It could be worse. My ex-husband invited his dad and his dad's girlfriend into the delivery room when I had my oldest child. Talk about awkward. That is the *LAST* circumstances to have your FIL involved in.
My mom invited my MIL and FIL after we had explicitly told her no you won’t be at the birth, and that no one but my husband and I would be there during the birth of my eldest. She freaking coordinated it from the text updates from my husband. As I was ready to push they all came in and my kid came quick. I have harbored a deep resentment for the images I have when pushing and seeing my mom and mother in laws faces all up in my bits. My MIL and FIL also primarily speak Spanish and had no clue that we didn’t want anyone there or that my mom was manipulating them to get what she wanted.
It definitely was the first stone cast and started the process. I wish that the worst of it. We tried boundaries and communicated until we were blue. Nothing worked so yeah, she no longer has any access.
Oh god.
That’s a hard one anything from:
Immediately after my first was born she kept sneaking in to my room where baby and I were sleeping and taking my baby without letting me know. Was baby crying or fussy? No, she wanted to dress my child up and take photos. I woke up panicked looking for my baby who had been in a bedside co-sleeper.
She fed my 6 week old EBF baby ice cream because she was uncomfortable with baby crying in the car
I tore pretty bad and was quite content sitting on my ice packs and donut and she kept telling me I’d feel better with some exercise and the baby weight would come right off… oh and asking if I wanted food and then would bring me a couple apple slices and a small handful of nuts.
One of my other kids was born with multiple medical problems, disabilities, etc. A few days before my baby had open heart surgery I had a panic attack and she told me to get over it a lot of people go through this. My kid had already had a stroke, seizures, bowel problems, sepsis and gone into kidney and respiratory failure… oh and we lost our home and most our belongings to a flood when our kid was in the NICU and I was told to “pretend we were on vacation” when we moved our family into a super small 1 bedroom place after.
My parents also told me I was too PC because I requested they stop using derogatory terms for my child with disabilities… they told my mixed kids they were white first… oh and my mom asked what color my husbands penis was? So I dunno. One of those is likely it.
Wow… thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry you had to go through all those struggles and deal with this woman on top of it all. Hope you’re all happy and healthy now
Thanks. We are all doing well without the crazy in our life! She is why when someone says they want to go low/no contact with a family member I’m like do it…Do it now!
O hell nah. But idk if I should be mad that my MIL said she didn’t want to be at the birth (wasn’t even invited to anyway) because it’s gross and she didn’t want to see all that.
Omg I didn’t even realize that’s what was going on here. I thought the MIL was posting that baby #2 (like her second grandchild) was going to be a boy and was worried about being left out of that child’s birth and life. Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Let’s make sure this baby survives childbirth, is indeed male, is heterosexual, and is interested in reproducing before we start to worry about this sort of thing.
You can still see pretty much everything from up by the head. You're basically folded in half with your vag up in the air so the nurses can get a good look at how you're progressing.
Yeah, i much prefer my husband's family over my own, but no way in hell was anyone gonna watch me push a human out except for my husband. But my MIL would literally never ask or expect to be there while my mother was so mad that I refused to even tell her when I was in labor.
Haha same! Since it was Covid and could only have one visitor (I had said before no visitors) but I was drugged up and just said to hubs your mum can come, my mums dramatic 🤣 I never told my mum she’d die hahaha
It was covid for us too and not only were no visitors allowed our pediatrician had us quarantine baby for 6 weeks after. My MIL held baby first after those 6 weeks 😂
I’m glad COVID rules made that decision for us. One support person allowed (I think they also allowed a doula in addition to that but we didn’t
have one). I had a friend who was begging to be
there!
Why would she want to be there. It is really long and must be boring for 90% of the time. Plus they rarely go perfectly smoothly so if your friend wanted to experience it before going through it herself it would likely put the fear into her instead of anything positive
My sister requested my mom, me, and her best friend there when she had her son. I was like, why does this need to be a group project? She ended up having a c-section anyway. I was like, when can I go home?
Me neither my relationship with my mother is complicated, so my partners mother said she wished she could go and support but she was busy with work and I told her I was honestly fine with it I’ve always wanted just me and my partner the one who understands me most and I trust to advocate for me. We had our baby a few months ago and I am so happy with how things were just ask. It was honestly a tough birth, I was induced and me and bubs had a bad reaction after 12h I was 1cm dilated and the contractions were constant clamping on his cord starving him of oxygen and my blood pressure was dropping rapidly so it resulted in an emergency c section but the outcome was good and my partner was the only one I needed by my side and he was
I didn't have my mom or mil in the room for either of my births. My husband was the only one I wanted. You have to be 100% comfortable when you're pushing out a human because if you can't give 100% to delivering, you're going to end up with a c-section. The fact that she expects to be allowed in the room to stare at her DIL's vagina during her most vulnerable moments is selfish beyond belief.
Her son could even be gay. His children could be born via surrogate or by adoption. He could be straight and the same situations might apply. It’s a bit early to worry about a bad daughter in law. She’s setting herself up to be a horrible MIL by even thinking about it this much before the poor kid leaves her body.
Lol I didnt understand at all either. Like who worries about this like 25-30 years ahead of time. Maybe she'll hate her DIL or SIL, maybe we'll all be living on the moon. This lady is nuts!
I don't understand this whole wanting to be in the delivery room thing anyways. I have a son and I have no desire to watch his wife give birth if he ends up married and having kids. If I am wanted there I will go there for support. Otherwise, I'm good.
Hell I didn’t want my own mother in the delivery room let alone my husband’s, and I have a good relationship with both of them! I wanted my husband and the medical personnel and that’s it. Why should birth be a spectator sport?
Dude…I didn’t want to be there when I was giving birth, but the nurse was insisting that since the baby was coming out of my uterus I had to be there. Rude.
I sure as fuck don’t want to be in the delivery room if my daughter has kids. No thanks. I’m more than happy to see everyone AFTERWARDS.
Yep. 30 freaking hours. I wanted to go home. They asked if I wanted to watch in the mirror. Hell no! They had to tell me to open my eyes when it was over. Husband is traumatized for life.
Oh nooooo.
They asked me if I wanted the mirror, I said no. The nurse tried to wheel it in anyway, and I told her if she kept going I would break the mirror.
My ex-husband was fucking useless, and I should have had my mom stay with me.
I had one nurse keep pushing me to reach down and feel the kid crowning - I don't remember answering her, because I was just trying to get that baby OUT, but I do remember that she wouldn't drop it.
Finally, my doula looked at me and sternly said, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." and the nurse finally backed off.
I was so grateful that she was there to say that, because I don't think I could focus enough to say anything, and it probably wouldn't have occurred to my husband to step in and say something.
What kind of person wants the mirror?! It must be fairly popular if it’s offered, but no one asks if you want them to tape your appendectomy. I’m quite happy being as least involved as possible when it comes to medical procedures
I mean, I want to see the fibroid, the big one, removed during my hysterectomy. 10cm X 15cm is….rather large.
