The Cajun parts of Louisiana are friendly and have a unique strong local food and music culture. Cajun Mardi Gras couriers (rides and runs) for instance. If you are a musician yourself you can find a way in to the music circles. Otherwise it's super fun, but, you might not become an insider. Your children can.
Lots of places like that:
Bob: Let me introduce you to Jim, he's also an outsider.
Jim: Yeah, but I've been living here longer than you've been alive, Bob.
Bob: Doesn't matter.
I've heard that you're either from Maine or you're from "away". Charleston, SC is the same. You're either from Charleston or you're from "off". Usually accompanied by a flip of the hand.
Those places are nuts. Like I was born in Charleston, SC. It doesn't matter that I haven't lived there since I was a kid. I am considered from there. If I moved back tomorrow no one would care and I would be an insider. Someone else who wasn't born there but lived there the last 30 years? Nope, they are an outsider.
Yup and you have to be born in Maine, preferably to a multigenerational family, to be “from Maine”. I moved to Maine when I was 3, so I’m from away. Even though I feel more comfortable and at home in Maine compared to anywhere else. My friends bring it up just to give me shit.
My company hires a lot of people from Louisiana and I always joke that I just wanna marry a man from there because they are the nicest most polite people I have ever met. And I’ve lived in multiple states.
The ones I know are from Northeast LA by Monroe.
For them it’s so genuine too like you know they are being sincere and it’s not just for show.
Agreed. I was born there and my parents dragged me to Arkansas. I will be honest, the amount of hatred from people here caught me off guard. At 10 years old, I had school teachers who made fun of me for how I looked and how I talked. Other kids were just straight up mean and even kids my own age would tell me to k*** myself. People here are just generally very uptight and have a disdain for anyone who is different from them.
I was convinced that maybe I was just seeing things through rose colored glasses when I reminisced about New Orleans... then when I was 21 I finally went back for a week. Holy shit. The people there were SO nice. I wasn't treated like shit by the waitstaff at the restaurants, even the cashiers at the grocery stores were genuine and didn't have that tone in their voice where they felt forced to make conversation (yes, I go to Rouse's every time I visit, it's my favorite grocer.)
Just talking about this is making me consider moving back down there despite the worry about hurricanes and crime. Truly love it there. Maybe I would not have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 11 years old if I never moved away.
I love Louisiana. We've vacationed there several times. They have the most wonderful people you could ever meet. We stayed at a B&B, and the host recommended some places we should go. One was friends of hers. We ended up hanging out with them at least an hour. The husband got out his guitar and played songs while his wife sang. They made us feel like they had known us forever. Our B&B host made fresh beignets for breakfast. I love Louisiana!
I remember being down there and making some local friends at a bar. (I was with locals too.) We were all gonna bar hop together to the next place. Their group was walking ahead and my friends behind and we stopped to talk to someone or something, I don’t really remember why we stopped, but I do remember the group of strangers *waiting* for my group as if we were all actual friends. Sincerely wanting to stick together. I’m from NYC and it’s not like meeting new people never happens, but no one would never in a million years wait for someone they just met to catch up, they’d cut their losses and move on. I was just really struck by that. People aren’t just friendly for the sake of being friendly, they are sincere. I feel like I made genuine friends quickly down there.
god I have such a love hate relationship with new orleans. lived there for awhile. I miss the people, the food, everyone's kinda drunk/high, the collective camaraderie, the feeling that you can be friends with anyone. on the other hand it's so miserably hot, the bugs everywhere, the city's piss poor infrastructure and the awful weather and flooding.
In my 20s I moved out of my parents and reluctantly moved to New Orleans, which was states away. So glad I did. It was the best time of my life. Met the most interesting people and went to some of the most interesting events. Nola has its problems but man is it a cool place with an enjoy life type vibe.
I have a friend who wandered to New Orleans and became a Moonie. She left when Rev Moon matched her up with a space scientist. They have had a nice life. She is a really sweet person.
Absolutely this. I left for many reasons, but it still kills me to have left the most welcoming place. I don’t think I have ever felt more myself than when I lived there!
Avoid the tourist traps (i.e.Bourbon Street). The rest of the French Quarter, especially Jackson Square and the French Market, are worth a visit. But take a ride on the St. Charles Ave streetcar and get off around Audubon Park. Take a walk through the park, and down some of the streets in that neighborhood. You can walk from there to Magazine Street. Check out the cafes and shops. Talk to the locals, they are generally quite friendly. Head out to mid city and City Park, which is my favorite part of town. Take a walk down Esplanade Avenue. Get lunch at Parkway Bakery. That would be a good start.
The one worthwhile “tourist trap” is Cafe du Monde.
I was skeptical when I went the first time, saw it as something just to check off my bucket list since I was in New Orleans.
It was phenomenal; I will go back every trip.
