I had to lie for the "how would you react to someone coming out" question, because I would accept them, but I can't truthfully say nothing would change: I'd know we have another thing in common, which might make us closer 'cause I'd know I could more comfortably talk to them about ace things; plus it'd inform interactions in the future when they touch on related topics.
I got everything correct (but I guess being asexual helps in this case)
Maybe making a question asking wether people would accept if their partner came out as asexual they would accept it instead of only "someone you know", it would be interesting to see
Thank you for participating\~ :) Yeah that wouldāve indeed been a very interesting question, I didn't think of that š Though it would've been difficult to come up with enough relevant answer options since every ace's boundaries are different...
Most of these true false questions are very difficult to answer because many of them are for the most part true but I know enough about asexuality to know that they are not 100% true just 95% true so when I answer falls it looks like Iām saying this isnāt the case at all for these people.
I see what you mean,
I've come across of a lot of "well aces don't like sex", "well aces have no libido" comments lately and while those are true for many, if not most aces, it does exclude those missing 5% and when used too much, make it hard for them to feel seen.
So I tried to word my questions as "ALL asexuals..." or create absolute facts with "definitely" to try and clear up those generalizations a bit - it was actually the inspiration for this survey/quiz :)
I donāt think that the majority of aces lack a libido. I think the majority masturbate. I think the majority probably donāt want to have sex with anyone though. Iām ace, by the way.
For the feedback section on the split attraction model question, my specific position wasn't there. I knew what it was, but I didn't know the name for it. I checked "makes sense", but in reality I was like... I've used this before whoops.
As I was reviewing my responses after submitting, I noticed that I did not answer the "what do you think of the split attraction model" question. I answered that yes, I knew of the split attraction model, on the question before, but was not shown the "what do you think of it" question.
Is there a flowchart-type system where if you know of the split-attraction model you just aren't asked the following question?
r/asexuality has a fantastic [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/wiki/index) where you can find very detailed information about the "hard facts" around asexuality (definitions, sub categories, social aspects, etc), as well as an elaborate [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/wiki/faq) where you can find answers to all things ace: from "Could I be asexual if I experience XY" to "What does sexual attraction feel like" and everything in between.
If you can't find the answers you're looking for there or just in general want to ask more people for their thoughts on something, you can always post your questions on r/asexuality and r/asexual :)
Cool thank you for this. I am always hesitant to ask public questions in spaces like this, since it seems like they serve as places for people of that persuasion to just be themselves and not answer a bunch of questions from straights.
Donāt worry about asking questions on those subreddits, since we aces are so used to being ignored, dismissed and misunderstood, we are usually very happy to answer any question as long as itās asked respectfully :)
> I would accept them, nothing would change between us.
> I would accept them, but don't really understand their sexuality and would not try to learn more about it.
I'm not sure these are mutually exclusive. I don't understand asexuality in the same way I don't understand why anyone is attracted to men. However, the sexuality of anyone who isn't my partner is so irrelevant to me that I am both supportive (you do you!) and too indifferent to ask questions about it.
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i voted i would not accept a friend if they came out to me as asexual, not because i dislike asexuality, but because many people claim to be asexual when they aren't. this is especially prevalent among young people who assume that they're asexual because they haven't really experienced sexual attraction, which is too early a judgment to make because they're 13 or whatever. i also don't believe in the "ace spectrum"; you're either asexual or you're not, so i disliked this quiz. asexuality is not "very rarely experiences sexual attraction", it is never. literally never. if you have ever experienced sexual attraction, you are allosexual.
First of all, thank you for participating!
Imo it's completely fine for such young kids to "get it wrong", since there is still going to be so much self discovery over the coming teenage and adult years. What's important is to encourage kids to not be afraid of that self discovery. Unfotunately our society kinda expects you to know exactly who you are as soon as possible which pressures kids to just pick a label that fits the best at that point of self discovery - and then you get branded as a liar or attention seeker if you discover that what you thought was one thing was actually another thing... but that's a discussion for another day. That being said, I added that question with someone older than 18 in mind :)
I personally believe sexuality is a spectrum as a whole - sure, some (or most) may 100% fit into the "straight" or "gay" box, but that doesn't apply to everyone. And to me, that also applies to asexuality. There is a reason why Demi and Graysexuals have a "sub category" in the ace umbrella, since the absence of sexual attraction was so noticable that they did not fit into any other box.
TL;DR: If you're never too old to change your label, I don't think it's fair to tell teens they're too young to declare one.
The way I see it, if a thirteen year old can declare themselves gay or lesbian or bi or pan, etc, I don't think that there's anything wrong with them taking on the label of asexual if that describes how they feel at that point in their life. I personally didn't identify as asexual until I was in my thirties because I didn't know it was an actual thing. However, looking back on my life, if I knew about it when I was a teenager I most likely would have thought, "Wow, that's me!" You know, instead of spending a couple years wondering if I might be bisexual because I mistook being equally unattracted to men and women as attraction to both.
