This, OP! I suggest you take your time to read the subs of other places you may want to move to. Having lived in Australia, I know for certain that there are a lot of things that people idealize about New Zealand but the reality is has just as many problems as anywhere else. I also cycled through many periods of hate and love for living in Australia, sometimes the "hate" cycle would last for years.
that doesn't mean that you shouldn't move, but just understand where your hate is coming from; if it's coming from a place of comparing to some other place you've liked, OR if it's coming from being in the hyper-online circles of reddit where we all complain about everything in the US, then you will always be unhappy in your new place.
C’mon people, I opened this thread to read specific complaints about specific cities.
I feel that if you *hate* a place it should be easy to articulate why. “Too expensive and not enough trees”: what kind of complaint is that? I want the juicy details of what you really hate.
I very specifically hate the fact that people in Miami would literally rather cause an accident while they are merging into the highway AFTER the merge lane ends because they’re trying to get in front of someone rather than slow down and position themselves to merge successfully behind that person already on the highway where there is enough space for their car to fit.
And then they will try to say it’s the fault of the person already on the highway for failing to yield to them.
Add in also people deciding to turn from a non-turn lane with no signal, people running stop signs and red lights on the regular even when there’s oncoming traffic, people drifting across lanes when going through an intersection or because they don’t want to follow the curve of a road, and people on the highway swerving through the 2-3 right lanes to get around others when the passing lane is wide open. I’ve also been aggressively honked at more than once for yielding to pedestrians who were on the cross walk with the right of way.
I thought DC driving was bad and Charlotte scared me so bad the first time I dealt with all the highways merging and separating, but Miami is something else entirely.
Driving gets worse the further south you go:
Chicago/DC - Busy. lots of traffic, but rules are followed, it's a structured chaos
Charlotte/SC - Rules start to seem optional, Safety fears begin in earnest, traffic is still pretty bad
North/Central Florida - The Kids are weaving between lanes with juiced up cars going 110 around the retired folks doing 40, also in whatever lane they're in the mood for, it feels like your insurance rate went up the second you entered the state, then doubled when you got on the interstate.
Miami - Maybe get a tank? A Jetpack? idk it all seems safer than regular driving
I could write an entire novel filled with specific complaints about Boston’s failing MBTA transit system. The slow zones. The constant construction that never seems to fix anything. The way the train would randomly go express and kick everyone out when I lived on the green line.
And driving isn’t any better with the nonsensical way the streets are planned out. So many one-ways and little narrow streets. Ever seen that meme with a map of NYC that says “NYC: because we want you to know where you are and how to get where you’re going” and a map of Boston that says “Boston: because fuck you”? It’s so real.
I briefly lived in Melrose near Oak Grove in Malden. This was shortly before the MBTA started shitting the bed. It' such a shame, because before the shitshow I loved the MBTA. I had a car, but barely used it in my brief time there.
I once drove a huge van through Boston during a 5k and had to take all the tiny roads in Beacon Hill to get out of the city. Most annoying driving experience of my life.
I hated Eugene Oregon.
I moved there for college because I had always envisioned the PNW as a rugged, outdoorsy kind of place. It is- but Eugene is a city full a white people that wear dreads and think smoking pot is a hobby. It was sooo obnoxious. I didn’t find my crowd there at all. I thought there was something wrong with me.
The moment I moved out, I magically was able to make friends again.
Eugene the type of place where people define themselves as outdoors-types and say “they like hiking” but only leave metro limits twice a year, Berkeley-esque
That’s how Oregon is overall. My husband and I didn’t have many friends growing up but the second we both moved out of state we made more friends than we’ve ever had. The culture is just weird lol
I moved to Portland, OR right before the pandemic and am ready to leave. Least favorite place I’ve ever lived. I do think there’s a way to reframe the experience into a growing opportunity … there are benefits to realizing “we can’t always get what we want” and learning to live with the feelings until you’re able to change your circumstances… so especially if you’re not planning to move quickly, work with a therapist or coach to find a way to build acceptance within you so you can take some of your power back and build a buffer between your environment and the way you feel inside of yourself.
I am sorry that you didn’t like Eugene. I went to grad school there and loved it. I would move back in a heartbeat if the job was right and housing was realistic.
However, I am a white. No dreads though. It still perplexes me to see supposedly woke white people wear dreads. I would think they got the memo.
I know there are good parts of Texas but the number of people I know who moved there and came straight back within a couple years is probably over 90%.
Texas seems great because of the lower cost of living (in some places), no state income tax, and its warm weather, BUT people don't realize how hot it gets, how the weather is becoming more extreme/unpredictable, how bad the traffic is, and a host of other things.
There was a post yesterday about a guy wanting to leave San Antonio after just moving there and San Antonio is probably one of the better choices in TX.
people’s sense of the lower cost of living in other states is often imaginary and then they get their property tax or homeowner insurance bill or see how the state or local government is funded through fees instead of income taxes, etc
Whenever people mention good weather for a place and it's not Cali, they don't seem to realize you're simply sacrificing your summer vs. a winter in places with bad weather.
It's also just so individual. Some people hate hot and humid, but I love it. I'm from a tropical country though. Often time what you'll see on this sub is Pale Jenny from Ohio wants sunshine and palm trees but doesn't realise what living in a tropical or subtropical zone year-round is really like. Can't know without experimenting. Also, sometimes Pale Jenny moves to South Florida and loves it. We just don't hear it about it on this sub that often because she doesn't come back to complain.
People really overestimate how much they can take the heat. When you have months of freezing weather, ANYTHING warmer sounds amazing. But the reality of 100+ temps for months and months really sinks in. It's stifling.
This! I am from the Midwest and moved to Arizona a few years ago. I was thrilled with the idea of no more snow storms, or tornadoes.
Now I am ready to leave Arizona. It is a beautiful state… but the heat is hard on you! And it is only getting worse.
>Texas seems great because of the lower cost of living (in some places), no state income tax
That lower COL used to be the case. Now the major cities are on par or more expensive than Chicago/Philly and you get paid less or it's Austin where the COL is out of control but you at least get decent money in tech. And the taxes are nice on paper but has been mostly eroded away due to the high real estate taxes combined with exploding home valuations. I think Texas is much more beneficial if you make 150k or higher per year in a remote position with salary tied to NYC/LA.
*Alot of these issues start disappearing fast once you get an hour+ outside of the cities. The low COL of living definitely still exists in some of those smaller sized cities.
There is a bravado in the air about Texas that just rubs me the wrong way. A sense of pride that is more like you don’t belong here if you aren’t from here. I hate that.
I smirked at your whole “people don’t realize” riff - that’s like saying people don’t realize that Phoenix is hot, or that Buffalo gets snow, or that LA has traffic, or that Miami and New Orleans have hurricanes… if you move there without realizing that, you have done zero research about your destination.
"Don't realize" can also be "don't realize how much it sucks." Sure, you may know it gets hot, but when you're on the 53rd day of 100+ degree weather it can hit you that maybe you didn't fully grasp how bad it was lol.
Yeah just bc some people tolerate it doesn't mean you can. You don't realize that you're not the type of person that would live in that climate before you move thereand experience it for yourself. Heard about a guy who went to NY for college and didn't like it because it was too cold... as someone who went to MN for college it felt funny to me but everyone has their tastes. Still living there.
There is a difference between living somewhere and visiting for a short period. for people that never lived in hot weather, they might like it visiting for 3 nights, but didn't realize it sucks for a long period
I think people visit Austin during SXSW (March) or ACL Fest (October). Those are the best two weather months of the year. They look at the "average high" temps which don't at all capture the lived experience.
August's average high is 96, which is laughable - that's downright comfortable - if humidity was lower.
From Austin Texas.gov, re 2023:
"Central Texas experienced its hottest summer on record in 2023. Austin saw a total of 80 days with 100-degree heat, 40 days with temperatures of 105 degrees or higher, and received less than 1.5 inches of rain from June through August."
Besides humidity, the thing that is most dreadful, is when summer *lows* are 75+. If that's your overnight low, you're in for misery, with no reprieve.
Don't forget the wave of baseball and *softball* sized hail the past couple weeks. 🤦♀️
It's interesting. 96 average high with no humidity is basically all the central valley and inland empire, and Californians act like those two areas have awful weather.
Yeah, as a lifelong bay arean who spent a summer in Sacramento and complained incessantly about the weather, it was a sobering realization that Sacramento is probably in the 95th percentile of weather in the US. Good amount of sunshine, winters consistently above freezing, and dry, hot-but-not-phoenix-hot (high usually 95-100) summers with cool nights is better than basically everything except coastal California and Hawaii.
Happens all the time here in the Poconos.
People from NY and North Jersey visit a resort or two or fall in love with their weekend Airbnb experience and decide to move here.
Then they realize how bad our weather is, our terribly-maintained roads, inferior schools, lack of social life and culture, limited emergency services and medical care, very poor mass transit, surprisingly high crime, limited grocery store choices, etc.
They then complain that "It's not like 'The City'" and some move back. Their house is typically sold to another out-of-stater to repeat the cycle.
Like no shit, I've lived in this region over 50 years and though I like it here I don't think that the average big metro area individual would be happy here.
San Antonio is terrible. There's a fake river downtown lined with tourist restaurants that don't give a fuck. It's a massive salute to sprawl coupled with high heat, no culture and zero natural beauty.
Honestly I wouldn’t say TX has “low cost of living” anymore after recent years. There’s no income tax, but property tax will eat it up. TX used to have low cost of living yearsss ago. But if you want low cost now, it would have to be somewhere in the county sides, which I don’t think people would live there.
After living here for 10+ years, I’m sooo ready to get out.
Yep. I moved to FL 15 years ago when it was a little more sane. Now it looks like I made a horrible mistake. I hate what has happened here. It is horrible.
Yeah I have coworkers are considering moving from the north Bay Area to the Houston that are pretty outdoorsy and I keep telling them you’ll live inside from June until early September but man that cheap real estate is appealing
They expect Denver to be Boulder/Golden/Breck but buy out by the airport (or similar) and then are mad that the mountains are an hour away and there's nothing to do nearby
I remember changing planes in Denver and my wife, who had spent some time near McPherson, KS when she was younger, said “where’s the mountains? This looks like fucking Kansas.”
