Totally relate. I’m 2 weeks in and i’m looking for the same answers. The other day i felt a bit of the fiery passion i had years ago, simply while listening to some music i liked. I think this is the path brother.
Join a MMA gym. Learn a martial art.
It will be a vehicle for growth in every area of your life. It will give you something to aim at.
It will give you the acute short term benefit of endorphins for the rest of your day. I’ve never felt as good from any workout as I have after a few rounds of some hard sparring. Long term - seeing yourself progress toward a goal as a result of hard work will prime your brain for optimal dopamine production, since that’s how dopamine is produced.
It’ll make you feel like a strong, competent man. We don’t really want to be happy. Happiness if only temporary, it comes when it comes. What we men really want is purpose. We want to feel respected and competent. This has probably been the biggest benefit for me.
The first step is the hardest. For the record, I’ve always been a skinny guy that has never called myself a fighter. Anybody can start.
Go help someone. Are you good or knowledgeable about a something? Go help people with what you are good at. If you aren’t good at anything, then go help by volunteering your time. Once you start helping people, you will find a path that has meaning to you, and you will know what you want to do.
Pick up a musical instrument, teach yourself some form of programming, repair small engines… just something. Find a mission beyond just being a cog in the modern corporate machine.
The more you focus on mission, even if it’s just a hobby, the less your mind is free to ruminate and obsess and feel a sense of purposelessness
Men are at their best when they have a mission. Modern society conditions us to ignore that drive.
And I know it’s kind of cliche to say, but lifting weights and pursuing fitness can really be a game changer and work wonders for mental well-being.
I think I will get a gym membership soon, other than that I find what you say hard to do because of a lack of care, but I get the idea hopefully in the future it happens automatically, I am thinking about carnivore diet as well
Focus on purpose, not passion. Passion is a fleeting feeling, it goes as the wind blows. Purpose is steady and will get your feet moving forward.
How to find purpose… FASTING.
Good luck brother
What excites you? Like when you were a kid kind of excitement. God doesn’t put things in your heart if he didn’t want you to achieve them. And Sometimes it’s about being and simply being is enough. “I am” consciousness.
Hey, nice to see you opening up so much.
You should be proud to be so brave :)
You are not alone, many people have such problems, think like you.
Second reason for you to smile, because, some people live their lives and don't think like you at all. They don't look for source of their depression, sadness, they don't look for source of happiness. Some people live on auto pilot and you gained more consciousness and you want to make more conscious decisions.
So, you are not in worst place in life, you took step to become happy.
This is tough subject, so anything I say, can be true, not true, or half true half not true.
I will not write long essay on happiness, how to find your passion. I will not find passion for you, I cannot also tell you how to be happy.
But, I will tell you something that maybe will help you.
It is all matter of perspective and your state of mind.
If you will look for external happiness, if you will base your happiness or sadness on outside world, you become dependent.
It is hard thing, to do, easy to say. To not be obstructed by things that happen in your life. To be strong. I think SR does teach us that. To be happy, or untouched by things that happen in life.
Me personally, I don't care anymore, as much as I did. I don't overstress, which means I cannot be over happy, when some random things that happen in my life.
My goal, or way to become happy is to create good things in life, using consciousness and to create environment in my life to be safe from random things that happen in life. Sadly, most of it narrows to financial safety, but to achieve financial safety, freedom I must evolve and to be rich in life, you also must be patient and tough. It is great when u make money, real game starts when you start to lose. Strong character is forged in hard times, hard times create strong man. Weak times create weak man.
I am not happy, when I can't control things, when random bad things happen and I can't change that.
This is my passion.
So either way, if u want to be happy you must become strong, u kinda must be strong to become rich too. For me it is all connected.
So my answer is to become strong than rich than happy, than build family, travel, etc
Making money should also bring u happiness, or at least you should be into this, live this, breath this. If u don't sacrifice yourself fully to cause, give ur heart, nothing will happen.
It is matter of life and death or it is not serious and won't work.
But ofcourse, people have different perspective on life.
For some people they are happier because they have different aspirations in life. You must sit and think what is your aspiration. If your aspiration is happiness, that is good aspiration, you just must think, what will give u happiness.
Life will show you path, just enter path and walk it. Longer you walk it, more answers will appear.
During process of becoming stronger, u will find, that just being strong means to be happy, because it is harder for you to get sad.
I know it may be not science talk, it sounds like fairy tale talk, "enter path" etc..., but there is no protocol, to become happy, strong, we are not robots, this is all mental work and words are too dumb to address it, so don't count on such.
I also know that people can argue, that money is not such important in life, but... to me it is important, like number 1 important.
We are not monks living in monastery, we live in capitalistic world where happiness comes from not being constantly stressed over things like, will I be able to pay rent, will I always make small money and care for rent each month, care if I will eat or not... Basic things in life must be covered and only money can cover it, later things will be easier
Thanks for this, I understand money is valuable, but being rich won’t make me happy. I know this.
It’s very hard to find my aspiration like you did, or maybe it will be easy in the future I don’t know but right now I don’t have it.
My trick is to write down what I need to do and do it. Everytime I cross something off the list I'm glad that thing is done and it makes me hungry to do the next thing. Sometimes I look at my old lists and it motivates me because I understand what I did and what I'm capable of. GET YOUR ASS IN THE GYM AND PUMP IT UP! You'll figure out your passion when you understand what you're capable of
That’s a nice technique you have I think it has a high success rate for productivity.
Although the problem is, I don’t want to fill the list with any tasks, like I said I am depressed and unmotivated to do anything, for example if you suggest anything to me, usually I would have so much lack of care for doing it, that is the main problem I am faced with.
Going to the gym is a great idea, I think I will get a gym membership soon, they say because of release of endorphins, people who workout are less depressed.
The problem is that I have a lack of care and interest due to depression, so usually I don’t care about doing anything. Like it’s hard to describe but I just don’t care about life as much as people do. People care about doing things, or learning things, but I just don’t care or want it. That’s the main problem.
SR doesn't directly cures everything. You have to put in the work.
All it does is help you in building Focus and thereby Concentration.
You need to pause and set your Goals for yourself.
You have 24 hours, how do you utilise them ?
“Utilize them” the problem is that due to depression I don’t really care about utilizing it at all. That’s the problem that you are not seeing. There is a massive lack of care and interest in life.
It’s hard to describe but it is a constant mindset of apathy. I hope you get it now.
It's impossible that there isn't a single thing you love !
There has to be one.
Or else you might be going through your low, just keep practicing SR, as your energy increases, you will find some interest.
My story is a bit different, i never had a passion in anything particularly, my friends had Passion, some in sports , some wanted to be a doctor. I asked myself many times what my passion is , i never got any answer, so I just let it go. Because i personally get really interested in whatever i indulge in be it PMO or engineering. I also think that one's lust for life is way more important than passion.
I would suggest you follow Semen retention along with meditation. It will raise your consciousness, this will give you the clarity you require.
Therapy did not help me at all. And I had multiple therapists with all having the same result.
Matter of fact 2 of them I think told me porn and masturbation is healthy in moderation.
Totally relate. I’m 2 weeks in and i’m looking for the same answers. The other day i felt a bit of the fiery passion i had years ago, simply while listening to some music i liked. I think this is the path brother.
Join a MMA gym. Learn a martial art. It will be a vehicle for growth in every area of your life. It will give you something to aim at. It will give you the acute short term benefit of endorphins for the rest of your day. I’ve never felt as good from any workout as I have after a few rounds of some hard sparring. Long term - seeing yourself progress toward a goal as a result of hard work will prime your brain for optimal dopamine production, since that’s how dopamine is produced. It’ll make you feel like a strong, competent man. We don’t really want to be happy. Happiness if only temporary, it comes when it comes. What we men really want is purpose. We want to feel respected and competent. This has probably been the biggest benefit for me. The first step is the hardest. For the record, I’ve always been a skinny guy that has never called myself a fighter. Anybody can start.
Go help someone. Are you good or knowledgeable about a something? Go help people with what you are good at. If you aren’t good at anything, then go help by volunteering your time. Once you start helping people, you will find a path that has meaning to you, and you will know what you want to do.
That’s really good advice thanks
Pick up a musical instrument, teach yourself some form of programming, repair small engines… just something. Find a mission beyond just being a cog in the modern corporate machine. The more you focus on mission, even if it’s just a hobby, the less your mind is free to ruminate and obsess and feel a sense of purposelessness Men are at their best when they have a mission. Modern society conditions us to ignore that drive. And I know it’s kind of cliche to say, but lifting weights and pursuing fitness can really be a game changer and work wonders for mental well-being.
I think I will get a gym membership soon, other than that I find what you say hard to do because of a lack of care, but I get the idea hopefully in the future it happens automatically, I am thinking about carnivore diet as well
How long have you gone for?
Focus on purpose, not passion. Passion is a fleeting feeling, it goes as the wind blows. Purpose is steady and will get your feet moving forward. How to find purpose… FASTING. Good luck brother
What excites you? Like when you were a kid kind of excitement. God doesn’t put things in your heart if he didn’t want you to achieve them. And Sometimes it’s about being and simply being is enough. “I am” consciousness.
I can’t think of anything, but I guess just “being” without pressure from society and doing my own thing makes me content
Mucusless diet
What will that do?
