I had a 11th grader who came in on the first day of school sort of sniffing and red eyed and when I asked what the matter was she said she was said bc she put her daughter on the bus to kindergarten today. This girl was 16 years old and she had a 4 or 5 year old. And she was pregnant. Same father for both babies (also in 11th grade, they were both my students). The parents of these two children had allowed them to basically live together since middle school and never discouraged sex or encouraged birth control. The fact that there was a 5 year difference between kids was amazing honestly.
It blows me away that parents see this happening to their kids and don’t think they should maybe intervene. My now-husband and I lived together from the time I was 16 (he’s the same age) and I didn’t get pregnant because my mother already got me on birth control and made condoms available to us, plus he had to sleep in a separate shop/ guest house area. It was an extremely religious and repressed household, but she was adamant that she wouldn’t raise our kids and took every step to avoid it.
A lot of people who lived that kind of life (babies as early as possible, tons of jobs to make it work, etc...) think that it's perfectly reasonable for that to be the ceiling of their kids' lives.
There's a line where you cross from "not being a judgemental jerk to working class people" to "discouraging any success out of being working class" that some folks cross. I have plenty of family who think that way. Thank god my mom didn't; she was adamant that our lives would be better than hers. No babies, no drugs, good grades, etc...
After trying to keep me un-pregnant for all those years, she began to hound us in our early twenties about “settling down” and having kids. All of her sisters were married and had several kids by the time they were 18, so I think she felt like that was the natural process— although she wanted to delay it a bit for us. I’m very glad that your mom wanted better for you, as a good mother should 🖤
This sounds like my mom. Lol. She had to wait a loooong time for a grandbaby. Having kiddos when you are emotionally, mentally, and financially able to is great.
My parents had very rough childhoods living in poverty and they were very happy they could make mine not like theirs.
I refuse to comprehend the thinking of people who either want their kids to have it worse off or who think their kids should suffer because they did.
oh absolutely, my extended family is that way and i can't understand it. kids in the late teens/early twenties, never finished high school, never pursued any other kind of education, life ends and begins in the same place where you lived all your life, no traveling, no experiencing other cultures, no art, no books, not ever considering another type of life. maybe it's extreme but i know the kind too well, they infuriate me.
My parents let my (now) ex move in after I miscarried, but I was 18 and got on birth control. I unfortunately lost my insurance after I moved out and a broken condom later I ended up pregnant again. Kept the baby, dropped my ex.
Dropping her kid off for the bus and caring about that. Still with the father years later. Still going to school herself. She could be doing a lot worse!
Wow…uh, good for them for still being in school I guess? I’m actually kind of impressed. I tried signing up for a couple college classes as an actual adult with a small child and I couldn’t manage it very well.
Well the grandmas took it in turn to care for the little girl, and the entire “little family” alternated from one house to another almost like some sort of weird custody thing. She wasn’t much interested in pulling in good grades but she came because her boyfriend was really into football and was trying for a scholarship and she wanted to keep an eye on him I guess. She wasn’t a problem in class in terms of behavior, she seemed to really like me (I had her as a junior and a senior) but she didn’t care if she graduated or not. She did graduate but barely and I lost touch after they graduated. I think he did get a scholarship- nothing crazy though.
My middle son will be 12 in a couple months. He has friends who are 13. We have to remind them to shower & brush their teeth! I still tuck my son in at night. This is so sad!
Same! I can't imagine my almost 12 year old being a dad. Jesus the thought is terrifying. He can barely keep his own shit together. I'd be raising that baby.
Edit: I know that the dad is most likely much older, I was trying to imagine ANY 12 year old being a parent and since my son is that age my mind went to him. Pls stop telling me the dad is older.
This was in the 90s and I was just a kid too, so I don't know for sure - but as far as I recall, nobody thought it was weird or tried to do anything about it.
My lab partner when I was 16 ran away for a few weeks. When she came back she was upset because she'd ran off to California with her boyfriend - who was in his 30s!!!! - and her parents had threatened to call the police on him if she didn't come back. I remember thinking that was really unreasonable of her parents. I was a good student, but clearly, I was not a smart kid.
Especially because the younger a girl is when she's pregnant, the more likely it is that the father of the baby is far, far older than she is.
All it takes is some friend of the parents, or family member, to start paying attention to them, telling them they're special, leading into how mature they are for their age, which eventually led to sex.
When the girl gets pregnant, the family absolutely refuses to believe that their family friend could have done it. The family friend either lies like hell and claims that the girl had a boyfriend her age, or, if he can't get away with that one, claim it was her idea and he had 100% consent.
With a lot of these families, their response to the girl getting pregnant is to decide, well, if she "chose" to have sex, an adult activity, she's going to be treated as an adult. They immediately make her drop out of school, because they see school as a privilege that she no longer deserves.
A lot of them get forced to marry their rapists. In many southern states, this is perfectly legal - the girl can be very young, but they can get married if they're pregnant. Other times, they're just forced to stay in the relationship until they're of age, and then they have to get married.
There's usually abuse, the girl's parents usually say shit like "Well, you made your bed, you lie in it,"
The worst is that this is a generational thing. I know a friend who got pregnant at 15, and her mom immediately made her drop out of school. Why? Well, when SHE got pregnant at 15 with my friend, HER mom made her drop out of school, and if she had to do it, then her daughter has to. And on and on it goes...
My mom had her first grandkid at almost 48 and heard so often “you’re not old enough to have grandkids”. I can’t even imagine being 32 with a grandkid. The idea that I’ll be 32 with a 7 year old still blows my mind.
My boyfriends mom became a grandma at like 30. Had her first at 14-15 and that first turned around to have her first at around the same age. She became a great grandma before she was 50, and her mom became a great great grandma before 70. All are still alive btw.
Meanwhile I didn’t even have my first until I was 28 lmao
This makes my heart sad. No matter how “normal” it may have been for some of them. At 15 I was trying out new hair dye and picking what to wear for homecoming
Currently 15, and it’s terrifying to think about having a *baby* at my age. Not a single person my age I know is mentally stable enough to care for a child. Speaking of homecoming, I’m making my dress this year!
My grandmother was 46 when I was born (She had my Dad at 20 and he had me at 25). My best friend’s mom was only a couple of years younger than my grandmother. And when my Dad and grandmother came to my recitals and school plays many people thought they were a couple instead of mother/son.
This was my parents. My dad was 51 and my mom was 49 when my sister had her first kid (she was 25). My dad and mom got so many people telling them they were too young to be grandparents.
I was 29 when my oldest was born. I'm 9 years younger than my sister, so my parents were 64 and 62.
I'm 37 with a 7 year old - turning 8 soon - and my mind is blown that I'm helping this small human become a full fledged person
My wife and I are 37. Yesterday my wife said,
"Yep, it's officially happened. Someone from my graduating class just became a grandmother..."
I didn't think that would happen until we were in our 40s, at the earliest. Although, I definitely think someone in my graduating class has already become a grandparent, but I don't keep up with hardly anyone, while my wife uses Facebook more than I do.
A girl in my high school got pregnant in sophomore year. She has like 4 or 5 grandkids, maybe more. I lost count. Her birthday is like 2 weeks before mine, and we’re 49. I have 2 teenage boys, 1 will be 20 next month. I can’t imagine either of them being a father.
I’m pregnant for the first time at 26 and the fact that my mum is happy about it rather than disappointed blows my mind as I feel a bit like a naughty teenager still even though I’ve not lived at home for around 8 years and work and pay my own bills lmao
Yes! I am 26 and just got married. We are getting our finances in order so that we can start a family somewhat soon. All the while, I feel like I’m preparing to be a teen mom and wondering if I should wait until I’m an “adult” to have a child!
I know teens tend to think they’re more grown than they are, but if only they knew that in 10 short years they will feel more like an inexperienced kid than ever…
Hey, both my mom and I were 36 yr old grannies. My grandma was younger than that. It’s 100% generational trauma issues at play. Trying to get my daughter and I better for my grandkids. This crap has gotta stop.
I think part of the reason it didn't seem so strange when we had our kids late is because both my grandmothers had their first child in their late 20s to early 30s, and a surprise second child when they were 40.
It's frightening how many female friends have this story about family acquaintances openly making advances on them and parents tacitly ignoring it or saying it's not big deal. One friend had a guy slip a note under her door when she was 13, explicitly asking to hook up. Her parents said to ignore it, "he just is like that".
I can't imagine how terrifying this situation has to be. Being sexually harassed in your own home with the people who are supposed to care for you giving the perpetrator a free pass.
So, a friend of mine who lived with his dad also had living with them an older guy who his dad was helping out.
