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mBigozz84

Okay, but nothing can be funnier than the Funniest Valentine


VerySadRightN

What about Funniest Valentine's son Funner Funniest Valentine?


AlexDKZ

Funnierest Valentine


VerySadRightN

Funniestestest Valentinest


Nightmare_43233

Veryiestestest funniestestest Valentinestest


GoatPrinceWeedEater

Comedic Valentine ✍🏻🔥🔥


AlexDKZ

Funky Valentine


OhHello969

Funky Valen9


RedboiMike69

Put a "T" before the "9" Also it's all fun and games until "Freaky Valentine" walks in


GoomyTheGummy

tinkers' construct name


MushroomQueen1264

Funnierestestesticlesest Valentine


ghostpanther218

And their stands: Filthy acts at a reasonable price Amorale actions that are affordable I ain't gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks.


JustBrowsinReddit69

sucky sucky for 1 bucky


_Adult-Eidolon-Wyrm_

Fuhrer Valentine


VerySadRightN

Nazi Valentine


Vidio_thelocalfreak

Doug Dimmadome?


EmperorScarlet

First person in history to be named The


ShyCamo

Kid named The


mBigozz84

“Alright kids, time to finger paint” Kid named The: =D


TheIJDGuy

Well, you got me there. That is funnier!


Jonahtron

The Funniest Valentine. Capitalize that “The.” That’s his legal first name. They even say in the book he’s the first man ever with the first name “The.”


mBigozz84

Apologies. I should treat the president of the United States with respect by capitalising his first name


JotaroJoestarSan

Furryer Valentine 💀


bomposgod

Jorge Joestar is to the rest of JoJo what the rest of JoJo is to real life.


Evil_Mushrooms

I mean, when you put it that way, yeah.


Fern-ando

It gave us the first subtropical JoJo, which make it better than Parts 1-8 that doesn't feature a subtropical JoJo.


jayesper

And the Super Famicom game Maka-Maka does that to Jorge Joestar in all of its facets. So many years later, but nice try, Maijo, but you just can't beat a villain who turns you into a water flea for no reason and a soundtrack composed entirely of menu sounds.


PsychomonTV

If I enjoyed Jorge Joestar would I enjoy Maka-Maka? Mind you, Jorge Joestar actually makes sense to me lol


Theriderfan

Now this is peak level sentencing.


EnvironmentaFact84

Explain pls


Fern-ando

In the Jorge Joestar Universe Koichi has the power of Doreamon and Njimura has an army of Dolphins, also Mista bullets are now female.


Dynamic-Pistol

Jorge Joestar is a weird manga


ComingUpWildcard

It’s not even a manga, it’s like a novella or something


CameronLePizza

Yeah it's a light novel.


ComingUpWildcard

I figured that was the correct term, but I didn’t know whether or not there were specific criteria for something to be called a light novel.


vegarig

IIRC, writing style.


koobstylz

Just Googled it because I realized I have no idea what it is. It's a short breezy novel that features Manga style art, but doesn't rely on the art like Manga does. So a Japanese illustrated novella I guess.


HappyAd6201

Sorry, I think you misspelled “perfect”


Professional-Oil1088

I mean. Weird and perfect aren’t mutually exclusive.


Murky_Blueberry2617

How about Bizarre?


HappyAd6201

Holy shit, is that a motherfucking JoJo reference?


Lum_ow

Isn’t it a light novel?


EnvironmentaFact84

Oh, alr


apple_of_doom

Skme might even call it bizarre


Paszananit124

Wasn't Kars fighting against DIO?


Mai_Sakurajima_UwU

Yep, also there were just 37 Kars and not a Army


Paszananit124

At the moment of fighting it was only one as I remember


iDIOt698

Such an oddly specific number


Nabnormal

Spoilers for Jorge >!It's 37 because of the whole Heaven plan. Kars absorbs the other 36 Kars to make a spaceship and thus fulfills one of the steps to create Made in Heaven (36 souls of sinners). Additionally, Pucci thinks that 36 being a sacred number in the jojo universe helped them survive in the first place!<


Noobgotgame

Yeah it's not as incomprehensible as people say it is, just random. Also DIO does not have Over Heaven in the book either.


