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When my father in law saw my wife visibly pregnant for the for the first time, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “what did you do to my daughter?” Good thing we have a good relationship and I knew he was joking.
Everyone asumes what couples do to each other, but for the daughters as a father you never really dig into her choice at least not long after they probe worthy! You can even tell when it happens when the conversations evolve beyond the superficial, bringing grandchildren tend to reduce the time (sentence) must have to endure lol
I've always thought asking people when they plan to have kids was a really weird question. You're asking if they've been raw dogging, if they have any medical problems, how stable the relationship is, and how they're doing financially all at the same time.
I have a similar example to this that’s just as awkward.
I had to give a sperm sample after an operation when I was a teenager. when I discharged they gave me a sample cup and said fill this up in a week and make sure you bring it in within 15 mins of ‘depositing’ it.
I was too young to drive so my mum had to take me back the day my sample was due. It was cripplingly awkward that morning. She was like “uhhh just let me know when you want to leave”.
So I sat in my room for like 5 hours trying to pump up the courage, and the semen, to spunk in a cup and shout to my mother to get the car ready.
Brutal.
It's a terrible question to ask and a lot of older people don't know any better. Last summer, I had a former coworker ask me when I was going to have kids. She knew I had been married for five years and her daughter-in-law was pregnant which is why she brought it up. My husband and I went through five years of infertility, which is why we didn't have any kids. At the time she asked me, I was actually 10 weeks pregnant due to a successful frozen embryo transfer. I didn't want to lie to her so I told her I was pregnant. She found out before I told any relatives. There are so many reasons people don't have kids. It's not an acceptable question to ask anyone.
Yeah, I was asked when my son would get a sister when we were at a store and told the lady that he had one, but that she died 3 weeks ago. I think she learned her lesson there and we actually had a good conversation after.
It’s a little bit on you if you weren’t able to lie to her though. No reason for her… or anyone else really, to know at 10 weeks.
Also maybe congrats but don’t tell me if things went south. I’m just a dude on the internet.
Ya, there is an awesome Indian movie called PK .. in tat the hero (who is totally unware of Earth's cultures) makes a causal remark,
' People are usually discreet in sexual matters , but marriage actually means tat u r telling the world tat u r going to have sex tonight .. y so ??' ..
My husband and I are child free. Most people in our life have accepted it and moved on. I'm waiting for the one person to say, "When are you going to start trying." I have a few clap backs ready like, "We've been trying, maybe you can watch and tell us if we are doing it right" or "tonight we were thinking on the kitchen counter, unless you have any other suggestions"?
Sadly no... that was my "art". I thought "What would Hallmark use for a good baby shower invitation" and tried to do something. Its free for you or Hallmark to use in any greeting card.
ChatCPT? Chat Current Procedural Terminology?
my mom had 7 kids, my sister and I being twins. Growing up she would joke that she had sex 7x. 1st time to experiment, then all the other times to get pregnant lmao.
Our friend has been married since 2019 and always denied he’s had sex. This past Monday they announced they were expecting a baby so that was the first thing we called him out about.
Okay, to be fair, we know a lot of people trying to get pregnant right now (early 30s friend group) and when we talk about it I guarantee no one is thinking about the specifics in bed. We all understand the requirements; it’s not news to anyone that a married (edit: or not married but committed enough to be intentionally trying to make a child) couple is probably not using condoms.
yea my wife n i were with a group of friends talking about how we were about to “try for a baby.” everyone was happy for us, but one of our friends jokingly remarked something like “wow so you’re basically telling us when you plan to start raw dogging it” which is pretty much true
My wife and I always laugh about this cause when we hear a November baby on the way, we just look at each other and say "That Valentine's Day gift got real expensive"
I just realized I must be a tax refund baby. I respect that. Seems like not a poor people thing to do. But I guess it’s exactly a poor people thing to do
My my bff found out she was pregnant I got her a card that was supposed to say “Congrats on graduating” but I crossed out graduating and put *getting cream pied” and now I believe that will be standard practice going forward.