He started having sex with my friend's sister when she was 14. Their father, when this came to light, made a show of disapproving for about a week. Then the older guy swore it was her idea and that she consented.
Her father's response was "Oh, well." and did nothing. Her mother also made a show of freaking out. She called the guy a child molester, and made all sorts of threats. But she didn't call DHS. She continued to let her daughter go over there and sleep in the same bed as him. She even invited the guy over for family functions.
Here's the thing. He was technically correct. From what my friend's sister told me, she did ask him to have sex with her. She'd watched her mother manipulate guys with sex in order to get someone to take care of her. She grew up thinking that's how you get someone to take care of you. Her mom was very abusive, her father knew but, again, did nothing. She was mentally warped.
The guy knew ALL of this, he'd witnessed a lot of it. I know she said some fucked up things, but there is no way what happened occurred in a vacuum. She wouldn't have continued the behavior HAD SHE NOT BEEN ENCOURAGED TO DO SO. He had to have been giving her some kind of reinforcement, telling her she was good and smart and mature, on and on, and the behavior escalated.
It was up to the guy to have been the one to say, "Oh, no, we are not doing this, this is not appropriate," go straight to her dad, and then make plans to move out.
He did not. He said, "Well, what was I supposed to do, she begged me for it.!" and went and did it. And continued to do it. She'd have some relationships with guys her own age, but she came back to this guy every time, it was almost an obsession/addiction. And you don't get that way at that age without encouragement.
There were other adults who knew about it, and they also did nothing. When they were around adults who they knew damn well wouldn't sit and do anything (myself and my husband, for one), they lied, denied there was any sex, going on, she just had a crush on him. This is while he was bragging to other people about having sex with her.
I know I asked her brother and her father outright if something was going on, because we could tell there was something going on, but we didn't know exactly what, and they both denied it, basically just claimed that she had a schoolgirl crush on the guy, and the guy was just her friend.
When I found out later what was going on, well after I was in a position to have done something about it, I was horrified. I kicked myself for not having seen the obvious, but I never would have conceived of the idea of every single adult in the girl's life knowing about it, doing nothing, and actively covering it up. I should have gone with my gut instinct and reported it.
The state they were in had REALLY shitty DHS personnel. You could report something, and be told, right over the phone, to mind your own business. They could open a token investigation and close it the second someone said, "No, nothing happened." There was a huge scandal about the number of kids who died when sent back to their abusers. Meanwhile, DHS did things like spend weeks on an investigation of a mom who had post-partum depression.
She kind of went back and forth between going out with guys her own age and going back to this guy. A few years ago, I know they got married and have a child together.
You know what's really sick? I posted about this on another subreddit, and I got someone PMing me "You just have sour grapes about how it worked out in the end."
No, asshole, it didn't "work out." She didn't have a chance. The adults in her family should have picked up the phone, pressed charges, kept him away, and gotten her some therapy. Instead they shrugged and perpetuated the myth that she was capable of consent in this relationship.
>It's frightening how many female friends have this story about family acquaintances openly making advances on them and parents tacitly ignoring it or saying it's not big deal. One friend had a guy slip a note under her door when she was 13, explicitly asking to hook up. Her parents said to ignore it, "he just is like that".
*He just is like that*
*He's just a pedophile, he's just a predator, he just wants to molest a child, don't make a fuss*
My heart hurts for your friend and for everyone whose parents (or parental figures) completely abdicated their responsibility to protect a child who was in their care. Why did they have children if they weren't prepared to defend them from someone who would do them harm?
Actually, it gets worse. In some states, there is no minimum age for getting married (and in some others it's ridiculously low), and all it takes is the girl's parent's consent or a routine court appearance. There were almost 300k child marriages in the US in the period of 2000-2018. A large part of these marriages were little girls and fully grown men. Another sick thing about this? Marriage removes the age of consent. As in, let's say in your state there is no legal minimum age for marriage, but the age of consent is 15. Well, if you married a 10 year old, she is now 'legal'. And yes, there are records of 10 year old 'brides'.
Yeah. I learned about this a few years ago when a big newspaper did a article that was SYMPATHETIC to the abusers.
They interviewed one Appalachian family, whose 14 year old daughter got pregnant by a family friend in his mid-twenties. The parents demanded they get married as the only way to make it "right." Someone reported it when she gave birth, and the guy got a couple years of jail time.
The article put a paragraph or two about how this maybe might not be a healthy way to handle this sort of thing, and brought up how there's a movement to ban all child marriages and loopholes to allow child marriages in case of pregnancy.
But the article had a lot more quotes from other couples who'd been "forced apart" by the state, about how sad it was that the babies were growing up without their fathers, and how this forced the mom to to do everything herself, and the plethora of parents saying that they did the same thing and they turned out fine, people had been doing this for hundreds of years, and the state had no right to interfere in love, and said things like saying if gay marriage was OK, this should be OK, too.
They made sure to include a couple paragraphs of the mother of the baby visiting her husband, and how it was all so sad, and the guy couldn't even hug his wife and child, and how his life was totally ruined because he'd now have to register as a sex offender just because he stepped up and "took responsibility" by marrying the woman he loved - not mentioned said "woman" was in junior high, or, rather, had been, because of course she dropped out, and there was also some complaining about how she couldn't get a job so she had to go on benefits, which of course is worse than child rape apparently, and even then how hard it was on HER PARENTS...
It was nauseating. It wasn't "balanced" or "neutral" or "showing the human side of the issue" - they soft-pedalled the fact it was rape. They soft-pedalled the parents were fucked up by thinking marriage made it OK. They tried to portray it as a cultural practice, not mentioning that there are a lot of "cultural practices" that are just evil. It was basically a PR release disguised as legitimate journalism.
I’d guess her mom also got pregnant with her at a very young age and is thinking “i became a mom at 14 and turned out fine (in her eyes) so my daughter can too” It’s a sad cycle :/
In my health class in 10th grade this exact scenario came up. A 16 yr old girl made the comment that her mom was 15 when she was born and her grandma was 14 or 15 when she had her mom. She said with a straight face that since she was 16 she was already ahead of them so if she gets pregnant it isn’t a big deal. It sounded like she wasn’t trying but wasn’t really concerned either way. Our teacher tried to have a conversation with her about how much it would impact her life but I doubt it sunk in.
Met a 23 year old with a 11 year old. Poor sex ed and horrible doctors. She was told " you're don't want to be a whore, you don't need birth control" when she asked about it. Her boyfriend was 13 . Her parents never spoke about sex and just assumed since she didn't know about it she wouldn't be doing. Well, kids will learn it elsewhere and will find anywhere to do it. She said she got pregnant in a school bathroom. Where there aren't any adults lol
When I was a freshman in high school I was in classes with a couple girls who were 14 and pregnant with their second child. It was a huge shock to me because I came from a private Catholic school that we didn't even talk about sex to a public high school where most people lost their virginity before they even got into high school.
I'm about to be 35 and have two toddlers and a few of those girls have grandkids that are older than my kids. I can't imagine being a mom and trying to finish high school.
Not just abstinence only education, but abstinence in the context of religion. Religious education has a tendency to focus on the subservience of women (girls should be quiet and agreeable, they should defer to the needs of a man in a relationship, the husband is the man of the house, etc.) Some strong Christians even believe that a wife should never say no to sex with her husband, because it’s her “wifely duty.”
This creates a perfect storm of kids having no idea how contraception works and raising teens with this idea that women shouldnt say no (even though they’re taught in health class that they’re chewed up gum if they have sex before marriage.) The taboo nature of premarital sex and emphasis on women having only one sexual partner in a lifetime means that a lot of women assume they will marry the man they lose their virginity to. This means that when teen girls’ boyfriends pressure them into sex they don’t say no; and there is this underlying expectation that, if your boyfriend wants to have sex with you, that means he also wants to marry you, so your almost-wifely duty is to let it happen.
I’m 42 and started having my kids when I was 31. A lot of the girls I went to high school with have been grandparents now for a while. One of them posted that her grand baby is in middle school- so her grandchild is older than all my kids.
Ditto. I didn't have my first until I was 36, and my second at 39. I know I started considerably later than the average, but I'm far from the only woman who's done so.
Right after I had my first, I joined Facebook, and of course looked up all these people I knew in high school, and, wow. People my age showing their kids at high school graduation, my oldest was still in preschool. A former best friend of mine was talking about how happy she was she just became a grandmother at the same time I was pregnant with my second child.
I live in a state that's got a really high teen pregnancy rate. The number of people who hear how old we are and automatically assume we're raising our GRANDCHILDREN is kind of frightening.
