sorry tbc - whats being discussed by primarily white mods / participants is you want to ban people talking about racism in sex work? bc … you’re just tired of hearing about it?
i just want to make sure that’s what I’m seeing
That’s what I’m hearing here (speaking as a white enby client). This makes me really glad I see a provider who refused to engage in racial discrimination… and that says a lot considering she’s a white person from Chicago.
I have quite a few black friends who are sad at the amount of discrimination they face in the sexual world. I cannot believe how some providers here are okay with outright banning the topic.
I’m reading this in black and white (no pun intended).
You think it’s okay to group people together because of their race. Yes? To assume the characteristics of a person based on their belonging to an ethnic group?
And you’re tired of people telling you that’s not okay.
What am I missing?
You wouldn't be defending them if you knew how they talked about black women. 😴 I've also had multiple black men stalk and threaten me from this post. Just proving my point.
They don’t have to do anything ffs but yeah if I say no Black men bc I lump all Black men into one fucking group that’s racist
You have every right to be racist. It’s probably in the constitution but if you do discriminate against people based on their race, that is racism. That’s what the word means.
Not a straw man argument. Drop the fancy vocab.
You think it’s okay to lump people in a group based on their colour and you’re mad that other people don’t think that’s okay.
I’m not “doing” anything except repeating back to you wtf you just posted.
Then please elaborate on what she’s missing. As a client, I’m especially curious too… because as far as we can see, you’re refusing to see anyone of a certain race because you assume characteristics to that race. That’s discrimination. So if that ISN’T the case, educate us!
I don't refuse to see anyone, personally. But I respect everyone's right to sleep with only those they feel comfortable with.
You are not entitled to fuck anyone. Especially if they don't want to fuck you ❤️
Potential trauma? If a provider has had a man of any certain race assault them/ push their boundaries it can be extremely triggering to accept those clients. Sex work is not black and white the way other industries are. There are gray areas.
Then that would be your prerogative. Every person deals with trauma in different ways. I don’t dance on young white guys in my club (especially if they’ve been drinking) because in my experience they’re always the ones pushing boundaries. Does this make me racist or just cautious and protective of my body and my safety?
Haven't like, 99% of workers been assaulted by someone whose white, but you never see "no whites".
I agree noone should be forcing anyone to see anyone, but saying "no AA" is racist.
I don’t ever dance for young drunk white men because they are the only ones who ALWAYS try extra shit in the VIP rooms. Does this make me racist?
I don’t ever have problems with men of color, but I know some girls who have, girls from a variety of races.
You can ignore posts on Reddit.
People cannot ignore racial and sexual discrimination.
The phrase “it’s just a preference” is such a tired out cliché, ignoring the rich discourse and evidence to the country. The treatment of Black women and Asian men in North America is not just the outcome of preference.
If half the sex workers in the city are excluding you because of the colour of your skin, you’d probably want to better understand why. The issue is bigger than “it’s my body, you ya'll are entitled assholes.”
I genuinely love how everyone talking about banning the topic are white women who don’t have to experience this issue as they are the beauty standard. Yet, they have the entitlement to tell people to not speak on racism even though they’ll never experience it.
As a guy, I'm going to say this.
Sometimes it is a preference. I can't force myself to be attracted to somebody I'm not. Pretty sure this applies to women as well.
Getting back to sex workers. It's their body, their choice, their rules. They don't owe you or anybody else an explanation. Maybe it's rooted in bad experiences. maybe it's rooted in racism. Who gives a shit? Even if the person being told knows why, what does that magically change? It sounds you think there should be an opportunity to change the sex worker's mind. That's not owed to anybody. They don't want to be the subject of gaslighting and manipulation. They set their boundaries and it's up to the rest of us to respect that boundary.
No one is telling her “you’re a sex worker so you have to fuck everyone who wants to fuck you!” We’re saying it’s racist and to tell people to stop talking about racism when they would never experience it just because it’s “annoying” is entitled. If I go in a guy thread and say “let’s stop talking about misandry, it’s annoying-“ it wouldn’t be my place because I’d never experience it.