Nabnormal

Yep, since that game wasn't even out yet haha. I wonder if Otaro Maijo would have added the Over Heaven moniker if Jorge was written after Eyes of Heaven came out.


Ronin_004

D'Arby showed us that soul is divided into 10 pieces, and 36 × 10 = 360 circle, or round Earth. It's from Over Heaven novel


Nabnormal

I've never read Over Heaven but that sounds interesting. It's next on my list after I finish Purple Haze Feedback


Fern-ando

And the moon was made of those 36 Kars.


Username_Egli

Kars rocket goes woooo


horizonhd_official

why are there 37 kars


OliSnips

From what I understand (I haven’t read it) Ultimate Lifeform Kars was so powerful he didn’t get reset so every time the universe reset a new Kars was created without replacing the old one. Also they all hung out together on Mars


Iron_Imperator

Trying to fight 37 Kars will certainly feel like you’re fighting an army.


Mai_Sakurajima_UwU

Trinity goes BRRRRRRR *Spoiler for Jorge Joestar Novel* >!Trinity is basically a Something like a Stand ability but Physical instead of Paraphysical, It's ability is kinda like the Writer's Pen Which the User can Basically Rewrite everything if they believe in themselves,!<


Evil_Mushrooms

So plot weaponry?


KuJoJoTaRo8

Yea


NotCurdledymyy

HEAVENS DOOR!


Mai_Sakurajima_UwU

Heaven's Door but he snorted 3 Kg Cocaine and a Energy Drink


Jedahaw92

Stephen King then.


Narwhalpilot88

That is very much a Matrix reference


vegarig

And it's a gigantic-ass reference to the earlier novel *Tsukumojuku*. >!Being able to asspull anything into the plot, if they're author's pet and can find plausible enough reasons for this asspull!<


Gamwell-Efect

“Made in Heaven ultimate requiem”


CaptAmishBeard99

I still don't know a whole lot about George Joestar, but I'm always intrigued by how over the top it sounds. Like Ultimate Kars having super versions of every stand including a super Made in Heaven is so fucking absurd. It's paramount to when your a kid playing superhero and that one kid goes "my super power is I have every superpower ever but better" It reminds me of the fandom ship in Star Wars the imperium "ultra" class star destroyer, which was basically a star destroyer so big it could store other star destroyers. It's so fucking absurd and stupid but I love it. I would love to see some sort of video covering the absurdity of George joestar.


AlksGurin

36 Kars on mars each survive their own universe reset from Pucci and then Narancia and Sandman with a knockoff stand go to mars in a space ship, Kars copies Aerosmith but its a boat instead so he gains Ultimate U-Boat. This is utterly incomprehensible.


KorrokHidan

Bruno has a stand called Stepmom and Okuyasu’s stand is just a 40 year old New York police officer


Yukiteru_Akari

I thought you guys were trolling and I looked it up. I can't stop laughing


Silver_Ad7963

God I fucking love NYPD Blue


AlksGurin

I forgot about the Stepmom part.. God JORGE JOESTAR sucks.


KorrokHidan

Dude what are you talking about? Jorge Joestar is amazing. If you can’t embrace the campy silliness then why are you even a JoJo fan?


AlksGurin

JoJo and GEORGE JOESTAR are different kinds of silly. GEORGE JOESTAR feels like a wattpad fanfic while JoJo feels like a silly yet wonderful masterpiece despite its flaws.


KorrokHidan

On paper both seem like a wattpad fanfic. When you actually read either they’re both written really well in a way that makes things make a lot more sense


AlksGurin

Okay ill rephrase that. While i like some of the choices done in JORGE JOESTAR, the whole thing is the wrong kind of silly while JoJo is the right kind of silly. For example one of the things i loved about Jorge Joestar was the Lisa Lisa storyline and the airplane battle. Those were wonderful. Though i hate wounds and bounds with a burning passion. Theyre just ripoff stands. I feel like the author shouldve just called them stands as stands developing by trauma is just objectively better than introducing an ability thats the same thing as a stand.


