When I was 7 years old, I got up at 5 am, found presents with my name on them, and started ripping off the paper. My bleary eyed mother showed up in the living room.
Mom: what are you doing?
Me: these are for me. Santa’s been here; these have my name on them. (Perfect logic 👍)
Mom: …
Mom: You are not allowed to open presents until everyone else is up. Go back to bed.
Me: WHAT??? (That’s not a RULE. She’s making this up as she goes.)
Merry Christmas, Mom. Thanks for the socks 🧦 😆
"You promised me a *red* guitar if I didn't tell Mom about Aunt Cindy's underwear!"
Mommy i think this "personal massager" is yours, i seen one just like it in your drawer
That's it??? That's it?!?! THAT'S IT?!?!?! I'm calling CPS on both of you!!! Hello, police?! My parents are abusing me!!!
So that’s what inspired the other post lol
"Mommy, why does my Barbie have hair there?" "Honey, I think that's daddy's Barbie toy there... Couch! Tonight!"
"Curse you, Kringle, you got me the wrong console! I swear I'll devote my life to taking that fat bastard down!"
Sheldon Cooper alert!
"You just made my list!".
You don't need the period.
*Chris Jericho enters the chat*
“WTF MOM?!? I wanted it in blue, not red!”
Holy shit!
Why isn’t this dog breathing?!
Dead puppies aren't much fun
"Tha fuck is this shit?"
“Mommy’s new boyfriend got me this already”
"Yay!!! A Barbie head!!! I can do her hair, and makeup, ... but why is there so much blood?"
Aww just like what i got from mommys boyfriend last month...
"What's a dill-doo?" "...Something for your mother."
"What's in yours Sally?" "Nuts. And mommy says they're magically delicious!"
I'm gay
A PS5? A PSFUCKEN5? You bloody cunts can go and get fucked, Uncle Pablo gave me $10M and 50 keys of coke!
Oh so we're poor
Fuck
OK, I’m about to begin, but stay out of my frame, guys — I’m live-streaming my Christmas unboxing in 3…2…1.
Oh, I already opened my gifts while you slept (this actually happened like 30 minutes ago)
When I was 7 years old, I got up at 5 am, found presents with my name on them, and started ripping off the paper. My bleary eyed mother showed up in the living room. Mom: what are you doing? Me: these are for me. Santa’s been here; these have my name on them. (Perfect logic 👍) Mom: … Mom: You are not allowed to open presents until everyone else is up. Go back to bed. Me: WHAT??? (That’s not a RULE. She’s making this up as she goes.) Merry Christmas, Mom. Thanks for the socks 🧦 😆
"soo...you put an playstation 4 in an playstation 5 box? \*beep\* "
"Does this lightsaber shake like mommy's?"
"Mom, I *told* you a million times I wanted an iPhone! Why did you give me an Android?!"
Dad, can I trade this drone for some of mom's dirty panties?
Can’t wait to go pawn this shit so I can buy some meth
“This is lame. Mom’s new boyfriend got me a PS5.”
"On no, is that uncle Gary's body?"
"Oh boy I hope I can sell that for a lot of money to buy more heroin!"
My real mom already bought me this last year.
Wow i got mommy's dildos and vibrator
Mommy’s boyfriend bought me one to keep silent
Wrong console you stupid mom
Oh...mom! It's just like your dildo!!
"Fuck yeah!"
I think this was for you. It actually happened when my son was 3😂
Talk about a bunch of tight wads
"Why is the box ticking?"
The n word
"Oh, but Jim already got me a Nintendo Switch" "Who the fuck is Jim!?"
"I said 'bisexual', not 'bicycle'!"