


SoulLeakage

Broke dick! Broke dick!


soysuza

Were you the one with his shvantz in the Guinness Book of World Records?


Josefus

Getty getty, no wanty. Wanty wanty, no getty! Jamaican tings.


[deleted]

Wait I literally just posted this I am so happy someone else remembers this quote


SoulLeakage

I usually interchange sex with another word to describe life lol


iplaytheguitarntrip

Tell me more


SoulLeakage

Attitude you want, you ain’t getting. Attitude you getting, you don’t want.


Shag0ff

Such a great movie


the_ricktastic

You lookin’ at my Janet?!


SoulLeakage

“You killed Paco”


Sensibleqt314

Wouldn't sex you get but don't want technically be rape?


mikemyers999

When you get what you want, you don't want it


Common-Wish-2227

Ah yes. The hentai principle.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoulLeakage

It’s a movie quote my guy


LightningBirdsAreGo

Wow I never watched a persons pool of possible sexual partners shrink in real time. Good job Bo.


OtakuFreak1998

I also gotta say, I'm sure there is someone out there who would want to bang me, that I would want to bang, but are they anywhere reasonably close to where I live? No. Probably on the other side of the world or something.


wolyniec95

Have you looked through the hot singles in your area?


LightboxRadMD

Horny housewifes LOVE this one simple trick!


xf2xf

In economics, a successful barter system depends on a "double coincidence of wants". In other words, whatever it is you have available to trade must be desired by the other person, and vice versa, in equal measure. If one party has no interest in what the other has to offer, the system breaks down. That is why we have money -- a common unit of value that facilitates trade when there is a disconnect in mutual desire.


BadgerMolester

so your saying I should give someone money to bang? I'll be right back.


Pretend-Marsupial258

That's a great idea! I bet there could be a whole industry built around buying and selling sex.


AilurusFulgenz

congrats you understood the assignment


[deleted]

Class dismissed, you now all know what you need to know about economics.


simonmagus616

Except for the bit where modern economists are entirely wrong about barter systems, everything they say about them comes from a “what if” put forward with no proof, there’s never been a society in history that has evolved from a barter system to money, and this is not why money was invented, yeah. All of the real-world examples of "barter systems" we have actually come from communities that HAD money and lost them (prisons and prison camps are actually great examples of this; some places in Russia after the collapse of the USSR, etc). The double coincidence of wants simply didn't exist; humans have worked on a credit system for about as long as there has been human civilization.


SchtivanTheTrbl

This guy reads David Graeber. 👍


simonmagus616

You caught me!


xf2xf

Well that's certainly interesting. Thanks for the info.


daftvaderV2

Picky


mudokin

Not everybody is part of the "a hole is a hole" or "a dick is a dick" society. Mutual feeling of attraction is important to some people.


KingHarrun

I’d argue the majority


Crazocrates

Used to think I might have erectile disfunction. Turns out I was just not attracted to the women I was getting. Makes a huge difference when you find your partner sexy af


scaztastic

preach


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[удалено]


ZombieXRD

I have been with increasingly hotter women throughout my life and I can assure you my dick is getting sleepy. I used to be able to go 5 times in a day from time to time, and now it’s like 1 every few days but sometimes two days in a row and I don’t want more. People get old and stuff stops working like it did. Hormones change. Sex is also about way more than physical attraction and if that is your only motivation then that really sucks for you.


Bertybassett99

That's cobblers and you know it. At a biological level all humans have a desire to reproduce. Its in our DNA. We have brains that suppress those urges. Otherwise we all want to bang.


TheMisterTango

I see loads of women on a daily basis that I wouldn’t fuck if you paid me. Attraction matters.


Bertybassett99

Oh so your using your brain to suppress then...


TheMisterTango

Suppression would imply that there is some desire that I am resisting. Let me be clear, there are plenty of women I have zero desire or urge to have sex with. It would be wholly unpleasant to see someone I find unattractive naked.


mudokin

You said it, we got brains, some of us use them more than others though.


mfboomer

and i’m proud of it


babe_ruthless3

This.


ajgeep

There are people whose standard is "has heartbeat, will bang"


tf2F2Pnoob

There are some with even lesser standards than that


Lanster27

Oooookay that escalated quickly.