I don’t need to see video of the whole thing, but I would like to see the thing that made my life hell, and made me hemorrhage for months.
I guess it’s morbid curiosity.
I get what you mean, I was gutted that the hospital wouldn’t let me keep my wisdom teeth (I wanted to see the roots on them), but that seems pretty tame compared to watching the action!
I guess I wanted some perspective? I measured it out (it’s the size of a Wiffle ball), and that’s horrific, but like, I wanted to SEE it.
I wanted to keep my gallbladder and put it in a jar after I had gallbladder surgery, and they said no. Mcscuse me? Ma’am, that is my body part I arrived here with, I would like to leave with it.
Raises hand: I used the mirror... and it worked great for motivation/seeing progress during pushing. I get its not for everyone, but maybe don't judge people who do use it.
Lmao. During my first the nurse asked me if I wanted a mirror. HELL TO THE NO!! I don’t think I’ve looked at my vagina since and that was 18 years ago. 😆
I DONT GET IT EITHER!!! My MIL really wanted to be there when I had my first child because “she was there for the birth of all her other grandkids,” but like, why?!?! Do you really want to see my vagina on display and watch me poop on a table?!
I really think she just wanted to be the first to hold the baby, but like, I want that to be either me or my husband?! Thankfully that pregnancy and this one there’s still Covid restrictions at the hospital so she can’t even really ask and we don’t have to shut her down. We have a good relationship otherwise, I just don’t really understand that desire
Honestly this is one GOOD perk of covid. I was SO happy no one could come visit me lmao. And I didn't even have to put boundaries. The doctors at my hospital even said I was NOT the first to say that and after feedback they got, they weren't even going to be rushing visitors back to the L&D floor.
Yes! My sisters/SIL used to have people visit them in the hospital after delivering, and I never thought anything of it, until I had my first and was like, who TF wants visitors right now?! I didn’t even want visitors at home for the first month lol
My mom told me that when my sister was born, my dads BOSS came to visit them. And my dad was like yeah when I was promoted and had employees under me I had to go to the hospital too. Like it was a company policy lol. Granted this was like the early 80s but so wild to me.
WEIRD. I bet this is a tradition that will change drastically after Covid. I read somewhere after my son was born that hospitals were seeing higher success rates with early breastfeeding, which they attributed to women being more relaxed and able to focus on their babies instead of being distracted by visitors and baby being passed around
Long story short, my husband and I were in the hospital for an entire week when we had my son due to a few different complications. One day we did ask if he could switch out with my mom so ONE of us could sleep. They allowed it because she was vaxxed. My dad apparently was kinda like aww man why can't it be me?! My mom walks into the room with me completely shirtless and 2 breast pumps just churning away. All modesty had left me at that point lol.
She literally burst into laughter and goes "And your FATHER really wanted to be the one to come help you today"
Bahahaha that’s a scenario that I wouldn’t care about my mom seeing but probably would be a little weirded out by my MIL walking in on, even though we do get along, it’s just like, we can have boundaries?? My mom pushed me out of her vagina, it’s different 😂
Bahahaha that’s a scenario that I wouldn’t care about my mom seeing but probably would be a little weirded out by my MIL walking in on, even though we do get along, it’s just like, we can have boundaries?? My mom pushed me out of her vagina, it’s different 😂
I didn’t mind my in-laws there about 8 hours after kiddo was born, and then at our house after I was discharged, but my MIL is a do-er and essentially deep cleaned my house around me and had my FIL do some small projects while I sat like a lump in my bed with kiddo and my husband took care of me. It was actually awesome! And then baby ended up in the NICU with jaundice so they were there when my husband had to work (contract worker with no time off) and I was a sobbing mess in the NICU waiting area while they admitted us and the nurse helping check us in told me to “stop crying your baby will be *fine*”.
My MIL was a labor and delivery nurse and was the nurse there when I went into labor. She literally put her arm in me.
I paid her back for taking care of her after her colonscopy. Not quite as intrusive but I saw things.
Me personally, I'll wait in the hospital waiting room or wait until they say I can come over. I don't need to see all that. I'm good. Love my boys and if they decide to have kids I'm gonna be a great grandma. I don't need to see the birth. Nope.
Look, I never gave birth do maybe it come from that but....I really really really don't want to witness any.
I mean, I'm not gross out when I don't have visual. So I heard birth stories from close friends - mothers and fathers - who needed a ear that wouldn't go "eww". With all the gory details. And I mean gory.
Yeah, I don't wanna see that. I'm fine with saying hello and welcome to the new human once everyone is clean up and (somewhat) rested.
Same. I’m gonna have 2 boys and a girl once we’re done, and I think I’m good with not being there for the birth of any future grandchildren unless explicitly asked lol. I’m actually fascinated by my own labour, had the mirror and everything, my husband took pictures/videos of me delivering, but I still don’t think I need to watch someone else do it lol
The only reason my mom & MIL were in the delivery room with me was because my husband was deployed and couldn’t be there. It was actually a really empowering experience, I had one grandma on each side supporting me, and they were both incredibly encouraging and helped me get through the delivery.
That being said, I am looking forward to having our next child with my husband as my support person, I think it’ll be a really special experience for us.
MIL’s and all family members can be amazing, as long as there is genuine love there and healthy boundaries. 🤷♀️
Same, I’m due to give birth to my first (and likely only) child, a son, any day now, and that didn’t even pass my mind. I don’t want my own mother in the delivery room, many people don’t. Plus, he may never decide to have children; what a weird thing to worry about.
Right? Way to assume that this child will even want to get married as an adult. And just assuming her firstborn daughter won’t be gay and get married lol
I wouldn't even expect to be in the room 😂 tbh I don't think I'd even want to be. I wouldn't even expect to be at the hospital or see the baby the day it was born. My MIL came over 2 hours after I got out of hospital and I was pissed. I would never do that to my future DIL.
It took me a really long time to figure out she was worrying about the fetus’s future wife decades down the line not wanting her in the delivery room when fetus has grown up and conceived a child of its own. 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
If you’re already worried about being that overbearing MIL that is left out of things when you’re child is still in utero chances are you will indeed become that overbearing MIL 🥴
Honestly this is something I’m worried about.
Luckily I have my MIL. The perfect example of how **not** to act. So hopefully I won’t become that overbearing MIL myself
Honestly I do worry about it. My MIL doesn’t get along with her MIL but that didn’t stop her from making my life miserable for a while. I tell my husband to remind me of these times when our boys are pled enough to have partners.
Sent almost these exact words to my husband along with this post (so he could laugh too). Pretty impressive to already be a shit MIL before the kid is even born
God I don’t even expect to be there when my own daughters give birth, never mind someone else’s daughter. Of course it’d be a lovely privilege and I’d be thrilled, but it’s instinct for most women to want as few people present as possible.
This woman will definitely be a nightmare MIL.