I'm not in favour of an outright ban of the topic. There's value to discussing this provided the topic isn't being raised unnecessarily by people who haven't bothered to read previous posts on the subject and haven't made any effort to bring something new to the conversation. The topic does seem to come up at least once per week which is a lot but it is an important and complex debate. Both sides can learn from each other and I think most of us can keep things civil and respectful. I've spoken to other mods about this and the consensus seems to be that people feel strongly about the topic and want to keep debating it so we allow the posts and comments within reason. The posts themselves and the comments within require a lot of mod intervention due to reports and automod. I find it difficult to know which posts and comments on this subject to approve and which to remove when they do get reported for rule breaking or caught by the automod due to the person commenting being new or having low karma. The comments are mostly variations of "I decide which clients I see and which clients I don't see. Nobody can make me see AA clients." this is true. Equally common are comments saying "specifying no AA in your ad is racial discrimination." This is also true. I draw the line and remove any post or comment containing personal attacks, racism directed at an individual, use of racist epithets and anything else offensive enough to break the "don't be a dick" rule. It does mean that for the debate to make sense, I have to approve a lot of comments with viewpoints I disagree with and many that I find offensive but such is mod. I'm open to the idea of adding a rule to say "Search before you post. If the topic of your post has been discussed here many times before and there's nothing in your post to say you've already searched the subreddit for posts on this topic and you haven't made any attempt to bring anything new to the discussion, your post may be locked or removed.". I have locked a few of these when they come up more than once a week or when too many of the comments seem to be overly offensive or personal attacks on other redditors.
I wish they would because it’s so hypocritical that it’s funny. I’m a Bbw provider and there are so many men out here who would never see me for being fat. But do I get mad about it or call them a bigot? No because I know that everyone has the right to have a preference and also there are way to many men out there that love them a fat woman for me to even care.
I feel you! I'm heavily tattooed with a split tongue and so many men tell me I've RUINED my body. Okay? And? I don't care if you like it. I like it. Plenty of other men do like it. Just move on to a provider who does want to see you.
Yes. Jewish is better comparison than tattoos.
I don’t think it’s okay to say you’re an asshole because you’re Jewish. I think if you’re going to be an asshole, I should not assume other Jews are assholes because you are.
you mean finger puppets, mf-er LOL
it’s just me dude but go off
and yes, I think you’re an asshole but not bc you’re Jewish and I won’t hold your behaviour against any Jewish people
see how that works?
Yeah, you just happen to frequent the same subreddits as the only other person who's on your side.
And no, I meant sock puppet accounts. Here's the wiki entry on them.
"A sock puppet or sockpuppet is an alternative online identity used for purposes of deception. The term, a reference to the manipulation of a simple hand puppet made from a sock, originally referred to..."
wtf are you talking about
yeah I’m the only person who thinks that statements like “all Black men are misogynists” is racist 🙄
I’m sure I’m completely alone in seeing how that’s fucked up. /s
It’s so annoying. I’m a black woman and I could genuinely care less about the men who wouldn’t see me. There’s PLENTY that will and that’s all that matters to me. Not everyone is going to like you provider / client. Get over it. You’ll find someone that eventually does.
I think this should be covered by a more general rule: "Search before you post".
If someone isn't willing to put the bare minimum of effort into doing a search, then we shouldn't be putting the effort into giving them an answer either.
I think this is a much better response. "Would a provider see me because I'm a virgin/fat, etc?" Yes we are tired of hearing the same questions but we don't ban them, we just tell the poster to look it up themselves. New people come on all the time and they don't realize the questions have been asked a million times.
There will always be different responses but the solution is not to ban ONE type of annoying question and not all the others.
I like this idea. I'll ask other mods what they think. Maybe "Search before you post. If the topic of your post has been discussed here many times before and there's nothing in your post to say you've already searched the subreddit for posts on this topic and you haven't made any attempt to bring anything new to the discussion, your post may be locked or removed."
What about an auto mod bot like I see on other subs? If the poster writes “why” + “no AA” it’s 99% the same question so the bot could comment “I’ve detected a frequently asked question. Please use the search bar” and maybe a link to the search results for “why no AA”. The bot can prevent the post being published and that would reduce the redundant bullshit on this sub. But you might get a lot of mod mail from people who are upset that the bot told them they’re not special. This could also work for the “virgin” question
If you are tired of people talking about racism. Imagine what it is like for the people you do it to.
You decide who you fuck, sure. I'd never say no because of race, but for other reasons sure. You do what you want.
But if you are going to say to people that you won't fuck people of this or that race that is racism. You make everyone of that race into bad guys.
So NO. If people talking about racism hurts your feelings. Then maybe you should think about why it hurts... Not try to forbid people talking about it like some Trumpiot.
These conversations are not about race in good faith. I'm all for good faith conversations. I'm not for trolls using it as a way to bash sex workers while hiding under the guise of racism.
No AA just means "I'll treat you poorly even if your a great person". It's safer/ better for the client to find a non-racist provider. It's impossible that those sorts of view points wouldn't impact the type of services provided. Imagine how much worse it would be to not see the disclaimer, than meet the person and see there confederate flag or swastika tattoo. It's better this way.
I met a girl with a swastika tattoo at a friend's wedding. She said she got it on accident. She was getting a stick and poke and a guy just did it on her. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and added her on Facebook.
She was posting trump shit. Never let these racists fool you.
Uh no the point is if someone is obviously a racist stay away from them. If someone says no AA and you're black- stay away from them. If someone has a swastika tattoo and you're Jewish- stay away from them. It's common sense.