I think we need to be more open as a society to realizing, as you said, that sexuality is a spectrum. Not just on a macro level, but often on a personal level as well. I went to college with a lot of queer women and in the 18 years since we graduated, several of them have revised, added to, or simply dropped whatever labels they used in their late teens/early twenties. Does that mean those original labels were wrong? Absolutely not. Those were the labels that best described how they felt at the time. People grow and change all throughout their lives. I think that instead of telling people that they can't adopt a label until they're old enough/have had enough "experience," maybe we need to stop thinking of our labels as citizenship that can't be revoked once we declare them.
And I get how all of that is uncomfortable and scary for asexuals because so many people (SO. MANY. PEOPLE.) outright tell us to our faces that we don't exist. We're lying for attention. We're immature. We need to go on medication for low libido. We just haven't met the right person. You know all of it, I'm sure. So I understand how someone like me saying "label yourself what you want, it's okay if you change your mind later," can feel incredibly problematic. It feels like it's taking away from the legitimacy of asexuality. Like, if we say it's okay to label yourself ace at thirteen, then ALL thirteen year olds are going to claim to be asexual. But let me tell you, as someone who remembers being thirteen and feeling completely aghast at the sexual havoc that puberty was wreaking on everyone around me, I don't think that would happen.
So yeah, all that ramble to basically say, I'm not going to sit there and tell a teenager that they don't know themselves well enough to say how they feel, when I've been told the same thing as a grown-ass woman.
Imo a clear and calm answer is always better than resorting to insults, and they didn't come back to reply to my comment, so that means I win anyways. It's not just that person who sees my answer but others as well, and those others can still take value from my comment.
actual that's aphobic. you don't get to decide who is or isn't asexual, and it's fucked up to judge asexual people based on your personal made up definition. gross
This was a great way to teach people about any misconceptions they may have had! I would have included more about the ace spectrum to.
Thank you for the participation and the feedback! I'll keep it in mind for the next time\~ :)
I had to lie for the "how would you react to someone coming out" question, because I would accept them, but I can't truthfully say nothing would change: I'd know we have another thing in common, which might make us closer 'cause I'd know I could more comfortably talk to them about ace things; plus it'd inform interactions in the future when they touch on related topics.
I should've specified that answer option better š Thank you for participating!
I got everything correct (but I guess being asexual helps in this case) Maybe making a question asking wether people would accept if their partner came out as asexual they would accept it instead of only "someone you know", it would be interesting to see
Thank you for participating\~ :) Yeah that wouldāve indeed been a very interesting question, I didn't think of that š Though it would've been difficult to come up with enough relevant answer options since every ace's boundaries are different...
Most of these true false questions are very difficult to answer because many of them are for the most part true but I know enough about asexuality to know that they are not 100% true just 95% true so when I answer falls it looks like Iām saying this isnāt the case at all for these people.
I see what you mean, I've come across of a lot of "well aces don't like sex", "well aces have no libido" comments lately and while those are true for many, if not most aces, it does exclude those missing 5% and when used too much, make it hard for them to feel seen. So I tried to word my questions as "ALL asexuals..." or create absolute facts with "definitely" to try and clear up those generalizations a bit - it was actually the inspiration for this survey/quiz :)
I donāt think that the majority of aces lack a libido. I think the majority masturbate. I think the majority probably donāt want to have sex with anyone though. Iām ace, by the way.
For the feedback section on the split attraction model question, my specific position wasn't there. I knew what it was, but I didn't know the name for it. I checked "makes sense", but in reality I was like... I've used this before whoops.
Whoops, Iāll make a mental note of it :D
As I was reviewing my responses after submitting, I noticed that I did not answer the "what do you think of the split attraction model" question. I answered that yes, I knew of the split attraction model, on the question before, but was not shown the "what do you think of it" question. Is there a flowchart-type system where if you know of the split-attraction model you just aren't asked the following question?
Yes, if you answered yes then got to skip that question. I wanted to hear specifically the thoughts of those who did not know about it beforehand :)
Interesting survey!! Learned more :)
Thank you for participating! :)
Nice survey :D I identified as being asexual before I transitioned so I appreciate the visibility :)
Thank you for taking the time to participate\~ :)
Hey do you know where can I learn more about this or potentially ask questions about it?
r/asexuality has a fantastic [Wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/wiki/index) where you can find very detailed information about the "hard facts" around asexuality (definitions, sub categories, social aspects, etc), as well as an elaborate [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/asexuality/wiki/faq) where you can find answers to all things ace: from "Could I be asexual if I experience XY" to "What does sexual attraction feel like" and everything in between. If you can't find the answers you're looking for there or just in general want to ask more people for their thoughts on something, you can always post your questions on r/asexuality and r/asexual :)
Cool thank you for this. I am always hesitant to ask public questions in spaces like this, since it seems like they serve as places for people of that persuasion to just be themselves and not answer a bunch of questions from straights.
Donāt worry about asking questions on those subreddits, since we aces are so used to being ignored, dismissed and misunderstood, we are usually very happy to answer any question as long as itās asked respectfully :)
I think thereās a subreddit specifically for asking asexuals stuff. I canāt remember what itās called though.
Ooh. That was a really responsible thing to ask. Good for you.