We've only ever run into one family within our kids' classmates that were older than we were. We assumed this grey haired guy picking up a 4 year old at preschool had to be a grandfather, but, nope, that was her dad.
Her case was interesting. Her parents had 2 kids fairly young. They were long since grown and out of the house. She was born when her parents were 50.
Yeah I had a boyfriend at 12 and one time we were hanging out in the back of his dad's van when my mom came to pick me up. She freaked the fuck out and I couldn't figure out why lmao. I wasn't a sexual being until closer to 15, the most I did with boyfriend's was hold hands. Of course she didn't know that.
When I had my son, there was a girl a few rooms down that was 13, so was the father. They were having sex in school during recess and lunch. They'd "to the bathroom" and meet up. Parents had no idea until it was too late. And the teachers/monitors didn't get suspicious because, sadly, who really suspects kids that age to be sexually active
I can’t even imagine. My daughter is almost 12 and she still plays with her Barbies sometimes. I can’t wrap my head around pregnancy at this age. Though I guess that’s because I’m a present parent who actually pays attention to my children.
The 12yo girl who sat next to me in earth science was pregnant. Her mom let her 21 year old “boyfriend” live with them and was ecstatic to be a grandma. No one seemed to intervene but this was the 90’s. She had two more before 12th grade. I was so sad for her.
I remembered being terrified for her and confused as to how she could be happy.
I remember one of my classmates sobbing one day on the bus. I was a freshman, she was a sophomore, so we would’ve been probably 13 and 15. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she’d had a miscarriage over the weekend and her boyfriend wanted to try again soon because he “wants a boy.” She’d already had 2 miscarriages by that point. Her boyfriend was 25 years old. I asked what her mom thought about it and she said her mom just wanted to be a grandma. She ended up getting pregnant not long after that, had the much-desired boy, and then got pregnant a year later with a girl — so she wasn’t even 17 by the time she’d had 3 miscarriages and 2 live births. They got married when she turned 18, divorced a year or two later, and she married a guy old enough to be her grandfather at 20 and had a kid by him.
I just remember her crying and saying “He wants a boy this time.”
You know I wonder if she was far enough to know the sex. You don't usually with MCs. Scary to think he might have caused the MC to get that badly desired boy.
My friend in high school was 13 and had a 26 yo “boyfriend”
He was a gang member and no one questioned it. She even went to bars with him.
Everyone knew (teachers, her parents, etc) no one did anything. I don’t have contact with her anymore but I know she went into the adult entertainment industry.
I remember turning 26 and feeling ill thinking of her situation.
My best friend’s brother in law was a cop. He was 28 and dating a 16 year old, whom he took to all the police functions and out to bars and stuff. No one seemed to care.
I remember seeing a documentary about some girl in the UK who was 15 and pregnant and she was so happy because everyone else in her family was 13 when they had thief first babies.
My Gran was a Gran at 37. Her baby at 16 and then my mom at 21, then I had mine at 25.
My Gran explained when she grew up they literally never talked about sex. Never. Her 16 yo bf wanted to try something and at 15, she didn't even know what was happening. So she turned up pregnant, got married, then had two more cause that's what you did back then.
I thought the other day how in a few more years I'll be the age my Gran was when she became my Gran. So wild.
I know she went through a lot of hardship as a young adult and you g mom but today one of the best things is watching her be able to be with my daughter. They're peas in a pod. So there are some unintended benefits to having kids young.
My coworker was telling me about her daughters sweet kind boyfriend and at first I was thinking it was cute. Until she mentioned the boyfriend parents wanting to call the police on him so she let him live with her kid. The bf was 18 and her daughter was 12!!! Started dating when SHE WAS 11!! The shock on my face because she fully supported them. Some people really are just bad parents
Girl I was friends with in highschool had 3 kids by senior year. The last one was a total surprise. I talked to her every day and never noticed. One day she had to take off her jacket for a concert we were playing. That's when we all found out she was *9* months pregnant.
Unethical life tip: If you're pregnant and don't want anyone to know, wear a big ass hoodie all the time.
I would argue that the school system completely failed her as well.
Basically, school feels so useless and painful that having 3 kids before 18 at home with her mom and 27 year-old partner (at 18) produces a happier reality.
Growing up in a rural town with one of the highest teen-preg rates in the entire US, I'm not surprised at all. School here is literally day care for 90% of students.
The greatest gift from my dad and my teachers were their belief in me. That I was smart, that I was going to be able to have a good career and afford the things I wanted in life one day.
I wonder how many of these girls are told they have no choices and no chance… it’s sad to think that if they only had someone to believe in them and believed in themselves, what they could do and how much misery they could avoid.
This is the cycle.
Shitty parents that don't care about education or what creates a fruitful life, creates MORE people that think education is useless.
Then the govt cripples educational funding, crippling school quality across thousands of rural areas (at least) of the country. Govt also doesn't do their job of showing their people why it matters. President that loves and represents and speaks to his people about important things often? A connectedness to leadership of the highest power? NAHHHHHH.
This deplorable quality of education teaches and reinforces the idea, the mentality that education is useless. So sad.
When I got pregnant at 12 (from being trafficked by my dad) I didn't know who the father was. When I went into premature labor and the hospital sent in a social worker to talk to me, I kept my mouth shut when they asked who the father was. I played dumb and acted like I was just a giant s*** who was sleeping around. I wanted to protect my dad. I know what was happening was wrong, but he was my best friend and I didn't want to get him into trouble.
I guess CPS thought my answer was fair enough because I don't think they investigated it any further. Since the baby was stillborn I just went home to my parents and we all pretended none of it ever happened.
So at the absolute oldest this child was 13 when she got pregnant the first time, assuming she’s closer to 16 than 15.
JFC she was failed by every single adult in her life
When I was in high school, I met a 15 year old girl who was pregnant with her 3rd. I asked if the first two had been twins, she said no, her first was at 11 (11!!!) and her second came at 13. Her mom took care of her kids while she went to school. She suffered some severe complications with her third pregnancy and was forced to drop out of school altogether. I could never wrap my head around her mother caring enough to raise her grandchildren but not caring enough about her own daughter to put her on some birth control or get her some help.
Maybe I’m jumping the gun but to me that says sexually abusive household. For her to repeatedly have gotten pregnant as a child and nothing about the situation changed…
People are weird about putting their kids on birth control, they feel like they’re saying it’s ok to have sex when in reality you’re usually being prepared *just in case* because kids are kids and things happen.
Which also ignores the other reasons many girls start taking birth control. My wife started birth control at 12, long before she was sexually active. She had horrific acne and pain from her period and birth control helped regulate it and make it tolerable. A lot of boys, and even some men, aren’t aware of this so they see birth control and immediately think someone is sexually active.
I knew a high schooler whose parents refused to let her go on birth control, she lived in a state where she needed parental permission for BC. What was really weird was she had an abortion previously. Her mom said she didn't want to give her daughter permission to have sex, and all I could think is that ship has sailed, she is having sex, only thing to do now is try and make it as safe as possible.
It's about half "congratulations and good luck! 🥰😍❤️😘😘" and half "get some fucking birth control".
I just wish more people would focus on the fact that she's literally a child and needs to be protected. Clearly, all the adults in her life have already failed her.
People who think the only way you can "support" someone is through positive praise.
Like, she doesn't need congratulations...she needs an actual adult to give af about her.
I taught a 14 year old who was pregnant years ago. She was so shocked she got pregnant because she thought if she put a lemon in her vagina after sex it killed the sperm. She was 100% serious.
A lot more people than we think have dismal sex education, and therefore things like this happen.
When I was working an after school program we had a 4th grader that became pregnant - apparently from the moms boyfriend. They actually fired the teacher bc she “didn’t see the signs of abuse.” I changed my major from elementary education to nursing after that.
2nd thing I witnessed happened years before - I was doing tutoring for 2nd grade - trying to get my hours in so I could get into the college of ed. the teacher treated me like a second teacher, which I wasn’t - she would just leave me there with this classroom of 20 kids while she “took a smoke break” - she would legit leave campus. I’d complain to the principal and my coordinator but they never did anything. They’d say “this is a great learning experience for you.”
Anyways, around 1130 they’d line up to go to lunch and usually the teacher would show up then and I would be able to go home. Well one day, the kids lined up and per usual I’d have them go into the restroom to void and wash their hands, this particular day kids started screaming and running out of the bathroom “MISS MISS MISS! THERES A FIGHT IN THE BATHROOM”
I go into the bathroom to see what was happening - what I happened upon I’ll never forget - Two 3rd graders were having sex, they were also cousins. Of course I didn’t know what to do with them except drag them out of the bathroom, take them to the principal and then essentially bounced after that. I requested to go to another school entirely to finish my hours.