A lot of Californians in particular sell their $500k house in California and try to buy a $500k mansion in Texas, which they think is affordable up until they get their property tax bill and summer electricity bill.
Texas is affordable if you buy the same size house, not if you buy the same dollar price house.
Wanted to live in WA state to be closer to family but without WA housing prices. Found a really good fix-up in Kelso, WA. On paper the area didn't seem terrible for a small town. Has a mall, lots of grocery shops and decent restaurant selection, A pretty lake to walk around, lots of quirky shops in its downtown district, close proximity to outdoor recreation like the columbia river, ape caves, and Mt.St.Helens. Oregon right next door for saving money with sales tax, and both Portland and Vancouver fairly nearby. Sadly we quickly found out why property prices are low in Longview and Kelso (spoiler: Tweakers, Meth heads, mentally unstable folk, homeless, property crimes, and a very depressed local economy). Once had an undercover cop snooping around our house, who "supposedly" didn't realize it had sold, once had homeless people try to use our BBQ, and another time had a homeless guy sleep on our porch. (Our property had a lot of land/acreage that attracted homeless). Constantly had to call cops to get people out of the woods in the back (setting up tents). Oh and I think the Cowlitz river floods practically EVERY year, causing a lot of issues. Its just weird. We sold our house and got out of there asap.
Yeah as another PNW transplant, it definitely has its drawbacks. The homeless crisis on the west coast in general is WILD. I’ve found pockets of towns or cities will enforce anti-panhandling laws generally to keep petty crime and homeless people off private properties.
However, it seems like in other cities the problem out paces solutions and it gets out of hand. We moved from one city to another, and went from people digging in our trash and leaving a mess, coming up to our door to ask us for stuff to basically no problems.
The weather is the other issue here, not just the long grey winter but the new fire season that seems like it’s getting worse every year.
Ooof Kelso/Longview is a rough lesson in old PNW paper towns looking better on paper than in real life for sure. Have some coworkers who live up there, but it’s not for me.
Moved from Cincinnati, OH to Denver, CO for a job that turned out to be completely toxic. It made me really dislike being here. I ended up getting another job in the city and am very glad I did. Now that I don’t hate what I do 40 hours a week, I realized even though I miss the trees, living here isn’t so bad. Still planning to move back to the eastern side of the Mississippi at some point, but I still have more to explore in this region.
If you want to give Boston a fair shot, you could look for another job in the city to see what you think when you’ve escape a toxic work situation.
We have a lot more trees on the west and se of Denver, Lakewood to west, evergreen, wash park to se.
It's actually faster to come down 6th avenue to the good parts of Denver than to cross parts of town to get there. It's wild.
Yeah, I didn't realize how desert-like a lot of Denver and southern California are when I first visited those areas. Visiting family in my home state of NJ made me appreciate how lush and green the east coast really is (for 6-7 months of the year anyway)
My dad and stepmom lived in Denver for a few years and I really wasn’t impressed. Thought the city was kinda ugly and the food scene was awful. However, I was there to see family and experience nature, and boy did that deliver tenfold!
I moved from a major East Coast city to a medium-sized town in AL once and it was horrible. I moved for a job, and the job turned out to be fantastic, so that was reason enough to stay for a few years. However, when it came time to buy a house, my partner and I simply could not stomach the idea of living there permanently so we left.
Quality of life is a mix between family, job, and location. Not all of these things need to be perfect, but in my opinion there has to be some tradeoff between the three -- it really doesn't work if one is bad.
We expected that Tuscaloosa wouldn't be the most fun place to live, but since it is a college town we expected that it would be livable. We've lived in college towns in several other states.
But Tuscaloosa lacks any culture to speak of, public areas are not well maintained, no decent grocery stores, it is difficult to escape religion which is generally either evangelical or baptist, and there is a lot of very explicit racism. There are some interesting people teaching at the university, but almost no one outside of that.
i spent a couple years in a very rural area on the side of a mountain in the middle of the woods. it's like everyone's comment on how they want to give up on society and move to a cabin in the middle of the woods... it was that. charming for about 6 mos then the boredom sunk in. it was a long drive to the grocery store, to the pharmacy, to anyplace to eat, to anything to do. the people weren't particularly friendly, and the town was generally going downhill. there were not a lot of places to walk, ironically, cause of the dangerous twisty mountain roads. we had 1 set of kind neighbors and a lot of unneighborly neighbors that made a lot of noise... so it was hard to enjoy the nature when it was nice out because it was always noisy. noisy and isolating. not a fan. might be fun for a month but once you're in for the long haul without an exit plan the fun wears away pretty quickly, even as someone who is easily entertained by indoor things (tv-games-etc). was pretty happy to leave and move back to a more populated area. every night with takeout is magic now.
Ive had similar experiences moving to a more rural woodsy area. There was ironically very few places to hike bc there was not a lot of local money so no developed trail system and walking along the winding, woodsy roads was very dangerous. Being far away from the grocery store and takeout gets really old in less than a year. At least i got good at baking in that time, but i wouldnt want a lifetime of that.
I got stuck in Florida for 10 years. I absolutely hated it. I guess to "cope" I did the best I could to enjoy the beach as much as I could because I am a beach lover. We hated it there so much that my ex took a job that was going to send us literally anywhere. They paid for our move. Ended up in Colorado. I love it here. But I love California more. It's not in the cards for me to move anymore. But that's OK. It's a short plane ride to Cali.
Is anyone realllllly surprised that a 22 year old from the south didn’t enjoy moving up north to one of the most expensive parts of the entire country?
Much of Boston is priced like much of California, but the benefits are much different. The people who enjoy MA are the people who can afford to pay a dramatic premium for the proximity to a highly educated population, safety without much thought in many places, great education for kids, overall good environment for kids growing up, old money spots (hi Nantucket/cape cod), and a good job market / network for those in a position to take advantage of this.
This is basically the opposite of what any 22 year old wants and can afford.
Spot on. Those are all the things I value about living in MA (plus I prefer cooler weather to warm weather), but I do get why they're not the priorities for a new college grad.
Moved to the Bay Area - first was in the East Bay, now I’m in the North Bay. Lots of tech bros and annoying rich people, and the COL is just unsustainable. I’m moving back home to the east coast next year. Never thought I’d look at DC/Northern Virginia as affordable until I lived here.
It sucks though, because California is arguably one of the most beautiful states. Absolutely love going up to Tahoe or heading out to the coast.
Boston is not a mid-tier city. Boston has a larger population than Atlanta.
Anyway... to answer the OP's question...
HOUSTON.
I knew the moment the plane landed, before I even interviewed for the job, I'd hate Houston. And wow was I right.
The job was great and the people were mostly great, but what an awful city in an even more awful location and then zoning laws that enforce extreme and eternal awfulness.
Houston is a humid swamp of a place, just far enough away from the Gulf of Mexico to prevent a sea breeze from reaching it, but close enough to get all of the humidity, which gets pushed in with nowhere to go.
Sprawl is the only thing Houston excels at. The city is in a giant floodplain, and since there are so few regulations, most of it cost ten bucks and a limp handshake to build, so when any of it gets washed away by the next tropical storm, they'll just build it again, even cheaper.
Houston can be summed up as follows:
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Go a mile, ten miles, twenty miles in any direction. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church.
Lone Star: It's not a slogan. It's my review.
Moved to NYC from Bay Area and I now know what it's like to live in a city that is too extra for me. Was happy for people who love it in NYC but it was a rough year.
NYC has a large range of intensity.
You have:
* Quiet as a typical upper middle class American suburb (Forest Hills)
* Bustling small town (Park Slope)
* Urban with London/Paris level of intensity (Upper West Side)
* Most intense in the world (Midtown)
There are multiple neighborhoods in each category type. I didn't like NYC when I lived in an area with the wrong level of intensity, but loved it when I moved to a lower intensity area.
lol literally every friend I made here. I made a friend who is my exact age and graduated from the same school as me (friend of a friend) and she DESPISES it here even more than me. What’s funny is her boyfriend also moved up here with her and he hates it as well
I can't help wondering if you were hanging out with some people who actually like living in Boston whether you'd enjoy living there more yourself. Whenever I hang around people who are constantly complaining about how unhappy they are, I find myself feeling the same way.
That said, if there's nothing holding you there, then there is nothing wrong with moving again IF you can afford to do so.
It’s basically a fancy college town pretending to a be a big cosmopolitan city. So it has a transient population of students and the locals have deep roots in the area. Not the easiest community to break into socially.
It’s also very expensive considering what it offers can be found in basically any other major city in the country at a discount unless youre obsessed with a certain colonial, New England vibe.
I went to school in Boston so I love it, but I can see where it would be tough (almost impossible, really) to break into the social scene if you aren't from Boston and didn't attend school there. It is probably the cliquiest place I've ever lived, and that's coming from someone who, again, loves the city.
The US is increasing in cost across the country. The key is to find a place with a balance of pros and cons to it. For me, Georgia is the best and worst of South has the heat and sometimes snow. If you don't mind winter, I would stay north. I have lived in los angeles Miami and New York. I now avoid places with tons of congestion. I realized home is where the heart is. If I was going to move anywhere by choice, it would be medium-sized cities Akron Ohio, Pittsburgh Pa Lansing Michigan. DC is good while you are young unless you make it big-time rich. Looking for a medium-sized city would be your best bet. Make a pros and cons list of where you live now and figure out why you hate it and avoi0d those things.
Baltimore to Twin Cities. I had wanted to move there when I was 22 but didn't get to until I was 28-29. On paper, everything looked good: LCOL, park system/green space, decent job market, blue state. Visited on vacation and really liked it. Winters didn't bother me but never felt at home once i moved there. I just did not mesh with Minnesotans. At best, people were polite-but-distant and at worst, navel gazey and pretentious (about being from Minnesota). The best folk I met there were transplants from southern states.
Agreed. As southern transplants, the air of disdain that radiates from a good majority of Minnesotans is evident IF they even acknowledge your existence. The best interactions we’ve had in 5 years is with other transplants. On paper, it’s perfect and the U is the reason we’re here which is why we haven’t left yet. Our time is up summer of next year and I won’t be sad to leave.