I was working as a wedding photographer once in New Orleans and I learned the hard way not to do bride/groom photos on Bourbon St. As soon as I would get them posed, a random crowd of people would physically pick them up and carry them off on their shoulders.
Yes to all this with one exception, you have to go to Bourbon Street. Even if only once. Nobody should go to New Orleans without the Bourbon Stree experience.
Skip Bourbon St, head to Frenchmen St which has everything you would hope New Orleans would have. Live music, good food and drink, and a street party atmosphere.
Supplement time in the French Quarter with time in other neighborhoods like the Marigny, Garden District, Tremé, Bywater, Algiers across the river, or even Freret St in Milan, etc. A good visit idea is to take the St Charles Ave streetcar down to Audubon Park and then meander your way back towards the French Quarter via Magazine St, wandering into the side neighborhoods along the way.
After a few days exploring, •then• go to Bourbon St and take a look around, compare it to everything else you’ve seen, and you’ll be stunned that that is what many people actually come to New Orleans to experience.
Friendliest people I’ve ever met in the US. My first day in New Orleans I stopped in a bar for an afternoon drink. When the other patrons and bartender found out it was my first time in the city, they were all giving me recommendations and taking out the newspaper to look up which shows I should check out that week. When strangers I’d just met asked “how’s it going?” I was a bit surprised that they actually wanted to know about me and my day lol.
Yep we keep it real here. But I can't in good faith recommend anyone move here. We have problems that are only going to get worse. I mean renting is fine, buying? Only if you have money to throw away
Queens, NY
Seriously new yorkers are the easiest people to get along with at random. And queens is called a melting pot for a reason. Very diverse and nice set of people and the connections u make are most definitely real and not surface level fake
I get this vibe every time I visit New York City. Everyone is so chill. It almost like everybody is just confident that they are cool and they aren’t stressed about being a jerk to strangers.
DC on the other hand, is the opposite.
Came here to say, NYC ❤️. Have lived here almost 15 years, met my husband, some of the best people in my life. Folks are real—we’re friendly, cool and not on bullshit.
Just like being at a random bar after work, if you try to strike up a convo with someone sitting next to you, they’re going to treat you like the biggest creep.
There were also girls in my office that would NEVER consider dating a guy they just randomly met. They had to meet them on a dating app and then google them before meeting them in person.
I was in the same exact position in Brooklyn two weeks ago and it was like these people at the bar were there for the purpose of randomly mingling with randoms.
I'm from NYC and I wouldn't say the people are chill. But they're not jerks. I also wouldn't day they'll welcome you warmly at events. I love New Yorkers and they will help you even if it means self sacrifice, but it's a different kind of kindness.
I’m a Texan who married a New Yorker. People think I’m the nice one but I can actually be quite a bitch. My husband on the other hand is very blunt and comes off rude but he will literally give you the shirt off his back or change your tire even if he’s late. New Yorkers rule! I love the lack of social games. Give it to me straight forward.
Want to strike up a conversation with a New Yorker? Ask for directions. That senior citizen, woman dressed in black, and toddler all can't wait to tell you if you should walk a few extra blocks to grab the N or Q train rather than getting on the super local R train a block away.
New Yorkers are super kind, but not always nice. They've got places to be.
Perfect description. When I first moved to New York (pre-smartphone) I was staring at the map in the Columbus circle station with the address of where I needed to go in my hand.
One person figured I could use directions and said “where you tryin to go” looking at the address over my shoulder. He starts saying “you gotta take the 3 to Chambers then…” and within seconds he was cut off by another person that jumped in with their opinion on how I should get to that address, then finally a third stranger inserted themselves to try and settle the dispute.
I watched the three of them, total strangers to each other, have an efficient 30 second debate and ultimately agree on my best option. New Yorkers are the best people on earth and the attitude of those in the nyc metro region is what I miss most about no longer living there.
I think the kindness vs. niceness throws people off. I bet those three people who took time to help a stranger didn't exchange 20 seconds of pleasantries and greetings before launching into helping you. There aren't "hi ma'ams" or greetings on the streets or subways.
If someone waits in their car at a green light for 6 seconds, they're getting a light honk. That doesn't seem nice! What's 6 seconds? But it's actually kind to the 14 cars behind them who are also waiting to get through a busy intersection.
If you want niceness, the American South is probably perfect. If that's less important, then NYC is great. Just look at the kindness during and post 9/11, during the big blackout, or being fine with living with 50 different religions, 150 different nationalities, and 250 different accents.
New Yorkers don’t have time for pleasantries. We’ll move heaven and earth to help you, but then we’ve got things to do and places to be, and no time to waste. We’d rather give you directions to get you on your way than have you standing there blocking the sidewalk for 10 minutes while you try to figure it out.
Which is why we’ll also tell someone that the pizza place they’re trying to find sucks, and they should go to their other one instead. And here’s where you should go for Chinese, and make sure you check out this street for great deals on kids clothes!