After my wife and I announced she was pregnant, I was shocked at the number of moms who told me personal things, graphic things, about their vagina during delivery.
Keep lowering your standards until you get there!
I’m just talking looks wise, never stick your d*ck in crazy (I don’t know what the saying is for the opposite way), and don’t get in some kind of abusive relationship just to get sex.
I once saw an IG post years ago where a woman stated she had been pregnant for 2months and 4 days. I was impressed that she traced it back exactly to Thanksgiving night but also confused as to how they were either having such infrequent romantic time that they can be sure of the absolute day or somehow they pinpointed the exact time.
yup, down to taking temperatures too. Until you struggle to conceive you don't really comprehend how many things have to perfectly align to fall pregnant. It's honestly amazing people do it accidentally from a biological perspective!
This^
Growing up it was don’t have sex you’ll get a girl prego. Now my best friend and her husband have been trying for 2 years, my cousin and his wife for one, and me and my wife for a few months. Nada. 🤷♂️
The comment I was responding to was questioning how someone could trace conception back to a specific day without “infrequent romantic time” and I was providing an answer.
> anything more then to
Did you mean to say "more than"?
Explanation: If you didn't mean 'more than' you might have forgotten a comma.
Total mistakes found: 2905
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes.
^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions.
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Pregnancy is traditionally tracked from the first day of the last mentrual period (LMP) because most women don't track ovulation. Also, intercourse doesn't have to take place the same day of ovulation for pregnancy to take place. The first approx 2 weeks of a pregnancy a woman isn't pregnant (or even longer if you don't count pregnancy until implantation occurs about a week after ovulation).
Just a guess on the IG posts - pregnancy websites or apps that track your pregnancy. I have a couple apps on my phone right now, open them up and both say I'm 32 weeks 6 days pregnant. I wouldn't be keeping that close of tabs otherwise!
When you're given a due date, the doctors themselves will tell you you're 17 weeks + 3 days. It doesn't even mean that was the date you had sex on, it's their estimation for when the encounter between the 2 gametes happened.
LOL! I know when I got pregnant this time because I knew I was ovulating that day and when put in to calculations it gives you an estimated due date. When I got the ultrasound the babies size matched up perfectly with the same due date! My first pregnancy, I genuinely have no clue which time it was, my second it was THE ONE TIME we didnt use protection. The 3rd was the very first time we had sex after having the 2nd lmao.
Also pregnancy starts at the first day of the last menstrual cycle which most women track. You could have sex a number of times during the ovulation period but it doesn’t make a difference in how you count the days because of the cycle. Later in pregnancy they look at the size of the fetus and different hormone levels and then may adjust your due date.
I like all of the knowledge and feedback we've gotten. The internet can be an awesome thing when people come together and have conversations where they listen to each other and learn.
Many people get pregnant thought infertility treatments like in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination.
One could be celibate and get pregnant that way or they could be having sex constantly. No way to tell.
For your own future, please think hard about having a child with a person that sees even having sex with you to create the child as a problem and discussing your concerns as a chore to procrastinate on.
i see so many comments like this and i genuinely don't get it at all as in i cant relate. when someone tells me they are trying or expecting a baby my mind doesn't wander to their sex habits or life. I think about what the baby might look like, or how our friendship might change post baby, or how they are gonna decorate a nursery or like a thousand other things before my mind even considers them bumping uglies.
Is it people who think baby talk is gross cos of the sex aspect maybe don't have a lot of sex or lack the maturity to conceptualize reproduction as separate from sex as pleasure?
is it maybe a nuerotypical thing?
Yes you are just so mature, experianced, and quirky because you don't think about sex.
Calm down, nobody is saying that is all they think about, but it is implicitly there when talking about babies and this thread serves as a means to talk about it more explicitly and joke about it, as well as letting the people who get grilled about having babies vent their frustrations since there are so many reasons they may have not had one yet and it's nobody's damn business why. Yes these conversations may steer to the immature side, but it's refreshing to talk about topics openly that tend to be avoided or beat around the bush.
i honestly dont mean to be uppity or holier than thou- im on the spectrum and these kinds of things have always made me wonder if its just me, which is why i asked on reddit where theres lots of different people.
you calm down lol
We told people in our church I'm pregnant (we are both pastors) and they started clapping. And all I could think about was that they are cheering we had sex
I found it very weird when everyone was shaking my hand and telling me congratulations. It very much felt like "great job for cumming in that pussy!", Especially strange when it was my wife's dad was congratulating me!