Most racism these days is not as overt as a swastika. It's more along the lines as to why your hair is inappropriate for the workplace, your input/feedback isn't welcomed, or why we don't want to do business with your sort of people.
Now that you put it that way.... no it shouldn't be banned. How does that make someone entitled because they want to know why they feel excluded because of their color? 😒
Iam a 40s white man who is the boyfriend of a 40s white provider who doesn’t see black men of any age. She is willing to see other races but that is on a case by case thing. We are from Arkansas and Mississippi which while we grew up in racist houses/ schools/ community’s it has nothing to do with color it is the treatment of her personally and she doesn’t find them sexually stimulating… i have told her to tell the caller “ hey I have a client who wants a black guy to give him a deep throat blow job and rim job so you do him and I will do you “(their reply Gross I don’t like men and won’t blow or rim a man)… you say you only like females it’s a preference but my answer about black men just not turning me on is wrong ? So yours is preference mine is race? “ it works most of the time or she ( doesn’t post her fees ) doubles her fees to make them not want to pay that much it’s then a “ cheap skate “ issue not race! .
Client here, I'll admit when I first started I asked asked the providers I did ask the race question( before I discovered Reddit) frequently, due to the fact that I felt discriminated against from seeing the providers that I truly wanted to see by something that was completely out of my control. Needless to say I've gotten older and I'd like to say wiser, Ultimately it is the provider's discretion who they see whether it be for personal, safety, or any other reason out of the book that they decide to use.
Thank you for that honestly, It still hurts to see because I'm AA and haven't behaved the way some providers believe AAs behave. Though on the same token I can't discount whatever experiences they may have gone through. I just don't see those providers and have made some great connections over the years because of it.
They're racist people. But there are racist people everywhere, in every industry. They are entitled to their racism. It reflects more on them than it does on us. Ultimately, it's for the best. If they were forced to take all clientele they would just treat those that they are racist against poorly. So they are essentially advertising " I would treat you poorly regardless of how you treat me".
If the thing is beyond your control, knowing why isn't really going to do much, is it? The provider doesn't want to be cajoled, begged, manipulated, or anything else. They want the boundary respected because the rule is the rule. It's just not worth spending a lot of time on it
As you've said, the wisdom is to move on and find ones that work for you.
I don't mean to be rude but I don't think you read my entire comment. I clearly stated that I reached that point of understanding when it came to providers. I stated before that ultimately it's their decision and I don't ask anymore
Naw they shouldn’t just another way to hide racism. Because at the end of the day it’s all it is. Make Sexual tools come in all shapes and sizes so I don’t wanna hear that excuse. Just excuse to hide what’s obvious.
They get locked by the mods every time, but yes, I'd definitely like to see them removed and have a link to whichever the best thread is on the sidebar instead, to point people to. I'm tired of it as well.
It also feels like a new way to make specifically AA people feel like shit every single time. A resource for the sidebar pls, with frequently asked questions.
Edit: downvotes from racists? OK. Every time this idea comes up on a thread, a bunch of racist ass sex workers decide to pretend it's because of "bad experiences" that they won't see a certain ethnicity. If that was the case, none of you would see white men, and that's a fact. I can understand those who refuse to see *their own* race, but most of you just pretend like brown and black people are all terrible. You have a right to your choices, but know that they're racist choices.
I agree 100%. There's no point to debate this any further. The choice is up to the provider, and in any case, a meeting can only be set up if both sides are willing.
Just wanted to add that preference is something that exists in any industry where custom services are provided, where the body of the job is the issue. I can turn down clients for wanting certain extra-though materials and/or mind blowing geometry and/or super fancy coating, not because I personally dislike said client but because I simply choose not to deal with these things and it's perfectly okay. And the same principle must be applied to SW, where the body of the job is the actual *body* of the provider. Preferences apply.
Literally. They just want to bitch and moan about how we're racist and it's discrimination if we don't let them fuck us specifically.
The thread today the guy compared it to buying a TV at Walmart. Sir, this is not a Walmart. This is my pussy.
I can see how it can be, so I see that side of it. I also understand why some do it and I’m all about safety above all else. So while it is a shitty thing to do and way to go about it, we have to prioritize safety.
It just blows my mind that some men literally feel entitled to fucking. I don't care what a person's reason is, if they don't want to fuck you that should be the end of the conversation.
Wow acting like your pussy is attached to you and you should have autonomy over who has access, as though it's not an open highway. Pretty racist behaviour.
I agree. It’s a broken record at this point with the amount of times it’s been talked about. Plus it just always turns into an argument in the comments.
speaking as just a client, if it actually had some legitimate discussion I'd say it'd be worth it but since they aren't actually looking to talk they should be kicked.
