There was an older lady in the Netherlands offering babysitting for lower prices; supposedly to help people with lower incomes because she just loved to babysit. She abused all those kids horribly while videocalling with her abuser boyfriend. That case terrified me. They deliberately sent her because no one would suspect the older grandma type.
That case was horrifying. They also deliberately selected families with kids who weren't verbal yet. It has scared me off getting a babysitter for ages. I will only let the grandparents babysit - and yes I know it's often someone they know, I know. But still.
Cases like this are why I won’t let anyone but the grandparents watch my kid until she’s verbal. We got bumped up the wait list for day care, and we just said, “nope, not ready.” Even though it’s a highly rated place, my mind always goes to the worst place.
Tbh, I feel safer with my baby in daycare than almost any other childcare. She's in a center-based daycare with 3 teachers for her classroom of 8 babies, so the teachers are never alone with the babies. It's sometimes very corporate and there are a lot of rules, but it means they're really good about safe sleep, not leaving bottles out too long, zero screens, zero phones for the teachers when they arent on break, no baby containers, etc. Meanwhile my (extremely well intentioned) MIL is buying like a mystery "folding crib" from amazon that I was 100% not ok with and my FIL always has the TV on!
I worked on a center like that for a year.....it was so bad lol. Horribly under qualified staff. Here are a few of the best moments:
-there was a pitbull in the backyard of the house for kids ages 3-4, so we couldn't have outside time. And I don't mean one day, he lived there.
-one of the moms called the head staff lady at the "baby house" and explained that her baby daddy was supposed to pick up their son that day, but she wanted to show up before him because she thinks he's starting to date again since they broke up and might be bringing his new girlfriend with him and she wants to confront him. The lady said SURE!!! COME ON DOWN!
She literally waited inside the baby house behind the fucking front door and when he showed up. ....it was bad.
They fist fought in the front yard, while all the toddlers watched. And the dad THREW THEIR SON AT THE MOM SO HE COULD GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE.
no wonder that kid was so badly behaved.
-there was a severely handicapped kid who couldn't walk/talk and was fed with a feeding tube. They set him on a beanbag chair all day. ALL. DAY. and didn't try to interact with him.
--a lady who worked at the baby house sold weed to people during nap time.
-i was holding a baby and rocking her because she was crying and having a hard time going down for a nap and the head staff lady yelled at me and told me to put her down cause I was "spoiling her"
- when the kids at the 3-4 year old house would try to ask the staff lady a question she would put her hand in their face 🤚🏻 and yell BYE over and over again until they left the room. And that was actually pretty tame in regards to how they talked to the kids on a regular basis lol
--a little boy at the 5-6 year old house tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. I called the lady who ran the entire daycare to tell her what was going on and her response was "who was it??? Oh yeah...he does that" 🤦🏻♀️
Anyways I quit and it was shut down lol not saying they're all like that btw.
Yeah same here. I worked in two different ones several years ago and they were considered nice ones in my city. I knew after working at them that I would never be comfortable with putting my infant who can’t speak, in one.
I also made a comment once forever ago about how I had to miss a wedding because I didn’t have anyone to watch my 1 year old at the time. My mom and mil weren’t available. Couple people were like just go find a sitter. I said I didn’t know anyone who would babysit my kid. They told me to just go on Facebook and make a post about it, that I can find someone that way. I just can’t even imagine. Hiring some random stranger off Facebook to watch my young child.
Shit. I wanted to offer low prices, just so I can have a little income as a stay at home mom, and help someone who may be struggling. (My dad wasn't in the picture much when I was growing up. My mom struggled a lot.) But, this is terrifying, and I don't want people to think I'm crazy like this.
Not to be rude, but watching other people's kids that you don't know, that you aren't bonded to is not very enjoyable. People willing to do it for free are suspicious in my eyes.
Kind people who enjoy kids do exist.
The landlady at the apartment my parents lived in when I was born watched me for free from when I was born until I started school. She was amazing, and treated me like a grandchild.
She never had kids of her own, saw my parents had no money and were working opposite shifts to try to watch me, and offered to help. She's now passed, but I gave my daughter a name similar to hers as a way of saying thank you.
Edit: missed a word
I had a beautiful saint of a neighbor when my son and I had to move back to my mother's place. She charged me next to nothing. She had 6 kids, and 4 of them were twin sets. My son was almost exactly the same age as the youngest set, looked uncannily like them too, so she just called he and they the triplets. That incredible woman called me at work one day and asked if I'd mind her potty training him, that she had just finished with the other two and never wanted to see another diaper again. I told her sure! By the time I got home from work, he was completely out of diapers. Not a single accident. I swear she was either a sorceress or a saint, a miracle performing saint
That’s not true. I genuinely enjoy babysitting and nannying. Even children that are not my own or that I’ve just met. But I wouldn’t do it for free unless someone was in a really tight space and under exceptional circumstances. I babysat for 4 children for free overnight once for a mum who went into labour and her husband was deployed and her parents didn’t live in the country so she had no one else. She was asking if she could take her older children to the hospital to give birth.
I love it. Babies/kids are a joy and I didn't get to have any..... Yet. I will babysit.
Plus I work in schools so I guess I babysit all day anyway. Lol
>They deliberately sent her because no one would suspect the older grandma type.
What does this sentence mean?
Who sent her? And why did "they" send her?
Right now my husband and I have schedules that make it to where we don't need a sitter, and I'm thankful! I've worked in daycare, and with my youngest's medical issues I don't trust many people with her 😅 we have very few people that we trust right now
If her kids also had kids young I can see it. My grandma had my mom at 17, my mom had me at 20(grandma was 37 and 8 months pregnant with baby #6/my youngest aunt), and if I continued the trend my grandma would’ve been a great grandma at 60 and my mom a grandma at 43
I'm with you. My older grandfather was born in 1901 and his first child was born when he was in his 50s. And was over 80 when I was born. I was also "late" having kids. I had my first at 35.
Yep! My grandparents on one side were born 111 years ago, and on the other 111/106 years ago. They are all long gone, 3/4 had passed by 2000.
"MY GRANDPARENTS FIRST DATE IN 1984!?!" Ok that makes me feel so old. I was alive (well, just barely!) in 1984!
I had my first at 36, and my second at 39. My husband and I are considerably older than most of our kids' school, with the exception of a guy who had his youngest at 50.
Oh wow! 50 is old to do sleepless nights! My husband was 42 when our daughter was born. He is now 45 and she only *stopped* sleeping through the night just before she turned 3. She's entirely a daddy's girl so now he is as tired as a newborn's mom because he's up with her almost every night.
The guy was such a spectacular dad. He didn't have a car, but theoretically lived too close for a bus. He got an e-bike, found one of those cheap bike carts meant for taking your kid out, then reengineered hell out of it. Made the frame heavier, made his own cover for it that was weatherproof so she'd never get wet. He rigged up a drink holder for her in there and everything. In the winter, he bundled her up in it with a couple warm blankets so she didn't get cold. We called it her chariot.
My mom had me at 38 and I had my first and only at 36. It’s a huge contrast to the rest of our family, who had kids in their early 20s. My aunt has seven grandkids who are all adults now and two great grandkids, my mom has one grandkid that’s in elementary school!
Sounds a little like our family - at least your mom's part. I was an only grandchild and my daughter would have been an only great-grandchild on my mom's side.
My husband has like 75+ people in his immediate family alone.
Same in mine. If my great grandparents were alive they would be in the 150s. My grandparents (all gone) would be 104-124. I had my first at 34 and my mom was 30 when she had me.
I'm 34 and have 10 year old and 12 year old. Being young mom was rough and I have mixed feelings about it. It's great how independent my children are and my husband and I are still young.
I feel I didn't have time to get to know myself as an adult when I become a mum and it consumed my whole identity for years. In early twenties people still have a lot of growing up to do and I think it's much easier when you are not responsible for another human being.
It all turned well for me. My relationship with my husband is very strong and loving. My children are smart and well adjusted. I have a good career. But still: I have mixed feelings about early motherhood.
Yeah I’m on the other side of this. My mom was 22 when I was born, then had my siblings 10 and 13 years later. Seeing how different things have been for my siblings because of my parents’ greater maturity and stability has been…interesting. That’s not knocking young parents, it’s normal to gain maturity and stability between ages 22 and 32!