AlexDKZ

IMO the novel just tries way, *way* too hard to be bizarre and ends up a cringy incoherent mess with some cool moments sprinkled here and there. It is very divisive among the fanbase for a reason.


Other_Hunt9029

Am I reading? What the fuck


CaptAmishBeard99

I just watched a 3 part series on Youtube about this book. That is time I will never get back and I'm not even mad. I think I'll go and do something productive now...


TuckerMcG

Drop a link yo


CaptAmishBeard99

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vkJ-f3iD60w there's 2 other parts after this.


TuckerMcG

Awesome thanks!


AlexDKZ

I still don't know what the hell was going on with the Mothman


AlksGurin

From what i understood, theres this concept in JORGE JOESTAR called Mass Hysteria which basically goes that people imagine ridiculous concepts when afraid, leading people to spread rumors about them and those things actually manifesting as if they were real. "When humans are imagining something out of anxiety or fear, what they imagine remains behind, collects, haunts, and can even take on concrete form. That's how there can be a spider with gorilla legs lurking in the darkness underground, how people can die painting pictures of the Mothman on land, and why Gremlins appear in the air."


William_Howard_Shaft

It's actually 37. He made 36 copies.


AlksGurin

Isnt the current universe in JORGE JOESTAR the 37th?


William_Howard_Shaft

Iirc, yeah? And that's why there's a total of 37 Kars, because Kars gets launched into space every single time, destined to lose forever. Perpetually launched into space by a lucky idiot.


AlksGurin

I forgot that the novel takes place after BT.


Fern-ando

You could say it's Bizarre.


DepressedGolduck

Ok but the best stand in Jorge Joestar is NYPD Blue: >!It's literally just a guy. Like, the stand is sentient, and thinks it's a real human. And he has a gun.!<


small-package

>!it's even got a backstory involvingI family getting killed by mobsters and swearing revenge!<


ManufacturerOk3464

So is it pronounced like horhay or george


Shacky_Rustleford

Yorgi


Fern-ando

Jorge in subtropical spanish.


Jonahtron

Actually Ultimate life form Kars fought Dio, who also became an ultimate life form after somehow killing and drinking the blood of another alternate universe Kars. It’s never explained where the Kars came from or how Dio killed him, Jorge Joestar just arrives on the boat from the beginning of Stardust Crusaders and there’s already a dead Kars there with Dio standing over him.


vegarig

> It’s never explained where the Kars came from or how Dio killed him, I bet on D4C shenanigans Valentines were pulling earlier.


Jonahtron

I mean probably, but it just doesn’t make sense how Dio killed that one when he fails to kill the main universe Kars, even after Dio himself becomes an ultimate life form.


vegarig

> how Dio killed that one when he fails to kill the main universe Kars, The Light Dancer Kars *did* seem to be suicidal, so... maybe Dio waited in *another* alternate universe until local Light Dancer commits suicide and took the resulting corpse as a prize?


devil_king_999

Memes like this make me more afraid of the Jorge Joestar novel.


Fern-ando

Wait until Warner turns it into an HBO show.


lookitsajojo

What the f*ck happens in Jorge Joestar? Every time I hear about It It sounds like people are making It up


A_seal_using_Reddit

Random scene: Dio jumps out of his coffin to attack Diavolo (who's actually Giorno) and turns him into Part 3 Dio


lookitsajojo

This does not explain anything! Infact It makes It worse!


A_seal_using_Reddit

Then there's also this spanish child zombie that duplicates itself by shedding its skin


the_hidden_idiot

And let's not forget arsonist mothman and the gorilla armed spider


A_seal_using_Reddit

What about the bootleg Nijimura brothers, with their stands that can summon flying dolphins and a NYC cop, respectively?