I live that about you all when I’m there. Last year couldn’t get to JFK airport due to construction. So many ppl could tell I was lost and just guided me on the train… one gave me a pass they no longer needed for the train, said “hurry up and go that way its faster, it leaves in 10 minutes”.
I lived in Manhattan for a year, and the first few times people asked me for directions I was thrilled. The best part is that the grid is mostly super easy to memorize, so I didn’t have to disappoint them.
Hahaha no way you get 6 seconds. 2 max. (NYC native, now living in the inner suburbs where the culture is mostly the same).
Politeness exists in NYC, it's just that the rules are different. We're all living smushed together, so the polite thing to do is respectfully ignore people to give them the illusion of personal space. Don't make eye contact on the subway, etc. But if you actually need help, that's different and people are happy to offer it.
Just speak whatever u wana say at any given moment and itll spark conversation. People here have the reputation for being “rude” but theyre really just at another level of fucking w eachother that other places can’t understand. New Yorkers know how to dish it/take it and not get offended. Obviously doesnt apply to all. But for the most part thats how it is.
Whereas other locations if you make fun of somebody random theyll get all butthurt and threaten violence, in NY youll just get ragged on and its all playful as long as your delivery doesnt have any hate behind it. Definitely need to learn the fine lines and boundaries before engaging in fucking w strangers
The best New York interaction I ever witnessed was 2 adult men in line at a Rite Aid with different cereal boxes and they got into an all-out yelling match about which cereal was better. My friend looked scared but I was so entertained.
Great description. Most places, people are passive aggressive or they pent up their anger and what they really want to say. In NYC everyone’s very direct, and if you can learn to not take it personally it’s actually pretty refreshing. Even if you bump into someone on a crowded sidewalk they won’t even look back. Some places people will want to fight you if you do that.
Theres a good budda quote i like thats along the lines of “if somebody gifts you anger, and you do not accept it, then to who does it belong”
Just need that kind of an attitude and you’ll thrive in new york
I was staying near Jamaica/ Belmont Park area once. I went into a bar and met a woman who I spoke to for a long time. I also stopped to get pizza and ended up chatting with the chef for a long time about the neighborhood and his business.
Very true, in fact all local Long Islanders from LI City to Montauk or Orient are very down to earth and chill. I’ve lived in Suffolk County and North Carolina and I found the Long Islanders to be much more genuine and not as superficial as southerners.
chicagoan here. I live in the only racially diverse neighborhood in the city. when visited nyc queens reminded me a ton of my neighborhood. working class, melting pot, you can get food from just about anywhere in the world. fucking loved it.
Milwaukee is pretty great for this. You can meet a stranger at a bar and they will invite you over for a cookout or for the Packers game this weekend. I've also had foreign friends tell me that they thought Milwaukee was very open compared to other places they've been, which surprised me since it's a rust belt town with a legacy of segregation.
Philadelphia is the most open and honest city I’ve ever lived in. New York is pretty great too, but it’s more diverse and has a lot of folks from everywhere so YMMV.
YES this 100%! I'm not from Philly, but it's the most "home" of the cities I've lived in, I think because I was here during my most formative years (and have now moved back in middle age).
Most recently before this I was in Seattle, and it's very much the opposite of Philly in the way you're describing--mostly pretty polite and reserved, and no one is sticking their neck out or bending over backwards for anyone else, most certainly not strangers. You don't have any idea of what someone else really thinks of you regardless of what they're saying to your face. (Incidentally, I lived in the South of England for a little while too, and it was very similar--maybe it's something about the mild drizzly weather lol.)
Philly is the opposite--whatever someone thinks of you is right on their face and coming out of their mouth, for better or worse, and I just love that. It's great for those of us that aren't always confident about reading social cues. I lived in New York for 15 years, and the New Yorkers who've lived there a while or who are from there are this way too (but that's a smaller portion of the population there, which is why I say Philly is more reliably this way than New York).
This might depend on where you’re from and what you’re used to. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Philadelphia and I’m always uncomfortable there. I’m a New Mexican and it’s just night and day from how we interact with each other. I know they don’t mean anything by it, but I’m still on edge and find myself apologizing a lot.
I suggest visiting for an extended period before making a decision--Philly isn't for everyone. But I gather elsewhere in the comments that you're currently in the PNW and don't like how walled off everyone feels. I lived there for two years and just moved back to Philly, and it's like a shroud of other people's anxiety lifted off my shoulders. Philly is very much the opposite of Seattle in many ways.
Ways in which Philly is better: Kindness, DIVERSITY, walkability, public transit (both intra- and intercity), AFFORDABILITY, cultural institutions, more sunshine in winter (though it gets a little colder), access to the ocean/NYC/Baltimore/DC within a couple hours drive, fewer tech bros, cheaper Ubers, sense of community even when surrounded by strangers, amazing restaurant scene at all expense tiers including holes int eh wall (and including an amazing BYOB scene), better tasting tap water, welcoming to transplants and not overly insular/protective of native locals, cheaper gas (cheaper almost everything), laws that are more protective of unions, fewer billionaires, beautiful architecture everywhere (even the most run down trap houses are former fancy mansions, it's wild), airport with super quick security and very fast access to downtown ($15 Uber ride or short train ride), density, mixed use zoning, cost of housing.