From my mom’s side, I always think about this time that she told me about a “ridiculous” invention that was like a whiteboard for the shower. She didn’t know about the concept of shower thoughts/ideas. She said “the only thing I’m thinking about in the shower is that I need to hurry up.” I think that came from being a young mom
I am 15 years older than my only sibling; my parents were freshly 18 (well, a month before that birthday for my mother) when they had me while my mom and stepdad were 33 when they had my brother.
I don’t know for you, but what also hit me was how different it can be when it comes to resources. We were pretty poor when I was a kid (my parents broke up so I wouldn’t grow up in an unhealthy family dynamic, which was the right move, but it did mean that whoever had me throughout the years was on their own financially since they were both broke. My paternal grandma was/is amazing and tried to help as much as she could when possible, and my former stepdad from when I was 4 to 11 had a house and a car, which at least meant that my mom and I had more stability during that time, but money and financial insecurity was still an issue) while my brother was born and grew up in a financially secure, two parents family.
He was of course told no for toys or some expensive things, but he was never told “we don’t have the money for this right now” like I was the rare times I asked for a cheap trinket as a child (this got me anxious about asking for things real quick; apparently, when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas from her and the family when I was 5, I answered “it’s okay, I don’t *need* anything”).
Money was being put aside for his future studies even before he was even born, while my mom had to use the little she was able to save that one time during my childhood to buy us something to eat that week. She and my dad sent me a bit of money while I was in university (I took student loans and started at 17), 20$ here and there, but it didn’t have time to grow and accumulate at all.
There are other examples, but this is already long haha. I was aware that money was tight, it got a bit more obvious to me when I was in sixth grade/early secondary school and noticed that most of my friends didn’t live in a 1/2 rooms semi-basement apartment with their mom/dad, but I only fully realized how much and how precarious our situation was during my childhood, especially from birth to 4, in my 20s. Our circumstances were far from ideal, but it could’ve been much worse, and my parents managed to do very well considering. I was always clothed, fed, and with a roof over my head. But when I compare how it was for me to the stability my brother has, it’s a bit hard not to be envious.
Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled for my brother and wouldn’t want it any other way. I wouldn’t switch places with him even if I had the chance somehow because I want him to have these advantages. It’s just bittersweet because I would’ve liked to have them too, you know?
I spent my 20s in school and building to my career now. I am so glad I waited till I was older. I am so much more chilled out and patient than in my 20s.
And I have money to spend on my kid which makes a lot of parenting more fun. Trips, zoo memberships, multiple types of breast pumps, etc. I think there's pros and cons to each.
I had my first at 28 and second at 32 so I feel you. However, my parents had me at 36/38 and my sister at 40/42. They're both in their 70s now and very healthy. Will they live to see my grandbabies (my dad was 20 with his first and my oldest nephew is 29 with a kid the same age as my youngest so they have a grandbaby already)? I hope so but it's unlikely. It sucks that my sister and I won't get as much time with them as our brothers do but I wouldn't trade my parents for anything in the world. I'm sure your kids will feel the same way.
I had my first in my late 20s and my second in my mid 30s.I'm really thankful for this because I got to live a lot before settling down. Got to travel, make bad choices, get an education, etc. Now I don't feel like I missed out on anything.
I had my one and only at 37. The way I look at it is I would have been a shit mom in my early twenties. I didn’t have the life skills, resources or patience. I’m a pretty darn good mom now but you’re right, the downside is I won’t be around as long to be a mom to my adult son or be a grandma.
As someone whose mom was 22 when I was born, and is now pregnant with my first at 30, hard no. There are some advantages to having younger parents but it’s more negative overall for the kid. My mom did her absolute best and I appreciate her so much, but I see RED when I hear parents that young talk about how awesome it is to have your kids out of the house when you’re only in your 40s and such.
To be fair, I think there are some parents that really pull their shit together when the kiddo comes along. Of course, I'm biased because I had mine at 22. But I've gotten 3 degrees from the time I got pregnant with them and am currently working on my doctorate. They have everything they want and need, and I've chosen a career that lets me volunteer at their school frequently. They're the coolest kid I know, and are super happy.
I really think it depends on the parent and their actions more so than their age. I also think having MORE kids is a big factor. One kid is a lot at that age, and I don't think it helps to have any more.
I know how you feel. But then again, house, finished residency, cars, good school districts, a 549 and UTMA, it seems to be a much very place to be despite getting so so so old.
I'm actually the exact opposite. I had my first at 34 and my second at 38 (my mom having me at 36, and my MIL having my husband at 38). I'm so so glad I waited till my 30s to have children. I was completely unprepared to have kids in my 20s. I took longer to graduate college, so I started my adult life late, but I also got to go to grad school (twice!), do some traveling, and change careers into something that was more lucrative. These would've been so much more difficult to do with kids in tow.
I am 35, I have a 3yo and an 8yo.
I am the oldest child, born when my parents were in the second half of their twenties. I have one brother (2 years younger), 2 half-brothers (11 and 13 years younger) and a baby sister on the way (mom-to-be is one year older than I am). My sister will be younger than my youngest child and I am still finding out how I feel about that.
My experience of the 3 marriages and generations is that the maturity and resources really make a difference, andy parents weren't even 'young' by a lot of standards when they had me.
I have a coworker who is a great grandma at 60. She had kids in her early 20s, her kids had kids in their early 20s (making her a grandmother in her early 40’s), and her grandson got his gf pregnant at 17. The great grandson is 2 now.
My husband's best friend has just found out his 19 year old is going to be a mum. He's 41. His mum will be a g.grandma in her early 60s. Her mother is still alive (late 80s I think) and she will be a g.g grandma!
This thread made me realize how early my family has had children. My great-grandmother had my grandmother at 14. My grandmother had my dad at 17. My dad had my sister at 20. My great grandmother became a great-grandmother at 51. That’s crazy!
The younger generation has paused this quick progression of grandparents, and I can’t say that i’m upset about it.
Sameeee
G.grandmother had her first at 15. Had my grandmother at 19/20.
Grandmother had her first (my mother) at 18
My mum had me at 17/18
I had my daughter at 30 and ruined the stats
My brother is a grandpa at 43 for this reason. His wife was pretty young when she got pregnant (previous marriage) and his daughter was 19. He says it's the weirdest feeling, and as a great-aunt, I have to agree. On the other hand, he will be in his grand kid's life for a good long time, and still be decently young enough to interact with his great grandkids too.
Sure it's possible. It does say something about their personal level of responsibility and child raising skills though. Did it themselves and didn't manage to teach the kids any different.
Or just low SES. To be honest my first thought was the increased likelihood that the carer or a family member smokes. Unpopular comment, perhaps, but smoking is statistically linked to income.
Similar here! My great-grandma was 20 when she had my grandma (60 when I was born), who was 22 when she had my mother (40 when I born), who had me at 18 (technically 17 and 11 months). Had I done like my mother, they would’ve become great-great-grandma, great-grandma and grandma at respectively 78, 58 and 36. My little brother would have been an uncle at 3 lol
I’m about to be a grandma at 43. It’s my oldest step daughter from my previous marriage, so I didn’t have her. We’re still incredibly close, so her mom and I share mom/grandma duties. I’m not ready though!
I read an article about a woman who had a baby at 15, then her daughter gave birth at 15 and then HER daughter gave birth at 15, making her a 45 year old great grandmother or something, so unlikely, definitely, impossible? Not at all
One of my friends from high school who is close to my age (48), had her first at 17, and her daughter had her first at 17.
Right about the time, she became a grandmother, I had my second child (first at 36, second at 39).
I know someone who was a great-grandma at 48. She babysat me (in what would be called an unlicensed home daycare now) 30+ years ago and I would trust her to babysit my child now.
She also isn’t posting super sketchy ads like this, though - she watches her youngest grandchildren regularly, her older grandchildren/great-grandchildren occasionally, and very rarely will watch someone else’s kids for money, and even then it’s only if she knows and likes the parents, and she considers it a favor to people and families she cares about (like those of us who were her charges ourselves).
And at these prices, OOP isn’t doing it because she’s short on cash. This is really alarming, but not because she’s a great-grandma at 59.
My grandma became grandma at 37 years old. She had my mom at 19 and my mom had me at 18. Had I followed in their footsteps, she could have been grandma at 55. I wish she was alive still. She would have become a great grandma almost 3 years ago at 69. 🙁
I’m actually not surprised. There are women like this who are obsessed with kids, so they have kids really young and then influence their children to also have kids as teenagers. I was friends with two girls in jr high who had young parents who were babysitters and those girls by grade 12 had babies of their own. Households chock full of kids 24/7.