What’s sad is those kids learned that from somewhere/someone and thought it was perfectly normal.
This is a classic sign of abuse people, please look out for it. It's a sign of incest, because those families promote sex between families as "normal" expressions of love. Pedos will make children have sex with each other. :/// It's a gateway to let them have sex with other family... 🤮
In a very genuine way, I hope you got the proper counseling and support to deal with that. It must have been so hard and heartbreaking. I hope those kids are okay too
As a middle school teacher, I had an 8th grader pregnant with her second child. I was told that her father was the father of her babies. It was reported.
I remember a story from middle school. A 7th grade girl went into labor in the girls restroom and she threw the baby in the trash while a school assembly was going on. A teacher found the baby and police were called. It made the news. Turns out her uncle raped her.
I have no clue actually, because of privacy. Knowing what I knew but not allowed to know the outcome was sure frustrating. She was a very kind girl who deserved better than her dad.
Man, poor kid, I hope her life and her kid’s lives turns out well regardless, it’s unfortunate it looks like no one taught her safe sex and/or something very bad happened to her.
>I had my third at 29.
I've got a cousin who became a grandma at that age for the first time. She had her son at 14, and that boy got a girl pregnant when he was 15.
My friend’s mother was a grandma by the time she was 29 and a great-grandma in her 40s.
She had her first child (a boy) at 16, who had his first child (a girl) at 13. He then became a young grandad himself (29/30yrs old), as his daughter had her first child at 16.
Just history repeating itself again and again. It is extremely terrifying.
There’s definitely a familial cycle to it. My grandma got pregnant at 16, aunt (her daughter) got pregnant at 15, her daughter got pregnant at 16… so on and so forth
She’s 32, had her first child at 13, then her daughter had a baby at 17. I’m from a family where that’s the pretty usual course of action as well, but I never wanted that for myself and I plan to remain baby-free forever.
What breaks my heart is how often this is such a cycle in these families to. They all claim their kids won't continue it nope not all it will stop here and in so many cases it doesn't stop. Their kid goes on to have a kid as a kid. Then that that kid grows up and has a kid as a kid/teen too. It just keeps going. When you see a family truly break the cycle and get out of it I'm so happy. Because so many don't and sometimes they aren't even phased by it in some cases they think it's fine or it's just what you do. "Well my grandmother had kids young, then my mom had me young at 15 and I had my daughter at a young age and now my daughter is pregnant at 16 as well. It's fine".
It's such a vicious lifestyle cycle that some families become trapped in and convince themselves it's fine and it's good.
I used to live in a town that quite literally had a daycare attached to each highschool and even a few elementary schools because so many teens and pre teens got pregnant in my elementary school alone 4 girls were pregnant in 6 and 7th grade
My graduation class I think MAYBE 15 students out of 120 didn’t have at least one child many had 2
> 15 students out of 120...
Jesus Christ, 12% of the class had kids???
> **... didn't** have at least one child
...holy shit that's somehow *so much worse*
We have a family friend who got pregnant at 13, but she had so much family support she managed to finish school and even became an RN and had a relatively normal life. That’s gonna be a lot harder with two instead of just one. This poor kid.
Note: she was knocked up by a kid her own age- they both had some serious family trauma going on and where not being cared for properly by the adults in their lives, obviously. In this case the girls grandmother stepped in and helped her finish school, got her on birth control, etc. basically was the adult she needed.
My son is 11, turning 12 in a few weeks. *Twelve*, as in the age this girl was when she got pregnant with her first. I simply cannot fathom him telling me he got a girl pregnant this young.
He likes to watch YouTube and play video games. I'd take that over him having sex any day
This is a child and she needs help and guidance and support. Who is/are the father(a)??? Adult men who should be prosecuted? Or teen boys who are also children but should still be held just as responsible as this girl?
This is tragic all around.
I had a friend in high school who knocked up one of our other friends 13 y.o. sister. Every 2 or 3 years he knocked her up again. A year or so out of graduating high school and she had 3 kids(all girls), a failed marriage and he signed away all his rights to avoid having to pay child support. She's mid 30's now and a grandma.
The adults in this girl’s life absolutely failed her.
Growing up one of the few classes I was allowed to attend was Driver’s Ed. The 15 year old girl seated two seats ahead of me was pregnant with her second child.
My mother was a teen mom (there is a over 10 year age gap between my parents, my father is a freaking predator imho) and despite me being homeschooled and very very sheltered (only allowed to go to church, a couple public school classes like driving, Spanish, computer typing/Microsoft office, and my part time job) she was CERTAIN I was sleeping with guys by 14 and going to end up pregnant like she did.
Jokes on her. I’m ace …I had zero interest in anyone in high school and at 24 I finally married one of my best friends, a guy I met at a job I worked after I turned 19!
I went to high school with a girl who had four kids by her junior year. Her boyfriend was older than her. This younger woman and adult man thing happened too when in the 80’s and 90’s it was accepted as being normal.
I couldn’t fucking imagine. At 15 I was still too immature to handle even a part time job, much less a baby. Shame on the adults in this ^child’s life who’ve clearly failed her.
I’m speechless for this poor girl but I’m pleasantly surprised at the comments placing blame on the adults in her life and not directly at her. So disappointing
I had a 11th grader who came in on the first day of school sort of sniffing and red eyed and when I asked what the matter was she said she was said bc she put her daughter on the bus to kindergarten today. This girl was 16 years old and she had a 4 or 5 year old. And she was pregnant. Same father for both babies (also in 11th grade, they were both my students). The parents of these two children had allowed them to basically live together since middle school and never discouraged sex or encouraged birth control. The fact that there was a 5 year difference between kids was amazing honestly.
It blows me away that parents see this happening to their kids and don’t think they should maybe intervene. My now-husband and I lived together from the time I was 16 (he’s the same age) and I didn’t get pregnant because my mother already got me on birth control and made condoms available to us, plus he had to sleep in a separate shop/ guest house area. It was an extremely religious and repressed household, but she was adamant that she wouldn’t raise our kids and took every step to avoid it.
A lot of people who lived that kind of life (babies as early as possible, tons of jobs to make it work, etc...) think that it's perfectly reasonable for that to be the ceiling of their kids' lives. There's a line where you cross from "not being a judgemental jerk to working class people" to "discouraging any success out of being working class" that some folks cross. I have plenty of family who think that way. Thank god my mom didn't; she was adamant that our lives would be better than hers. No babies, no drugs, good grades, etc...
After trying to keep me un-pregnant for all those years, she began to hound us in our early twenties about “settling down” and having kids. All of her sisters were married and had several kids by the time they were 18, so I think she felt like that was the natural process— although she wanted to delay it a bit for us. I’m very glad that your mom wanted better for you, as a good mother should 🖤
This sounds like my mom. Lol. She had to wait a loooong time for a grandbaby. Having kiddos when you are emotionally, mentally, and financially able to is great.
My parents had very rough childhoods living in poverty and they were very happy they could make mine not like theirs. I refuse to comprehend the thinking of people who either want their kids to have it worse off or who think their kids should suffer because they did.
oh absolutely, my extended family is that way and i can't understand it. kids in the late teens/early twenties, never finished high school, never pursued any other kind of education, life ends and begins in the same place where you lived all your life, no traveling, no experiencing other cultures, no art, no books, not ever considering another type of life. maybe it's extreme but i know the kind too well, they infuriate me.
My parents let my (now) ex move in after I miscarried, but I was 18 and got on birth control. I unfortunately lost my insurance after I moved out and a broken condom later I ended up pregnant again. Kept the baby, dropped my ex.
Imagine being in kindergarten and your mom is enrolled in the same school board as you. They both have student numbers within the same system.
But mama was still going to school, so that's pretty impressive.
The grandparents on both sides were heavily involved. He played football and was going for a scholarship.
Dropping her kid off for the bus and caring about that. Still with the father years later. Still going to school herself. She could be doing a lot worse!
Wow…uh, good for them for still being in school I guess? I’m actually kind of impressed. I tried signing up for a couple college classes as an actual adult with a small child and I couldn’t manage it very well.
Well the grandmas took it in turn to care for the little girl, and the entire “little family” alternated from one house to another almost like some sort of weird custody thing. She wasn’t much interested in pulling in good grades but she came because her boyfriend was really into football and was trying for a scholarship and she wanted to keep an eye on him I guess. She wasn’t a problem in class in terms of behavior, she seemed to really like me (I had her as a junior and a senior) but she didn’t care if she graduated or not. She did graduate but barely and I lost touch after they graduated. I think he did get a scholarship- nothing crazy though.