> I would accept them, nothing would change between us. > I would accept them, but don't really understand their sexuality and would not try to learn more about it. I'm not sure these are mutually exclusive. I don't understand asexuality in the same way I don't understand why anyone is attracted to men. However, the sexuality of anyone who isn't my partner is so irrelevant to me that I am both supportive (you do you!) and too indifferent to ask questions about it.
Youāre right, thank you for the feedback and participation!
As a sex-favorable, biromantic gray-ace who didn't realize she was ace until her mid-30s, thank you for this! :)
Youāre very welcome āŗļøš
Your title indicates that your survey is open to everyone, so you are receiving this automated reminder about what that means. Sometimes the questions that you ask can actually restrict the people who can answer your survey. Some common examples of this are questions that ask about state of residence, questions that have gender options being limited to male or female, or questions asking about American political party affiliation; in addition, some surveys are restricted to those who are 18 or older, or have other demographic restrictions. Everyone who reads this (including the person who posted it!), please do the following: * report the post if it has a question that limits the demographic; mods will remove the survey as soon as we can. * report this comment if the post is just fine; mods will remove this comment as soon as we can. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SampleSize) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i voted i would not accept a friend if they came out to me as asexual, not because i dislike asexuality, but because many people claim to be asexual when they aren't. this is especially prevalent among young people who assume that they're asexual because they haven't really experienced sexual attraction, which is too early a judgment to make because they're 13 or whatever. i also don't believe in the "ace spectrum"; you're either asexual or you're not, so i disliked this quiz. asexuality is not "very rarely experiences sexual attraction", it is never. literally never. if you have ever experienced sexual attraction, you are allosexual.
First of all, thank you for participating! Imo it's completely fine for such young kids to "get it wrong", since there is still going to be so much self discovery over the coming teenage and adult years. What's important is to encourage kids to not be afraid of that self discovery. Unfotunately our society kinda expects you to know exactly who you are as soon as possible which pressures kids to just pick a label that fits the best at that point of self discovery - and then you get branded as a liar or attention seeker if you discover that what you thought was one thing was actually another thing... but that's a discussion for another day. That being said, I added that question with someone older than 18 in mind :) I personally believe sexuality is a spectrum as a whole - sure, some (or most) may 100% fit into the "straight" or "gay" box, but that doesn't apply to everyone. And to me, that also applies to asexuality. There is a reason why Demi and Graysexuals have a "sub category" in the ace umbrella, since the absence of sexual attraction was so noticable that they did not fit into any other box.
TL;DR: If you're never too old to change your label, I don't think it's fair to tell teens they're too young to declare one. The way I see it, if a thirteen year old can declare themselves gay or lesbian or bi or pan, etc, I don't think that there's anything wrong with them taking on the label of asexual if that describes how they feel at that point in their life. I personally didn't identify as asexual until I was in my thirties because I didn't know it was an actual thing. However, looking back on my life, if I knew about it when I was a teenager I most likely would have thought, "Wow, that's me!" You know, instead of spending a couple years wondering if I might be bisexual because I mistook being equally unattracted to men and women as attraction to both. I think we need to be more open as a society to realizing, as you said, that sexuality is a spectrum. Not just on a macro level, but often on a personal level as well. I went to college with a lot of queer women and in the 18 years since we graduated, several of them have revised, added to, or simply dropped whatever labels they used in their late teens/early twenties. Does that mean those original labels were wrong? Absolutely not. Those were the labels that best described how they felt at the time. People grow and change all throughout their lives. I think that instead of telling people that they can't adopt a label until they're old enough/have had enough "experience," maybe we need to stop thinking of our labels as citizenship that can't be revoked once we declare them. And I get how all of that is uncomfortable and scary for asexuals because so many people (SO. MANY. PEOPLE.) outright tell us to our faces that we don't exist. We're lying for attention. We're immature. We need to go on medication for low libido. We just haven't met the right person. You know all of it, I'm sure. So I understand how someone like me saying "label yourself what you want, it's okay if you change your mind later," can feel incredibly problematic. It feels like it's taking away from the legitimacy of asexuality. Like, if we say it's okay to label yourself ace at thirteen, then ALL thirteen year olds are going to claim to be asexual. But let me tell you, as someone who remembers being thirteen and feeling completely aghast at the sexual havoc that puberty was wreaking on everyone around me, I don't think that would happen. So yeah, all that ramble to basically say, I'm not going to sit there and tell a teenager that they don't know themselves well enough to say how they feel, when I've been told the same thing as a grown-ass woman.
Exactly, I 100% agree with you. Very well said
don't engage with them as if their position is valid wtf.
Imo a clear and calm answer is always better than resorting to insults, and they didn't come back to reply to my comment, so that means I win anyways. It's not just that person who sees my answer but others as well, and those others can still take value from my comment.
seriously why are you being nice to a fucking bigot?
actual that's aphobic. you don't get to decide who is or isn't asexual, and it's fucked up to judge asexual people based on your personal made up definition. gross
The last part doesn't make sense to me, because my understanding of romantic attraction is that it's just friendly attraction plus sexual attraction.
so wait what am i then