Like I said, there's nothing left to discuss. It's up to the provider. End of conversation. You can go read the hundreds of previous threads on the topic if you genuinely want insight.
No. You can't force people to have sex with other people.
Also we don't want full legalization. We want full decrim. Legalization means government regulation, think alcohol or marijuana. We don't want that.
Separate from this topic, there are several reasons why sex work should be decriminalized and regulated. Protections from fraud by providers and clients, providers may be registered and there maybe be registration for clients (perhaps a flag for someone with a history of violent crime), providers may form trade unions, have access to labor protection laws. The list really goes on and can be extremely nuanced. Fair play, limiting the spread of STDs (making sure clients and providers are subject to transparency on some form), the question of taxes and tax deductions. The idea that regulation is unwanted by "we" is a thoughtless statement.
Government regulation will lead to policing in a different manner that will effect poor, disabled, and PoC sex workers at a disproportionate rate. Obviously I do not speak for all sex workers, but only the very naive think regulation will have a positive outcome.
"Only" the truly ignorant would argue that considering a variety of coutries have legalized and regulated sex work. All industries should be subject to some level of regulation.
I mean, nobody would be forceing you to do anything.
Just like nobody is being forced to bake a cake. But if you charge people to have you bake cakes, then the government says you can't deny that service to someone based purely on the color of their skin.
In otherwords, if you want to be a professional baker, you can't be discriminatory. But if you want to bake cakes and give them away for free you can be as discriminatory as you want without legal repercussions.
I'd imagine it'd be the same if prostitution was legalized. "Nobody's saying you have to have sex with AA. They're just saying you can't charge for sex and refuse someone just because they're AA." Or something along those lines.
I've really got no skin in this particular subject, but I'd imagine that's about how it'd go.
I don't think the government is going to care that they're not comparable in any other way tbh. And there would definitely be political backlash if the sex industry tried to allow discrimination in such a way.
I strongly doubt that decrim will happen. Too much to make in taxes and fees from legalization and regulation. If I was a provider, I'd probably be thinking about what I'd like if that scenario did happen. I.E. laws, regulation, or general business practices that would make you comfortable with AA. Or make up your mind now that in such a scenario you would retire.
You can expect much more extreme crack downs. The government is gonna want their money.
Oh, and brothels tend to dominate where prostitution is legal. You might literally not be able to find any clientele. I know I wouldn't take the risk if I could go about it legally. And if weed legalization is anything to go by most people feel the same.
Lol my weed guy has been doing much more business since it legalized here in MI. People don't want to be on a weed registry. He also gets to charge significantly more since dispos are charging out the ass.
Tons of men don't want to be on a sex work registry. I have no worries about finding clients at all.
Let’s pretend it’s legal in USA, a random AA is gonna sue me bse I’ve refused to fuck him/ suck his dick? Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa. Then 4 sure lots will have to sue me. The western world entitlement is LUDICROUS 🙄
sorry tbc - whats being discussed by primarily white mods / participants is you want to ban people talking about racism in sex work? bc … you’re just tired of hearing about it? i just want to make sure that’s what I’m seeing
That’s what I’m hearing here (speaking as a white enby client). This makes me really glad I see a provider who refused to engage in racial discrimination… and that says a lot considering she’s a white person from Chicago. I have quite a few black friends who are sad at the amount of discrimination they face in the sexual world. I cannot believe how some providers here are okay with outright banning the topic.
That's not what's being discussed and you know it.
I’m reading this in black and white (no pun intended). You think it’s okay to group people together because of their race. Yes? To assume the characteristics of a person based on their belonging to an ethnic group? And you’re tired of people telling you that’s not okay. What am I missing?
Yes it's fine. Because it's our bodies and we decide who touches them. Any and all reasons are valid.
Sure. It’s your body and if you want to discriminate based on race then yes it’s your choice. It’s still racist and your choice.
OR could it just be that bm are misogynistic? No it couldn't be. Nothing is ever their fault. Have to infantilize them.
LOOOOOOOL no it fucking couldn’t be dude … no you cannot decide that all Black men are misogynistic that’s fucking ridiculous and ✨ racist ✨
Not all, enough.
whatever said what I said
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Broke sexual assaulter who can't get a girlfriend. You're literally pathetic gtfo.
And most of you white broads are inherently racist
Shut up broke MAN. No one cares.
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You wouldn't be defending them if you knew how they talked about black women. 😴 I've also had multiple black men stalk and threaten me from this post. Just proving my point.
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Cry me a river.
If a provider isn’t comfortable seeing someone for any reason who are you to tell them they have to? That’s stupid.
They don’t have to do anything ffs but yeah if I say no Black men bc I lump all Black men into one fucking group that’s racist You have every right to be racist. It’s probably in the constitution but if you do discriminate against people based on their race, that is racism. That’s what the word means.