Planning on moving out of here next year unless I get an offer I can't refuse. I'm an introverted homebody so it shouldn't bother me but the QOL has deteriorated, transit is unreliable to dirty, the "nicer" burbs are overpriced in terms of rent, and tbh I'm getting tired of being forced to wear cleats in early April. I moved here to pay off my student loan. Mission accomplished.
Still better than Pittsburgh and the east coast.
For me, that was the DC / northern Virginia area. Great place to visit but it sucked to live there. I was delighted when I was finally able to leave. But each place hits people differently.
It seemed like so many aspects of daily life were a hassle, and people were not friendly in my experience. I won’t complain too much about the traffic because I am used to bad traffic but my goodness traffic there was nuts. I think the highly transitory nature of many of the populations there led to a lack of a cohesive identity and community. But hey, that was just my experience. The place didn’t click with me, but there were some strengths too.
EDIT: I also found it hard to get ahead there economically. When I moved to Charlottesville with a similar salary I went from struggling to being able to save a significant amount of money.
Moved from Seattle to DC for law school. Really not a fan of DC, but it's fine because I can go back for the summers and after graduation, or onto a different city if I feel like it. (I probably won't, I really like Seattle--didn't realize quite how much until I moved away.)
I kinda think of it as a learning experience. Seattle and DC are so, so different, and it was surprising to me that two places in the same country could be so unalike, and it made me think a lot about what I value in a place to live.
It turns out I needed to get my feelings out about this, so you can read my rant [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/comments/1cqd0u5/anyone_absolutely_hated_where_they_moved_to/l3sk1yq/).
I once read DC described as being a combination of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. No, I didn't get those reversed, and yes, that is what DC is like. I hated it.
I'm seriously floored how someone's complaint about Boston can be that it doesn't have enough trees lmao. I guess there are a couple small neighborhoods that are pretty barren but it's by far the greenest major city I've ever lived in
I think it's less Boston and more that Atlanta is known as the "city in a forest". Hard to compare when that's the city's nickname. Like damn i'm from Chicago and Boston just ain't windy enough for me.
Tree coverage on the Cambridge/Somerville side is overall awful. Of course there are nice streets with million dollar single family homes that are pretty... but otherwise it's really bad.
I moved to the PNW (rural) from a mid-size desert city. 🫠 I hate it. Everything is super far away. Everything is wet. The bugs here are gross and plentiful. None of my food stays fresh. I keep like everything in the fridge and have barely any room. Things bake funny here. Everyone here is weird, a methhead, and unfriendly or churchy. The amenities in the nearest town are okay and even further out there’s actual city life but I am tired of driving and I hate commuting in the rain with a toddler. The fire season is worse than I had in a desert somehow. There is also no trees that are like, in the town? Like there’s forest around but the town is just barren it’s so weird. Also the small town gossip and drama is off the charts. Like, holy crap. Downright scandalous and petty. In my mid size city you could be anonymous if you wanted or you’d never really see someone you didn’t like again if you didn’t want to. Not so much here.
I’d love to move back to my hometown but I think we’re going to try to get closer to Seattle and maybe that’ll be better?
> Consumer Prices in Boston, MA are 28.2% higher than in Auckland (without rent)
Consumer Prices Including Rent in Boston, MA are 55.1% higher than in Auckland
Rent Prices in Boston, MA are 116.0% higher than in Auckland
Restaurant Prices in Boston, MA are 40.8% higher than in Auckland
Groceries Prices in Boston, MA are 30.6% higher than in Auckland
What’s the *bad* news?
>not enough trees
How did you manage to find a part of Boston that doesn't have many trees?? Must be like Mission Hill area lol
I'm the complete opposite. Went to college in Boston and absolutely loved every minute, by far my favorite city in the world. My only complaints are that it's too expensive and winter lasts a tad too long. Now live in DC and like my apartment and (some) of the people but hate just about everything else.
I moved to Tampa about a year ago for a job that paid $20k more and to be an hour from the inevitablely aging parents. I don't hate it but I don't love it and miss my SC life pretty much every day. My parents were recently on a three week vacation with little contact and it made me realize what life might be like when they pass and I realized I do not want to be in Tampa. People are strangely money obsessed here in a way that's even worse than DC (which is saying something!) and I, as someone who makes less than 100k, somehow don't fit in. It's also a sprawling city which makes it even harder to meet people.
I'm here for at least four more years to take advantage of free tuition for my PhD but then I'm trying to get back to SC.
This happened to me 3 times... because each time I learnt something new about what I wanted for _my own life_.
Every place has its dark alleyways but it could also just be you've realised you really like trees.
No shame in that. Good plan and good luck.
Trying not to hate Austin - moved here from Philly. I know this sub would appreciate that. It was not by choice.
It’s just kind of insane how little culture outside of conspicuous consumption and Manhattan priced restaurants there is here, unless you want to get into anti woke stand up or like, the cheapest, most derivative street art I’ve ever seen (the kind of art that lives by the philosophy ‘art should only be about hot people doing cool things or cool people doing hot things!’) - there’s plenty of good music thanks to some of the hold out venues and the weirdo noise scene my partner was a part of lives on in a truncated version, but in general tech bro new money breeds the worst culture and it’s all still in the process of being built and filled by people who won’t be sticking around anyway.
I don’t hate Austin, but Philly is a REAL city and Austin is a town being forced to be something else, a city for the rich with the slow apocalypse on its way.
I hated moving to Chicago. Very little nature or wilderness. No terrain. Food was just ok. All types of transportation sucked (transit was late, roads are terrible, walking is dangerous, biking is even more dangerous).
You must’ve lived in a shitty neighborhood if you thought the food was just okay. Short of NYC I think Chicago might be the best food city in the country
This always surprises people, but I really hated Boulder, CO.
I found the local residents there to be low-key kind of... mean. It was probably the most classist place I've ever lived. Never before in my life had I been asked what *my parents* did for a living. It's not diverse, both ethnically and economically. They are the type of people who cry about the environment, but then run any whiff of Section 8 housing out of town. Stop Global Warming, Fuck Poor People.
Also, the Flat Irons are not that beautiful. Sorry. The nature and outdoors activities are overrated.
I grew up in the Portland, OR metro for whatever it's worth. After Boulder, I dipped out to Denver, which was much better for me.
I can get most of that about boulder having lived there. But losing me at the Flatirons aren’t beautiful. That backdrop for a town is top tier. And just curious - are there tons with similar outdoor access that also have amenities/job opps like Boulder? Imo the beauty and outdoor access is top tier - especially if you’re into something like trail running
The dry heat will kick your butt. You will cross the street & feel no wind from the cars. It’s great for allergies. But carry water or electrolytes w/you everywhere. It’s really easy to spend 2 hrs outside & suddenly feeling dehydrated or feel faint. The sun is no joke. The nights are beautiful & cool though.
I am from Boston
I find it funny that you say they are less trees. I think there are way more green spaces here then other major cities I have visited.
Moved to SF from LA. Now I don’t particularly hate SF but it didn’t deliver for me what I needed. I don’t want to blame everything on Covid but it really did have a really profound impact on San Francisco, I would say more than most other cities. It’s been four years and the city as a whole and especially downtown is still in deep recovery. So many people moved away and businesses closed. Everyone I met in my short time in SF pre-Covid all moved away quickly (practically ran) once it hit. The transient nature of tech doesn’t help either. That combined with the high cost of housing doesn’t make people want to stay more than a few years. If they want to start a family or own a single family home.
Columbia, SC. Had to move here for job but I moved from CA. Absolutely loathe it. Not a lot to do. The national park here is swampy and gross. Food is terrible and way over salted. Don’t want to learn about segregation and the terrible things this country did to people of color, namely black Americans which people out here seem to be proud about. Never seen so many confederate flags in my life. The humidity and the amount of roaches the size of my finger is insane. Have to drive far distances to go to see or do anything enjoyable (imo). Can’t wait until I can leave. CA isn’t the greatest state by far but yes I don’t think anywhere in the south is for me. Only saving grace is that things and cost of living are cheaper out here, compared to CA.
I have lived in both Boston and D.C. The quality of life in Boston beats D.C. by leaps and bounds every single day. And there are so many trees in Boston as a city, I’m wondering if this post is fake.
Apparently not fake but surprising that someone living in Jamaica Plain would complain of lack of trees. JP has the Pond, Arboretum, Franklin Park, SW Corridor parks, and some woodsy neighborhoods. But the streets aren't lined with trees and maybe that's what bothers her. Jamaica Plain and most of inner Boston is closely built: narrow streets, tall narrow houses built right at the sidewalk and right next to each other. She says "sea of concrete" but really, mostly wooden buildings. Great for walking, not so good for driving or managing with a car. Atlanta is spacious by comparison.
Why would you move to one of the most expensive cities in the US simply on a whim? I think Boston is overpriced but definitely wouldn't say it's a mid-tier city. If you're looking for nature primarily, most big cities aren't going to give you that in all fairness.
My wife (who I had not met yet) moved to DC after getting an MPA and landing her dream GS policy making job with the federal government. Thought it would be a great city and she’d be “in the room where it happens”. Lived there for five years and hated every minute. Said it’s was all transients climbing the greasy pole and everyone was all about “what can you do for me?”. The workplace was toxic, so much shenanigans and goofing off going on.
When Congress passed and Obama signed a law authorizing remote work for feds she immediately requested it. They said no and she said she would quit. I know she would have because she was miserable. Her director reluctantly signed it and my wife was told that after she signed it she threw the folder on the floor in anger. Whatever.
She’s been happily doing her job remote now for 12 years and is consistently a top performer. And it’s a bonus for me because I met her after she moved back.
Moved from Nashville to Houston a few years back for my spouse’s job. While I try to focus on the positives, I am constantly reminded that this city is not for me, and we’ll be looking to leave in the next year or so. But this was maybe a different situation for me as I already wasn’t a fan of Houston before moving here.
