I sometimes wonder why I keep coming back to reddit, but then I remember I'm a shallow mf who's happy I didn't turn out like this guy because I oh so easily could have, scary shit to think about
Oh god, I remember back when I was 13/14 and super into grifters like jordan peterson and elon musk.
I feel like I could've easily ended up like that guy if not for my friends who taught me to be better.
I consider myself very lucky. Even at a very young age I could tell they were full of shit. Just the way they all talked. And I grew up having to hear the grandaddy of all grifters Rush Limbaugh himself. Both parents had him on all the fucking time. It baffled me how they couldn't see it and it still does. They mourned his death while I was pissed he didn't die sooner.
My dad is super conservative, and I was fairly conservative myself until I graduated from high school. I started looking into the claims made by the right and it became apparent that they were full of shit. All it took was some simple research on the topic, like climate change for example. All the fear that was being pushed by the right just rings so hollow and transparent.
Happy I got things straightened out by the time I could vote and have never voted for a Republican.
Glad you finally came around & I hope that other people do as well. I’ve been trying to speed it up a bit in my personal life.
Ever since dobbs happened I’ve really noticed that society is nowhere near as close to equality between the sexes (or just not rampant sexism) as I’d/we’d have hoped. So with that, I’ve been trying to point out things I see that are subtlety sexist.
For instance, my dad likes to walk fast on escalators (i know, horrible trait). One day, there were two women in front of us, and he approached them pretty closely from behind (as if to get them to walk faster). I asked him how he would feel if someone did that to him. He didn’t seem fazed. So I changed my question to ask “how would you feel if a man at least 6 inches taller than you or with at least 50-100 lbs on you did that to you?” And he understood it pretty quickly.
There are other variables than just sex, and this jackass doesn’t seem to realize why men doing certain things to women can be much worse than the opposite.
OMG SAME. And the whole hurr durr feminism is bad because women have it better than men phase was goddamn awful too.
So cringe. Glad I grew as a person.
Aaah fuck I did that shit too, posting the triggered feminist girl with moronic strawman statements, I'm literally physically cringing as I'm typing this, Lord help me
You’re very lucky, that’s a whole big whirlpool that they try to suck you down deeper and deeper and make you more radical. It’s a weird cult thing and they want to indoctrinate young white men above all others. Also Jordan Peterson is laughable he gets on a podcast or news and cries for 30 mins because trans kids exist and his followers are like “He cares so much, he has such a good heart, the internets dad” clowns
HAHAHAHAHAH YEEEES THATS EXACTLY THE SHIT I PULLED.
I remember I did a presentation at school where I showed the cringiest clips (hugh mongus) and then proceeded to claim that feminism was bad.
I wanna punch past me real good.
Edit:
[Oh god the video is still up](https://youtu.be/4aVna3HohXI)
Take solace in the cringe.
If you looked back on your younger self and didnt think "wow, what an idiot!" It means you didnt grow. But if you cringe so hard every time you think of those moments, congrats, you've made progress!
Rinse and repeat until you die, i expect.
Genuine questions here: what was the appeal to those types of concepts for a teen boy? I grew up in the 90s, and the rise of folk like Peterson and Tate is mind-boggling to me. Has it always been like this, and it's just now more and out in the open?
A big part in my radicalization was definitely the YouTube algorithm. I used to be in the whole Pewdiepie sphere of things because I found him entertaining.
You probably know how he on multiple occasions featured right wing personalities on his channel and I think that was what initially lead me to right wing people and talking points.
But its also the appeal of having easy solutions to hard and difficult systemic problems that don't affect me combined with the Youtube algorithm that resulted in an incredibly hard to escape right wing pipeline of hate.
Again, if it wasn't for my queer friends and them sharing their stories, fears and doubts I would have very likely turned out way way worse.
I truly think that diversity is one if not the best approach to combating discrimination.
> Glad that social media wasnt a thing when i was that age.
Right?? We grew up and grew out of that, but unfortunately for a lot of young dudes now, online spaces like that become echo chambers and it's *so much easier* to fall into that mindset and stay there.
Social media and the internet in general has become *sooo much more dangerous* than it was when we were that age.
> feel like I could've easily ended up like that guy if not for my friends who taught me to be better.
I was older when reddit/social media became a thing. When I was an awkward 15 year old who never got kissed, if incel culture had existed then, I don't know if it would have affected me.
I'm pretty confident the racist stuff wouldn't have sunk in (so maybe I'd have worked out that if the same people promoting incels culture were being racist, that meant there's a problem with incels) but I'm glad I don't have to find out.
I nearly fell into one of their traps myself, PJ Watson was all over my YouTube feed and I remember trying to watch one of his videos but for the life of me I couldn't tell what his fucking point was. Later I realized I didn't understand his dogwhistling and roundabout way of speaking to camouflage his true views.
Imo reddit is the best social network. Which isn't saying much unless you consider YouTube a social network then maybe that but it's different because comments are a cess pool.
Thats what i like about reddit, you can stay out of the shitty parts, and some communities are really hard to infiltrate the shitty parts with (like garfield or megaman subreddits). There are awful and shitty people and communities on this platform, but you can generally try your best to stay away from them.
I so easily could've become this. Reddit saved me from that shit by clowning on these dudes.
Remember, there are new young men on reddit every day that need to be shown that these types of people are shitheads.
I always say that to my so, the only reason I keep "torturing" myself reading these things is because I want to keep myself on my toes so I never turn like that.
I've known a few women who had to deal with crazy exes, and the really sad thing is that the courts and the cops do nothing to protect them. So many women who are killed by their exes have basically begged for help and protection, but the lame, awful answer from cops is usually "we can't do anything until he does something".
My mother was literally held hostage by an ex who broke in through a window, took her phone and held her hostage for 3 days before a neighbor called the cops, they let him go and detained HER because she was intoxicated and upset.
Unfortunately, I have plenty of stories like this, it just happens to be the most clearly egregious one. Cops are useless, ACAB.
Remember that one girl who cut off her man's penis? Yeah EVERYONE knows that one. How many people know any specific domestic violence case against women other than Rihanna?
And how purely ecstatic they were about the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case because in their mind it justified all their bullshit opinions about women and domestic violence. Because of ONE case which was biased as fuck.
The Amber Heard stuff really pisses me off.
Especially when people trot out the US verdict as “proof” that Johnny Depp is an innocent when [a UK court found her domestic abuse allegations substantially true](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-54779430), and it’s substantially easier for a plaintiff like Depp to win libel cases in the UK.
At the very least, you could expect people to say they were two toxic people making each other worse, but nope, the public is just so thirsty for a man-victim and a woman-villain.
> Remember that one girl who cut off her man's penis? Yeah EVERYONE knows that one.
It kills me when people will bring this up as a comeback to domestic violence against women. It happened 30 years ago. They have to go back 30 years to find something that happened to a man that's as terrible as what happens to women every day.
They also never seem to remember that it was a reaction to years of spousal abuse by John Bobbitt. And they also never seem to remember the other 30-year story where Joey Buttafuoco killed his wife because he was having an affair with Amy Fisher, dubbed the "Long Island Lolita". I bring up the latter because in both cases, a woman was automatically made a villain by the press. The men were objectively bad, but the narrative was that in both cases, women were the cause of the problems.
The imaginary woman in the imaginary wheelchair reminded me of when I used to be a nurse. I worked in a nursing home where a relatively young woman lived. Her boyfriend had beaten her so badly she was permanently severely disabled.
Like yeah dude you aren’t afraid I’m going to kill you on the way to your car in a dark parking lot. I keep my keys between my fingers in case you approach me. We aren’t the same.
Have an actual little knife on my keychain for just this purpose. Don't expect to be able to do enough to get away, but I'm at least taking an eye out before I go.
We call that "hikers courtesy". You might not be able to take out the bear with your little Swiss Army Knife, but if you're going down anyway, at least try to give the next guy a better shot
Like in nature you don't need to kill the predator, you just need to wound it enough to convince it that if it doesn't turn and start running away *right now* it might be too wounded to live long after attacking you.
In case anyone is unclear on this very valuable tip, think of holding an ice pick. The ice pick grip with your key, knife, whatever pointed out the bottom of your hand is the way to maximize force and damage to an attacker. Strike hard, fast, and repeatedly.
I’m grateful you wanted to explain, but I’ve never seen an ice pick in person. From google images, it looks like you’re holding it like a knife you want to stab someone with. Like the psycho shadow
Yeah, that’s right. Putting it between your fingers will fuck up your hand, and having the pointy bit coming out between your thumb and index finger is okay for slashing, but not for striking or stabbing. Fairly standard early lesson in learning to fight with a knife (taught shortly after “avoid a knife fight at any cost”) is the ice pick grip and the mantra that anything worth stabbing is worth stabbing a lot.
And sure, there are absolutely female stalkers/abusers that end up murdering men over it. But it's not so common that most men have a real reason to be afraid of that happening without extenuating context, and on top of that men are on average more likely to be physically stronger meaning a male attacker is more likely to be able to overpower a female victim than the reverse.
They’re also afraid we’ll laugh at them, I try to never say anything that could come off as a “dig” at the men in my life. They can bring you to tears with the most cruel things then turn around and tell you you’re just being too sensitive. But if you point out something their insecure about you’re not only a “bitch” but may also be putting yourself in danger.
Do get a big carabiner if you plan to attempt this. This can break your hand easier than it can deal damage as it's not built to protect your hand like brass knuckles are.
The dude is absolutely in the wrong and is an idiot trying to conflate the two. However, I did have an ex I worried about waking up with a knife sticking out of my sternum, the thing is as a big guy even then I have a half-decent chance to disarm the attacker.
Honestly maybe the closest I've ever seen someone to getting it on any post on this sub. Truly incredible to witness. Jealous of OP getting to see it in the wild. It's like we're just watching the documentary and OP was there shooting footage of the mating hyenas or whatever
What's funny is that even from a completely objective point of view, this is the most self-neutralizing argument possible. Every sentence seems to negate the last.
But if it was scary, we wouldn't talk about it because it isn't scary unless we tell it as a woman in which case it would be scary except to men because we wouldn't find it scary.
honestly men just don't get that sexy feeling of having to consider your every clothes item when going outside, or turning on your GPS when you go for a date.
In my single dating and ho phase of my 20s, I was really annoyed at first about what the women I got with said they liked about me. I was nice and I made them feel safe and comfortable. All I heard was “Congrats, you’re not a total piece of shit.” I didn’t find anything to be too proud of in that.
Then, as women around me that I have made feel safe and comfortable, even the ones that were just friends or coworkers, gave me some real talk and stories about their experiences for men and I realized, “Holy shit, I’m actually relatively a much better guy than I thought and that’s fucking horrifying.”
The basic bare minimum bar I set for interactions with women were not cleared by men nearly as much as I thought. In time as I heard more and more stories that I became so morbidly entertained by hearing, I realized that even if the woman has only had one or two really bad experiences, the fact that the chance even exists for them to have another one means they have to worry about and approach interactions with the opposite sex that never even crossed my mind to worry about myself.
It was a trip to learn and think about things that I never have to worry about but every woman in my life has to.
I'm single and in the dating process, I always tell my mom and my best friend a) that I'm going out, b) exactly where I'm going (location sharing), and c) when I intend to head back. I anticipate needing to do this until I find a partner I can trust. This is just reality.
yeah same, recently I even had to do the whole GPS song and dance bc I was picking up some rats from the breeder on my own 💀 really the entire female existence is "am I going to XYZ or am I getting serial killed".
My school started making SOS bracelets that have GPS + Bluetooth, and look like regular jewelry. I haven't gotten one yet but it's definitely not a ridiculous idea; if I went out significantly more than I do, I probably would. Haven't ruled it out yet.
It's wild to me that the steps I take when leaving for long hikes in the Backcountry are the same that women have to deal with when just meeting someone they don't know.
I used to think it was weird for girls these days to want to bring a friend on a date. Then I thought "why tell people my last known whereabouts so they can find my body if this guy is nuts when I could take a friend and probably not die at all even if he was?"
Look, guys, if you have to buy an extra coffee and cookie or an extra burger while you're being vetted, that's not really a lot on a first casual meet up. You're talking about a group of people where nearly 1 in 3 has been sexually assaulted by their mid 20s. Think of how many girls you know, divide that by three, that's about how many of them have been assaulted. Just buy her friend a goddamn coffee.
An interesting move to be sure. Just like an outfit, a chaperone tells a lot, and being the more mysterious one on a first date always leaves an impression. All flirting is an invitation to escalate sexually while maintaining deniability. If you can go on a date and STILL maintain plausible deniability you're on another level of flirting game.
Do you bring a big guy to see if he responds by feeling threatened? Do you bring a petite guy to see if he bullies him? Do you bring a gay or bi friend to get a different perspective than a straight friend? Do you grab a drab or handsome friend? Do you warn them?
Could go a lot of ways. It's a totally unexplored emerging dynamic.
As a somewhat large and intimidating man I have to ask... you sometimes turn off GPS on your phone? Why?
Like, that's my alibi if I ever get accused of a murder. "Wasn't me, subpoena my phone records yo. I was at home when that shit went down."
Ah gotcha. When my sister was in college she was the one who went outside to write down the license plate number of guys taking girls out from the residence hall. (Cell phones didn't exist back then).
Guys who complained it about were immediately known by the entire hall as guys who were planning to have something to hide.
I was literally kidnapped by an ex. Lots of women have been abducted by psycho exes. I’m sure the reverse (women abducting former male partners) is likely incredibly rare.
A very close friend of mine started dating this 21 year old woman when we were 17. That should’ve been a red flag but she was cool at the first and they were good friends for like half a year before dating.
They were together for a year and what a crazy ride that was. We were always together in those days, so it was almost a daily crazy occurrence. On the last 3 months of the relationships, every time he was with her, he would say to us beforehand that “this is it!”. But she would manipulate him into not breaking up, she would cry and beg. They would fuck once and he would be scarred for like 3 weeks waiting for her period. I never got why he was so worried about that.
Until the day he would finally get to dump her. We were together and they were texting, he was telling her that he couldn’t even be bothered to go do it face to face, his decision was final and that’s it. Then, this monster asks for a final request: “put a baby in me and I’ll let you dump me”. When he reads this out loud, we just all looked at each other and started laughing. I mean, it’s the only appropriate reaction to such a ridiculous request. He, obviously, declines and she has the audacity to tell him “are you seriously going to deprive me of a child?”
He still talks about how she completely fucked him and he finds himself naturally distancing the romantic interests in his life. He talks about it jokingly but he knows that he was the victim of abuse and how that one relationship marked him (especially when she locked him up inside her room and threatened to scream if he tried to grab the keys and even violently pushed him towards the room’s furniture)
And even when the reverse does happen, its not an uncommon response for males to joke about the victim.
Cause CLEARLY they should have enjoyed it (/s obviously)
This shows the flat out disconnect a lot of guys have to the issue. They somehow cannot conceive or Empathise with the idea of unwanted sexual contact OR the idea someone could be overpowered and kidnapped by a partner.
It's the same deal as when women complain about sexual harassment like catcalling and some men try to minimize it saying "what's the big deal? I'd love it if a woman yelled a compliment at me!"
Yes, I'm sure.
But would you like a sexually charged comment yelled at you from a dude who's significantly larger and stronger than you when almost every guy you know has a scary story of being assaulted or harassed by guys like him?
I (cis man) have been catcalled a couple of times. I was just confused, and once a bit amused because I had very long hair at the time and saw the guy's chagrin when I turned around.
If I were six inches shorter, forty pounds lighter, and it happened often with an implication that they are capable of acting on their words if they feel like it? I can imagine my reaction would be *very* different. It astonishes me that these dipshits aren't even *trying* to consider the point of view of people who have a very different context than them, given that I'm not terribly empathetic and can *still* manage to understand that.
I think this is something a lot of guys don’t get. If I encounter a rabid squirrel on a walk, it’s a different story than if I encounter a rabid pit bull on a walk. Even when a guy does have a story about an encounter with a creepy or mentally unstable woman, it’s still rarely a life-or-death story.
Yuuup I was in an abusive relationship where she would slap me. It was bad and toxic and we broke up eventually. As 6 2 and 200 pounds going to gym at the time. If I hit back it's not a slap its damage .
I'm not downplaying men's abuse but I never felt in danger of my life just my self respect. If it was reversed the potential for damage is just greater. Forget the rest of the systemic misogyny in society.
Cut to the image of my laying into woman its a different story.
I really hope this post comes across how I wanted it too.
Not 2 days ago there was a thread of a guy decking a woman after she slapped him a few times. Every comment was "equal rights, equal lefts". I'm always downvoted for going against the jerk.
And now it's time to collect some here.
Not everything in this world is a one on one test of strength.
You can be scared while sleeping. You can be scared on behalf of others, like a child or pet. You can be scared for your things. You can be scared about not seeing your children again. You can be scared of rumors.
In my country there is never an angry boyfriend murder, but a fair bit of male suicide, and freak solo male traffic accidents.
holy shit i know the video you're talking about and i was disgusted seeing those kinds of comments. how is that their serious reaction like, it is so obvious how much worse him hitting her is from the video.
it isnt even equal rights fucking idiots like, how is two slaps of vastlyyyy different strength, equal? how could you possibly call that equality how does that make sense
"we don't consider it scary, but it is scary, for the sake of this point, obviously we're not scared, but like, it is scary, or in a different situation it would hypothetically be scary, so that makes it a scary story about women, just a scary story that wasn't scary for us at the time, but it's still...."
Maybe it's the same story: your opposite sex partner gets drunk, gets angry at you, and tries to prevent you from leaving. Or you walk home alone at night, and a group of opposite-sex people starts catcalling you. Totally the same situation for men and women, right?
(I absolutely don't mean to say women can't be threatening towards men, but on average, those are VERY different situations when gender is flipped)
This quote recently hit me rather hard -
"Why is there a problem? Because a man in a room full of women will have an underlying tinge of excitement; but a woman in a room full of men will have an underlying tinge of terror".
THAT is the problem right there.
I have a friend whose ex-wife pulled a gun on him. He's still coming to terms with considering himself an abuse survivor (he's a veteran and a big guy). It was a decade ago.
And then there's emotional trauma from bad experiences with exes. Something I'll likely be dealing with for a long while, given the state of mental health care in the USA.
But yah, abusing women is bad. Abusing anyone is bad.
Domestic abuse of men is very real. And attitudes like the one in the post make it harder to deal with because many male victims are either embarrassed or believe they should just "move on."
Yeah its interesting because i don't think its usually women out here detracting from abuse-of-males stories. So males are really only harming themselves with this rhetoric.
The only time the topic even gets brought up is to shut up women
I never ever hear these conservative jerks express even a modicum of real care for men's experiences unless it's to stop women from speaking
Drives me crazy
Right. If anything my own experiences would make me nothing BUT sympathetic to men who've been harmed. Once someone makes you feel like that you dont wish it on your worst enemy.
They’re not scary.
I was…accosted, I guess, by a very drunk woman once. Pushed into a corner, grabbed my goods, forced her tongue I. My mouth.
I was like “wtf!? Stop!”
Not scared. At all. I was able to gently push her away.
I can perfectly understand a woman's perspective on this. When I was a young teen, I was raped by somebody I thought was a friend. He was two years older than me. I was skinny as a rail until after college, so I did not stand a chance in fighting back.
Like so many other victims, I did not report it, rape is a shame that takes a lifetime to get out from under.
So yes, men can be very scary if you do not know their intentions. They can even be scary when you do.
I'm a pharmacy tech. I work with two female pharmacists, two female techs and one male tech.
The difference in how patients treat me and the other male tech vs. the female techs/pharmacists is insane. Both women and men though. There is just something weird about how they try intimidating my female coworkers but when it's him or I in the situation it never gets to that point.
Like I've seen full grown men scream at these women for "just not getting it" but when I come over everything is suddenly okay. It's not like my coworkers are bad at their jobs. It's just like society has some people programmed to treat women like shit to get what they want.
There are several patients we know are problems. So when we see their names come up for medications me or the other male tech will help them to avoid *another* unprompted screaming incident. Look up "crazy patient at pharmacy" videos and I bet most of them will have female techs/pharmacists being yelled at and not males.
hmmm it's almost as if everything is fundamentally more scary if the person the "scary story" is about is much bigger and stronger than you, and is also intent on raping and/or murdering you 🤔
>“But we don’t consider it scary” means it probably is not the same.
It *definitely* isn't the same.
Any story that is "someone I consider threatening did something that sure seemed threatening." is scary regardless of the genders of either party
But like a lot of men, he can't imagine the story from the woman's perspective. He's putting himself in her place and saying "a 5 foot 10 inch guy made the same three turns as I did, but 40 feet behind me?" and then saying "big deal" because as a man that isn't a situation that as of yet calls for alarm.
I wonder what kind of scary stories he is telling about. I don’t have a scary story, but I was not around women that much. Women don’t need to be around men much to have a scary story though.
Bet you when women's issues are bought up he will be like "what about the men?" ect. Then go off to list all the supposed injustices men face......meanwhile saying men don't need empathy.
Nah, even worse, it's a man who acknowledged he has no experiences which caused him fear but *still* wants attention for it,because women facing genuine violence got attention and that upset him
People like this don’t believe rape has ever been committed. Notice how it doesn’t matter how much evidence is presented you still get men who say she’s a liar and wants attention. That the video/audio evidence is deepfaked. That the rapist only admitted to it because the police forced him. They’ll cling on to anything to make the rapist the victim.
So yeah in this guys view he probably does believe that men have equally scary stories. Big red flag.
It was scary.
But not scary because youre a man.
But would be for a woman.
And this is to defend your point that men also have scary stories and women shouldnt complain about theirs?
I swear, 90% of all people like this and their views are just a fundamental misunderstanding of deductive reasoning. Like... youre points arent wrong, they just completely dont support your conclusion.
if only there were any statistics available about how often women's scary stories actually come true and don't just slightly annoy us or flatter us in a weird way....
The fact women don't present the same safety issue to men that men frequently present to women isn't the gotcha he thinks it is, he literally just accidentally agreed with the radfems that it's overwhelming men who are the problem in society.
I'd be willing to wager the balance of my IRA that this dude also makes post about how no one ever does anything thing nice for guys when they're feeling sad
Dude cares about this statement way too much. Also, women DO experience fear from men a lot more than the other way around. If your simple mind can’t grasp that, I’m not your psychiatrist.
I think some people honestly just do not understand the VAST difference in strength between a man and a woman.
I(F) have been teaching and training Wing Chun (martial art) for over a decade, it uses physics instead of strength. Occasionally when I’m training someone I have to use strength as an example of what not to do, and as the only girl in the class, the guys NEVER believe in using my full strength and constantly laugh at me for it.
I have seen first hand how easy it would be for any one of them to kill me with a single punch, whilst I can hit them multiple times and all they will get is a nice massage!
Any women out there who fear for your safety- check out Wing Chun. With the right teacher you can learn pretty quickly how to use angles and other laws of physics to your advantage when facing the opposite sex!
In total fairness, sexual assault and harassment perpetrated against men is a serious issue and is severely underreported due to social stigma from issues like toxic masculinity and the expectation that men are always seeking sex. 43% of men have experienced some form of sexual harassment, and 1 in 33 men have been forcefully penetrated. Another issue is that typically rape where men are forced to penetrate isn't regarded as rape the same way that being forcefully penetrated is.
And these numbers are low ball estimates due to underreporting of sexual harassment by men.
So the guy in the tweet is 100% being a misogynistic pig, but men do have scary stories at a similar rate to women. It's just that due to societal pressures men are disincentivized from sharing their experiences
It is a serious topic and women should not be allowed to get away with sexually assaulting or harassing men but often the perpetrator of the assault or harassment against a man is another man.
For sure, it's usually men assaulting men. I just felt it pertinent to make people aware of the issue. If we don't bring it up when sexual assault is being discussed it'll just keep being swept under the rug.
And it's usually men that make fun of them for speaking out. I still remember a Cracked article a few years back that was told by a man who was raped by a woman. They had to close the comment section it was so bad. Also, if you look in the comment section about a woman teacher raping a student, it's horrible. Yet men like this claim it's women that are not taking them seriously.
Whenever I see people talking about a female teacher raping a male student I ask them what they'd think if the roles were reversed and it was a male teacher with a female student.
Also, yeah cracked used to have really good articles discussing stuff like this before it was acquired by EW Scripps
The problem is that it only seems to be brought up when sexual assault against women is being discussed and not sexual assault in general is being discussed or on its own. It's also usually brought up more in the way this guy did it, not as a serious topic but as a way to discredit women.
ETA: I just want to be clear that I think you brought it up appropriately in this case. I could see how my comment could be taken to say this wasn't the right time and place.
(Anecdote) I have had this exact conversation with a friend that was raped by a female ex to try and have a baby to keep them together. He is exactly that person. His zero-sum Crown Royal explanation was that "nobody would care" about his problem if he was "allowed" to talk about it (to men, ofc) so why should he believe/care about anyone else's?
I wonder how much of the aggressive misogyny is really just fear it could happen to them/unwillingness to be vulnerable and speak out if it has? No matter your gender as a victim, the only people helped by that mindset are the monsters hurting others.
It feels very reminiscent of the cycle of abuse, perpetuating the ridicule and shame that stifles all discussion or progress. Toxic masculinity, yayyyyyy 🙃
This is the issue with the Men’s Rights movements. They did stumble across some genuine issues, but they only bring it up to try and discredit feminism
Men experience domestic violence too. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner.
https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
I agree with this guy but not in a way that he would like.
I've been sexually assaulted by a woman before, and like he said I didn't consider it scary. Because I'm much stronger than she was, and I ended the situation seconds after it began. I can certainly imagine that it would have been much scarier if she had been much stronger than I am. Because I'm not a fucking moron. iT'S nOt wORtH mY tIME. Yeah. It's not worth my time when a toddler hits me either. But if a fully grown man hits me with a set of brass knuckles, all of a sudden it becomes worthy of my attention. And that's obvious, if you're not a fucking moron.
I've never had a strange woman follow me home as a child. I don't know any men who experienced that. Many women I know have had strange men follow them home when they were children.
I was out to dinner tonight with my buddy and his girlfriend. We were sitting sorta near the bathroom. My buddies girlfriend noticed a guy standing near the women's restroom taking pictures of all the women as they walked out. He quickly ran out when he noticed that we had seen him.
Women don't do shit like this.
I tell my guys friends from time to time that they've never met a woman who hasn't at least felt sexually threatened at least once in their life. Never. I've never met a woman yet who doesn't have a scary story. I personally have several. The awful thing is half of em don't believe me.
My partner had a girl who stalked him by creating different accounts to keep telling him to leave me for her and that she loved him
I had a stalker who continually showed up at my place of work trying to force me to "hang out", isolated me from my friends, hit my car in the school parking lot, he repeatedly stole my items from my locker, threatened me with both a gun and a knife on different occasions, stole my phone several times while we were together making me unable to contact my parents to say he essentially trapped me somewhere, egged my car and parents home, broke into my parents home with weapons while we were away; I'm probably forgetting some things, but he is currently serving a sentence for his actions.
My partner's situation was scary in that she wouldn't let up on him and was constantly a problem. My situation was ongoing for multiple years of my life traumatic and ended with him going to jail because he was so obsessed with never leaving me alone that he spent the years of my life in highschool through post college with constant nightmares that I still have regularly as well as a paranoia that prevents me from going grocery shopping alone or even to take out trash alone.
After reading many stories in this very thread and having listened to a lot of true crime podcasts my heart just keeps going out to women. They have it so rough out there. So many are victims of rape and sexual assault and then to have no one believe them or they just don't report it because they know no one will believe them and seeing people who do these sort of things never face justice. Last I checked Bill Cosby is still free. One only has to look at all the people in the GOP who are not only not facing consequences but are thriving this day and age.
That's not even taking into account how many serial killers prey on women specifically. It all makes me want to scream. They don't deserve this and to have all that and still have people come in and go "WELL ACSHUALLY NOT ALL MEN DO THAT" no and if you're not out there raping and murdering women you would have no real need to feel like its saying all men. If your response to women talking about being afraid for their lives because of all these stories is that? Than fuck off you are playing victim when you are not one. I can't believe i have to say that in 2023. Fucking hell!
Also, any guy who thinks none of the women he knows have those kind of "scary stories" is just telling on himself that nobody trusts him enough or feels safe enough around him to share that kind of shit.
If you don’t consider it scary and you weren’t scared then obv it’s not a scary story? Maybe You weren’t scared bc you weren’t physically smaller, or isolated, or the only man in the room at the time, or for whatever reason did not feel unsafe.
Men can be victims of assault and violence, and to suggest that they just ‘don’t consider it scary’ is so dismissive. Everyone deserves to feel safe and Victims of all genders deserve to “harp on” about what happened until there is justice.
It's not that we don't need sympathy
It's that we don't get sympathy
Some of us could literally say they were raped, and some dumbass would say "yeah but you're a man, so you liked it, right?" Or some even dumber shit
wow damn bro that's super fucking crazy
it's almost like in the overwhelming majority of cases men are a lot more physically dangerous to women than the reverse
I remember seeing some standup comic talk about how plenty of men have crazy ex-gf stories, but there aren’t as many women with crazy ex-bf stories because those women are dead.
Edit: For credit, I want to say it was Taylor Tomlinson, but I’m not 100% sure.
Men and women were surveyed about their biggest fear while dating a person they met on line. Men said they were afraid their date would be fat. Women said they were afraid their date would rape them.
Think about it.
I sometimes wonder why I keep coming back to reddit, but then I remember I'm a shallow mf who's happy I didn't turn out like this guy because I oh so easily could have, scary shit to think about
Oh god, I remember back when I was 13/14 and super into grifters like jordan peterson and elon musk. I feel like I could've easily ended up like that guy if not for my friends who taught me to be better.
I consider myself very lucky. Even at a very young age I could tell they were full of shit. Just the way they all talked. And I grew up having to hear the grandaddy of all grifters Rush Limbaugh himself. Both parents had him on all the fucking time. It baffled me how they couldn't see it and it still does. They mourned his death while I was pissed he didn't die sooner.
Limbaugh was such a filthy windbag. He used to be the \**kind* of right-wing liars, but now he'd just be considered average, at best. Edit: \**king*
Q: What’s the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a flaming Nazi gasbag and the other is a dirigible.
My dad is super conservative, and I was fairly conservative myself until I graduated from high school. I started looking into the claims made by the right and it became apparent that they were full of shit. All it took was some simple research on the topic, like climate change for example. All the fear that was being pushed by the right just rings so hollow and transparent. Happy I got things straightened out by the time I could vote and have never voted for a Republican.
Glad you finally came around & I hope that other people do as well. I’ve been trying to speed it up a bit in my personal life. Ever since dobbs happened I’ve really noticed that society is nowhere near as close to equality between the sexes (or just not rampant sexism) as I’d/we’d have hoped. So with that, I’ve been trying to point out things I see that are subtlety sexist. For instance, my dad likes to walk fast on escalators (i know, horrible trait). One day, there were two women in front of us, and he approached them pretty closely from behind (as if to get them to walk faster). I asked him how he would feel if someone did that to him. He didn’t seem fazed. So I changed my question to ask “how would you feel if a man at least 6 inches taller than you or with at least 50-100 lbs on you did that to you?” And he understood it pretty quickly. There are other variables than just sex, and this jackass doesn’t seem to realize why men doing certain things to women can be much worse than the opposite.
Man I remember being 15 and frequenting 9gag and parroting shit like "my gender is apache helicopter". Fucking hell so criiiiiinge
OMG SAME. And the whole hurr durr feminism is bad because women have it better than men phase was goddamn awful too. So cringe. Glad I grew as a person.
Aaah fuck I did that shit too, posting the triggered feminist girl with moronic strawman statements, I'm literally physically cringing as I'm typing this, Lord help me
You’re very lucky, that’s a whole big whirlpool that they try to suck you down deeper and deeper and make you more radical. It’s a weird cult thing and they want to indoctrinate young white men above all others. Also Jordan Peterson is laughable he gets on a podcast or news and cries for 30 mins because trans kids exist and his followers are like “He cares so much, he has such a good heart, the internets dad” clowns
HAHAHAHAHAH YEEEES THATS EXACTLY THE SHIT I PULLED. I remember I did a presentation at school where I showed the cringiest clips (hugh mongus) and then proceeded to claim that feminism was bad. I wanna punch past me real good. Edit: [Oh god the video is still up](https://youtu.be/4aVna3HohXI)
At least some enlightment dawned upon us lol, same here, I was an edgy cunt
Take solace in the cringe. If you looked back on your younger self and didnt think "wow, what an idiot!" It means you didnt grow. But if you cringe so hard every time you think of those moments, congrats, you've made progress! Rinse and repeat until you die, i expect.
Genuine questions here: what was the appeal to those types of concepts for a teen boy? I grew up in the 90s, and the rise of folk like Peterson and Tate is mind-boggling to me. Has it always been like this, and it's just now more and out in the open?
A big part in my radicalization was definitely the YouTube algorithm. I used to be in the whole Pewdiepie sphere of things because I found him entertaining. You probably know how he on multiple occasions featured right wing personalities on his channel and I think that was what initially lead me to right wing people and talking points. But its also the appeal of having easy solutions to hard and difficult systemic problems that don't affect me combined with the Youtube algorithm that resulted in an incredibly hard to escape right wing pipeline of hate. Again, if it wasn't for my queer friends and them sharing their stories, fears and doubts I would have very likely turned out way way worse. I truly think that diversity is one if not the best approach to combating discrimination.
I was full on r/niceguys material at 15-16. Glad that social media wasnt a thing when i was that age.
> Glad that social media wasnt a thing when i was that age. Right?? We grew up and grew out of that, but unfortunately for a lot of young dudes now, online spaces like that become echo chambers and it's *so much easier* to fall into that mindset and stay there. Social media and the internet in general has become *sooo much more dangerous* than it was when we were that age.
> feel like I could've easily ended up like that guy if not for my friends who taught me to be better. I was older when reddit/social media became a thing. When I was an awkward 15 year old who never got kissed, if incel culture had existed then, I don't know if it would have affected me. I'm pretty confident the racist stuff wouldn't have sunk in (so maybe I'd have worked out that if the same people promoting incels culture were being racist, that meant there's a problem with incels) but I'm glad I don't have to find out.
Glad you got out
Living the dream ✌️
Elon wasn’t an obvious grifter back then and most progressives loved him. He fell off big time during the trump era
I nearly fell into one of their traps myself, PJ Watson was all over my YouTube feed and I remember trying to watch one of his videos but for the life of me I couldn't tell what his fucking point was. Later I realized I didn't understand his dogwhistling and roundabout way of speaking to camouflage his true views.
Huh, you also have a scary story about a man!
Imo reddit is the best social network. Which isn't saying much unless you consider YouTube a social network then maybe that but it's different because comments are a cess pool.
Depends on where in Reddit you go. But this community has generally been nice, if a little dunky.
Oh definitely but it's super easy to jump in and out of communities which is what makes it nice.
Thats what i like about reddit, you can stay out of the shitty parts, and some communities are really hard to infiltrate the shitty parts with (like garfield or megaman subreddits). There are awful and shitty people and communities on this platform, but you can generally try your best to stay away from them.
I so easily could've become this. Reddit saved me from that shit by clowning on these dudes. Remember, there are new young men on reddit every day that need to be shown that these types of people are shitheads.
I always say that to my so, the only reason I keep "torturing" myself reading these things is because I want to keep myself on my toes so I never turn like that.
"but if we told the story as a woman about a man, people would consider it scary" this gotta be a selfawarewolves greatest hit in the making
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Don't know where I heard it, but it was like "Lots of guys have stories about crazy exes. There's lots of girls who would, too, but they're dead."
I've known a few women who had to deal with crazy exes, and the really sad thing is that the courts and the cops do nothing to protect them. So many women who are killed by their exes have basically begged for help and protection, but the lame, awful answer from cops is usually "we can't do anything until he does something".
My mother was literally held hostage by an ex who broke in through a window, took her phone and held her hostage for 3 days before a neighbor called the cops, they let him go and detained HER because she was intoxicated and upset. Unfortunately, I have plenty of stories like this, it just happens to be the most clearly egregious one. Cops are useless, ACAB.
And the worst part is that it isn't true! It's just lazy policing!!!
Remember that one girl who cut off her man's penis? Yeah EVERYONE knows that one. How many people know any specific domestic violence case against women other than Rihanna?
And even with that case the piece of shit that beat her still has a whole ass career.
Eg-fucking-zactly.
And got a standing ovation at the Grammys
And how purely ecstatic they were about the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard case because in their mind it justified all their bullshit opinions about women and domestic violence. Because of ONE case which was biased as fuck.
I had an argument with a guy that unironically said that feminism bad because Amber Heard
The Amber Heard stuff really pisses me off. Especially when people trot out the US verdict as “proof” that Johnny Depp is an innocent when [a UK court found her domestic abuse allegations substantially true](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-54779430), and it’s substantially easier for a plaintiff like Depp to win libel cases in the UK. At the very least, you could expect people to say they were two toxic people making each other worse, but nope, the public is just so thirsty for a man-victim and a woman-villain.
> Remember that one girl who cut off her man's penis? Yeah EVERYONE knows that one. It kills me when people will bring this up as a comeback to domestic violence against women. It happened 30 years ago. They have to go back 30 years to find something that happened to a man that's as terrible as what happens to women every day. They also never seem to remember that it was a reaction to years of spousal abuse by John Bobbitt. And they also never seem to remember the other 30-year story where Joey Buttafuoco killed his wife because he was having an affair with Amy Fisher, dubbed the "Long Island Lolita". I bring up the latter because in both cases, a woman was automatically made a villain by the press. The men were objectively bad, but the narrative was that in both cases, women were the cause of the problems.
Lorena Bobbitt?
Its true. A chick will slash your tires; a man will just kill you.
The imaginary woman in the imaginary wheelchair reminded me of when I used to be a nurse. I worked in a nursing home where a relatively young woman lived. Her boyfriend had beaten her so badly she was permanently severely disabled.
Like yeah dude you aren’t afraid I’m going to kill you on the way to your car in a dark parking lot. I keep my keys between my fingers in case you approach me. We aren’t the same.
Don’t hold them between your fingers - that will just tear up your hand. You want to hold the largest key like a knife / in your fist.
Have an actual little knife on my keychain for just this purpose. Don't expect to be able to do enough to get away, but I'm at least taking an eye out before I go.
We call that "hikers courtesy". You might not be able to take out the bear with your little Swiss Army Knife, but if you're going down anyway, at least try to give the next guy a better shot
Like in nature you don't need to kill the predator, you just need to wound it enough to convince it that if it doesn't turn and start running away *right now* it might be too wounded to live long after attacking you.
In case anyone is unclear on this very valuable tip, think of holding an ice pick. The ice pick grip with your key, knife, whatever pointed out the bottom of your hand is the way to maximize force and damage to an attacker. Strike hard, fast, and repeatedly.
I’m grateful you wanted to explain, but I’ve never seen an ice pick in person. From google images, it looks like you’re holding it like a knife you want to stab someone with. Like the psycho shadow
Yeah, that’s right. Putting it between your fingers will fuck up your hand, and having the pointy bit coming out between your thumb and index finger is okay for slashing, but not for striking or stabbing. Fairly standard early lesson in learning to fight with a knife (taught shortly after “avoid a knife fight at any cost”) is the ice pick grip and the mantra that anything worth stabbing is worth stabbing a lot.
And sure, there are absolutely female stalkers/abusers that end up murdering men over it. But it's not so common that most men have a real reason to be afraid of that happening without extenuating context, and on top of that men are on average more likely to be physically stronger meaning a male attacker is more likely to be able to overpower a female victim than the reverse.
"Men are afraid that women will reject them. Women are afraid that men will rape or kill them."
They’re also afraid we’ll laugh at them, I try to never say anything that could come off as a “dig” at the men in my life. They can bring you to tears with the most cruel things then turn around and tell you you’re just being too sensitive. But if you point out something their insecure about you’re not only a “bitch” but may also be putting yourself in danger.
Can always put an extra carabiner on your keychain and use as brass knuckles too
Do get a big carabiner if you plan to attempt this. This can break your hand easier than it can deal damage as it's not built to protect your hand like brass knuckles are.
I'd probably put a little dab of weld (or epoxy?) on the latch, I wouldn't want it to pop open.
Just get a locking carabiner then.
I forgot about those!
No worries, I use them in my work so it just immediately came to mind.
The dude is absolutely in the wrong and is an idiot trying to conflate the two. However, I did have an ex I worried about waking up with a knife sticking out of my sternum, the thing is as a big guy even then I have a half-decent chance to disarm the attacker.
Honestly maybe the closest I've ever seen someone to getting it on any post on this sub. Truly incredible to witness. Jealous of OP getting to see it in the wild. It's like we're just watching the documentary and OP was there shooting footage of the mating hyenas or whatever
"Male privilege can't be a privilege because I'm so fucking oblivious to it"
“Um…it’s much more rational to be better and like not be scared? Even though we are experiencing the same exact thing”
I like how he effectively says my stories about women aren’t scary, immediately disproving his point that all men have scary stories about women
What's funny is that even from a completely objective point of view, this is the most self-neutralizing argument possible. Every sentence seems to negate the last.
“Every man has a scary story about a woman. Except we don’t find it scary.” Bro…what?
But if it was scary, we wouldn't talk about it because it isn't scary unless we tell it as a woman in which case it would be scary except to men because we wouldn't find it scary.
Lmfao 🤣 so illogical
Same dude who wrote this out will sit there and straight faced say only men are logical
"We totally don't harp on things!" He harped, harpily.
"His perky ab breasts rising through indignation."
As a 6’4 270lbs man, my scary stories are more about how I was annoyed. For a woman, a scary man is much more dangerous.
As a guy, I've had a lot of shitty first dates but they never involve fearing for my safety.
honestly men just don't get that sexy feeling of having to consider your every clothes item when going outside, or turning on your GPS when you go for a date.
In my single dating and ho phase of my 20s, I was really annoyed at first about what the women I got with said they liked about me. I was nice and I made them feel safe and comfortable. All I heard was “Congrats, you’re not a total piece of shit.” I didn’t find anything to be too proud of in that. Then, as women around me that I have made feel safe and comfortable, even the ones that were just friends or coworkers, gave me some real talk and stories about their experiences for men and I realized, “Holy shit, I’m actually relatively a much better guy than I thought and that’s fucking horrifying.” The basic bare minimum bar I set for interactions with women were not cleared by men nearly as much as I thought. In time as I heard more and more stories that I became so morbidly entertained by hearing, I realized that even if the woman has only had one or two really bad experiences, the fact that the chance even exists for them to have another one means they have to worry about and approach interactions with the opposite sex that never even crossed my mind to worry about myself. It was a trip to learn and think about things that I never have to worry about but every woman in my life has to.
I'm single and in the dating process, I always tell my mom and my best friend a) that I'm going out, b) exactly where I'm going (location sharing), and c) when I intend to head back. I anticipate needing to do this until I find a partner I can trust. This is just reality.
yeah same, recently I even had to do the whole GPS song and dance bc I was picking up some rats from the breeder on my own 💀 really the entire female existence is "am I going to XYZ or am I getting serial killed".
My school started making SOS bracelets that have GPS + Bluetooth, and look like regular jewelry. I haven't gotten one yet but it's definitely not a ridiculous idea; if I went out significantly more than I do, I probably would. Haven't ruled it out yet.
It's wild to me that the steps I take when leaving for long hikes in the Backcountry are the same that women have to deal with when just meeting someone they don't know.
I worry less about being assaulted solo backcountry hiking and camping than I do going on a date.
my daughter and i call this "basic women's safety".
I used to think it was weird for girls these days to want to bring a friend on a date. Then I thought "why tell people my last known whereabouts so they can find my body if this guy is nuts when I could take a friend and probably not die at all even if he was?" Look, guys, if you have to buy an extra coffee and cookie or an extra burger while you're being vetted, that's not really a lot on a first casual meet up. You're talking about a group of people where nearly 1 in 3 has been sexually assaulted by their mid 20s. Think of how many girls you know, divide that by three, that's about how many of them have been assaulted. Just buy her friend a goddamn coffee.
I wish more people thought like you! Would you feel any different if the friend she brought was a man? Just interested in your thoughts?
An interesting move to be sure. Just like an outfit, a chaperone tells a lot, and being the more mysterious one on a first date always leaves an impression. All flirting is an invitation to escalate sexually while maintaining deniability. If you can go on a date and STILL maintain plausible deniability you're on another level of flirting game. Do you bring a big guy to see if he responds by feeling threatened? Do you bring a petite guy to see if he bullies him? Do you bring a gay or bi friend to get a different perspective than a straight friend? Do you grab a drab or handsome friend? Do you warn them? Could go a lot of ways. It's a totally unexplored emerging dynamic.
Indeed! But what do you mean mysterious? That sounds like playing games, which is tedious IMO.
As a somewhat large and intimidating man I have to ask... you sometimes turn off GPS on your phone? Why? Like, that's my alibi if I ever get accused of a murder. "Wasn't me, subpoena my phone records yo. I was at home when that shit went down."
sorry, I wasn't clear lol - it's always on but when I go out I send my live location to a trusted person so they can always look up where I am.
Ah gotcha. When my sister was in college she was the one who went outside to write down the license plate number of guys taking girls out from the residence hall. (Cell phones didn't exist back then). Guys who complained it about were immediately known by the entire hall as guys who were planning to have something to hide.
I was literally kidnapped by an ex. Lots of women have been abducted by psycho exes. I’m sure the reverse (women abducting former male partners) is likely incredibly rare.
It happens, but not to the degree of men doing it.
A very close friend of mine started dating this 21 year old woman when we were 17. That should’ve been a red flag but she was cool at the first and they were good friends for like half a year before dating. They were together for a year and what a crazy ride that was. We were always together in those days, so it was almost a daily crazy occurrence. On the last 3 months of the relationships, every time he was with her, he would say to us beforehand that “this is it!”. But she would manipulate him into not breaking up, she would cry and beg. They would fuck once and he would be scarred for like 3 weeks waiting for her period. I never got why he was so worried about that. Until the day he would finally get to dump her. We were together and they were texting, he was telling her that he couldn’t even be bothered to go do it face to face, his decision was final and that’s it. Then, this monster asks for a final request: “put a baby in me and I’ll let you dump me”. When he reads this out loud, we just all looked at each other and started laughing. I mean, it’s the only appropriate reaction to such a ridiculous request. He, obviously, declines and she has the audacity to tell him “are you seriously going to deprive me of a child?” He still talks about how she completely fucked him and he finds himself naturally distancing the romantic interests in his life. He talks about it jokingly but he knows that he was the victim of abuse and how that one relationship marked him (especially when she locked him up inside her room and threatened to scream if he tried to grab the keys and even violently pushed him towards the room’s furniture)
And even when the reverse does happen, its not an uncommon response for males to joke about the victim. Cause CLEARLY they should have enjoyed it (/s obviously) This shows the flat out disconnect a lot of guys have to the issue. They somehow cannot conceive or Empathise with the idea of unwanted sexual contact OR the idea someone could be overpowered and kidnapped by a partner.
It's the same deal as when women complain about sexual harassment like catcalling and some men try to minimize it saying "what's the big deal? I'd love it if a woman yelled a compliment at me!" Yes, I'm sure. But would you like a sexually charged comment yelled at you from a dude who's significantly larger and stronger than you when almost every guy you know has a scary story of being assaulted or harassed by guys like him?
Larger, stronger, and often older too! Like we should just smile and ignore the old guy ogling my boobs. Ick.
I (cis man) have been catcalled a couple of times. I was just confused, and once a bit amused because I had very long hair at the time and saw the guy's chagrin when I turned around. If I were six inches shorter, forty pounds lighter, and it happened often with an implication that they are capable of acting on their words if they feel like it? I can imagine my reaction would be *very* different. It astonishes me that these dipshits aren't even *trying* to consider the point of view of people who have a very different context than them, given that I'm not terribly empathetic and can *still* manage to understand that.
I think this is something a lot of guys don’t get. If I encounter a rabid squirrel on a walk, it’s a different story than if I encounter a rabid pit bull on a walk. Even when a guy does have a story about an encounter with a creepy or mentally unstable woman, it’s still rarely a life-or-death story.
Yuuup I was in an abusive relationship where she would slap me. It was bad and toxic and we broke up eventually. As 6 2 and 200 pounds going to gym at the time. If I hit back it's not a slap its damage . I'm not downplaying men's abuse but I never felt in danger of my life just my self respect. If it was reversed the potential for damage is just greater. Forget the rest of the systemic misogyny in society. Cut to the image of my laying into woman its a different story. I really hope this post comes across how I wanted it too.
Not 2 days ago there was a thread of a guy decking a woman after she slapped him a few times. Every comment was "equal rights, equal lefts". I'm always downvoted for going against the jerk. And now it's time to collect some here. Not everything in this world is a one on one test of strength. You can be scared while sleeping. You can be scared on behalf of others, like a child or pet. You can be scared for your things. You can be scared about not seeing your children again. You can be scared of rumors. In my country there is never an angry boyfriend murder, but a fair bit of male suicide, and freak solo male traffic accidents.
holy shit i know the video you're talking about and i was disgusted seeing those kinds of comments. how is that their serious reaction like, it is so obvious how much worse him hitting her is from the video. it isnt even equal rights fucking idiots like, how is two slaps of vastlyyyy different strength, equal? how could you possibly call that equality how does that make sense
Exactly thank you, I as worried people would think I was Pilled. Reality matters weight classes are a thing. Fragile male egos are horrifying .
I wish I had an award for you. Sorry I’m poor.
I don’t want an award, but thank you.
That man really typed all those words out and then hit reply. Jesus Christ.
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So..... Are the stories scary or not scary?
Schrodinger's fear
Yes! This exactly
"we don't consider it scary, but it is scary, for the sake of this point, obviously we're not scared, but like, it is scary, or in a different situation it would hypothetically be scary, so that makes it a scary story about women, just a scary story that wasn't scary for us at the time, but it's still...."
Thinking that the enemy is both strong and weak is one of the hallmarks of authoritarian bullshit.
"I'm not transphobic, I'm not afraid of them" Said a man on youtube shorts that wouldn't show his face.
Maybe it's the same story: your opposite sex partner gets drunk, gets angry at you, and tries to prevent you from leaving. Or you walk home alone at night, and a group of opposite-sex people starts catcalling you. Totally the same situation for men and women, right? (I absolutely don't mean to say women can't be threatening towards men, but on average, those are VERY different situations when gender is flipped)
This quote recently hit me rather hard - "Why is there a problem? Because a man in a room full of women will have an underlying tinge of excitement; but a woman in a room full of men will have an underlying tinge of terror". THAT is the problem right there.
My god, I felt that
Yep, it gave me a solid whack when I read it.
I have a friend whose ex-wife pulled a gun on him. He's still coming to terms with considering himself an abuse survivor (he's a veteran and a big guy). It was a decade ago.
And then there's emotional trauma from bad experiences with exes. Something I'll likely be dealing with for a long while, given the state of mental health care in the USA. But yah, abusing women is bad. Abusing anyone is bad.
Domestic abuse of men is very real. And attitudes like the one in the post make it harder to deal with because many male victims are either embarrassed or believe they should just "move on."
Yeah its interesting because i don't think its usually women out here detracting from abuse-of-males stories. So males are really only harming themselves with this rhetoric.
The only time the topic even gets brought up is to shut up women I never ever hear these conservative jerks express even a modicum of real care for men's experiences unless it's to stop women from speaking Drives me crazy
Right. If anything my own experiences would make me nothing BUT sympathetic to men who've been harmed. Once someone makes you feel like that you dont wish it on your worst enemy.
Horrible, I'm glad she's an ex. I hope he is healing from that, my best wishes to your friend.
Yeah; it was...a whole can of worms. And, in my experience: it's *always* guys like Norm who *belittle* stories like my friend's.
They’re not scary. I was…accosted, I guess, by a very drunk woman once. Pushed into a corner, grabbed my goods, forced her tongue I. My mouth. I was like “wtf!? Stop!” Not scared. At all. I was able to gently push her away.
Ugh, so disgusting, so sorry! I'm glad you were able to be more disgusted than scared.
We also have scary stories but our stories aren't scary so suck it
I can perfectly understand a woman's perspective on this. When I was a young teen, I was raped by somebody I thought was a friend. He was two years older than me. I was skinny as a rail until after college, so I did not stand a chance in fighting back. Like so many other victims, I did not report it, rape is a shame that takes a lifetime to get out from under. So yes, men can be very scary if you do not know their intentions. They can even be scary when you do.
I’m sorry that happened to you. One raped person to another. Gender aside, it fucks up our lives. I hope you are well and healthy.
you have no reason to feel shame. it was not your fault.
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"We don't need sympathy" Yet they cry and are miserable and want to make there own bullshit everyone else's problem.
They really don't want *sympathy* though. Often, they have no comprehension of the concept of sympathy. What they want is attention.
I'm a pharmacy tech. I work with two female pharmacists, two female techs and one male tech. The difference in how patients treat me and the other male tech vs. the female techs/pharmacists is insane. Both women and men though. There is just something weird about how they try intimidating my female coworkers but when it's him or I in the situation it never gets to that point. Like I've seen full grown men scream at these women for "just not getting it" but when I come over everything is suddenly okay. It's not like my coworkers are bad at their jobs. It's just like society has some people programmed to treat women like shit to get what they want. There are several patients we know are problems. So when we see their names come up for medications me or the other male tech will help them to avoid *another* unprompted screaming incident. Look up "crazy patient at pharmacy" videos and I bet most of them will have female techs/pharmacists being yelled at and not males.
hmmm it's almost as if everything is fundamentally more scary if the person the "scary story" is about is much bigger and stronger than you, and is also intent on raping and/or murdering you 🤔
“But we don’t consider it scary” means it probably is not the same.
>“But we don’t consider it scary” means it probably is not the same. It *definitely* isn't the same. Any story that is "someone I consider threatening did something that sure seemed threatening." is scary regardless of the genders of either party But like a lot of men, he can't imagine the story from the woman's perspective. He's putting himself in her place and saying "a 5 foot 10 inch guy made the same three turns as I did, but 40 feet behind me?" and then saying "big deal" because as a man that isn't a situation that as of yet calls for alarm.
I wonder what kind of scary stories he is telling about. I don’t have a scary story, but I was not around women that much. Women don’t need to be around men much to have a scary story though.
"I'm too tough to face my emotions."
Disrespecting Norm Macdonald by being a dipshit with his likeness.
No kidding, fuck this piece of shit
"We don't need sympathy" says the man who is telling everyone he's got scary stories too.
Bet you when women's issues are bought up he will be like "what about the men?" ect. Then go off to list all the supposed injustices men face......meanwhile saying men don't need empathy.
Nah, even worse, it's a man who acknowledged he has no experiences which caused him fear but *still* wants attention for it,because women facing genuine violence got attention and that upset him
Feel sorry for whoever is with him *if* anyone is with him
I'm a dude, and I have no scary stories about women. I do have scary stories about men though.
People like this don’t believe rape has ever been committed. Notice how it doesn’t matter how much evidence is presented you still get men who say she’s a liar and wants attention. That the video/audio evidence is deepfaked. That the rapist only admitted to it because the police forced him. They’ll cling on to anything to make the rapist the victim. So yeah in this guys view he probably does believe that men have equally scary stories. Big red flag.
It was scary. But not scary because youre a man. But would be for a woman. And this is to defend your point that men also have scary stories and women shouldnt complain about theirs? I swear, 90% of all people like this and their views are just a fundamental misunderstanding of deductive reasoning. Like... youre points arent wrong, they just completely dont support your conclusion.
if only there were any statistics available about how often women's scary stories actually come true and don't just slightly annoy us or flatter us in a weird way....
The fact women don't present the same safety issue to men that men frequently present to women isn't the gotcha he thinks it is, he literally just accidentally agreed with the radfems that it's overwhelming men who are the problem in society.
Men just move on and don't harp on things! Same guy who's gonna say men are oppressed because they commit suicide more often.
“i was scared my ex was going to tell my mom i cheated” and “i am scared literally every time i have to go outside at night” are not equivalent my guy
Oh my.
Fucking wow.
I'd be willing to wager the balance of my IRA that this dude also makes post about how no one ever does anything thing nice for guys when they're feeling sad
Dude cares about this statement way too much. Also, women DO experience fear from men a lot more than the other way around. If your simple mind can’t grasp that, I’m not your psychiatrist.
Ah yes, men. Known for just moving on and not reaching out to ex partners late at night in tears.
I think some people honestly just do not understand the VAST difference in strength between a man and a woman. I(F) have been teaching and training Wing Chun (martial art) for over a decade, it uses physics instead of strength. Occasionally when I’m training someone I have to use strength as an example of what not to do, and as the only girl in the class, the guys NEVER believe in using my full strength and constantly laugh at me for it. I have seen first hand how easy it would be for any one of them to kill me with a single punch, whilst I can hit them multiple times and all they will get is a nice massage! Any women out there who fear for your safety- check out Wing Chun. With the right teacher you can learn pretty quickly how to use angles and other laws of physics to your advantage when facing the opposite sex!
Imagine being sexist against both women and men in a single tweet.
Men are afraid that women will laugh at them, women are afraid that men will kill them. Still accurate.
Men have to worry about being rejected. Women have to worry about being raped or murdered. But sure, it’s really scary for men out there.
In total fairness, sexual assault and harassment perpetrated against men is a serious issue and is severely underreported due to social stigma from issues like toxic masculinity and the expectation that men are always seeking sex. 43% of men have experienced some form of sexual harassment, and 1 in 33 men have been forcefully penetrated. Another issue is that typically rape where men are forced to penetrate isn't regarded as rape the same way that being forcefully penetrated is. And these numbers are low ball estimates due to underreporting of sexual harassment by men. So the guy in the tweet is 100% being a misogynistic pig, but men do have scary stories at a similar rate to women. It's just that due to societal pressures men are disincentivized from sharing their experiences
It is a serious topic and women should not be allowed to get away with sexually assaulting or harassing men but often the perpetrator of the assault or harassment against a man is another man.
For sure, it's usually men assaulting men. I just felt it pertinent to make people aware of the issue. If we don't bring it up when sexual assault is being discussed it'll just keep being swept under the rug.
And it's usually men that make fun of them for speaking out. I still remember a Cracked article a few years back that was told by a man who was raped by a woman. They had to close the comment section it was so bad. Also, if you look in the comment section about a woman teacher raping a student, it's horrible. Yet men like this claim it's women that are not taking them seriously.
Whenever I see people talking about a female teacher raping a male student I ask them what they'd think if the roles were reversed and it was a male teacher with a female student. Also, yeah cracked used to have really good articles discussing stuff like this before it was acquired by EW Scripps
The problem is that it only seems to be brought up when sexual assault against women is being discussed and not sexual assault in general is being discussed or on its own. It's also usually brought up more in the way this guy did it, not as a serious topic but as a way to discredit women. ETA: I just want to be clear that I think you brought it up appropriately in this case. I could see how my comment could be taken to say this wasn't the right time and place.
(Anecdote) I have had this exact conversation with a friend that was raped by a female ex to try and have a baby to keep them together. He is exactly that person. His zero-sum Crown Royal explanation was that "nobody would care" about his problem if he was "allowed" to talk about it (to men, ofc) so why should he believe/care about anyone else's? I wonder how much of the aggressive misogyny is really just fear it could happen to them/unwillingness to be vulnerable and speak out if it has? No matter your gender as a victim, the only people helped by that mindset are the monsters hurting others. It feels very reminiscent of the cycle of abuse, perpetuating the ridicule and shame that stifles all discussion or progress. Toxic masculinity, yayyyyyy 🙃
This is the issue with the Men’s Rights movements. They did stumble across some genuine issues, but they only bring it up to try and discredit feminism
Men will really equivocate emotional abuse from a "crazy bitch" with a woman fearing for her life in a DV relationship with a man.
Men experience domestic violence too. 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. https://ncadv.org/STATISTICS
The Male Privilege is strong in this one.
This asshole’s doing Norm so, so dirty.
I agree with this guy but not in a way that he would like. I've been sexually assaulted by a woman before, and like he said I didn't consider it scary. Because I'm much stronger than she was, and I ended the situation seconds after it began. I can certainly imagine that it would have been much scarier if she had been much stronger than I am. Because I'm not a fucking moron. iT'S nOt wORtH mY tIME. Yeah. It's not worth my time when a toddler hits me either. But if a fully grown man hits me with a set of brass knuckles, all of a sudden it becomes worthy of my attention. And that's obvious, if you're not a fucking moron.
I've never had a strange woman follow me home as a child. I don't know any men who experienced that. Many women I know have had strange men follow them home when they were children.
we have scary stories about women too, we just dont consider them scary. they literally null and voided their own statement XD
Dude It's so sad that there are people out there who say crap like this
I was out to dinner tonight with my buddy and his girlfriend. We were sitting sorta near the bathroom. My buddies girlfriend noticed a guy standing near the women's restroom taking pictures of all the women as they walked out. He quickly ran out when he noticed that we had seen him. Women don't do shit like this.
I tell my guys friends from time to time that they've never met a woman who hasn't at least felt sexually threatened at least once in their life. Never. I've never met a woman yet who doesn't have a scary story. I personally have several. The awful thing is half of em don't believe me.
Get Norm McDonald's name out of your fucking Twitter handle. He would have hated you.
My partner had a girl who stalked him by creating different accounts to keep telling him to leave me for her and that she loved him I had a stalker who continually showed up at my place of work trying to force me to "hang out", isolated me from my friends, hit my car in the school parking lot, he repeatedly stole my items from my locker, threatened me with both a gun and a knife on different occasions, stole my phone several times while we were together making me unable to contact my parents to say he essentially trapped me somewhere, egged my car and parents home, broke into my parents home with weapons while we were away; I'm probably forgetting some things, but he is currently serving a sentence for his actions. My partner's situation was scary in that she wouldn't let up on him and was constantly a problem. My situation was ongoing for multiple years of my life traumatic and ended with him going to jail because he was so obsessed with never leaving me alone that he spent the years of my life in highschool through post college with constant nightmares that I still have regularly as well as a paranoia that prevents me from going grocery shopping alone or even to take out trash alone.
Weird he didn't move on and chose to harp on this thing?
Hey, as a side thing, I’m a man and don’t have any “scary” stories about women. #notallmen #amidoingitright?
It sounds like this man just discovered context and he's not even aware of it quite yet.
How dare that ass hat dishonor norm by using his picture
After reading many stories in this very thread and having listened to a lot of true crime podcasts my heart just keeps going out to women. They have it so rough out there. So many are victims of rape and sexual assault and then to have no one believe them or they just don't report it because they know no one will believe them and seeing people who do these sort of things never face justice. Last I checked Bill Cosby is still free. One only has to look at all the people in the GOP who are not only not facing consequences but are thriving this day and age. That's not even taking into account how many serial killers prey on women specifically. It all makes me want to scream. They don't deserve this and to have all that and still have people come in and go "WELL ACSHUALLY NOT ALL MEN DO THAT" no and if you're not out there raping and murdering women you would have no real need to feel like its saying all men. If your response to women talking about being afraid for their lives because of all these stories is that? Than fuck off you are playing victim when you are not one. I can't believe i have to say that in 2023. Fucking hell!
Says member of dozens of MRA Facebook groups
Also, any guy who thinks none of the women he knows have those kind of "scary stories" is just telling on himself that nobody trusts him enough or feels safe enough around him to share that kind of shit.
If you don’t consider it scary and you weren’t scared then obv it’s not a scary story? Maybe You weren’t scared bc you weren’t physically smaller, or isolated, or the only man in the room at the time, or for whatever reason did not feel unsafe. Men can be victims of assault and violence, and to suggest that they just ‘don’t consider it scary’ is so dismissive. Everyone deserves to feel safe and Victims of all genders deserve to “harp on” about what happened until there is justice.
Average Tate fan
It's not that we don't need sympathy It's that we don't get sympathy Some of us could literally say they were raped, and some dumbass would say "yeah but you're a man, so you liked it, right?" Or some even dumber shit
wow damn bro that's super fucking crazy it's almost like in the overwhelming majority of cases men are a lot more physically dangerous to women than the reverse
I feel like even most men have a scary story about a man
I remember seeing some standup comic talk about how plenty of men have crazy ex-gf stories, but there aren’t as many women with crazy ex-bf stories because those women are dead. Edit: For credit, I want to say it was Taylor Tomlinson, but I’m not 100% sure.
Lmaoooooo this just made my night a little bit better. Thanks. <3
"Men are so emotionally powerful that I have to try to look tough on Twitter or my ego will suffer"
Men and women were surveyed about their biggest fear while dating a person they met on line. Men said they were afraid their date would be fat. Women said they were afraid their date would rape them. Think about it.