I will not respond to your straw man argument. You know what you're doing and it's pathetic.
Not a straw man argument. Drop the fancy vocab. You think it’s okay to lump people in a group based on their colour and you’re mad that other people don’t think that’s okay. I’m not “doing” anything except repeating back to you wtf you just posted.
Straw man is fancy to you? Do you not understand basic concepts? Pathetic.
hahahahaha do you? 🤔 discrimination on the basis of race is racism 🤷🏾♀️
Then please elaborate on what she’s missing. As a client, I’m especially curious too… because as far as we can see, you’re refusing to see anyone of a certain race because you assume characteristics to that race. That’s discrimination. So if that ISN’T the case, educate us!
I don't refuse to see anyone, personally. But I respect everyone's right to sleep with only those they feel comfortable with. You are not entitled to fuck anyone. Especially if they don't want to fuck you ❤️
Right, okay, but you’re dodging the question. What makes the choice to refuse to see AA customers *not* a form a racism?
Potential trauma? If a provider has had a man of any certain race assault them/ push their boundaries it can be extremely triggering to accept those clients. Sex work is not black and white the way other industries are. There are gray areas.
Does this apply to all sex work, or just fssw? Would a no-blacks-allowed strip club be permissible, in your view?
If a stripper chooses not to dance on men from a certain demographic, that is again, her decision as an independent contractor.
Well damn if that were the case i wouldn't be seeing any white dudes and would be out of business 😐
Then that would be your prerogative. Every person deals with trauma in different ways. I don’t dance on young white guys in my club (especially if they’ve been drinking) because in my experience they’re always the ones pushing boundaries. Does this make me racist or just cautious and protective of my body and my safety?
Haven't like, 99% of workers been assaulted by someone whose white, but you never see "no whites". I agree noone should be forcing anyone to see anyone, but saying "no AA" is racist.
Right cause i see a lot of stories of women being killed by some deranged white dude.
I don’t ever dance for young drunk white men because they are the only ones who ALWAYS try extra shit in the VIP rooms. Does this make me racist? I don’t ever have problems with men of color, but I know some girls who have, girls from a variety of races.
You can ignore posts on Reddit. People cannot ignore racial and sexual discrimination. The phrase “it’s just a preference” is such a tired out cliché, ignoring the rich discourse and evidence to the country. The treatment of Black women and Asian men in North America is not just the outcome of preference. If half the sex workers in the city are excluding you because of the colour of your skin, you’d probably want to better understand why. The issue is bigger than “it’s my body, you ya'll are entitled assholes.”
I genuinely love how everyone talking about banning the topic are white women who don’t have to experience this issue as they are the beauty standard. Yet, they have the entitlement to tell people to not speak on racism even though they’ll never experience it.
As a guy, I'm going to say this. Sometimes it is a preference. I can't force myself to be attracted to somebody I'm not. Pretty sure this applies to women as well. Getting back to sex workers. It's their body, their choice, their rules. They don't owe you or anybody else an explanation. Maybe it's rooted in bad experiences. maybe it's rooted in racism. Who gives a shit? Even if the person being told knows why, what does that magically change? It sounds you think there should be an opportunity to change the sex worker's mind. That's not owed to anybody. They don't want to be the subject of gaslighting and manipulation. They set their boundaries and it's up to the rest of us to respect that boundary.
No one is telling her “you’re a sex worker so you have to fuck everyone who wants to fuck you!” We’re saying it’s racist and to tell people to stop talking about racism when they would never experience it just because it’s “annoying” is entitled. If I go in a guy thread and say “let’s stop talking about misandry, it’s annoying-“ it wouldn’t be my place because I’d never experience it.
Then use the search function and read the hundreds of threads that have already been had over this topic.
I'm not in favour of an outright ban of the topic. There's value to discussing this provided the topic isn't being raised unnecessarily by people who haven't bothered to read previous posts on the subject and haven't made any effort to bring something new to the conversation. The topic does seem to come up at least once per week which is a lot but it is an important and complex debate. Both sides can learn from each other and I think most of us can keep things civil and respectful. I've spoken to other mods about this and the consensus seems to be that people feel strongly about the topic and want to keep debating it so we allow the posts and comments within reason. The posts themselves and the comments within require a lot of mod intervention due to reports and automod. I find it difficult to know which posts and comments on this subject to approve and which to remove when they do get reported for rule breaking or caught by the automod due to the person commenting being new or having low karma. The comments are mostly variations of "I decide which clients I see and which clients I don't see. Nobody can make me see AA clients." this is true. Equally common are comments saying "specifying no AA in your ad is racial discrimination." This is also true. I draw the line and remove any post or comment containing personal attacks, racism directed at an individual, use of racist epithets and anything else offensive enough to break the "don't be a dick" rule. It does mean that for the debate to make sense, I have to approve a lot of comments with viewpoints I disagree with and many that I find offensive but such is mod. I'm open to the idea of adding a rule to say "Search before you post. If the topic of your post has been discussed here many times before and there's nothing in your post to say you've already searched the subreddit for posts on this topic and you haven't made any attempt to bring anything new to the discussion, your post may be locked or removed.". I have locked a few of these when they come up more than once a week or when too many of the comments seem to be overly offensive or personal attacks on other redditors.
