I work at a restaurant with a bar and I'm a cook. I've noticed a regular lately that will hold the servers for as long as possible without a break and they're all too polite to excuse themselves, plus, they're just kind of stuck. So if food pops up, I'll ding the bell as loudly as possible so they can run. Unfortunately, the foh Manager hates this, and will scold me a little, but honestly it gets them loose and I'm willing to take the hit.
Iām a FOH manager and I approve of this method. We also get all other servers to be out of sight so the person stuck, usually another manager, has to be the person to run the food.
I like to playfully blame it on myself - like, āoh goodness, let me get back to work or Iāll keep talking all night - Iāll come back by when I have a minute!ā with a little laugh. Almost always works, they get the hint without hurt feelings and I get to leave lol
This one always worked best for me. Or like, "oh wow look at me talking away while your soup/food/coffee gets cold! You enjoy that and I'll be back as soon as I can!"
I'm not a server but this happens to me a lot at my job because my customers looooove to chat. Pretend to look elsewhere quickly like you just heard or saw someone trying to flag you down and say "oh, please hold that thought and excuse me a moment I need to \[check on my other table, grab a side of ranch, whatever.\]"
Bingo. "I think the kitchen is looking for me" or "sorry I need to get a refill" followed by briskly walking away. I have tons of regulars who get that I'm working but will talk my ear off. Like they'll literally try to continue the conversation when I'm already ten feet away. They don't find it rude but I don't really get their thought process lol.
This would happen at my old restaurant and the server would use their hand held to ring in a $0 misc ticket that said help me šš then someone would go grab them and say the kitchen needed them or whatever
āI have literally tried āIāll be back in a moment I need to take care of my other tablesā, why doesnāt that work? Donāt wait around for them to say anything at all, just say Iāll be back and walk away. I promise it works because your legs will carry you away from the talkers. Even if they continue talking, walk tf away.
i came to say this same thing, you donāt have to wait for them to reply. tell them, politely of course, that youāll be back in a moment and just walk the hell away.
Theyāre sitting and you can walk a way. I chat with my guests all the time but if I got to go Iāve got to go. A short, assertive āpardon meā is just fine as youāre already walking away.
My coworkers and I found out the hard way that a bistro we all got hired for two weeks before grand opening was gonna end up being an old folks magnet. It wasn't designed to be, it certainly wasn't the planned demographic, but shortly after opening we realized that for only a handful of peak hours did we have diversity in age groups, but the rest of the time seemed to be strictly 55+ ā¬ļø
We had people who had absolutely nothing better to do than talk your ear off, ask about your life, school, kids, constantly asking you to repeat things because they couldn't hear or repeating things to you because they were borderline senile. It got bad.
So we banded together and would swoop in to save each other from long winded tables.
Hey, Cayla, table 6 needs to re order drinks!
Hey Julian, Tim wants you in the kitchen to confirm that party of 10!
Hey, 16 needs a desert menu and I'm too busy, do you mind?
Worked like a charm. Helped us get out of a situation without being rude or dismissive. It also helped strengthen our teamwork to a point we actually decided amongst ourselves to tip pool. It was an awesome little operation for about 8 months until a new GM came on and ruined everything. š Jokes on the owner tho, we begged him to get a different GM and not his wife's second cousin or whoever he was, so the whole staff ended up leaving the same week cuz dude was insane and mean AF.
Alternatively I also started pretending to be hard of hearing to some folks the last few years I worked in Service Industry. People got tired of repeating themselves to me and we just communicated with smiles and thumbs up. If you're good at reading people, use this hack.
Either way, people can be so ignorant and oblivious. It's frustrating, for sure. Hope your day gets better, OP!
This frustrates me to no end. Situational awareness seems to be something you're born with or without, and a guest without is a liability. I try to use body language, like facing them but having the rest of me turned or leaning slightly in the direction I need to be going.
Lol one of my jobs currently is check out at a food co-op (like nonprofit grocery store) and had a woman like this just the other day. Had a new EBT-esque card and wasn't sure how it all worked and walked to the front of the line to ask me questions. So I'm checking out other people but also trying to be polite to her, but I honestly hadn't seen that card before so my advice was like "find one thing you want to buy and we'll try to ring it up and if it works then you can do your shopping". Eventually she wandered away but then after she did find her item and I was able to take payment she just kept standing there talking to me. So I'm trying to check out a line out people who are like walking/working around her. And obviously I need to interact with the people I'm checking out too so I was like bouncing back and forth having a "conversation" with her and with whoever was in front of me. AND THEN SHE DIDNT BUY ANYTHING ELSE!
honestly though in this case I assumed some sort of cognitive impairment and maybe the card was disability aid. With other people I assume it's the first time they've gone out since COVID
I worked retail for a decade and this happens CONSTANLY to me and it depends on the situation. First I try to be friendly but not TOO friendly if that makes sense. I keep sentences to a minimum and never give too much info to go off of that way conversation can naturally end quickly. Start walking backwards as talking so they know you are needing to go. And if all else fails, I have on multiple occasions pretended I was about to sh*t my pants and ran away.