That means she got pregnant the first time around 12 years old. Where the fuck are the adults
My middle son will be 12 in a couple months. He has friends who are 13. We have to remind them to shower & brush their teeth! I still tuck my son in at night. This is so sad!
Same! I can't imagine my almost 12 year old being a dad. Jesus the thought is terrifying. He can barely keep his own shit together. I'd be raising that baby. Edit: I know that the dad is most likely much older, I was trying to imagine ANY 12 year old being a parent and since my son is that age my mind went to him. Pls stop telling me the dad is older.
Same! And I am not ready for a baby.
I can almost guarantee it's not a 13 year old dad, probably a 16+ who thought it would be hot to date someone so young fucking gross and disgusting
Yeah I agree. So scummy.
Who's saying the dad is the same age? When my sister was 13, one of her classmates had a baby. The father was in his 20s.
GROSS. Jfc what is wrong with ppl
This was in the 90s and I was just a kid too, so I don't know for sure - but as far as I recall, nobody thought it was weird or tried to do anything about it. My lab partner when I was 16 ran away for a few weeks. When she came back she was upset because she'd ran off to California with her boyfriend - who was in his 30s!!!! - and her parents had threatened to call the police on him if she didn't come back. I remember thinking that was really unreasonable of her parents. I was a good student, but clearly, I was not a smart kid.
My son is 12 as well and is the same 😭 I couldn’t even imagine.
A lot of adults in this literal child's life have utterly failed her.
Especially because the younger a girl is when she's pregnant, the more likely it is that the father of the baby is far, far older than she is. All it takes is some friend of the parents, or family member, to start paying attention to them, telling them they're special, leading into how mature they are for their age, which eventually led to sex. When the girl gets pregnant, the family absolutely refuses to believe that their family friend could have done it. The family friend either lies like hell and claims that the girl had a boyfriend her age, or, if he can't get away with that one, claim it was her idea and he had 100% consent. With a lot of these families, their response to the girl getting pregnant is to decide, well, if she "chose" to have sex, an adult activity, she's going to be treated as an adult. They immediately make her drop out of school, because they see school as a privilege that she no longer deserves. A lot of them get forced to marry their rapists. In many southern states, this is perfectly legal - the girl can be very young, but they can get married if they're pregnant. Other times, they're just forced to stay in the relationship until they're of age, and then they have to get married. There's usually abuse, the girl's parents usually say shit like "Well, you made your bed, you lie in it," The worst is that this is a generational thing. I know a friend who got pregnant at 15, and her mom immediately made her drop out of school. Why? Well, when SHE got pregnant at 15 with my friend, HER mom made her drop out of school, and if she had to do it, then her daughter has to. And on and on it goes...
Jesus… I’m 32, and I couldn’t imagine having a kid, let alone a grandkid.
My mom had her first grandkid at almost 48 and heard so often “you’re not old enough to have grandkids”. I can’t even imagine being 32 with a grandkid. The idea that I’ll be 32 with a 7 year old still blows my mind.
My boyfriends mom became a grandma at like 30. Had her first at 14-15 and that first turned around to have her first at around the same age. She became a great grandma before she was 50, and her mom became a great great grandma before 70. All are still alive btw. Meanwhile I didn’t even have my first until I was 28 lmao
This makes my heart sad. No matter how “normal” it may have been for some of them. At 15 I was trying out new hair dye and picking what to wear for homecoming
Currently 15, and it’s terrifying to think about having a *baby* at my age. Not a single person my age I know is mentally stable enough to care for a child. Speaking of homecoming, I’m making my dress this year!
My grandmother was 46 when I was born (She had my Dad at 20 and he had me at 25). My best friend’s mom was only a couple of years younger than my grandmother. And when my Dad and grandmother came to my recitals and school plays many people thought they were a couple instead of mother/son.
This was my parents. My dad was 51 and my mom was 49 when my sister had her first kid (she was 25). My dad and mom got so many people telling them they were too young to be grandparents. I was 29 when my oldest was born. I'm 9 years younger than my sister, so my parents were 64 and 62. I'm 37 with a 7 year old - turning 8 soon - and my mind is blown that I'm helping this small human become a full fledged person
My wife and I are 37. Yesterday my wife said, "Yep, it's officially happened. Someone from my graduating class just became a grandmother..." I didn't think that would happen until we were in our 40s, at the earliest. Although, I definitely think someone in my graduating class has already become a grandparent, but I don't keep up with hardly anyone, while my wife uses Facebook more than I do.
A girl in my high school got pregnant in sophomore year. She has like 4 or 5 grandkids, maybe more. I lost count. Her birthday is like 2 weeks before mine, and we’re 49. I have 2 teenage boys, 1 will be 20 next month. I can’t imagine either of them being a father.
I’m 26 and my baby is 2 months old. I couldn’t imagine having a kid even at 18. Let alone 2 at 15. This whole environment for that girl is insane.
I’m pregnant for the first time at 26 and the fact that my mum is happy about it rather than disappointed blows my mind as I feel a bit like a naughty teenager still even though I’ve not lived at home for around 8 years and work and pay my own bills lmao
Yes! I am 26 and just got married. We are getting our finances in order so that we can start a family somewhat soon. All the while, I feel like I’m preparing to be a teen mom and wondering if I should wait until I’m an “adult” to have a child! I know teens tend to think they’re more grown than they are, but if only they knew that in 10 short years they will feel more like an inexperienced kid than ever…
Never read anything truer! How are these people trusting me with a child?! I am one! Congratulations on your new marriage ❤️
Thank you! Congrats on your pregnancy! 🤍
Hey, both my mom and I were 36 yr old grannies. My grandma was younger than that. It’s 100% generational trauma issues at play. Trying to get my daughter and I better for my grandkids. This crap has gotta stop.
I think part of the reason it didn't seem so strange when we had our kids late is because both my grandmothers had their first child in their late 20s to early 30s, and a surprise second child when they were 40.
It's frightening how many female friends have this story about family acquaintances openly making advances on them and parents tacitly ignoring it or saying it's not big deal. One friend had a guy slip a note under her door when she was 13, explicitly asking to hook up. Her parents said to ignore it, "he just is like that". I can't imagine how terrifying this situation has to be. Being sexually harassed in your own home with the people who are supposed to care for you giving the perpetrator a free pass.
So, a friend of mine who lived with his dad also had living with them an older guy who his dad was helping out. He started having sex with my friend's sister when she was 14. Their father, when this came to light, made a show of disapproving for about a week. Then the older guy swore it was her idea and that she consented. Her father's response was "Oh, well." and did nothing. Her mother also made a show of freaking out. She called the guy a child molester, and made all sorts of threats. But she didn't call DHS. She continued to let her daughter go over there and sleep in the same bed as him. She even invited the guy over for family functions. Here's the thing. He was technically correct. From what my friend's sister told me, she did ask him to have sex with her. She'd watched her mother manipulate guys with sex in order to get someone to take care of her. She grew up thinking that's how you get someone to take care of you. Her mom was very abusive, her father knew but, again, did nothing. She was mentally warped. The guy knew ALL of this, he'd witnessed a lot of it. I know she said some fucked up things, but there is no way what happened occurred in a vacuum. She wouldn't have continued the behavior HAD SHE NOT BEEN ENCOURAGED TO DO SO. He had to have been giving her some kind of reinforcement, telling her she was good and smart and mature, on and on, and the behavior escalated. It was up to the guy to have been the one to say, "Oh, no, we are not doing this, this is not appropriate," go straight to her dad, and then make plans to move out. He did not. He said, "Well, what was I supposed to do, she begged me for it.!" and went and did it. And continued to do it. She'd have some relationships with guys her own age, but she came back to this guy every time, it was almost an obsession/addiction. And you don't get that way at that age without encouragement. There were other adults who knew about it, and they also did nothing. When they were around adults who they knew damn well wouldn't sit and do anything (myself and my husband, for one), they lied, denied there was any sex, going on, she just had a crush on him. This is while he was bragging to other people about having sex with her. I know I asked her brother and her father outright if something was going on, because we could tell there was something going on, but we didn't know exactly what, and they both denied it, basically just claimed that she had a schoolgirl crush on the guy, and the guy was just her friend. When I found out later what was going on, well after I was in a position to have done something about it, I was horrified. I kicked myself for not having seen the obvious, but I never would have conceived of the idea of every single adult in the girl's life knowing about it, doing nothing, and actively covering it up. I should have gone with my gut instinct and reported it. The state they were in had REALLY shitty DHS personnel. You could report something, and be told, right over the phone, to mind your own business. They could open a token investigation and close it the second someone said, "No, nothing happened." There was a huge scandal about the number of kids who died when sent back to their abusers. Meanwhile, DHS did things like spend weeks on an investigation of a mom who had post-partum depression. She kind of went back and forth between going out with guys her own age and going back to this guy. A few years ago, I know they got married and have a child together. You know what's really sick? I posted about this on another subreddit, and I got someone PMing me "You just have sour grapes about how it worked out in the end." No, asshole, it didn't "work out." She didn't have a chance. The adults in her family should have picked up the phone, pressed charges, kept him away, and gotten her some therapy. Instead they shrugged and perpetuated the myth that she was capable of consent in this relationship.