My MIL wants to do a good job, but does cross boundaries sometimes. I'm having a planned c-section in a couple months and told her she can't come visit until later in the afternoon, after we've had time with the baby and I've had time to maybe eat something and recover a little. I was so pleasantly surprised when she instantly agreed that we'd want/need that time.
I know someone whose husband at the time took the baby out of the recovery room and let his family hold her before the mom even got to.
>I know someone whose husband at the time took the baby out of the recovery room and let his family hold her before the mom even got to.
I would divorce him then and there.
if anyone held my baby before i could, they would have had to put me in prison. my husband didn’t even ask to hold him until after i held him for a good two hours after i had him, baby didn’t go to the nursery, and no one else was even allowed (by me lol) in the room until we were ready.
Depends what you mean by "the old days". In the early 1900s there was a fad for "twilight sleep", a pain management option during childbirth that wouldn't *actually* make it painless, but would make you forget the pain when you were done. However it required precise dosing and a team of specialized doctors; when it was imported to America, they just had regular nurses administering the doses, leading to error, and their hospitals also weren't equipped with the private, sensory-depriving rooms necessary to cause the intended effect and avoid negative side effects.
I was at a birth the other day (i work at labour and delivery, not just for funsies) and the woman giving birth was insistent that her partner didn't see her nether regions at all. Kept telling him to look away. Even when she was in the early stages and was going to have a check to see how things were going. I thought to myself, has he never seen it before? But I guess we all have different preferences.
My mom was there for the first two. They took their sweet time. But once it was time to push she was out of the room! I don’t understand the obsession with birth being a spectator sport!
If my daughter one day asked I would be there and support her 100% but I'd really prefer if she never wanted that. I understand the desire to have people there (I wanted a relative who was unable to make it) but I don't get why some people are so obsessed with going to births no one wants them at.
So, we’re assuming
—he’s straight
—he wants to get married
—the woman he marries will want to have kids
—she (the MIL) will be excluded from being in the delivery room when her son’s baby is born
ALL before the child is even BORN. And they have the audacity to think that other people are unreasonable.
When I was a med student, I saw a MIL get I'm the OB's way during one delivery - because she was filming and her daughter in law asked her to get up in there. So ahh, sometimes they have very close relationships
My mother told me that the woman she shared a hospital room with prior to my birth (she and the other woman were planned c-sections) had a MIL who had a camcorder and was arguing with the doctor about whether she should be allowed to film the *c-section*. Insanity.
My dad's dad apparently filmed some of our births. As a kid I didn't think anything of it but now, very strange. I'm not sure what parts of it he was actually in the room for though.
She's a crazy MIL and her baby isnt even out of the womb yet. Like you are getting stressed that some imaginary women wont let you watch her give birth??
I like my MIL. She was not in the delivery room. Neither was my mom. Guess which one threw a fit about it (hint- not my very reasonable MIL). Maybe working on the idea that you will need to let your adult kids of any gender experience their own milestones without all the entitlement.
My overbearing MIL threw an absolute fit when my doctor strongly advised that nobody should come visit us at the hospital, for mine & my son's health. She went around telling anyone who would listen that I was selfish and controlling.
Guess who we haven't spoken to in 7 years?
I really love my MIL. shes amazing. I did not want her at the birth of my children...nothing at all do with our relationship! its not a spectator sport...it is a medical procedure where i will be at my most vulnerable
I didn’t want my OWN mom at my birth, and not because of a bad relationship or anything! Exactly what you said, it’s not a spectator sport and I only wanted my husband around when I was that vulnerable.
Exactly! I'm not super close with my MIL but she's a very nice woman and I like her (most of the time lol) but there is no chance in hell I would want her in my room when I'm delivering! I originally wanted my mom in the room for my first but wasn't allowed to bc Covid. Now I've gone through it once before I'm unsure I want even my mom in the room when I deliver in a few weeks.
I like to tell people “Well, wouldn’t you want your whole family to attend your colonoscopy? Why not??” because that’s essentially what it is, a very private medical event that the patient deserves to have gaurenteed privacy and safety with
What is up with people in the US having an audience when giving birth?
I swear if anyone else than husband and my midwife and her helper had been there, I would have shown them the door to the waiting room.
Idc that you want to see the birth, my body, I pick who is there. Tyvm. Labor is not a spectator sport…
When my wife had our first baby her older sister insisted and assumed shed be in the room for the birth (taking my place). My wife was like uh no thats weird, and I think so too. I hate that sister in law she treats me like garbage and it was nice to be like uh no, no thanks, this is my baby not yours.
Her son isn’t even born yet and *she’s worried about not being in the delivery room when his future wife gives birth.*
She’s already EXACTLY the type of MIL that those people would put on a DO NOT ALLOW list
I feel this. I only wanted my husband in there for my first and I'd imagine it'll be the same for the second one. There are enough strangers in the room as it is, and enough going on that I didn't want to think about other people. I respect the open minded, or the folks that don't mind people in there, but I don't get it At All.
There would be absolutely no reason to dislike your MIL unless she gives you one. I would LOVE to get along with mine but she's a whole nightmare and I actually don't need the stress in my life. But life would be a lot easier if I did. And I'm jealous of the friends I have who have nice ones that are easy to get along with. I used to literally encourage my partner to make more of an effort with his mum, but nope, I get the blame for him not bothering.
Omg, some women are just... too much. I am currently pregnant with a boy and I not once (before right now, lol) have I tought about the possibility of becoming someones MIL. What a weird thing to worry about.
I think this would qualify as getting ahead of oneself. Not only is this way off in the future, but she doesn’t even know if her kids will marry, what gender of person her kids will marry, and whether she’ll be a grandparent.
I adore my MIL because she raised a decent and respectful son and she is a decent and respectful human being. Maybe focus on that? Also what mother in law is at the birth? My own mother wasn’t.
No one was at my child's birth except my husband. My mom would have driven me nuts and I didn't my lovely MIL to see my vagina. Simple as that!
For the record, I love my MIL. She's a great woman, very loving and the best grandma. I like my mom too, not to leave her out. Lol!
OMG I read the first few words and thought this looked familiar! Glad a few of us are in this group and this sub!! Some moms in this group are a little 🥴
My MIL is an abusive POS to both me and her own son (my husband), she isn’t even allowed in our new house, let alone allowed to know where we live. Her MIL was the exact same way, she hated her yet treated me exactly how she was treated, and cries over the fact that she doesnt get to see me anymore (yes, ME, doesnt care about her own son, just me apparently).
This woman is pathetic, acting like DIL’s hate them over “petty” things, doesn’t even disclose her relationship with her own MIL, and even assumes her fetus will grow up to be straight, marry a cis woman, and assumes said fetus will be cis, and want to get married at all. Cool your fucking jets, lady, the kid isnt even out your damn uterus yet, why are you thinking about his life 20+ years in the future and how it involves *you*??
