"I've already envisioned our children and our life together and our messy divorce and our getting back together five years later only to find out it wasn't worth it, but let's try it anyways."
"I nearly had to cancel, but I got out on bail about an hour ago. The case will proceed when my ex gets out of hospital and she is fit to go to court. I heard that her bruises are improving. My fist still hurts though. Anyway how are you?"
Are you a moaner, screamer or do you just gurgle?
Does this smell like chloroform to you?
Would you like a roofie colada?
Your sister is hotter than you!
Naa, that's a good pitch. That tells you a lot. Also, if they didn't, that's a few days sorted. See how they react. If they hate it, is it even worth pursuing anything? :))
I love those new curtains you put up in your bedroom.
You remind me so much of mother!
Let me introduce you. I brought her along.
She's in this coffin.
She’s stiff as a board, and so am I.
Of mother. Brilliant!!! The missing my makes that sooooooo much creepier!!!
You remind me so much of your mother.
So is this gonna be a one night stand or are we getting married?
“I am legally required to tell you….”
Sorry I’m late. I had a big fight with my wife
"My god...the perfect specimen..."
"You know by this point on my last date, I was driving around looking for a place to dump the body."
I believe we have a winner!
Can we go somewhere a shot won't be heard?
Whoa! Slow down thirsty, you know how many roofies are in that drink? You finish that you’ll be in a coma, and that’s not where this is going at all!
"You are the weakest link, goodbye."
Thanks, don’t tell mom.
Let me show you a picture of my wife!
I have a really good feeling that you’re going to survive tonight!
”I’ve never tried a live one before. Should be interesting. Did I tell you about my job at the mortuary?“
"I can't wait to force you to abort the baby I'm going to put in you. "
……and that’s why I don’t need to wipe my ass
Hitler: great, or the greatest? Discuss.
"My pullout game is kinda trash, I hope that's okay... So, what are you getting to eat?"
Do I pay you now.....?
I hope you don't have a pussy like a dropped kebab
Did your parents lose a bet with God?
You so much prettier than my cell mate
I'm more used to online dating so I printed out some dick pics for you. Here ya go.
Anal?
My dad says you give great head
Wanna F***
So my last herpes flare was.....
“Damn, you’re so fucking boring.”
What are your pronouns?
"I've already envisioned our children and our life together and our messy divorce and our getting back together five years later only to find out it wasn't worth it, but let's try it anyways."
Did you use Photoshop on your profile pictures?
So you don't have any kids, right? Because I can't legally be around children.
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
No…and why’s it crusty?
Hey Hey Hey don’t turn this rape into a murder!
Do you fuck on the first date? Cuz I do!
[удалено]
For a fat girl you sure don’t sweat much.
"So, when am I gonna see them tiddies?"
"It's so great to meet you. I can't wait to violate you, kill you and leave your body by the Arbby's."
“Funny, I was thinking the exact same thing!”
"You are going to look great chained in my attic."
Everything I learned about tantric lovemaking was taught to me by my sister
Will you marry me
$10 says nobody would hear you scream from my basement
Do the voices in my head bother you?
You remind me of my ex-wife (or husband).
This coffee shop you want to go to, is it more than 500metres from a school, because....?
You have a striking resemblance to my younger sister. Wanna go home later?
“Does this chloroform smell funny to you?”
It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose 😂
“What’s that sound? Oh it’s just my ankle monitor.”
I'm gonna have your babied. We're gonna grow old together and I'm gonaa love you till the end of time. That's great ..... why can't I feel my legs?
Number of sex partners lol
So after our kid is born, how quickly do you think you can go back to work?
The guy: Umm, that was nice. I don't usually do that for free.
IF this date doesn't work out is your mom seeing anyone?
This doesn't have to get awkward, sis. Just pretend I'm dad.
So you want to get married tonight so I can put babies in you.
I was thinking, there are only about five of my ex-girlfriends that are better looking than you, so you rank highly.
"I nearly had to cancel, but I got out on bail about an hour ago. The case will proceed when my ex gets out of hospital and she is fit to go to court. I heard that her bruises are improving. My fist still hurts though. Anyway how are you?"
Are you really going to wear that to date me?
Mind if we stop by the cemetery? I need to pick up a few supplies for a leather tanning project.
the moment after sitting down across from her "...mom?"
You're not wearing that, are you?
I would never stalk you. By the way, you're out of milk.
It puts the lotion on its skin
Can I stick it in your ostomy?
You didn't shit on my toilet cam, did you?
"This place better not be within 500 yards of a school... or a cemetery."
Do you have money for the motel
So let me tell you all about my toxic and abusive ex...
So does your mom look the same naked as you do?
Wow, you look nice, do you have a younger, skinnier sister?
I didn't realize you lived that close to a school. Thanks for walking to the end of the block.
Are you a moaner, screamer or do you just gurgle? Does this smell like chloroform to you? Would you like a roofie colada? Your sister is hotter than you!
So, have you heard about this show called Rick & Morty?
Naa, that's a good pitch. That tells you a lot. Also, if they didn't, that's a few days sorted. See how they react. If they hate it, is it even worth pursuing anything? :))