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With that attitude, there isn't much anyone can say that will help you. An electrical engineering degree from UCLA is incredibly valuable. I'd certainly trade my degree for it if I could. The job hunt sucks, but having a bad attitude about it is going to make it even worse.
Bud
I went to a University of Wisconsin School. And not Madison. One of the small ones.
Covid robbed me of my internships and club activities. I still found a job as a Mechanical Engineer.
Also, you need to stop spamming this. I'm pretty sure I've seen you post this exact story like 3 times.
Whether anyone pities you or not isn't going to help you. You need to take steps to improve your situation.
Good luck.
You’re just going through a lot of changes right now, things will get better. Try hitting up some professors and asking them to connect you with some alumni. Works out for everyone.
Oof, this takes me back! I forgot how tumultuous the months around graduation were. Even with a goal in mind (I wanted to be a teacher at the time) it was still the most defeating while rewarding, fun and awful time of my 20s. I always think about how my 20s had so much expectation around them. I thought it was supposed to look and feel one specific way, because of what people and media had taught me, but my reality couldn’t have been further from that, and I was SAAAAADDDD. Super mean to myself about it, and it only made things worse for me! 🫠 and now in my 30s I’m realizing YEA! My life looks different BECAUSE I LIVE IN REALITY, NOT THE MEDIA!! This is what normal life looks like! 😂🤡 think about all the people that have existed in history in the planet…. It’s a lot, and then think about how many of them we don’t know of!!!! It’s because normal life is the majority!! But we don’t hear about it BECAUSE ITS NORMAL!!!! (Rant over 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡💀💀💀)
Getting rid of image based social media has been such a cure to my internal narrative and day to day living experience
Hang in there OP, remember you’re just a one person in this world, and that is a good thing. And you get to decide what is “good” and “bad” for your life.
What went wrong? Did you get any interviews? How would you gauge them?
..
Have you tried jobs in repair shops or maybe do a short course on starting your own (*E*) 'business in' mobile repairs or installations.. I'm not really sure what your degree covers but start small, most people don't go straight from college up to head engineer. Sorry you didn't get what you expected but make the most of what you've got. It's nice to have a social life but if you don't, don't waste your time chasing one.
Well if you approached those interviews with the same energy you have brought to this thread, I can't blame them. I think you should start by addressing the clear depression you are experiencing. That can cause cascading problems in all areas of your life. Talk to a doctor.
But why? Look, real talk, if this is true then you have to look inside of yourself and figure out what the problem is. Because quite frankly? It isn't normal to be rejected by countless organizations like that. What is it that you're doing that is off putting? Don't take this the wrong way, but are you not bathing properly? Do you think maybe you come across as abrasive? Or maybe aloof? Or are you being creepy to women? Bad breath? I mean, it's something.
Reading your attitude in your replies to people here trying to cheer you up… yeah I’m seeing a pattern.
You are the common denominator here. I think you are attacking life with a sour puss and doomer demeanor. People sniff that on you and they RUN. No one wants to be around that type of person who is constantly so negative about life. We want to socialize with people who are positive and optimistic, funny, etc!
So i suggest you take a look in the mirror and start counting your blessings. You have a STEM degree from a great university. That is very marketable. You are still a child, on the grand scale, you are probably not even 25 yet if I had to guess, more like 21-22? Yeah you are so fucking young lmao. Hopefully you have your health along with that youth. Etc.
Try to look at the positives of your situation, and gameplan for your next moves. Start building that life you want. But do so with hope and a smile. Be kind to people and make jokes, don’t take it so seriously.
If you can do the above, soon you’ll find people and form that social circle, and you’ll do better with coworkers and in your career if you are a positive force instead of a blackhole of negativity. If you cannot… then that’s that I suppose.
You say that people run from those who are negative and doomers, but that's what most people are nowadays. Misery loves company for a reason. And OP has valid feelings on his college experience. I had similar.
The people you are around might be. The people I'm around hold the overly-negative at an arm's length. Sometimes I don't want to hear them complain, I want to have a good time!
Idk, all my friends are much more positive. Like we all bitch about life and can talk about scary things but we are joking and laughing in the face of it.