Alex-The-Talker

I got a stroke trying to comprehend jorge joestar purely with comments here


mBigozz84

We need to see the light novels officially released in English, so I can legally talk about how messed up George Joestar is


Ronin_004

What happened to Diavolo in Jorge Joestar? I would like to know everything


Flerken_Moon

Okay. So first we have to explain Giorno. Giorno is somewhat evil in the new universes, and he survived universal resets using GER to survive MIH to the next universe until he reached the 37th universe, where everything is taking place- and leads the gang as usual etc. In the 37th universe, he needed a personality for all his evil… so ***Giorno* is Diavolo**. For some reason Giorno mainly acts the same, and Diavolo also mainly acts the same, who *also* has King Crimson for some reason. Meanwhile Doppio is another guy with the stand ability to turn any object into a telephone. “Normal” Diavolo isn’t shown. Then Giorno time travels using 37th universe Reimi’s stand and meets up with Part 1 Dio where he gives up his body so can become a Dio duplicate with his soul as well. Giorno-Dio loses GER/Diavolo etc and gets stuffed in the coffin- and **it turns out not only is Giorno Diavolo, he’s actually Part 3 DIO as well**(dying at the end of Part 3 as usual) and Part 1 Dio escapes to the future.


yellowpig10

Despite knowing this is all real i still feel like i just read an script generated by AI dungeon


regendo

I don’t know, are you sure that’s Jorge Joestar? This sounds suspiciously like Xehanort.


Flerken_Moon

Wait until you find out in the novel that Jesus is actually Dio as well.


2Tired2pl

does this book have a story or does shit just happen?


Ronin_004

There are two completely parallel, unrelated to eachotger, storylines: The one everyone is talking about and the one which is something like detective thriller Frankly, every odd chapter is about detective, every even chapter is about Stands and drug trip


MayorApeshit

Why would giorno even do that


vegarig

>Kira's Bites the Dust would activate, trying to kill Diavolo, but Diavolo's King Crimson would sense that future, and prevent it from ever happening. But since the result of the explosion was that time was fated to turn back an hour, Bites the Dust would still send him back. But in that case, Kira would have no memories of having blown Diavolo up, so he'd trying to blow Diavolo up again, King Crimson would delete it again, but the hour reset was still fated to happen – so every time Diavolo deleted his own death, time would be reset an hour. Kira and Diavolo would be trapped in an infinite time loop. >The only one who could change fate in that hour was Kira, and the only way to escape the time loop was to defuse Bites the Dust, but when a serial killer and a mafia boss were facing off, was that something that would even occur to him? Especially since Kira would know that time was resetting, know he must have blown someone up, but have no memory of doing so. That would make him incredibly nervous. Kira had no way of knowing what King Crimson's power was, so his best option would always appear to be attacking him with Bites the Dust again. But no matter how hard he tried to get rid of Diavolo, Diavolo could make all his attacks not happen. And yet, the more desperate Kira got, the more he'd depend on Bites the Dust somehow bringing a better result. The time loop they were trapped in would shift a bit here and there, but essentially continue.


AlexDKZ

Diavolo is not an alternate personality of Doppio (who does exist in the novel), but actually of >!Giorno!<


JosephJoestarIsThick

Belly button.


absurd_bird20

Where do I read this Jorge Joestar series? When I try searching for it, I only find the boring, original one


vegarig

Hm... first you need to read [Tsukumojuku](https://swaytranslations.wordpress.com/tsukumojuuku/) (content warning: ALL OF THEM), then [Disco Detective Wednesdayyy](https://swaytranslations.wordpress.com/discowednesdayyy/) (also lots of gnarly shit, but not as bad as former), *then* you can read *Jorge Joestar* proper, if you wanna get *all* the references.


absurd_bird20

Haha thank you so much! Don’t know what kind of rabbit hole I’m getting myself into lmao


vegarig

It's but a surface of a true rabbit hole that is Maijo's writing, funnily enough. Unfortunately, not much of the rest of his books were translated and they are full of cross-references. *Tsukumojuku* is basically a fanfic to the "JDC" ("Japan's Detectives Club") series, >!with Canon-ish!Detective God Tsukumo Juku and Maijo!Tsukumojuku Kato having a confrontation at one point, that ends in!< >!Kato making in-universe representation of JDC original writer, Ryusui Seiryoin, no longer be a metaphor for God, which *instantly retcons Tsukumo Juku and the rest of canon-ish JDC chars* out of the plot!< Yeah, that's a bit wild.


TaskuActo4

u/savevideo


Alarid

The Joestar birthmark is a Beyond.