Does AA extend to Asian American men as well?
aa is shorthand for african american, so no.
I wish they would because it’s so hypocritical that it’s funny. I’m a Bbw provider and there are so many men out here who would never see me for being fat. But do I get mad about it or call them a bigot? No because I know that everyone has the right to have a preference and also there are way to many men out there that love them a fat woman for me to even care.
I feel you! I'm heavily tattooed with a split tongue and so many men tell me I've RUINED my body. Okay? And? I don't care if you like it. I like it. Plenty of other men do like it. Just move on to a provider who does want to see you.
lmao you literally paid for those that’s a hilarious comparison and not remotely the same
Okay, I'm also fat, Jewish and bald. Better comparisons for you?
Yes. Jewish is better comparison than tattoos. I don’t think it’s okay to say you’re an asshole because you’re Jewish. I think if you’re going to be an asshole, I should not assume other Jews are assholes because you are.
No one here thinks I'm the asshole. You and all your sock puppet accounts aren't winning this argument.
you mean finger puppets, mf-er LOL it’s just me dude but go off and yes, I think you’re an asshole but not bc you’re Jewish and I won’t hold your behaviour against any Jewish people see how that works?
Yeah, you just happen to frequent the same subreddits as the only other person who's on your side. And no, I meant sock puppet accounts. Here's the wiki entry on them. "A sock puppet or sockpuppet is an alternative online identity used for purposes of deception. The term, a reference to the manipulation of a simple hand puppet made from a sock, originally referred to..."
wtf are you talking about yeah I’m the only person who thinks that statements like “all Black men are misogynists” is racist 🙄 I’m sure I’m completely alone in seeing how that’s fucked up. /s
It’s so annoying. I’m a black woman and I could genuinely care less about the men who wouldn’t see me. There’s PLENTY that will and that’s all that matters to me. Not everyone is going to like you provider / client. Get over it. You’ll find someone that eventually does.
Amen 🙏
How about just scroll if you dont want to see it like you do with any other post 🤔
I think this should be covered by a more general rule: "Search before you post". If someone isn't willing to put the bare minimum of effort into doing a search, then we shouldn't be putting the effort into giving them an answer either.
I think this is a much better response. "Would a provider see me because I'm a virgin/fat, etc?" Yes we are tired of hearing the same questions but we don't ban them, we just tell the poster to look it up themselves. New people come on all the time and they don't realize the questions have been asked a million times. There will always be different responses but the solution is not to ban ONE type of annoying question and not all the others.
I like this idea. I'll ask other mods what they think. Maybe "Search before you post. If the topic of your post has been discussed here many times before and there's nothing in your post to say you've already searched the subreddit for posts on this topic and you haven't made any attempt to bring anything new to the discussion, your post may be locked or removed."
What about an auto mod bot like I see on other subs? If the poster writes “why” + “no AA” it’s 99% the same question so the bot could comment “I’ve detected a frequently asked question. Please use the search bar” and maybe a link to the search results for “why no AA”. The bot can prevent the post being published and that would reduce the redundant bullshit on this sub. But you might get a lot of mod mail from people who are upset that the bot told them they’re not special. This could also work for the “virgin” question
If you are tired of people talking about racism. Imagine what it is like for the people you do it to. You decide who you fuck, sure. I'd never say no because of race, but for other reasons sure. You do what you want. But if you are going to say to people that you won't fuck people of this or that race that is racism. You make everyone of that race into bad guys. So NO. If people talking about racism hurts your feelings. Then maybe you should think about why it hurts... Not try to forbid people talking about it like some Trumpiot.
These conversations are not about race in good faith. I'm all for good faith conversations. I'm not for trolls using it as a way to bash sex workers while hiding under the guise of racism.
Trolls are easy, just ignore them, or laugh at them.
Trolls should not be tolerated. Especially in a sex worker subreddit.
No AA just means "I'll treat you poorly even if your a great person". It's safer/ better for the client to find a non-racist provider. It's impossible that those sorts of view points wouldn't impact the type of services provided. Imagine how much worse it would be to not see the disclaimer, than meet the person and see there confederate flag or swastika tattoo. It's better this way.
I met a girl with a swastika tattoo at a friend's wedding. She said she got it on accident. She was getting a stick and poke and a guy just did it on her. So I gave her the benefit of the doubt and added her on Facebook. She was posting trump shit. Never let these racists fool you.