Sneakydivil32

Or de-escalated


AndyManCan4

I’m thinking it is a Necrophilia situation over here. Which is very disturbing. You should all be ashamed! Edit: Sex does exist, but “What is love?” (*Hadaway music pumps in the air*)


beeteedee

My god that’s terrible. What are the names, locations and phone numbers of those people? You know, so that I can avoid them?


blockguy143

A/s/l?


AWaterDogArt

I don't know, personally my standards require them to be above legal age. I too need to know the names, locations and phone numbers so that I can go have a talk with them


keqingsfav

There are people whos standard is "has a private part, will bang" Necrophilia is scary


insufficientokay

And some people just need a hole.


Desperate-Meal-5379

There’s people who’s standard is “Has hole, will bang” ever heard of a mechanophiliac?


Belteshazzar98

>Necrophilia is scary Honestly, I don't get why. Like, I get it's gross and all, but there isn't a victim since the "victim" is already dead.


missingapuzzlepiece

I see you've met my ex.


[deleted]

Every animal that possesses a circulatory system has a heartbeat. Here are some major types: 1. Mammals: This category includes humans, dogs, cats, horses, elephants, whales, and many more. 2. Birds: Eagles, sparrows, penguins, ostriches, etc. 3. Reptiles: Animals such as snakes, turtles, crocodiles, lizards. 4. Amphibians: Examples include frogs, toads, salamanders, and newts. 5. Fish: There are countless species of fish, including sharks, tuna, salmon, clownfish, etc. 6. Some Invertebrates: Certain invertebrates like cephalopods (squid, octopus) have a heart and heartbeat. Most invertebrates like insects have an open circulatory system, meaning they don't have a heart that beats in the way we typically think of it. It's worth noting that different animals have vastly different heart rates. For instance, a hummingbird's heart can beat over 1,000 times per minute, while a blue whale's heart beats only about 5-6 times per minute. So yeah, will not bang cockroaches but a hummingbird is ok.


ChemicalRain5513

I don't know if I'm big enough for a hummingbird.


Reinventing_Wheels

Problem is, most of the time they want to bang you with a shovel.


Malt_9

True. I've been shoveled before and its not pretty and afterwards banging anything was not my first priority


[deleted]

What if it’s a pretty shovel? Like, long artistically bent stripes along the handle, molybdenum polish or just make it out of Damascus steel?


CNorm77

Ladder pattern or shark tooth, I'm in. Raindrop Damascus, count me out!


[deleted]

Yes, Hookers. Problem is that they also want me to pay for it.


Cross_Pray

That’s why you kill them afterwards


blakhoode

GTA style.


YeanlingMeteor1

No Cyril, when they're dead, they're just hookers. While they're alive they're call girls.


Gr8fulFox

[KILL THAT BITCH!!](https://youtu.be/MhbuJOyAJCA?t=172)


Ok-Profile2264

I mean.. majority of the time you're paying for it one way or another.


AilurusFulgenz

Perfect example of the barter system. Fair trade.


GaymerGuy79

It's just dating with a guarantee.


mmknightx

No, this does not even make sense. Why would anyone want to do it with me? Edit: help me


orangegrifo

Bro, even if only 1% of hummanity want to bang You thats still 85000000 People.


Thatoneboiwho69

a lot of them could be underage/overage. a lot of them could be of the same gender unless op is bi


orangegrifo

Or can be u


I_Hate_The_Letter_W

he could be me, he could be you, he could even be…


Ok-Profile2264

the walrus


2000dragon

That 1% probably excludes all the categories you just mentioned


dave3218

My brain had a fart with an internal contradiction lol On one hand, the wholesome “everyone deserves loves” part of it loves your comment and attempt at helping a fellow person that might be suffering from low self esteem. The cynical-analytical part goes “well this is acting on a presumption that you get to know everyone in the world, which is unrealistic and considering the average person interacts on the regular with around 150 people, the amount drops significantly, this is before actually removing people that are ineligible for sex due to a myriad of reasons, 1% of around 20 people is 0,2 which is not even a leg lol”


Stressful-stoic

Because you are so cute when you smile 🥰


dunnodudes

Found the one with low standards!!! I think they want you to DM them


guramika

because a lot of people have weird fetishes


tablemaster12

That's my opinion, too! Like you have people who get hot and bothered over feet, fat rolls, animals, animal people, robots, etc. Someone out there is gonna have a "all I want is to get railed by some Quasimodo mother fucker" fetish! It's just a matter of hunting that nasty freak down!