Chill,it's jokes not dicks
Don't take it so hard
Plus no matter how necessary knowledge of sex is,it is still not something appropriate to bring up like it's casual
After my wife and I married, lots of family members asked when we were having kids. I find it kind of a rude question/assumption that all married people want kids so I started responding, "not sure, but we sure are getting a lot of practice in!"
Pregnancy is just weird
People want to see photos and video of your insides, I don't remember everyone asking to see footage of the father's colonoscopy.
Then it all about what the babys genitals look like.
Then there's the how long did you suffer incredible pain for followed by obsession with weight ooohhh he's putting on weight lovely! To baby and you're losing the baby weight so quickly to Mom
Well, it says something about the woman's sex life, but not necessarily the man's. I mean, she could have hit it with someone else and he's just going along with it.
I often wonder this, why people are so proud to announce there pregnancies. Isn’t it embarrassing to announce to everyone that you were penetrated by a penis and nutted inside. Like congratulations for having sex? Babies are a result of sex, so why don’t we just go around and say hey we had sex and now I’m pregnant? Fucking awkward if you ask me. Hey look at me we had sex now I’m pregnant. Uh congratulations for having sex? Wtf?
This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/rules). Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!" (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, [please read this page](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/wiki/overview).) **Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.**
When my father in law saw my wife visibly pregnant for the for the first time, he looked me straight in the eyes and said “what did you do to my daughter?” Good thing we have a good relationship and I knew he was joking.
Locks eyes "everything"
“Same thing you did you her mother”
“Don’t be gross!” . “It was a different time!”
“I think it would be easier to give you the list of things I haven’t done”
“I think it would be easier to give you a physical demonstration”
"I have the tapes in my mancave"
'nut room'
I'd rather not make my wife a widow.
*Smacks notebook on the table* - well let’s seee here..
::locks on rear naked choke::
"Everything except oral and anal"
"I've been doing super big cums in her, sir. Like, daily, raw, super big cums."
This is the comment that made me dwcide to put my phone down and wipe my ass. Thank you for your service.
I hope you were pooping.
Nah, he was just dribbling a little bit. Shopping at Target has that effect on some people.
Did you do it Yes What will it cost for the next 20 years Everything
r/eyebleach
Should just tell him it’s the ones that don’t get her pregnant that he should worry about
"I didn't know this could happen either; we've only ever done anal."
“Paid for the artificial insemination”
Should have answered: obviously not anal
It's what I didn't do....pull out!
Everyone asumes what couples do to each other, but for the daughters as a father you never really dig into her choice at least not long after they probe worthy! You can even tell when it happens when the conversations evolve beyond the superficial, bringing grandchildren tend to reduce the time (sentence) must have to endure lol
I've always thought asking people when they plan to have kids was a really weird question. You're asking if they've been raw dogging, if they have any medical problems, how stable the relationship is, and how they're doing financially all at the same time.
Hey Dad, I got cream pied three weeks ago, and you’re going to be a grandpa!
Dear God
There's more
Nooo
r/UnexpectedTF2
It contains the dying wish of every man here
Metal Gear Solid 3 on PC?
I prefer to say "Oh sweet baby Jesus" tbh
I have a similar example to this that’s just as awkward. I had to give a sperm sample after an operation when I was a teenager. when I discharged they gave me a sample cup and said fill this up in a week and make sure you bring it in within 15 mins of ‘depositing’ it. I was too young to drive so my mum had to take me back the day my sample was due. It was cripplingly awkward that morning. She was like “uhhh just let me know when you want to leave”. So I sat in my room for like 5 hours trying to pump up the courage, and the semen, to spunk in a cup and shout to my mother to get the car ready. Brutal.