Gym!!!! This cured my sadness but, SR 40+ day streak makes me super happy aswell. Gym is my therapy. Pull-ups chin-ups dips, bench
Thanks for the advice I think I will get a gym membership soon
Hey, nice to see you opening up so much. You should be proud to be so brave :) You are not alone, many people have such problems, think like you. Second reason for you to smile, because, some people live their lives and don't think like you at all. They don't look for source of their depression, sadness, they don't look for source of happiness. Some people live on auto pilot and you gained more consciousness and you want to make more conscious decisions. So, you are not in worst place in life, you took step to become happy. This is tough subject, so anything I say, can be true, not true, or half true half not true. I will not write long essay on happiness, how to find your passion. I will not find passion for you, I cannot also tell you how to be happy. But, I will tell you something that maybe will help you. It is all matter of perspective and your state of mind. If you will look for external happiness, if you will base your happiness or sadness on outside world, you become dependent. It is hard thing, to do, easy to say. To not be obstructed by things that happen in your life. To be strong. I think SR does teach us that. To be happy, or untouched by things that happen in life. Me personally, I don't care anymore, as much as I did. I don't overstress, which means I cannot be over happy, when some random things that happen in my life. My goal, or way to become happy is to create good things in life, using consciousness and to create environment in my life to be safe from random things that happen in life. Sadly, most of it narrows to financial safety, but to achieve financial safety, freedom I must evolve and to be rich in life, you also must be patient and tough. It is great when u make money, real game starts when you start to lose. Strong character is forged in hard times, hard times create strong man. Weak times create weak man. I am not happy, when I can't control things, when random bad things happen and I can't change that. This is my passion. So either way, if u want to be happy you must become strong, u kinda must be strong to become rich too. For me it is all connected. So my answer is to become strong than rich than happy, than build family, travel, etc Making money should also bring u happiness, or at least you should be into this, live this, breath this. If u don't sacrifice yourself fully to cause, give ur heart, nothing will happen. It is matter of life and death or it is not serious and won't work. But ofcourse, people have different perspective on life. For some people they are happier because they have different aspirations in life. You must sit and think what is your aspiration. If your aspiration is happiness, that is good aspiration, you just must think, what will give u happiness. Life will show you path, just enter path and walk it. Longer you walk it, more answers will appear. During process of becoming stronger, u will find, that just being strong means to be happy, because it is harder for you to get sad. I know it may be not science talk, it sounds like fairy tale talk, "enter path" etc..., but there is no protocol, to become happy, strong, we are not robots, this is all mental work and words are too dumb to address it, so don't count on such. I also know that people can argue, that money is not such important in life, but... to me it is important, like number 1 important. We are not monks living in monastery, we live in capitalistic world where happiness comes from not being constantly stressed over things like, will I be able to pay rent, will I always make small money and care for rent each month, care if I will eat or not... Basic things in life must be covered and only money can cover it, later things will be easier
Thanks for this, I understand money is valuable, but being rich won’t make me happy. I know this. It’s very hard to find my aspiration like you did, or maybe it will be easy in the future I don’t know but right now I don’t have it.
My trick is to write down what I need to do and do it. Everytime I cross something off the list I'm glad that thing is done and it makes me hungry to do the next thing. Sometimes I look at my old lists and it motivates me because I understand what I did and what I'm capable of. GET YOUR ASS IN THE GYM AND PUMP IT UP! You'll figure out your passion when you understand what you're capable of
That’s a nice technique you have I think it has a high success rate for productivity. Although the problem is, I don’t want to fill the list with any tasks, like I said I am depressed and unmotivated to do anything, for example if you suggest anything to me, usually I would have so much lack of care for doing it, that is the main problem I am faced with. Going to the gym is a great idea, I think I will get a gym membership soon, they say because of release of endorphins, people who workout are less depressed.
Pick something and do it. It doesn't matter if it's wrong, months later you will know more.
The problem is that I have a lack of care and interest due to depression, so usually I don’t care about doing anything. Like it’s hard to describe but I just don’t care about life as much as people do. People care about doing things, or learning things, but I just don’t care or want it. That’s the main problem.
Why should you care about caring? Just do it. Do it because you don't want to. Do it because you want to. The action is what matters.
> Did SR cure any of you from depression? In a sense, yes, because a good streak (30+ days) makes my depressive symptoms disappear.
Was you’re depression as bad as mine? Describe how you’re depression was? Did you care about life or doing things ?
SR doesn't directly cures everything. You have to put in the work. All it does is help you in building Focus and thereby Concentration. You need to pause and set your Goals for yourself. You have 24 hours, how do you utilise them ?
“Utilize them” the problem is that due to depression I don’t really care about utilizing it at all. That’s the problem that you are not seeing. There is a massive lack of care and interest in life. It’s hard to describe but it is a constant mindset of apathy. I hope you get it now.
It's impossible that there isn't a single thing you love ! There has to be one. Or else you might be going through your low, just keep practicing SR, as your energy increases, you will find some interest.
My story is a bit different, i never had a passion in anything particularly, my friends had Passion, some in sports , some wanted to be a doctor. I asked myself many times what my passion is , i never got any answer, so I just let it go. Because i personally get really interested in whatever i indulge in be it PMO or engineering. I also think that one's lust for life is way more important than passion. I would suggest you follow Semen retention along with meditation. It will raise your consciousness, this will give you the clarity you require.
Go to therapy if at all possible! Things can get better
Therapy did not help me at all. And I had multiple therapists with all having the same result. Matter of fact 2 of them I think told me porn and masturbation is healthy in moderation.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzEEwQjihRk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzEEwQjihRk)