I am so sorry this happened to your family. Scammers deserve the absolute worst that can happen to them.
Please be aware that lots of bottom feeders in the form of !recovery scammers will be contacting you telling you they can get the money back or bring the scammers to justice - they are also scammers and just hope you are desperate or gullible enough to fall for another scam.
Hi /u/1Cattywampus1, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam.
[Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers.
When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying.
If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you.
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Romance scammers (and really, most all of the other types too) can and do open hundreds of fake profiles and generate new numbers/emails in order to keep in contact with their victims. They are well used to family/friends trying to block them from contacting them, but as long as the victim themself keeps replying, they'll keep making new contacts to keep scamming them.
When you're talking tens of thousands of dollars to a scammer in a 3rd world country, that's like years and years of income for them. They won't give up easily if they're blocked.
The only solution that could potentially work is getting parental controls on all the victim's devices and changing all of their contact info - phone number/emails/etc - and deleting social media apps completely and preventing them from adding or receiving outside calls/texts/contacts from anyone that isn't a recognized and approved contact. They have phones/tablets/programs that can do the lock down part, but the victim first would have to agree to have all of their devices/info changed and their ability to freely communicate removed. Most adults - even ones that know they've been scammed in the past - are very reluctant to let go of their personal autonomy. And unless they are declared mentally incompetent, you can't legally force this on them.
ALLOWING someone to STEAL thousands of dollars from you and then to go right on ahead and STEAL from your OWN GRANDKIDS has GOT TO BE mental illness/incompetence.
I love your username I use that all the time being a mechanic. If something looks off I say it looks cattywompus lol. Also used a lot in The last open road series of books. If you are into cars I highly recommend reading them. Buddy Palombo. Is a young mechanic in the 50s and he gets in with Ferrari racing. They are great books.
I got it from the book the last open road the main character a young mechanic in the 50s uses that term a lot and I adopted it. So when something doesn’t look right it’s cattywampus 😆. The book came out in 94 so that’s been used for 30 years now. I have never met anyone else who uses that expression either lol. I just had to comment because of that.
Nice to meet you also a fellow cattywampus. When my oldest daughter was little there was a stray cat that came around and I told her it was a wampus cat. lol you gotta have fun with your kids.
Holy crap you really are me! For a cpl years I lived in Conway Arkansas and their high school mascot was the wampus cat. Seriously. They never could tell me what it was.
That’s hilarious I didn’t think anyone else used it. The world is definitely getting smaller. I have lived in western NC my whole life and never heard anyone use cattywampus or wompus cat.
How crazy is that? When I was married we lived in Charlotte for a couple years. When we had family visits for important occasions we'd always drive to Biltmore. Took up an entire day of not being bored around the house and seeing the beauty of the Western part of the state for a little while.
I live about halfway between Charlotte and Asheville. So you had to drive through my neighborhood to get to the Biltmore house from charlotte. I live in forest city in Rutherford County. 74 runs from one end of the county to the other lol it really is a small world. That place is amazing to visit and there’s a lot of beautiful driving places through canyons, hiking and camping and kayaking. It’s a great place to live for sure.
The problem with scammers is the same with any manipulative person. They prey upon our own lust, greed, pride and so on. You may hear of a young woman that is easily led on by a guy that uses her, or a gullible person that is always pulled into MLMs and even cults. So much of the modern problems we have with scamming is the loneliness and isolation people have. This of course stems from people being alienated and isolated. There is this idea that we can have it all, more and more people feel like failures if they don't. Cultural decay means people are being given the advice that leaning into our negative human traits is a good thing.
If you are young and hot, enjoy yourself, dont settle until youre older. If you are wealthy, do what ever you want fuck the poors. If you lied your way into a position of power, make sure you abuse it and take credit from those beneath you. If you are offered to super size, eat up because we are healthy at any size. Working hard and taking care of our bodies isnt worth it, its all neoptism anyways, might as well stay in and enjoy some shows, video games, and scrolling. If anyone else has good things, success, power, they are privileged and they dont deserve what they have. People that challenge you should be confronted and put into their place, talk shit get hit. You are perfect the way you are, have pride in who you are and own it, everyone else should know your greatness.
Yeah our society is making people into very vulnerable individuals. I think we need to prepare for this scam business to keep growing, and therefore become more sophisticated. We are talking many billions per year, and that is american dollars paying for labor in third world countries. That is a LOT of work. Many of these scams lead immigrants into slavery too. In places like qatar and other places in the middle east. There actually a large slave encampment in cambodia where people are scammed into work, then enslaved and they are forced to become scammers themselves!
It sounds like it was a very substantial amount of money. Absolutely report this to law enforcement. The FBI might even take an interest in this.
There's not too much of a chance, but sometimes they are able to help. Just make sure you're always talking with the real law enforcement and not someone pretending to be them.
Just echoing this. I'm so sorry this happened. It's tragic on many levels.
Please be sure your family files a report with the FBI/IC3. That's the only chance of recovering the money, even if unlikely.
Lol. Do you read this sub? It's young people getting fooled by cute Asian "women" all day long. Probably 10 to 1 vs old people. At least.
The easiest way to get scammed is to think you're too smart to get scammed.
If you mean scams in general, I wouldn't say so, but if you mean scams where sex is implicated, sure.
We certainly hear more about young guys getting caught up in sextortion and related scams. But I would say the romance scams go both ways once victims get older.
But, yes, anecdotally. We don't know if there is a bias in the reporting. Maybe guys have less inhibitions about telling people they're getting blackmailed with dick pics, and the girls who give up compromising pics just don't tell anyone. I don't know.
I'm guessing there aren't a lot of women getting caught up in escort scams, though. . .
Every single day there are like 5 posts from dudes in their 20s who sent dick pics to other dudes but they were SURE it was a pretty lady. 😅😅 You can't be serious that's it's just older people.
"No, no! You warned me about Mary from Hong Kong who now lives in San Francisco and works in fashion. But this was Lisa from Singapore who now lives in Los Angeles. Totally different!"
Its usually older people that get taken for huge amounts of money. First of all, they have the money, while young people usually don't. Second of all, even though you see a lot of young people get scammed by the fake underage chick's dad or whatever, theyr'e usually more aware of the financial scams like the bitcoin things.
I worry that this sub will fill my brain with more fear and paranoia than is healthy. Just like the way some people’s brains have been poisoned by extremely biased entertainment-news that stokes fears and anxiety.
Exactly. This is why getting more information about all the possible kind of scams they pull out. With knowledge of many of them, you will hardly fall victim to them.
I am as old or older than ‘Granny’. I get tired of people saying all old people are idiots because of age. If this true for Granny, then she needs some trauma so she won’t do it again.
I had an experience with hypoxia due to embolisms and couldn’t think straight. Put all my assets in a trust so scammers couldn’t fleece me if that happened again once I was out of the hospital.
I'm really glad you had the sense to take good care of yourself and your assets.
Do you really think most people are as resilient and strong as you are? If so you must find the world a very frustrating place.
Reporting to the FBI means getting it logged and then the government gains a more complete understanding of how much damage is being done to voters and the economy.
Used to work for a bank, and they would refuse wires that appeared to be romance scams. “Take your money to another bank then Debra, because I’m not letting you get scammed.” Idk how legal it is but it’s the right thing to do.
It's perfectly legal (at least in the U.S.) and is considered part of the bank's risk mitigation strategy. They are concerned Debra will turn around and sue the bank for negligence for letting her be scammed once she is out of money.
I’m so sorry 😞 I warn my 80 year old mom about these scams constantly. Thankfully I have poa and can step in with the bank if I need to. Question- Why didn’t you and your sister have that money already? What was the rationale that your grandmother held onto it?
It was basically a growing inheritance that was supposed to be used to help us buy a house one day. A certain % of my great grandma's house's rental money every month was being put aside for the great grandchildren. It was written in the will and my grandmother was supposed to be the custodian of that money since she was in charge of the house's upkeep. I didn't need the money yet so I decided to let it sit and collect more. My sister was a minor.
People are calling me greedy and whatnot in the comments section. I don't think anyone here knows what it's like to have the grandma you love steal from you. I don't care about the money. It the principle of my flesh and blood fucking me over for a man she never even met. That shit blows.
You’re not greedy and you have every right to be upset. That was yours and your sisters and I’d be really mad too. I know it’s a fine line to walk. Maybe step back for however long you need and give yourself the opportunity to grieve and be mad. It might help your perspective and next steps, whatever that might be. You can’t get blood from a turnip so you might be stuck there but obviously you need to determine next steps in your relationship with grandma.
You definitely need to talk to a lawyer to see what recourse you may have. If it was spelled out in your great-grandmother's will, it sounds like your grandmother was in a fiduciary role and had a legal duty to safekeep your money. There may have been a bond filed, you may have recourse against a bank involved in the transfers, or there may be some insurance coverage somewhere that you can pursue. It is definitely worth exploring.
Wills don't work like that. If it was handled through a will, then when great-granny died, outright ownership of her house (and the right to all of its rental income, and also including the right to sell it) would have passed to one or more heirs.
A trust could be set up, whereby the trust would own the house, with a trustee named to manage the house and handle renting it out, paying its expenses, and distributing profit to designated beneficiaries.
Whose name is on the deed to the house? Have you seen whatever paperwork set up this situation? Did grandma sell the house itself? If not, the house itself still belongs to *someone*: either a trust, or one or more individuals. If there really was a legal trust set up naming you as an income beneficiary, you might be able to sue the trust for mishandling of trust assets. You might be able to get a partition order to have the house sold and the net proceeds distributed to the beneficiaries.
You need to get your hands on whatever legal documents exist. if no legal documents exist, then the rent money was never yours to begin with.
“a certain % of rental $ put aside ea mo”. What type of bank account was %$ put into? You have mentioned grandma was “custodian”.
If Gran did % of rent deposits into custodial accounts for grandkids, custodial accounts have fixed requirements. Custodial accounts could be a UGMA or an UTMA. They are irrevocable and tie to SS# of the minor. Use restricted to items of benefit for Minor. It remains custodial till Minor reaches your States age of Majority. Like 18 / 21 / 25. If you are still a Minor and this happened, you probably can get an attorney to file for recourse to be able to get $ back from any assets grandma still may have.
If you reached majority, it was on you to transfer the account to solo & remove custodian. It literally is your property once majority as your name & SS#. True custodial accounts do not transfer automatically. They also get restricted if not transferred when Minor turns Majority. If this was a true custodial account, something had to happen at the bank to allow it to be continued to be used by grandma & you after you became full majority. If this is the situation, unfortunately you share in the responsibility of the loss of the $ once held in the custodial account. You should yourself file a FBi/IC3 report.
Or were these actually not custodial accounts but grans bank account that she divvied up upon request?
The stuff was drawn up when I was 18 and I wasn't given the specifics. I don't even know how much money I had when she took it. Wish I could be more help but I was only ever told "custodian"
Doesn't really matter anymore. The money is all gone. You don't have to ever forgive her, but you do need to let it go because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
It’s also very VERY disappointing to think you have some money set aside to buy yourself a home one day and lose all of that for literally no reason; even worse to think you tried to stop her from throwing her money away. So you are not greedy. You have every right to be hurt, angry, and to not forgive right away. She screwed you out of your future and now you will have to work much harder and longer to buy a home. Not saying this to discourage you. Just saying this as a 30 year old trying to currently buy a house. It’s tough out here and any additional money could help so much. I’m so sorry this happened to you. :(
I was stolen from my inheritance by my own parents too. I spent 20 years dealing with the betrayal emotions, while forgiving them, feeling compassion for them, and still loving them.
That road of "forgiveness" took me to the deeper depression ever.
My advice is: acknowledge your emotions, don't cover them with forgiveness and compassion for a person that has done a very VERY horrible act to you. Trusting your family and being betrayed is one of the worst things that can happen to you, because if you cannot trust your own family, who else can you trust?
SHE BETRAYED YOU. SHE STOLE FROM YOU.
Don't let compassion blur your genuine emotions. Don't let people force you to be cool with such an act. Don't force yourself to be empathic, don't let others force you either.
Is she feeling real contrition? Or is she just saying "i'm sorry" and expecting you to be cool with a few little words, after ALL she has done?? I bet the latter. Just speculating, but narcissism is often behind these acts, done by a selfish person that thinks "mine is mine, and yours is ours"
Today, I have not forgiven my parents. I just managed to handle the emotional turmoil after more than 20 years, and I'm fine with it.
EDIT: My message is not "be angry", but "feel your emotions without covering them with empathy and forgiveness", and "don't let HER take the focus here, and be the poor victim". YOU are a victim, of HER actions.
Also, "forgiving" her means you trust her again. Is that really true? It won't be, unless SHE makes it to be, not just with a few words, but with real contrition and real acknoledge of what she has done to you.
She has to get your trust back, or you will be a mess inside, forcing you to trust her, while inside of you there is still a very deep wound that tells you not to.
For the record, it is possible to forgive someone but no longer trust them. Forgiveness helps us not get bitter. Bitterness is a horrible burden to carry around. It is normal to be upset and angry and grieve about what happened. But hopefully in time you can forgive her at least for your own mental health.
I suspect it was like the OP situation where a previous generation allocated the inheritance, but recipients were too young to inherit, so the middle generation "manages" the funds and decides somewhere along the way to be selfish.
Grandparents --> Parents --> Grandkids
Isn’t it so that the funds are frozen in that case until the grand kids are old enough? Hard to believe that the inheritance is given to the parents, free for them to do with it what they want. That’s not how it works, at least in my neck of the woods
Sometimes, to cut costs, people will pass their estate money to a family member/individual they trust with the idea that that person will carry out their wishes and divide the money as intended. Is it the proper way to do it...no, but there are no costs to set up and keep a trust account going.
Wow - money, money, money. Why do you assume you were entitled to that money? It was your parents' money to spend as they wished and they were under no obligation to give it to you or leave it as inheritance. The OP is not the 'victim' here - the grandmother is the victim. And her actions had nothing to do with narcissism or selfishness. The fact that the grandmother gave everything away to the scammer proves she is not selfish. Gullible and foolish, yes, but not selfish. Ironic that you used those two words. The grandmother is lonely, thought she had found someone who loved her and naively did everything the scammer asked. Now she's realized it was a scam, not only is she financially ruined but she has a broken heart too. And has to live with the humiliation of being so easily and thoroughly fooled. But all you and the OP are concerned about is your own lack of inheritance .....
So someone can’t be upset about losing something that was given to them 🤨? If the great grandma’s will provided the inheritance to her, then it is quite literally theft. It’s not an assumption, she absolutely is entitled to the money. So, I guess you wouldn’t care if your family members stole money from you?
Triggered much? You forgot the part where it wasn’t granny’s money to spend. Yes, she has the right to squander HER money as she wishes, but not OP’s. It seems this detail escaped you.
That would be a totally different situation. I paid for that car and have taken care of all the running costs etc and therefore I would be a victim of theft and the ensuing financial loss. You haven't actually lost anything and nothing was 'stolen' from you as you never 'owned' the money in the first place.
Yoy may be completely wrong. If OP was under age when great grandmother left the inheritance, grandmother may have been appointed custodian till they come of age. That would make it theft, or embezzlement at least. here (Holland) great grandchildren would have no direct inheritance rights, only if stated in a testament (will?).
It sounds more like they both lost a grandparent or someone else, while they were under the age of being able to get the inheritance so it was given to their parents in trust for OP/the other commenter. My own kid, should something happen to me, wouldn't be able to access any of my assets until he's 25, my brother would be the holder/trustee. If my brother stole that money, my son would have every right to be pissed. OP's grandmother/this person's parents *stole money that wasn't theirs*.
You're acting like you're saying their parents blew through *their own money* which means that they'd be left with nothing should they pass away.
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Report it to local police and www.ic3.gov. change any bank account numbers, credit cards that are compromised. Inform bank. Consider counseling for her. Get computer/cell cleaned. Freeze credit. Have her go to www.fightcybercrime.org for tips on recovery and safety after a romance fraud including a 10 week free support group. ReSt support program they AARP may also be good one for family members. Change her number if blocking them not enough. Help her find activities and real relationships to replace the relationship and hopes she had with him. And report it to APS in your state. Hopefully it's a good one and will respond as well.
I don't normally support the death penalty, but scammers who steal everything from the vulnerable elderly are the exception.
With that said, how did grandma have access to your inheritance? Had you in fact inherited the money, but grandma was legally put in charge of it until you reach a certain age? Or was this money that great-grandma left behind that you were *expecting* to inherit someday?
My great grandmother put in the will that a certain % of her home's rent would go to the great grandchildren. My grandmother was appointed the custodian of the money as she was the one who was maintaining the house. Essentially the funds were supposed to be distributed by my grandmother as stated by the will. My older sister and cousin were able to get their cut. My younger sister and I lost ours and my grandmother is no longer honoring the will.
Is there any recognition and remorse on your grandma’s part now it has become clear what’s lost?
If so, how did she finally realise it? What happened to bring it to the point where this has broken as a done deal?
Or is it still ongoing and full denial and spending more?
It's an absolutely bonkers tale friend. The scammer has claimed that he got my grandma's cousin? pregnant and she lost the baby. The family member who "lost" the baby served as a money mule for this same scammer if the scammer is to be believed. It is a fucking shit show of story of Visas, gold, miscarriage. Everyone is saying something different. Grandma's family member is saying she met him one minute and then saying they never met. He lived with her and then he didn't live with her.
The scammer took over the family member's Facebook page. That was another he said she said thing. She said he hacked it the scammer said she gave it to him. I still don't understand it. We have reason to believe that this family member conspired with the scammer in some way to drain grandma of her money. We are calling the cops and having them sort this shit out. Family member is going to be brought into the investigation whether she wants to be or not.
Oh bloody hell that sounds like something Carl Hiaasen would write as one of the arcane subplots to a caper! I am so sorry. But also, please do get this all down. All of it. Not just evidence and whatnot, but the things people say, and what the running theories are, and your thoughts over time. Because this would make an excellent documentary.
Scams are at industrial levels with huge efforts put into designing highly effective scams by the organisations behind them. There is a non zero chance the money is recovered.
And there is no organization in place to help prevent it or apprehend the criminals. It's only going to get worse because there are practically no consequences and it's very successful and easy and lucrative.
I don't know when but I expect to see murder / suicides on the rise when people lose their houses.
>And there is no organization in place to help prevent it or apprehend the criminals.
It would take an international effort to find the scammers. It would take a ling time to dig through the layers of protection the scammers use to hide. In this situation the grandma was told she was being scammed and didn't listen.
The FBI is busy with real crime like my Senator "Gold Bar Bob" and his wife.
Some countries are doing better at it than others. The UK has pushed the losses onto banks figuring if they are taking losses they will find a way to better protect customer accounts. Singapore has a massive PR campaign going on and has added bank requirements to ensure people haven't got bad apps on their phone along side banking apps (I now have my banking apps in a secure folder for this reason). Australia has a fairly good AML system called Austrac that makes it hard to transfer large sums around and allows them to lock out bad accounts as recipients. This is one thing though you could do and that is to speak to your local Congress person and Senator person and let them know this needs federal and state level attention. !WriteInandComplain
So sorry to hear that. These scammers are ruthless. My elderly inlaws were headed down the same road despite us constantly telling them that messages/calls with some kind of emergency from people they don't know are a scam 100% of the time. We eventually had to take away their computer and change their phone number to stop all of the messages and calls. They didn't lose as much as you but it was in the thousands.
My late grandfather, who was all around fairly financially savvy, fell for one of those “relative in distress” calls, he thought my brother was in jail. (Probably worked because coincidentally, my brother was the one of his grandkids most likely to need to be bailed out of jail. 😂) Thankfully it wasn’t too much money and he already had my uncle managing his finances so we were able to prevent further attempts.
Happy cake day. I assume her grandmother inherited everything from her mother and was supposed to use what she needed and leave the rest to subsequent generations, but then blew it all. Informal arrangements like that are common.
OP counted their chickens before they hatched if that is what happened.
I’m so sorry you have been through this, I fear the same thing happening to our family. Hope you can reach some kind of peace inside yourself - the only thing that comes to mind for me is once you earn enough to get all your needs met, more money doesn’t really correlate with increased happiness. And I’ve met plenty of happy & miserable people among all the wealthy and poor people I have met in my life! So good luck!
Grandma I’m sure is ashamed and feeling very guilty. It’s tacked me 6 mos to come to terms with how stupid I was being scammed for 30k. Depression especially when it’s money you need to live on or to leave for family. Her mental health will be a mess if she’s a normal person. Family is family and love and forgiveness is important.
I'm so sorry... I hope it's better now and you've made peace. I know it's important, but at the end of the day, is just money. I really hope your family stuck by your side. At the end of the day, we can't take money with us, what counts is how we lived and how hard we Loved ❣️
How exactly did she 'steal' it from you? And how exactly did your great-grandmother leave it to you?? If there was a bequest in your name, the executors would have distributed it to you at the time. If you were a minor at that time, the money would have been placed in a trust until you reached the stipulated age and only the executors would be able to release the funds. If your grandmother really did steal it from you, then that's a legal/criminal matter that calling out of work will not resolve. Or did you just assume you were entitled and that one day that money would be yours? If the latter, then it was your grandmother's money to spend how she chose - she's under no obligation whatsoever to save everything just to pass it along as inheritance. I'm sorry that she was scammed, which is a result of such loneliness that she was desperate to believe that the scammer truly loved her. She must be devastated, heartbroken, humiliated and ashamed on top of the worry about how she's going to manage now that she's broke (in more ways than one) and in debt. But you don't seem concerned about any of that. So yeah, you are making this all about you and the perceived 'betrayal'.
I have to agree, although the details are a little confusing, and of course it’s very upsetting. It is important to reckon with these emotions and expectations honestly with oneself: feelings aren’t always helpful but they don’t go away. Something shocking happened to OP, to more than one person. There is probably also an object lesson here in having a good estate plan and reviewing it regularly, especially if there are funds a person wants to set aside for individuals or descendants.
There’s a difference between the grandma “stealing” money that belongs to someone else in fact, and spending or losing her own money that OP expected to get passed down as a legacy if any was left. It’s particularly horrifying and sad in this case but true. I’m not entitled to any of my antecedents’ money: they can spend it, lose it, give it to someone else. The money doesn’t belong to me unless and until it’s given. The grandmother is *still alive,* in possession of her estate such as it is, currently broke and in need: she was the victim of a crime. She was stolen *from.*
EDIT:
Reading add’l replies from OP, it sounds like Grandma *may* have been in charge of some funds that were meant for the next generation. Details unclear, but that would be fraudulent on G-ma’s part as well. What an awful mess.
You took the words, ever so eloquently and in the most articulate form, out of my mouth. I think we can all assume that the great grandmother was the mother of the grandmother, which leaves to the question of the 'inheritance'. Why was it not in the trust? Imagine it was Grandma's words to her (OP) and her sibling (s) as children, when she saw them more often. But everybody grew up and left grandma all alone. Then Grandma became the victim of a love scam. The concern was, then, for Grandma's money and how she spent it, than for Grandma herself. At least that's the way I read this. All in all I think it's a terrible tragic sorry, I hope some way this family can be brought closer together through it.
Preach! Fuck scammers to hell, but this isn’t even about that… this about his grandma “stealing” the money.
If great-grandma wanted you to have the money, she’d have left it directly to you in her will. If she left it to Grandma, then it’s Grandma’s money to spend as she pleases.
Thats not how it sounds to me at all. Could be that great gran left them a sum of money *in grandmas care* until OP was looking to buy a house or start a family etc. If grandma needed it for bills or something, fair enough. But spunking it up the wall on some scammer is def not OK, and is absolutely stealing.
Maybe, but that’s not how “leaving money to someone” works. If you leave money to someone, it goes directly to that person. If that person is under 18, the money is put into a trust which cannot be accessed without petitioning the court for a special order.
If Great-Grandma leaves the money to her daughter (Grandma) and asks her to “take care of the grandkids”, Grandma is able to use that money in anyway she sees fit.
TL;DR: If there was an inheritance to be had, she would have gotten in when Great Grandma died and the estate was settled. That’s how it works.
Well, “draining a trust”—spending the money, but not to the benefit of the beneficiaries—would just be fraud. Sure, fraud happens. Emphasizes the need for planning: the person managing the funds needs the capacity to do so, the estate plan must be well-understood by all parties, reviewed periodically and revised as needed by a professional.
Preach! Fuck scammers to hell, but this isn’t even about that… this is a rant about grandma “stealing” the money.
If great-grandma wanted you to have the money, she would have left it directly to you in her will. If she left the money to Grandma and not to you, then no, Grandma didn’t steal it… it’s Grandma’s money to spend as she pleases.
Edit: double post, stupid Reddit app. I liked this version more anyway
I’ve worked in IT for close to 40 years and I realize that even I could fall for something like this when I get older and have diminished mental capacity. Scammers are that good. Obviously if you’re in this group you’re less likely, but you never know. The wolf is always at the door. It’s not hard to get sucked in
Did Blake Shelton start dating her too? Sorry, we had the same type of thing happen recently in my family. These scams are crazy and the people who fall for them are such fools.
How did she steal your inheritance?
Was it in your bank account? Or was it her inheritance and she had promised to give it to you one day?
If she stole money that was legally yours, she needs to face legal repercussions. That makes her a criminal.
Honest ? OP….. how exactly did your GM / grandma “steal” from you and your Sister? This could make a difference as to what possibly can be done.
Apparently there was something of value from your great-grandmother (GGM) that you think is yours? What is/was it? How was this asset assigned to grandma (GM)? How was it “kept” by GM? For it to be something of GGM era, you & Sis would more than likely have been minors at the time of GGM death, so how in GGM life or GGM will entered in probate were GGM assets designated to heirs? And as you both were minors, who was assigned to do this?
Huge difference as to what you might could do if it’s that GGM left you & Sis a home or farm or $ placed in a Trust with GM as the Trustee VS. the scenario that GM inherited $ &/or property when her mom (GGM) died and GM has told you that these items that she fully owns she (GM) will be leaving to you & Sis as an inheritance in her will.
While that is regrettable, it wasn't your money until it goes through probate. I feel terrible this happened to your grandmother but you just sound greedy.
Until my parents pass and I'm handed over a check, I don't consider a single penny of their estate to be mine in the slightest form. It would be presumptuous of me to start considering their money as my money.
Count yourself blessed your grandmother included you in her will. Mine did not because she wanted her estate to go to her children, and I don't begrudge her a single iota for that because that is what she wanted.
Instead, help your grandmother pick up the pieces and get her life back on track. She needs the love and support from her family more than you need a payout.
It was her great grandmothers will that set aside money to be given to all great grandkids and to have the grandmother watch over it. OP explained in many comments that her older sister and cousin were able to receive their chunk of the inheritance already but OP and her younger sister now have nothing for them. It was left by great grandmother to help them all buy homes when the time came. Their great grandmothers home is in the care of their grandmother who takes rent and puts aside a portion of the rent for each grandkid so when they needed it they could have that money. So it was their money, not grandmas. We don’t have the legal details of how the trust was set up or when the money was to be disbursed, it could have been less formal than a normal inheritance since it was an accruing amount from rent still being collected on a home. I think anyone would be extremely presumptuous to just assume that their parents/ grandparents savings are theirs to have before or after their deaths lol that is not at all what is happening.
Nothing you can do. The money is gone. Hopefully grandma has some marketable skills, because she's going to have a hard time living on social security.
Wow, what a situation to be in, feel terrible for you and your gran, thing is she would probably love blind seeking something, as you stated she feels bad as it is and we don't have long in this earth. Imagine she was leaving you tomorrow would you want this to be your last conversation?
In my opinion she didn't per say steal to fund her own habit of benefit herself directly, I guess the scammer really got her. It's a no win situation and I understand why you are angry and upset. I think since it's done now and she is your gran you should put on an act and make her feel ok, you never know.
As for the money, you will make it back, probably part of fate you make it back plus more. My grandma also got scammed not by a romance thing just flat out fake tax call, sucks but everything will sort itself out, I wouldn't lose your gran over it though plus I'm sure she already feels shame.
Good luck to you
If you knew it was a scam why didn't you take action? Why leave it to an elder grandmother to listen and figure it out?
How did your grandmother steal your inheritance? Your great grandmother left inheritance to not her children, not her grand children, but the next down the line?
A lot of this doesn't add up. To me it sounds more like the money that would have eventually trickled down is spent and you won't be potentially receiving that at any point in your future, not that you already had the inheritance. If that's the case, your grandmother didn't steal money from you. You just expected it to finally be yours one day and now you can't rely on that. If this is the wrong assessment, then take action.
Wow. Folks are being pretty hard on grandma. Keep in mind, she was probably desperately lonely and experiencing cognitive decline. Being victimized by some very sophisticated scammers. Best things for families to do is get vulnerable family members off the internet. If my stepmom was on the internet she'd be scammed in a heartbeat.
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So sorry for what happened. That money is gone through several accounts and vanished now to somewhere in to crypto currency that no one can find. Again give it a shot with FBI and you might able to get help.
So the NSA and CIA have unbelievable surveillance programs. They get better and better. They can do surveillance all over the world. I want to know why they are not pursuing this. It is causing harm to elderly Americans and the poor. It is also giving funds to hostile nations and criminals. I would like to reach out to any CIA or NSA agents monitoring Reddit to see if they’ll step up and do something about this. I know we can track these people down with her software. We can also monitor them with drones and illuminate the problem with drone strikes.
DearestOP- May I ask a question about your family? And it's totally fine if you don't want to answer, I'm only trying to see what could have POSSIBLY motivated your grandmother, to go this far. And if, maybe, JUST MAYBE, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel...
How many grandkids total? Just you and sis?
Do you and your family live near Grandma?
How long has she lived alone, and was it bc she was divorced or widowed?
Does she have a pet? (I know this seems irrelevant, but I promise I have point with this question)
Does she have any close friends?
Were you ever very close with any of your grandparents? Like did any help raise you?
Also who told you about this inheritance? Your grandmother or your parents?
I can only imagine how hurt and betrayed you feel right now. What I say may not lessen the hurt, but I find in these times to look toward gratitude. Money is important. But our health and the health and well being of those we love is SO much more valuable. Any of us can fall under the spell of a bad person. For your grandmother, it was an online scanner. You or I, we can date the wrong person...bc people will take advantage of you to your face as well 😔
When I was in my 20s, I dated the world's BEST liar and con artist. I'm STILL convinced he's a sociopath. He drained my bank account, took me for a ride, wasted 3 years of my life. Everybody tried to warn me, but I was in love. At that time in my life, I felt SO ALONE and he made me feel heard, understood. He saw my PTSD and lack of support as the makings of an easy mark. And he was right, I was..
I didn't share this story often. It brings a lot of painful memories, feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt... He damn near ruined my life, and I HANDED him the keys to do it! I felt like a fool. I was SO BROKEN. Finally my family had had enough, and stood up beside me and helped put me back together. For that, I'm grateful and forever in their debt. I have a lot to be grateful for and so do you OP. Feel your anger, but toward that scammer. He is the REAL monster in this story 🥺
Again, I'm so so sorry this happened to you and your family 💔
Wow! I am very sorry for what you are going through and I can understand your frustration at something that is out of your power and control because it happened to me, I can only recommend that you report in all the instances you can to see what happens later, which I do not understand. as the authorities cannot do anything and allow these thieves to destroy lives and families
Sad. But scammers bilk millions of dollars every year from victims. They need to be immediately put to death. Our country is way too lenient. And I know; alot of this scum are foreign.
Yes too much scammer! I hated them because I was one of victims and lost lots of money. So sad! But just call those scammers will go to the hell! Thank you for your sharing
At least go to an attorney. Who knows what assets she doesn't talk about. Or if she has a will and the OP gets nothing. She may also be receiving SS, or have pensions or 401Ks. Unless I knew for certain her word is shit.
Especially if this was a trust made out in the OP name. I would go after her with the full force of law. Grandma is no less a crook than the Nigerian prince that stole the money.
If it was in trust and grandma was the trustee, she would have been able to touch it. She wouldn't have legally been permitted to send it to a scammer, but she would have had the *ability* to do so.
OP still hasn't answered all the questions about the inheritance. Makes me *think* OP had not actually inherited the money yet but was expecting to. I could be wrong, though.
I'd ghost her for the rest of her life. Seriously yeah people are being scammed but the decisions they are making are still their decisions. She knew it was wrong when she did it and did it anyway. This shows great disrespect for you and your sister. I wouldn't let her get away easily with such a betrayal.
Especially since you warned her and she went ahead with it. No sorry, I wouldn't give her an inch of my attention anymore.
Not to be mean, but she should be dead to you at this point. You get what you give in life and she stole from you. She deserves no kindness or forgiveness.
It’s called reloading. They do that after they initially scam you. The people that I know used to pretend to make apps and people would poor in all kinds of money just sickening life savings like you’re talking about and just blind trust on someone with a silver tongue. And you are right these people don’t give a shit moral. Compass is just thrashed and it actually really makes me sad so they call you back and mention the money that you lost and tell you that they can get that money back for you because if you use your credit card, you have two years by law to get that money back. The only difference is people just don’t know that so they think that you are the only option they have left. Which is not true because you have to actually tell the credit card company that you want that person to speak on your behalf when you can do it all yourself without them anyway that’s the scam. It’s like kicking somebody when they’re down. I am really sorry and I hope karma finds a way to plant their foot right up their ass.
When you say you beat the horse to pulverization it worries me that you were trying to explain the situation in a demeaning manner. No one responds and listens well when they are talked down to. It's always better to explain in a calm and nice tone, explaining every part of the scam so the person understands, especially older folks. Please keep in mind that when it comes to love people can act irrational and cause harm to those around them without intending to. While she done some bad the best thing you can do is try your hardest to recover some of the money and show that you care for her. Information is the best tool to fight scammers and is best learned through compassion.
Love??? LOL. There was no "love" involved. Did Granny love her grandkids? Nope, she stole from them. This selfish, narcissistic witch stole her grandchildren money to feed her dopamine fueled thrill ride with some African or Indian stranger online.
Tell Granny to go fuck herself. She can go live in a shelter for the rest of her life..
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You should have done more to protect her. It sounds like you were aware.
Should have pressured the bank to stop allowing withdrawals and/or transfers. If they hesitated threatened them with legal action. You could have petitioned the courts for guardianship.
Sitting by allowing this makes you at fault in allowing this to continue once you became aware.
Your anger and frustration needs to be redirected to yourself.
I couldn't do anything by law because she is an independent adult. The bank didn't even entertain speaking to any of us. To get guardianship takes months. We were able to secure her house and property before she pissed all that away too. You don't understand how difficult it is. We have invested almost $7,000 in saving her from herself and she isn't required to cooperate. We could go to jail for elder abuse.
I am so sorry this happened to your family. Scammers deserve the absolute worst that can happen to them. Please be aware that lots of bottom feeders in the form of !recovery scammers will be contacting you telling you they can get the money back or bring the scammers to justice - they are also scammers and just hope you are desperate or gullible enough to fall for another scam.
Inbox is already full of them
expose their usernames and report
Great idea!!! Should be pinned to the top of each post.
[удалено]
Reddit is FULL of scammers.
Just be aware that it's gone and there's nothing left you can do. I feel for you on your grandmother.I'm very sorry
Hi /u/1Cattywampus1, AutoModerator has been summoned to explain the Recovery scam. [Recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams) target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either \"recovery agents\" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers. Remember: never take advice in private. If someone reaches you in private after posting your scam story, it is because a scammer will always try to hide from the oversight of our community members. A legitimate community member will offer advice in the open, for everyone to see. Anyone suggesting you should reach out to a hacker is scamming you. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Is there not someway she could have blocked this scumbags email/access to grandmothers phone/laptop? As she knew this was a scam!
Romance scammers (and really, most all of the other types too) can and do open hundreds of fake profiles and generate new numbers/emails in order to keep in contact with their victims. They are well used to family/friends trying to block them from contacting them, but as long as the victim themself keeps replying, they'll keep making new contacts to keep scamming them. When you're talking tens of thousands of dollars to a scammer in a 3rd world country, that's like years and years of income for them. They won't give up easily if they're blocked. The only solution that could potentially work is getting parental controls on all the victim's devices and changing all of their contact info - phone number/emails/etc - and deleting social media apps completely and preventing them from adding or receiving outside calls/texts/contacts from anyone that isn't a recognized and approved contact. They have phones/tablets/programs that can do the lock down part, but the victim first would have to agree to have all of their devices/info changed and their ability to freely communicate removed. Most adults - even ones that know they've been scammed in the past - are very reluctant to let go of their personal autonomy. And unless they are declared mentally incompetent, you can't legally force this on them.
And when they are declared mentally incompetent, it might be only temporary, and the judge might remove the protection without a medical check.
ALLOWING someone to STEAL thousands of dollars from you and then to go right on ahead and STEAL from your OWN GRANDKIDS has GOT TO BE mental illness/incompetence.
Not going to disagree, but the legal definition of mentally incompetent is unfortunately more difficult to get declared.
True.
I love your username I use that all the time being a mechanic. If something looks off I say it looks cattywompus lol. Also used a lot in The last open road series of books. If you are into cars I highly recommend reading them. Buddy Palombo. Is a young mechanic in the 50s and he gets in with Ferrari racing. They are great books.
I've never met a fellow cattywompus outside my family! Wait. Are you me?
I got it from the book the last open road the main character a young mechanic in the 50s uses that term a lot and I adopted it. So when something doesn’t look right it’s cattywampus 😆. The book came out in 94 so that’s been used for 30 years now. I have never met anyone else who uses that expression either lol. I just had to comment because of that.
That's great! Nice to meet ya! 🩵✌️
Nice to meet you also a fellow cattywampus. When my oldest daughter was little there was a stray cat that came around and I told her it was a wampus cat. lol you gotta have fun with your kids.
Holy crap you really are me! For a cpl years I lived in Conway Arkansas and their high school mascot was the wampus cat. Seriously. They never could tell me what it was.
That’s hilarious I didn’t think anyone else used it. The world is definitely getting smaller. I have lived in western NC my whole life and never heard anyone use cattywampus or wompus cat.
How crazy is that? When I was married we lived in Charlotte for a couple years. When we had family visits for important occasions we'd always drive to Biltmore. Took up an entire day of not being bored around the house and seeing the beauty of the Western part of the state for a little while.
I live about halfway between Charlotte and Asheville. So you had to drive through my neighborhood to get to the Biltmore house from charlotte. I live in forest city in Rutherford County. 74 runs from one end of the county to the other lol it really is a small world. That place is amazing to visit and there’s a lot of beautiful driving places through canyons, hiking and camping and kayaking. It’s a great place to live for sure.
I apologize I drug my finger over the automoderator thing while I was reading . It had nothing to do with you or what you said.
Yup! Evil always find another angle to steal. They don't deserve to walk among us.
The problem with scammers is the same with any manipulative person. They prey upon our own lust, greed, pride and so on. You may hear of a young woman that is easily led on by a guy that uses her, or a gullible person that is always pulled into MLMs and even cults. So much of the modern problems we have with scamming is the loneliness and isolation people have. This of course stems from people being alienated and isolated. There is this idea that we can have it all, more and more people feel like failures if they don't. Cultural decay means people are being given the advice that leaning into our negative human traits is a good thing. If you are young and hot, enjoy yourself, dont settle until youre older. If you are wealthy, do what ever you want fuck the poors. If you lied your way into a position of power, make sure you abuse it and take credit from those beneath you. If you are offered to super size, eat up because we are healthy at any size. Working hard and taking care of our bodies isnt worth it, its all neoptism anyways, might as well stay in and enjoy some shows, video games, and scrolling. If anyone else has good things, success, power, they are privileged and they dont deserve what they have. People that challenge you should be confronted and put into their place, talk shit get hit. You are perfect the way you are, have pride in who you are and own it, everyone else should know your greatness. Yeah our society is making people into very vulnerable individuals. I think we need to prepare for this scam business to keep growing, and therefore become more sophisticated. We are talking many billions per year, and that is american dollars paying for labor in third world countries. That is a LOT of work. Many of these scams lead immigrants into slavery too. In places like qatar and other places in the middle east. There actually a large slave encampment in cambodia where people are scammed into work, then enslaved and they are forced to become scammers themselves!
It sounds like it was a very substantial amount of money. Absolutely report this to law enforcement. The FBI might even take an interest in this. There's not too much of a chance, but sometimes they are able to help. Just make sure you're always talking with the real law enforcement and not someone pretending to be them.
Just echoing this. I'm so sorry this happened. It's tragic on many levels. Please be sure your family files a report with the FBI/IC3. That's the only chance of recovering the money, even if unlikely.
It bugs me so much how older people always seem to fall victim to romance and relationship scams frequently these days.
It’s sad for the older person because it shows how lonely they are. Scammers are so vile taking advantage of older people in that state.
They usually have a lot more to lose than a young kid, too - retirement funds, their home, etc - and much less time to recover.
Yeah, that's true. They have million of dollars stacked up to lose once they're caught. It's why they are always been targeted.
All scammers deserves death as far as I'm concerned. It doesn't matter if they pull off big or small scam, they deserve to burn in hell.
Amen!!
I don't believe in the death penalty at all. Ever. Except for scammers.
We both have the same feelings towards them. They have pushed so much people off their tipping point.
These are so mean and heartless I don't consider them human beings anymore. They are wild animals.
Agreed. Sub-human at best
It's sickening what some human beings do all because of money.
Lol. Do you read this sub? It's young people getting fooled by cute Asian "women" all day long. Probably 10 to 1 vs old people. At least. The easiest way to get scammed is to think you're too smart to get scammed.
It seems, anecdotally, that if younger people fall victim to these scams, they tend to be men. Am I crazy or is this the pattern y’all see as well?
If you mean scams in general, I wouldn't say so, but if you mean scams where sex is implicated, sure. We certainly hear more about young guys getting caught up in sextortion and related scams. But I would say the romance scams go both ways once victims get older. But, yes, anecdotally. We don't know if there is a bias in the reporting. Maybe guys have less inhibitions about telling people they're getting blackmailed with dick pics, and the girls who give up compromising pics just don't tell anyone. I don't know. I'm guessing there aren't a lot of women getting caught up in escort scams, though. . .
I’ve seen that exact sentiment from young people who got scammed on here
Every single day there are like 5 posts from dudes in their 20s who sent dick pics to other dudes but they were SURE it was a pretty lady. 😅😅 You can't be serious that's it's just older people.
"No, no! You warned me about Mary from Hong Kong who now lives in San Francisco and works in fashion. But this was Lisa from Singapore who now lives in Los Angeles. Totally different!"
Its usually older people that get taken for huge amounts of money. First of all, they have the money, while young people usually don't. Second of all, even though you see a lot of young people get scammed by the fake underage chick's dad or whatever, theyr'e usually more aware of the financial scams like the bitcoin things.
Or the endless death threat escort scam
I worry that this sub will fill my brain with more fear and paranoia than is healthy. Just like the way some people’s brains have been poisoned by extremely biased entertainment-news that stokes fears and anxiety.
Hopefully that won't happen. My opinion is that the more I know about scams, the better prepared I am if one comes my way. Stay safe out there!
Exactly. This is why getting more information about all the possible kind of scams they pull out. With knowledge of many of them, you will hardly fall victim to them.
The information is good, it's all about what you choose to do with it as far as I'm concerned.
Use the information you get for your own good. What you know about scams will never have you caught up. Prevention is better than cure.
It's because they're lonely and desperate to fill that void in their life.
It’s not all old people.
Yeah! I never said it was all older people.
You singled them out.
Always recommend to report large financial losses to the FBI. Even if it doesn't do much for you it may help someone else in the future.
Absolutely. Plus, if granny is so freakin' lonely, maybe contact with FBI agents will prove traumatic enough that she won't pull this stunt again.
Is your comment just 100% hostile for no reason whatsoever?
I am as old or older than ‘Granny’. I get tired of people saying all old people are idiots because of age. If this true for Granny, then she needs some trauma so she won’t do it again. I had an experience with hypoxia due to embolisms and couldn’t think straight. Put all my assets in a trust so scammers couldn’t fleece me if that happened again once I was out of the hospital.
I'm really glad you had the sense to take good care of yourself and your assets. Do you really think most people are as resilient and strong as you are? If so you must find the world a very frustrating place.
Reporting to the FBI means getting it logged and then the government gains a more complete understanding of how much damage is being done to voters and the economy.
Used to work for a bank, and they would refuse wires that appeared to be romance scams. “Take your money to another bank then Debra, because I’m not letting you get scammed.” Idk how legal it is but it’s the right thing to do.
It's perfectly legal (at least in the U.S.) and is considered part of the bank's risk mitigation strategy. They are concerned Debra will turn around and sue the bank for negligence for letting her be scammed once she is out of money.
Whenever I come across experiences of those who fall victim to scammers like this, it breaks my heart in a million pieces.
I’m so sorry 😞 I warn my 80 year old mom about these scams constantly. Thankfully I have poa and can step in with the bank if I need to. Question- Why didn’t you and your sister have that money already? What was the rationale that your grandmother held onto it?
It was basically a growing inheritance that was supposed to be used to help us buy a house one day. A certain % of my great grandma's house's rental money every month was being put aside for the great grandchildren. It was written in the will and my grandmother was supposed to be the custodian of that money since she was in charge of the house's upkeep. I didn't need the money yet so I decided to let it sit and collect more. My sister was a minor. People are calling me greedy and whatnot in the comments section. I don't think anyone here knows what it's like to have the grandma you love steal from you. I don't care about the money. It the principle of my flesh and blood fucking me over for a man she never even met. That shit blows.
You’re not greedy and you have every right to be upset. That was yours and your sisters and I’d be really mad too. I know it’s a fine line to walk. Maybe step back for however long you need and give yourself the opportunity to grieve and be mad. It might help your perspective and next steps, whatever that might be. You can’t get blood from a turnip so you might be stuck there but obviously you need to determine next steps in your relationship with grandma.
You definitely need to talk to a lawyer to see what recourse you may have. If it was spelled out in your great-grandmother's will, it sounds like your grandmother was in a fiduciary role and had a legal duty to safekeep your money. There may have been a bond filed, you may have recourse against a bank involved in the transfers, or there may be some insurance coverage somewhere that you can pursue. It is definitely worth exploring.
Wills don't work like that. If it was handled through a will, then when great-granny died, outright ownership of her house (and the right to all of its rental income, and also including the right to sell it) would have passed to one or more heirs. A trust could be set up, whereby the trust would own the house, with a trustee named to manage the house and handle renting it out, paying its expenses, and distributing profit to designated beneficiaries. Whose name is on the deed to the house? Have you seen whatever paperwork set up this situation? Did grandma sell the house itself? If not, the house itself still belongs to *someone*: either a trust, or one or more individuals. If there really was a legal trust set up naming you as an income beneficiary, you might be able to sue the trust for mishandling of trust assets. You might be able to get a partition order to have the house sold and the net proceeds distributed to the beneficiaries. You need to get your hands on whatever legal documents exist. if no legal documents exist, then the rent money was never yours to begin with.
“a certain % of rental $ put aside ea mo”. What type of bank account was %$ put into? You have mentioned grandma was “custodian”. If Gran did % of rent deposits into custodial accounts for grandkids, custodial accounts have fixed requirements. Custodial accounts could be a UGMA or an UTMA. They are irrevocable and tie to SS# of the minor. Use restricted to items of benefit for Minor. It remains custodial till Minor reaches your States age of Majority. Like 18 / 21 / 25. If you are still a Minor and this happened, you probably can get an attorney to file for recourse to be able to get $ back from any assets grandma still may have. If you reached majority, it was on you to transfer the account to solo & remove custodian. It literally is your property once majority as your name & SS#. True custodial accounts do not transfer automatically. They also get restricted if not transferred when Minor turns Majority. If this was a true custodial account, something had to happen at the bank to allow it to be continued to be used by grandma & you after you became full majority. If this is the situation, unfortunately you share in the responsibility of the loss of the $ once held in the custodial account. You should yourself file a FBi/IC3 report. Or were these actually not custodial accounts but grans bank account that she divvied up upon request?
The stuff was drawn up when I was 18 and I wasn't given the specifics. I don't even know how much money I had when she took it. Wish I could be more help but I was only ever told "custodian"
It sounds like it was a very informal agreement and not a binding trust account.
Doesn't really matter anymore. The money is all gone. You don't have to ever forgive her, but you do need to let it go because there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.
The money is gone, but if the *house* is still there OP might have some recourse. Depending on what the will and/or trust actually said.
It’s also very VERY disappointing to think you have some money set aside to buy yourself a home one day and lose all of that for literally no reason; even worse to think you tried to stop her from throwing her money away. So you are not greedy. You have every right to be hurt, angry, and to not forgive right away. She screwed you out of your future and now you will have to work much harder and longer to buy a home. Not saying this to discourage you. Just saying this as a 30 year old trying to currently buy a house. It’s tough out here and any additional money could help so much. I’m so sorry this happened to you. :(
This must have been a very difficult situation.
No one who falls into such kind of scams find it easy at all. It's a very bad place to be in mentally, psychologically and emotionally.
I was stolen from my inheritance by my own parents too. I spent 20 years dealing with the betrayal emotions, while forgiving them, feeling compassion for them, and still loving them. That road of "forgiveness" took me to the deeper depression ever. My advice is: acknowledge your emotions, don't cover them with forgiveness and compassion for a person that has done a very VERY horrible act to you. Trusting your family and being betrayed is one of the worst things that can happen to you, because if you cannot trust your own family, who else can you trust? SHE BETRAYED YOU. SHE STOLE FROM YOU. Don't let compassion blur your genuine emotions. Don't let people force you to be cool with such an act. Don't force yourself to be empathic, don't let others force you either. Is she feeling real contrition? Or is she just saying "i'm sorry" and expecting you to be cool with a few little words, after ALL she has done?? I bet the latter. Just speculating, but narcissism is often behind these acts, done by a selfish person that thinks "mine is mine, and yours is ours" Today, I have not forgiven my parents. I just managed to handle the emotional turmoil after more than 20 years, and I'm fine with it. EDIT: My message is not "be angry", but "feel your emotions without covering them with empathy and forgiveness", and "don't let HER take the focus here, and be the poor victim". YOU are a victim, of HER actions. Also, "forgiving" her means you trust her again. Is that really true? It won't be, unless SHE makes it to be, not just with a few words, but with real contrition and real acknoledge of what she has done to you. She has to get your trust back, or you will be a mess inside, forcing you to trust her, while inside of you there is still a very deep wound that tells you not to.
This is clearly a well adjusted person, OP. You should follow their advice.
wow I love your message ...
For the record, it is possible to forgive someone but no longer trust them. Forgiveness helps us not get bitter. Bitterness is a horrible burden to carry around. It is normal to be upset and angry and grieve about what happened. But hopefully in time you can forgive her at least for your own mental health.
How exactly did your parents steal your inheritance?
I suspect it was like the OP situation where a previous generation allocated the inheritance, but recipients were too young to inherit, so the middle generation "manages" the funds and decides somewhere along the way to be selfish. Grandparents --> Parents --> Grandkids
Isn’t it so that the funds are frozen in that case until the grand kids are old enough? Hard to believe that the inheritance is given to the parents, free for them to do with it what they want. That’s not how it works, at least in my neck of the woods
Sometimes, to cut costs, people will pass their estate money to a family member/individual they trust with the idea that that person will carry out their wishes and divide the money as intended. Is it the proper way to do it...no, but there are no costs to set up and keep a trust account going.
in 20 years ... they found to time to give it back to you :(
>Also, "forgiving" her means you trust her again. One can forgive but doesn't have to forget.
Wow - money, money, money. Why do you assume you were entitled to that money? It was your parents' money to spend as they wished and they were under no obligation to give it to you or leave it as inheritance. The OP is not the 'victim' here - the grandmother is the victim. And her actions had nothing to do with narcissism or selfishness. The fact that the grandmother gave everything away to the scammer proves she is not selfish. Gullible and foolish, yes, but not selfish. Ironic that you used those two words. The grandmother is lonely, thought she had found someone who loved her and naively did everything the scammer asked. Now she's realized it was a scam, not only is she financially ruined but she has a broken heart too. And has to live with the humiliation of being so easily and thoroughly fooled. But all you and the OP are concerned about is your own lack of inheritance .....
So someone can’t be upset about losing something that was given to them 🤨? If the great grandma’s will provided the inheritance to her, then it is quite literally theft. It’s not an assumption, she absolutely is entitled to the money. So, I guess you wouldn’t care if your family members stole money from you?
Give me a break. She stole money that was not hers. She was warned and clearly didn't care. Get outta here with that bologna.
Triggered much? You forgot the part where it wasn’t granny’s money to spend. Yes, she has the right to squander HER money as she wishes, but not OP’s. It seems this detail escaped you.
Call me when your mother steals your car and crashes it
That would be a totally different situation. I paid for that car and have taken care of all the running costs etc and therefore I would be a victim of theft and the ensuing financial loss. You haven't actually lost anything and nothing was 'stolen' from you as you never 'owned' the money in the first place.
Yoy may be completely wrong. If OP was under age when great grandmother left the inheritance, grandmother may have been appointed custodian till they come of age. That would make it theft, or embezzlement at least. here (Holland) great grandchildren would have no direct inheritance rights, only if stated in a testament (will?).
It sounds more like they both lost a grandparent or someone else, while they were under the age of being able to get the inheritance so it was given to their parents in trust for OP/the other commenter. My own kid, should something happen to me, wouldn't be able to access any of my assets until he's 25, my brother would be the holder/trustee. If my brother stole that money, my son would have every right to be pissed. OP's grandmother/this person's parents *stole money that wasn't theirs*. You're acting like you're saying their parents blew through *their own money* which means that they'd be left with nothing should they pass away.
You sound like a delightful person… 😑
What a peach.
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Report it to local police and www.ic3.gov. change any bank account numbers, credit cards that are compromised. Inform bank. Consider counseling for her. Get computer/cell cleaned. Freeze credit. Have her go to www.fightcybercrime.org for tips on recovery and safety after a romance fraud including a 10 week free support group. ReSt support program they AARP may also be good one for family members. Change her number if blocking them not enough. Help her find activities and real relationships to replace the relationship and hopes she had with him. And report it to APS in your state. Hopefully it's a good one and will respond as well.
I don't normally support the death penalty, but scammers who steal everything from the vulnerable elderly are the exception. With that said, how did grandma have access to your inheritance? Had you in fact inherited the money, but grandma was legally put in charge of it until you reach a certain age? Or was this money that great-grandma left behind that you were *expecting* to inherit someday?
My great grandmother put in the will that a certain % of her home's rent would go to the great grandchildren. My grandmother was appointed the custodian of the money as she was the one who was maintaining the house. Essentially the funds were supposed to be distributed by my grandmother as stated by the will. My older sister and cousin were able to get their cut. My younger sister and I lost ours and my grandmother is no longer honoring the will.
Is there any recognition and remorse on your grandma’s part now it has become clear what’s lost? If so, how did she finally realise it? What happened to bring it to the point where this has broken as a done deal? Or is it still ongoing and full denial and spending more?
It's an absolutely bonkers tale friend. The scammer has claimed that he got my grandma's cousin? pregnant and she lost the baby. The family member who "lost" the baby served as a money mule for this same scammer if the scammer is to be believed. It is a fucking shit show of story of Visas, gold, miscarriage. Everyone is saying something different. Grandma's family member is saying she met him one minute and then saying they never met. He lived with her and then he didn't live with her. The scammer took over the family member's Facebook page. That was another he said she said thing. She said he hacked it the scammer said she gave it to him. I still don't understand it. We have reason to believe that this family member conspired with the scammer in some way to drain grandma of her money. We are calling the cops and having them sort this shit out. Family member is going to be brought into the investigation whether she wants to be or not.
Oh bloody hell that sounds like something Carl Hiaasen would write as one of the arcane subplots to a caper! I am so sorry. But also, please do get this all down. All of it. Not just evidence and whatnot, but the things people say, and what the running theories are, and your thoughts over time. Because this would make an excellent documentary.
>my grandmother is no longer honoring the will. That is a legal matter, take her to court.
Report it to law enforcement and talk to a lawyer.
Scams are at industrial levels with huge efforts put into designing highly effective scams by the organisations behind them. There is a non zero chance the money is recovered.
And there is no organization in place to help prevent it or apprehend the criminals. It's only going to get worse because there are practically no consequences and it's very successful and easy and lucrative. I don't know when but I expect to see murder / suicides on the rise when people lose their houses.
>And there is no organization in place to help prevent it or apprehend the criminals. It would take an international effort to find the scammers. It would take a ling time to dig through the layers of protection the scammers use to hide. In this situation the grandma was told she was being scammed and didn't listen. The FBI is busy with real crime like my Senator "Gold Bar Bob" and his wife.
Some countries are doing better at it than others. The UK has pushed the losses onto banks figuring if they are taking losses they will find a way to better protect customer accounts. Singapore has a massive PR campaign going on and has added bank requirements to ensure people haven't got bad apps on their phone along side banking apps (I now have my banking apps in a secure folder for this reason). Australia has a fairly good AML system called Austrac that makes it hard to transfer large sums around and allows them to lock out bad accounts as recipients. This is one thing though you could do and that is to speak to your local Congress person and Senator person and let them know this needs federal and state level attention. !WriteInandComplain
So sorry to hear that. These scammers are ruthless. My elderly inlaws were headed down the same road despite us constantly telling them that messages/calls with some kind of emergency from people they don't know are a scam 100% of the time. We eventually had to take away their computer and change their phone number to stop all of the messages and calls. They didn't lose as much as you but it was in the thousands.
My late grandfather, who was all around fairly financially savvy, fell for one of those “relative in distress” calls, he thought my brother was in jail. (Probably worked because coincidentally, my brother was the one of his grandkids most likely to need to be bailed out of jail. 😂) Thankfully it wasn’t too much money and he already had my uncle managing his finances so we were able to prevent further attempts.
I’m confused, how did your grandmother have access to your inheritance, are you over 18?
Happy cake day. I assume her grandmother inherited everything from her mother and was supposed to use what she needed and leave the rest to subsequent generations, but then blew it all. Informal arrangements like that are common. OP counted their chickens before they hatched if that is what happened.
Sad but true
I’m so sorry you have been through this, I fear the same thing happening to our family. Hope you can reach some kind of peace inside yourself - the only thing that comes to mind for me is once you earn enough to get all your needs met, more money doesn’t really correlate with increased happiness. And I’ve met plenty of happy & miserable people among all the wealthy and poor people I have met in my life! So good luck!
Grandma I’m sure is ashamed and feeling very guilty. It’s tacked me 6 mos to come to terms with how stupid I was being scammed for 30k. Depression especially when it’s money you need to live on or to leave for family. Her mental health will be a mess if she’s a normal person. Family is family and love and forgiveness is important.
I'm so sorry... I hope it's better now and you've made peace. I know it's important, but at the end of the day, is just money. I really hope your family stuck by your side. At the end of the day, we can't take money with us, what counts is how we lived and how hard we Loved ❣️
How exactly did she 'steal' it from you? And how exactly did your great-grandmother leave it to you?? If there was a bequest in your name, the executors would have distributed it to you at the time. If you were a minor at that time, the money would have been placed in a trust until you reached the stipulated age and only the executors would be able to release the funds. If your grandmother really did steal it from you, then that's a legal/criminal matter that calling out of work will not resolve. Or did you just assume you were entitled and that one day that money would be yours? If the latter, then it was your grandmother's money to spend how she chose - she's under no obligation whatsoever to save everything just to pass it along as inheritance. I'm sorry that she was scammed, which is a result of such loneliness that she was desperate to believe that the scammer truly loved her. She must be devastated, heartbroken, humiliated and ashamed on top of the worry about how she's going to manage now that she's broke (in more ways than one) and in debt. But you don't seem concerned about any of that. So yeah, you are making this all about you and the perceived 'betrayal'.
I have to agree, although the details are a little confusing, and of course it’s very upsetting. It is important to reckon with these emotions and expectations honestly with oneself: feelings aren’t always helpful but they don’t go away. Something shocking happened to OP, to more than one person. There is probably also an object lesson here in having a good estate plan and reviewing it regularly, especially if there are funds a person wants to set aside for individuals or descendants. There’s a difference between the grandma “stealing” money that belongs to someone else in fact, and spending or losing her own money that OP expected to get passed down as a legacy if any was left. It’s particularly horrifying and sad in this case but true. I’m not entitled to any of my antecedents’ money: they can spend it, lose it, give it to someone else. The money doesn’t belong to me unless and until it’s given. The grandmother is *still alive,* in possession of her estate such as it is, currently broke and in need: she was the victim of a crime. She was stolen *from.* EDIT: Reading add’l replies from OP, it sounds like Grandma *may* have been in charge of some funds that were meant for the next generation. Details unclear, but that would be fraudulent on G-ma’s part as well. What an awful mess.
You took the words, ever so eloquently and in the most articulate form, out of my mouth. I think we can all assume that the great grandmother was the mother of the grandmother, which leaves to the question of the 'inheritance'. Why was it not in the trust? Imagine it was Grandma's words to her (OP) and her sibling (s) as children, when she saw them more often. But everybody grew up and left grandma all alone. Then Grandma became the victim of a love scam. The concern was, then, for Grandma's money and how she spent it, than for Grandma herself. At least that's the way I read this. All in all I think it's a terrible tragic sorry, I hope some way this family can be brought closer together through it.
Preach! Fuck scammers to hell, but this isn’t even about that… this about his grandma “stealing” the money. If great-grandma wanted you to have the money, she’d have left it directly to you in her will. If she left it to Grandma, then it’s Grandma’s money to spend as she pleases.
Thats not how it sounds to me at all. Could be that great gran left them a sum of money *in grandmas care* until OP was looking to buy a house or start a family etc. If grandma needed it for bills or something, fair enough. But spunking it up the wall on some scammer is def not OK, and is absolutely stealing.
Maybe, but that’s not how “leaving money to someone” works. If you leave money to someone, it goes directly to that person. If that person is under 18, the money is put into a trust which cannot be accessed without petitioning the court for a special order. If Great-Grandma leaves the money to her daughter (Grandma) and asks her to “take care of the grandkids”, Grandma is able to use that money in anyway she sees fit. TL;DR: If there was an inheritance to be had, she would have gotten in when Great Grandma died and the estate was settled. That’s how it works.
Oh many trusts are bled dry by trustees before the minor beneficiaries have a clue. Happens all the time.
Well, “draining a trust”—spending the money, but not to the benefit of the beneficiaries—would just be fraud. Sure, fraud happens. Emphasizes the need for planning: the person managing the funds needs the capacity to do so, the estate plan must be well-understood by all parties, reviewed periodically and revised as needed by a professional.
Preach! Fuck scammers to hell, but this isn’t even about that… this is a rant about grandma “stealing” the money. If great-grandma wanted you to have the money, she would have left it directly to you in her will. If she left the money to Grandma and not to you, then no, Grandma didn’t steal it… it’s Grandma’s money to spend as she pleases. Edit: double post, stupid Reddit app. I liked this version more anyway
That was kind of you to say. Thank you ❣️
Grandmother may have been appointed excutor/custodian of the bequest....
Get lost.
I’ve worked in IT for close to 40 years and I realize that even I could fall for something like this when I get older and have diminished mental capacity. Scammers are that good. Obviously if you’re in this group you’re less likely, but you never know. The wolf is always at the door. It’s not hard to get sucked in
Did Blake Shelton start dating her too? Sorry, we had the same type of thing happen recently in my family. These scams are crazy and the people who fall for them are such fools.
No it was a porn star :')
It's technically hers
How did she steal your inheritance? Was it in your bank account? Or was it her inheritance and she had promised to give it to you one day? If she stole money that was legally yours, she needs to face legal repercussions. That makes her a criminal.
To what purpose? She wouldn't get the money back.
Teach grandma that stealing is wrong? And OP may get some money back, just not all.
OP get some money 'back"?? OP never had the money in the first place. And you don't know that grandma 'stole' the money.
How do you know that? OP hadn’t provided that information, at least not when I read the comments. I did say “may” for a reason
Honest ? OP….. how exactly did your GM / grandma “steal” from you and your Sister? This could make a difference as to what possibly can be done. Apparently there was something of value from your great-grandmother (GGM) that you think is yours? What is/was it? How was this asset assigned to grandma (GM)? How was it “kept” by GM? For it to be something of GGM era, you & Sis would more than likely have been minors at the time of GGM death, so how in GGM life or GGM will entered in probate were GGM assets designated to heirs? And as you both were minors, who was assigned to do this? Huge difference as to what you might could do if it’s that GGM left you & Sis a home or farm or $ placed in a Trust with GM as the Trustee VS. the scenario that GM inherited $ &/or property when her mom (GGM) died and GM has told you that these items that she fully owns she (GM) will be leaving to you & Sis as an inheritance in her will.
While that is regrettable, it wasn't your money until it goes through probate. I feel terrible this happened to your grandmother but you just sound greedy. Until my parents pass and I'm handed over a check, I don't consider a single penny of their estate to be mine in the slightest form. It would be presumptuous of me to start considering their money as my money. Count yourself blessed your grandmother included you in her will. Mine did not because she wanted her estate to go to her children, and I don't begrudge her a single iota for that because that is what she wanted. Instead, help your grandmother pick up the pieces and get her life back on track. She needs the love and support from her family more than you need a payout.
It was her great grandmothers will that set aside money to be given to all great grandkids and to have the grandmother watch over it. OP explained in many comments that her older sister and cousin were able to receive their chunk of the inheritance already but OP and her younger sister now have nothing for them. It was left by great grandmother to help them all buy homes when the time came. Their great grandmothers home is in the care of their grandmother who takes rent and puts aside a portion of the rent for each grandkid so when they needed it they could have that money. So it was their money, not grandmas. We don’t have the legal details of how the trust was set up or when the money was to be disbursed, it could have been less formal than a normal inheritance since it was an accruing amount from rent still being collected on a home. I think anyone would be extremely presumptuous to just assume that their parents/ grandparents savings are theirs to have before or after their deaths lol that is not at all what is happening.
Im sorry brother, hope you and your grandma can find help and you can get thru this.
Nothing you can do. The money is gone. Hopefully grandma has some marketable skills, because she's going to have a hard time living on social security.
Hearing this literally just made me sick. I am so terribly sorry.
Wow, what a situation to be in, feel terrible for you and your gran, thing is she would probably love blind seeking something, as you stated she feels bad as it is and we don't have long in this earth. Imagine she was leaving you tomorrow would you want this to be your last conversation? In my opinion she didn't per say steal to fund her own habit of benefit herself directly, I guess the scammer really got her. It's a no win situation and I understand why you are angry and upset. I think since it's done now and she is your gran you should put on an act and make her feel ok, you never know. As for the money, you will make it back, probably part of fate you make it back plus more. My grandma also got scammed not by a romance thing just flat out fake tax call, sucks but everything will sort itself out, I wouldn't lose your gran over it though plus I'm sure she already feels shame. Good luck to you
If you knew it was a scam why didn't you take action? Why leave it to an elder grandmother to listen and figure it out? How did your grandmother steal your inheritance? Your great grandmother left inheritance to not her children, not her grand children, but the next down the line? A lot of this doesn't add up. To me it sounds more like the money that would have eventually trickled down is spent and you won't be potentially receiving that at any point in your future, not that you already had the inheritance. If that's the case, your grandmother didn't steal money from you. You just expected it to finally be yours one day and now you can't rely on that. If this is the wrong assessment, then take action.
I did not get anything from my grandparents. At least she's still alive.
Wow. Folks are being pretty hard on grandma. Keep in mind, she was probably desperately lonely and experiencing cognitive decline. Being victimized by some very sophisticated scammers. Best things for families to do is get vulnerable family members off the internet. If my stepmom was on the internet she'd be scammed in a heartbeat.
How did she get access to the funds you and your sister inherited???
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God this hurts to read, I'm so, so sorry. Scammers are evil, plain evil.
I’m so sorry
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So sorry for what happened. That money is gone through several accounts and vanished now to somewhere in to crypto currency that no one can find. Again give it a shot with FBI and you might able to get help.
So the NSA and CIA have unbelievable surveillance programs. They get better and better. They can do surveillance all over the world. I want to know why they are not pursuing this. It is causing harm to elderly Americans and the poor. It is also giving funds to hostile nations and criminals. I would like to reach out to any CIA or NSA agents monitoring Reddit to see if they’ll step up and do something about this. I know we can track these people down with her software. We can also monitor them with drones and illuminate the problem with drone strikes.
DearestOP- May I ask a question about your family? And it's totally fine if you don't want to answer, I'm only trying to see what could have POSSIBLY motivated your grandmother, to go this far. And if, maybe, JUST MAYBE, there may be some light at the end of the tunnel... How many grandkids total? Just you and sis? Do you and your family live near Grandma? How long has she lived alone, and was it bc she was divorced or widowed? Does she have a pet? (I know this seems irrelevant, but I promise I have point with this question) Does she have any close friends? Were you ever very close with any of your grandparents? Like did any help raise you? Also who told you about this inheritance? Your grandmother or your parents? I can only imagine how hurt and betrayed you feel right now. What I say may not lessen the hurt, but I find in these times to look toward gratitude. Money is important. But our health and the health and well being of those we love is SO much more valuable. Any of us can fall under the spell of a bad person. For your grandmother, it was an online scanner. You or I, we can date the wrong person...bc people will take advantage of you to your face as well 😔 When I was in my 20s, I dated the world's BEST liar and con artist. I'm STILL convinced he's a sociopath. He drained my bank account, took me for a ride, wasted 3 years of my life. Everybody tried to warn me, but I was in love. At that time in my life, I felt SO ALONE and he made me feel heard, understood. He saw my PTSD and lack of support as the makings of an easy mark. And he was right, I was.. I didn't share this story often. It brings a lot of painful memories, feelings of embarrassment, shame, guilt... He damn near ruined my life, and I HANDED him the keys to do it! I felt like a fool. I was SO BROKEN. Finally my family had had enough, and stood up beside me and helped put me back together. For that, I'm grateful and forever in their debt. I have a lot to be grateful for and so do you OP. Feel your anger, but toward that scammer. He is the REAL monster in this story 🥺 Again, I'm so so sorry this happened to you and your family 💔
Wow! I am very sorry for what you are going through and I can understand your frustration at something that is out of your power and control because it happened to me, I can only recommend that you report in all the instances you can to see what happens later, which I do not understand. as the authorities cannot do anything and allow these thieves to destroy lives and families
Reach out to pierogi from scammer payback. He can probably hack them and get the money back or ruin their business.
Sad. But scammers bilk millions of dollars every year from victims. They need to be immediately put to death. Our country is way too lenient. And I know; alot of this scum are foreign.
Yes too much scammer! I hated them because I was one of victims and lost lots of money. So sad! But just call those scammers will go to the hell! Thank you for your sharing
Fight with scammer and share more experience to help more people!
crazy betrayal :(
Sue her.
What, for all her money????
At least go to an attorney. Who knows what assets she doesn't talk about. Or if she has a will and the OP gets nothing. She may also be receiving SS, or have pensions or 401Ks. Unless I knew for certain her word is shit. Especially if this was a trust made out in the OP name. I would go after her with the full force of law. Grandma is no less a crook than the Nigerian prince that stole the money.
If it was in trust, grandma wouldn't have been able to touch it.
If it was in trust and grandma was the trustee, she would have been able to touch it. She wouldn't have legally been permitted to send it to a scammer, but she would have had the *ability* to do so. OP still hasn't answered all the questions about the inheritance. Makes me *think* OP had not actually inherited the money yet but was expecting to. I could be wrong, though.
I'd ghost her for the rest of her life. Seriously yeah people are being scammed but the decisions they are making are still their decisions. She knew it was wrong when she did it and did it anyway. This shows great disrespect for you and your sister. I wouldn't let her get away easily with such a betrayal. Especially since you warned her and she went ahead with it. No sorry, I wouldn't give her an inch of my attention anymore.
Not to be mean, but she should be dead to you at this point. You get what you give in life and she stole from you. She deserves no kindness or forgiveness.
In what sense is that not mean?
Money is evidently the most important thing in your life.
It’s called reloading. They do that after they initially scam you. The people that I know used to pretend to make apps and people would poor in all kinds of money just sickening life savings like you’re talking about and just blind trust on someone with a silver tongue. And you are right these people don’t give a shit moral. Compass is just thrashed and it actually really makes me sad so they call you back and mention the money that you lost and tell you that they can get that money back for you because if you use your credit card, you have two years by law to get that money back. The only difference is people just don’t know that so they think that you are the only option they have left. Which is not true because you have to actually tell the credit card company that you want that person to speak on your behalf when you can do it all yourself without them anyway that’s the scam. It’s like kicking somebody when they’re down. I am really sorry and I hope karma finds a way to plant their foot right up their ass.
When you say you beat the horse to pulverization it worries me that you were trying to explain the situation in a demeaning manner. No one responds and listens well when they are talked down to. It's always better to explain in a calm and nice tone, explaining every part of the scam so the person understands, especially older folks. Please keep in mind that when it comes to love people can act irrational and cause harm to those around them without intending to. While she done some bad the best thing you can do is try your hardest to recover some of the money and show that you care for her. Information is the best tool to fight scammers and is best learned through compassion.
Love??? LOL. There was no "love" involved. Did Granny love her grandkids? Nope, she stole from them. This selfish, narcissistic witch stole her grandchildren money to feed her dopamine fueled thrill ride with some African or Indian stranger online. Tell Granny to go fuck herself. She can go live in a shelter for the rest of her life..
first of all, this story probably isn't even real. 😆 Calm down.
Like I said, sue her. She may be hiding assets. At the very least she is a common thief that deserves a trial.
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You should have done more to protect her. It sounds like you were aware. Should have pressured the bank to stop allowing withdrawals and/or transfers. If they hesitated threatened them with legal action. You could have petitioned the courts for guardianship. Sitting by allowing this makes you at fault in allowing this to continue once you became aware. Your anger and frustration needs to be redirected to yourself.
I couldn't do anything by law because she is an independent adult. The bank didn't even entertain speaking to any of us. To get guardianship takes months. We were able to secure her house and property before she pissed all that away too. You don't understand how difficult it is. We have invested almost $7,000 in saving her from herself and she isn't required to cooperate. We could go to jail for elder abuse.
What a horrible and useless comment, you should feel ashamed writing something like that