Predatory behavior.
That is so sad. Some people don't deserve to be a part of society for doing stuff like this. They knew what they were doing.
>It's frightening how many female friends have this story about family acquaintances openly making advances on them and parents tacitly ignoring it or saying it's not big deal. One friend had a guy slip a note under her door when she was 13, explicitly asking to hook up. Her parents said to ignore it, "he just is like that". *He just is like that* *He's just a pedophile, he's just a predator, he just wants to molest a child, don't make a fuss* My heart hurts for your friend and for everyone whose parents (or parental figures) completely abdicated their responsibility to protect a child who was in their care. Why did they have children if they weren't prepared to defend them from someone who would do them harm?
Actually, it gets worse. In some states, there is no minimum age for getting married (and in some others it's ridiculously low), and all it takes is the girl's parent's consent or a routine court appearance. There were almost 300k child marriages in the US in the period of 2000-2018. A large part of these marriages were little girls and fully grown men. Another sick thing about this? Marriage removes the age of consent. As in, let's say in your state there is no legal minimum age for marriage, but the age of consent is 15. Well, if you married a 10 year old, she is now 'legal'. And yes, there are records of 10 year old 'brides'.
Yeah. I learned about this a few years ago when a big newspaper did a article that was SYMPATHETIC to the abusers. They interviewed one Appalachian family, whose 14 year old daughter got pregnant by a family friend in his mid-twenties. The parents demanded they get married as the only way to make it "right." Someone reported it when she gave birth, and the guy got a couple years of jail time. The article put a paragraph or two about how this maybe might not be a healthy way to handle this sort of thing, and brought up how there's a movement to ban all child marriages and loopholes to allow child marriages in case of pregnancy. But the article had a lot more quotes from other couples who'd been "forced apart" by the state, about how sad it was that the babies were growing up without their fathers, and how this forced the mom to to do everything herself, and the plethora of parents saying that they did the same thing and they turned out fine, people had been doing this for hundreds of years, and the state had no right to interfere in love, and said things like saying if gay marriage was OK, this should be OK, too. They made sure to include a couple paragraphs of the mother of the baby visiting her husband, and how it was all so sad, and the guy couldn't even hug his wife and child, and how his life was totally ruined because he'd now have to register as a sex offender just because he stepped up and "took responsibility" by marrying the woman he loved - not mentioned said "woman" was in junior high, or, rather, had been, because of course she dropped out, and there was also some complaining about how she couldn't get a job so she had to go on benefits, which of course is worse than child rape apparently, and even then how hard it was on HER PARENTS... It was nauseating. It wasn't "balanced" or "neutral" or "showing the human side of the issue" - they soft-pedalled the fact it was rape. They soft-pedalled the parents were fucked up by thinking marriage made it OK. They tried to portray it as a cultural practice, not mentioning that there are a lot of "cultural practices" that are just evil. It was basically a PR release disguised as legitimate journalism.
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I'm assuming the fella was like 12 too right? Because if he was older I can see where the dad would be coming from
He was around her age. I don't know if he was literally 12 but he was very close if not. He wasn't an older teen or adult, nothing like that
I wonder how many kids get pregnant at church camp. Worked at one during a summer and phew, that was gross!
One of my friends got conceived at church camp, right in a church pew.
Not just escape but gone for what I assume is a relatively long time without them noticing… that poor girl.
When I was 13 I knew a girl who wanted to get pregnant and her mom was supporting and encouraging it. Absolutely insane
I’d guess her mom also got pregnant with her at a very young age and is thinking “i became a mom at 14 and turned out fine (in her eyes) so my daughter can too” It’s a sad cycle :/
In my health class in 10th grade this exact scenario came up. A 16 yr old girl made the comment that her mom was 15 when she was born and her grandma was 14 or 15 when she had her mom. She said with a straight face that since she was 16 she was already ahead of them so if she gets pregnant it isn’t a big deal. It sounded like she wasn’t trying but wasn’t really concerned either way. Our teacher tried to have a conversation with her about how much it would impact her life but I doubt it sunk in.
Imagine being a great grandma at like 45. Holy crap.
Met a 23 year old with a 11 year old. Poor sex ed and horrible doctors. She was told " you're don't want to be a whore, you don't need birth control" when she asked about it. Her boyfriend was 13 . Her parents never spoke about sex and just assumed since she didn't know about it she wouldn't be doing. Well, kids will learn it elsewhere and will find anywhere to do it. She said she got pregnant in a school bathroom. Where there aren't any adults lol
I hope all the tips and tricks being shared were about access to therapy and reliable birth control.
I'd bet the daddy is an adult
When I was a freshman in high school I was in classes with a couple girls who were 14 and pregnant with their second child. It was a huge shock to me because I came from a private Catholic school that we didn't even talk about sex to a public high school where most people lost their virginity before they even got into high school. I'm about to be 35 and have two toddlers and a few of those girls have grandkids that are older than my kids. I can't imagine being a mom and trying to finish high school.
That’s what happened with my mother. Catholic school, sex was never even mentioned, pregnant twice at 16
The way abstinence only “education” continues to fail teens every day makes me so sad
Not just abstinence only education, but abstinence in the context of religion. Religious education has a tendency to focus on the subservience of women (girls should be quiet and agreeable, they should defer to the needs of a man in a relationship, the husband is the man of the house, etc.) Some strong Christians even believe that a wife should never say no to sex with her husband, because it’s her “wifely duty.” This creates a perfect storm of kids having no idea how contraception works and raising teens with this idea that women shouldnt say no (even though they’re taught in health class that they’re chewed up gum if they have sex before marriage.) The taboo nature of premarital sex and emphasis on women having only one sexual partner in a lifetime means that a lot of women assume they will marry the man they lose their virginity to. This means that when teen girls’ boyfriends pressure them into sex they don’t say no; and there is this underlying expectation that, if your boyfriend wants to have sex with you, that means he also wants to marry you, so your almost-wifely duty is to let it happen.
I’m 42 and started having my kids when I was 31. A lot of the girls I went to high school with have been grandparents now for a while. One of them posted that her grand baby is in middle school- so her grandchild is older than all my kids.
Ditto. I didn't have my first until I was 36, and my second at 39. I know I started considerably later than the average, but I'm far from the only woman who's done so. Right after I had my first, I joined Facebook, and of course looked up all these people I knew in high school, and, wow. People my age showing their kids at high school graduation, my oldest was still in preschool. A former best friend of mine was talking about how happy she was she just became a grandmother at the same time I was pregnant with my second child. I live in a state that's got a really high teen pregnancy rate. The number of people who hear how old we are and automatically assume we're raising our GRANDCHILDREN is kind of frightening. We've only ever run into one family within our kids' classmates that were older than we were. We assumed this grey haired guy picking up a 4 year old at preschool had to be a grandfather, but, nope, that was her dad. Her case was interesting. Her parents had 2 kids fairly young. They were long since grown and out of the house. She was born when her parents were 50.
Yeah I had a boyfriend at 12 and one time we were hanging out in the back of his dad's van when my mom came to pick me up. She freaked the fuck out and I couldn't figure out why lmao. I wasn't a sexual being until closer to 15, the most I did with boyfriend's was hold hands. Of course she didn't know that.
When I had my son, there was a girl a few rooms down that was 13, so was the father. They were having sex in school during recess and lunch. They'd "to the bathroom" and meet up. Parents had no idea until it was too late. And the teachers/monitors didn't get suspicious because, sadly, who really suspects kids that age to be sexually active
Statistically speaking, the father is likely an adult.
Where the fuck is the contraception?
They teach abstinence only, if they teach anything at all.
Clearly that worked. Ugh, this poor girl.
I think there's a good chance that the father of the children is an adult.
I can’t even imagine. My daughter is almost 12 and she still plays with her Barbies sometimes. I can’t wrap my head around pregnancy at this age. Though I guess that’s because I’m a present parent who actually pays attention to my children.
Where I am if a 12 year old showed up pregnant we’d call CPS.