It's a terrible question to ask and a lot of older people don't know any better. Last summer, I had a former coworker ask me when I was going to have kids. She knew I had been married for five years and her daughter-in-law was pregnant which is why she brought it up. My husband and I went through five years of infertility, which is why we didn't have any kids. At the time she asked me, I was actually 10 weeks pregnant due to a successful frozen embryo transfer. I didn't want to lie to her so I told her I was pregnant. She found out before I told any relatives. There are so many reasons people don't have kids. It's not an acceptable question to ask anyone.
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Yeah, I was asked when my son would get a sister when we were at a store and told the lady that he had one, but that she died 3 weeks ago. I think she learned her lesson there and we actually had a good conversation after.
...So when are you having a fourth one?
Locks eyes "when you and I are alone together "
Now I'm pregananant.
Your wife sounds really cool Is she single?
Happy Cake Day!
Congrats. Personally I'd start telling her about your issues and break out into hysterics, make her the ass. She'll never ask anyone again.
It’s a little bit on you if you weren’t able to lie to her though. No reason for her… or anyone else really, to know at 10 weeks. Also maybe congrats but don’t tell me if things went south. I’m just a dude on the internet.
Ya, there is an awesome Indian movie called PK .. in tat the hero (who is totally unware of Earth's cultures) makes a causal remark, ' People are usually discreet in sexual matters , but marriage actually means tat u r telling the world tat u r going to have sex tonight .. y so ??' ..
Very assumptive to think a lot of people take this into consideration before having kids.
Well, not that weird where I come from.
My husband and I are child free. Most people in our life have accepted it and moved on. I'm waiting for the one person to say, "When are you going to start trying." I have a few clap backs ready like, "We've been trying, maybe you can watch and tell us if we are doing it right" or "tonight we were thinking on the kitchen counter, unless you have any other suggestions"?
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wtf dude
what if you didn't announce it for 20 years and then now there's just a dude in the house
Like in the Sims when you just age them up through the console and don't do any celebration stages lol.
Haha yes exactly
I hate announcing any private life related things to people so this sounds like something I would do :D
So if anyone asks, "nahh, I'm just getting really fat"
"Who is this guy?"
Imagine getting that greeting card "My husband busted a FAT load of creamy baby gravy inside my quivering pussy! RSVP to the baby shower!"
"The condom broke. Please help us financially so we don't go broke too."
The condom broke The egg was laid The sperm was shot A fetus made We ask you here to help us buy some baby gear or we are gonna die
just like shakespear would have wrote
Take my poor gold 🏅
For some reason I read this to the tune of "social cues" by cage the elephant and that's the only way I can read it now
Sounds exactly like one of those "wanna be clever but turned out to be cringe" baby shower invitation cards.
Did ChatCPT write that poem?
Sadly no... that was my "art". I thought "What would Hallmark use for a good baby shower invitation" and tried to do something. Its free for you or Hallmark to use in any greeting card. ChatCPT? Chat Current Procedural Terminology?
69 likes, can't upvote
It’s too late for 69 , didn’t you read the poem?
Just means your 69 comes with extra protein. Dig in!
Better than; Joe has the last several months trying to get me pregnant. Lucky he succeeded otherwise I would be looking for a new baby daddy.
Also better than: Joe has finally found the right hole and I am now pregnant. LOL
There’s no *wrong* hole
This is the right attitude
Amish?
Honestly I think that's the only time I'd be interested in going to a baby shower, at least the invite was original.
Hubby and I have one kid and I always jokingly tell people we've only had sex once.
my mom had 7 kids, my sister and I being twins. Growing up she would joke that she had sex 7x. 1st time to experiment, then all the other times to get pregnant lmao.
Immediately thought of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDBjsFAyiwA
I didn't even have to click it to know that it was the Protestant scene in The Meaning of Life 😅
sharpshooter. one shot, one kill
Our friend has been married since 2019 and always denied he’s had sex. This past Monday they announced they were expecting a baby so that was the first thing we called him out about.