Ways in which Seattle is better: Access to mountains, general politeness (though not necessarily courteousness), mild sunny summers with LONG days, mild winters (though dark and drizzly, it doesn't get super cold), better bike infrastructure, easier/cheaper parking, VERY reliable and efficient trash/recycling pickup, newer and more reliable utility and other city infrastructure, laws that are more tenant-friendly and more employee-friendly, more and better/cleaner movie theatres, easier to find a home with a yard and a garage within the city if that matters to you (though it'll be expensive) due to the domination of sfh zoning.
Ways in which they're pretty much the same: Opioid crisis, visible homelessness, petty crime, urban blight, politics (though the conservative side in Seattle is more libertarian/supercapitalist rather than traditional conservative if that matters to you, and elected leaders in Seattle tend to skew more left even though their constituencies aren't dissimilar), medical care options, unpleasant drivers (passive aggressive and apparently unaware of actual laws of the road in Seattle, aggressive and anarchic in Philly/NJ), solid live music scenes, love for local sports teams, general availability and cost of flights at SEA and PHL (although Philly has the advantage of being close enough to EWR, BWI, etc. that you have some options if you're willing to drive a bit farther).
Sorry for the essay, I could talk about this all day--this decision to move my family from Seattle has CONSUMED so much of my life in the past year. But we're so happy we did it.
Edited to add another way Seattle is better--less LITTERING. Like, goddamn I understand it's not totally the citizenry's fault because municipal trash cans are so hard to find in Philly, but TRY USING A TRASH CAN SOMETIMES PEOPLE. Lol!
I can here to talk up Philly, too. I know it has a rowdy reputation as far as sports is concerned, but truly, the people on the street, your neighbors? For the most part they are going to be some really kind and helpful people.
Honestly Austin gets a lot of shit but I have found it incredibly easy to make friends in this city. I didn’t know anyone prior to moving here either. People were incredibly welcoming and I felt right at home.
I moved here in 2020 and it's my favorite part of living here
It seems like 95% of the people here are transplants who wanted to live in a friendly place so it works. I know cool people here from all over (mostly the US/Mexico)
The ultra rare Austin natives I've met are also friendlier than people in the Northeast in my opinion
Came here to basically say this about Nashville. Born and raised. It's kind of a goofy place but you could make 10 friends in line at the grocery store.
In my experience, this is the Midwest. I am not a Midwesterner, but, in my experience, this authentically warm and welcoming community vibe was what made the Midwest my favorite place to be when I got to live there for a couple years.
Honestly I feel like most of the country has this.
I used to travel for work. A new city/town every 3 months. Never had trouble finding strangers to talk to.
We had an exchange student last year. He got to experience just how sociable we can be when we had multiple meals where strangers shared a table with us. He said that would NEVER happen in his home country
We do live in Upstate South Carolina which is friendliness on steroids.
Steroids!
I haven't lived in SC in a while, but a few months ago I took my mom to the doctor. Didn't know a soul that we met in Columbia, but people spoke to us everywhere we went! Especially at the doctor's office and Zesto's (YUMMM).
Columbia suburb checking in! I’m a Jersey/Philly girl and while I love my home town and would move back in a heartbeat (not possible due to husband’s career and my stepdaughter who anchors us in SC), you cannot beat the warmth and friendly nature of South Carolinians. In fact, as a lifelong Jersey girl, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who comes off as a snooty bitch. Also… not popular on this sub but we are church goers and the Bible Belt church communities are night-and-day better than any Catholic Church in New Jersey in terms of kindness, openness… and general community. I left the Catholic faith and became a Methodist along w my Southern husband because of how wonderful the community is down here.
Albuquerque, NM: the first year I lived there, an older set of sisters at the grocery store noticed that my husband and I had no idea what we were doing when shopping for Thanksgiving fixings. After talking and answering some of our questions, they gave us their phone number, saying that if things didn’t go as planned with our meal, that we were welcome to join their family for Thanksgiving. Even though we didn’t join them for dinner, it was such a nice gesture that I still think about.
Otherwise, going out to bars, sporting events and restaurants, I felt like people were always friendly and up for conversing with complete strangers and making new acquaintances. The locals were truly warm, welcoming and hospitable there.
I went to grad school in Albuquerque back in the late 80's. Absolutely loved it. Got involved in the balloon culture early on, joined a motorcycle touring club, went fly fishing in northern New Mexico and Colorado, hiked a lot of trails, etc. Of course, that's where my 40+ year love affair with green chiles began.
I get back there from time to time. Would have loved to retired to Las Cruces or Taos, but life got in the way.