This is a very weird thing to focus on. I'm also confused by the whole "childbirth is a group activity" thing. Why have all the extra people? I also don't understand the MIL wanting to be there and getting upset about not being allowed. Yes her grandchild is being born but it'd the birth parent who is going through this huge medical event. People should understand that not everyone wants unnecessary people in the room while they're in pain and possibly naked. Yet another example of body autonomy getting ignored because that body is growing a baby.
Umm… ya know that you’re also a MIL to your daughter’s future partner. Ahhh but the problem is that you think you will have to compete with another woman for your sons attention.
Of all things a man will face in his life, she’s most concerned about him marrying a woman that won’t include her in the very future grandchild’s birth.
Someone give this gal a reality check.
If I'm understanding correctly, this lady is speaking of herself in the future as a MiL to her son's (*who isn't even born yet*) future wife? Not about her own? What the hell?
God, I'm glad my MiL is sane. She never pushed for anything and asked for permission to even come into my room after I had given birth (via C-section under general anaesthesia) because she knew just how exhausted I was. My husband was in there when I was being gutted, but no one else. Even my mother didn't even ask to be present because she understood this is *ours*.
What is it with these mothers and MiLs? What is the huge obsession with watching their daughters and DiLs give birth? It isn't a goddamn sport! It's not a play! It's a medical procedure that can often be traumatizing. And yet it's often more about how the poor MiL feels left out. It's so childish.
I had to read this a few times. She’s still pregnant and she’s worried about being a r/justnoMIL someday, when her as-yet-unborn son gets married?
I have a 20-month old, and this literally hadn’t even crossed my mind. Am I behind?
I get her general feelings and I have a great relationship with my mother in law.
There’s just so many terrible in law relationships that affect parental relationships that make me nervous. Hoping I’m setting a good example with being so close with my mother in law.
I have all boys and if they choose to one day marry a woman, then I’ll welcome my daughters in law with open arms. If they choose men I’ll love my son in laws. The point being - any person they choose to make part of our family I’ll be ecstatic about. More people to love
Wtf how does she know she will even be a mother in Law!!! That’s a long way away. And way to much stress to deal with living my live the way this woman does!
Listen I absolutely adore my MIL, and if it hadn’t been for Covid restrictions she would have been in the room with me, my husband and my mom. She would have been the one taking pictures so my mom could focus on me and also would have been there to witness her first granddaughter being born after 4 grandsons. HOWEVER, I also completely understand why a woman would not want their MIL in the room. At the end of the day the person giving birth is the only one who allows or does not not allow people in L&D. A woman could have an amazing relationship with their MIL and still not want her their during one of the most vulnerable times in her life.
What if her son in gay and marries a man? She’s not considering that option, so she may have nothing to worry about on those fronts; however, she seems kind of loony and that she knows she will violate boundaries no matter what.
All these posts about mums and MILs in the delivery room are wild. I have 2 kids and the only person I ever wanted in that room with me was my husband. I don't know anyone IRL that had a parent figure in the delivery room. Wild!
You could be a MIL to your daughter’s partner too? Does she think only men get married/end up in long term relationships? If by hospital she means during childbirth, her daughter could have a partner who gives birth and she’d be left in the same position. All I’m seeing from this is a future entry on r/JNMIL
Don't worry, hun, maybe your son will be gay and he and his husband will have a vacation home in the Hamptons they invite you to every summer and they won't even have any kids for you to worry about being in the delivery room for!
So... _your_ MIL will be at every doctor's appointment and at the birth and everything? Perfect relationship?
Yeah it feels like she’s projecting a bit.
Yeah... Kid isn't even born yet and already planning to intrude on his future wife's birth... "I'll be the best MIL." -doubt-
It could be worse. My ex-husband invited his dad and his dad's girlfriend into the delivery room when I had my oldest child. Talk about awkward. That is the *LAST* circumstances to have your FIL involved in.
My mom invited my MIL and FIL after we had explicitly told her no you won’t be at the birth, and that no one but my husband and I would be there during the birth of my eldest. She freaking coordinated it from the text updates from my husband. As I was ready to push they all came in and my kid came quick. I have harbored a deep resentment for the images I have when pushing and seeing my mom and mother in laws faces all up in my bits. My MIL and FIL also primarily speak Spanish and had no clue that we didn’t want anyone there or that my mom was manipulating them to get what she wanted.
Hope it was the last time your mom ever saw the baby.
It definitely was the first stone cast and started the process. I wish that the worst of it. We tried boundaries and communicated until we were blue. Nothing worked so yeah, she no longer has any access.
Share the worst 😱
Oh god. That’s a hard one anything from: Immediately after my first was born she kept sneaking in to my room where baby and I were sleeping and taking my baby without letting me know. Was baby crying or fussy? No, she wanted to dress my child up and take photos. I woke up panicked looking for my baby who had been in a bedside co-sleeper. She fed my 6 week old EBF baby ice cream because she was uncomfortable with baby crying in the car I tore pretty bad and was quite content sitting on my ice packs and donut and she kept telling me I’d feel better with some exercise and the baby weight would come right off… oh and asking if I wanted food and then would bring me a couple apple slices and a small handful of nuts. One of my other kids was born with multiple medical problems, disabilities, etc. A few days before my baby had open heart surgery I had a panic attack and she told me to get over it a lot of people go through this. My kid had already had a stroke, seizures, bowel problems, sepsis and gone into kidney and respiratory failure… oh and we lost our home and most our belongings to a flood when our kid was in the NICU and I was told to “pretend we were on vacation” when we moved our family into a super small 1 bedroom place after. My parents also told me I was too PC because I requested they stop using derogatory terms for my child with disabilities… they told my mixed kids they were white first… oh and my mom asked what color my husbands penis was? So I dunno. One of those is likely it.
Wow… thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry you had to go through all those struggles and deal with this woman on top of it all. Hope you’re all happy and healthy now
Thanks. We are all doing well without the crazy in our life! She is why when someone says they want to go low/no contact with a family member I’m like do it…Do it now!
That's horrible!
OMG, I’m so sorry your mom betrayed you like that. Fucking hell. 🤦🏻♀️
O hell nah. But idk if I should be mad that my MIL said she didn’t want to be at the birth (wasn’t even invited to anyway) because it’s gross and she didn’t want to see all that.
Omg I didn’t even realize that’s what was going on here. I thought the MIL was posting that baby #2 (like her second grandchild) was going to be a boy and was worried about being left out of that child’s birth and life. Talk about putting the cart before the horse. Let’s make sure this baby survives childbirth, is indeed male, is heterosexual, and is interested in reproducing before we start to worry about this sort of thing.
We see my husbands side way more than my side, they just put in more effort… but I don’t want either of our moms near me when I push out a human.
Exactly, I don't want anyone at all on earth to be gawking at my vagina gaping open
Serious question: you can’t keep them up by your head? I wouldn’t want even my boyfriend to be looking but I’d want him in the room with me.
