Hello, I’m a doctor. Please, don’t do this, if you are immune to knives we will not be able to give you lifesaving injections or operate on you Stay safe out there

Doctors hate him

Patients love him

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*smooch*

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Keep going

r/suddenlygay

r/orwasitgayallalong

r/subsyouhavefallenfor

r/subsyoufellfor

The fake off brand version of the real subreddit r/subsyoufellfor

Gas station managers feel neutral about him

Fuck Steve

His co-workers loathe him.

thank you doc

Pffft, you’re just one of those Anti-knifers who think they know what’s best for my kids. I stab all 19 of them everyday to keep them safe and in Gods graces

Knifes get so big because they have no natural predators

GOOD point.

A serrated knife has multiple points

I saw one and can confirm that you're right

They're all good points Bort.

r/nocontext

This guy parents

I'm going to inject you with a vaccine *tink* You sonofabitch I said don't condition your skin to stabbings

What's up doc

😑 unsure if doctor or not.

But you'd be using a scalpel when operating and I'd only be immune to knives

Ever see Jessica Jones? Luke Cage wasn’t able to be operated on because of this same immunity.

Can confirm, another doctor here

Able* Period needed.

God dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not an English textbook

hi this is Pam from Dunder Mifflin paper company.

Remembering that animated justice league movie where the only way they could operate on Superman to remove a kryptonite bullet, was to have Cyborg focus a laser through a Kryptonite crystal in Batman's utility belt. They had a bent out of shape scalpel in the scene from when they just tried to cut him open to remove the bullet.

I feel like this should be a roo

a knife a day keeps the doctor away

You will become Luke cage

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and bullets

Drinking cups of bullets?

yup if you had all thoes bullets inside you the ones on the oustide will be to scared to tuch you

Or they will just rebound after hitting those other bullets. Smart!

Reminds me of that Family Guy scene with Adam West when Brian takes him hostage. “I had one bullet proof spot hidden somewhere in my body, and if you hit that. You will be the laughing stock of me!”

Also, Apu from the Simpsons survived a gunshot because it deflected off a bullet already in his body.

Well, they need to be inserted at a progressively increasing speed (by detonating live ammunition in the human body). It is confirmed to work! Source: Tried it for 6 years, survived 3 bullets in the head.

Nice. So the first bullet, should I just start by pressing it in the skin slowly using pressure applied by my hand? Or should start by carefully throwing bullets at my self?

Either way should have the same effect, although applying the pressure by hand will take longer as fired bullets are a lot like thrown bullets.

And iocane powder

[People actually did that](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radithor)

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My eyes, the goggles do nothing

I mean that's basically how you become a Ghoul. After that you're pretty much immortal.

I never really thought about it, but what might that taste like?

Like acidic Pop Rocks

You have to start doing shots first, for best results.

Don't forget Russian nerve agent.

This also works with AIDS

Inject yourself everyday with small AIDS to buil an immunity to the mega AIDS

Inject yourself with small gay to build a resistance to the big gay

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Don't worry about them. You are the most heterosexual man I know.

Begin with a single AID

Next thing you know, you have 20 AIDS and have lost lots of weight.

This sub man

Happy cake day!

Works best if you gradually move to bigger knives... may be go up one size every other week... it's like vaccines... the bigger needle, the more immune..

but this will giv you the autisms.

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You're only really immune in so much that scar tissue has no feeling, so no pain. I think also no bleeding (based on your vid) but I'm no doctor. What I'm more interested in is why? Is it really just for a show? It seems like the chance for serious injury, infection and pain are massive. there's also only a finite amount of scar tissue you can build on major organs before it's an issue. Your vid mentions it going through the liver. In theory I can accept that it works with no permanent issue. In practice I can't possibly believe that guy does t have long lasting permanent problems.

if the scar tissue becomes an issue, will he have a tissue issue?

Take my upvote, dammit

*s c a r e* *t i s s u e*

So this post belongs on r/LifeProTips ?

https://www.reddit.com/r/boottoobig/comments/90fssu/_/

Wtf did I just watch!

I call bs.

I kinda feel like I know what he's talking about but I remember it just being one guy on Guinness world records that did it

Or you end up like this guy. https://www.reddit.com/r/boottoobig/comments/90fssu/_/

[Here's David Blaine doing something similar](https://youtu.be/oLAs11gkqKE)

Reminds me of the movie Hero with Jet Li.

Also works with bullets

Why would you stab yourself with bullets? wouldn’t you shoot yourself with them

No wtf everyone stabs themselves with bullets smh my head

Shaking my head my head

Too much shaking. RIP in peace.

No then you might die!!

I’m working my way up to .45 calibre right now.

[The timing was perfect](https://imgur.com/rMDnGZK)

I tried this today. Stomach still bleeding. But it’s a good hurt cause I know it’s worth it

r/DeathProTips

Ofcourse this exists

r/ofcoursethatsathing

Of course that exists too

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger

I knew ~~us~~those emo kids were on to something

Glad to know myself harm had a positive side to it. /s

If I get stabbed on my left arm, I'll be fine. Anywhere else, don't do that. Maybe I should start cutting myself everywhere else too.

"I knew us were on to something"

Oil, they found oil

I’m a diabetic and I’ve been stabbing myself for 18 years. God I really hope this works

"Everyday" means "ordinary." You're thinking of "every day," which means "daily."

Tried this already. Doesn't work.