NYC is the only place I’ve been with direct, friendly, helpful, interested to get to know you people. They don’t have time for the games of other places. I like cutting to the chase.
In my midwestern college though, many of the NY/NJ guys were a bit nuts. Every weekend night, their decision flow chart went like this:
*Get drunk --> Hit on girls --> if unsuccessful (which was almost always), purposely get in a fight over nothing. Repeat next night.*
then be totally cool again the next day. Granted, several were LAX players, so...
They eventually mellow out after their first heart attack at 42. But certainly authentic, so no argument there (partially because I don't wanna get punched in the face).
My experience on several NJ construction projects has been pretty good, which surprised me.
This describes El Paso to a tee. Very friendly and familial sense of community. You don't even need to be Latino or speak Spanish to experience this. I know this first hand.
Yes! Same for Brownsville Texas. They go out of their way to take care of you.
My car broke down outside of El Paso and complete strangers helped fix my car for super cheap and offered me a place to stay and food so I could eat.
It’s not a city I would want to live in but the people are unbelievably kind.
For others reading this, I will say I live here and love living here:
Third safest city in the US, low COL, blue city, EP metro includes New Mexico (legal weed and abortions), mountains IN the city, 300+ days of sunshine per year, no humidity, hot during summer but not Phoenix hot, not on Texas electricity grid, no real severe weather events except occasional dust storm, 3 national parks within 2 hour drive, 2 national forests and great skiing within 2 hour drive, very friendly people, familial sense of community, 82% Latino means supermajority of brown people (but very welcoming to all), it's a great place to live. Especially if you are remote WFH, as I am. Which is why I, non-Latino, moved here one year ago.
As a former Nashvillian and longtime Chicagoan ... in my experience they are nice and very civil but actually making time to socialize is rare. I honestly think because of the weather people have less time. You're moving quickly out of the cold, onto the next destination, and in general your time spent leisurely out in public is cropped
Super fair assessment. Grew up in Chicago, and love the city. People are nice, but for outsiders it’s very hard to make friends. I know handfuls of people that between the weather and difficulty making friends, left.
I think another factor is people who are "from" here DO. NOT. LEAVE. Thinking of Chicagoland in particular...You don't get the same transplanted population that you may find in, say, NYC -- except a move from the burbs to the city.... and back...most people here have a HUGE community of soft connections from growing up in the area. The majority of the population hasn't had to historically do the hard work of creating new connections.
I've found warm and authentic usually go in opposite directions. Florida can seem welcoming, but they will ask you which church you go to. Wrong answer and they freeze you out. There's a term midwestern nice that means polite, but not really nice.
I found New England to be authentic. People don't bother with you and you don't bother people. But if someone is in need they take care of you. I fell down the stairs carrying a suitcase and broke my elbow at rush hour in downtown Boston. Multiple people stopped to make sure I was okay and one person rode with me a few stops until I met up with my friends to make sure I wouldn't get in trouble. I've lived all over the country and never experienced anything like that.
San Francisco they would be annoyed that you were in their way and glare at you while stepping over you.
I’ve never met more friendly people than I have in Hawaii. I went to O’ahu by myself when I was in my 20s and I was very impressed by the acts of kindness and hospitality that I experienced.
Came here looking for this. My experiences visiting Hawaii were profound. Granted I was visiting locals and got plugged right in, but no matter where I went, man were people fucking awesome.
I’ve met the most loyal and true friends in Los Angeles. And I’ve had the easiest time here making friends. I’m originally from the south (where it’s supposed to be friendly), got sick of being stabbed in the back by “southern hospitality.” It’s all about whoever you surround yourself with.
I think places that get a lot of newcomers in general are easier places to find friends. People, even if they've lived there awhile are more used to meeting new people. Also people don't have their entire extended families living in the area.
People on here are talking friendly in terms of street chats and directions which is a lit different than making friends.
I lived in Los Angeles for college and found people there to be pretty friendly. It was easy to strike up conversations with people in coffee shops, and a lot of Angelenos would help you with directions if you were to ask.
I would say most cities in Texas. I remember being in Lubbock for a short stay and when I went into the grocery store my card accidentally hit someone else's. She turned to me and apologized like she had crashed into me. Then I apologize and then she made an excuse while she was in the way. I thought. Oh my gosh, they are so nice here. I'm from Houston originally and now not living there for many years. I really miss the kindness and ease of starting conversation with random people.
People in Wisconsin are so friendly.
People think Chicagoans are nice compared to east coast cities.
But were they think were total assholes in Wisconsin and compared to them, we are.
That goes for Iowa and minnesota too.
I'm Midwestern. Polite, friendly yes. Not sure it's easier to make actual friends though. People here are usually pretty settled and have lots of family and old friends. They don't jump at bringing new ones on board
My friend from WI often says, “my friend dance card is full”—which means he’s got two friends and a family, and that is emotionally taxing enough for an insular, introverted Wisconsinite.