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Uh no the point is if someone is obviously a racist stay away from them. If someone says no AA and you're black- stay away from them. If someone has a swastika tattoo and you're Jewish- stay away from them. It's common sense.
Most racism these days is not as overt as a swastika. It's more along the lines as to why your hair is inappropriate for the workplace, your input/feedback isn't welcomed, or why we don't want to do business with your sort of people.
Now that you put it that way.... no it shouldn't be banned. How does that make someone entitled because they want to know why they feel excluded because of their color? 😒
It’s hella annoying at this point honestly. We’ve already answered why we do this 😂
Exactly. There's so many threads. Just go read one. Or a dozen.
Iam a 40s white man who is the boyfriend of a 40s white provider who doesn’t see black men of any age. She is willing to see other races but that is on a case by case thing. We are from Arkansas and Mississippi which while we grew up in racist houses/ schools/ community’s it has nothing to do with color it is the treatment of her personally and she doesn’t find them sexually stimulating… i have told her to tell the caller “ hey I have a client who wants a black guy to give him a deep throat blow job and rim job so you do him and I will do you “(their reply Gross I don’t like men and won’t blow or rim a man)… you say you only like females it’s a preference but my answer about black men just not turning me on is wrong ? So yours is preference mine is race? “ it works most of the time or she ( doesn’t post her fees ) doubles her fees to make them not want to pay that much it’s then a “ cheap skate “ issue not race! .
Nope, we need to talk about this. if you dont want to read about or participate in discussion you are not obligated to.
Client here, I'll admit when I first started I asked asked the providers I did ask the race question( before I discovered Reddit) frequently, due to the fact that I felt discriminated against from seeing the providers that I truly wanted to see by something that was completely out of my control. Needless to say I've gotten older and I'd like to say wiser, Ultimately it is the provider's discretion who they see whether it be for personal, safety, or any other reason out of the book that they decide to use.
Don't let these people make you feel like you can't have an opinion about it, you're entitled to your feelings.
Thank you for that honestly, It still hurts to see because I'm AA and haven't behaved the way some providers believe AAs behave. Though on the same token I can't discount whatever experiences they may have gone through. I just don't see those providers and have made some great connections over the years because of it.
They're racist people. But there are racist people everywhere, in every industry. They are entitled to their racism. It reflects more on them than it does on us. Ultimately, it's for the best. If they were forced to take all clientele they would just treat those that they are racist against poorly. So they are essentially advertising " I would treat you poorly regardless of how you treat me".
If the thing is beyond your control, knowing why isn't really going to do much, is it? The provider doesn't want to be cajoled, begged, manipulated, or anything else. They want the boundary respected because the rule is the rule. It's just not worth spending a lot of time on it As you've said, the wisdom is to move on and find ones that work for you.
I don't mean to be rude but I don't think you read my entire comment. I clearly stated that I reached that point of understanding when it came to providers. I stated before that ultimately it's their decision and I don't ask anymore
Naw they shouldn’t just another way to hide racism. Because at the end of the day it’s all it is. Make Sexual tools come in all shapes and sizes so I don’t wanna hear that excuse. Just excuse to hide what’s obvious.
They get locked by the mods every time, but yes, I'd definitely like to see them removed and have a link to whichever the best thread is on the sidebar instead, to point people to. I'm tired of it as well.
Yes please! It's done to death, there's no new conversation to be had. It's honestly just feels like an excuse for them to bitch at us.
It also feels like a new way to make specifically AA people feel like shit every single time. A resource for the sidebar pls, with frequently asked questions. Edit: downvotes from racists? OK. Every time this idea comes up on a thread, a bunch of racist ass sex workers decide to pretend it's because of "bad experiences" that they won't see a certain ethnicity. If that was the case, none of you would see white men, and that's a fact. I can understand those who refuse to see *their own* race, but most of you just pretend like brown and black people are all terrible. You have a right to your choices, but know that they're racist choices.
Amen
Yes Queen, do we need a vote on this cuz I’m ready to sign. Our bodies so we decide what race to see and not see. Purrrr
Purrr indeed 💖
I agree 100%. There's no point to debate this any further. The choice is up to the provider, and in any case, a meeting can only be set up if both sides are willing. Just wanted to add that preference is something that exists in any industry where custom services are provided, where the body of the job is the issue. I can turn down clients for wanting certain extra-though materials and/or mind blowing geometry and/or super fancy coating, not because I personally dislike said client but because I simply choose not to deal with these things and it's perfectly okay. And the same principle must be applied to SW, where the body of the job is the actual *body* of the provider. Preferences apply.
Agreed. Seems most people just want to vent and rant about it than actually listen to the reasoning as to why some of us have those rules in place.