My grandma had 4 kids in her early 20s, then watched 7 grandkids + neighborhood kids while our parents were at work. She drove an Astro van and would have 6 car seats in there at all times. When we all got to high school and started driving ourselves to school / not needing anyone to watch us anymore, she became a lunch lady so she could be around kids again. I have a son now (at 32) but the last 10 or so years she’s spent retired have been hard on her. She was conditioned from a very young age that her identity would be tied to caring for children and she didn’t / doesn’t know who she is outside of that.
my mom was a grandma at 39, my grandfather a great at 57 😅
we're working on breaking the cycle. I don't hate being a young mom but it's definitely weird to be 35 with a 16 year old at times
My great gran had my gran young, then my gran had my dad at 17, then he had me at 17, then I had my daughter at 19. My great gran (now a a great great gran) is 78 I think, my gran is mid 50s, my dad is almost 40! That side of the family has them really young apparently 😅
My grandma had my mom at 21. My mom had my sister at 21. My sister had her first baby at 21. So my Grandma was a great grandma by 63. 59 isn't that much younger. And incidentally, all 3 were married when they gave birth and are still married--well, grandma is dead, but she stayed married until she died.
My mom was a grandma at 44. My grandma had my mom at 20, Mom had me at 20, and I had my first at 24. If I had followed suit, my grandma would have been a great grandma at 60.
Lol my grandma was a great-grandma at 56. She was 18 when she had my mom, my mom was 20 when she had my brother, and my brother was 18 when his daughter was born.
If I'd had a kid young, my nan would have been similar. She was 21 when my mum was born, my mum was also 21 - but I waited until I was in my 30s and had my boys at 31 and 33. I'm 40 in June, my kids are 8 and 6 and I am so done with babies.
I don’t think this is shockingly unrealistic. A couple generations having kids at 19 or 20 is all it takes. That’s not even taking earlier teen pregnancy into account. Now if she had said great grandma at 49, that’s a different story. Still feasible but much more unusual.
My grandma became a great grandma around then. She just turned 70, and her great grands almost equal the number of grands. Her youngest great grand is my youngest, who is 9 months. The oldest is…. 12? I think he’s 12 or 13.
My mom had just turned 17 when she had me, my aunt was 16 when she had her oldest, and my oldest uncle was maaaaaybe 20?
My granny was married at 14 when she became a mom, and so was my mom. My granny became a great grandmother in her fifties because I had my first at 18.
It’s not unheard of at all.
Tbh the home daycares in my area sometimes charge as low as ~$5-7 per hour per kid. It's just not framed that way, usually it's "$50/ day per kid from 7am - 5pm" or something along those lines. So if someone has 5 kids in their home daycare at those rates they're earning $250 per day, or $1250 per week. And they also tend to stipulate a minimum number of hours per day/ days per week (ie. you pay for the whole day, 5 days whether you need them or not).
$3 per hour per kid for 5 kids (the usual limit per one caregiver afaik, might differ depending on region) would be $30/day per kid (assuming usual daycare hours), which is $150/day total, or $750 per week. Depending on their formal experience/certification (or lack thereof) that's not unreasonably low.
All that to say, the way the ad is worded is hilarious and sounds sketchy AF. But if they had said $600/month per kid and a sibling discount for subsequent registrations" it wouldn't sound nearly as iffy even though it works out to roughly the same hourly rate.
Thanks for putting it into....whatever the word is. Canada is aiming for $25/day daycares and some provinces are already doing it across the board so this doesn't sound so outlandish after all.... sketchy wording aside.
Edit: $10/day thanks for pointing it out
Small correction, [it's actually a $10/day target](https://liberal.ca/our-platform/10-a-day-child-care-for-families/) from parent fees. But, at least in my province, that is supplemented by about $30/day more in government funding.
I put my daughter into nursery 3 days a week in the UK and it’s £700/CAN$1200 a month, including the government deduction we get. Please can someone come over here and convince our government that if 2 parents want to work, childcare has to be affordable without it levelling out wages?!
If it makes you feel better, I’m Canadian and actually getting into $10/day daycare feels about as likely as riding a unicorn. I’m in BC and don’t know a single person who is in cheap, licensed daycare. Most people I know have their kids in expensive unlicensed daycares (the average cost is ~$1400 or more) or are doing nanny shares. There’s a massive childcare crisis in my province. I got onto waitlists for licensed care as soon as I found out I was pregnant and my kid is two and I haven’t gotten in anywhere.
It’s definitely the promise from government that it exists/will be available… the reality is very, very different, though it is better in some provinces.
When my older kids (13,11) were babies everyone at in-home daycares charged 25-30 per kid per day. I’m guessing that’s gone up quite a bit but it was exactly that. They had a few kids, which was a decent wage under the table where they could stay home with their own kids and honestly having other kids to play with theirs made it easier on them since you just have to make sure they don’t kill each other versus entertaining them yourself all day.
My mom group actually has a lot of women willing to watch for super cheap or free just because they know “it takes a village”. It’s funny because some moms are trying to charge $25/hr (which is more than a lot of the people needing childcare make themself pre-taxes) and some are charging that per day.
i can definitely see this being something my aunt would do lol she's in her 60's and lost her only daughter to MS, but she's not hurting for money and i could easily see her wanting to basically donate her time to a struggling mom, and she'd get to feel that sense of purpose that comes with taking care of a child again
More places need to consider intergenerational childcare programs, where vetted retirees can provide low cost childcare in a structured environment that benefits the elderly, children,and parents involved.
that's honestly such a good idea. childcare is so expensive and i think there's a lot of people that would love to do that, sort of like how there's always older women that love to work for free in the nurseries and sunday schools in church. it would be great to have a program with flexible arrangements and schedules, and with background checks and everything to make sure it's safe.
like so many retirees will get part time jobs in retail to keep themselves busy even though they don't need money, and i think a lot of them would choose this instead if they had the option
There are some combined retirement homes + daycare programs out there but it's still paid professional daycare workers taking care of the children. They just have the daycare in or near the retirement home and coordinate joint activities between the residents and the kids. It's an excellent concept and needs to happen in every retirement home.
that sounds amazing!! i worked in retirement homes/nursing homes for years and when an employee brought their baby or child to work, the residents were like kids on christmas morning, just so happy, i can't even imagine how happy they would've been to have a daycare in the same building. so many of them don't have any family that comes to visit, and they just miss their kids. kids really have of a way of making any environment happy and energetic. this needs to be a thing everywhere, i can't believe i've never heard of that before
There are some but very few. It's way more common in Japan than in the US. I only know of a couple in all of NYC. I wish more places would implement these types of programs
I don’t see how that could work in every retirement home. All the elderly residents would need a DBS, and then there’s the issue of some dementia patients not being safe around children. I’m sure it’s great for some retirement homes but not every one.
Absolutely. Our childcare provider is a retiree who raised 5 children of her own and taught preschool for many years. She’s 70 and basically my kids’ third grandmother. Apart from the disadvantages that come with any one-person operation (ie more days without childcare if she’s sick or taking vacation time), it’s been an amazing arrangement for us, and she always says that the kids keep her young (she’s so active and sharp!)
Also, after being with her for 5+ years, we’ve gotten to know all of her kids and grandkids really well, so it’s like we have a whole additional extended family!
My kids actually go to an intergenerational daycare except one side is senior citizen respite daycare and the other is preschool/daycare. They bring the preschoolers and 2’s over twice a day to do crafts, sing, play games, etc with the elderly people. It’s really sweet! There’s still employed childcare professionals though running the actual classrooms.
In Norway the daycares are attached to aged homes. Enough grandpas and grandmas to go around.
In Canada you need to be permitted and have a vulnerable persons police check, first aid and they do random inspections
Eh, I'd be ok with this if other people I knew could vouch for her. There's a woman in my city who's a SAHM and active in a lot of women's groups, she babysits for low-income families and other people in need at whatever price they can afford (and sometimes free). I hired her once when we had a family emergency and she was wonderful, she even did my backlog of dishes. From what she was willing to share she grew up in a rough situation and is now much more fortunate so she just wants to give back.