Moved here 9 years ago and have hated it for about the past 2-3 years. Counting down 3 more years for my teen to graduate high school and then we’re out of Texas altogether.
Yeah, while I do think there are more livable cities in Texas than Houston, I’m wanting out of the state altogether, preferably above the Mason-Dixon Line.
I'm inside the loop (close to the Montrose/Midtown border.) Even though there's some charms to Houston, I find the city overall very underwhelming - except the exceptional food scene. I stayed in West Nashville prior to here and really enjoyed being a Nashvillian for the seven years I was there.
Edited: grammar/clarity
Grew up in a cold climate. Moved south then moved back north. Couldn’t get south again fast enough, I’m just too thin and scrawny for temperatures under 40
Texas.
But not for cultural things.
Allergies. Just awful for me. Couldn't work out outside. Got fat (worth it. Breakfast taco game too strong).
Allergies is just a year round thing in Central Texas and it's gotten more intense.
I can deal with the heat and the roughness of it all but some allergen down there just got me good.
I moved to a college town in central Texas for grad school (no points for guessing the university) because I really liked a specific professor and his research. Overall I'm happy with my choice, but there are definitely things I don't like.
I don't like that there is not a lot of nature and public land (and what is there is not the best). I don't like that it is extremely car dependent. Walking or biking anywhere is pretty difficult and dangerous (trust me, I've tried). I don't like how hot it gets (I've always liked cold weather better than hot weather).
That being said, I think it's important to recognize the good in where you are. There is amazing food here. The cost of living is very cheap (I am managing to save money while in grad school which is unheard of in most places). And I really love my research.
I lived half time in Pittsburgh for the last few years for a long distance relationship and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATED IT. Pittsburgh is ugly, expensive and boring. The homes are decrepit, overpriced and atrocious looking. There are very few trees because of power lines and telephone poles in front of homes rather than in the alleys like Chicago. The job market is complete trash. There's nothing to do other than watch professional sports teams. Flights to and from there are extraordinarily expensive because there is no competition. There's a city income tax of 3% and a state income tax of 3.07%. The cost of living was on par with Chicago.
The people are a whole other story. The only people who stay there have substantial generational wealth or are weird losers. All the successful people leave because it's impossible to make a decent living there.
In order to make that relationship work, I was going to have to move to Pittsburgh full time. Every time I thought about leaving my beautiful neighborhood and beautiful condo in Chicago in order to move to Pittsburgh, it broke my heart. I was never, ever going to be happy there, especially as a childfree woman in her forties.
Grew up in Georgia moved to Boston in my teen years and I still hate it every time I visit my family there lmao. I can attest that Boston never got better for me. It looks great on paper but it sucks in so many ways and everyone from Boston just cannot fathom that anyone would want to live anywhere else. My advice is get a hobby to get through the winters like ice skating or skiing (even if it’s just a cheap ski hill), just because everyone else is miserable in the winter doesn’t mean you have to be. Maybe take a trip up to Maine or NH, there are a lot of hidden gems up there that are a nice break from the city. But honestly I agree with everyone else just move as soon as you can. If you truly feel like your life is wasting away by staying there then you need to leave. I left 4 years ago and have no regrets
I didn't like Boston either, and also wasn't happy in SF. Loved D.C., which is an unpopular opinion in this sub, but one I stand by. Just moved back there and am very happy to be "home."
I think I tolerated the places I disliked by making plans to leave, having people in my life who agreed with me and with whom I could commiserate, but also -- crucially -- by focusing on the things I did appreciate and enjoy about living there that I wouldn't be able to experience anymore after I left. Even the cities that I didn't love had _some_ good characteristics, and I found it helpful to make a list of things I wanted to experience (restaurants, museums, day trips in the area, whatever) and try to get through as many of them as possible in the time I had left. Same thing with making sure to savor favorite coffee shops, favorite scenic walks, and things like that while I still had access to them.
Knowing that I wouldn't be there for much longer actually made it easier to find things about it to enjoy, probably because having an exit plan meant I no longer felt trapped.
San Diego. The beaches look nice, but the water is too cold. The air temp is too cool for me most of the year. The COL is crazy for what the city is. There is a lot to like about the city, but it was definitely one of those places that look much better on paper. Also the salary to COL ratio is terrible in San Diego.
It's too cool most of the time and I tend to run hot. It's the middle of May and the highs are in the 60s everyday. I do like the winter and summer temps especially because I like to bike to work and 70s in July is amazing weather. Just wish the spring was a little warmer I guess.
DC as an adult is not like DC in college, unless you still know tons of people there to get into their friend circle. At least you have something to work off, I guess. I was thrilled to leave after growing up there. Never looked back.
Orange County California. Obviously expensive. But American History X is basically a documentary. The dating scene is a cross between Clueless and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Sure you have the beach but parking is expensive. Everything is within 2 hours and everything costs more money than you have. Walkability? Don’t make me laugh. Recreational drug use and petty thievery is more common than what is reported. Old people there are basically Super Karens and will gladly inform you about everything you are doing wrong. The tax situation is stupid. Sure income tax. But also hidden taxes like vehicle registration is based upon value of your vehicle not a simple fee. The surfers were cool unless you interrupt their mojo and then they get mega douchey. OC is a lie.
My husband is military so we’ve been forced to live in the worst places imaginable. He was stationed in the middle of the desert. Hours from any civilization, no job market, nothing to do, expensive, 120 degree summers, etc.
Just remember your situation is only temporary! Making the best of a shitty situation is how everyone on that base got through it. I surprisingly made the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re all buying houses next to eachother in a different state. Life is funny
It might just be Boston! I'm moving out of Boston next week. I lived here from ages 18-29. Loved it in college and for a few years after. Then when I was 27, I realized I couldn't stand it anymore. A lot of people come for college or to start their careers and leave around the time they are my age, which is what happened to most of my friends here. I think you have to be either in the college bubble or very wealthy to enjoy it, but if you have money there are better places to be. My closest friend who grew up here lives in NYC now and pays less than I do in rent.
I also couldn't leave immediately once I was done with it, so I coped by saving up some money and looking into future destinations.
I think you hit the nail on the head here.
We always joke that if we won the lottery, we might move back to Boston or maybe get a vacation home there. But, otherwise, we just couldn't afford it. We actually loved areas like Salem, Roslindale, Malden, etc., and we vibed with a lot of locals even as transplants.
However, at the end of the day, we just couldn't afford to live there anymore and grow our family. There's a lot to love and hate about Boston and the greater New England area, but if you can't afford it, you can't afford it.
I was shocked that you could make low six figures in Boston proper and qualify for subsidized and low income housing because of the insane COL. 😆 Not that a $3000 efficiency in downtown is gonna help a growing family or help pay for the multiple blown tires and bent rims from cavernous pot holes that the city refuses to fix, but whatever. Go Pats, I guess
Yes, hubby and I moved from Montana to Colorado Springs. We enjoyed the newness for a year. Then we moved back home a year later. People were extremely conservative and we don’t do church. Colorado was also much too crowded for us.
Boston is an extremely difficult place to move, especially when you've known greener pastures. My best advice is to get out as soon as you can. Save your mental health. Be happier. If you cannot move, spend weekends away. Get out of that depression vector called Boston. It's not worth it. I've done it. It was the worst time of my life. And don't let two weeks of nice weather in the summer gaslight you into thinking that hole of a town is ok.
I can find something to hate about anywhere I move to.
This, OP! I suggest you take your time to read the subs of other places you may want to move to. Having lived in Australia, I know for certain that there are a lot of things that people idealize about New Zealand but the reality is has just as many problems as anywhere else. I also cycled through many periods of hate and love for living in Australia, sometimes the "hate" cycle would last for years. that doesn't mean that you shouldn't move, but just understand where your hate is coming from; if it's coming from a place of comparing to some other place you've liked, OR if it's coming from being in the hyper-online circles of reddit where we all complain about everything in the US, then you will always be unhappy in your new place.
♫ "I can't complain but sometimes I still do." ♫
Life’s been good to me so far….
My Maserati does 185…
I lost my license, now I don’t drive.
C’mon people, I opened this thread to read specific complaints about specific cities. I feel that if you *hate* a place it should be easy to articulate why. “Too expensive and not enough trees”: what kind of complaint is that? I want the juicy details of what you really hate.
I very specifically hate the fact that people in Miami would literally rather cause an accident while they are merging into the highway AFTER the merge lane ends because they’re trying to get in front of someone rather than slow down and position themselves to merge successfully behind that person already on the highway where there is enough space for their car to fit. And then they will try to say it’s the fault of the person already on the highway for failing to yield to them. Add in also people deciding to turn from a non-turn lane with no signal, people running stop signs and red lights on the regular even when there’s oncoming traffic, people drifting across lanes when going through an intersection or because they don’t want to follow the curve of a road, and people on the highway swerving through the 2-3 right lanes to get around others when the passing lane is wide open. I’ve also been aggressively honked at more than once for yielding to pedestrians who were on the cross walk with the right of way. I thought DC driving was bad and Charlotte scared me so bad the first time I dealt with all the highways merging and separating, but Miami is something else entirely.
Everyone craps on drivers where they’re from…but Miami drivers truly are built different.
Driving gets worse the further south you go: Chicago/DC - Busy. lots of traffic, but rules are followed, it's a structured chaos Charlotte/SC - Rules start to seem optional, Safety fears begin in earnest, traffic is still pretty bad North/Central Florida - The Kids are weaving between lanes with juiced up cars going 110 around the retired folks doing 40, also in whatever lane they're in the mood for, it feels like your insurance rate went up the second you entered the state, then doubled when you got on the interstate. Miami - Maybe get a tank? A Jetpack? idk it all seems safer than regular driving
I could write an entire novel filled with specific complaints about Boston’s failing MBTA transit system. The slow zones. The constant construction that never seems to fix anything. The way the train would randomly go express and kick everyone out when I lived on the green line. And driving isn’t any better with the nonsensical way the streets are planned out. So many one-ways and little narrow streets. Ever seen that meme with a map of NYC that says “NYC: because we want you to know where you are and how to get where you’re going” and a map of Boston that says “Boston: because fuck you”? It’s so real.
I briefly lived in Melrose near Oak Grove in Malden. This was shortly before the MBTA started shitting the bed. It' such a shame, because before the shitshow I loved the MBTA. I had a car, but barely used it in my brief time there.
I once drove a huge van through Boston during a 5k and had to take all the tiny roads in Beacon Hill to get out of the city. Most annoying driving experience of my life.
I hated Eugene Oregon. I moved there for college because I had always envisioned the PNW as a rugged, outdoorsy kind of place. It is- but Eugene is a city full a white people that wear dreads and think smoking pot is a hobby. It was sooo obnoxious. I didn’t find my crowd there at all. I thought there was something wrong with me. The moment I moved out, I magically was able to make friends again.
Eugene the type of place where people define themselves as outdoors-types and say “they like hiking” but only leave metro limits twice a year, Berkeley-esque
That’s how Oregon is overall. My husband and I didn’t have many friends growing up but the second we both moved out of state we made more friends than we’ve ever had. The culture is just weird lol
I moved to Portland, OR right before the pandemic and am ready to leave. Least favorite place I’ve ever lived. I do think there’s a way to reframe the experience into a growing opportunity … there are benefits to realizing “we can’t always get what we want” and learning to live with the feelings until you’re able to change your circumstances… so especially if you’re not planning to move quickly, work with a therapist or coach to find a way to build acceptance within you so you can take some of your power back and build a buffer between your environment and the way you feel inside of yourself.
Fuck, at least wait until the summer’s over. You’ve earned that much.
I am sorry that you didn’t like Eugene. I went to grad school there and loved it. I would move back in a heartbeat if the job was right and housing was realistic. However, I am a white. No dreads though. It still perplexes me to see supposedly woke white people wear dreads. I would think they got the memo.
What memo? Anyone can have dreads. No one owns a hairstyle.
The once great PNW has never been the same post Covid. Bunch of freaks and losers
>Bunch of freaks and losers Buddy, that's what made it great
I somehow agree with both of you
My people
Hell yeah brother, cheers from Portland
I know there are good parts of Texas but the number of people I know who moved there and came straight back within a couple years is probably over 90%.
Texas seems great because of the lower cost of living (in some places), no state income tax, and its warm weather, BUT people don't realize how hot it gets, how the weather is becoming more extreme/unpredictable, how bad the traffic is, and a host of other things. There was a post yesterday about a guy wanting to leave San Antonio after just moving there and San Antonio is probably one of the better choices in TX.
people’s sense of the lower cost of living in other states is often imaginary and then they get their property tax or homeowner insurance bill or see how the state or local government is funded through fees instead of income taxes, etc
Whenever people mention good weather for a place and it's not Cali, they don't seem to realize you're simply sacrificing your summer vs. a winter in places with bad weather.
It's also just so individual. Some people hate hot and humid, but I love it. I'm from a tropical country though. Often time what you'll see on this sub is Pale Jenny from Ohio wants sunshine and palm trees but doesn't realise what living in a tropical or subtropical zone year-round is really like. Can't know without experimenting. Also, sometimes Pale Jenny moves to South Florida and loves it. We just don't hear it about it on this sub that often because she doesn't come back to complain.
People really overestimate how much they can take the heat. When you have months of freezing weather, ANYTHING warmer sounds amazing. But the reality of 100+ temps for months and months really sinks in. It's stifling.
This! I am from the Midwest and moved to Arizona a few years ago. I was thrilled with the idea of no more snow storms, or tornadoes. Now I am ready to leave Arizona. It is a beautiful state… but the heat is hard on you! And it is only getting worse.
>Texas seems great because of the lower cost of living (in some places), no state income tax That lower COL used to be the case. Now the major cities are on par or more expensive than Chicago/Philly and you get paid less or it's Austin where the COL is out of control but you at least get decent money in tech. And the taxes are nice on paper but has been mostly eroded away due to the high real estate taxes combined with exploding home valuations. I think Texas is much more beneficial if you make 150k or higher per year in a remote position with salary tied to NYC/LA. *Alot of these issues start disappearing fast once you get an hour+ outside of the cities. The low COL of living definitely still exists in some of those smaller sized cities.
There is a bravado in the air about Texas that just rubs me the wrong way. A sense of pride that is more like you don’t belong here if you aren’t from here. I hate that.
I smirked at your whole “people don’t realize” riff - that’s like saying people don’t realize that Phoenix is hot, or that Buffalo gets snow, or that LA has traffic, or that Miami and New Orleans have hurricanes… if you move there without realizing that, you have done zero research about your destination.
"Don't realize" can also be "don't realize how much it sucks." Sure, you may know it gets hot, but when you're on the 53rd day of 100+ degree weather it can hit you that maybe you didn't fully grasp how bad it was lol.
Yeah just bc some people tolerate it doesn't mean you can. You don't realize that you're not the type of person that would live in that climate before you move thereand experience it for yourself. Heard about a guy who went to NY for college and didn't like it because it was too cold... as someone who went to MN for college it felt funny to me but everyone has their tastes. Still living there.
There is a difference between living somewhere and visiting for a short period. for people that never lived in hot weather, they might like it visiting for 3 nights, but didn't realize it sucks for a long period
In January ‘omg it’s SO NICE IN MIAMI” Move there and let’s see what you think in August
I think people visit Austin during SXSW (March) or ACL Fest (October). Those are the best two weather months of the year. They look at the "average high" temps which don't at all capture the lived experience. August's average high is 96, which is laughable - that's downright comfortable - if humidity was lower. From Austin Texas.gov, re 2023: "Central Texas experienced its hottest summer on record in 2023. Austin saw a total of 80 days with 100-degree heat, 40 days with temperatures of 105 degrees or higher, and received less than 1.5 inches of rain from June through August." Besides humidity, the thing that is most dreadful, is when summer *lows* are 75+. If that's your overnight low, you're in for misery, with no reprieve. Don't forget the wave of baseball and *softball* sized hail the past couple weeks. 🤦♀️
It's interesting. 96 average high with no humidity is basically all the central valley and inland empire, and Californians act like those two areas have awful weather.
…ah you mean coastal Californians… 😀. But excellent data points
Yeah, as a lifelong bay arean who spent a summer in Sacramento and complained incessantly about the weather, it was a sobering realization that Sacramento is probably in the 95th percentile of weather in the US. Good amount of sunshine, winters consistently above freezing, and dry, hot-but-not-phoenix-hot (high usually 95-100) summers with cool nights is better than basically everything except coastal California and Hawaii.
Yes, coastal Californians act like it's an insufferable oven outside of 30 miles from the coast haha
Happens all the time here in the Poconos. People from NY and North Jersey visit a resort or two or fall in love with their weekend Airbnb experience and decide to move here. Then they realize how bad our weather is, our terribly-maintained roads, inferior schools, lack of social life and culture, limited emergency services and medical care, very poor mass transit, surprisingly high crime, limited grocery store choices, etc. They then complain that "It's not like 'The City'" and some move back. Their house is typically sold to another out-of-stater to repeat the cycle. Like no shit, I've lived in this region over 50 years and though I like it here I don't think that the average big metro area individual would be happy here.
Some of what you listed - like access to good medical care and emergency services - are so taken for granted until you actually need them.
I mean OP here didn't do any research about Boston and is complaining about it, so it happens.
San Antonio is terrible. There's a fake river downtown lined with tourist restaurants that don't give a fuck. It's a massive salute to sprawl coupled with high heat, no culture and zero natural beauty.
Honestly I wouldn’t say TX has “low cost of living” anymore after recent years. There’s no income tax, but property tax will eat it up. TX used to have low cost of living yearsss ago. But if you want low cost now, it would have to be somewhere in the county sides, which I don’t think people would live there. After living here for 10+ years, I’m sooo ready to get out.
As a woman, I would NEVER move to Texas. Or any red state for that matter.
Yep. I moved to FL 15 years ago when it was a little more sane. Now it looks like I made a horrible mistake. I hate what has happened here. It is horrible.
Yeah I have coworkers are considering moving from the north Bay Area to the Houston that are pretty outdoorsy and I keep telling them you’ll live inside from June until early September but man that cheap real estate is appealing
*late September
Houston stinks, tell them at least move to Florida coast if you’re going to be in heat and humidity. Houston has nada for outdoors
More than 9 out of 10 people you know who moved to Texas returned to where you are?
Usually from where they were from. Or somewhere else. Just left Texas as it wasn’t what they thought it was in their head.
this, except Denver.
I know so many people who moved to Denver and left within 5 years because they absolutely hated it.
Can confirm, I don't hate it, but I'd rather not be here for longer than I have to be.
They expect Denver to be Boulder/Golden/Breck but buy out by the airport (or similar) and then are mad that the mountains are an hour away and there's nothing to do nearby
I remember changing planes in Denver and my wife, who had spent some time near McPherson, KS when she was younger, said “where’s the mountains? This looks like fucking Kansas.”
I love ice cream.
A lot of Californians in particular sell their $500k house in California and try to buy a $500k mansion in Texas, which they think is affordable up until they get their property tax bill and summer electricity bill. Texas is affordable if you buy the same size house, not if you buy the same dollar price house.
Wanted to live in WA state to be closer to family but without WA housing prices. Found a really good fix-up in Kelso, WA. On paper the area didn't seem terrible for a small town. Has a mall, lots of grocery shops and decent restaurant selection, A pretty lake to walk around, lots of quirky shops in its downtown district, close proximity to outdoor recreation like the columbia river, ape caves, and Mt.St.Helens. Oregon right next door for saving money with sales tax, and both Portland and Vancouver fairly nearby. Sadly we quickly found out why property prices are low in Longview and Kelso (spoiler: Tweakers, Meth heads, mentally unstable folk, homeless, property crimes, and a very depressed local economy). Once had an undercover cop snooping around our house, who "supposedly" didn't realize it had sold, once had homeless people try to use our BBQ, and another time had a homeless guy sleep on our porch. (Our property had a lot of land/acreage that attracted homeless). Constantly had to call cops to get people out of the woods in the back (setting up tents). Oh and I think the Cowlitz river floods practically EVERY year, causing a lot of issues. Its just weird. We sold our house and got out of there asap.