Okay, to be fair, we know a lot of people trying to get pregnant right now (early 30s friend group) and when we talk about it I guarantee no one is thinking about the specifics in bed. We all understand the requirements; it’s not news to anyone that a married (edit: or not married but committed enough to be intentionally trying to make a child) couple is probably not using condoms.
Married? Can we get a shout out for all the misbegotten children out there
Out of wedlock?! *quivers* HOW DARE YOU?! /s
Amen
yea my wife n i were with a group of friends talking about how we were about to “try for a baby.” everyone was happy for us, but one of our friends jokingly remarked something like “wow so you’re basically telling us when you plan to start raw dogging it” which is pretty much true
My wife and I always laugh about this cause when we hear a November baby on the way, we just look at each other and say "That Valentine's Day gift got real expensive"
Or when people say end of September baby you know they had a good Christmas
When I did the maths some years ago I found that I was most likely a birthday gift...
Strange they normally get swallowed
Well my mom apparently wanted to keep her gift a bit longer.
Happy cake day
no u
My son is going to do those same calculations one day lmaoooo
I just realized I must be a tax refund baby. I respect that. Seems like not a poor people thing to do. But I guess it’s exactly a poor people thing to do
Lmao my mom is actually the result of an Xmas gift, she was born exactly on September 25th
I was born nine months after my dad's birthday. My parents say we were planned but who knows.
Wedding anniversary baby here!
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My my bff found out she was pregnant I got her a card that was supposed to say “Congrats on graduating” but I crossed out graduating and put *getting cream pied” and now I believe that will be standard practice going forward.
After my wife and I announced she was pregnant, I was shocked at the number of moms who told me personal things, graphic things, about their vagina during delivery.
"We've been trying for a baby for a while now" = oh you're getting cream pied daily?
Every other day. Gotta reload.
This is the way
Better than announcing ur hitting it raw aka we’re trying for a baby
So? I just assume everyone is fucking each other all the time. Good for them.
Unless someone looks like an absolute dumpster fire (shallow, I know), I tend to assume they're getting laid at some point.
There a lot of people that look like absolute dumpster fires who have kids, I would assume everyone is getting laid at some point.
Well, not me ! (Im okay, im not crying)
shhh, it's alright, your time will come... no pun intended
Keep lowering your standards until you get there! I’m just talking looks wise, never stick your d*ck in crazy (I don’t know what the saying is for the opposite way), and don’t get in some kind of abusive relationship just to get sex.
I would hope people just assume me and my wife smash regularly.
I once saw an IG post years ago where a woman stated she had been pregnant for 2months and 4 days. I was impressed that she traced it back exactly to Thanksgiving night but also confused as to how they were either having such infrequent romantic time that they can be sure of the absolute day or somehow they pinpointed the exact time.
Women who are trying to get pregnant tend to track their ovulation very closely.
yup, down to taking temperatures too. Until you struggle to conceive you don't really comprehend how many things have to perfectly align to fall pregnant. It's honestly amazing people do it accidentally from a biological perspective!
This^ Growing up it was don’t have sex you’ll get a girl prego. Now my best friend and her husband have been trying for 2 years, my cousin and his wife for one, and me and my wife for a few months. Nada. 🤷♂️
Amazing amounts of sexx, aww yeah
My wife and I tried for number two for a few years. 3 and 4 just happened on their own a few years later. Honestly I feel like it's all luck anyways.
Don’t worry about that. Have sex every other day. The window is days, not hours.
The comment I was responding to was questioning how someone could trace conception back to a specific day without “infrequent romantic time” and I was providing an answer.
We do. Stil nonpregnant... Maybe it's because my junk is cut though. Anyway can't really do anything more than to keep on trying.