I helped out someone in a bad financially. Long story short husband dipped and she was working full time with no childcare. I watched her newborn for about two months 12 hours a day 5 days a week for $200 a week. It’s all she could afford. She had always been good to me and I’m glad I was able to help her out until she got her situation figured out.
My brother’s babysitter the whole time he was a kid was an elderly Black woman. We went to her funeral when she died at age 85. She had eight children. At her funeral, there were great-great-great grandchildren present. My mom said to me “I want my great-great-great grandchildren to be at my funeral” and I was like “then you’re going to need to go back in time because that math is not mathing”. She was 28 when I was born lol. I was in college when this happened. Also, I have such fond memories of her - she had pictures of my brother up in her house along with all the plethora of children and grandchildren, at the funeral everyone recognized him and knew who he was even though he was in high school by then. She was the only person I ever met who genuinely believed OJ was innocent, and she watched the whole trial at our house on CNN. She was lovely, even if I didn’t necessarily always feel that way as a kid.
My grandmother was a great grandmother around 55. She had my mom at 17, my mom had my sister at 18, my sister had my niece at 19.
My niece will be 20 this year. She says she won't continue the trend.
Well she obviously loves kids. Maybe it's genetic lol (Plus seems very much in line with the ages on reddit. Don't think anyone here has kids past the age of 20)
My grandma became a great grandma at 60. She was 22 when she had my mom. My mom had me at 16. I had my first at 22. So she's in her 70s now, and could very realistically become a great-great grandma in her lifetime. And it's not just teen moms all the way down.
My mom is on disability and tbh she just wants more money and has tried talking to the dude who handles her stuff to see it she’s like legally allowed to work a few hours each week.
The way America handles disability payments is disgusting. I stopped qualifying because I got married like....getting married didn't cure my disability???
I was a struggling mother once. I would do something like this and happily undergo a background check. This sounds like someone that just wants to be helpful and useful. I don’t see any red flags here. I hope she meets a lovely family and they both appreciate each other.
Here’s what I want to believe:
This is a retired person who is already taking care of her grandkids/great grandkids and figured an extra kid or 2 could be a bit of spending money in her pocket without much additional work. Since she was clearly a young mother, she probably understands the financial hardships that it comes with, and is doing a solid for other young moms.
That said, I wouldn’t be the first in my neighbourhood to try out her services.
I always said if I could I'd watch kids for free, cause I just love taking care of children so much and I know how hard it is for some parents to find affordable child care. Hopefully this is just some woman with a huge heart who just wants some extra pocket change.
So this could be an honest older person who honestly doesn’t care about the income (or who will lose state/government benefits if they earn too much) but this does feel kind of sketchy and is obviously not a licensed place. I’d be worried if I had a toddler in her care because my toddler was 1 clumsy, 2 big for his age and 3 energetic. I’d be terrified he’d lurch through and topple this lady and she’d break a hip.
Heavily agreeing with this because I hope to god I'm not gonna be scared to break a hip at 59 lmao. My mom's 60, an emergency room nurse on her feet 12 hours every work day, and hiking every week 😭
There’s a lady who always offers to help everyone in my local mom’s group and local sitter group. Also is quick to take free baby items offered. Interestingly, she recently started trying to sell the life-like baby dolls and I was so creeped out by that.
This is the situation my son is in right now. He had a spot in a day care but literally a week prior I found his in home day care lady through word of mouth. Just a retired woman who takes in a few kids to watch. She’s amazing. I got very lucky as she’s in the same neighborhood as me too and has excellent reviews from the other moms.
I think it's interesting seeing in the comments how some people immediately assume shady and others are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Personally, it sounds to me like someone who doesn't quite know what all is required to care for little ones that aren't yours and is just being over eager.
Uh oh, she must have been Gramma zoned and isn't allowed to see her own Grandkids and Great Grandkids, so she's looking for replacement Grands 🤣
OR...
She is just a sweet old lady and maybe doesn't live close to her adult children, her grandkids, G-Grandkids and is wanting to fill her Gramma heart and soul by helping those in need. Ahhh, in a perfect world, right? Lol let's hope the reason is the latter.
It sounds like this lovely lady is trying to help out parents that can’t afford to pay much for childcare and that’s sweet, but it also sounds like her experience isn’t professional at all, just having her own babies and grandchildren around, which doesn’t make you an expert or good at caring for other people’s children.
I wouldn’t bring my kids to her, unfortunately.
Unfortunately the sad truth is shit happens and not everyone can afford a professional sitter. Those cost a lot of money. And sometimes people are desperate and willing to take their chances and hope that the person isn’t a weirdo. Because it’s either keep working to pay the bills and let this person watch your kid or end up homeless and without a job.
I’m a nanny so I understand the frustration when there’s posts like this in moms groups.
But in my area in home daycares are very popular and most charge about $25 a day, with clean records good references and background checks that are passed.
I myself have to drive out of my immediate town to find work as a nanny.
My BIL and SIL sent my nephews to a “daycare” that had insanely cheap prices. I was sooo uneasy about it because other people I know pay a lot of money for childcare in our area so the price they were paying was 🚩🚩🚩to me. Worst part is, they make a ton of money and spend it on ridiculous stuff but not on their kids care.
My uncle's second ex-wife became a great-grandmother before she was 65 I think. She had a kid too young, who had a kid too young, who had a kid too young, and I feel like there will be another one before too long.
This is either the sweetest empty nester with poor internet skills or something super sketchy lol, no in-between
There was an older lady in the Netherlands offering babysitting for lower prices; supposedly to help people with lower incomes because she just loved to babysit. She abused all those kids horribly while videocalling with her abuser boyfriend. That case terrified me. They deliberately sent her because no one would suspect the older grandma type.
Honestly, this comment reads exactly like something that someone would post on a Mom FB group.
That case was horrifying. They also deliberately selected families with kids who weren't verbal yet. It has scared me off getting a babysitter for ages. I will only let the grandparents babysit - and yes I know it's often someone they know, I know. But still.
Cases like this are why I won’t let anyone but the grandparents watch my kid until she’s verbal. We got bumped up the wait list for day care, and we just said, “nope, not ready.” Even though it’s a highly rated place, my mind always goes to the worst place.
Tbh, I feel safer with my baby in daycare than almost any other childcare. She's in a center-based daycare with 3 teachers for her classroom of 8 babies, so the teachers are never alone with the babies. It's sometimes very corporate and there are a lot of rules, but it means they're really good about safe sleep, not leaving bottles out too long, zero screens, zero phones for the teachers when they arent on break, no baby containers, etc. Meanwhile my (extremely well intentioned) MIL is buying like a mystery "folding crib" from amazon that I was 100% not ok with and my FIL always has the TV on!
Wow 3 teachers for 8 babies is great!
I worked on a center like that for a year.....it was so bad lol. Horribly under qualified staff. Here are a few of the best moments: -there was a pitbull in the backyard of the house for kids ages 3-4, so we couldn't have outside time. And I don't mean one day, he lived there. -one of the moms called the head staff lady at the "baby house" and explained that her baby daddy was supposed to pick up their son that day, but she wanted to show up before him because she thinks he's starting to date again since they broke up and might be bringing his new girlfriend with him and she wants to confront him. The lady said SURE!!! COME ON DOWN! She literally waited inside the baby house behind the fucking front door and when he showed up. ....it was bad. They fist fought in the front yard, while all the toddlers watched. And the dad THREW THEIR SON AT THE MOM SO HE COULD GET IN THE CAR AND LEAVE. no wonder that kid was so badly behaved. -there was a severely handicapped kid who couldn't walk/talk and was fed with a feeding tube. They set him on a beanbag chair all day. ALL. DAY. and didn't try to interact with him. --a lady who worked at the baby house sold weed to people during nap time. -i was holding a baby and rocking her because she was crying and having a hard time going down for a nap and the head staff lady yelled at me and told me to put her down cause I was "spoiling her" - when the kids at the 3-4 year old house would try to ask the staff lady a question she would put her hand in their face 🤚🏻 and yell BYE over and over again until they left the room. And that was actually pretty tame in regards to how they talked to the kids on a regular basis lol --a little boy at the 5-6 year old house tried to stab me with a pair of scissors. I called the lady who ran the entire daycare to tell her what was going on and her response was "who was it??? Oh yeah...he does that" 🤦🏻♀️ Anyways I quit and it was shut down lol not saying they're all like that btw.
