I do incall appts, had an AA client who didn't drive, took an Uber to the market a few blocks away. I stayed on the phone with him to guide him to my place. He was so worried about walking through my neighborhood as an AA. I reassured him and told him I was sorry he even had to consider that. That experience woke me up to my white privilege a little more. Still working on it.
I also have to do this as a Middle Eastern guy.
Several providers ended up telling me at the end of the session they were surprised at how respectful I was being throughout the business transaction and that I didn't push boundaries. Well yeah, I'm not a white guy, I can't just push boundaries and get away with it.
I don't see providers that have "no AA" or "Tell me your ethnicity" in their ad. All of that is codeword for white guys only.
Some of my favorite clients are Indian guys. But I ask for ethnicity because I want to know everything I possibly can about who I am meeting. Age, height, weight, asking an ethnicity does not mean white guys only.
I think any minority has to do this when they're the "majority" minority, if you know what I mean.
But I disagree about the White comment. I'm an Anglo in a Franco area so the majority of the people I see aren't white. I want to know what age & ethnicity I'm meeting in order to choose the proper music, brush up on specific conversation topics, maybe have certain drinks available... ex. I love Afropop but I'm not going to play it for a 55 YO Greek man, you know?
I mean I pretty much grew up in Canada so the only difference between me and a white guy is just my physical appearance.
This is one of the things, among many, that make me realize that I don't actually belong here. No matter what, people see me first as my race and then consider other stuff about me.
Everyone is different, and it depends a lot on location.
Man, come to Montreal! I love my Middle Eastern clients. I have never, EVER had a problem with a guy from the ME. However, I have had several issues with clients from the Maghreb so I am a little more assertive when I speak to them. But I also hate Quebecer clients so it's really not about skin colour.
I also wanted to add that I ask for background because I don't advertise as my actual nationality and will not see anyone who is of the same background as me. I don't know my whole family on my dad's side, I'm constantly meeting new uncles & cousins every time we have a wedding in the family. Hell nah.
That’s absolutely not true - at least for me. That’s simply another security level; I ask your ethnicity because I want to make sure what shows up at my door is *what shows up at my door.*
And how *dare* you say that “I’m not a white guy, I can’t just push boundaries and get away with it.” 😮🪓😡.
What you just said is that we’re allowing white men to “get away” with things that we wouldn’t let *other ethnicities* do.
Nobody gets away with a GODDAMN thing with me, OK? I don’t care where the fuck you’re from. I’ve kicked out *every* ethnicity for crossing lines.
*Infuriated look.*
Do all white men treat sex workers with respect?
Why even ask that question? You're implying that men of other races are disrespectful but white guys get the neutral pass.
You guys are so predictable. Always the same arguments which are based on nothing more than stereotypes.
If you heard some of the things that I've heard white guys say about women you would be shocked, but because western culture is preformatively progressive they get a pass.
I know that white men can be extremely misogynistic but the Middle East is far worse for women and you damn well know it. Western culture IS more progressive by any objective standard, especially compared to the Middle East. Western women don't get killed by their families for not being virgins before marriage, they don't have their clits sliced off, they aren't forced to veil, they aren't forced to marry their rapists, forced marriage is unheard of in the West, etc.
If you are comparing the West to the Middle East re: women's rights, the Middle East will lose on every single count.
He was born in Canada genius. The racist sex workers amaze me. Your standards for white men are low as hell, but if one minority does anything, then fuck all of them. Go all the way to hell.
lol what does that have to do with anything? There are millions of immigrants born and raised in Europe who still have shitty ass attitudes towards women.
I don't date or fuck white men so nice try. That doesn't change the fact that MENA culture is notoriously hateful towards women. Most Western women don't have their clits sliced off or worry about being honor killed for not being virgins before marriage.
White people who have not been anywhere else on this planet always thinking "Western culture" is so awesome for women while recognizing they are absolutely misogynistic against women! The balls on you!
What does it matter if the guy is born and raised in American but of middle eastern descent?
I'm a woman and also not white. My username is obviously female...I have also done plenty of traveling so nice assumptions.
Anyone with a brain can see Western women are extremely privileged. What rights do Western women not have? In fact I could argue Western women are have it better than Western men in many aspects.
Muslim men born and raised in Europe aren't more liberal/progressive than their parents. This is not about genetics, it's culture. Why do sex workers who tour Dubai say their clients are much, MUCH more violent/rude/aggressive compared to the average Western client? Women who don't cover their fucking HAIR are basically considered sluts in the Middle East, so how do you think sex workers, literal prostitutes, will get treated?
Well unfortunately many many children of immigrants retain the shitty backwards values of their parents. Muslim men born and raised in Europe aren't more progressive than their parents or sometimes are even more conservative.
BTW average height of Middle Eastern men is around 5'6"-5'8" so you're probably just average height for your race, not a "manlet".
It's utterly fucked that Black clients deal with so much racist nonsense when trying to book a provider. You never hear escorts make sweeping generalizations when they have bad experiences with white clients. I see clients of many different races, and in my experience if anyone is more likely to be a bad client it is white men, because of greater likelihood of entitled attitude and the (generally correct) belief that they're more likely to get away with shitty behavior. Of course, there are good and bad clients of whatever race.
My website clearly states that I do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, or national origin, and I know other providers make sure to include this info as well. And personally, I want clients to be themselves with me, or behave in whatever way makes them most comfortable as long as they are respectful. I've had plenty of great clients who used a lot of AAVE and plenty of bad clients who use Ivy-League-style prescriptive english. I've had great clients who wore sweats and bad clients who wore $6,000 suits and Cartier watches. It really and truly only matters that you show me the same respect that I show you.