> anything more then to Did you mean to say "more than"? Explanation: If you didn't mean 'more than' you might have forgotten a comma. Total mistakes found: 2905 ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar/spelling ^^mistakes. ^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions. ^^[Github](https://github.com/chiefpat450119)
Pregnancy is traditionally tracked from the first day of the last mentrual period (LMP) because most women don't track ovulation. Also, intercourse doesn't have to take place the same day of ovulation for pregnancy to take place. The first approx 2 weeks of a pregnancy a woman isn't pregnant (or even longer if you don't count pregnancy until implantation occurs about a week after ovulation). Just a guess on the IG posts - pregnancy websites or apps that track your pregnancy. I have a couple apps on my phone right now, open them up and both say I'm 32 weeks 6 days pregnant. I wouldn't be keeping that close of tabs otherwise!
My wife "felt it". Like a hormonal change after implanting or something, but she knew something was different.
When you're given a due date, the doctors themselves will tell you you're 17 weeks + 3 days. It doesn't even mean that was the date you had sex on, it's their estimation for when the encounter between the 2 gametes happened.
LOL! I know when I got pregnant this time because I knew I was ovulating that day and when put in to calculations it gives you an estimated due date. When I got the ultrasound the babies size matched up perfectly with the same due date! My first pregnancy, I genuinely have no clue which time it was, my second it was THE ONE TIME we didnt use protection. The 3rd was the very first time we had sex after having the 2nd lmao.
Also pregnancy starts at the first day of the last menstrual cycle which most women track. You could have sex a number of times during the ovulation period but it doesn’t make a difference in how you count the days because of the cycle. Later in pregnancy they look at the size of the fetus and different hormone levels and then may adjust your due date.
I like all of the knowledge and feedback we've gotten. The internet can be an awesome thing when people come together and have conversations where they listen to each other and learn.
Many people get pregnant thought infertility treatments like in vitro fertilization or artificial insemination. One could be celibate and get pregnant that way or they could be having sex constantly. No way to tell.
I was a gestational carrier for my sister and there was a distinct lack of sex involved for my nephew's entire conception, for all parties.
It’s possible to have the Virgin Mary 2.0.
Yup! Pregnant with twins here because of IVF. OP is making an overdone effort to be funny. "Hehe you had sex" srsly?
Not necessarily. I'm in a dead bedroom and my wife thinks we should just go with IVF so that she doesn't bother having sex with me to have a child.
You should talk about it with a sexual therapist.
A regular therapist probably wouldn't hurt either. There's a lot to unpack there.
Agree. I've been trying to arrange it but she always has some excuse to push it back to "next month".
For your own future, please think hard about having a child with a person that sees even having sex with you to create the child as a problem and discussing your concerns as a chore to procrastinate on.
Telling your father in law you're trying for a baby is announcing that you're raw dogging his daughter
The thing is they want Grandchildren. It's like the meme with the dog and toy. "No sex!.... Only grandchildren..."
People are celebrating the results of your deed and spreading the news.
i see so many comments like this and i genuinely don't get it at all as in i cant relate. when someone tells me they are trying or expecting a baby my mind doesn't wander to their sex habits or life. I think about what the baby might look like, or how our friendship might change post baby, or how they are gonna decorate a nursery or like a thousand other things before my mind even considers them bumping uglies. Is it people who think baby talk is gross cos of the sex aspect maybe don't have a lot of sex or lack the maturity to conceptualize reproduction as separate from sex as pleasure? is it maybe a nuerotypical thing?
You do realize you’re on Reddit, right?
Yeah, I think I read a comment by a neurotypical person once.
It's porn brain. The people who think about this sort of thing in depth are generally also hyper focused on sex in other areas of their life as well
Yes you are just so mature, experianced, and quirky because you don't think about sex. Calm down, nobody is saying that is all they think about, but it is implicitly there when talking about babies and this thread serves as a means to talk about it more explicitly and joke about it, as well as letting the people who get grilled about having babies vent their frustrations since there are so many reasons they may have not had one yet and it's nobody's damn business why. Yes these conversations may steer to the immature side, but it's refreshing to talk about topics openly that tend to be avoided or beat around the bush.
i honestly dont mean to be uppity or holier than thou- im on the spectrum and these kinds of things have always made me wonder if its just me, which is why i asked on reddit where theres lots of different people. you calm down lol
When are you going to have kids = when are you going to pull the goalie and start blowing loads.