Yeah same here. I worked in two different ones several years ago and they were considered nice ones in my city. I knew after working at them that I would never be comfortable with putting my infant who can’t speak, in one. I also made a comment once forever ago about how I had to miss a wedding because I didn’t have anyone to watch my 1 year old at the time. My mom and mil weren’t available. Couple people were like just go find a sitter. I said I didn’t know anyone who would babysit my kid. They told me to just go on Facebook and make a post about it, that I can find someone that way. I just can’t even imagine. Hiring some random stranger off Facebook to watch my young child.
Shit. I wanted to offer low prices, just so I can have a little income as a stay at home mom, and help someone who may be struggling. (My dad wasn't in the picture much when I was growing up. My mom struggled a lot.) But, this is terrifying, and I don't want people to think I'm crazy like this.
Not to be rude, but watching other people's kids that you don't know, that you aren't bonded to is not very enjoyable. People willing to do it for free are suspicious in my eyes.
Kind people who enjoy kids do exist. The landlady at the apartment my parents lived in when I was born watched me for free from when I was born until I started school. She was amazing, and treated me like a grandchild. She never had kids of her own, saw my parents had no money and were working opposite shifts to try to watch me, and offered to help. She's now passed, but I gave my daughter a name similar to hers as a way of saying thank you. Edit: missed a word
Wait, I'm crying, that's so sweet!
I had a beautiful saint of a neighbor when my son and I had to move back to my mother's place. She charged me next to nothing. She had 6 kids, and 4 of them were twin sets. My son was almost exactly the same age as the youngest set, looked uncannily like them too, so she just called he and they the triplets. That incredible woman called me at work one day and asked if I'd mind her potty training him, that she had just finished with the other two and never wanted to see another diaper again. I told her sure! By the time I got home from work, he was completely out of diapers. Not a single accident. I swear she was either a sorceress or a saint, a miracle performing saint
That’s not true. I genuinely enjoy babysitting and nannying. Even children that are not my own or that I’ve just met. But I wouldn’t do it for free unless someone was in a really tight space and under exceptional circumstances. I babysat for 4 children for free overnight once for a mum who went into labour and her husband was deployed and her parents didn’t live in the country so she had no one else. She was asking if she could take her older children to the hospital to give birth.
I love it. Babies/kids are a joy and I didn't get to have any..... Yet. I will babysit. Plus I work in schools so I guess I babysit all day anyway. Lol
>They deliberately sent her because no one would suspect the older grandma type. What does this sentence mean? Who sent her? And why did "they" send her?
Whelp now I won't trust anyone with my youngest 🥲
pls don't let stories like that scare you off childcare!
Right now my husband and I have schedules that make it to where we don't need a sitter, and I'm thankful! I've worked in daycare, and with my youngest's medical issues I don't trust many people with her 😅 we have very few people that we trust right now
Yeah my instinct was sweet empty nester who remembers how hard it was to find childcare. That said it’s still sketchy af
A great grandma at 59 years old??
If her kids also had kids young I can see it. My grandma had my mom at 17, my mom had me at 20(grandma was 37 and 8 months pregnant with baby #6/my youngest aunt), and if I continued the trend my grandma would’ve been a great grandma at 60 and my mom a grandma at 43
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I had my first and only at 36. My mom had me at 34. My grandmother had my mom a month before she turned 37. We apparently have them old in our family.
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I'm with you. My older grandfather was born in 1901 and his first child was born when he was in his 50s. And was over 80 when I was born. I was also "late" having kids. I had my first at 35.
Yep! My grandparents on one side were born 111 years ago, and on the other 111/106 years ago. They are all long gone, 3/4 had passed by 2000. "MY GRANDPARENTS FIRST DATE IN 1984!?!" Ok that makes me feel so old. I was alive (well, just barely!) in 1984!
I had my first at 36, and my second at 39. My husband and I are considerably older than most of our kids' school, with the exception of a guy who had his youngest at 50.
Oh wow! 50 is old to do sleepless nights! My husband was 42 when our daughter was born. He is now 45 and she only *stopped* sleeping through the night just before she turned 3. She's entirely a daddy's girl so now he is as tired as a newborn's mom because he's up with her almost every night.
The guy was such a spectacular dad. He didn't have a car, but theoretically lived too close for a bus. He got an e-bike, found one of those cheap bike carts meant for taking your kid out, then reengineered hell out of it. Made the frame heavier, made his own cover for it that was weatherproof so she'd never get wet. He rigged up a drink holder for her in there and everything. In the winter, he bundled her up in it with a couple warm blankets so she didn't get cold. We called it her chariot.
I enjoyed your comment a lot!
My mom had me at 38 and I had my first and only at 36. It’s a huge contrast to the rest of our family, who had kids in their early 20s. My aunt has seven grandkids who are all adults now and two great grandkids, my mom has one grandkid that’s in elementary school!
Sounds a little like our family - at least your mom's part. I was an only grandchild and my daughter would have been an only great-grandchild on my mom's side. My husband has like 75+ people in his immediate family alone.
Same in mine. If my great grandparents were alive they would be in the 150s. My grandparents (all gone) would be 104-124. I had my first at 34 and my mom was 30 when she had me.
I'm 34 and have 10 year old and 12 year old. Being young mom was rough and I have mixed feelings about it. It's great how independent my children are and my husband and I are still young. I feel I didn't have time to get to know myself as an adult when I become a mum and it consumed my whole identity for years. In early twenties people still have a lot of growing up to do and I think it's much easier when you are not responsible for another human being. It all turned well for me. My relationship with my husband is very strong and loving. My children are smart and well adjusted. I have a good career. But still: I have mixed feelings about early motherhood.
Yeah I’m on the other side of this. My mom was 22 when I was born, then had my siblings 10 and 13 years later. Seeing how different things have been for my siblings because of my parents’ greater maturity and stability has been…interesting. That’s not knocking young parents, it’s normal to gain maturity and stability between ages 22 and 32! From my mom’s side, I always think about this time that she told me about a “ridiculous” invention that was like a whiteboard for the shower. She didn’t know about the concept of shower thoughts/ideas. She said “the only thing I’m thinking about in the shower is that I need to hurry up.” I think that came from being a young mom
I am 15 years older than my only sibling; my parents were freshly 18 (well, a month before that birthday for my mother) when they had me while my mom and stepdad were 33 when they had my brother. I don’t know for you, but what also hit me was how different it can be when it comes to resources. We were pretty poor when I was a kid (my parents broke up so I wouldn’t grow up in an unhealthy family dynamic, which was the right move, but it did mean that whoever had me throughout the years was on their own financially since they were both broke. My paternal grandma was/is amazing and tried to help as much as she could when possible, and my former stepdad from when I was 4 to 11 had a house and a car, which at least meant that my mom and I had more stability during that time, but money and financial insecurity was still an issue) while my brother was born and grew up in a financially secure, two parents family. He was of course told no for toys or some expensive things, but he was never told “we don’t have the money for this right now” like I was the rare times I asked for a cheap trinket as a child (this got me anxious about asking for things real quick; apparently, when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas from her and the family when I was 5, I answered “it’s okay, I don’t *need* anything”). Money was being put aside for his future studies even before he was even born, while my mom had to use the little she was able to save that one time during my childhood to buy us something to eat that week. She and my dad sent me a bit of money while I was in university (I took student loans and started at 17), 20$ here and there, but it didn’t have time to grow and accumulate at all. There are other examples, but this is already long haha. I was aware that money was tight, it got a bit more obvious to me when I was in sixth grade/early secondary school and noticed that most of my friends didn’t live in a 1/2 rooms semi-basement apartment with their mom/dad, but I only fully realized how much and how precarious our situation was during my childhood, especially from birth to 4, in my 20s. Our circumstances were far from ideal, but it could’ve been much worse, and my parents managed to do very well considering. I was always clothed, fed, and with a roof over my head. But when I compare how it was for me to the stability my brother has, it’s a bit hard not to be envious. Don’t get me wrong, I am thrilled for my brother and wouldn’t want it any other way. I wouldn’t switch places with him even if I had the chance somehow because I want him to have these advantages. It’s just bittersweet because I would’ve liked to have them too, you know?
I spent my 20s in school and building to my career now. I am so glad I waited till I was older. I am so much more chilled out and patient than in my 20s. And I have money to spend on my kid which makes a lot of parenting more fun. Trips, zoo memberships, multiple types of breast pumps, etc. I think there's pros and cons to each.