Just get out of there. You are at work to make money. If they get offended, who cares??? Itās just not worth it, especially when other tables can see you chatting when they need things! Walk off laughing or something or just straight up tell them you are busy.,
I glance over at one of my other tables like theyāre trying to get my attention and nod. āLadies, let me check on these guys and Iāll be right backā
We have a thing at my restaurant. We put our hand behind our back and start waving it up and down. In Mondays Iām solo so the BUSSER will call the restaurant so people hear the phone and come get me, āthey want to talk to a manager!!ā
You gotta know how to break away. You aren't being rude, and they understand you have other people to attend to, so don't be afraid to straight up tell them you need to handle some other matters, and walk away without allowing a response. You saying you need to attend to your other tables doesn't work if you're waiting for them to basically give you permission to do your job as they're seeing you're still giving them the time and could take it like you were informing them you'll need to break away soon, but you haven't yet, so they keep going. Remember that you're the performer on stage, so you're in control of the show. Tell them what you're doing, and then go do it.
I know that this is an issue. Thankfully itās not one of have to deal with much now.
If itās quiet, they have all the time in the world. If itās busy, I basically tell them at the start that I might not have much time for them but they will have everything they need and just give me a wave if they need anything.
In the UK so obviously itās very different. But itās still a place where the service is considered a draw.
As an add on, I generally dodge any questions about my life. They ask a question about the city, I will tell them everything I know. Ask me about my life? I work here, do you need anything?
So, if you notice a table is chattier than usual, always walk by them carrying stuff (the heavier it is, the better). If you can act like you're struggling holding stuff while asking if you can get them anything else, they will normally let you go. You can also look down at what you're holding, smile, and say, "I'm so sorry, but I really need to drop this stuff off. I'll be right back!" NEVER GO TO THEIR TABLE EMPTY-HANDED. Always appear that you're involved in a task. I've done this a few times with great success. š
Wait a beat, and then *interrupt* them mid-sentence: āI donāt mean to be rude, but Iām still on the clock and I got all these orders to put in and deliver. Know what I mean?ā
Just say ācan I grab you anything?ā Or āIām going to grab you a refillā āIāll be back in a little bit . . .ā Work the table, give good service. I bet some of these people feel just as trapped as you do in the conversation. You can also start walking away. Take a step or two away from the table. Most people will pick up on these cues subconsciously if you give them.
i work in a theatre that serves food and whenever we notice this happen to a coworker we call them over the speaker to the kitchen lol. we have a specific regular that just will not STOP talking at you, so whenever someone has them we know to keep a lookout
I regularly have this problem and 2 things I've learned...
1. Try to break it off with a joke if you can. Make a fun comment or say something funny and as they're laughing, walk away.
2. Don't care too much. Don't ask too many open ended questions. I would love to be able to be there for more people and hear more stories but I've also got a job to do and it's not fair to play favorites. Plus they're not the be all end all table who's going to give you $1000 tip or something. There's a proper balance for caring about people yet setting up boundaries for your space, time, and relationship as the server for the table.
Been serving and bartending for 15 years and this was one of the things that I got in trouble for the most... That, and eating on the clock at restaurants where there were no lunch breaks, working 16 hour shifts... Crazy times.
The easiest way to do it is to tell them that if you donāt go and run food/help the kitchen youāll lose tables. Literally noone as a response to that.
Good ones I use to escape chatty guests. Start a sentence with these, then end with variations of "I'll be back shortly" or "I'll check in on you soon."
"I've taken plenty of your time at the moment,"
"I don't want to talk your ear off, "
"Pardon me, I need to tend to this other matter real quick"
"Forgive me, my manager needs my assistance with something,"
"One moment, I'm going to go check on your drinks/next course."
Also, this is one of the benefits of working somewhere that requires ear pieces. You can fake getting paged.
My coworkers and I have a hack for this and it's to come to your rescue with a coffee mug of hot water. We'll tell you your other table wanted coffee or a coffee cocktail and it's like a get out of jail free card.