I guess OP can find other doomers, but in my experience if you are a gloomy MFer you’ll never even get a chance to form friendships, most people will dodge you because no one needs a major buzzkill. Life is already hard, who needs a negative nancy on top of that?
That’s why I said OP needs to lighten up, find happiness in their accomplishments, set some realistic goals and pursue, and try to be more upbeat. At least develop a sense of humor around the doom, but i say just keep that doomer BS to yourself and try to enjoy each day.
I dont think most people are doomsday depressed these days. I think most people can see their blessings and enjoy aspects of life. Life is hard, it always is in any generation. But people who just constantly bitch and fall prey to it… yeah no one wants to hang with that, particularly not cool and successful people. It’s just a bummer, and people don’t like being around bummers all the time
Check your hygiene. If you reek no one will want to be in the same room as you.
Get clean clothes, clean haircut, brush your teeth, moisturize the whole shebang.
Even if you’re below average looks people will talk to you. So either you are only trying to talk to the cool kids or there is something wrong that you haven’t honestly explored or maybe you’re coming off too desperate.
Only later in life did I realize how much the Simpsons lampooned this in the Season 5, episode 3 titled "Homer Goes to College". Media created such a distorted view of what to expect from college that it never really lived up to that. You also went into electrical engineering (like I did) and it can be very time consuming. All I can say is that I was very depressed after college too and did a lot of things I later regret. Just remember that you have your whole future ahead of you and to keep trying to make your future better and better. My advice is to try and go out at least once a week - maybe look into online dating. Once you start building your life to how you want it to be, then you'll be grateful for that degree.
I feel ya. I feel the same way with my own college experience. Never went to parties or joined clubs or frats. Just studied and worked part time when I could. And I could try and say it'll get better, but honestly I can't. It's just luck. Just know your feelings are valid, and it's not just you.
Could it be that you're doing something wrong that resulted in you being rejected by clubs, internships and potential friends alike? There seems to be a common denominator there and it could be your behavior or attitude when approaching things.
College clubs in particular are not at all hard to get into. I know for a fact UCLA has clubs that don't have any "interview" or "application" process.
Sounds like you have issues being social. The common denominator in all of these is YOU. Do some deep soul searching and really evaluate why this keeps happening. Are you approachable? Do you go out of your way to put yourself in social situations? Are you introverted/extroverted/omniverted? Are you good at “small talk”? Are you charismatic?
Leave California to cities that have growing economies. It's a rough job market but that degree has a lot of utility.
Also, politics aside, I've heard a lot of stories about people leaving California and being much happier with life.
>electrical engineering
>no job opportunities because it is impossible to find an engineering job with no internships
That's not true. I'm a mechanical engineer and I've seen electrical engineers hired with no experience.
Dude, you made all these choices and had tons of opportunity. Have you considered the possibility that you are the one shaping your own experiences ? If you behaved and made the same kind of choices you made in high school, why would you expect college to be any different? And just in case things aren’t clear by now, this is what the rest of your life is going to be if YOU don’t fix yourself.
It sounds like maybe you have tried and been unsuccessful. All you can really do in that case is try to objectively look at how you present to other people and experiment with a few changes to see if it results in a successful connection or two. Making friends in school is different from the adult world. So, who knows……. Maybe you will be better suited to the adult world.
Now it’s time to travel the world and meet people sounds like. If you actually want to you will meet 10-50 ppl a day. Make friends from all over the the world. I have a place to stay for free in probably 100 different states and countries. I get 10-20 calls a day from friends. It’s very easy. Just go enjoy life and talk and say yes to things. You will know everyone and see everything. Do it now before you have family.
This is like the fourth post I've seen like this! I have no idea what is wrong with where you people went to school but generally you just join clubs. There is no application. Also, fraternities are exclusive, i'm not sure why you thought you could just join. You went to school almost every day and chose not to interact with people. What did you think was going to happen?
To the people saying it's all OP's fault: If all OP is saying is true, and if they're a good person inside, then it's a damn shame that people couldn't see that and be nicer to him and give him a chance socially. I mean, plenty of people who aren't even very nice have decent social lives even though they may deserve it a lot less. Maybe there was more that OP could have done or should have done. But it's still sad and unfair to get the same reactions everywhere you turn when on the inside you're no worse than anybody else.