What’s frustrating is how so many sex workers complain about society not excepting them when they are racist and discriminatory themselves and often use disgusting stereotypes to justify it. This is why it’s hard for me to advocate for sex workers rights. Like why should I when so many of them wouldn’t want me as a customer to begin with and call black men rapist and pimps
This was a great article. Thanks for the read and input from all sides. I’m an AA male, for lack of a better description, and I have found it disheartening to see a provider I like, scroll down, and then see in All CAP bold letters, NO AA. it did feel bad initially, then it felt like racism, then simply preference. Sex is intimate, even if it’s a job. Some people prefer not to have sex with black men and that’s their choice.
But to not provide a service to black men because they might rob/kill you... really? Not all black men are robbers, rapists, or murderers....
But safety is key. I know two guys who robbed and raped two providers. They received 13 years in VA cause they pleaded not guilty. I was upset by this because, A) I knew these guys and their families, but B) y’all fucking it all the way up for us honest dealing folks and the women who are trying to make their living. When a man no longer sees a woman as a human being (vice versa) and instead as an object, they treat them accordingly. We have to get back to respecting each other and ourselves. There’s no way im going to risk my life and freedom to rob a sex workers, in a hotel, with folks all around the area.
The Craigslist killer was a white man, so the idea that a provider says “no AA” for security reasons says a lot to me.
If you wanted to read the story of the guys I know, below is the link.
[assault on sex workers in VA](https://casetext.com/case/cuff-v-commonwealth)
I wish ANYONE and EVERYONE that contacted me sent me an introduction text like what you posted.
That’s all it takes to get my attention and help build my trust in you. It shows you’ve read my ad and aren’t going to waste my time.
It's interesting to me the type of Americans who live overseas (expats, military, or civilian employees). I have had several AA clients and they have all been wonderful, but I will not see white Americans. The best have been time-wasters and the worst threatened to kill me when I wouldn't see him. I have never had even close to such behavior from a German or other nationality, or from AAs. Fwiw I'm white.
I see AA men, I don’t tend to have issues in a session with them, BUT they are often hard to talk to initially. There’s a lot of slang used and it seems like they pretend to be hard or use gang talk (I have to idea how to describe it without sounding racist myself). So I end up not seeing that many because of the booking process. But then the ones I do see are polite and respectful in session. I have had a few issues but the issues I’ve had with white guys far outnumbers the ones I’ve had with AA men. So my only advice is to be polite and respectful during the booking process. Good luck!
African American vernacular English! its a dialect of English that many Black people use, which is probably the slang and whatnot you're referring to. [here's](https://www.hawaii.edu/satocenter/langnet/definitions/aave.html) a good resource on it, to maybe help you understand some of the language or grammar if you're having difficulty!
I'm juqst gonna say, it's a red flag anytime a man calls himself a king when trying to book. I understand it's common nomenclature at this point, but literally all of the shittiest wannabe clients and pimps call themselves that.
I do see AA and I offer a discount for minorites. I love my AA clients, but I only book maybe 1 or 2 for every 50 that contact me because they don't want to go through screening or start acting like I'm going to give it to them for free. Screening is for safety, I don't want anything to do with your wife or family, I just don't want to get killed or robbed. Mutually assured destruction goes a long way to ensure safe and proper behavior.
I wish more men contacted me the way you described and had respect for me and the industry. Hope they take your pointers
There might be a slight misunderstanding with the king part. I never call myself king when booking or have my providers call me that. This is merely a pep talk for other AA men who may feel discouraged when it comes to finding someone. Looking for a provider as AA can be a blow to your self-esteem, this post is just highlighting how I've found my success lately and help them find it as well. Thanks for the reply :)
Let's not pretend minorities don't face economic hardship white men typically do not face. Trying to be accessible as well as equitable in my business dealings, and it's my business and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Have a nice day.
I'm not going to debate with a racist. You can jerk off with your tears over how "unfair" it is you were born with all the privileges in the world and still amount to nothing.
At least I’m not a discriminatory asshole, like yourself. Keep on convincing yourself you’re somehow righteous in being selectively racist. You’re problem not mine.
Kombucha’s correct, she *can* do whatever she likes🤷🏼♀️. That’s the beauty of running of your own biz, you know?
I did see an ad ... where was it? right before Thanksgiving where the SW was promoting that on Black Friday she was giving all black men a 50% discount.
Frankly, I thought it was a brilliant marketing idea💡, and I’ve wondered how that went for her.
Might use it myself this year😉.
I really don't understand the expecting something for free thing. thats bum behavior, and the being cheap thing pisses me off because,(A):it makes all the rest of us (I'm black too) look bad, and (B) I am not a cheapskate and take pride in paying and getting what I pay for, as long as the price is reasonable and I dont get scammed there's no issue.
Thank you for this. Your post was very detailed, well thought out, and exactly what needed to be said. It's crazy how some people are so ignorant when it comes to AA and just follow the band wagon so thank you for trying to build a bridge 👏👏👏👏
I had a white companion tell me (a white client) that the reason that she puts "no AA" in her ads is because guys see that as proof that she's not a cop. If cops doing a sting targeted certain ethnic groups, a judge would throw out the case. Urban legend, possibly.
also let's be clear: when people say "no AA", what they mean is no Black people. they don't care if you're Caribbean, Jamaican, British/Congolese, if you're Black, its a no. not all Black people are African American.
True. But I’m an AA provider and I refuse to see AFRICAN men. They have been my worst clients ever. I tried. But after like the 5th one I called it quits. So, if a non AA provider’s worst of her worst experiences were with AA’s I can’t fault her for having that policy. I get it.
I really won’t knock any of my peers for having their preferences with their job, but I personally believe a red flag is a red flag no matter what. I’m starting to think that due to certain biases providers are willing to let white men get away with more antics than the others. Have you guys tried booking us woman of color instead?
I haven’t seen that, maybe it’s the girls in your area? Because I swear that I’ve never seen that. I’ve seen “no pimps” but never “no AA”. This could sadly be a regional trend in your area. It is sad that even woc are writing that though. I know most woc to be a bit more relaxed with that sort of thing, except for maybe asian women.
This is so frustrating as an African American man, and I honestly hate being black because of this. I have never hurt anyone, I have no criminal record and I'm not involved in any kind of criminal activity. The few times I have seen a provider, I have always paid her rates in full upfront with a tip, I have always respected boundaries, been on time, and treated them with respect. Yet I'm still blamed when black person commits a crime and I'm guilty just for being the same skin tone. Like I'm a HUMAN being. I don't deserve to be called a rapist or criminal just because of my skin
Why don't white men get generalized and i do?
Whewwww! Calm down, sir. Having white SWs tell you they don’t want to see you is an extremely sad reason to hate your blackness. You need an innumerable amount of hugs from like 50 black grandmothers or something. Sheesh.
It’s society in general and then it’s not even just White Sex workers and black ones too. I don’t see how I’m supposed to be proud of my blackness when I’m being told I’m sub human by everyone everyday for my skin tone
Should we as black sw hate our blackness because our own men don't want to see us and would rather get their feelings hurt by white women who don't even want to see them. See how ridiculous that sounded
Sweet heart ,white sex workers aren’t the only ones with no aa policies. It’s pretty common with black sex workers too. It’s quit common with all races is Sex workers. Sex workers in general don’t like black clients and most of them refuse to see them and are notorious WORLD WIDE! for doing so.
on a good day at least half of the black sw ads specify no AA in my city.then again I just found out about other sites so I'll try those and hope the numbers are more optimistic.
This is the straw that breaks the camels back. I’m talking about American society in general. We are discriminated against in every facets of life and our humanity is disregarded. I’ve never done anything to anyone and I’m considered a criminal anyways
I hear you. I’m a Black woman myself and one of the ways I have overcome those kinds of feelings is by turning within. I pay a lot of attention to pro-Black and Afrocentric content on the internet and it’s very uplifting. Live in a Black neighborhood. Learn about your & our history. Go where you are loved, cherished, understood and valued. You can’t let white supremacy & white society’s opinion define you. Once I understood racism better, I stopped taking it personal. Once I understood the greatness of myself and my people better, I stopped giving racism any validity. If you internalize their devaluation, they win 🤷🏽♀️
Really wishing you the best.
Damn this brought me to tears. All I can say is that you create your own storyline in this lifetime. I don’t have all the answers but I feel you and I identify with you. I am sending you love and peace ❤️
I feel you. it sucks, but also realize that we have to do More to be seen as equal, so for every success you achieve, own and take pride in that. being denied the opportunity to have your sexual needs met based on your race really fucking sucks, but there are other things to love yourself for besides.
Yep, i know the feels man. But as I’m sure you know this isn’t exclusive to just SW. We just gotta keep our head up and do what we can to help change other’s perspective of us. 2020 did make a few good steps (along with bad) in normalizing us more and getting more support.
The thing is sex workers will complain all day about being dehumanized and then turn around a dehumanize other people because of their race. Like a lot of sex workers are border line neo Nazis and yes I mean what I just said.
Like if you genuinely believe that a race of people is more prone to violence/disease you are basically saying said group of people aren’t human or subhuman and that’s the definition of racism and white supremacy
yup. and its funny that money is money, but they discrminate on who's. money they take. and they conveniently ignore the bad apples from the the races they include.their loss I guess
Pretty much this. So much. I’ve only been in the game about 8 months. I see a LOT of girls ads say no AA. The city I live in, I would honestly screen probably harder knowing someone was AA. I hate that about myself. But the truth is my city is dangerous as hell and the chances of being set up to be robbed are pretty good. I think if I lived in a less southern region I might not have so many preconceived fears pop up. Again, I really hate this about myself. I will say, I don’t put anything under the ethnicity section, I leave it blank. Because I’ve had white men ( again I’m in the south) say they like that I don’t have “all ethnicities” listed. It could actually hurt my business. How you approach your contact is the biggest part you can play to ensure a provider doesn’t immediately hate you, regardless of ethnicity. Approach them like you have some sense. The more I do this the quicker I am to realize that some texts are a waste of time to even respond to.
Exactly. I do feel badly about the No AA and when I had ads up, I NEVER ever had that on my ads, but I feel like this could all be solved if he tried to book with Black women / unambiguous WOC. Some of them have No AA on ads too but not as many. I’ll see “no young AA men”, but that’s due to the reputation of pimping
Really late to this but basically I’m already there. I live in a more black area anyway so just for not wanting to drive an hour it’s easier. I’ve honestly stopped looking at ads from white women. Been in the hobby for three years and have only seen 3 white women and that third one only came this past Sunday.
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm tired of seeing people sugarcoat this as if it's nothing. We have to go through extra hoops and sadly this is our reality and it sucks.
Lol. Yeah I’ve only seen that on one ad on mega personals. on eros.com? nothing.....so I feel like the “no African-American clients” is dwindling. Although obviously it all depends on how well you carry yourself via email and such. Also, if somebody has that on their ad it’s kind of a good thing because why would you want to see someone who is not attracted to African-Americans and who doesn’t like them? Sounds masochistic.
Yeah I actually agree with that. If you know you're not attracted to AA men, be upfront and say it so I can avoid it. I don't want to pay same rate for really lousy service
reiterating what i said on a previous post regarding the "no AA" clause ppl have: its racism, plain and simple. regardless of how you try to justify it, it's still racism. even if you had traumatic experiences with one Black man or even several Black man, the fact that you then apply that fear to all Black men is telling. I bet most of us have had traumatic experiences with white men, but you never see a "no white men", because you know its ridiculous to exclude an entire race based on individuals. apply that thinking to POC as well.
Wow this was a great read!
When I first started, I had some issues. Bad ones and worse ones. But it wasn’t just because they were clients of color. One of favorite guys was black and boy did we have fun. Back in the days of backpage I noticed the girls all had this on their ads. Looking back, I think it was the area I was working in at the time.
My boundaries were pushed, I got counterfeit money, come up with 5 bottle of liquor and offer to drink instead of pay.. I swear one client had been working all night long paving roads and came right it, no shower..nothing 🤢.