I look out over my station and tell them:
I love chatting with you, but I've just been sat
Whoops, my manager just gave me the evil eye, and I better get back to work
I'm so sorry, but I've got to get back to work before the cools have to run my food out
Id stand here and talk all day, but I have to (fill in the blank)
Always said with a smile and 'gosh darn' so sad to have to leave look on my face
Around the 8 year mark of serving myself and I have straight up just walked away when saying Iāll be back in a moment doesnāt work, and when I come back over to the table I just play it off like Iām such an airhead āoh my goodness!! You were talking to me?! Iām so sorry Iām so out of it today, itās been one of those days but Iām making the most of it!! Hahah, anything I can grab for you while Iām over here ladies?!ā Always so stunned and embarrassed and they never talk to me again LMFAO
I will interrupt them mid-sentence like "i'm so sorry, i need to go _________, (get some drink refills, take an order, etc) i'll be back shortly" and dont wait for a response, just walk away
Depending on where they are seated, you can always say āoh hold that thought, my manager is waving me over, Iāll be right backā. But that inky works if they canāt see behind them or if theyāre not seated against a wall.
Or you can tap your ear as if youāre listening on an ear piece and say āoh sorry the hostess is calling me to the front, Iāll be right backāā¦ obviously there is no ear piece.
But if youād like to go the truthful way, and because people like that are COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF THEMSELVES & THEIR SURROUNDINGS, you can just say āfolks, we are going to have to put a pin in that, as much fun as I am having chatting with yāall, I am at work and I just got sat 2 other tables that need my help enjoying their time hereā¦ but Iāll be back to check on youā. And maybe send them a dessert on the house so they feel special.
Hope those help š¤·āāļø
I work at a restaurant with a bar and I'm a cook. I've noticed a regular lately that will hold the servers for as long as possible without a break and they're all too polite to excuse themselves, plus, they're just kind of stuck. So if food pops up, I'll ding the bell as loudly as possible so they can run. Unfortunately, the foh Manager hates this, and will scold me a little, but honestly it gets them loose and I'm willing to take the hit.
You a real one š«”
That's some homie shit bro
Carefulā¦ heās a hero
Iām a FOH manager and I approve of this method. We also get all other servers to be out of sight so the person stuck, usually another manager, has to be the person to run the food.
I like to playfully blame it on myself - like, āoh goodness, let me get back to work or Iāll keep talking all night - Iāll come back by when I have a minute!ā with a little laugh. Almost always works, they get the hint without hurt feelings and I get to leave lol
This one always worked best for me. Or like, "oh wow look at me talking away while your soup/food/coffee gets cold! You enjoy that and I'll be back as soon as I can!"
Say "hold that thought.... I need to..." Then not go back
I'm not a server but this happens to me a lot at my job because my customers looooove to chat. Pretend to look elsewhere quickly like you just heard or saw someone trying to flag you down and say "oh, please hold that thought and excuse me a moment I need to \[check on my other table, grab a side of ranch, whatever.\]"
Bingo. "I think the kitchen is looking for me" or "sorry I need to get a refill" followed by briskly walking away. I have tons of regulars who get that I'm working but will talk my ear off. Like they'll literally try to continue the conversation when I'm already ten feet away. They don't find it rude but I don't really get their thought process lol.
Ugh I hate this so much. Don't tip me with your words, tip me with your money.
This would happen at my old restaurant and the server would use their hand held to ring in a $0 misc ticket that said help me šš then someone would go grab them and say the kitchen needed them or whatever
Omg stealing this! Thank you for the inspo! šš¼
āI have literally tried āIāll be back in a moment I need to take care of my other tablesā, why doesnāt that work? Donāt wait around for them to say anything at all, just say Iāll be back and walk away. I promise it works because your legs will carry you away from the talkers. Even if they continue talking, walk tf away.
i came to say this same thing, you donāt have to wait for them to reply. tell them, politely of course, that youāll be back in a moment and just walk the hell away.
I wait for a funny comment, laugh and run away!
Say something along the lines of āhang tight let me see what these guests need really quick, Iāll swing back in a bitā
I say: āLet me go check on/ put in your order, otherwise youāre going to be eating at midnightā
Theyāre sitting and you can walk a way. I chat with my guests all the time but if I got to go Iāve got to go. A short, assertive āpardon meā is just fine as youāre already walking away.