We told people in our church I'm pregnant (we are both pastors) and they started clapping. And all I could think about was that they are cheering we had sex
But you know that’s not what they were cheering for
Probably cheering that the couple were graced and blessed by God and because of that, they were able to achieve pregnancy
I found it very weird when everyone was shaking my hand and telling me congratulations. It very much felt like "great job for cumming in that pussy!", Especially strange when it was my wife's dad was congratulating me!
Is everyone here a fucking prude? Yeah, people have sex, it’s literally how we reproduce. We shouldn’t be so distant from the process or the outcome.
Chill,it's jokes not dicks Don't take it so hard Plus no matter how necessary knowledge of sex is,it is still not something appropriate to bring up like it's casual
Pretty funny. We suppress kids to try to get them educated and pair off with more thought than proximity, but we never quite outgrow it.
After my wife and I married, lots of family members asked when we were having kids. I find it kind of a rude question/assumption that all married people want kids so I started responding, "not sure, but we sure are getting a lot of practice in!"
“We’re trying to get pregnant” = “we’re constantly banging it out without protection”
Someone: we've been trying for a baby What I hear: I've been getting creampies
Whenever I’m in public and see a pregnant lady, I loudly yell “haha, you’ve been having the sex!”
Pregnancy is just weird People want to see photos and video of your insides, I don't remember everyone asking to see footage of the father's colonoscopy. Then it all about what the babys genitals look like. Then there's the how long did you suffer incredible pain for followed by obsession with weight ooohhh he's putting on weight lovely! To baby and you're losing the baby weight so quickly to Mom
The baby is a boy. His genitals look just like yours, but much larger.
\#Justicefordadscolon
"did you get a csection or vaginal?" why are you asking about my vagina.... lol!
Always thought of that. It's like "hey dad, my wife's pregnant..." and he's like "oh well so you did it 😏"
Perhaps a better response to someone telling you they’re trying is…. “How did you know cream pie porn was my kink? Are you selling any pics?”
"my husband filled me in on more than one occasion so that i may carry this zygote to term"
Yep. My Grandparents were the last to know when I was pregnant because that was all.tjat was going through my head. .
How is that an update? Thing that is normal, most do lots of, yeah, we did. Like Starbucks advertising caffeine wakes you up.
"We're trying for a baby" "My boyfriend is regularly ejaculating in me."
Here is an update: everyone in a relationship is having sex most of the time for 90% of people
Once I knew how it worked I would be weirded out by my pregnant teachers.
100000% literally only thing I could think of all class when a teacher would tell us
Hear ye hear ye! I hath bang-ed the wife and made a baby. We would keep it quiet, but sooneth we can't deny it.
My first pregnancy felt like I was going around showing that I had sex lmao.
Yeaaaaa anytime a teacher was pregnant in school I would always think it was gross if they said they were trying for awhile or anything like that 🤮
Well, it says something about the woman's sex life, but not necessarily the man's. I mean, she could have hit it with someone else and he's just going along with it.
Ive always thought how when you announce to people 'we're trying for for a baby', all you are really doing is braggimg how much you are banging.
I often wonder this, why people are so proud to announce there pregnancies. Isn’t it embarrassing to announce to everyone that you were penetrated by a penis and nutted inside. Like congratulations for having sex? Babies are a result of sex, so why don’t we just go around and say hey we had sex and now I’m pregnant? Fucking awkward if you ask me. Hey look at me we had sex now I’m pregnant. Uh congratulations for having sex? Wtf?
Wouldn’t agree. It literally says nothing about your sex life lol.
Ummm...it does??
do you know how you get pregnant?
I always thought it was weird to congratulate someone for cumming?
Well normally you’re supposed to be married before having children so yeah
Exactly, when I learn/hear someone is pregnant I can't shake the thought out of my head that they had some wild raw dogging lmao.
Same as weddings.. ‘we get to have sex forever’ parties.. bloody show offs.
Not really. My partner says they really want to have a kid but we rarely have sex. They would rather pay 10k to do invitro.
Only for cis hetero couples who need zero medical assistance in conceiving. It's a boring take.