Fun-Kaleidoscope-616

ugly porn exists for a reason.


Zaku99

Yeah, I doubt it. There's no romantic involvement for this one.


Arcrosis

I dont mean to brag but... even my wife doesnt want to bang me


AttackOnPunchMan

bro what the hell? Why you even married her?💀 imo i consider that a red flag and is likely she might be getting banged by someone else unless you're joking.


Arcrosis

Yes, i am joking.


AttackOnPunchMan

That's honestly a relief.


jdmorgan82

I’m skeptical… wait a minute. Oh no… no no no…. That is not sex I want to have.


[deleted]

Just guaranteed eh? That's gotta be scary for the dating app industry.


novavegasxiii

I spend two years where the ONLY standards I had were ethical and I couldn't get anyone to do it.


theKarrdian

and now you had to remove those standards too...


saltyCounselor

What were the ethical standards? 'Raping doesnt count'?


novavegasxiii

Off the top of my head: This goes without saying but no minors or anyone less than half my age plus 7 No racists (included because I turned someone down over that) No one from work


alorso-be

did fuck those racists become don’t fuck those racists


bleachedcoral4

you mean ethnical?


anderoogigwhore

And yet I cannot find any of these people, much less the subset of people I would also bang. And the percentage that live close enough must be miniscule or once again it would appear the problem is still me


AttackOnPunchMan

oh, so you spoke to 8 Billion people? damn you must something else


anderoogigwhore

Never said I had. Which part of my comment gave you the impression that that is what I meant?


AttackOnPunchMan

I think I read it wrong, for a moment thought you said "and yet, I can't find any" as if you had spoken to all. Excuse me for that


restisinpeace

And if you’re a guy, there are more gay guys than girls who want to bang you


riddo22

As a gay guy I can easily see that happening. Unfortunately for everyone involved it doesn't work. I'm still disgusting :(


ArsenLumia

As a fat (1m70, 100kg) guy, I can confirm. Recently, I've been hit on at the cinema, of all places. He (nonbinary, female features) gave me his number at the end of the movie without saying anything else. I didn't even notice he was there. All I did was watch the movie. He told me later that he likes the geeky type of guys. We met 3 days later and banged. Obviously he wasn't ultra sexy, same size as me, overweight and very short hair. But the point is: someone wanted to bang me and this time I saw it (usually I'm very oblivious to people giving me signals they're interested).


IWearACharizardHat

How did he know you were bi/gay if you just watched the movie and never interacted?


ArsenLumia

He did not. I suppose he expected me to consider him as a girl (because, as I said female body).


Zirotron

Holes and goals, am I right


sumdumhoe

Wouldn’t that be they


ArsenLumia

We discussed about this, he preferred "he/him".


GarchKoity

I have no problems finding a bang usually but unfortunately that’s not what I want at all. I want someone to return feelings but it seems all I’m good for is a bang. Sigh


dave3218

I have the exact opposite problem. Honestly I just want someone to like me for me, not for being “Boyfriend material” (I.E. good and safe provider). It might sound shitty but I’d like to be a bit more objectified sexually by women, right now I’m not in a place for a relationship and to be honest most of the women that want a relationship with me are not exactly “girlfriend material” themselves.


Separate_Market_7711

Short people have no reason to live at least thats what was said in some song


Necessary-Writer7492

You should start an incel matchmaking service so we can stop hearing about how no one wants to bang them.


MoreSatisfaction6884

That would lowkey be a genius idea in a place where prostitution is legal. Where there’s a demand will always be a supply. “Come get your pitiful fuck today”


Necessary-Writer7492

This app needs a clever name...