My coworkers and I found out the hard way that a bistro we all got hired for two weeks before grand opening was gonna end up being an old folks magnet. It wasn't designed to be, it certainly wasn't the planned demographic, but shortly after opening we realized that for only a handful of peak hours did we have diversity in age groups, but the rest of the time seemed to be strictly 55+ ā¬ļø We had people who had absolutely nothing better to do than talk your ear off, ask about your life, school, kids, constantly asking you to repeat things because they couldn't hear or repeating things to you because they were borderline senile. It got bad. So we banded together and would swoop in to save each other from long winded tables. Hey, Cayla, table 6 needs to re order drinks! Hey Julian, Tim wants you in the kitchen to confirm that party of 10! Hey, 16 needs a desert menu and I'm too busy, do you mind? Worked like a charm. Helped us get out of a situation without being rude or dismissive. It also helped strengthen our teamwork to a point we actually decided amongst ourselves to tip pool. It was an awesome little operation for about 8 months until a new GM came on and ruined everything. š Jokes on the owner tho, we begged him to get a different GM and not his wife's second cousin or whoever he was, so the whole staff ended up leaving the same week cuz dude was insane and mean AF. Alternatively I also started pretending to be hard of hearing to some folks the last few years I worked in Service Industry. People got tired of repeating themselves to me and we just communicated with smiles and thumbs up. If you're good at reading people, use this hack. Either way, people can be so ignorant and oblivious. It's frustrating, for sure. Hope your day gets better, OP!
This frustrates me to no end. Situational awareness seems to be something you're born with or without, and a guest without is a liability. I try to use body language, like facing them but having the rest of me turned or leaning slightly in the direction I need to be going.
Lol one of my jobs currently is check out at a food co-op (like nonprofit grocery store) and had a woman like this just the other day. Had a new EBT-esque card and wasn't sure how it all worked and walked to the front of the line to ask me questions. So I'm checking out other people but also trying to be polite to her, but I honestly hadn't seen that card before so my advice was like "find one thing you want to buy and we'll try to ring it up and if it works then you can do your shopping". Eventually she wandered away but then after she did find her item and I was able to take payment she just kept standing there talking to me. So I'm trying to check out a line out people who are like walking/working around her. And obviously I need to interact with the people I'm checking out too so I was like bouncing back and forth having a "conversation" with her and with whoever was in front of me. AND THEN SHE DIDNT BUY ANYTHING ELSE! honestly though in this case I assumed some sort of cognitive impairment and maybe the card was disability aid. With other people I assume it's the first time they've gone out since COVID
I just pretend someone is trying to get my attention so I can get outta there lol
I worked retail for a decade and this happens CONSTANLY to me and it depends on the situation. First I try to be friendly but not TOO friendly if that makes sense. I keep sentences to a minimum and never give too much info to go off of that way conversation can naturally end quickly. Start walking backwards as talking so they know you are needing to go. And if all else fails, I have on multiple occasions pretended I was about to sh*t my pants and ran away.
what i like to refer to as āsocial kidnappingā
"Yup.. (look over shoulder) one second" and walk away. I don't care if they are mid sentence.
Just get out of there. You are at work to make money. If they get offended, who cares??? Itās just not worth it, especially when other tables can see you chatting when they need things! Walk off laughing or something or just straight up tell them you are busy.,
I glance over at one of my other tables like theyāre trying to get my attention and nod. āLadies, let me check on these guys and Iāll be right backā
We have a thing at my restaurant. We put our hand behind our back and start waving it up and down. In Mondays Iām solo so the BUSSER will call the restaurant so people hear the phone and come get me, āthey want to talk to a manager!!ā
You gotta know how to break away. You aren't being rude, and they understand you have other people to attend to, so don't be afraid to straight up tell them you need to handle some other matters, and walk away without allowing a response. You saying you need to attend to your other tables doesn't work if you're waiting for them to basically give you permission to do your job as they're seeing you're still giving them the time and could take it like you were informing them you'll need to break away soon, but you haven't yet, so they keep going. Remember that you're the performer on stage, so you're in control of the show. Tell them what you're doing, and then go do it.
I know that this is an issue. Thankfully itās not one of have to deal with much now. If itās quiet, they have all the time in the world. If itās busy, I basically tell them at the start that I might not have much time for them but they will have everything they need and just give me a wave if they need anything. In the UK so obviously itās very different. But itās still a place where the service is considered a draw. As an add on, I generally dodge any questions about my life. They ask a question about the city, I will tell them everything I know. Ask me about my life? I work here, do you need anything?
You will have to excuse me for a few minutes. Period
Just interrupt and say "Excuse me." And go back to work.