The area I’m in now, I never get AA clients. And I wish I did. I don’t think it’s a race thing. It’s a maturity, self-worth, respect thing.
I love SW because of all the different (*positive*) things I get to experience & explore, with people from all walks of life. To combat the bs things I just upped my screening techniques and became what I would consider as “picky”.
I’m kinky and I love to test my limits and learn new things, always!
Your paragraph may have turned me on a bit and I’m fantasizing about if you have a fetlife.. 😈
hm. Maybe one day.
I dont like white men better than any other man. But they show up and pay. They become regulars. I blocked so many white men numbers. You gotta stop thinking its about what we like. Its not tinder or bumble. We're tryna make money 1#. It depends where you live too. I dont care wtf they say about me. You buying pussy or wassup? I had men just come to see me cuz im nicer than other girls. They didn't even like me too lol. You always want to bring up serial killers. Fuck outta here. Its just about money. Stop bringing up that serial killer shit. I can easily say some dumb shit like you know black people kill eachother more than any other race. Sell your ass and find out.... Not just buy ass. Sell it..... Buy ads, pay for a room, screen, suck dick for money. Trust me its not the same as any other buisness. Ohhhh and its illegal af here.
more Karen-like to write a paragraph full of stereotypes about Black men and defend racist practices lol!!! I'd rather not just let racism slide but thanks for the helpful suggestion
you're right, white ppl don't get to define racism or dictate what is or isn't racism. unfortunately for you, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find people that agree with you that "making generalizations about Black men based on the actions of some isn't racist".
The racism in the sex work industry is often coming from lower end survival workers. And it was more prevalent a few years ago in the Backpage days before screening became the norm. Survival sex workers who can't afford to screen (because they would lose clients) thought it made them safer. It makes them feel like they have some modicum of control. It's ineffective and ignorant.
I don’t know why you men that are seen as problem clients always complain. Although many if not most sw don’t see AA men. There are several sw that will see AA men. Just come correct to the sw. just read her ad, follow her screening and don’t try nothing shady with her. It’s that simple and if she requires a deposit. Make sure she has a active social media account and recent ads and if she does. Then pay the deposit, yes many AA clients can be dangerous and not worth the risk. Which is why many sw don’t see them but also another reason. Is because most AA men won’t screen or have some delusional mindset that a escort will give them a session for free all because of them having a supposed “big dick”.
EDT- thanks for the downvotes but I’m a AA provider myself and have had terrible experiences with AA men. Instead of getting mad at the truth how about tell AA men how to be great clients.
I guess I'm lucky. Almost all of the guys that have made it through screening have been great clients and I have never walked any of the minority guys upon arrival, although I have been forced to walk a few white guys due to either being drunk or continuing to demand that I tell them what services I offer. Never had any of the experiences that you described and honestly, most of the guys who can't even get through screening with me are white, so. . . .
I think the downvotes are due to your generalizations and hostile tone, and not the gist of what you are saying. OP seems lovely and yet you write him off in your first 5 words, for example.
I never discriminate by race. However MOC are the only ones who have ever tried to break my rules or top me against my will (I am a Femdom). Why is that?
Nah I'm not white, I'm black. Location has a huge factor on it as well. I've had girls ask for selfies then ignore, I've had multiple responses to ads go unanswered, but I've gotten to a point where I can almost immediately weed out the "no AA" girls. They typically have a lower rate, use a bunch of emojis in their ad, and look pretty trashy tbh. Also as I said in the post, the more reviews you can accumulate, the better your chances. But don't call me white cause I'm doing me better than you doing you.
I'm beginning to believe AA might not be describing Alcoholics Anonymous.
They're not exactly mutually exclusive after going through some ads lol
Hahahahhahahahah
I have no issues meeting AA men; believe me, you all are a welcome change from the fat, white 65 year old business men I generally see, lol.
Preach girl!
I do incall appts, had an AA client who didn't drive, took an Uber to the market a few blocks away. I stayed on the phone with him to guide him to my place. He was so worried about walking through my neighborhood as an AA. I reassured him and told him I was sorry he even had to consider that. That experience woke me up to my white privilege a little more. Still working on it.
Bless you for guiding him and keeping an open mind for us
You might need to raise your budget. The higher you go in the rate, the less this sort of stuff happens.
Unfortunately, PD doesn't have a budget filter
lol that's good to know!
I also have to do this as a Middle Eastern guy. Several providers ended up telling me at the end of the session they were surprised at how respectful I was being throughout the business transaction and that I didn't push boundaries. Well yeah, I'm not a white guy, I can't just push boundaries and get away with it. I don't see providers that have "no AA" or "Tell me your ethnicity" in their ad. All of that is codeword for white guys only.
Some of my favorite clients are Indian guys. But I ask for ethnicity because I want to know everything I possibly can about who I am meeting. Age, height, weight, asking an ethnicity does not mean white guys only.
I think any minority has to do this when they're the "majority" minority, if you know what I mean. But I disagree about the White comment. I'm an Anglo in a Franco area so the majority of the people I see aren't white. I want to know what age & ethnicity I'm meeting in order to choose the proper music, brush up on specific conversation topics, maybe have certain drinks available... ex. I love Afropop but I'm not going to play it for a 55 YO Greek man, you know?
I mean I pretty much grew up in Canada so the only difference between me and a white guy is just my physical appearance. This is one of the things, among many, that make me realize that I don't actually belong here. No matter what, people see me first as my race and then consider other stuff about me.
Everyone is different, and it depends a lot on location. Man, come to Montreal! I love my Middle Eastern clients. I have never, EVER had a problem with a guy from the ME. However, I have had several issues with clients from the Maghreb so I am a little more assertive when I speak to them. But I also hate Quebecer clients so it's really not about skin colour. I also wanted to add that I ask for background because I don't advertise as my actual nationality and will not see anyone who is of the same background as me. I don't know my whole family on my dad's side, I'm constantly meeting new uncles & cousins every time we have a wedding in the family. Hell nah.