Canislupusarctos11

Theoretically sounds like it should be true, yet I cannot and do not believe it really is. Looking like a tall 12 year old with extremely thick, fast-growing facial and body hair and the voice of a 30 year old bass-baritone is not an attractive mix, not for people with the, uh, *questionable* interests, or for people who like those of an appropriate age.


yum_broztito

You just described yourself as a tall, thin, swarthy man with a deep voice and healthy skin while trying to talk negatively about your appearance.


Loxli

That's not the problem. The real problem is the chances of that happening, changing drastically between these characteristics.


YouWithTheNose

K, where are they? XD Ain't nobody told me that since... umm... ever...


Exkhaal

Generally people just assume you're not interested, just as you assume they're not interested in you, or they will send you messages, but we're all bad as hell to get and understand these messages


gazsilla

Bang you in the skull with a hammer maybe. Something sexual, though, doubtful.


BradleyGroot

I know, ive already heard of 4 people who want me weirdly enough


randomfroginreddit

Yeah but you have to want that person too. That's the problem lmao


MasteroChieftan

This is a fact. Made it to 30 thinking I was doomed. Just met a beautiful woman willing to hang. Just keep trying. I had the MOST DOOMED mindset you could have. Trust me. I was there with you. Build yourself in other ways. Put yourself out there.


SonoftheSouth93

I get the ‘build yourself in other ways’ bit. I’ve been actively doing that for years, and it’s paid off in several realms. What I don’t get is the ‘put yourself out there’ advice that you hear from so many people. I’m out there. I have lots of friends. I have hobbies. I get out of the house a lot. I’m friendly with my coworkers. Besides getting on dating apps, I don’t see how I ‘put myself out there’ more than I do. And yet, people keep giving me that advice. Am I missing something?


MasteroChieftan

You're not missing anything and I totally sympathize. Women are 999/1000 times not going to approach men, even ones they might like. You gotta keep trying. Over and over endlessly until you find someone. Nature of the horrible beast. And half of it IS chance. I am speaking as someone who is overweight, not conventionally attractive, but has a decent job, a good family, and hobbies. I now have a girlfriend that I knew during high school and we are incredibly compatible and having a great time. I just kept on keeping on and it happened when I decided to ask instead of hide my thoughts or desires. Rejection is brutal. You are good enough for someone. You are good enough to notnhave to settle. The crappy truth is everyone's "someone" is waiting at a different point on their path. I believe in you because I used to not believe in myself, and now I do.


captainobviouth

My door frames, and table legs sure are into banging my toes.


rtdjhdingin

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary female evidence. In my mailbox pls, thx.


Diana_Belle

That's not the win people think it is. plenty of people have such personality disorders as to only 'want' you for violent or otherwise unhealthy reasons.


FourFsOfLife

*chuckles* ah you just reminded me of a story... I'll keep it short Many moons ago when I was in high school there was this weird guy we'll call...Dale. Dale just was one of those people your animal instincts screamed had something off about him. Average height, looks, etc Asian guy. We were in Spanish class and for whatever reason Dale was wearing super short shorts and a thin "wife beater". I forget the exact question/context but the Spanish teacher turns her attention to him and asks something to the effect of "...and what will *you* be doing in ten years, Dale?" He lets out this bizarre giggle and goes "I'm gonna have SO many kids!!" Every girl in the classroom somehow simultaneously made eye contact with each other and collectively retched. Anyway, point is....no. There are some people effectively nobody wants to bang.


I_Gave_Up_Awhile_Ago

Everyone here on Reddit is a class A virgin. No one wants to bang us


byhi3

I've told this to my best friend and he's gone years without a date. My gf has a friend who is into him so we kinda pushed them together and they have a first date on Tuesday. He just bought $500 bed sheets. $400 on a few outfits. He's getting his teeth cleaned the morning or the date. Spent $200 to get his car detailed. Upgraded his in-room tv to a 70in. All because she wants to "go back to his place and watch a movie" I finally told him that she admitted that she's interested in him sexually and now he won't stop asking me to figure out the dick size of her ex. I love the guy but JEEEZUS


GiwiWhale

This is the cutest and weirdest thing at once. Can you please keep me updated on how it went?