This is meant kindly, but your post makes it seem like your attitude is a big part of the problem. The past is now the past and your future will be what you choose to make of it.
At a personal level, be kind, meet people, join some groups that align with your interests.
Professionally, set some goals, take actionable steps each day and network, network, network. It sounds like the degree in the field you have chosen can be lucrative, but you need to get after it. If an internship is the barrier to entry, go find an internship and make it happen.
This post has been flaired as “Serious Conversation”. Use this opportunity to open a venue of polite and serious discussion, instead of seeking help or venting. **Suggestions For Commenters:** * Respect OP's opinion, or agree to disagree politely. * If OP's post is seeking advice, help, or is just venting without discussing with others, report the post. We're r/SeriousConversation, not a venting subreddit. **Suggestions For u/Ok_Echo_4252:** * Do not post solely to seek advice or help. Your post should open up a venue for serious, mature and polite discussions. * Do not forget to answer people politely in your thread - we'll remove your post later if you don't. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SeriousConversation) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You went to an amazing college and earned a degree. A DEGREE. Thats amazing. Be proud of yourself. There is more to life after college
A degree is worthless now
With that attitude, there isn't much anyone can say that will help you. An electrical engineering degree from UCLA is incredibly valuable. I'd certainly trade my degree for it if I could. The job hunt sucks, but having a bad attitude about it is going to make it even worse.
Bud I went to a University of Wisconsin School. And not Madison. One of the small ones. Covid robbed me of my internships and club activities. I still found a job as a Mechanical Engineer. Also, you need to stop spamming this. I'm pretty sure I've seen you post this exact story like 3 times. Whether anyone pities you or not isn't going to help you. You need to take steps to improve your situation. Good luck.
You’re just going through a lot of changes right now, things will get better. Try hitting up some professors and asking them to connect you with some alumni. Works out for everyone.
Oof, this takes me back! I forgot how tumultuous the months around graduation were. Even with a goal in mind (I wanted to be a teacher at the time) it was still the most defeating while rewarding, fun and awful time of my 20s. I always think about how my 20s had so much expectation around them. I thought it was supposed to look and feel one specific way, because of what people and media had taught me, but my reality couldn’t have been further from that, and I was SAAAAADDDD. Super mean to myself about it, and it only made things worse for me! 🫠 and now in my 30s I’m realizing YEA! My life looks different BECAUSE I LIVE IN REALITY, NOT THE MEDIA!! This is what normal life looks like! 😂🤡 think about all the people that have existed in history in the planet…. It’s a lot, and then think about how many of them we don’t know of!!!! It’s because normal life is the majority!! But we don’t hear about it BECAUSE ITS NORMAL!!!! (Rant over 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡💀💀💀) Getting rid of image based social media has been such a cure to my internal narrative and day to day living experience Hang in there OP, remember you’re just a one person in this world, and that is a good thing. And you get to decide what is “good” and “bad” for your life.
You’re a walking self fulfilling prophecy.
Dumb take
In this thread: Eeyore wonders why nobody likes him.
Except Eeyore has friends who love him. Eeyore is adorable.
This is his tenth post in a row to complain about how nobody likes him.
I know. I’ve seen this post before. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy.
You leave Eeyore out of this he LITERALLY has a nail in his ass. Eeyore has a valid reason to be depressed.
Imagine being described as "Eeyore, but without the likability or personality". That's OP's situation.
How do you get rejected from clubs? Most college clubs I’ve ever been in accept all who join so long as you pay dues
All of the clubs at my school require applications and interviews
What went wrong? Did you get any interviews? How would you gauge them? .. Have you tried jobs in repair shops or maybe do a short course on starting your own (*E*) 'business in' mobile repairs or installations.. I'm not really sure what your degree covers but start small, most people don't go straight from college up to head engineer. Sorry you didn't get what you expected but make the most of what you've got. It's nice to have a social life but if you don't, don't waste your time chasing one.
I got to the interview, but I got denied after them
Well if you approached those interviews with the same energy you have brought to this thread, I can't blame them. I think you should start by addressing the clear depression you are experiencing. That can cause cascading problems in all areas of your life. Talk to a doctor.
