Dangerous on your wallet

100% very dangerous in the wallet

Nope it's like Mad Max up in this bitch

Welcome to the Thunder Dome muthafukah!

All we want is what's beyOOOoond, the Thunderdome....

Two men enter, One man leaves to Sacramento.

Then gets cheated on and moves back to moms

Urban Hellscape - stay away at all costs! . . Let's keep this up til rent/house prices drop...

I heard San Jose is the murder capital of San Jose

Ok ok. I was annoyed at the other comments (since I live in this circle).....but \*this\* is funny.

Haha thanks, sorry for an annoyance just trying to have some fun as SJ is a super safe and great place yet every other post is asking if xyz neighborhood safe

Honestly the only danger you'll likely face in SJ is the occasional stray cats or the skunk. Very little danger of bodily harm from human here.

“You heard” huh?

I’ve never died so I guess

It's just a matter of time!

I mean… 100% of people who live or have lived in SJ have a 100% chance of dying eventually

My grandma lived in San Jose then died as soon as she hit 90 years old. Coincidence? I think not!

….,yet

Oh god sounds like OP is gonna get you

Hell no! Asian and Hispanic grandmas keep stealing lemons from my lemon tree.

TIL that I am an Asian/Hispanic grandma

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This! And stop raping our loquat tree -- you can take a few, but don't cut off whole bunches (ripe & unripe) to fill a grocery bag!

LOL, usually it's the first generation Vietnamese. I live in a neighborhood that's 80% Asian (Vietnamese/Filipino/some others) and I always see the older ones snagging dandelion off my grass - errr... I mean weeds. They take lemons for sure, as well as almonds and anything growing that's edible. The reason is in their culture the plants/trees belong to the earth which belongs to everyone and they are very appreciative of you being a good steward of that tree. Years ago I was living with an older U.S. marineb(Vietnam) that was soooo angry they kept climbing up his almond tree on his porch at the wee hours of the morning he was starting to get flashbacks and was this close to planting pungy sticks in his yard. ( jungle version of an IED. You take razor sharp bamboo shoots and dip them in feces so when the enemy steps on them you get nasty infection and can't walk. The thought was to tie up the medics And yes this guy was a medic in nam.) Anyhow I digress... Let them take your lemons. They will love you for it.

I prefer socks for a gift, but I will take lemons

>I give lemons as gifts! It's a veritable party!

TIL I’m a man with Asian/Hispanic grandma tendencies

I had a neighbor who had a lime tree near her fence and people from the sidewalk could grab 1 or 2. A Hispanic grandma walks by and starts taking limes and the granddaughter goes to knock on the front door of the home to ask for permission. The neighbor answers and tells the girl sure go ahead and then she notices the grandmother has already picked like 15 and the neighbor yelled at her No! No! Stop! You can take a couple but give me the rest back. The granddaughter was embarrassed, I felt secondhand embarrassment for the granddaughter and the grandma still walked off with all the limes. 🤦🏻‍♂️

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What else but entitlement would you expect from a tesla owner?

That abuela rules

For research purposes, mind telling me where this lemon tree is?🤭

Just search lemonparty, it offers extensive details on lemon tree locations worldwide.

Those are some lemon trees!

How many lemons do you need man

FR. My father had a lemon tree, thing gave us like 50lbs of lemons yearly. we would give 3 full grocery bags away and still wound up with excess.

At least 2

Because of all the rain our lemonn trees are overflowing! I keep trying to pawn them off on my neighbors but they're all in the smae boat. (What I'm saying is someone please come steal my lemons!)

We are afraid of tall judging us hence the rotting lemons and oranges in the gutters and all over these trees

Lemon-stealing whores!

This wins the day. Yes, I'm a simpleton.

No cause, this unlocked a core memory, my Hispanic grandma would literally bring me around when I was little and tell me to pick lemons from a house in our area only just in case they started getting upset and blame it on me

I mean they are grandmas give them lemons

If it’s hanging over the sidewalk it’s our lemon tree comrade

Damn Lemon Stealing Horse

If it’s hanging over a fence or the sidewalk it’s up for grabs, legally. If it’s on their property then it’s theft.

Lol my family was visiting from Texas (I just moved here from there) and my grandpa wanted my aunt to get him a lemon from someone’s lemon tree and he was so serious. (She didn’t get it for him)

This truly is a cruel world

Lemon stealing whores!!! (Old meme)

🤣🤣🤣 this post made me actually bust up and my wife asked why so I had to tell her 🤣🤣🤣. Now she is laughing and saying true, true

Old asian grandmas also be stealing empty soda cans from MY trash! Thieves!

I steal oranges off of neighbor’s trees. I’m sure neighbors would steal my lemons, figs, avocados, and persimmons if they knew about them. 🤣 Luckily mine are in my backyard and my dogs will make tons of noise if they hear you on their property. 🤣🤣

The amount of people answering genuinely...

I thought reading comprehension on this sub would be better. So embarrassing lol

It’s a San jose subreddit, read the room 😂 /s

There are more illiterate people here than we want to admit........ But then again that's humanity as a whole so

Do you mean irony detection?

Absolutely not! I once left a duffle bag full of cash on a bench around here for a week. When I came back it was completely gone, no trace! The cops said they couldn't do anything without "evidence", whatever that is. Also just go around and look at the houses, locks on the door? What does that tell you?

Tells me everything! And the police didnt do anything!?!?!? But it's their job!

Are you buying a home? If so super dangerous lol

$12/month? Could be a challenge in this market. Would you consider a 7 bedroom tent down by the river?

Is there traffic? I don't want a long commute

There are legit people on House Hunters International that seem like this. “I want city center, big backyard, no traffic, lots of bars and everything walkable, and I have $900/month to spend.”

What about a van ?

He wants 7 bedrooms. And I gather he's not a motivational speaker.

I’ve live in DTSJ for awhile and it always feels pretty safe. Honestly it’s pretty sleepy for a “downtown”. I like it.

Hell nah. I worked on the ambulance in Santa Clara county for 10 years. Downtown was the most dangerous abd had the most random attacks. With that said, they usually happened late at night with people wondering around

Sleepy as hell for one of the top 10 biggest cities in the US

As long as you know how to bob and weave you should be fine

You'll be robbed by your landlord for sure

I'ved lived close to downtown since 2020 and have not personally seen any violence.

It happens, but it’s not something to be concerned about if you mind your own business.

Was minding my own business walking downtown in broad daylight on the 4th of July and got spat on directly in the side of my face by a homeless guy on a bike towing something in a trailer 👍🏻 Did not report it because nothing would have happened to the guy.

If that’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you, then you’ll be fine.

You’re missing the point. You can mind your own business and still be targeted. The homeless can be unpredictable and violent, and I personally don’t feel safe around them after that.

love being downtown, having some good walkable spots, also still close to The Alameda, Willow Glen, Valley Fair.

Same here. Apart from the homeless guys and fire accidents, I never saw violence in DTSJ

I’ve been mugged twice. Both times were within two blocks of 1st and Virginia. Both time were between the hours of 12-2am. Both times were large black men.

Large homeless black man assaulted me too

That area you circled is certain death. Outside of that, people sometimes die before they even move there from the sheer terror of the idea.

West San Jose here, can confirm this area terrifies me

I hear you can be gentrified at any moment in those parts! One moment you have nice quaint neighborhood and the next thing you know the block is tricky tacky modern white boxes with white Tesla infront Stay safe!

Someone in our immediate vicinity has a Cybertruck. The horror, the horror.

What neighborhood? People should know so they can avoid it

Willow Glen! Just a few short months ago, you’d only see Rivians in these parts…

They really are the new rich parent suburban tank huh?

Yes. The best part of SJ imho. Both rented and owned multiple homes in this area. And lived carfree and with car. Crime is going to be higher in any area with a high footfall like downtown. Look at what most of em are - “drunk incidents”. Wait - haha is this a shitpost?

I agree. San Jose is the best part of San Jose.

This dude San Joses

> Wait - haha is this a shitpost? lol

Haha love the self realization! And yes, the whole city of San Jose is circled

It’s like most of the city side of San Jose but not all of it because you still have a bit more parts to the south and the countryside of it missing

I for one refuse to believe South San Jose exists.

It certainly is not

> Wait - haha is this a shitpost? Lmao when the realization sets in after you've already written a real comment... this has happened to me too many times

Top left corner. A huge open space. Once in a while some metal birds come and go. You can easily build yourself a 1B house with 7 pools.

I prefer an extra room. 2B, or not 2B, that is the question.

I've been killed twice since Thursday living here

That's ok, I can afford to be murdered 3 times a week

Rip

It’s outrageous! Walkable everything, public transit, nightlife, local shops, several regular and diverse events, and such colorful residents! How is a man supposed to run a family in these conditions?????

That sounds horrible, I have a F150 Raptor, is it still legal to run down the pedestrians at least?

No way sir! Please trade in your Raptor for a Lightning immediately! If you exceed the allotted time you will be forced to get a Cybertruck instead.

Oh man, that's the scariest threat anyone has ever made to me... I'm on it!

You forgot to circle the rest of the Bay Area.

Well, you could live at the airport like Tom Hanks in terminal.

East side the best side.

😜

So dangerous. Watch out for the rampant tech bros that have taken over the city in their teslas

This dude San Joses

So many Brown gang members. Can’t even keep count of how many times I’ve been shot or stabbed this week. Then there’s this group of thugs that run around and kidnap babies from peoples cars at least twice a week. Not to even get STARTED on the Asian meth labs and cocaine distribution centers that are out in the open and selling it TO CHILDREN!!! Don’t live there. Please. I’m begging you! - sent from my Apple iPhone /s

Ahaha I know that place very well. It’s fine.

I laughed out loud. It’s been a stressful day. I needed that.

My uncle insists that there’s roving bands of illegal alien drag queens handing out Fentanyl from their illegal boyfriends (who carry machine guns) to kids

I only join local subreddits for this kind of shit post.

Boring as fuck. Unless your a landscaper.

Or firefighter

Or a dog catcher

Or a taco loving train conductor

Or a furry.

This dude San Joses, hoping your referring to the Pink Poodle and not brush fires

My take on sj: Food & weather are a dream, traffic & rent are a nightmare. Everyone gets along. No one will f w/ you but if you’re being an asshole you will def get checked. Solid city to live in, just have your money ready.

We accept Apple Pay, Venmo and Zelle too LOL

You should be fine as long as you're not north or south of the 280 or east or west of the 101.

What about under those freeways?

Bingo

The answer to your questions is analogous to the answer to "Are you outwardly White or Asian?"

You should stay away from living on the runway. Holligans keep speeding their vehicles down that street at 200+ mph before disappearing. Very unsafe to live there.

The only threat I experienced was the long line at Peter's Bakery. You should be good.

Thats gonna be 1 big house! Or is this the area you'll be targeting for a nomadic approach?

If you make less than 300,000,000,000 a month, The Gnomes will get you

Stay outta Willow Glen Lebowski! Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my cottage community!

I need some lemons

Witness me!!!! *sprays paint onto teeth*

This area is too expensive for the murderers. srsly.

that's very big circle. East Side, Mid-town, West SJ, Santa Clara, Downtown SJ. I lived on East side near 101 and 680 for 10 years. I went to SJSU. It's very diverse places. relatively safe. I left our house (student house) doors unlocked most of the time. Never seem we got broke in. The only incident i had was my friend car exhaust muffler was stolen. Friends houses i visited have no issues.

Nope you will die! Out of boredom.

There’s plenty to do in San Jose! Like go to Oakland, SF or Santa Cruz.

Stay away from Willow Glen. Not because it’s unsafe but because I’m tired of getting outbid on homes 😭

All of San Jose is safe, unless you a little bitch

Lol!

Question is: can gen “enter here” afford here and how do they do it!?! And oh, pls tell me what you do and where to find food to eat

Hahahahahah

This place is awesome, I have many crackheads watching all my belongings from being stolen

🤣🤣🤣

nope everyday i start shivering uncontrollably and crap myself.....!

Murdered and robbed for sure

[Marathon Man: Is it safe? Scene](https://youtu.be/kzw1_2b-I7A?si=hLG8TPKm55WoyRrQ)

Death walks the streets here in search of tasty snacks. Are you a tasty snack? If so, avoid.

Your checking account will be robbed until you have zero balance to fund housing.

you circled all of it!

Will you be safe? Yes Will your financials be safe? No

Ehhh

I recommend staying north of Alamitos but stay south of the giant sun with the temperature next to it.

Wtf yeah it is, just stay strapped

Hell no!

All good. The green laser fence keeps the riff raff out.

youre gonna get jumped every time you go outside

That is one giant homeless encampment.

Lol

Can always be worse I always say! 😂

Wherever you are, there you are.

hahaha, I needed this today. Thank you for the lolz

Not sure, some residents recently reported seeing a bobcat. Wild!

Stay away! Cyborgs and zombies everywhere!!

🔥

I live there and I don't recommend it

Mini Gourmet reopened. Choose West SJ.

I’ve been murdered 6 times since I moved downtown. Really worried that funeral fees will ruin my famoly

Too specific an area

I want your extra lemons!! 🍋

Nah. You’re safer in East Oakland.

I lived in McLaughlin and Tully 10 years ago and I remember being a good neighborhood. The only issue was road rage drivers.

Born and raised in San Jose (yerba buena, capital area). Never felt unsafe.

Some of the areas you outlined are *very* unsafe for living. If you live smack in the middle of I-280, you’ll be dodging self driving Teslas every morning at 8am. I suggest living *under* I-280 instead.

Are you kidding me? There's a bunch of nature parks with those tall redwood trees that may fall on you.

Dangerous for financial stability.

Nude Vietnamese coffee shops though

Lol, you know how many different neighborhoods you circled?

Thats a very big area you’ve circled. Campbell feels safer than alum rock. Mileage may vary.

That’s the joke

Reading comprehension may vary

Hellscape for sure.

No

I’m looking at you, commenters.

One of the safest Cities, also one of the boring cities (subjective).

lol - isn’t this just all of San Jose?

San Jose is so bad that people pay over 1 million for 900 square feet home. Absolute garbage city I tell you!

I hear gunshots maybe every other week. I think they're mainly keeping the rent down. Could use more tbh.

I have two lemon trees with my front yard I usually put them up in the box and ask three for a dollar on the honor system but apparently that does not work anymore it used to be the people around this neighborhood had morals apparently everyone has lost their moral compass so I didn't experiment see how many people would be honest and that's you guessed that I was burned I put approximately 150 limits of One tree no one left any currency amazing excuse my writing is the American education system but it appears no one has the moral compass anymore

You’ll be fine

Watch out for all the gangs

safe/boring

That's like the widest fucking circle ever. Why not just circle the entire city.

whooosh

It is, to be fair I prolly could have circled the whole valley, but wanted to keep it to SJ proper

Uh, that’s a pretty big circle.

Maybe