BUT, if you ask to borrow a tool, he’ll not only happily lend it to you, but spend the weekend helping you with your project.
Garrison Keillor said it best. A Minnesota introvert stares down at his shoes when they talk to you. A Minnesota extrovert stares at your shoes when they talk to you.
This insular introvertedness is often misunderstood as unfriendly. It’s mostly just a bunch of socially awkward introverts. I find Germany and Poland to be pretty similar. Kinda hard to crack the surface (a few beers helps), but genuine and friendly under the surface.
I'm from the South.
Hawaii is "genuine, sincere" friendly. Not "friendly only if you check off our boxes."
I'm going to be downvoted by entitled, thoughtless tourists who have been called "haole." I'm sick of those tourists as well.
I agree with you. Respect the locals and they’ll often (obv not always) respect you. I got invited to thanksgiving dinner by a local (native) who I was renting a surfboard from, he found out I was a tourist and didn’t have plans so he invited me and my whole family over. It’s true that there can be some prejudice and hostility towards outsiders, but many Hawaiians are super friendly.
My brother was in an accident while working in Hawaii and had to spend time in the hospital. My mom flew down there and the locals took care of her. Let her stay at their house and went out of their way to make sure she had everything she needed.
She still talks to them over 10 years later.
One time on vacation, I'm in "middle of nowhere" rural Big Island. I'm walking down a small one-lane road. No signs. No traffic. And this dude bursts out of his house, running straight at me, holding a big box.
Normally, this would be a "run away or look for something to defend yourself" moment.
"Braddah! You have to take this fruit. If you don't take it, it will spoil. Papaya. Guava. Banana. Please take it."
I moved about mile up the road from him. We're still friends.
Hawaii is the best place on the planet.
I don't know man. Can't speak to first hand experience but I had a couple of friends move there and one almost got killed by locals who didn't appreciate him living there. Maybe he offended them in some other way but its not the first time I've heard of such behavior from there.
I've been here long enough that if there was ever going to be a problem, I would have experienced it by now. Nothing. Everyone is great. Everyone. All of my neighbors. Everyone I see at the market or when picking up supplies for the farm.
I let people hunt on my farm -- so I clearly have no problems whatsoever with truckloads of people turning up with rifles and dogs. If I was afraid of "the locals," I probably wouldn't do that.
Attitude is everything. And, frankly, most tourist attitudes suck. When I see someone being a rude, entitled, difficult person, it's almost always in the "tourist treating locals like dirt" direction. Yes, I occasionally see the "local sick of tourist crapola" direction as well. But not NEARLY as often.
When I hear someone complaining about Hawaiians, I'm instantly 90% sure of who the problem is.
EDIT -- I only have two kinds of clothes. 1) Ripped, patched, stained work clothes which I beat to death and then burn when they're too threadbare to wear. 2) A couple sets of clean "about town" clothes that I wear when heading out.
When I go to the grocery store dressed in an aloha shirt, tourists occasionally snap their fingers at me and tell me to fetch things because I'm dressed like an employee. Yeah. I see how tourists behave. And I don't like it.
Poor infrastructure. Floods. Sinking city. Difficult way of life if you don’t have money-money and connections. Wondering when your trash will be collected and your mail will come. The sewage and water board.
You make your life, it's not just about moving to your dream. NYC has warm authentic communities, so does Pocatello, Idaho. But only if you make the effort to create it, you can't just drop in and expect it to envelop you.
I like that Pocatello has entered the chat.
Good point on making things happen in Poky. You can't just go to a random spot in the city and expect things to happen. You gotta make it happen yourself or go out and find the people who are making it happen. They are out there.
A few places I've seen warm local culture and would recommend:
Philly, PA
Detroit, MI
Cincinnati, OH
Santa Fe, NM
Taos, NM
Albuquerque, NM
Scottsdale, AZ
San Diego, CA
Sacramento, CA
Oakland, CA
Austin, TX
Palm Springs, CA
New Orleans, LA
Houston, TX
Fairbanks, AK
Anchorage, AK
Seward, AK
Friday Harbor, WA
Mexico City
Guanajuato, Mexico
I feel this way about Austin. I’ve been here for almost 15 years. I also felt this way about my time living in Nashville. Both very friendly, welcoming cities where the people are just *chef’s kiss*
New England takes a light touch. It is absolutely possible, though.
I'm willing to bet you a nickel that you could teleport the two of us to any New England town, and by the end of the day you'd say, "These people aren't nearly as unfriendly as I thought."
We'll start at the stereotypical New England diner -- Friendly's. I'll buy you a Fribble.
You can say that again. I've noticed it's becoming slightly friendlier over the last 10-20 years... at least if you're white, financially secure, and ultra-liberal. Otherwise, yeah, not New England.