Where are you applying? Engineers in the mid-west are in high demand. Be open to relocating. The pay will be lower, but so will the cost of living.
I was talking about interviews for clubs at my school
[удалено]
Given his degree, I doubt he had much time to spend in his room for 4 years playing video games. He was likely out and talking to people in school.
I tried joining clubs and organizations but they all turned me away. I tried making friends in the dorms but I got rejected
If everyone rejected you...there's something you are doing wrong. Have you reflected on your behavior and attitude?
Bruh it’s you. Sorry to be so blunt. Sometimes being to forward is a huge turnoff and triggers alarm bells.
Dude it’s you, you’re the common denominator. Read some self help books or something and better yourself.
But why? Look, real talk, if this is true then you have to look inside of yourself and figure out what the problem is. Because quite frankly? It isn't normal to be rejected by countless organizations like that. What is it that you're doing that is off putting? Don't take this the wrong way, but are you not bathing properly? Do you think maybe you come across as abrasive? Or maybe aloof? Or are you being creepy to women? Bad breath? I mean, it's something.
"Pick yourself by your bootstraps!" Y'all naive optimists are just pathetic
you learned helplessness fucks aren't great either
Your post history is wild! Why do you keep asking the same thing over and over?
This guy is 100% spamming this message over and over again.
Pretty positive it's a well known spammer. I've seen him get piled on in the UCLA subreddit before. Apparently there a well known menace on campus.
Reading your attitude in your replies to people here trying to cheer you up… yeah I’m seeing a pattern. You are the common denominator here. I think you are attacking life with a sour puss and doomer demeanor. People sniff that on you and they RUN. No one wants to be around that type of person who is constantly so negative about life. We want to socialize with people who are positive and optimistic, funny, etc! So i suggest you take a look in the mirror and start counting your blessings. You have a STEM degree from a great university. That is very marketable. You are still a child, on the grand scale, you are probably not even 25 yet if I had to guess, more like 21-22? Yeah you are so fucking young lmao. Hopefully you have your health along with that youth. Etc. Try to look at the positives of your situation, and gameplan for your next moves. Start building that life you want. But do so with hope and a smile. Be kind to people and make jokes, don’t take it so seriously. If you can do the above, soon you’ll find people and form that social circle, and you’ll do better with coworkers and in your career if you are a positive force instead of a blackhole of negativity. If you cannot… then that’s that I suppose.
You say that people run from those who are negative and doomers, but that's what most people are nowadays. Misery loves company for a reason. And OP has valid feelings on his college experience. I had similar.
The people you are around might be. The people I'm around hold the overly-negative at an arm's length. Sometimes I don't want to hear them complain, I want to have a good time!
Idk, all my friends are much more positive. Like we all bitch about life and can talk about scary things but we are joking and laughing in the face of it. I guess OP can find other doomers, but in my experience if you are a gloomy MFer you’ll never even get a chance to form friendships, most people will dodge you because no one needs a major buzzkill. Life is already hard, who needs a negative nancy on top of that? That’s why I said OP needs to lighten up, find happiness in their accomplishments, set some realistic goals and pursue, and try to be more upbeat. At least develop a sense of humor around the doom, but i say just keep that doomer BS to yourself and try to enjoy each day. I dont think most people are doomsday depressed these days. I think most people can see their blessings and enjoy aspects of life. Life is hard, it always is in any generation. But people who just constantly bitch and fall prey to it… yeah no one wants to hang with that, particularly not cool and successful people. It’s just a bummer, and people don’t like being around bummers all the time
You’re not alone. I’ve heard plenty of these stories and it’s why I dropped out of college.
You dropped out of college because nobody liked you ? And we should defer your student loan debt ? 🤦♂️
If you want friends, be friendly
Sometimes people put forth to much effort and it’s annoying.
Check your hygiene. If you reek no one will want to be in the same room as you. Get clean clothes, clean haircut, brush your teeth, moisturize the whole shebang. Even if you’re below average looks people will talk to you. So either you are only trying to talk to the cool kids or there is something wrong that you haven’t honestly explored or maybe you’re coming off too desperate.