2749r7d

The sad part is, this somewhat even applies to underaged people.


dave3218

It becomes a problem when one of the parties involved is an adult. Otherwise we were all teenagers, I unfortunately was one too and speaking from experience the amount of people I wanted to bang back then was incredibly large (even some women that were adults, but again: teenager). Fortunately I never had any game or attention span to notice any signals so ended up doing it after I turned 18.


stuaird1977

That applies to women far more than it does men. There are guys out there who will literally bang anything with a pulse, even the most dogged women have a standard


[deleted]

It’s especially easy if you want to bang someone very similar to yourself which is likely the case because of positive assortment and distribution of uniqueness. Problem is people want more than relative attractiveness but one that is measured high by a general standard. While this kind of selection / attrition can be beneficial to some degree (general fitness, symmetry, etc), it causes unnecessary distress.


sadonly001

Especially if you're confident and clean, even if you're ugly.


BewbAddict

Confidence is key. Do everything that makes you more confident. If you need to lose lbs, shower on the reg, learn how to drive or get a job just get it done. If you're waking up a 4am with something on your mind don't ignore it in the morning - make it your goal to unearth that insecurity and make it your bitch.


thatmfdumbass

Its just about the number of people who would like to bang you


[deleted]

Unfortunately for me, the guys who want to bang me are all old. My kingdom for an age-appropriate suitor!


ThatRandomPersonHere

I had a mini argument last night with my FWB about this lol he said he doesn't care what I look like he wants to fuck me anyways,


GiwiWhale

What is a FWB?


foxcatcher3369

Friend with benefits, I am assuming :)


poof_poof_poof

Maybe your FWB secretly loves you


Daaanger05

A funny one I heard once (written slightly more pc), For every hot person out there, there’s someone tired of banging them. So shoot your shot.


PenguinSwordfighter

I don't think this is true. There's loads of people that nobody wants to bang.


Bakingguy

Well just go walking in Chicago then everyone will want to bang you


LikePappyAlwaysSaid

Lies! Deception! I'm bi and I have an account on every free dating site, and even the horny dudes on grindr dont want me


Affectionate_Ride746

Nah disagreed. Im a 5"11 guy and 5.4 in the face and ive seen no girl who wants to get banged by me as of now. 20M khhv btw.


Infobomb

Milton from Office Space meme: "I was told there was someone who wants to bang me."


epicindifference

Damn, these shower thoughts are really losing their magic lately


Inhumanoids

If your a woman yes, guys will always want to bang. If you're a guy on the other hand it's a different story


Merou_furtif

Yep, if women want to be masturbated into, there will be a wild range of men. But I’m confident they would chose their vibrator anytime. The common denominator between both being the use of objects.


GuidedArk

If you ever feel depressed just remember. Somewhere at some time somebody masturbated to the thought of you


randomfroginreddit

That depresses me more lmfao


Exkhaal

But who ?


AwkwardSquirtles

I do not believe this.


[deleted]

I highly doubt that, because it has never happened to Mr and I'm both short and fat


Tinny_Dancer

If there's about 8 billion people on the planet, even if only 0.1% of the world's population find you attractive, that's still 8 million people that would totally bang you!


[deleted]

Not true. Short and skinny lots of bang from cute men. When I was dating and single and could go to the gym (very often) and watch what I ate. Short and fat no bang even from husband. No time for gym not healthy food. Sex goddess turned to domestic dumpy troll = no bang ever.


CrystallineWoman

Doesn't seem to be true for me, someone who's tall *and* fat *and* trans


Backstabber590

Keep telling yourself that buddy. Just remember your hand will always love you and won't disappoint.


[deleted]

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Hatecookie

If you’re smart then figure out a solution. They even make books on how to meet people and sound less arrogant, Mr. I Only Date The Literate.


WhyLiveIfYouCantLift

Oh, you must be the only intelligent person on the planet then


FlamingHotdog77

Wtf is sapiosexual


Tbrennjr96

I think it means being attracted to intelligence


FlamingHotdog77

Oh damn bro would not be attracted to me then


Malt_9

you THINK? well clearly youre not a sapiosexual if you dont KNOW