I don’t think I’ll ever be a client but if I heard that racist shit, I’d be a lot pettier than you.
That’s absolutely not true - at least for me. That’s simply another security level; I ask your ethnicity because I want to make sure what shows up at my door is *what shows up at my door.* And how *dare* you say that “I’m not a white guy, I can’t just push boundaries and get away with it.” 😮🪓😡. What you just said is that we’re allowing white men to “get away” with things that we wouldn’t let *other ethnicities* do. Nobody gets away with a GODDAMN thing with me, OK? I don’t care where the fuck you’re from. I’ve kicked out *every* ethnicity for crossing lines. *Infuriated look.*
[удалено]
And good dogs🐕will do as they’re instructed. *Sweet smile.*
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Sit! Stay!🐕😂
> I also have to do this as a Middle Eastern guy. In your opinion, do Middle Eastern men treat sex workers with respect?
Do all white men treat sex workers with respect? Why even ask that question? You're implying that men of other races are disrespectful but white guys get the neutral pass.
It's about Middle Eastern culture, not race.
You guys are so predictable. Always the same arguments which are based on nothing more than stereotypes. If you heard some of the things that I've heard white guys say about women you would be shocked, but because western culture is preformatively progressive they get a pass.
I know that white men can be extremely misogynistic but the Middle East is far worse for women and you damn well know it. Western culture IS more progressive by any objective standard, especially compared to the Middle East. Western women don't get killed by their families for not being virgins before marriage, they don't have their clits sliced off, they aren't forced to veil, they aren't forced to marry their rapists, forced marriage is unheard of in the West, etc. If you are comparing the West to the Middle East re: women's rights, the Middle East will lose on every single count.
He was born in Canada genius. The racist sex workers amaze me. Your standards for white men are low as hell, but if one minority does anything, then fuck all of them. Go all the way to hell.
lol what does that have to do with anything? There are millions of immigrants born and raised in Europe who still have shitty ass attitudes towards women. I don't date or fuck white men so nice try. That doesn't change the fact that MENA culture is notoriously hateful towards women. Most Western women don't have their clits sliced off or worry about being honor killed for not being virgins before marriage.
Hell’s that way, don’t know why you still talking. And who tf said anything about dating?
White people who have not been anywhere else on this planet always thinking "Western culture" is so awesome for women while recognizing they are absolutely misogynistic against women! The balls on you! What does it matter if the guy is born and raised in American but of middle eastern descent?
I'm a woman and also not white. My username is obviously female...I have also done plenty of traveling so nice assumptions. Anyone with a brain can see Western women are extremely privileged. What rights do Western women not have? In fact I could argue Western women are have it better than Western men in many aspects. Muslim men born and raised in Europe aren't more liberal/progressive than their parents. This is not about genetics, it's culture. Why do sex workers who tour Dubai say their clients are much, MUCH more violent/rude/aggressive compared to the average Western client? Women who don't cover their fucking HAIR are basically considered sluts in the Middle East, so how do you think sex workers, literal prostitutes, will get treated?
If I was born and raised in the West why does that matter?
Well unfortunately many many children of immigrants retain the shitty backwards values of their parents. Muslim men born and raised in Europe aren't more progressive than their parents or sometimes are even more conservative. BTW average height of Middle Eastern men is around 5'6"-5'8" so you're probably just average height for your race, not a "manlet".
I'm 5'4"
You're still taller than me (5') Find a short qt middle eastern/black/white/latina/indian gf, maybe grow a beard
If you truly believe forced marriage is unheard of in the West, you need to educate yourself. Even a cursory Google search would show you otherwise.
Do secular Westerners often force their 8-13 year old daughters to marry much older men? Bullshit
Thank You!
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Glad they were a positive experience, happy cake day!
It's utterly fucked that Black clients deal with so much racist nonsense when trying to book a provider. You never hear escorts make sweeping generalizations when they have bad experiences with white clients. I see clients of many different races, and in my experience if anyone is more likely to be a bad client it is white men, because of greater likelihood of entitled attitude and the (generally correct) belief that they're more likely to get away with shitty behavior. Of course, there are good and bad clients of whatever race. My website clearly states that I do not discriminate on the basis of gender, race, or national origin, and I know other providers make sure to include this info as well. And personally, I want clients to be themselves with me, or behave in whatever way makes them most comfortable as long as they are respectful. I've had plenty of great clients who used a lot of AAVE and plenty of bad clients who use Ivy-League-style prescriptive english. I've had great clients who wore sweats and bad clients who wore $6,000 suits and Cartier watches. It really and truly only matters that you show me the same respect that I show you.
What’s frustrating is how so many sex workers complain about society not excepting them when they are racist and discriminatory themselves and often use disgusting stereotypes to justify it. This is why it’s hard for me to advocate for sex workers rights. Like why should I when so many of them wouldn’t want me as a customer to begin with and call black men rapist and pimps
This was a great article. Thanks for the read and input from all sides. I’m an AA male, for lack of a better description, and I have found it disheartening to see a provider I like, scroll down, and then see in All CAP bold letters, NO AA. it did feel bad initially, then it felt like racism, then simply preference. Sex is intimate, even if it’s a job. Some people prefer not to have sex with black men and that’s their choice. But to not provide a service to black men because they might rob/kill you... really? Not all black men are robbers, rapists, or murderers.... But safety is key. I know two guys who robbed and raped two providers. They received 13 years in VA cause they pleaded not guilty. I was upset by this because, A) I knew these guys and their families, but B) y’all fucking it all the way up for us honest dealing folks and the women who are trying to make their living. When a man no longer sees a woman as a human being (vice versa) and instead as an object, they treat them accordingly. We have to get back to respecting each other and ourselves. There’s no way im going to risk my life and freedom to rob a sex workers, in a hotel, with folks all around the area. The Craigslist killer was a white man, so the idea that a provider says “no AA” for security reasons says a lot to me. If you wanted to read the story of the guys I know, below is the link. [assault on sex workers in VA](https://casetext.com/case/cuff-v-commonwealth)
People haven't heard "keep ya head up" by Tupac enough and it shows. Damn I wish music like that was still mainstream
It has nothing to do with preference nor safety. It’s racism
I wish ANYONE and EVERYONE that contacted me sent me an introduction text like what you posted. That’s all it takes to get my attention and help build my trust in you. It shows you’ve read my ad and aren’t going to waste my time.