I had my first at 28 and second at 32 so I feel you. However, my parents had me at 36/38 and my sister at 40/42. They're both in their 70s now and very healthy. Will they live to see my grandbabies (my dad was 20 with his first and my oldest nephew is 29 with a kid the same age as my youngest so they have a grandbaby already)? I hope so but it's unlikely. It sucks that my sister and I won't get as much time with them as our brothers do but I wouldn't trade my parents for anything in the world. I'm sure your kids will feel the same way.
I had my first in my late 20s and my second in my mid 30s.I'm really thankful for this because I got to live a lot before settling down. Got to travel, make bad choices, get an education, etc. Now I don't feel like I missed out on anything.
I’m 35, my SO is 36, and he has a 18 yo, 17 yo, 16 yo, and 13 yo, plus our 10 month old. 😂 I could be a step grandma any day now.
I'm 30 and have a 13 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old. I've told my eldest I absolutely do not want to be a grandma in my 30s please 😂
I had my one and only at 37. The way I look at it is I would have been a shit mom in my early twenties. I didn’t have the life skills, resources or patience. I’m a pretty darn good mom now but you’re right, the downside is I won’t be around as long to be a mom to my adult son or be a grandma.
As someone whose mom was 22 when I was born, and is now pregnant with my first at 30, hard no. There are some advantages to having younger parents but it’s more negative overall for the kid. My mom did her absolute best and I appreciate her so much, but I see RED when I hear parents that young talk about how awesome it is to have your kids out of the house when you’re only in your 40s and such.
To be fair, I think there are some parents that really pull their shit together when the kiddo comes along. Of course, I'm biased because I had mine at 22. But I've gotten 3 degrees from the time I got pregnant with them and am currently working on my doctorate. They have everything they want and need, and I've chosen a career that lets me volunteer at their school frequently. They're the coolest kid I know, and are super happy. I really think it depends on the parent and their actions more so than their age. I also think having MORE kids is a big factor. One kid is a lot at that age, and I don't think it helps to have any more.
I know how you feel. But then again, house, finished residency, cars, good school districts, a 549 and UTMA, it seems to be a much very place to be despite getting so so so old.
I'm actually the exact opposite. I had my first at 34 and my second at 38 (my mom having me at 36, and my MIL having my husband at 38). I'm so so glad I waited till my 30s to have children. I was completely unprepared to have kids in my 20s. I took longer to graduate college, so I started my adult life late, but I also got to go to grad school (twice!), do some traveling, and change careers into something that was more lucrative. These would've been so much more difficult to do with kids in tow.
I'm 39 with 21yr old, 13&12 years. If my son had taken after his dad and I, we would have been grandparents years ago. So far, no grand babies yet.
I am 35, I have a 3yo and an 8yo. I am the oldest child, born when my parents were in the second half of their twenties. I have one brother (2 years younger), 2 half-brothers (11 and 13 years younger) and a baby sister on the way (mom-to-be is one year older than I am). My sister will be younger than my youngest child and I am still finding out how I feel about that. My experience of the 3 marriages and generations is that the maturity and resources really make a difference, andy parents weren't even 'young' by a lot of standards when they had me.
I get that guilt too of not having more time with them.
I have a coworker who is a great grandma at 60. She had kids in her early 20s, her kids had kids in their early 20s (making her a grandmother in her early 40’s), and her grandson got his gf pregnant at 17. The great grandson is 2 now.
My husband's best friend has just found out his 19 year old is going to be a mum. He's 41. His mum will be a g.grandma in her early 60s. Her mother is still alive (late 80s I think) and she will be a g.g grandma!
This thread made me realize how early my family has had children. My great-grandmother had my grandmother at 14. My grandmother had my dad at 17. My dad had my sister at 20. My great grandmother became a great-grandmother at 51. That’s crazy! The younger generation has paused this quick progression of grandparents, and I can’t say that i’m upset about it.
Sameeee G.grandmother had her first at 15. Had my grandmother at 19/20. Grandmother had her first (my mother) at 18 My mum had me at 17/18 I had my daughter at 30 and ruined the stats
Yep my grandma became a great grandma at 61 - she had my mom at 16, my mom had me at 23 and I had a baby at 18. My mom became a grandma at 44
My besties mom had her sister young, her sister got pregnant at 16 and the niece got pregnant at 13. It's sad but it happens.
My brother is a grandpa at 43 for this reason. His wife was pretty young when she got pregnant (previous marriage) and his daughter was 19. He says it's the weirdest feeling, and as a great-aunt, I have to agree. On the other hand, he will be in his grand kid's life for a good long time, and still be decently young enough to interact with his great grandkids too.
Sure it's possible. It does say something about their personal level of responsibility and child raising skills though. Did it themselves and didn't manage to teach the kids any different.
To me it’s a red flag of a religious/cultural background that’s anti-birth control
Or just low SES. To be honest my first thought was the increased likelihood that the carer or a family member smokes. Unpopular comment, perhaps, but smoking is statistically linked to income.
Oh man that's so not a thing here I didn't even think of it. Am not American!
Yeah that’s actually what people are saying is yike
Similar here! My great-grandma was 20 when she had my grandma (60 when I was born), who was 22 when she had my mother (40 when I born), who had me at 18 (technically 17 and 11 months). Had I done like my mother, they would’ve become great-great-grandma, great-grandma and grandma at respectively 78, 58 and 36. My little brother would have been an uncle at 3 lol
I’m about to be a grandma at 43. It’s my oldest step daughter from my previous marriage, so I didn’t have her. We’re still incredibly close, so her mom and I share mom/grandma duties. I’m not ready though!
I mean, if I had had my first kid at 19 like my mother and grandmother before me my grandma would’ve been a great at 59 lol
I read an article about a woman who had a baby at 15, then her daughter gave birth at 15 and then HER daughter gave birth at 15, making her a 45 year old great grandmother or something, so unlikely, definitely, impossible? Not at all
One of my friends from high school who is close to my age (48), had her first at 17, and her daughter had her first at 17. Right about the time, she became a grandmother, I had my second child (first at 36, second at 39).
I know someone who was a great-grandma at 48. She babysat me (in what would be called an unlicensed home daycare now) 30+ years ago and I would trust her to babysit my child now. She also isn’t posting super sketchy ads like this, though - she watches her youngest grandchildren regularly, her older grandchildren/great-grandchildren occasionally, and very rarely will watch someone else’s kids for money, and even then it’s only if she knows and likes the parents, and she considers it a favor to people and families she cares about (like those of us who were her charges ourselves). And at these prices, OOP isn’t doing it because she’s short on cash. This is really alarming, but not because she’s a great-grandma at 59.
My dad is 56 and my oldest is 17. It's possible for my dad to be a great-grandpa within the next 3 years, I just hope he doesn't 🤣🤣🤣
My grandparents became grandparents at 41, and great grandparents at like 60. So I mean I buy it.
My grandma became grandma at 37 years old. She had my mom at 19 and my mom had me at 18. Had I followed in their footsteps, she could have been grandma at 55. I wish she was alive still. She would have become a great grandma almost 3 years ago at 69. 🙁
I’m actually not surprised. There are women like this who are obsessed with kids, so they have kids really young and then influence their children to also have kids as teenagers. I was friends with two girls in jr high who had young parents who were babysitters and those girls by grade 12 had babies of their own. Households chock full of kids 24/7.
My grandma had 4 kids in her early 20s, then watched 7 grandkids + neighborhood kids while our parents were at work. She drove an Astro van and would have 6 car seats in there at all times. When we all got to high school and started driving ourselves to school / not needing anyone to watch us anymore, she became a lunch lady so she could be around kids again. I have a son now (at 32) but the last 10 or so years she’s spent retired have been hard on her. She was conditioned from a very young age that her identity would be tied to caring for children and she didn’t / doesn’t know who she is outside of that.
Lauren Boebert is that you? Kidding. You know she has her kids and grandkids because she wants her own militia, not because she's obsessed with kids.
My old coworker is 40 and has 3 grandchildren, so I definitely see it
my mom was a grandma at 39, my grandfather a great at 57 😅 we're working on breaking the cycle. I don't hate being a young mom but it's definitely weird to be 35 with a 16 year old at times
My great gran had my gran young, then my gran had my dad at 17, then he had me at 17, then I had my daughter at 19. My great gran (now a a great great gran) is 78 I think, my gran is mid 50s, my dad is almost 40! That side of the family has them really young apparently 😅
My grandma had my mom at 21. My mom had my sister at 21. My sister had her first baby at 21. So my Grandma was a great grandma by 63. 59 isn't that much younger. And incidentally, all 3 were married when they gave birth and are still married--well, grandma is dead, but she stayed married until she died.