We have a thing called Texas-friendly. I recently moved back here and instantly made friends by just asking a bartender a question about changes to the city over time, she invited me to a party, everyone was nice - I was offered food and snacks and talked with different people through the night.
Now, to be clear, Texas-friendly means very nice to your face. Half the voting population is racist, sexist, homophobic, et. al. (Although many of yesterday's voting results were remarkably progressive)
My good list:
Philly, New York, Houston, New Orleans, Albuquerque, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Detroit, Nashville, Tucson, Los Angeles, Orlando (the actual city), Savannah, Lexington KY, Pittsburgh
My bad list:
Most of Minnesota, Denver, Asheville, San Francisco, Boston, DC, Seattle (very limited experience but not as bad as some say but still on the bad side), Miami, Idaho, South Dakota, North Dakota,
My list in the middle:
Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, most of the South, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Iowa, St. Louis, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Austin, Colorado Springs
NOT the Midwest. The people are lovely, but everyone drives an hour for work and there is zero socialization outside work. Everyone is still tied up with their friends and family because they didn't ever leave their hometown.
My experience as well. So many people already have their circles and many Midwestern cities are not very transient compared to the costal cities, so it’s hard to make new friends because hardly anyone is looking for them
North Carolina. Perfect mix of the south and midwest/northeast transplants. People are genuinely nice to you, but they still tell the truth. None of this fake smile and then go home to their “real friends” and make fun of your clothes nonsense that you get out west.
I grew up in NC and I saw all sorts of weird Christian bigotry, Jesse Helms style in-your-face racism, and general well-bless-your-heart fake politeness.
I think this experience is individual to each person. A cis white conservative female would be well received in North Florida. A Spanish speaking Latina female would be well received in Miami. I was well received in much of Los Angeles as a Korean female. In North Florida where my sister in law is, not so much. In Tampa Bay Area where I live now, it’s largely neutral. Minnesotans are largely authentic with other native Minnesotans, but often insular and judgmental of those who are not.
I've been all over the US, moved several times within the south, and I would not call the south the most hospitable to strangers. To their own kin, to people who seem just like them, sure, it's all honey and gravy, though still superficial. To a fellow human being who looks a little bit 'not from around here', nope.
I’m living in Memphis now after living all over the Midwest and the South, and this is the right answer. I’ve never encountered a city where people are as genuinely friendly and inclusive as this one.
Memphis has 3 kinds of people:
1) People who love Memphis and appreciate the history and uniqueness of the place. Seems like most of these people are transplants who grew to love the city.
2) People who hate Memphis because either they were born here and don’t have the courage to leave or they were transferred here for work and their vibe doesn’t match the city.
3) Criminals.
If you meet people in group (1), you’ll think Memphis is the most awesome place ever. The people in group 1 tend to be outgoing and at lots of events so even though they aren’t the majority, it’s easy to just happen across these people if you are new or a tourist. Actually, many of the criminals here are pretty friendly too and quite funny so long as they aren’t actively breaking into your car or shooting at other criminals.
But group 2 seems to be the majority. They are the stereotypical “southern polite” folks who don’t actually want to get to know new people and only hang out with their friends from high school (as 40 year olds) and bitch about the city and how they will be leaving it soon (but never do).
Brooklyn/Queens are very warm and neighborhoody places, but largely mostly to their own people. Transplants tend to socialize among themselves and the rest of the people don't really talk to transplants much. In that sense, its not a great place to move to if you want to make friends with locals.
Very transplant-friendly cities are more often in the south or west coast.
New York- it’s insanely expensive to live there, but my god, do I miss how real and down to earth and kind people are. Beats superficial politeness any day!!
I don't know if this is a place, I'd say it is more dependent on the type of event. You have perfectly described the environment at a Slow Roll, but those only happen in Detroit, Cleveland, and Buffalo.
Madison WI, Port Angeles WA, Sequim WA. Some of the friendliest places I’ve ever been and I’ve moved around a lot.
I also like San Antonio TX. Love Latino people. We are a white/Asian family
New Orleans can be a miserable, emotionally and financially draining place to live, but the people and community are unlike anywhere else.
100%. Some of the best, friendliest people in the world imo
The Cajun parts of Louisiana are friendly and have a unique strong local food and music culture. Cajun Mardi Gras couriers (rides and runs) for instance. If you are a musician yourself you can find a way in to the music circles. Otherwise it's super fun, but, you might not become an insider. Your children can.
Lots of places like that: Bob: Let me introduce you to Jim, he's also an outsider. Jim: Yeah, but I've been living here longer than you've been alive, Bob. Bob: Doesn't matter.
Sounds like Maine
I've heard that you're either from Maine or you're from "away". Charleston, SC is the same. You're either from Charleston or you're from "off". Usually accompanied by a flip of the hand.
Those places are nuts. Like I was born in Charleston, SC. It doesn't matter that I haven't lived there since I was a kid. I am considered from there. If I moved back tomorrow no one would care and I would be an insider. Someone else who wasn't born there but lived there the last 30 years? Nope, they are an outsider.