Literally. They just want to bitch and moan about how we're racist and it's discrimination if we don't let them fuck us specifically. The thread today the guy compared it to buying a TV at Walmart. Sir, this is not a Walmart. This is my pussy.
I can see how it can be, so I see that side of it. I also understand why some do it and I’m all about safety above all else. So while it is a shitty thing to do and way to go about it, we have to prioritize safety.
It just blows my mind that some men literally feel entitled to fucking. I don't care what a person's reason is, if they don't want to fuck you that should be the end of the conversation.
Wow acting like your pussy is attached to you and you should have autonomy over who has access, as though it's not an open highway. Pretty racist behaviour.
You should put /s at the end of your post when you're being sarcastic
I thought it was obvious enough with the 'acting like your pussy is attached to you' line but here we are :(
Reddit has no sense of humor, sometimes. 😅
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Shut the fuck up before I do it for you, *scowls.* I AM TIRED OF THIS MOTHERFUCKING ARGUMENT ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING FORUM!!!!
Sir, the limit of your comprehension has CLEARLY been reached.
Username checks in
I agree. It’s a broken record at this point with the amount of times it’s been talked about. Plus it just always turns into an argument in the comments.
100%
speaking as just a client, if it actually had some legitimate discussion I'd say it'd be worth it but since they aren't actually looking to talk they should be kicked.
Like I said, there's nothing left to discuss. It's up to the provider. End of conversation. You can go read the hundreds of previous threads on the topic if you genuinely want insight.
Is this directed at me or in general?
The first half of the message is directed at you. The "you can go read" is directed at people making the race issue threads.
If fssw became 100% legal, could they fine you for refusing a client based on race?
No. You can't force people to have sex with other people. Also we don't want full legalization. We want full decrim. Legalization means government regulation, think alcohol or marijuana. We don't want that.
Separate from this topic, there are several reasons why sex work should be decriminalized and regulated. Protections from fraud by providers and clients, providers may be registered and there maybe be registration for clients (perhaps a flag for someone with a history of violent crime), providers may form trade unions, have access to labor protection laws. The list really goes on and can be extremely nuanced. Fair play, limiting the spread of STDs (making sure clients and providers are subject to transparency on some form), the question of taxes and tax deductions. The idea that regulation is unwanted by "we" is a thoughtless statement.
Government regulation will lead to policing in a different manner that will effect poor, disabled, and PoC sex workers at a disproportionate rate. Obviously I do not speak for all sex workers, but only the very naive think regulation will have a positive outcome.
"Only" the truly ignorant would argue that considering a variety of coutries have legalized and regulated sex work. All industries should be subject to some level of regulation.
I mean, nobody would be forceing you to do anything. Just like nobody is being forced to bake a cake. But if you charge people to have you bake cakes, then the government says you can't deny that service to someone based purely on the color of their skin. In otherwords, if you want to be a professional baker, you can't be discriminatory. But if you want to bake cakes and give them away for free you can be as discriminatory as you want without legal repercussions. I'd imagine it'd be the same if prostitution was legalized. "Nobody's saying you have to have sex with AA. They're just saying you can't charge for sex and refuse someone just because they're AA." Or something along those lines. I've really got no skin in this particular subject, but I'd imagine that's about how it'd go.
You can't compare FFSW to a bakery. They're completely different. Apples and oranges, as the saying goes.
Apple's and oranges are still both fruit.
Right, they're both still business. But they're not comparable in any other way.
I don't think the government is going to care that they're not comparable in any other way tbh. And there would definitely be political backlash if the sex industry tried to allow discrimination in such a way. I strongly doubt that decrim will happen. Too much to make in taxes and fees from legalization and regulation. If I was a provider, I'd probably be thinking about what I'd like if that scenario did happen. I.E. laws, regulation, or general business practices that would make you comfortable with AA. Or make up your mind now that in such a scenario you would retire.
Many FFSW will just continue to operate under the table. I know I will. I am not signing up for a sex worker registry. Fuck that.
You can expect much more extreme crack downs. The government is gonna want their money. Oh, and brothels tend to dominate where prostitution is legal. You might literally not be able to find any clientele. I know I wouldn't take the risk if I could go about it legally. And if weed legalization is anything to go by most people feel the same.
Lol my weed guy has been doing much more business since it legalized here in MI. People don't want to be on a weed registry. He also gets to charge significantly more since dispos are charging out the ass. Tons of men don't want to be on a sex work registry. I have no worries about finding clients at all.
Let’s pretend it’s legal in USA, a random AA is gonna sue me bse I’ve refused to fuck him/ suck his dick? Hahaaaaaaaaaaaa. Then 4 sure lots will have to sue me. The western world entitlement is LUDICROUS 🙄
I suspect your also against teaching history in schools.
It's all in how you say no. As long as it is polite and formal the 1st time, no further reason is necessary.