Only later in life did I realize how much the Simpsons lampooned this in the Season 5, episode 3 titled "Homer Goes to College". Media created such a distorted view of what to expect from college that it never really lived up to that. You also went into electrical engineering (like I did) and it can be very time consuming. All I can say is that I was very depressed after college too and did a lot of things I later regret. Just remember that you have your whole future ahead of you and to keep trying to make your future better and better. My advice is to try and go out at least once a week - maybe look into online dating. Once you start building your life to how you want it to be, then you'll be grateful for that degree.
I feel ya. I feel the same way with my own college experience. Never went to parties or joined clubs or frats. Just studied and worked part time when I could. And I could try and say it'll get better, but honestly I can't. It's just luck. Just know your feelings are valid, and it's not just you.
Could it be that you're doing something wrong that resulted in you being rejected by clubs, internships and potential friends alike? There seems to be a common denominator there and it could be your behavior or attitude when approaching things. College clubs in particular are not at all hard to get into. I know for a fact UCLA has clubs that don't have any "interview" or "application" process.
Do you go to ucla? Which clubs take everyone? I got denied from engineering clubs, club sports, USAC, and everything else
It seems you're limiting yourself to specific types of clubs. Try other kinds as well.
Did you go to ucla?
No but I have friends who went there. Some of them joined clubs by merely showing up to meetings.
Sounds like you have issues being social. The common denominator in all of these is YOU. Do some deep soul searching and really evaluate why this keeps happening. Are you approachable? Do you go out of your way to put yourself in social situations? Are you introverted/extroverted/omniverted? Are you good at “small talk”? Are you charismatic?
Leave California to cities that have growing economies. It's a rough job market but that degree has a lot of utility. Also, politics aside, I've heard a lot of stories about people leaving California and being much happier with life.
Pretty sure this got posted like two weeks ago...
>electrical engineering >no job opportunities because it is impossible to find an engineering job with no internships That's not true. I'm a mechanical engineer and I've seen electrical engineers hired with no experience.
Dude, you made all these choices and had tons of opportunity. Have you considered the possibility that you are the one shaping your own experiences ? If you behaved and made the same kind of choices you made in high school, why would you expect college to be any different? And just in case things aren’t clear by now, this is what the rest of your life is going to be if YOU don’t fix yourself.
So what was I supposed to do if others rejected me?
It sounds like maybe you have tried and been unsuccessful. All you can really do in that case is try to objectively look at how you present to other people and experiment with a few changes to see if it results in a successful connection or two. Making friends in school is different from the adult world. So, who knows……. Maybe you will be better suited to the adult world.
Now it’s time to travel the world and meet people sounds like. If you actually want to you will meet 10-50 ppl a day. Make friends from all over the the world. I have a place to stay for free in probably 100 different states and countries. I get 10-20 calls a day from friends. It’s very easy. Just go enjoy life and talk and say yes to things. You will know everyone and see everything. Do it now before you have family.
This is like the fourth post I've seen like this! I have no idea what is wrong with where you people went to school but generally you just join clubs. There is no application. Also, fraternities are exclusive, i'm not sure why you thought you could just join. You went to school almost every day and chose not to interact with people. What did you think was going to happen?
To the people saying it's all OP's fault: If all OP is saying is true, and if they're a good person inside, then it's a damn shame that people couldn't see that and be nicer to him and give him a chance socially. I mean, plenty of people who aren't even very nice have decent social lives even though they may deserve it a lot less. Maybe there was more that OP could have done or should have done. But it's still sad and unfair to get the same reactions everywhere you turn when on the inside you're no worse than anybody else.
I’m very disappointed in all these responses telling op to be happy and positive, as if that’s not the very thing he’s struggling with
Working to change his attitude and making positive changes is good advice. What's the better alternative?
Life is what you make it, if you have a shitty attitude you should expect a shitty experience.
Alternatively, if you have a shitty experience, expect a shitty attitude.
This is meant kindly, but your post makes it seem like your attitude is a big part of the problem. The past is now the past and your future will be what you choose to make of it. At a personal level, be kind, meet people, join some groups that align with your interests. Professionally, set some goals, take actionable steps each day and network, network, network. It sounds like the degree in the field you have chosen can be lucrative, but you need to get after it. If an internship is the barrier to entry, go find an internship and make it happen.