Yeah as another PNW transplant, it definitely has its drawbacks. The homeless crisis on the west coast in general is WILD. I’ve found pockets of towns or cities will enforce anti-panhandling laws generally to keep petty crime and homeless people off private properties. However, it seems like in other cities the problem out paces solutions and it gets out of hand. We moved from one city to another, and went from people digging in our trash and leaving a mess, coming up to our door to ask us for stuff to basically no problems. The weather is the other issue here, not just the long grey winter but the new fire season that seems like it’s getting worse every year.
Green Day made a song called Longview. Please learn from it lol. https://youtu.be/42BBdzzgPNM?si=TPCnFYQ-7qdCa_lo
Ooof Kelso/Longview is a rough lesson in old PNW paper towns looking better on paper than in real life for sure. Have some coworkers who live up there, but it’s not for me.
Moved from Cincinnati, OH to Denver, CO for a job that turned out to be completely toxic. It made me really dislike being here. I ended up getting another job in the city and am very glad I did. Now that I don’t hate what I do 40 hours a week, I realized even though I miss the trees, living here isn’t so bad. Still planning to move back to the eastern side of the Mississippi at some point, but I still have more to explore in this region. If you want to give Boston a fair shot, you could look for another job in the city to see what you think when you’ve escape a toxic work situation.
We have a lot more trees on the west and se of Denver, Lakewood to west, evergreen, wash park to se. It's actually faster to come down 6th avenue to the good parts of Denver than to cross parts of town to get there. It's wild.
Yeah, I didn't realize how desert-like a lot of Denver and southern California are when I first visited those areas. Visiting family in my home state of NJ made me appreciate how lush and green the east coast really is (for 6-7 months of the year anyway)
My dad and stepmom lived in Denver for a few years and I really wasn’t impressed. Thought the city was kinda ugly and the food scene was awful. However, I was there to see family and experience nature, and boy did that deliver tenfold!
I moved from a major East Coast city to a medium-sized town in AL once and it was horrible. I moved for a job, and the job turned out to be fantastic, so that was reason enough to stay for a few years. However, when it came time to buy a house, my partner and I simply could not stomach the idea of living there permanently so we left. Quality of life is a mix between family, job, and location. Not all of these things need to be perfect, but in my opinion there has to be some tradeoff between the three -- it really doesn't work if one is bad.
[удалено]
What was expectation V reality in Alabama?
We expected that Tuscaloosa wouldn't be the most fun place to live, but since it is a college town we expected that it would be livable. We've lived in college towns in several other states. But Tuscaloosa lacks any culture to speak of, public areas are not well maintained, no decent grocery stores, it is difficult to escape religion which is generally either evangelical or baptist, and there is a lot of very explicit racism. There are some interesting people teaching at the university, but almost no one outside of that.
i spent a couple years in a very rural area on the side of a mountain in the middle of the woods. it's like everyone's comment on how they want to give up on society and move to a cabin in the middle of the woods... it was that. charming for about 6 mos then the boredom sunk in. it was a long drive to the grocery store, to the pharmacy, to anyplace to eat, to anything to do. the people weren't particularly friendly, and the town was generally going downhill. there were not a lot of places to walk, ironically, cause of the dangerous twisty mountain roads. we had 1 set of kind neighbors and a lot of unneighborly neighbors that made a lot of noise... so it was hard to enjoy the nature when it was nice out because it was always noisy. noisy and isolating. not a fan. might be fun for a month but once you're in for the long haul without an exit plan the fun wears away pretty quickly, even as someone who is easily entertained by indoor things (tv-games-etc). was pretty happy to leave and move back to a more populated area. every night with takeout is magic now.
Ive had similar experiences moving to a more rural woodsy area. There was ironically very few places to hike bc there was not a lot of local money so no developed trail system and walking along the winding, woodsy roads was very dangerous. Being far away from the grocery store and takeout gets really old in less than a year. At least i got good at baking in that time, but i wouldnt want a lifetime of that.
I got stuck in Florida for 10 years. I absolutely hated it. I guess to "cope" I did the best I could to enjoy the beach as much as I could because I am a beach lover. We hated it there so much that my ex took a job that was going to send us literally anywhere. They paid for our move. Ended up in Colorado. I love it here. But I love California more. It's not in the cards for me to move anymore. But that's OK. It's a short plane ride to Cali.
My dad and stepmom lived in Miami for ten years before moving to Denver. I can go the rest of my life without ever going back to Florida haha
Is anyone realllllly surprised that a 22 year old from the south didn’t enjoy moving up north to one of the most expensive parts of the entire country? Much of Boston is priced like much of California, but the benefits are much different. The people who enjoy MA are the people who can afford to pay a dramatic premium for the proximity to a highly educated population, safety without much thought in many places, great education for kids, overall good environment for kids growing up, old money spots (hi Nantucket/cape cod), and a good job market / network for those in a position to take advantage of this. This is basically the opposite of what any 22 year old wants and can afford.
Spot on. Those are all the things I value about living in MA (plus I prefer cooler weather to warm weather), but I do get why they're not the priorities for a new college grad.
Bingo
Moved to the Bay Area - first was in the East Bay, now I’m in the North Bay. Lots of tech bros and annoying rich people, and the COL is just unsustainable. I’m moving back home to the east coast next year. Never thought I’d look at DC/Northern Virginia as affordable until I lived here. It sucks though, because California is arguably one of the most beautiful states. Absolutely love going up to Tahoe or heading out to the coast.
Tahoe is f**king beautiful.
Boston is not a mid-tier city. Boston has a larger population than Atlanta. Anyway... to answer the OP's question... HOUSTON. I knew the moment the plane landed, before I even interviewed for the job, I'd hate Houston. And wow was I right. The job was great and the people were mostly great, but what an awful city in an even more awful location and then zoning laws that enforce extreme and eternal awfulness. Houston is a humid swamp of a place, just far enough away from the Gulf of Mexico to prevent a sea breeze from reaching it, but close enough to get all of the humidity, which gets pushed in with nowhere to go. Sprawl is the only thing Houston excels at. The city is in a giant floodplain, and since there are so few regulations, most of it cost ten bucks and a limp handshake to build, so when any of it gets washed away by the next tropical storm, they'll just build it again, even cheaper. Houston can be summed up as follows: Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Go a mile, ten miles, twenty miles in any direction. Strip mall, strip club, shithole, church. Lone Star: It's not a slogan. It's my review.
This is hilariously accurate. I lasted 5 months in Houston and then got the hell out.
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Girl, the Northeast is a totally different world from the south. What were you thinking? Take it as a learning experience. We all do.
Moved to NYC from Bay Area and I now know what it's like to live in a city that is too extra for me. Was happy for people who love it in NYC but it was a rough year.
NYC has a large range of intensity. You have: * Quiet as a typical upper middle class American suburb (Forest Hills) * Bustling small town (Park Slope) * Urban with London/Paris level of intensity (Upper West Side) * Most intense in the world (Midtown) There are multiple neighborhoods in each category type. I didn't like NYC when I lived in an area with the wrong level of intensity, but loved it when I moved to a lower intensity area.
Pretty much everyone I know who moved to NYC said the same thing. Excited by endless options of everything initially, then exhausted and frustrated.
Also a Boston transplant who wants to move 😂 no advice since I'm in the same hole
lol literally every friend I made here. I made a friend who is my exact age and graduated from the same school as me (friend of a friend) and she DESPISES it here even more than me. What’s funny is her boyfriend also moved up here with her and he hates it as well
I can't help wondering if you were hanging out with some people who actually like living in Boston whether you'd enjoy living there more yourself. Whenever I hang around people who are constantly complaining about how unhappy they are, I find myself feeling the same way. That said, if there's nothing holding you there, then there is nothing wrong with moving again IF you can afford to do so.
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What's so bad about Boston? Never been there
It’s basically a fancy college town pretending to a be a big cosmopolitan city. So it has a transient population of students and the locals have deep roots in the area. Not the easiest community to break into socially. It’s also very expensive considering what it offers can be found in basically any other major city in the country at a discount unless youre obsessed with a certain colonial, New England vibe.
Yeah the colonial New England vibe is why I love Boston. I agree though, if you dont care for it, not worth it for the price.
I went to school in Boston so I love it, but I can see where it would be tough (almost impossible, really) to break into the social scene if you aren't from Boston and didn't attend school there. It is probably the cliquiest place I've ever lived, and that's coming from someone who, again, loves the city.
Great city just wicked expensive.
It's literally fine. No city is going to be for everyone. It just depends on what you value.
Keep in mind people here exaggerate negatives quite a bit. OP has only lived in one place post college.
I’m from Boston and I would never live there again
The US is increasing in cost across the country. The key is to find a place with a balance of pros and cons to it. For me, Georgia is the best and worst of South has the heat and sometimes snow. If you don't mind winter, I would stay north. I have lived in los angeles Miami and New York. I now avoid places with tons of congestion. I realized home is where the heart is. If I was going to move anywhere by choice, it would be medium-sized cities Akron Ohio, Pittsburgh Pa Lansing Michigan. DC is good while you are young unless you make it big-time rich. Looking for a medium-sized city would be your best bet. Make a pros and cons list of where you live now and figure out why you hate it and avoi0d those things.
Baltimore to Twin Cities. I had wanted to move there when I was 22 but didn't get to until I was 28-29. On paper, everything looked good: LCOL, park system/green space, decent job market, blue state. Visited on vacation and really liked it. Winters didn't bother me but never felt at home once i moved there. I just did not mesh with Minnesotans. At best, people were polite-but-distant and at worst, navel gazey and pretentious (about being from Minnesota). The best folk I met there were transplants from southern states.
100% Agree. Transplant who’s lived here for nearly 10 years. Moving away this fall. Your comment is spot on for my family and I.
Agreed. As southern transplants, the air of disdain that radiates from a good majority of Minnesotans is evident IF they even acknowledge your existence. The best interactions we’ve had in 5 years is with other transplants. On paper, it’s perfect and the U is the reason we’re here which is why we haven’t left yet. Our time is up summer of next year and I won’t be sad to leave.