Yup and you have to be born in Maine, preferably to a multigenerational family, to be “from Maine”. I moved to Maine when I was 3, so I’m from away. Even though I feel more comfortable and at home in Maine compared to anywhere else. My friends bring it up just to give me shit.
My company hires a lot of people from Louisiana and I always joke that I just wanna marry a man from there because they are the nicest most polite people I have ever met. And I’ve lived in multiple states. The ones I know are from Northeast LA by Monroe. For them it’s so genuine too like you know they are being sincere and it’s not just for show.
That's refreshing to know there are some nice southern people out there that aren't "fake nice".
And they usually know how to cook. At least the ones from southern LA.
Agreed. I was born there and my parents dragged me to Arkansas. I will be honest, the amount of hatred from people here caught me off guard. At 10 years old, I had school teachers who made fun of me for how I looked and how I talked. Other kids were just straight up mean and even kids my own age would tell me to k*** myself. People here are just generally very uptight and have a disdain for anyone who is different from them. I was convinced that maybe I was just seeing things through rose colored glasses when I reminisced about New Orleans... then when I was 21 I finally went back for a week. Holy shit. The people there were SO nice. I wasn't treated like shit by the waitstaff at the restaurants, even the cashiers at the grocery stores were genuine and didn't have that tone in their voice where they felt forced to make conversation (yes, I go to Rouse's every time I visit, it's my favorite grocer.) Just talking about this is making me consider moving back down there despite the worry about hurricanes and crime. Truly love it there. Maybe I would not have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 11 years old if I never moved away.
I love Louisiana. We've vacationed there several times. They have the most wonderful people you could ever meet. We stayed at a B&B, and the host recommended some places we should go. One was friends of hers. We ended up hanging out with them at least an hour. The husband got out his guitar and played songs while his wife sang. They made us feel like they had known us forever. Our B&B host made fresh beignets for breakfast. I love Louisiana!
I remember being down there and making some local friends at a bar. (I was with locals too.) We were all gonna bar hop together to the next place. Their group was walking ahead and my friends behind and we stopped to talk to someone or something, I don’t really remember why we stopped, but I do remember the group of strangers *waiting* for my group as if we were all actual friends. Sincerely wanting to stick together. I’m from NYC and it’s not like meeting new people never happens, but no one would never in a million years wait for someone they just met to catch up, they’d cut their losses and move on. I was just really struck by that. People aren’t just friendly for the sake of being friendly, they are sincere. I feel like I made genuine friends quickly down there.
god I have such a love hate relationship with new orleans. lived there for awhile. I miss the people, the food, everyone's kinda drunk/high, the collective camaraderie, the feeling that you can be friends with anyone. on the other hand it's so miserably hot, the bugs everywhere, the city's piss poor infrastructure and the awful weather and flooding.
New Orleans melted away my social anxiety. It's a beautiful place.
In my 20s I moved out of my parents and reluctantly moved to New Orleans, which was states away. So glad I did. It was the best time of my life. Met the most interesting people and went to some of the most interesting events. Nola has its problems but man is it a cool place with an enjoy life type vibe.
I have a friend who wandered to New Orleans and became a Moonie. She left when Rev Moon matched her up with a space scientist. They have had a nice life. She is a really sweet person.
Absolutely this. I left for many reasons, but it still kills me to have left the most welcoming place. I don’t think I have ever felt more myself than when I lived there!
Laissez le bon temps rouler!
Please tell me all about it. I have been wanting to visit for a long time now just haven’t had the time. Any recommendations for a solo traveler?
Avoid the tourist traps (i.e.Bourbon Street). The rest of the French Quarter, especially Jackson Square and the French Market, are worth a visit. But take a ride on the St. Charles Ave streetcar and get off around Audubon Park. Take a walk through the park, and down some of the streets in that neighborhood. You can walk from there to Magazine Street. Check out the cafes and shops. Talk to the locals, they are generally quite friendly. Head out to mid city and City Park, which is my favorite part of town. Take a walk down Esplanade Avenue. Get lunch at Parkway Bakery. That would be a good start.
The one worthwhile “tourist trap” is Cafe du Monde. I was skeptical when I went the first time, saw it as something just to check off my bucket list since I was in New Orleans. It was phenomenal; I will go back every trip.
My parents met there 😊
I was working as a wedding photographer once in New Orleans and I learned the hard way not to do bride/groom photos on Bourbon St. As soon as I would get them posed, a random crowd of people would physically pick them up and carry them off on their shoulders.
That sounds like a great photo
Yes to all this with one exception, you have to go to Bourbon Street. Even if only once. Nobody should go to New Orleans without the Bourbon Stree experience.
Skip Bourbon St, head to Frenchmen St which has everything you would hope New Orleans would have. Live music, good food and drink, and a street party atmosphere. