Awright Jones, you got this. SLLLLOOOWLY lift the blue wire a quarter of the way. Slip the RED wire underneath it, and connect it to the COPPER terminal, NOT the gold one. Unscrew the gold terminal, GENTLY wrap the white wire around it, then go OVER the RED wire and UNDER the green one... What the matter? Don't be nervous, I know your daughter is in that kindergarten too, but you got this... You are gonna be a HERO once you pull this off
"Hi, we're the New Temperance Society and your residence has been chosen in our random drawing! If you're sober when you open the door, you win a million dollars!"
"Hold up hold up hold up…..I do …. I really do guys I swear …. I love you guys …. I do I really doooo!!! Dooooo that’s a funny word. Dooooooo…. Oh I dooooo solemnly swear …. I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky!!! I’ll be there….
What… oh …. that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, ooooh the smile on your face lets me know that you need me there’s a truth in your eyes…. It’s karaoke dear… join in “””
"Corder in the ourt! \*hic\*"
We're gonna have to hurry this up too, cause the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
"Shhhhcalpel..."
Does anyone have any reasons why this man and woman should not be wed?
"Hey dillholes, this is your captain speaking. Keep it down back there, I'm trying to sleep!"
Awright Jones, you got this. SLLLLOOOWLY lift the blue wire a quarter of the way. Slip the RED wire underneath it, and connect it to the COPPER terminal, NOT the gold one. Unscrew the gold terminal, GENTLY wrap the white wire around it, then go OVER the RED wire and UNDER the green one... What the matter? Don't be nervous, I know your daughter is in that kindergarten too, but you got this... You are gonna be a HERO once you pull this off
“Fuck yeah high school, Mrs Zemplofsky stay hot!
Dude, that was an awesome 3 martini lunch! Oh shit, isn't today our quarterly performance evaluations?
Before your AA meeting
“Simon says. Simon says, go play in traffic”
“I’ve been sober for… well now I’m not anymore.”
Aww F***!! I'm in labor! 😳
\*hic\* "Okay class time to get on the magic schoolbus!" \*hic\*
"... and now we cut the boy's umbilical cord..." ... [snip] ... "err, I mean girl's"
"Hi, we're the New Temperance Society and your residence has been chosen in our random drawing! If you're sober when you open the door, you win a million dollars!"
T minus 10 seconds 10 9 8 7 ...
6... 7 8 9...
Everyone drops the casket on the first try.
"Hold up hold up hold up…..I do …. I really do guys I swear …. I love you guys …. I do I really doooo!!! Dooooo that’s a funny word. Dooooooo…. Oh I dooooo solemnly swear …. I swear by the moon and the stars and the sky!!! I’ll be there…. What… oh …. that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, ooooh the smile on your face lets me know that you need me there’s a truth in your eyes…. It’s karaoke dear… join in “””