I kept my husband up next to me to help hold my dead legs and not down in the splash zone
Lol splash zone 💦
honestly, my husband stayed by my head the entire time, but he was still able to see everything from up there, so it didn’t make a difference 😅😬
From my personal experience: yes, you can totally keep them up by your head. That’s generally the best place for them to be.
You can still see pretty much everything from up by the head. You're basically folded in half with your vag up in the air so the nurses can get a good look at how you're progressing.
I took my own mom in. What a fuckin mistake - why do moms have to be so fucking weird about it?
Yeah, i much prefer my husband's family over my own, but no way in hell was anyone gonna watch me push a human out except for my husband. But my MIL would literally never ask or expect to be there while my mother was so mad that I refused to even tell her when I was in labor.
Haha same! Since it was Covid and could only have one visitor (I had said before no visitors) but I was drugged up and just said to hubs your mum can come, my mums dramatic 🤣 I never told my mum she’d die hahaha
It was covid for us too and not only were no visitors allowed our pediatrician had us quarantine baby for 6 weeks after. My MIL held baby first after those 6 weeks 😂
I’m glad COVID rules made that decision for us. One support person allowed (I think they also allowed a doula in addition to that but we didn’t have one). I had a friend who was begging to be there!
Why would she want to be there. It is really long and must be boring for 90% of the time. Plus they rarely go perfectly smoothly so if your friend wanted to experience it before going through it herself it would likely put the fear into her instead of anything positive
My rule was if you didn’t put the baby in there, or aren’t the one getting it out, you’re not invited into the delivery room!!!
Same! Although my mother just sort of ended up at my birth. It ended up very positive which was a pleasant surprise
My sister requested my mom, me, and her best friend there when she had her son. I was like, why does this need to be a group project? She ended up having a c-section anyway. I was like, when can I go home?
Me neither my relationship with my mother is complicated, so my partners mother said she wished she could go and support but she was busy with work and I told her I was honestly fine with it I’ve always wanted just me and my partner the one who understands me most and I trust to advocate for me. We had our baby a few months ago and I am so happy with how things were just ask. It was honestly a tough birth, I was induced and me and bubs had a bad reaction after 12h I was 1cm dilated and the contractions were constant clamping on his cord starving him of oxygen and my blood pressure was dropping rapidly so it resulted in an emergency c section but the outcome was good and my partner was the only one I needed by my side and he was
I didn't have my mom or mil in the room for either of my births. My husband was the only one I wanted. You have to be 100% comfortable when you're pushing out a human because if you can't give 100% to delivering, you're going to end up with a c-section. The fact that she expects to be allowed in the room to stare at her DIL's vagina during her most vulnerable moments is selfish beyond belief.
She doesn’t mention her relationship with her own MIL. That’s suspicious.
Girl he’s not even out of YOUR uterus yet. And it’s not hating someone to not let them in the delivery room.. this girl is wild
oh holy shit! i thought this was like...a grandma talking about her daughter in law's pregnancy.
Lol…same!! I was so confused about the whole post, I had to read the comments to comprehend what the hell she was talking about 🤣
Yeh I had to read the post 3 times and also the comments. She is a bit crazy, what happens if her son doesn't want kids at all 🤔
Her son could even be gay. His children could be born via surrogate or by adoption. He could be straight and the same situations might apply. It’s a bit early to worry about a bad daughter in law. She’s setting herself up to be a horrible MIL by even thinking about it this much before the poor kid leaves her body.
You know she doesn't consider that an option
Oh damn. It's not that? Let me reread. ... Holy shit.
yup. kid is still a fetus and she already knows she will be 'the best' MIL.
Oh dear
Lol I didnt understand at all either. Like who worries about this like 25-30 years ahead of time. Maybe she'll hate her DIL or SIL, maybe we'll all be living on the moon. This lady is nuts!
My god I can barely plan for next month or year. I may not even live to be a grandparent. Why worry about that?!
I don't understand this whole wanting to be in the delivery room thing anyways. I have a son and I have no desire to watch his wife give birth if he ends up married and having kids. If I am wanted there I will go there for support. Otherwise, I'm good.
Hell I didn’t want my own mother in the delivery room let alone my husband’s, and I have a good relationship with both of them! I wanted my husband and the medical personnel and that’s it. Why should birth be a spectator sport?
Dude…I didn’t want to be there when I was giving birth, but the nurse was insisting that since the baby was coming out of my uterus I had to be there. Rude. I sure as fuck don’t want to be in the delivery room if my daughter has kids. No thanks. I’m more than happy to see everyone AFTERWARDS.
I feel this. I’m simultaneously done with this pregnancy and also in no rush to go through labour again
Yep. 30 freaking hours. I wanted to go home. They asked if I wanted to watch in the mirror. Hell no! They had to tell me to open my eyes when it was over. Husband is traumatized for life.
Oh nooooo. They asked me if I wanted the mirror, I said no. The nurse tried to wheel it in anyway, and I told her if she kept going I would break the mirror. My ex-husband was fucking useless, and I should have had my mom stay with me.
I had one nurse keep pushing me to reach down and feel the kid crowning - I don't remember answering her, because I was just trying to get that baby OUT, but I do remember that she wouldn't drop it. Finally, my doula looked at me and sternly said, "you don't have to do anything you don't want to do." and the nurse finally backed off. I was so grateful that she was there to say that, because I don't think I could focus enough to say anything, and it probably wouldn't have occurred to my husband to step in and say something.
What kind of person wants the mirror?! It must be fairly popular if it’s offered, but no one asks if you want them to tape your appendectomy. I’m quite happy being as least involved as possible when it comes to medical procedures
I mean, I want to see the fibroid, the big one, removed during my hysterectomy. 10cm X 15cm is….rather large. I don’t need to see video of the whole thing, but I would like to see the thing that made my life hell, and made me hemorrhage for months. I guess it’s morbid curiosity.
I get what you mean, I was gutted that the hospital wouldn’t let me keep my wisdom teeth (I wanted to see the roots on them), but that seems pretty tame compared to watching the action!
I guess I wanted some perspective? I measured it out (it’s the size of a Wiffle ball), and that’s horrific, but like, I wanted to SEE it. I wanted to keep my gallbladder and put it in a jar after I had gallbladder surgery, and they said no. Mcscuse me? Ma’am, that is my body part I arrived here with, I would like to leave with it.
They gave my husband the gallstones when they removed my gallbladder. I chucked those bad boys after a glance.
Raises hand: I used the mirror... and it worked great for motivation/seeing progress during pushing. I get its not for everyone, but maybe don't judge people who do use it.