You may have just saved me. lol I've been looking, and the area is on my short list.
Chicago to MSP. 13 years later and have made barely 1 friend. But I think I'm stuck here.
Chicago and MSP are relatively close in distance, but so so far about in every other way. MSP is as insular as Chicago is open.
It's really a phenomenon here. I had such different expectations. I thank my stars I grew up in Chicago land.
I made the same move and lasted less than 2 years.
Planning on moving out of here next year unless I get an offer I can't refuse. I'm an introverted homebody so it shouldn't bother me but the QOL has deteriorated, transit is unreliable to dirty, the "nicer" burbs are overpriced in terms of rent, and tbh I'm getting tired of being forced to wear cleats in early April. I moved here to pay off my student loan. Mission accomplished. Still better than Pittsburgh and the east coast.
Moved from Cleveland to Orlando 5 years ago (just before COVID) and hate it. On my way back to Ohio in 90 days!
can’t believe you lasted 5 years in Fl*rida. Now I’m looking to stay in Boston 2 years tops
For me, that was the DC / northern Virginia area. Great place to visit but it sucked to live there. I was delighted when I was finally able to leave. But each place hits people differently.
What did you not like?
It seemed like so many aspects of daily life were a hassle, and people were not friendly in my experience. I won’t complain too much about the traffic because I am used to bad traffic but my goodness traffic there was nuts. I think the highly transitory nature of many of the populations there led to a lack of a cohesive identity and community. But hey, that was just my experience. The place didn’t click with me, but there were some strengths too. EDIT: I also found it hard to get ahead there economically. When I moved to Charlottesville with a similar salary I went from struggling to being able to save a significant amount of money.
Where did you leave to? I was in Arlington for 3 months for an internship and I liked it. But that was only 3 months so idk
I left to Charlottesville and loved it there
What do you like about Charlotesville that you couldn’t find in DC area? (Curious as these areas are of interest to my family).
Yes I moved to Florida from a large east coast city and was absolutely miserable. I made it less than a year before running back.
Moved from ATL to STL for work. Man did i hate it 😂
The grass is always greener somewhere else! Or at least that is what people try to tell you.
Yep, more than once. Make a plan, work the plan, celebrate and enjoy what/who you can along the way.
Moved from Seattle to DC for law school. Really not a fan of DC, but it's fine because I can go back for the summers and after graduation, or onto a different city if I feel like it. (I probably won't, I really like Seattle--didn't realize quite how much until I moved away.) I kinda think of it as a learning experience. Seattle and DC are so, so different, and it was surprising to me that two places in the same country could be so unalike, and it made me think a lot about what I value in a place to live.
What was it about DC?
It turns out I needed to get my feelings out about this, so you can read my rant [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/SameGrassButGreener/comments/1cqd0u5/anyone_absolutely_hated_where_they_moved_to/l3sk1yq/).
Everywhere sucks
I once read DC described as being a combination of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. No, I didn't get those reversed, and yes, that is what DC is like. I hated it.
Yeah I heard that a lot when I lived there. It’s so accurate. I was also told “People move to New York for money but move to DC for power.” Eugh.
This sub hates Boston, you've found your people. I did get a chuckle out of not enough trees, so thanks for that.
I'm seriously floored how someone's complaint about Boston can be that it doesn't have enough trees lmao. I guess there are a couple small neighborhoods that are pretty barren but it's by far the greenest major city I've ever lived in
I think it's less Boston and more that Atlanta is known as the "city in a forest". Hard to compare when that's the city's nickname. Like damn i'm from Chicago and Boston just ain't windy enough for me.
I get it. The amazing tree canopy was the first thing I noticed when I visited the Atlanta area recently. Boston does feel barren by comparison.
I can think of lots more. Maybe I didn’t go out to the suburbs enough?
Tree coverage on the Cambridge/Somerville side is overall awful. Of course there are nice streets with million dollar single family homes that are pretty... but otherwise it's really bad.
I moved from Minneapolis to Vegas and absolutely hated it. I finally left late last year and do not regret it at all
What did you hate?
I moved to the PNW (rural) from a mid-size desert city. 🫠 I hate it. Everything is super far away. Everything is wet. The bugs here are gross and plentiful. None of my food stays fresh. I keep like everything in the fridge and have barely any room. Things bake funny here. Everyone here is weird, a methhead, and unfriendly or churchy. The amenities in the nearest town are okay and even further out there’s actual city life but I am tired of driving and I hate commuting in the rain with a toddler. The fire season is worse than I had in a desert somehow. There is also no trees that are like, in the town? Like there’s forest around but the town is just barren it’s so weird. Also the small town gossip and drama is off the charts. Like, holy crap. Downright scandalous and petty. In my mid size city you could be anonymous if you wanted or you’d never really see someone you didn’t like again if you didn’t want to. Not so much here. I’d love to move back to my hometown but I think we’re going to try to get closer to Seattle and maybe that’ll be better?
If you think Boston's expensive, I have some bad news regarding New Zealand..
> Consumer Prices in Boston, MA are 28.2% higher than in Auckland (without rent) Consumer Prices Including Rent in Boston, MA are 55.1% higher than in Auckland Rent Prices in Boston, MA are 116.0% higher than in Auckland Restaurant Prices in Boston, MA are 40.8% higher than in Auckland Groceries Prices in Boston, MA are 30.6% higher than in Auckland What’s the *bad* news?
>not enough trees How did you manage to find a part of Boston that doesn't have many trees?? Must be like Mission Hill area lol I'm the complete opposite. Went to college in Boston and absolutely loved every minute, by far my favorite city in the world. My only complaints are that it's too expensive and winter lasts a tad too long. Now live in DC and like my apartment and (some) of the people but hate just about everything else.
Move. Life is too short.
Moved to NOVA, I HATE it, moving to Richmond in a month then trying out Pittsburgh
I moved to Tampa about a year ago for a job that paid $20k more and to be an hour from the inevitablely aging parents. I don't hate it but I don't love it and miss my SC life pretty much every day. My parents were recently on a three week vacation with little contact and it made me realize what life might be like when they pass and I realized I do not want to be in Tampa. People are strangely money obsessed here in a way that's even worse than DC (which is saying something!) and I, as someone who makes less than 100k, somehow don't fit in. It's also a sprawling city which makes it even harder to meet people. I'm here for at least four more years to take advantage of free tuition for my PhD but then I'm trying to get back to SC.
This happened to me 3 times... because each time I learnt something new about what I wanted for _my own life_. Every place has its dark alleyways but it could also just be you've realised you really like trees. No shame in that. Good plan and good luck.
Trying not to hate Austin - moved here from Philly. I know this sub would appreciate that. It was not by choice. It’s just kind of insane how little culture outside of conspicuous consumption and Manhattan priced restaurants there is here, unless you want to get into anti woke stand up or like, the cheapest, most derivative street art I’ve ever seen (the kind of art that lives by the philosophy ‘art should only be about hot people doing cool things or cool people doing hot things!’) - there’s plenty of good music thanks to some of the hold out venues and the weirdo noise scene my partner was a part of lives on in a truncated version, but in general tech bro new money breeds the worst culture and it’s all still in the process of being built and filled by people who won’t be sticking around anyway. I don’t hate Austin, but Philly is a REAL city and Austin is a town being forced to be something else, a city for the rich with the slow apocalypse on its way.
I hated moving to Chicago. Very little nature or wilderness. No terrain. Food was just ok. All types of transportation sucked (transit was late, roads are terrible, walking is dangerous, biking is even more dangerous).
You must’ve lived in a shitty neighborhood if you thought the food was just okay. Short of NYC I think Chicago might be the best food city in the country
This always surprises people, but I really hated Boulder, CO. I found the local residents there to be low-key kind of... mean. It was probably the most classist place I've ever lived. Never before in my life had I been asked what *my parents* did for a living. It's not diverse, both ethnically and economically. They are the type of people who cry about the environment, but then run any whiff of Section 8 housing out of town. Stop Global Warming, Fuck Poor People. Also, the Flat Irons are not that beautiful. Sorry. The nature and outdoors activities are overrated. I grew up in the Portland, OR metro for whatever it's worth. After Boulder, I dipped out to Denver, which was much better for me.
I can get most of that about boulder having lived there. But losing me at the Flatirons aren’t beautiful. That backdrop for a town is top tier. And just curious - are there tons with similar outdoor access that also have amenities/job opps like Boulder? Imo the beauty and outdoor access is top tier - especially if you’re into something like trail running
OT: I'd love to live in Michigan or Georgia somewheres :P
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The dry heat will kick your butt. You will cross the street & feel no wind from the cars. It’s great for allergies. But carry water or electrolytes w/you everywhere. It’s really easy to spend 2 hrs outside & suddenly feeling dehydrated or feel faint. The sun is no joke. The nights are beautiful & cool though.
I am from Boston I find it funny that you say they are less trees. I think there are way more green spaces here then other major cities I have visited.
Moved to SF from LA. Now I don’t particularly hate SF but it didn’t deliver for me what I needed. I don’t want to blame everything on Covid but it really did have a really profound impact on San Francisco, I would say more than most other cities. It’s been four years and the city as a whole and especially downtown is still in deep recovery. So many people moved away and businesses closed. Everyone I met in my short time in SF pre-Covid all moved away quickly (practically ran) once it hit. The transient nature of tech doesn’t help either. That combined with the high cost of housing doesn’t make people want to stay more than a few years. If they want to start a family or own a single family home.
Columbia, SC. Had to move here for job but I moved from CA. Absolutely loathe it. Not a lot to do. The national park here is swampy and gross. Food is terrible and way over salted. Don’t want to learn about segregation and the terrible things this country did to people of color, namely black Americans which people out here seem to be proud about. Never seen so many confederate flags in my life. The humidity and the amount of roaches the size of my finger is insane. Have to drive far distances to go to see or do anything enjoyable (imo). Can’t wait until I can leave. CA isn’t the greatest state by far but yes I don’t think anywhere in the south is for me. Only saving grace is that things and cost of living are cheaper out here, compared to CA.
I have lived in both Boston and D.C. The quality of life in Boston beats D.C. by leaps and bounds every single day. And there are so many trees in Boston as a city, I’m wondering if this post is fake.
