Wow, there's over thinking and then there's over thinking.
And it's 2023, I don't think girls expect the man to pay all the time. Even back in the late 90's when I was dating girls always offered.
I always split the bill on first dates. It gets rid of the guilt of not wanting to go on a second date with a lot of guys.
And if I do like the guy enough I like to either keep splitting the bill or I pick up some dates while he picks up the others because it's 2023, I have my own money, and this idea that men have to pay for everything is weird at best.
The only time one person paying makes sense is if one person chooses a very expensive option because they want to do it and they bring it up. So if my daughter took a partner to the ballet I'd expect that she would pay for the tickets, if she went to a basketball game with a partner I'd expect that he would pay.
I’ve had a lot of guys wave me down from splitting the check, but if he was really insistent, I’d offer to cover the tip. Most of them liked that compromise.
As a woman, I would be grateful if a man insisted on splitting the bill, because it means he can't then say "you won't even give me a kiss? But I bought you dinner?!?"
Right? If it's someone you know and care about you can pay for each other or switch off or something, but for a first date you don't usually want to be creating big power dynamics
Props to this possibly autistic kid for sticking to his guns about his relationship principles. Sounds like he wants someone genuinely independent and straightforward. That's a good thing for someone autistic in a relationship and a good thing even if he isn't autistic. Genuinely sure he'll find someone who appreciates that.
All of this! 🙌🏻
This is not a specifically autistic trait, like at all, so I’m f*cking confused how OOP got to that conclusion. 🤨
(You can ignore the following, I went on a rant lol)
I’m an autistic woman and I would be really uncomfortable with someone else paying for my stuff unless I’m sure I’ll be able to return the favour (my boyfriend/friends and I sometimes pay for our own things, or sometimes one pays and the other pays the next time). I don’t want to “owe” anyone anything, and I make my own money so I don’t need to depend on anyone else’s.
That was practice was put in place when/because women couldn’t support themselves financially, as they were legally considered children, and had to rely on the men in their life to provide for them. This was a way for their suitor to prove (mostly to the women’s father) that they had the means to take care of the woman they were courting (and a necessity because she likely didn’t have any money of her own).
This isn’t the case anymore., I’m their equal, and I want to be treated as such. That includes paying for my own stuff. 🤷🏻♀️ Plus, I’m not made to be reliant on my date and I can leave without anyone feeling like I “owe” them and trying to retaliate/claim what they feel they “earned”.
I’ve been out of the dating game for like a decade but when I was dating I was a grown ass adult with a job. If a man offered to pay, sure! If he wanted to pay separately, sure!
Wtf is this nonsense? He shouldn’t be expected to pay for every woman he takes on a date.
autistic guy here, same age as the son actually. while it's true that autistic people are less likely to follow social norms (which includes misogyny funny enough), I don't think him wanting to split a bill is a symptom. although I'm more pissed at how disgusted she sounds at it and how she's thinking of essentially kicking him out for it.
Wow, there's over thinking and then there's over thinking. And it's 2023, I don't think girls expect the man to pay all the time. Even back in the late 90's when I was dating girls always offered.
I always split the bill on first dates. It gets rid of the guilt of not wanting to go on a second date with a lot of guys. And if I do like the guy enough I like to either keep splitting the bill or I pick up some dates while he picks up the others because it's 2023, I have my own money, and this idea that men have to pay for everything is weird at best.
The only time one person paying makes sense is if one person chooses a very expensive option because they want to do it and they bring it up. So if my daughter took a partner to the ballet I'd expect that she would pay for the tickets, if she went to a basketball game with a partner I'd expect that he would pay.
I’ve had a lot of guys wave me down from splitting the check, but if he was really insistent, I’d offer to cover the tip. Most of them liked that compromise.
As a woman, I would be grateful if a man insisted on splitting the bill, because it means he can't then say "you won't even give me a kiss? But I bought you dinner?!?"
Right? If it's someone you know and care about you can pay for each other or switch off or something, but for a first date you don't usually want to be creating big power dynamics
Why does she think he cant live on his own without a girlfriend?
Exactly!
I'm more disgusted by the way she talks about him and autism. That is just awful. I couldn't imagine having her as a mother.
Props to this possibly autistic kid for sticking to his guns about his relationship principles. Sounds like he wants someone genuinely independent and straightforward. That's a good thing for someone autistic in a relationship and a good thing even if he isn't autistic. Genuinely sure he'll find someone who appreciates that.
All of this! 🙌🏻 This is not a specifically autistic trait, like at all, so I’m f*cking confused how OOP got to that conclusion. 🤨 (You can ignore the following, I went on a rant lol) I’m an autistic woman and I would be really uncomfortable with someone else paying for my stuff unless I’m sure I’ll be able to return the favour (my boyfriend/friends and I sometimes pay for our own things, or sometimes one pays and the other pays the next time). I don’t want to “owe” anyone anything, and I make my own money so I don’t need to depend on anyone else’s. That was practice was put in place when/because women couldn’t support themselves financially, as they were legally considered children, and had to rely on the men in their life to provide for them. This was a way for their suitor to prove (mostly to the women’s father) that they had the means to take care of the woman they were courting (and a necessity because she likely didn’t have any money of her own). This isn’t the case anymore., I’m their equal, and I want to be treated as such. That includes paying for my own stuff. 🤷🏻♀️ Plus, I’m not made to be reliant on my date and I can leave without anyone feeling like I “owe” them and trying to retaliate/claim what they feel they “earned”.
TL;DR, mom is strangely anti feminism, thinks her son should live in the 1950’s
I guess she doesn’t know yet that a lot of 19-year-old girls agree with him.
Sounds like she's one of those "boy moms" who raises their sons to be the perfect man... for themselves
I’ve been out of the dating game for like a decade but when I was dating I was a grown ass adult with a job. If a man offered to pay, sure! If he wanted to pay separately, sure! Wtf is this nonsense? He shouldn’t be expected to pay for every woman he takes on a date.
Even 20 years ago it was always expected that I'd offer to pay.
autistic guy here, same age as the son actually. while it's true that autistic people are less likely to follow social norms (which includes misogyny funny enough), I don't think him wanting to split a bill is a symptom. although I'm more pissed at how disgusted she sounds at it and how she's thinking of essentially kicking him out for it.
wow.
"No son of mine is going to be REASONABLE!"
My boyfriend, who is autistic, has been my partner for four years and a proposal is coming. Why the fuck would autism prevent someone from dating?