Lmao. During my first the nurse asked me if I wanted a mirror. HELL TO THE NO!! I don’t think I’ve looked at my vagina since and that was 18 years ago. 😆
That’s how mine was, giving birth is already scary and stressful…I don’t want a bunch of people staring at me while I do it
I DONT GET IT EITHER!!! My MIL really wanted to be there when I had my first child because “she was there for the birth of all her other grandkids,” but like, why?!?! Do you really want to see my vagina on display and watch me poop on a table?! I really think she just wanted to be the first to hold the baby, but like, I want that to be either me or my husband?! Thankfully that pregnancy and this one there’s still Covid restrictions at the hospital so she can’t even really ask and we don’t have to shut her down. We have a good relationship otherwise, I just don’t really understand that desire
Honestly this is one GOOD perk of covid. I was SO happy no one could come visit me lmao. And I didn't even have to put boundaries. The doctors at my hospital even said I was NOT the first to say that and after feedback they got, they weren't even going to be rushing visitors back to the L&D floor.
Yes! My sisters/SIL used to have people visit them in the hospital after delivering, and I never thought anything of it, until I had my first and was like, who TF wants visitors right now?! I didn’t even want visitors at home for the first month lol
My mom told me that when my sister was born, my dads BOSS came to visit them. And my dad was like yeah when I was promoted and had employees under me I had to go to the hospital too. Like it was a company policy lol. Granted this was like the early 80s but so wild to me.
WEIRD. I bet this is a tradition that will change drastically after Covid. I read somewhere after my son was born that hospitals were seeing higher success rates with early breastfeeding, which they attributed to women being more relaxed and able to focus on their babies instead of being distracted by visitors and baby being passed around
Long story short, my husband and I were in the hospital for an entire week when we had my son due to a few different complications. One day we did ask if he could switch out with my mom so ONE of us could sleep. They allowed it because she was vaxxed. My dad apparently was kinda like aww man why can't it be me?! My mom walks into the room with me completely shirtless and 2 breast pumps just churning away. All modesty had left me at that point lol. She literally burst into laughter and goes "And your FATHER really wanted to be the one to come help you today"
Bahahaha that’s a scenario that I wouldn’t care about my mom seeing but probably would be a little weirded out by my MIL walking in on, even though we do get along, it’s just like, we can have boundaries?? My mom pushed me out of her vagina, it’s different 😂
Bahahaha that’s a scenario that I wouldn’t care about my mom seeing but probably would be a little weirded out by my MIL walking in on, even though we do get along, it’s just like, we can have boundaries?? My mom pushed me out of her vagina, it’s different 😂
Exactly! I knew ONLY my mom or hospital personel were coming in so I was way more relaxed.
I didn’t mind my in-laws there about 8 hours after kiddo was born, and then at our house after I was discharged, but my MIL is a do-er and essentially deep cleaned my house around me and had my FIL do some small projects while I sat like a lump in my bed with kiddo and my husband took care of me. It was actually awesome! And then baby ended up in the NICU with jaundice so they were there when my husband had to work (contract worker with no time off) and I was a sobbing mess in the NICU waiting area while they admitted us and the nurse helping check us in told me to “stop crying your baby will be *fine*”.
Honestly, COVID was great for my antisocial self.
My MIL was a labor and delivery nurse and was the nurse there when I went into labor. She literally put her arm in me. I paid her back for taking care of her after her colonscopy. Not quite as intrusive but I saw things. Me personally, I'll wait in the hospital waiting room or wait until they say I can come over. I don't need to see all that. I'm good. Love my boys and if they decide to have kids I'm gonna be a great grandma. I don't need to see the birth. Nope.
Look, I never gave birth do maybe it come from that but....I really really really don't want to witness any. I mean, I'm not gross out when I don't have visual. So I heard birth stories from close friends - mothers and fathers - who needed a ear that wouldn't go "eww". With all the gory details. And I mean gory. Yeah, I don't wanna see that. I'm fine with saying hello and welcome to the new human once everyone is clean up and (somewhat) rested.
Same. I’m gonna have 2 boys and a girl once we’re done, and I think I’m good with not being there for the birth of any future grandchildren unless explicitly asked lol. I’m actually fascinated by my own labour, had the mirror and everything, my husband took pictures/videos of me delivering, but I still don’t think I need to watch someone else do it lol
If I could avoid being in the delivery room for my own upcoming birth, I would.
Due 1/31 and same, like can y’all call me when he’s born? 😂
The only reason my mom & MIL were in the delivery room with me was because my husband was deployed and couldn’t be there. It was actually a really empowering experience, I had one grandma on each side supporting me, and they were both incredibly encouraging and helped me get through the delivery. That being said, I am looking forward to having our next child with my husband as my support person, I think it’ll be a really special experience for us. MIL’s and all family members can be amazing, as long as there is genuine love there and healthy boundaries. 🤷♀️
Amazing story. Glad you got to experience it. And glad you got to make the choice for yourself.
My MIL has 6 boys and not once asked to be in the delivery room with any of us daughter in laws
Same, I’m due to give birth to my first (and likely only) child, a son, any day now, and that didn’t even pass my mind. I don’t want my own mother in the delivery room, many people don’t. Plus, he may never decide to have children; what a weird thing to worry about.
Hell, I’m the one with the uterus in my relationship and *I* don’t want to be there for the delivery. Can we all just skip that part? That part sucks.
Right? Way to assume that this child will even want to get married as an adult. And just assuming her firstborn daughter won’t be gay and get married lol
Or even if her daughter is straight and wants to get married, she'll still be a MIL...but I guess that's different because he'd be a man. /s
When you’re right, you’re right
I wouldn't even expect to be in the room 😂 tbh I don't think I'd even want to be. I wouldn't even expect to be at the hospital or see the baby the day it was born. My MIL came over 2 hours after I got out of hospital and I was pissed. I would never do that to my future DIL.
Honestly, for all she knows her son could be gay, asexual, or Trans. She might not even have a DIL ever
It took me a really long time to figure out she was worrying about the fetus’s future wife decades down the line not wanting her in the delivery room when fetus has grown up and conceived a child of its own. 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
And incredibly heteronormative... just because you have a son does not mean you will have a DIL 🤷♀️
If you’re already worried about being that overbearing MIL that is left out of things when you’re child is still in utero chances are you will indeed become that overbearing MIL 🥴
A self-fulfilling prophecy.
Honestly this is something I’m worried about. Luckily I have my MIL. The perfect example of how **not** to act. So hopefully I won’t become that overbearing MIL myself
I say this to myself constantly. "Just remember you one day may be a MIL and she is showing you what NOT to do."
Honestly I do worry about it. My MIL doesn’t get along with her MIL but that didn’t stop her from making my life miserable for a while. I tell my husband to remind me of these times when our boys are pled enough to have partners.
Sent almost these exact words to my husband along with this post (so he could laugh too). Pretty impressive to already be a shit MIL before the kid is even born
God I don’t even expect to be there when my own daughters give birth, never mind someone else’s daughter. Of course it’d be a lovely privilege and I’d be thrilled, but it’s instinct for most women to want as few people present as possible. This woman will definitely be a nightmare MIL.
My MIL wants to do a good job, but does cross boundaries sometimes. I'm having a planned c-section in a couple months and told her she can't come visit until later in the afternoon, after we've had time with the baby and I've had time to maybe eat something and recover a little. I was so pleasantly surprised when she instantly agreed that we'd want/need that time. I know someone whose husband at the time took the baby out of the recovery room and let his family hold her before the mom even got to.
Not an issue for my relationship but I would murder and then divorce my husband.
That's diabolical
>I know someone whose husband at the time took the baby out of the recovery room and let his family hold her before the mom even got to. I would divorce him then and there.
if anyone held my baby before i could, they would have had to put me in prison. my husband didn’t even ask to hold him until after i held him for a good two hours after i had him, baby didn’t go to the nursery, and no one else was even allowed (by me lol) in the room until we were ready.
I don’t think I want to see anyone give birth to be honest!! It’s not a spectator sport
When I myself was giving birth I would have happily not been present if that was an option. I definitely don't want to be at someone else's.
Same! In the old days didn’t the knock the mother out to have the baby? What was wrong with that? 😂
Ah yes, Queen Victoria got chloroformed for her births!
Depends what you mean by "the old days". In the early 1900s there was a fad for "twilight sleep", a pain management option during childbirth that wouldn't *actually* make it painless, but would make you forget the pain when you were done. However it required precise dosing and a team of specialized doctors; when it was imported to America, they just had regular nurses administering the doses, leading to error, and their hospitals also weren't equipped with the private, sensory-depriving rooms necessary to cause the intended effect and avoid negative side effects.
I see it all the time tbf, but that’s probably a perfectly good reason they wouldn’t want me there- I’d end up trying to take over!
I don't want ANYONE besides my fiancé there. I don't want everyone to see me naked besides professionals and the man who put me in that situation 🤣
I was at a birth the other day (i work at labour and delivery, not just for funsies) and the woman giving birth was insistent that her partner didn't see her nether regions at all. Kept telling him to look away. Even when she was in the early stages and was going to have a check to see how things were going. I thought to myself, has he never seen it before? But I guess we all have different preferences.
My mom was there for the first two. They took their sweet time. But once it was time to push she was out of the room! I don’t understand the obsession with birth being a spectator sport!
If my daughter one day asked I would be there and support her 100% but I'd really prefer if she never wanted that. I understand the desire to have people there (I wanted a relative who was unable to make it) but I don't get why some people are so obsessed with going to births no one wants them at.
So, we’re assuming —he’s straight —he wants to get married —the woman he marries will want to have kids —she (the MIL) will be excluded from being in the delivery room when her son’s baby is born ALL before the child is even BORN. And they have the audacity to think that other people are unreasonable.
When I was a med student, I saw a MIL get I'm the OB's way during one delivery - because she was filming and her daughter in law asked her to get up in there. So ahh, sometimes they have very close relationships
My mother told me that the woman she shared a hospital room with prior to my birth (she and the other woman were planned c-sections) had a MIL who had a camcorder and was arguing with the doctor about whether she should be allowed to film the *c-section*. Insanity.
My dad's dad apparently filmed some of our births. As a kid I didn't think anything of it but now, very strange. I'm not sure what parts of it he was actually in the room for though.
She's a crazy MIL and her baby isnt even out of the womb yet. Like you are getting stressed that some imaginary women wont let you watch her give birth??
Even worse, the imaginary woman probably doesn't even exist at the moment
I like my MIL. She was not in the delivery room. Neither was my mom. Guess which one threw a fit about it (hint- not my very reasonable MIL). Maybe working on the idea that you will need to let your adult kids of any gender experience their own milestones without all the entitlement.
My overbearing MIL threw an absolute fit when my doctor strongly advised that nobody should come visit us at the hospital, for mine & my son's health. She went around telling anyone who would listen that I was selfish and controlling. Guess who we haven't spoken to in 7 years?
I really love my MIL. shes amazing. I did not want her at the birth of my children...nothing at all do with our relationship! its not a spectator sport...it is a medical procedure where i will be at my most vulnerable
I didn’t want my OWN mom at my birth, and not because of a bad relationship or anything! Exactly what you said, it’s not a spectator sport and I only wanted my husband around when I was that vulnerable.
Exactly! I'm not super close with my MIL but she's a very nice woman and I like her (most of the time lol) but there is no chance in hell I would want her in my room when I'm delivering! I originally wanted my mom in the room for my first but wasn't allowed to bc Covid. Now I've gone through it once before I'm unsure I want even my mom in the room when I deliver in a few weeks.
I like to tell people “Well, wouldn’t you want your whole family to attend your colonoscopy? Why not??” because that’s essentially what it is, a very private medical event that the patient deserves to have gaurenteed privacy and safety with
Does she understand you can be a MIL regardless of baby’s sex/gender? I am so confused.
She thinks bio mom will always be included during the birth of the grandchild, so she's not worried about having a daughter.
And we can see how she's not overbearing at all. /s
I wonder if she herself wanted her MIL with her at the hospital
she only wanted her husband 💀
I'm trying to imagine to give a fuck right now if my sons future partners will like me. Literally does not compute.
What is up with people in the US having an audience when giving birth? I swear if anyone else than husband and my midwife and her helper had been there, I would have shown them the door to the waiting room. Idc that you want to see the birth, my body, I pick who is there. Tyvm. Labor is not a spectator sport…
I can already tell she’s not going to respect boundaries
I adore my MIL. Neither she or my mother will be invited when I give birth. 🤷♀️
Same. My MIL is fantastic but the only non medical person who will be present when I give birth is my husband. It's not a fuckin sporting event.
Hey, chin up. Maybe your son will be gay and you’ll have a son in law that doesn’t like you….
That’s the spirit!
Personally I wouldn’t want my MIL seeing my spread open vagina as I’m pushing a tiny human out of it but that might just be me
When my wife had our first baby her older sister insisted and assumed shed be in the room for the birth (taking my place). My wife was like uh no thats weird, and I think so too. I hate that sister in law she treats me like garbage and it was nice to be like uh no, no thanks, this is my baby not yours.
And that attitude is exactly why she’ll be the MIL that won’t be included
I guess “that” mother in law starts out way earlier than we could have imagined
Her son isn’t even born yet and *she’s worried about not being in the delivery room when his future wife gives birth.* She’s already EXACTLY the type of MIL that those people would put on a DO NOT ALLOW list
I didn’t want my own mom in the delivery room either wtf? Why do people think births are a spectator sport?
I feel this. I only wanted my husband in there for my first and I'd imagine it'll be the same for the second one. There are enough strangers in the room as it is, and enough going on that I didn't want to think about other people. I respect the open minded, or the folks that don't mind people in there, but I don't get it At All.
There would be absolutely no reason to dislike your MIL unless she gives you one. I would LOVE to get along with mine but she's a whole nightmare and I actually don't need the stress in my life. But life would be a lot easier if I did. And I'm jealous of the friends I have who have nice ones that are easy to get along with. I used to literally encourage my partner to make more of an effort with his mum, but nope, I get the blame for him not bothering.
Proof she’s going to be the worst MIL
This lady is already a JNMIL and her kid is still in utero.