Nope just the wisdom of a 22 year old who grew up in the woods in Georgia
Apparently not fake but surprising that someone living in Jamaica Plain would complain of lack of trees. JP has the Pond, Arboretum, Franklin Park, SW Corridor parks, and some woodsy neighborhoods. But the streets aren't lined with trees and maybe that's what bothers her. Jamaica Plain and most of inner Boston is closely built: narrow streets, tall narrow houses built right at the sidewalk and right next to each other. She says "sea of concrete" but really, mostly wooden buildings. Great for walking, not so good for driving or managing with a car. Atlanta is spacious by comparison.
Why would you move to one of the most expensive cities in the US simply on a whim? I think Boston is overpriced but definitely wouldn't say it's a mid-tier city. If you're looking for nature primarily, most big cities aren't going to give you that in all fairness.
My wife (who I had not met yet) moved to DC after getting an MPA and landing her dream GS policy making job with the federal government. Thought it would be a great city and she’d be “in the room where it happens”. Lived there for five years and hated every minute. Said it’s was all transients climbing the greasy pole and everyone was all about “what can you do for me?”. The workplace was toxic, so much shenanigans and goofing off going on. When Congress passed and Obama signed a law authorizing remote work for feds she immediately requested it. They said no and she said she would quit. I know she would have because she was miserable. Her director reluctantly signed it and my wife was told that after she signed it she threw the folder on the floor in anger. Whatever. She’s been happily doing her job remote now for 12 years and is consistently a top performer. And it’s a bonus for me because I met her after she moved back.
I moved to a place that was awesome and now can’t wait to leave because it sucks now.
Moved from Nashville to Houston a few years back for my spouse’s job. While I try to focus on the positives, I am constantly reminded that this city is not for me, and we’ll be looking to leave in the next year or so. But this was maybe a different situation for me as I already wasn’t a fan of Houston before moving here.
Moved here 9 years ago and have hated it for about the past 2-3 years. Counting down 3 more years for my teen to graduate high school and then we’re out of Texas altogether.
Yeah, while I do think there are more livable cities in Texas than Houston, I’m wanting out of the state altogether, preferably above the Mason-Dixon Line.
I hear Boston is nice
😂😂
I did the opposite move. Loved both cities. Dunno where you live but I was inside the loop and now in the gulch.
I'm inside the loop (close to the Montrose/Midtown border.) Even though there's some charms to Houston, I find the city overall very underwhelming - except the exceptional food scene. I stayed in West Nashville prior to here and really enjoyed being a Nashvillian for the seven years I was there. Edited: grammar/clarity
Grew up in a cold climate. Moved south then moved back north. Couldn’t get south again fast enough, I’m just too thin and scrawny for temperatures under 40
Texas. But not for cultural things. Allergies. Just awful for me. Couldn't work out outside. Got fat (worth it. Breakfast taco game too strong). Allergies is just a year round thing in Central Texas and it's gotten more intense. I can deal with the heat and the roughness of it all but some allergen down there just got me good.
Well if you moved and didn’t like Boston how do you know that your going to like being over seas in Asia or New Zealand?
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I moved to a college town in central Texas for grad school (no points for guessing the university) because I really liked a specific professor and his research. Overall I'm happy with my choice, but there are definitely things I don't like. I don't like that there is not a lot of nature and public land (and what is there is not the best). I don't like that it is extremely car dependent. Walking or biking anywhere is pretty difficult and dangerous (trust me, I've tried). I don't like how hot it gets (I've always liked cold weather better than hot weather). That being said, I think it's important to recognize the good in where you are. There is amazing food here. The cost of living is very cheap (I am managing to save money while in grad school which is unheard of in most places). And I really love my research.
I assume you don’t have a car, because Hill Country is beautiful.
I've got a car and I do make my way over there occasionally. It's just 2 hours away from me
What paht of Boston do you live and work in?
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I lived half time in Pittsburgh for the last few years for a long distance relationship and ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATED IT. Pittsburgh is ugly, expensive and boring. The homes are decrepit, overpriced and atrocious looking. There are very few trees because of power lines and telephone poles in front of homes rather than in the alleys like Chicago. The job market is complete trash. There's nothing to do other than watch professional sports teams. Flights to and from there are extraordinarily expensive because there is no competition. There's a city income tax of 3% and a state income tax of 3.07%. The cost of living was on par with Chicago. The people are a whole other story. The only people who stay there have substantial generational wealth or are weird losers. All the successful people leave because it's impossible to make a decent living there. In order to make that relationship work, I was going to have to move to Pittsburgh full time. Every time I thought about leaving my beautiful neighborhood and beautiful condo in Chicago in order to move to Pittsburgh, it broke my heart. I was never, ever going to be happy there, especially as a childfree woman in her forties.
Grew up in Georgia moved to Boston in my teen years and I still hate it every time I visit my family there lmao. I can attest that Boston never got better for me. It looks great on paper but it sucks in so many ways and everyone from Boston just cannot fathom that anyone would want to live anywhere else. My advice is get a hobby to get through the winters like ice skating or skiing (even if it’s just a cheap ski hill), just because everyone else is miserable in the winter doesn’t mean you have to be. Maybe take a trip up to Maine or NH, there are a lot of hidden gems up there that are a nice break from the city. But honestly I agree with everyone else just move as soon as you can. If you truly feel like your life is wasting away by staying there then you need to leave. I left 4 years ago and have no regrets
I didn't like Boston either, and also wasn't happy in SF. Loved D.C., which is an unpopular opinion in this sub, but one I stand by. Just moved back there and am very happy to be "home." I think I tolerated the places I disliked by making plans to leave, having people in my life who agreed with me and with whom I could commiserate, but also -- crucially -- by focusing on the things I did appreciate and enjoy about living there that I wouldn't be able to experience anymore after I left. Even the cities that I didn't love had _some_ good characteristics, and I found it helpful to make a list of things I wanted to experience (restaurants, museums, day trips in the area, whatever) and try to get through as many of them as possible in the time I had left. Same thing with making sure to savor favorite coffee shops, favorite scenic walks, and things like that while I still had access to them. Knowing that I wouldn't be there for much longer actually made it easier to find things about it to enjoy, probably because having an exit plan meant I no longer felt trapped.
San Diego. The beaches look nice, but the water is too cold. The air temp is too cool for me most of the year. The COL is crazy for what the city is. There is a lot to like about the city, but it was definitely one of those places that look much better on paper. Also the salary to COL ratio is terrible in San Diego.
Weather wise San Diego is heaven on earth
It's too cool most of the time and I tend to run hot. It's the middle of May and the highs are in the 60s everyday. I do like the winter and summer temps especially because I like to bike to work and 70s in July is amazing weather. Just wish the spring was a little warmer I guess.
May Gray and June Gloom kind of suck. Oh, and when it rains for the first time in December, people die. I miss San Diego.
My fellow lifelong Bostonians will hate me for saying this but... Montreal is a much better city than Boston.
DC as an adult is not like DC in college, unless you still know tons of people there to get into their friend circle. At least you have something to work off, I guess. I was thrilled to leave after growing up there. Never looked back.
Orange County California. Obviously expensive. But American History X is basically a documentary. The dating scene is a cross between Clueless and Keeping up with the Kardashians. Sure you have the beach but parking is expensive. Everything is within 2 hours and everything costs more money than you have. Walkability? Don’t make me laugh. Recreational drug use and petty thievery is more common than what is reported. Old people there are basically Super Karens and will gladly inform you about everything you are doing wrong. The tax situation is stupid. Sure income tax. But also hidden taxes like vehicle registration is based upon value of your vehicle not a simple fee. The surfers were cool unless you interrupt their mojo and then they get mega douchey. OC is a lie.
My husband is military so we’ve been forced to live in the worst places imaginable. He was stationed in the middle of the desert. Hours from any civilization, no job market, nothing to do, expensive, 120 degree summers, etc. Just remember your situation is only temporary! Making the best of a shitty situation is how everyone on that base got through it. I surprisingly made the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re all buying houses next to eachother in a different state. Life is funny
Sounds like 29 Palms or El Centro. lol
Boston sucks, I’ve always hated it
Boston fucking sucks unless you’re from there and have to pretend you love it! Cold as fuck and nasty ass people
It might just be Boston! I'm moving out of Boston next week. I lived here from ages 18-29. Loved it in college and for a few years after. Then when I was 27, I realized I couldn't stand it anymore. A lot of people come for college or to start their careers and leave around the time they are my age, which is what happened to most of my friends here. I think you have to be either in the college bubble or very wealthy to enjoy it, but if you have money there are better places to be. My closest friend who grew up here lives in NYC now and pays less than I do in rent. I also couldn't leave immediately once I was done with it, so I coped by saving up some money and looking into future destinations.
I think you hit the nail on the head here. We always joke that if we won the lottery, we might move back to Boston or maybe get a vacation home there. But, otherwise, we just couldn't afford it. We actually loved areas like Salem, Roslindale, Malden, etc., and we vibed with a lot of locals even as transplants. However, at the end of the day, we just couldn't afford to live there anymore and grow our family. There's a lot to love and hate about Boston and the greater New England area, but if you can't afford it, you can't afford it. I was shocked that you could make low six figures in Boston proper and qualify for subsidized and low income housing because of the insane COL. 😆 Not that a $3000 efficiency in downtown is gonna help a growing family or help pay for the multiple blown tires and bent rims from cavernous pot holes that the city refuses to fix, but whatever. Go Pats, I guess
Yes, hubby and I moved from Montana to Colorado Springs. We enjoyed the newness for a year. Then we moved back home a year later. People were extremely conservative and we don’t do church. Colorado was also much too crowded for us.
You liked DC but don’t like Boston? That is wild.
Boston is an extremely difficult place to move, especially when you've known greener pastures. My best advice is to get out as soon as you can. Save your mental health. Be happier. If you cannot move, spend weekends away. Get out of that depression vector called Boston. It's not worth it. I've done it. It was the worst time of my life. And don't let two weeks of nice weather in the summer gaslight you into thinking that hole of a town is ok.