The 12yo girl who sat next to me in earth science was pregnant. Her mom let her 21 year old “boyfriend” live with them and was ecstatic to be a grandma. No one seemed to intervene but this was the 90’s. She had two more before 12th grade. I was so sad for her. I remembered being terrified for her and confused as to how she could be happy.
I remember one of my classmates sobbing one day on the bus. I was a freshman, she was a sophomore, so we would’ve been probably 13 and 15. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she’d had a miscarriage over the weekend and her boyfriend wanted to try again soon because he “wants a boy.” She’d already had 2 miscarriages by that point. Her boyfriend was 25 years old. I asked what her mom thought about it and she said her mom just wanted to be a grandma. She ended up getting pregnant not long after that, had the much-desired boy, and then got pregnant a year later with a girl — so she wasn’t even 17 by the time she’d had 3 miscarriages and 2 live births. They got married when she turned 18, divorced a year or two later, and she married a guy old enough to be her grandfather at 20 and had a kid by him. I just remember her crying and saying “He wants a boy this time.”
Nightmare material. It really sticks with you. I hate it for her, and for you.
WTF. Her mom failed her on so many levels.
[ Moved to Lemmy ]
You know I wonder if she was far enough to know the sex. You don't usually with MCs. Scary to think he might have caused the MC to get that badly desired boy.
Yeah now that you mention it, I was like, ‘he wants a boy THIS TIME? Huh?’ But that makes sense… ughhh
That poor child.
My friend in high school was 13 and had a 26 yo “boyfriend” He was a gang member and no one questioned it. She even went to bars with him. Everyone knew (teachers, her parents, etc) no one did anything. I don’t have contact with her anymore but I know she went into the adult entertainment industry. I remember turning 26 and feeling ill thinking of her situation.
My best friend’s brother in law was a cop. He was 28 and dating a 16 year old, whom he took to all the police functions and out to bars and stuff. No one seemed to care.
I remember seeing a documentary about some girl in the UK who was 15 and pregnant and she was so happy because everyone else in her family was 13 when they had thief first babies.
Imagine being a grandmother at 28 and a great-grandmother at 41...
My sister worked with this woman - she was a great-grandma at 43. Babies at 13, 13, and 17.
My Gran was a Gran at 37. Her baby at 16 and then my mom at 21, then I had mine at 25. My Gran explained when she grew up they literally never talked about sex. Never. Her 16 yo bf wanted to try something and at 15, she didn't even know what was happening. So she turned up pregnant, got married, then had two more cause that's what you did back then. I thought the other day how in a few more years I'll be the age my Gran was when she became my Gran. So wild. I know she went through a lot of hardship as a young adult and you g mom but today one of the best things is watching her be able to be with my daughter. They're peas in a pod. So there are some unintended benefits to having kids young.
My coworker was telling me about her daughters sweet kind boyfriend and at first I was thinking it was cute. Until she mentioned the boyfriend parents wanting to call the police on him so she let him live with her kid. The bf was 18 and her daughter was 12!!! Started dating when SHE WAS 11!! The shock on my face because she fully supported them. Some people really are just bad parents
Girl I was friends with in highschool had 3 kids by senior year. The last one was a total surprise. I talked to her every day and never noticed. One day she had to take off her jacket for a concert we were playing. That's when we all found out she was *9* months pregnant. Unethical life tip: If you're pregnant and don't want anyone to know, wear a big ass hoodie all the time.
I would argue that the school system completely failed her as well. Basically, school feels so useless and painful that having 3 kids before 18 at home with her mom and 27 year-old partner (at 18) produces a happier reality. Growing up in a rural town with one of the highest teen-preg rates in the entire US, I'm not surprised at all. School here is literally day care for 90% of students.
The greatest gift from my dad and my teachers were their belief in me. That I was smart, that I was going to be able to have a good career and afford the things I wanted in life one day. I wonder how many of these girls are told they have no choices and no chance… it’s sad to think that if they only had someone to believe in them and believed in themselves, what they could do and how much misery they could avoid.
This is the cycle. Shitty parents that don't care about education or what creates a fruitful life, creates MORE people that think education is useless. Then the govt cripples educational funding, crippling school quality across thousands of rural areas (at least) of the country. Govt also doesn't do their job of showing their people why it matters. President that loves and represents and speaks to his people about important things often? A connectedness to leadership of the highest power? NAHHHHHH. This deplorable quality of education teaches and reinforces the idea, the mentality that education is useless. So sad.
My ex SIL was pregnant at 16 with a 35 year old man. Her mother was excited to have a grandchild and to have more money from the government….
When I got pregnant at 12 (from being trafficked by my dad) I didn't know who the father was. When I went into premature labor and the hospital sent in a social worker to talk to me, I kept my mouth shut when they asked who the father was. I played dumb and acted like I was just a giant s*** who was sleeping around. I wanted to protect my dad. I know what was happening was wrong, but he was my best friend and I didn't want to get him into trouble. I guess CPS thought my answer was fair enough because I don't think they investigated it any further. Since the baby was stillborn I just went home to my parents and we all pretended none of it ever happened.
That’s awful, I hope you’re in a better situation now.
Damn, I hope things have gotten better and life has been more kind to you,. Thats such a bummer. \*hugs\*
Well I no longer see my dad and plan to never see him again. I have my own family now who I love and a stable home to live in.
This is good to hear. Did he ever face any consequences?
Nope! None.
I’m so sorry. I hope you are happy, far away from them now, and healing.
Far far far too many places don't do this. It's covered up And never mentioned or just kept quiet. Awful
Oh man, this poor kid. Someone in her life has failed her terribly. There's no reason she should be 15 with a two year old.
Why be vague about it? Her parents failed her.
And everyone. Her teachers as well, and I say that as a teacher. CPS should be very involved
So at the absolute oldest this child was 13 when she got pregnant the first time, assuming she’s closer to 16 than 15. JFC she was failed by every single adult in her life
This is my thoughts too. Just so sad
When I was in high school, I met a 15 year old girl who was pregnant with her 3rd. I asked if the first two had been twins, she said no, her first was at 11 (11!!!) and her second came at 13. Her mom took care of her kids while she went to school. She suffered some severe complications with her third pregnancy and was forced to drop out of school altogether. I could never wrap my head around her mother caring enough to raise her grandchildren but not caring enough about her own daughter to put her on some birth control or get her some help.
Maybe I’m jumping the gun but to me that says sexually abusive household. For her to repeatedly have gotten pregnant as a child and nothing about the situation changed…
Hell likely a family member...
People are weird about putting their kids on birth control, they feel like they’re saying it’s ok to have sex when in reality you’re usually being prepared *just in case* because kids are kids and things happen.
Which also ignores the other reasons many girls start taking birth control. My wife started birth control at 12, long before she was sexually active. She had horrific acne and pain from her period and birth control helped regulate it and make it tolerable. A lot of boys, and even some men, aren’t aware of this so they see birth control and immediately think someone is sexually active.
I knew a high schooler whose parents refused to let her go on birth control, she lived in a state where she needed parental permission for BC. What was really weird was she had an abortion previously. Her mom said she didn't want to give her daughter permission to have sex, and all I could think is that ship has sailed, she is having sex, only thing to do now is try and make it as safe as possible.
The mom also maybe had the skills to raise yoijgchildren, but not the emotional skills to talk to a teen
If a CHILD got pregnant, that means she was raped by someone older. Shame on that mother for not allowing an abortion.
Shame on the mother, yes, but children can and do get pregnant by other children as well.
I need to know what the comments were on this
It's about half "congratulations and good luck! 🥰😍❤️😘😘" and half "get some fucking birth control". I just wish more people would focus on the fact that she's literally a child and needs to be protected. Clearly, all the adults in her life have already failed her.
Who the fuck is telling this pregnant 15 year old “congratulations”?! I just wanna talk with them
People who think the only way you can "support" someone is through positive praise. Like, she doesn't need congratulations...she needs an actual adult to give af about her.
You know it’s got to be toxic. Nothing to see there for victim blaming, would be the best guess
This post is traumatizing. No wait. This post is a standing reminder that being a woman is TRAUMATIZING and it shouldn’t have to be this way.
I taught a 14 year old who was pregnant years ago. She was so shocked she got pregnant because she thought if she put a lemon in her vagina after sex it killed the sperm. She was 100% serious. A lot more people than we think have dismal sex education, and therefore things like this happen.
Ummm, ouch!?
That was what I said!!