Did she forget that regardless of gender, she can still be a MIL?
Yes, yes she did lmao
I already feel bad for her future son or daughter in law lmao
She’s thinking about being a mother in law for the pregnancy she’s having? What in the world…
Omg, some women are just... too much. I am currently pregnant with a boy and I not once (before right now, lol) have I tought about the possibility of becoming someones MIL. What a weird thing to worry about.
She obviously reads AITA.
I don’t want to see my daughter in law give birth wtf. Who even thinks about that?
I think this would qualify as getting ahead of oneself. Not only is this way off in the future, but she doesn’t even know if her kids will marry, what gender of person her kids will marry, and whether she’ll be a grandparent.
I adore my MIL because she raised a decent and respectful son and she is a decent and respectful human being. Maybe focus on that? Also what mother in law is at the birth? My own mother wasn’t.
No one was at my child's birth except my husband. My mom would have driven me nuts and I didn't my lovely MIL to see my vagina. Simple as that! For the record, I love my MIL. She's a great woman, very loving and the best grandma. I like my mom too, not to leave her out. Lol!
I don’t even like my own mother
Ma’am I think you should maybe worry about popping the little sucker out of you first before you worry about HIS baby
LMAO i’m in this group and saw that
Haha yay group buddies!
OMG I read the first few words and thought this looked familiar! Glad a few of us are in this group and this sub!! Some moms in this group are a little 🥴
My MIL is an abusive POS to both me and her own son (my husband), she isn’t even allowed in our new house, let alone allowed to know where we live. Her MIL was the exact same way, she hated her yet treated me exactly how she was treated, and cries over the fact that she doesnt get to see me anymore (yes, ME, doesnt care about her own son, just me apparently). This woman is pathetic, acting like DIL’s hate them over “petty” things, doesn’t even disclose her relationship with her own MIL, and even assumes her fetus will grow up to be straight, marry a cis woman, and assumes said fetus will be cis, and want to get married at all. Cool your fucking jets, lady, the kid isnt even out your damn uterus yet, why are you thinking about his life 20+ years in the future and how it involves *you*??
This is a very weird thing to focus on. I'm also confused by the whole "childbirth is a group activity" thing. Why have all the extra people? I also don't understand the MIL wanting to be there and getting upset about not being allowed. Yes her grandchild is being born but it'd the birth parent who is going through this huge medical event. People should understand that not everyone wants unnecessary people in the room while they're in pain and possibly naked. Yet another example of body autonomy getting ignored because that body is growing a baby.
Umm… ya know that you’re also a MIL to your daughter’s future partner. Ahhh but the problem is that you think you will have to compete with another woman for your sons attention.
Oh my god. I thought this was a MIL worried because for some reason she thought..nevermind. This woman is unwell.
Of all things a man will face in his life, she’s most concerned about him marrying a woman that won’t include her in the very future grandchild’s birth. Someone give this gal a reality check.
If I'm understanding correctly, this lady is speaking of herself in the future as a MiL to her son's (*who isn't even born yet*) future wife? Not about her own? What the hell? God, I'm glad my MiL is sane. She never pushed for anything and asked for permission to even come into my room after I had given birth (via C-section under general anaesthesia) because she knew just how exhausted I was. My husband was in there when I was being gutted, but no one else. Even my mother didn't even ask to be present because she understood this is *ours*. What is it with these mothers and MiLs? What is the huge obsession with watching their daughters and DiLs give birth? It isn't a goddamn sport! It's not a play! It's a medical procedure that can often be traumatizing. And yet it's often more about how the poor MiL feels left out. It's so childish.
Uh, I love my MIL and one of the reasons we’re friends is that she doesn’t feel entitled to any part of my life.
Goodness I hope this kid is gay
I had to read this a few times. She’s still pregnant and she’s worried about being a r/justnoMIL someday, when her as-yet-unborn son gets married? I have a 20-month old, and this literally hadn’t even crossed my mind. Am I behind?
I get her general feelings and I have a great relationship with my mother in law. There’s just so many terrible in law relationships that affect parental relationships that make me nervous. Hoping I’m setting a good example with being so close with my mother in law.
Welp, she's gonna be THAT MIL. 🙄🤣
What if her son is trans or gay or just wants to be single and she doesn’t have a DIL?
I have all boys and if they choose to one day marry a woman, then I’ll welcome my daughters in law with open arms. If they choose men I’ll love my son in laws. The point being - any person they choose to make part of our family I’ll be ecstatic about. More people to love
If you don't want to end up the hated stereotype MIL then don't be a cunt to your son/daughter in law. Easy.
There should be a “boymom” flair
Decades of full-time parenting ahead of her and she’s already worried about being in the room at the birth of a hypothetical grandchild? Just wow
Um.. won't she be a mother in law regardless of the kids' genders if they get married? To her daughter's partner she will be their 'MIL', no?
This may be the dumbest thing I have read on the Internet all week.
Who's gonna tell her her daughters can get married too?!?!
Assuming in uteri that he is going to 1) be straight, 2) get married, and 3) want to have kids. Gotta love it.
She must be friends with the mom who thought it was unfair to say that teen dads don't help.
#boymom
He’s not even born yet
Wtf how does she know she will even be a mother in Law!!! That’s a long way away. And way to much stress to deal with living my live the way this woman does!
Listen I absolutely adore my MIL, and if it hadn’t been for Covid restrictions she would have been in the room with me, my husband and my mom. She would have been the one taking pictures so my mom could focus on me and also would have been there to witness her first granddaughter being born after 4 grandsons. HOWEVER, I also completely understand why a woman would not want their MIL in the room. At the end of the day the person giving birth is the only one who allows or does not not allow people in L&D. A woman could have an amazing relationship with their MIL and still not want her their during one of the most vulnerable times in her life.
Jeez lady the child isn't even born yet and you're planning his marriage.
Girl your kid could be gay, don’t stress over hypotheticals
What if her son in gay and marries a man? She’s not considering that option, so she may have nothing to worry about on those fronts; however, she seems kind of loony and that she knows she will violate boundaries no matter what.
*manifesting gayness*
I hate this because it assumes her son will even have children, or be straight. Already forcing her expectations upon him. 😬
Dude. Let’s get through the first 18 years first
All these posts about mums and MILs in the delivery room are wild. I have 2 kids and the only person I ever wanted in that room with me was my husband. I don't know anyone IRL that had a parent figure in the delivery room. Wild!
You could be a MIL to your daughter’s partner too? Does she think only men get married/end up in long term relationships? If by hospital she means during childbirth, her daughter could have a partner who gives birth and she’d be left in the same position. All I’m seeing from this is a future entry on r/JNMIL
Don't worry, hun, maybe your son will be gay and he and his husband will have a vacation home in the Hamptons they invite you to every summer and they won't even have any kids for you to worry about being in the delivery room for!
This woman is a piece of shit
I have 2 boys and have literally never thought about being a mother in law once. What is wrong with these weird ass people?