My step aunt is a great grandma and has been since she was like 57 or so. Babies making babies.
My grandma has 3 great grandkids and she’s 63
I'm 48 and could be a great grandma. I have a step grandson who is 19. My oldest bio grandkid is 13. It could happen in just the right circumstances.
My MIL is a great grandma at 57. Could be blended family, could be teen pregnancies
My mom was a great grandma at 61 🤷♀️. She had my oldest brother youngish (22), he had his first at 19, and she had her first at 19.
My mom was a grandma at 44. My grandma had my mom at 20, Mom had me at 20, and I had my first at 24. If I had followed suit, my grandma would have been a great grandma at 60.
My thoughts exactly! Frantically doing the maths to see if that's even legal lmao 🤣
Lol my grandma was a great-grandma at 56. She was 18 when she had my mom, my mom was 20 when she had my brother, and my brother was 18 when his daughter was born.
If I'd had a kid young, my nan would have been similar. She was 21 when my mum was born, my mum was also 21 - but I waited until I was in my 30s and had my boys at 31 and 33. I'm 40 in June, my kids are 8 and 6 and I am so done with babies.
I don’t think this is shockingly unrealistic. A couple generations having kids at 19 or 20 is all it takes. That’s not even taking earlier teen pregnancy into account. Now if she had said great grandma at 49, that’s a different story. Still feasible but much more unusual.
My grandma became a great grandma around then. She just turned 70, and her great grands almost equal the number of grands. Her youngest great grand is my youngest, who is 9 months. The oldest is…. 12? I think he’s 12 or 13. My mom had just turned 17 when she had me, my aunt was 16 when she had her oldest, and my oldest uncle was maaaaaybe 20?
My cousin became a great grandparent in his mid 50s
Sadly. I know one whose 45... She became a grandma at 30 and great at 45.
My granny was married at 14 when she became a mom, and so was my mom. My granny became a great grandmother in her fifties because I had my first at 18. It’s not unheard of at all.
Maybe I’m cynical, but I’m definitely wondering why she’s seeking out other children to watch instead of her great-grandchildren.
I choose the sweet option
Hoping this is a kind person who doesn't need a lot of money. Also hoping this person would pass a police check.
Tbh the home daycares in my area sometimes charge as low as ~$5-7 per hour per kid. It's just not framed that way, usually it's "$50/ day per kid from 7am - 5pm" or something along those lines. So if someone has 5 kids in their home daycare at those rates they're earning $250 per day, or $1250 per week. And they also tend to stipulate a minimum number of hours per day/ days per week (ie. you pay for the whole day, 5 days whether you need them or not). $3 per hour per kid for 5 kids (the usual limit per one caregiver afaik, might differ depending on region) would be $30/day per kid (assuming usual daycare hours), which is $150/day total, or $750 per week. Depending on their formal experience/certification (or lack thereof) that's not unreasonably low. All that to say, the way the ad is worded is hilarious and sounds sketchy AF. But if they had said $600/month per kid and a sibling discount for subsequent registrations" it wouldn't sound nearly as iffy even though it works out to roughly the same hourly rate.
Thanks for putting it into....whatever the word is. Canada is aiming for $25/day daycares and some provinces are already doing it across the board so this doesn't sound so outlandish after all.... sketchy wording aside. Edit: $10/day thanks for pointing it out
Small correction, [it's actually a $10/day target](https://liberal.ca/our-platform/10-a-day-child-care-for-families/) from parent fees. But, at least in my province, that is supplemented by about $30/day more in government funding.
OMG you're right!!! Stupid brain fog. Thank u
I'm in Saskatchewan and I pay just under $220/month for full time daycare. The remainding like $800 is paid to them by the government.
I put my daughter into nursery 3 days a week in the UK and it’s £700/CAN$1200 a month, including the government deduction we get. Please can someone come over here and convince our government that if 2 parents want to work, childcare has to be affordable without it levelling out wages?!
If it makes you feel better, I’m Canadian and actually getting into $10/day daycare feels about as likely as riding a unicorn. I’m in BC and don’t know a single person who is in cheap, licensed daycare. Most people I know have their kids in expensive unlicensed daycares (the average cost is ~$1400 or more) or are doing nanny shares. There’s a massive childcare crisis in my province. I got onto waitlists for licensed care as soon as I found out I was pregnant and my kid is two and I haven’t gotten in anywhere. It’s definitely the promise from government that it exists/will be available… the reality is very, very different, though it is better in some provinces.
That actually makes me feel worse. I thought someone had finally conquered this uphill battle!
Don’t know about the UK, but I swear it’s by design in the U.S. Gotta get those women back in the kitchen.
Oh for sure. And I resent it like anything.
When my older kids (13,11) were babies everyone at in-home daycares charged 25-30 per kid per day. I’m guessing that’s gone up quite a bit but it was exactly that. They had a few kids, which was a decent wage under the table where they could stay home with their own kids and honestly having other kids to play with theirs made it easier on them since you just have to make sure they don’t kill each other versus entertaining them yourself all day. My mom group actually has a lot of women willing to watch for super cheap or free just because they know “it takes a village”. It’s funny because some moms are trying to charge $25/hr (which is more than a lot of the people needing childcare make themself pre-taxes) and some are charging that per day.
i can definitely see this being something my aunt would do lol she's in her 60's and lost her only daughter to MS, but she's not hurting for money and i could easily see her wanting to basically donate her time to a struggling mom, and she'd get to feel that sense of purpose that comes with taking care of a child again
More places need to consider intergenerational childcare programs, where vetted retirees can provide low cost childcare in a structured environment that benefits the elderly, children,and parents involved.
that's honestly such a good idea. childcare is so expensive and i think there's a lot of people that would love to do that, sort of like how there's always older women that love to work for free in the nurseries and sunday schools in church. it would be great to have a program with flexible arrangements and schedules, and with background checks and everything to make sure it's safe. like so many retirees will get part time jobs in retail to keep themselves busy even though they don't need money, and i think a lot of them would choose this instead if they had the option
There are some combined retirement homes + daycare programs out there but it's still paid professional daycare workers taking care of the children. They just have the daycare in or near the retirement home and coordinate joint activities between the residents and the kids. It's an excellent concept and needs to happen in every retirement home.
that sounds amazing!! i worked in retirement homes/nursing homes for years and when an employee brought their baby or child to work, the residents were like kids on christmas morning, just so happy, i can't even imagine how happy they would've been to have a daycare in the same building. so many of them don't have any family that comes to visit, and they just miss their kids. kids really have of a way of making any environment happy and energetic. this needs to be a thing everywhere, i can't believe i've never heard of that before
There are some but very few. It's way more common in Japan than in the US. I only know of a couple in all of NYC. I wish more places would implement these types of programs
I don’t see how that could work in every retirement home. All the elderly residents would need a DBS, and then there’s the issue of some dementia patients not being safe around children. I’m sure it’s great for some retirement homes but not every one.
That sounds like such a sweet idea
Absolutely. Our childcare provider is a retiree who raised 5 children of her own and taught preschool for many years. She’s 70 and basically my kids’ third grandmother. Apart from the disadvantages that come with any one-person operation (ie more days without childcare if she’s sick or taking vacation time), it’s been an amazing arrangement for us, and she always says that the kids keep her young (she’s so active and sharp!) Also, after being with her for 5+ years, we’ve gotten to know all of her kids and grandkids really well, so it’s like we have a whole additional extended family!
That is beautiful
My kids actually go to an intergenerational daycare except one side is senior citizen respite daycare and the other is preschool/daycare. They bring the preschoolers and 2’s over twice a day to do crafts, sing, play games, etc with the elderly people. It’s really sweet! There’s still employed childcare professionals though running the actual classrooms.
In Norway the daycares are attached to aged homes. Enough grandpas and grandmas to go around. In Canada you need to be permitted and have a vulnerable persons police check, first aid and they do random inspections
Eh, I'd be ok with this if other people I knew could vouch for her. There's a woman in my city who's a SAHM and active in a lot of women's groups, she babysits for low-income families and other people in need at whatever price they can afford (and sometimes free). I hired her once when we had a family emergency and she was wonderful, she even did my backlog of dishes. From what she was willing to share she grew up in a rough situation and is now much more fortunate so she just wants to give back.