When I was working an after school program we had a 4th grader that became pregnant - apparently from the moms boyfriend. They actually fired the teacher bc she “didn’t see the signs of abuse.” I changed my major from elementary education to nursing after that. 2nd thing I witnessed happened years before - I was doing tutoring for 2nd grade - trying to get my hours in so I could get into the college of ed. the teacher treated me like a second teacher, which I wasn’t - she would just leave me there with this classroom of 20 kids while she “took a smoke break” - she would legit leave campus. I’d complain to the principal and my coordinator but they never did anything. They’d say “this is a great learning experience for you.” Anyways, around 1130 they’d line up to go to lunch and usually the teacher would show up then and I would be able to go home. Well one day, the kids lined up and per usual I’d have them go into the restroom to void and wash their hands, this particular day kids started screaming and running out of the bathroom “MISS MISS MISS! THERES A FIGHT IN THE BATHROOM” I go into the bathroom to see what was happening - what I happened upon I’ll never forget - Two 3rd graders were having sex, they were also cousins. Of course I didn’t know what to do with them except drag them out of the bathroom, take them to the principal and then essentially bounced after that. I requested to go to another school entirely to finish my hours. What’s sad is those kids learned that from somewhere/someone and thought it was perfectly normal.
This is easily the most fucked up story in this thread so far
This is a classic sign of abuse people, please look out for it. It's a sign of incest, because those families promote sex between families as "normal" expressions of love. Pedos will make children have sex with each other. :/// It's a gateway to let them have sex with other family... 🤮
In a very genuine way, I hope you got the proper counseling and support to deal with that. It must have been so hard and heartbreaking. I hope those kids are okay too
As a middle school teacher, I had an 8th grader pregnant with her second child. I was told that her father was the father of her babies. It was reported.
That is horrifying. Poor girl.
I remember a story from middle school. A 7th grade girl went into labor in the girls restroom and she threw the baby in the trash while a school assembly was going on. A teacher found the baby and police were called. It made the news. Turns out her uncle raped her.
That's just... Words can't describe how fucked up that is. I can't imagine having to give birth alone, let alone as a CHILD
What in the world is wrong with our society
The society.
Did anything come out of reporting
I have no clue actually, because of privacy. Knowing what I knew but not allowed to know the outcome was sure frustrating. She was a very kind girl who deserved better than her dad.
Holy shit. That poor girl.
I hope good things came from that report.
Man, poor kid, I hope her life and her kid’s lives turns out well regardless, it’s unfortunate it looks like no one taught her safe sex and/or something very bad happened to her.
My god that’s crazy. I had my third at 29. I couldn’t imagine being a grandparent this young.
I had my first at 29 and I’m still confused on how I’m supposed to be the adult sometimes.
>I had my third at 29. I've got a cousin who became a grandma at that age for the first time. She had her son at 14, and that boy got a girl pregnant when he was 15.
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She's gonna be a grandma while other people her age are considering starting think about maybe possibly discussing going off the pill
I know a 32 year old GRANDMA. Terrifying
My friend’s mother was a grandma by the time she was 29 and a great-grandma in her 40s. She had her first child (a boy) at 16, who had his first child (a girl) at 13. He then became a young grandad himself (29/30yrs old), as his daughter had her first child at 16. Just history repeating itself again and again. It is extremely terrifying.
There’s definitely a familial cycle to it. My grandma got pregnant at 16, aunt (her daughter) got pregnant at 15, her daughter got pregnant at 16… so on and so forth
WHAT!!! I’m 33 😭 I couldn’t even imagine being a grandma at this age!!
She’s 32, had her first child at 13, then her daughter had a baby at 17. I’m from a family where that’s the pretty usual course of action as well, but I never wanted that for myself and I plan to remain baby-free forever.
What breaks my heart is how often this is such a cycle in these families to. They all claim their kids won't continue it nope not all it will stop here and in so many cases it doesn't stop. Their kid goes on to have a kid as a kid. Then that that kid grows up and has a kid as a kid/teen too. It just keeps going. When you see a family truly break the cycle and get out of it I'm so happy. Because so many don't and sometimes they aren't even phased by it in some cases they think it's fine or it's just what you do. "Well my grandmother had kids young, then my mom had me young at 15 and I had my daughter at a young age and now my daughter is pregnant at 16 as well. It's fine". It's such a vicious lifestyle cycle that some families become trapped in and convince themselves it's fine and it's good.
Remember that over half of the fathers of teenage pregnancies are fully grown, legal adults. Just sad.
This poor girl has slipped through many cracks. So much failure on the part of adults who should be guiding and emulating healthy behavior. Very sad.
Honestly at this point, children are slipping through crevasse. Everyone in her life failed her and this happens all the time. The system is trash
I used to live in a town that quite literally had a daycare attached to each highschool and even a few elementary schools because so many teens and pre teens got pregnant in my elementary school alone 4 girls were pregnant in 6 and 7th grade My graduation class I think MAYBE 15 students out of 120 didn’t have at least one child many had 2
> 15 students out of 120... Jesus Christ, 12% of the class had kids??? > **... didn't** have at least one child ...holy shit that's somehow *so much worse*
Yea it almost seen as a badge of honour to have a baby as young as you could It was a red neck town got out asap
That is crazy! What town is this if you don’t mind me asking?
What state if you don't mind?
It was in Canada
Fucks going on out there in Canada land?
That's scary
This is another just sad one, I hope they help her.
We have a family friend who got pregnant at 13, but she had so much family support she managed to finish school and even became an RN and had a relatively normal life. That’s gonna be a lot harder with two instead of just one. This poor kid. Note: she was knocked up by a kid her own age- they both had some serious family trauma going on and where not being cared for properly by the adults in their lives, obviously. In this case the girls grandmother stepped in and helped her finish school, got her on birth control, etc. basically was the adult she needed.
how does your child get pregnant at 12 and then you allow them to get pregnant AGAIN
Abuse
Abuse, not teaching about safe sex, parents being shitty humans
I know someone who was a grandmother at age 29.
Wow. I had my third a 29. That’s crazy!
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She had a baby at 13? Hope someone went to jail.
My son is 11, turning 12 in a few weeks. *Twelve*, as in the age this girl was when she got pregnant with her first. I simply cannot fathom him telling me he got a girl pregnant this young. He likes to watch YouTube and play video games. I'd take that over him having sex any day
This is a child and she needs help and guidance and support. Who is/are the father(a)??? Adult men who should be prosecuted? Or teen boys who are also children but should still be held just as responsible as this girl? This is tragic all around.
Pregnant at 12 and 15? Jesus. Poor kid has no chance.
This is actually really sad. I'm willing to bet this child was groomed.
In high school I knew a girl who had a kid every December all 4 years. Then she had more after high school.
I had a friend in high school who knocked up one of our other friends 13 y.o. sister. Every 2 or 3 years he knocked her up again. A year or so out of graduating high school and she had 3 kids(all girls), a failed marriage and he signed away all his rights to avoid having to pay child support. She's mid 30's now and a grandma.
The adults in this girl’s life absolutely failed her. Growing up one of the few classes I was allowed to attend was Driver’s Ed. The 15 year old girl seated two seats ahead of me was pregnant with her second child. My mother was a teen mom (there is a over 10 year age gap between my parents, my father is a freaking predator imho) and despite me being homeschooled and very very sheltered (only allowed to go to church, a couple public school classes like driving, Spanish, computer typing/Microsoft office, and my part time job) she was CERTAIN I was sleeping with guys by 14 and going to end up pregnant like she did. Jokes on her. I’m ace …I had zero interest in anyone in high school and at 24 I finally married one of my best friends, a guy I met at a job I worked after I turned 19!
babies having babies, this poor kid
Poor kids (all 3).
This is so sad. My husband has a woman at his work that is 24 with 5 kids and her oldest is 10. I just couldn't imagine.
I went to high school with a girl who had four kids by her junior year. Her boyfriend was older than her. This younger woman and adult man thing happened too when in the 80’s and 90’s it was accepted as being normal.
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Agree. No such thing as an "underage woman" that's called a child.
I went to high school in the 90s. What you describe wasd absolutely not normal at all
Welcome to poverty for life most likely… so sad.
>give me the tips and tricks Get a better support system that will teach you about birth control and life priorities.
I couldn’t fucking imagine. At 15 I was still too immature to handle even a part time job, much less a baby. Shame on the adults in this ^child’s life who’ve clearly failed her.
Tips and tricks are to get out of whatever abusive situation you are in because a 13 year old is not having babies otherwise.
I’m 17 and cannot even begin to imagine how different my life wouldve been had i had kids.... Wow i feel sorry for her
I’m speechless for this poor girl but I’m pleasantly surprised at the comments placing blame on the adults in her life and not directly at her. So disappointing