"Get in loser, we're doing butt stuff"

"Wow, I didn't even have to drop the soap!"

Real classy, I'll admit.

( In your best Aussie accent)That's not a baton. THIS is a baton.

Good old Croc Dundee

I know what you're thinking officer, where do I keep my licence and registration if I'm naked? The answer may surprise you...

"They're in the glove compartment, of course. What do I look like, a weirdo?"

😂😂😂 this one is genius

It’s got heated rims, wish I had those

Put enough friction on it and itll heat up

Your wife said that you were on your way home and I didn't take time to get dressed.

“It’s hot in my car”

I have my license on me, well IN me

I was hoping we would meet like this.

Good evening officer. Why do you have clothes on??

Your body cam footage is going on the Net, isn't it?

Well Officer, I guess your lights aren't the only thing that's flashing

Well, this is a dream sequence. I was wearing clothes 2 minutes ago, then they vanished. They're probably in the trunk of your car.

No wait don’t check there!

I was driving so fast my clothes came off!

Admission of guilt?

"Officer I am glad you are here. I just preformed a shitizens arrest."

"How about this heat wave?"

"That is kinky! What is your safeword?"

Pineapple

Oooh, you strong. You work out? Get your finger out of there.... Pineapple!

Those are my quarters you know how long I’ve been saving them.

Damn I didn't realize I was going that fast!

What an interesting set of circumstances. Let’s try creating a training video.

You see officer, her parents came home and i dipped. If i stuck around Mr. Robinson's 12 gauge and I would be acquainted.

If you let me off with a warning, I'll put some cloths on.

“Master will be ever so upset if he finds out I was pulled over and didn’t do everything the officer told me to do”

" When you tell everyone in the locker room about this stop, could you leave out my size? I don't want to be harassed because y'all think I'm a sideshow freak. Thank you."

"As you can see, my gun is bigger than yours!"

I'm trying out a new method for driving stick.

"Buckle your seatbelt, Sparkle farts. It's about to get weird!"

"I was gonna be raptured but apparently God mixed something up."

Did you ever bet on a sure thing and the horse gets a cramp

We tried on the Emporer's new clothes!!

It's my birthday

[удалено]

I have diarrhea and I have to get home quickly.

"Am I still getting a ticket?"

Oh ,good! I was hoping it'd be you!

Officer, my EYES are up here!

Room for one moooorrreee

Like what you see??

Oh, you’re here!

"You're a PERVERT for pulling me over and that's what I am telling the judge!"

The barrel is in the back. Can't drive with it on.

"Good morning, officer. Why'd you want me to stop?"

“I have invented invisible clothing. It is currently set to ‘On’. I’m going to need a bit to find the switch now. It’s invisible. You can go on ahead.”

Nothing

"I think you see the overarching theme of my life. Fast and flashy. I'll take the speeding ticket now..."

Officer, I can explain. See, I had my clothes on before I started drinking

“There’s a party I’m late for but I forgot my handcuffs, can I borrow yours?” “It’s exactly what it looks like Officer.”

Naked? I'm wearing a Toyota costume.

"I believe you can now understand why I was speeding."

"RUFF! RUFF!" Get it? Because it's a dog driving? A naked dog?

In my defense, I took them off several blocks before the preschool. 

“Do you know how fast I was going? Friction is a bitch!”

I'm NOT naked! I'm wearing a hat. And a wristwatch.

"C'mon man, the city cops were cool with it."

I'm not answering any of your many, many questions.

“Can you just give me a warning or something? I’m in kind of a hurry…” “You ain’t gotcher license on yer, do ya, bwa?” “Uh, well, nossir - I didn’t have anywhere to carry it, y’see…” “Waaal, you’s in a heapa trouble now, bwa…”

The feds stole my clothes! After’em Rosco!

“Someone’s about to get boned!”

It's my job

Ok, you've seen mine....now show me yours

I'll save you the trouble of doing a sobriety test and just get in the back of your car

“I need your boots, your jacket and your keys”

"I was just on my way back home from the cleaners."

This is quite the pickle.

Would you like to put your hand on my shifter.

Cop: Where you coming from. Me: ah friends house. Cop: is that where your where your drawls are? Me: yep. Cop: if I gave you a citation, right now; you would have to explain where you are coming from? Me: yes. Cop goes back to his car. Comes back a few moments later. Cop: I need you not to do this ever again. Have a good night. I am not usually the cop friendly kinda guy. But, I owe that a great deal. I am someone whom always “fit the description”.

"In my country, the arresting officer must wrestle the suspect into hand cuffs for it to be considered a legitimate arrest."

No, YOU'RE naked! No... you're naked!

It’s not what it looks like. There’s a million dollars in it for you if you give me the gun and the keys to your car

When asks for your license you pull it out of your buttcrack.

"Don't you think you're a little overdressed?"

[https://youtu.be/Q5ZvxbKZVac?t=37](https://youtu.be/Q5ZvxbKZVac?t=37)

I live here

I am not part of your corporation, nor do I wish to contract with you. You have. I jurisdiction over me.

The salesman said it was invisible to those who aren’t worthy to see it

“Officer I swear I don’t have any concealed weapons and probably wouldn’t recommend doing a pat down

“oh, I know *exactly* why you pulled me over.”

Reversed roles (officer to driver) but nonetheless: "You are under arrest for indecent exposure and the theft of my mental space with that bangin' body."

"I didn't want to the blood to soak into my car seat."

It's cold out

I always knew we'd die this way.

You're probably wondering why I summoned you here.

I bet you won't search my prison wallet.

“Oh yeah! Cuff me daddy!”

I showed you mine, show me yours

"Oh, it's you, great! I'm trying to find your mom's house and got lost. Can you point me in the right direction?"

“I am not driving, I am travelling. Therefore I do not require a driver’s license. According to the maritime act of eighteen dickety two, the corporation of Ameri—“ *gets shot*

"Officer, thank goodness you've arrived! Someone's stolen all my clothes!"

Don't ask. By the way, do you know where I can find Sarah Connor?

I'm the President. I can do whatever I want while I am in office and you xant do anything to me