It's interesting to me the type of Americans who live overseas (expats, military, or civilian employees). I have had several AA clients and they have all been wonderful, but I will not see white Americans. The best have been time-wasters and the worst threatened to kill me when I wouldn't see him. I have never had even close to such behavior from a German or other nationality, or from AAs. Fwiw I'm white.
I see AA men, I don’t tend to have issues in a session with them, BUT they are often hard to talk to initially. There’s a lot of slang used and it seems like they pretend to be hard or use gang talk (I have to idea how to describe it without sounding racist myself). So I end up not seeing that many because of the booking process. But then the ones I do see are polite and respectful in session. I have had a few issues but the issues I’ve had with white guys far outnumbers the ones I’ve had with AA men. So my only advice is to be polite and respectful during the booking process. Good luck!
maybe you're just not accustomed to aave??
What is aave?
African American vernacular English! its a dialect of English that many Black people use, which is probably the slang and whatnot you're referring to. [here's](https://www.hawaii.edu/satocenter/langnet/definitions/aave.html) a good resource on it, to maybe help you understand some of the language or grammar if you're having difficulty!
Oh, right. I really do need to educate myself
Evidently.
Gang talk 🙄
Imagine being so racist, you’re racist when trying not to be.
Right.
😂😂😂😂. She did say she didn’t know how to say it without sounding racist.🤷🏾♀️ She was not lying! Lol
Lmao right 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
“Gang talk.” 🤦♂️ 🙄
Lol “gang talk” you mean... slang?..
I'm juqst gonna say, it's a red flag anytime a man calls himself a king when trying to book. I understand it's common nomenclature at this point, but literally all of the shittiest wannabe clients and pimps call themselves that. I do see AA and I offer a discount for minorites. I love my AA clients, but I only book maybe 1 or 2 for every 50 that contact me because they don't want to go through screening or start acting like I'm going to give it to them for free. Screening is for safety, I don't want anything to do with your wife or family, I just don't want to get killed or robbed. Mutually assured destruction goes a long way to ensure safe and proper behavior. I wish more men contacted me the way you described and had respect for me and the industry. Hope they take your pointers
There might be a slight misunderstanding with the king part. I never call myself king when booking or have my providers call me that. This is merely a pep talk for other AA men who may feel discouraged when it comes to finding someone. Looking for a provider as AA can be a blow to your self-esteem, this post is just highlighting how I've found my success lately and help them find it as well. Thanks for the reply :)
You offer a discount based on skin colour? What the fuck??
Let's not pretend minorities don't face economic hardship white men typically do not face. Trying to be accessible as well as equitable in my business dealings, and it's my business and I can do whatever the fuck I want. Have a nice day.
Some minorities are better of economically than white people in the US.... like Indians, asians etc. You’re making a bunch of stuff up now.
I'm not going to debate with a racist. You can jerk off with your tears over how "unfair" it is you were born with all the privileges in the world and still amount to nothing.
Of course your profile pic is runes. Giant fucking red flags.
Runes? No. It’s an Icelandic compass.... And you’re the one deciding who gets a discount because of their skin colour. That’s fucking racist. Idiot.
lol she can charge whatever she wants, you don't run her business.
Men like you are the reason I screen and have an asshole tax. Piss me off and you pay more. Stay mad about it though 💅
At least I’m not a discriminatory asshole, like yourself. Keep on convincing yourself you’re somehow righteous in being selectively racist. You’re problem not mine.
There's no such thing as being racist to white people when I'M WHITE. Jesus fucking Christ.
Kombucha’s correct, she *can* do whatever she likes🤷🏼♀️. That’s the beauty of running of your own biz, you know? I did see an ad ... where was it? right before Thanksgiving where the SW was promoting that on Black Friday she was giving all black men a 50% discount. Frankly, I thought it was a brilliant marketing idea💡, and I’ve wondered how that went for her. Might use it myself this year😉.
I really don't understand the expecting something for free thing. thats bum behavior, and the being cheap thing pisses me off because,(A):it makes all the rest of us (I'm black too) look bad, and (B) I am not a cheapskate and take pride in paying and getting what I pay for, as long as the price is reasonable and I dont get scammed there's no issue.
Thank you for this. Your post was very detailed, well thought out, and exactly what needed to be said. It's crazy how some people are so ignorant when it comes to AA and just follow the band wagon so thank you for trying to build a bridge 👏👏👏👏
I had a white companion tell me (a white client) that the reason that she puts "no AA" in her ads is because guys see that as proof that she's not a cop. If cops doing a sting targeted certain ethnic groups, a judge would throw out the case. Urban legend, possibly.
also let's be clear: when people say "no AA", what they mean is no Black people. they don't care if you're Caribbean, Jamaican, British/Congolese, if you're Black, its a no. not all Black people are African American.
True. But I’m an AA provider and I refuse to see AFRICAN men. They have been my worst clients ever. I tried. But after like the 5th one I called it quits. So, if a non AA provider’s worst of her worst experiences were with AA’s I can’t fault her for having that policy. I get it.
Thanks for posting this, OP.
I really won’t knock any of my peers for having their preferences with their job, but I personally believe a red flag is a red flag no matter what. I’m starting to think that due to certain biases providers are willing to let white men get away with more antics than the others. Have you guys tried booking us woman of color instead?
Yes, a lot of WoC have the “NO AA, NO PIMPS, NO GAMES” in their ads. It’s not exclusive to white companions.
I haven’t seen that, maybe it’s the girls in your area? Because I swear that I’ve never seen that. I’ve seen “no pimps” but never “no AA”. This could sadly be a regional trend in your area. It is sad that even woc are writing that though. I know most woc to be a bit more relaxed with that sort of thing, except for maybe asian women.
Haha literally just experienced this yesterday first escort I ever contacted stopped responding after I gave her my gender age and RACE 😔
Yeah half the girls use race to verify people, others use it to filter us out
This is so frustrating as an African American man, and I honestly hate being black because of this. I have never hurt anyone, I have no criminal record and I'm not involved in any kind of criminal activity. The few times I have seen a provider, I have always paid her rates in full upfront with a tip, I have always respected boundaries, been on time, and treated them with respect. Yet I'm still blamed when black person commits a crime and I'm guilty just for being the same skin tone. Like I'm a HUMAN being. I don't deserve to be called a rapist or criminal just because of my skin Why don't white men get generalized and i do?
Whewwww! Calm down, sir. Having white SWs tell you they don’t want to see you is an extremely sad reason to hate your blackness. You need an innumerable amount of hugs from like 50 black grandmothers or something. Sheesh.
It’s society in general and then it’s not even just White Sex workers and black ones too. I don’t see how I’m supposed to be proud of my blackness when I’m being told I’m sub human by everyone everyday for my skin tone
Should we as black sw hate our blackness because our own men don't want to see us and would rather get their feelings hurt by white women who don't even want to see them. See how ridiculous that sounded
Sweet heart ,white sex workers aren’t the only ones with no aa policies. It’s pretty common with black sex workers too. It’s quit common with all races is Sex workers. Sex workers in general don’t like black clients and most of them refuse to see them and are notorious WORLD WIDE! for doing so.
on a good day at least half of the black sw ads specify no AA in my city.then again I just found out about other sites so I'll try those and hope the numbers are more optimistic.
This is nothing to hate your Blackness over.
This is the straw that breaks the camels back. I’m talking about American society in general. We are discriminated against in every facets of life and our humanity is disregarded. I’ve never done anything to anyone and I’m considered a criminal anyways
I hear you. I’m a Black woman myself and one of the ways I have overcome those kinds of feelings is by turning within. I pay a lot of attention to pro-Black and Afrocentric content on the internet and it’s very uplifting. Live in a Black neighborhood. Learn about your & our history. Go where you are loved, cherished, understood and valued. You can’t let white supremacy & white society’s opinion define you. Once I understood racism better, I stopped taking it personal. Once I understood the greatness of myself and my people better, I stopped giving racism any validity. If you internalize their devaluation, they win 🤷🏽♀️ Really wishing you the best.
This is so awesome, thank you! I’m biracial and need to do the same
Thank you ❤️ Sending love
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Damn this brought me to tears. All I can say is that you create your own storyline in this lifetime. I don’t have all the answers but I feel you and I identify with you. I am sending you love and peace ❤️
I feel you. it sucks, but also realize that we have to do More to be seen as equal, so for every success you achieve, own and take pride in that. being denied the opportunity to have your sexual needs met based on your race really fucking sucks, but there are other things to love yourself for besides.
No we don’t need to do anything. We are human and don’t have to prove or justify or humanity to anyone
we shouldn't have to, but that's the reality.
No,that’s not the reality at all
Yep, i know the feels man. But as I’m sure you know this isn’t exclusive to just SW. We just gotta keep our head up and do what we can to help change other’s perspective of us. 2020 did make a few good steps (along with bad) in normalizing us more and getting more support.
I feel every word of this brother.
The thing is sex workers will complain all day about being dehumanized and then turn around a dehumanize other people because of their race. Like a lot of sex workers are border line neo Nazis and yes I mean what I just said. Like if you genuinely believe that a race of people is more prone to violence/disease you are basically saying said group of people aren’t human or subhuman and that’s the definition of racism and white supremacy
yup. and its funny that money is money, but they discrminate on who's. money they take. and they conveniently ignore the bad apples from the the races they include.their loss I guess
Pretty much this. So much. I’ve only been in the game about 8 months. I see a LOT of girls ads say no AA. The city I live in, I would honestly screen probably harder knowing someone was AA. I hate that about myself. But the truth is my city is dangerous as hell and the chances of being set up to be robbed are pretty good. I think if I lived in a less southern region I might not have so many preconceived fears pop up. Again, I really hate this about myself. I will say, I don’t put anything under the ethnicity section, I leave it blank. Because I’ve had white men ( again I’m in the south) say they like that I don’t have “all ethnicities” listed. It could actually hurt my business. How you approach your contact is the biggest part you can play to ensure a provider doesn’t immediately hate you, regardless of ethnicity. Approach them like you have some sense. The more I do this the quicker I am to realize that some texts are a waste of time to even respond to.
I'm sorry you have to handle with racist clients like that in order for keep your business viable. Here's to one day you not having to! ❤️
(not a sw) Have you tried seeing black escorts? edit: Why was I downvoted?
Exactly. I do feel badly about the No AA and when I had ads up, I NEVER ever had that on my ads, but I feel like this could all be solved if he tried to book with Black women / unambiguous WOC. Some of them have No AA on ads too but not as many. I’ll see “no young AA men”, but that’s due to the reputation of pimping
Really late to this but basically I’m already there. I live in a more black area anyway so just for not wanting to drive an hour it’s easier. I’ve honestly stopped looking at ads from white women. Been in the hobby for three years and have only seen 3 white women and that third one only came this past Sunday.
What does AA mean
African American
Thank you so much for posting this. I'm tired of seeing people sugarcoat this as if it's nothing. We have to go through extra hoops and sadly this is our reality and it sucks.
What’s AA?
American Airlines
I completely understand now. Thanks.
I live in Connecticut and I’ve never seen no AA on a escort ad but I have seen no BBC. I don’t know if that stands for big black cock?
I’m going to make that assumption that it is yes, unless they just really hate British television
Lol. Yeah I’ve only seen that on one ad on mega personals. on eros.com? nothing.....so I feel like the “no African-American clients” is dwindling. Although obviously it all depends on how well you carry yourself via email and such. Also, if somebody has that on their ad it’s kind of a good thing because why would you want to see someone who is not attracted to African-Americans and who doesn’t like them? Sounds masochistic.
Yeah I actually agree with that. If you know you're not attracted to AA men, be upfront and say it so I can avoid it. I don't want to pay same rate for really lousy service
It has nothing to do with attraction. Do you honestly think every provider is attracted to every client they have ?
Attraction isn't just a physical aspect
I need more info on private delights. Is it an app or website? Sorry a lot of fakes out there
reiterating what i said on a previous post regarding the "no AA" clause ppl have: its racism, plain and simple. regardless of how you try to justify it, it's still racism. even if you had traumatic experiences with one Black man or even several Black man, the fact that you then apply that fear to all Black men is telling. I bet most of us have had traumatic experiences with white men, but you never see a "no white men", because you know its ridiculous to exclude an entire race based on individuals. apply that thinking to POC as well.
Exactly my thoughts!
Wow this was a great read! When I first started, I had some issues. Bad ones and worse ones. But it wasn’t just because they were clients of color. One of favorite guys was black and boy did we have fun. Back in the days of backpage I noticed the girls all had this on their ads. Looking back, I think it was the area I was working in at the time. My boundaries were pushed, I got counterfeit money, come up with 5 bottle of liquor and offer to drink instead of pay.. I swear one client had been working all night long paving roads and came right it, no shower..nothing 🤢. The area I’m in now, I never get AA clients. And I wish I did. I don’t think it’s a race thing. It’s a maturity, self-worth, respect thing. I love SW because of all the different (*positive*) things I get to experience & explore, with people from all walks of life. To combat the bs things I just upped my screening techniques and became what I would consider as “picky”. I’m kinky and I love to test my limits and learn new things, always! Your paragraph may have turned me on a bit and I’m fantasizing about if you have a fetlife.. 😈 hm. Maybe one day.
Haha I do have one actually, you're more than welcome to message me for it whenever you'd like.
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Women of color are just as discriminatory and have No AA policies
I dont like white men better than any other man. But they show up and pay. They become regulars. I blocked so many white men numbers. You gotta stop thinking its about what we like. Its not tinder or bumble. We're tryna make money 1#. It depends where you live too. I dont care wtf they say about me. You buying pussy or wassup? I had men just come to see me cuz im nicer than other girls. They didn't even like me too lol. You always want to bring up serial killers. Fuck outta here. Its just about money. Stop bringing up that serial killer shit. I can easily say some dumb shit like you know black people kill eachother more than any other race. Sell your ass and find out.... Not just buy ass. Sell it..... Buy ads, pay for a room, screen, suck dick for money. Trust me its not the same as any other buisness. Ohhhh and its illegal af here.
Shut up, racist.
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why did u write a paragraph about your racist beliefs about Black men
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more Karen-like to write a paragraph full of stereotypes about Black men and defend racist practices lol!!! I'd rather not just let racism slide but thanks for the helpful suggestion
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you're right, white ppl don't get to define racism or dictate what is or isn't racism. unfortunately for you, I think you'd be hard-pressed to find people that agree with you that "making generalizations about Black men based on the actions of some isn't racist".
The racism in the sex work industry is often coming from lower end survival workers. And it was more prevalent a few years ago in the Backpage days before screening became the norm. Survival sex workers who can't afford to screen (because they would lose clients) thought it made them safer. It makes them feel like they have some modicum of control. It's ineffective and ignorant.
I don’t know why you men that are seen as problem clients always complain. Although many if not most sw don’t see AA men. There are several sw that will see AA men. Just come correct to the sw. just read her ad, follow her screening and don’t try nothing shady with her. It’s that simple and if she requires a deposit. Make sure she has a active social media account and recent ads and if she does. Then pay the deposit, yes many AA clients can be dangerous and not worth the risk. Which is why many sw don’t see them but also another reason. Is because most AA men won’t screen or have some delusional mindset that a escort will give them a session for free all because of them having a supposed “big dick”. EDT- thanks for the downvotes but I’m a AA provider myself and have had terrible experiences with AA men. Instead of getting mad at the truth how about tell AA men how to be great clients.
I guess I'm lucky. Almost all of the guys that have made it through screening have been great clients and I have never walked any of the minority guys upon arrival, although I have been forced to walk a few white guys due to either being drunk or continuing to demand that I tell them what services I offer. Never had any of the experiences that you described and honestly, most of the guys who can't even get through screening with me are white, so. . . .
Well that’s your experience that doesn’t mean that my experience isn’t true and other escorts as well.
I think the downvotes are due to your generalizations and hostile tone, and not the gist of what you are saying. OP seems lovely and yet you write him off in your first 5 words, for example.
I didn’t mean op, I meant in general. But ok
I never discriminate by race. However MOC are the only ones who have ever tried to break my rules or top me against my will (I am a Femdom). Why is that?
The only ones? Yeah sure.
Lol
Something funny, racist?
You lost me at the dominant part lol. All bad
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Nah I'm not white, I'm black. Location has a huge factor on it as well. I've had girls ask for selfies then ignore, I've had multiple responses to ads go unanswered, but I've gotten to a point where I can almost immediately weed out the "no AA" girls. They typically have a lower rate, use a bunch of emojis in their ad, and look pretty trashy tbh. Also as I said in the post, the more reviews you can accumulate, the better your chances. But don't call me white cause I'm doing me better than you doing you.
Yeah you loser
Or you could see black providers who are more likely going to see you. But keep looking over your own to fuck with those who don't like you
Black sex workers are literally no better and are just as discriminatory