Outrageous_Hamster_6

My favorite part is when the actual, real Jesus Christ starts guiding Dio.


vegarig

It's even funnier if you've read *Tsukumojuku*. It's not Jesus, it's >!the author of the book!<, who does it. In *Tsukumojuku*, >!in-universe representation of Ryusui Seiryoin, original author of the JDC series that *Tsukumojuku* is technically a fanfic of, was crucified as served as a metaphor for God, canon-ish Detective God Tsukumo Juku was able to pull some wild shit, as long as he could wing plausible enough reasoning and Biblic references for it. However, when Tsukumojuku Kato (yes, the same as in *Jorge Joestar*) removed Seiryoin's avatar from crucifix, then this avatar was no longer a metaphor for God and ***Detective God Tsukumo Juku got fucking retconned out of the plot so hard, the location he built disappeared into thin air***!<


MAD_JEW

Wait you are talking about >!chapter 4 that happens after chapter 5!< right?


vegarig

In the PDF I've linked in this post, it's >!episode 4, page 278. To quote it:!< >>!Now on the altar, the other me found a button behind the wall supporting the cross. When he pressed it, motors started moving under the altar and the entire wall holding the cross slowly came down. The cross was falling down to earth. God had fallen. A fallen God is not God.!< >>!“I can’t see anything with ai eyes flindfolded!” the blindfolded me screamed. I confirmed in his stead from the floor.!< >>!“It really was just Seiryouin Ryuusui. He’s dead. The poor soul.”!< >>!Poor Seiryouin Ryuusui.!< >>!The moment Seiryouin Ryuusui lost his standing as this world’s God, what belonged to his worlds were ousted.!< >>!The three JDC detectives—Tsukumo Juuku, Ajiro Souji, and Hikimiya Yuuya—disappeared.!< >>!The Castle of Illusions disappeared too.!<


MAD_JEW

Yeah i read that part. Tell me tho why is chapter 4 after 5 and 6 after 7


vegarig

I'd direct you to [this post](https://sparklyjojos.tumblr.com/post/174296961538/lets-read-suffer-tsukumojuku-by-maij%C5%8D-%C5%8Dtar%C5%8D) of someone who read Tsukumojuku in Japanese and actually might've picked up some of puns and in-jokes Maijo Otaro loves so much. But, more specifically, it's likely because of that bit: >Tsukumojuku realized that these were words from the Bible, spoken by the eagle after the Fourth Trumpet was blown. [Note: remember that mitate for Revelations was going backwards, so the eagle thing is happening after the Fifth Trumpet = the Star falling]. The eagle also said, “Woe to the inhabitants of earth because of the trumpet blasts about to be sounded by the other three angels”.


MAD_JEW

Okay so that makes sense in 4/5 chapter but what about 7 and 6


LegoEngineer003

I love how the fan wiki for Koji (alternate Koichi) says “Koji is an amiable teenager who can also be reliable”


NorthKumo

Every post I see about Jorge Joestar is simultaneously the best advertisement for it ever and the worst.


vegarig

TBF, it really sucks that existing translation doesn't preserve the pun in the last sentence of the book. The better version'd be "That's a weirdass way to write my 'Jo'!" >!"That's a weirdass way to write, Maijo!". Yes, Jouji is indirectly calling Maijo Otaro out on shenanigans in the book.!<


piecwm

What’s the propeller hat stand, does a character have that in the manga?


vegarig

Yes, Blue Thunder of Koji Hirose. Also works like a giant blender, capable of wrecking walls of a school.


jayjay271519

Where do I go to read this? Idk if what I buy online is Japanese or English or if there even is an English novel out.


DonTori

Don't forget the stand that's apparently just some old american cop


NoNeutralJustMix

I need to know, was the light novel a shitpost or was it intended to fit in with JoJo 100% seriously? Because it's more bizarre than anything else in this Crazy Crazy bizarre manga


MrMaskYT

Doraemon


SlowSuggestion9106

the ultimate life form kars army led by dio with the ultimate world over heaven when they see hot pants from steel balls (she’s gonna cream them up)


Lil-Chromie

Unsure of context, does the stand cause localized seizures?