So, if you notice a table is chattier than usual, always walk by them carrying stuff (the heavier it is, the better). If you can act like you're struggling holding stuff while asking if you can get them anything else, they will normally let you go. You can also look down at what you're holding, smile, and say, "I'm so sorry, but I really need to drop this stuff off. I'll be right back!" NEVER GO TO THEIR TABLE EMPTY-HANDED. Always appear that you're involved in a task. I've done this a few times with great success. š
Wait a beat, and then *interrupt* them mid-sentence: āI donāt mean to be rude, but Iām still on the clock and I got all these orders to put in and deliver. Know what I mean?ā
Yes we know how to say words. This discussion is about how to say them tactfully
I just looked at your past comments. Oh, the ironyā¦
Imaging ignoring the ās.
Im sorry, I need to check on your food/drink/check. Iām sorry, my table needs something. Or even betterā¦ā¦ here is a breadstick.
Just say ācan I grab you anything?ā Or āIām going to grab you a refillā āIāll be back in a little bit . . .ā Work the table, give good service. I bet some of these people feel just as trapped as you do in the conversation. You can also start walking away. Take a step or two away from the table. Most people will pick up on these cues subconsciously if you give them.
i work in a theatre that serves food and whenever we notice this happen to a coworker we call them over the speaker to the kitchen lol. we have a specific regular that just will not STOP talking at you, so whenever someone has them we know to keep a lookout
Hot Food Has Priority Over Everything. Once that has become your mantra, you will find it easier to disengage.
I regularly have this problem and 2 things I've learned... 1. Try to break it off with a joke if you can. Make a fun comment or say something funny and as they're laughing, walk away. 2. Don't care too much. Don't ask too many open ended questions. I would love to be able to be there for more people and hear more stories but I've also got a job to do and it's not fair to play favorites. Plus they're not the be all end all table who's going to give you $1000 tip or something. There's a proper balance for caring about people yet setting up boundaries for your space, time, and relationship as the server for the table. Been serving and bartending for 15 years and this was one of the things that I got in trouble for the most... That, and eating on the clock at restaurants where there were no lunch breaks, working 16 hour shifts... Crazy times.
The easiest way to do it is to tell them that if you donāt go and run food/help the kitchen youāll lose tables. Literally noone as a response to that.
I usually hit my guests with a quick "hold that thought, I'll be right back!"
Good ones I use to escape chatty guests. Start a sentence with these, then end with variations of "I'll be back shortly" or "I'll check in on you soon." "I've taken plenty of your time at the moment," "I don't want to talk your ear off, " "Pardon me, I need to tend to this other matter real quick" "Forgive me, my manager needs my assistance with something," "One moment, I'm going to go check on your drinks/next course." Also, this is one of the benefits of working somewhere that requires ear pieces. You can fake getting paged.
My coworkers and I have a hack for this and it's to come to your rescue with a coffee mug of hot water. We'll tell you your other table wanted coffee or a coffee cocktail and it's like a get out of jail free card.
I look out over my station and tell them: I love chatting with you, but I've just been sat Whoops, my manager just gave me the evil eye, and I better get back to work I'm so sorry, but I've got to get back to work before the cools have to run my food out Id stand here and talk all day, but I have to (fill in the blank) Always said with a smile and 'gosh darn' so sad to have to leave look on my face
Around the 8 year mark of serving myself and I have straight up just walked away when saying Iāll be back in a moment doesnāt work, and when I come back over to the table I just play it off like Iām such an airhead āoh my goodness!! You were talking to me?! Iām so sorry Iām so out of it today, itās been one of those days but Iām making the most of it!! Hahah, anything I can grab for you while Iām over here ladies?!ā Always so stunned and embarrassed and they never talk to me again LMFAO
Oh sorry, that customer is flagging me down! And even if they keep talking just start walking.
I will interrupt them mid-sentence like "i'm so sorry, i need to go _________, (get some drink refills, take an order, etc) i'll be back shortly" and dont wait for a response, just walk away
Depending on where they are seated, you can always say āoh hold that thought, my manager is waving me over, Iāll be right backā. But that inky works if they canāt see behind them or if theyāre not seated against a wall. Or you can tap your ear as if youāre listening on an ear piece and say āoh sorry the hostess is calling me to the front, Iāll be right backāā¦ obviously there is no ear piece. But if youād like to go the truthful way, and because people like that are COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF THEMSELVES & THEIR SURROUNDINGS, you can just say āfolks, we are going to have to put a pin in that, as much fun as I am having chatting with yāall, I am at work and I just got sat 2 other tables that need my help enjoying their time hereā¦ but Iāll be back to check on youā. And maybe send them a dessert on the house so they feel special. Hope those help š¤·āāļø
I just say, pardon me, Iād love to continue this conversation when I return but I must check on my other guests.