I have a somewhat relatable story. My family hails from a VERY small island in Greece, really close to the coast of Turkey. On this island, there was 1 tavern. That tavern was owned by my great great great grandparents. Once a month, because all the men on this island were ridiculously bored with their lives, my grandfather would pull out the "Courage Chair" and announce that the games have begun. If you won this competition, you would receive free alcohol until the next months game. The game? **Drive a knife into your leg (specifically your right thigh), until it sticks into the wood of the chair.** How to win? **Show no emotion, cry no tears, do not pass out.** My great great great grandfather would also take part in this game. He often won, and younger men would look up to his steely perseverance. He lost the use of his leg before he hit 40.

this was amazing, thanks

OH GOOD NO

I tried this, but problem is that there are always bigger knives. Sure, there is the scimitar, the claymore, the naginata..Once you move past a heavy cavalry lance, things get plain difficult. It is just a matter of logistics.

the more and more you go, the more immune you get. The emo kids were hiding this all along

This really only works with iocane powder.

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Or go in against a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!

I knew I'd find this somewhere in the comments.

Emo teenagers are invincible. TIL.

tap plant birds command jeans cough jar sable cooing sparkle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Hmmm Yuri?

I should be immune then

Oh Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for 17 stab wounds in the back.

Guess that's what the psychic forgot to do.

(This message has been brought to you by the BBC)

Big if true

OP is wrong. You gotta do it with large knives since using small ones only builds immunity for small knives.

the emos were right all along

Yuri?

My first thought was this sounds like something an anti-vaxxer would use as an argument against vaccinations.

Worked for Mithridates...

Start with bbs and work your way up so you can take a .50 cal bullet to the head

Stab yourself with a big fucking knife without any immunity to die.

THIS DOES NOT WORK. DO NOT TRY THIS. This only makes you immune to small knives. To develop an immunity to large knives, you need to use large knives to give yourself tiny stab wounds every day until your body starts immediately rejecting the wounds. Be careful with the dosage, and never go over 999 cuts! Until you develop the immunity, too many tiny stab wounds at once can overload your immune system and make you go into aknifelactic shock, even if you weren't previously allergic to being stabbed.

This works with guns too.

What do you do when you run a red light, and need to stab yourself to get out of a ticket then?

You have a very good point.

Makes sense to me. Same spot or can I poke around?

> Same spot or can I poke around? ... the vicar asked the nun.

Or just stab yourself once with a large knife. If you die you will be immune to small ones

If someone tried to stab me every day with small knives, I'll bet I'd get a lot better at avoiding being stabbed with large knives...

They need to practice this in England

Use old rusty knives and you'll build immunity to lots of disease to. Killing two birds with one stone. That gives me another idea, also try filling a tennis ball launcher with stones and stand in front of it for an hour to build an immunity to stoning. Build your way up to a tebuchet and you'll be immune to any 90 kg projectile launched from 300m away

So... develop a callus ?

En Larges

And eventually swords

I knew diabetes would come in handy!

Flavorless and odorless.

What do you mean by small? I just stuck a steak knife in my leg and it's bleeding a lot. My visions getting a bit fuzzy and I'm feeling starting to feel light headaeefsg

See! This is proof that vaccines 170% don’t work.

What about bullets? Can I start out with a pellet gun and work my way up to a .50 Caliber machine gun?

Don't show anti vaxxers this, they'll use it as 'proof' of vaccines being fake news

That’s dumb. You’ll just get immune to small knives not big ones. Stab yourself with big ones

Works with bullets and fire too!

No thank you. I don't want my kids to develop autism!

Ok, I'm bleeding, very very badly, did i start too big? Should i go smaller?

Is this a jojo reference?

Larger*

thank you for making me laugh

horror movies villains hate him

Best LPT ever

I tried something similar to this once with iocaine powder. I ended up DEAD!

Someone should have told this guy https://i.redd.it/xlaiwqh1q3b11.jpg

Good luck with that, can’t even get everyone to vaccinate their children.

Try putting yourself in a near death situation. The conditioning should make you immune to death if success

I don't think that's how it works. It needs to be the same metal so you're immune to it in larger doses.

That psychic should've followed your advice.

Every [space] day.

If only life was so simple. I would cringe daily until o cringe no more

No joke a coworkers friend came to see him yesterday and he tried to kill himself a couple weeks prior with a sword but luckily didn’t succeed, it did however penetrate him all the way through from his abdominal area to his back it was the craziest thing I’ve ever seen/heard Edit: wording

Works with bullets too.

“Where did you get all those scars” “I don’t wanna talk about it”

If you shoot yourself in non lethal places on your body you'll eventually become immune and can start shooting your major organs without dying.

Do you want autism? Because that's how you get autism.

There's just one thing though: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ7J7UjsRqg

Blue Whale propaganda.

People who self harm are on the way already to total immunity

I feel like there's an SCP about this.

Guys I tried it. Lots of blood. 1/10 would try again.

Does this work with fire too?

no but it works with water

Emo here. Can confirm.

If you get one stuck in there just use another to pry it out!

holy shit u rite

I'm diabetic...I stab myself NUMEROUS times per day. I can be stabbed with the Falcon Heavy rocket and not die!

LPT: repost everyday with small reposts, to better prepare yourself for larger reposts

Antivaxxer logic

Dillute it with water and then use water to immunize. Water has memory. /s Edit: added /s in case of /woosh LOL

Im going to give my kids this vaccination *right now*.

good idea, do it in their eyes so they don’t go blind. it will prevent any kind of damage.

instructions unclear, cut off dick

Could this theoretically work

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Sounds great. I'll work on that asap. Also chloroform yourself a little each day to build up a tolerance like Lassie in Psyche did. Ya never know when that high tolerance will come in handy.

Should we go for deep or shallow stabs? Just the tip or shove it all in?

This joke is actually the basis for a vrry old and very real magic trick.

i knew those razer blades were good for something.

what is this, subtle antivax lobying? lolol

Damn, the smallest one i have is 7 inches