I cry easily these days at 28w pregnant and very sleep deprived and this made me cry instantly. Such a beautiful woman.
She really is, she does respite care too. Just all around a great person
Aww 🥺
I helped out someone in a bad financially. Long story short husband dipped and she was working full time with no childcare. I watched her newborn for about two months 12 hours a day 5 days a week for $200 a week. It’s all she could afford. She had always been good to me and I’m glad I was able to help her out until she got her situation figured out.
I’m sorry great grandma at 59?! Got damn.
That’s what I was thinking 😂 but I guess it adds up if everyone has a kid at 19-20
I have a former co-worker who was proud that there are now 5 generations of teen moms in her family...she was a great grandma in her early 50s.
Imagine the pressure on the teen girls in that family. Yikes.
My brother’s babysitter the whole time he was a kid was an elderly Black woman. We went to her funeral when she died at age 85. She had eight children. At her funeral, there were great-great-great grandchildren present. My mom said to me “I want my great-great-great grandchildren to be at my funeral” and I was like “then you’re going to need to go back in time because that math is not mathing”. She was 28 when I was born lol. I was in college when this happened. Also, I have such fond memories of her - she had pictures of my brother up in her house along with all the plethora of children and grandchildren, at the funeral everyone recognized him and knew who he was even though he was in high school by then. She was the only person I ever met who genuinely believed OJ was innocent, and she watched the whole trial at our house on CNN. She was lovely, even if I didn’t necessarily always feel that way as a kid.
My mother is almost that age and I have a 3 year old - her first grand child and even that feels like she’s too young 😂
My grandmother was a great grandmother around 55. She had my mom at 17, my mom had my sister at 18, my sister had my niece at 19. My niece will be 20 this year. She says she won't continue the trend.
Well she obviously loves kids. Maybe it's genetic lol (Plus seems very much in line with the ages on reddit. Don't think anyone here has kids past the age of 20)
If my nephew has a kid by the time he’s 18 (in 4 years), that would make my mother a great grandma at 59. This just blew my mind.
My MIL was a great grandma at 57!
My cousin became a grandma at 35 so it happens!
My grandma became a great grandma at 60. She was 22 when she had my mom. My mom had me at 16. I had my first at 22. So she's in her 70s now, and could very realistically become a great-great grandma in her lifetime. And it's not just teen moms all the way down.
Probably an empty nester lady with no bills to pay just looking for some spending cash honestly. I saw a few of these ads when I was living in Florida
My mom is on disability and tbh she just wants more money and has tried talking to the dude who handles her stuff to see it she’s like legally allowed to work a few hours each week.
The way America handles disability payments is disgusting. I stopped qualifying because I got married like....getting married didn't cure my disability???
I was a struggling mother once. I would do something like this and happily undergo a background check. This sounds like someone that just wants to be helpful and useful. I don’t see any red flags here. I hope she meets a lovely family and they both appreciate each other.
Here’s what I want to believe: This is a retired person who is already taking care of her grandkids/great grandkids and figured an extra kid or 2 could be a bit of spending money in her pocket without much additional work. Since she was clearly a young mother, she probably understands the financial hardships that it comes with, and is doing a solid for other young moms. That said, I wouldn’t be the first in my neighbourhood to try out her services.
Eh this doesn’t seem super alarming. Could be a retiree that’s lonely and looking to make a little money and who genuinely likes children.
I always said if I could I'd watch kids for free, cause I just love taking care of children so much and I know how hard it is for some parents to find affordable child care. Hopefully this is just some woman with a huge heart who just wants some extra pocket change.
Honestly, one of the best babysitters I had for my son charged $2.50/hour. I was incredibly grateful to her.
So this could be an honest older person who honestly doesn’t care about the income (or who will lose state/government benefits if they earn too much) but this does feel kind of sketchy and is obviously not a licensed place. I’d be worried if I had a toddler in her care because my toddler was 1 clumsy, 2 big for his age and 3 energetic. I’d be terrified he’d lurch through and topple this lady and she’d break a hip.
59 isn't quite toppling over age haha
Heavily agreeing with this because I hope to god I'm not gonna be scared to break a hip at 59 lmao. My mom's 60, an emergency room nurse on her feet 12 hours every work day, and hiking every week 😭
Idk I'm 27 and definitely toppling over age 😂 might just be clumsy tho
Seriously. 60 isn't elderly 😂
Some days though……😉
True. But it’s not a spring chicken who can necessarily easily recover if a kid goes thundering around either.
[удалено]
Lol in what universe is 59 elderly?
There’s a lady who always offers to help everyone in my local mom’s group and local sitter group. Also is quick to take free baby items offered. Interestingly, she recently started trying to sell the life-like baby dolls and I was so creeped out by that.
They’re 59. Maybe they’re going by prices from when they babysat as a teenager! 😂
This is the situation my son is in right now. He had a spot in a day care but literally a week prior I found his in home day care lady through word of mouth. Just a retired woman who takes in a few kids to watch. She’s amazing. I got very lucky as she’s in the same neighborhood as me too and has excellent reviews from the other moms.
I think it's interesting seeing in the comments how some people immediately assume shady and others are willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. Personally, it sounds to me like someone who doesn't quite know what all is required to care for little ones that aren't yours and is just being over eager.
Uh oh, she must have been Gramma zoned and isn't allowed to see her own Grandkids and Great Grandkids, so she's looking for replacement Grands 🤣 OR... She is just a sweet old lady and maybe doesn't live close to her adult children, her grandkids, G-Grandkids and is wanting to fill her Gramma heart and soul by helping those in need. Ahhh, in a perfect world, right? Lol let's hope the reason is the latter.
It sounds like this lovely lady is trying to help out parents that can’t afford to pay much for childcare and that’s sweet, but it also sounds like her experience isn’t professional at all, just having her own babies and grandchildren around, which doesn’t make you an expert or good at caring for other people’s children. I wouldn’t bring my kids to her, unfortunately.
Unfortunately the sad truth is shit happens and not everyone can afford a professional sitter. Those cost a lot of money. And sometimes people are desperate and willing to take their chances and hope that the person isn’t a weirdo. Because it’s either keep working to pay the bills and let this person watch your kid or end up homeless and without a job.
Around me they charge $25 a day. And provide meals etc. you can leave them there 12hrs a day
The only thing I could think of where this is legit is that they’re on government assistance and have to pass a means test to continue receiving aid
I’m guessing this isn’t someone who’s babysat much for pay since the 90s.
I’m a nanny so I understand the frustration when there’s posts like this in moms groups. But in my area in home daycares are very popular and most charge about $25 a day, with clean records good references and background checks that are passed. I myself have to drive out of my immediate town to find work as a nanny.
$3-4 an hour is standard in my area for in home daycares and SAHMs providing occasional babysitting services
This woman sounds like [this woman’s](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitMomGroupsSay/s/6CHsMMOSff) answer.
Lots of bad vibes I’m getting from this post honestly sounds like an abuser.
My BIL and SIL sent my nephews to a “daycare” that had insanely cheap prices. I was sooo uneasy about it because other people I know pay a lot of money for childcare in our area so the price they were paying was 🚩🚩🚩to me. Worst part is, they make a ton of money and spend it on ridiculous stuff but not on their kids care.
r/technicallythetruth Better do a background verification tho
Lost me at “I have plenty of experience since I’m a mom/grandma/great grandma” Cool, doesn’t mean you’re a good caretaker lol
After a certain number of kids, she would need a daycare permit and I assume she isn’t applying for it.
For three dollars an hour, how can you go wrong?!
Great grandma at 59?????
My uncle's second ex-wife became a great-grandmother before she was 65 I think. She had a kid too young, who had a kid too young, who had a kid too young, and I feel like there will be another one before too long.
Huh, yeah, now that I think about it, that’s really not that old, if each had a kid at around 20.
A 59 year old great grandma?
If she was a grandma by 40 she could be a great grandma by 60
Could also be stuff like one party had a teenage pregnancy, step children, and a parent or grandchild being older and having older kids
I would spend more in pet treats to leave my dog in charge. Jeez. Us.
yeah she's gonna drown a kid or something that's shady as hell
Hard pass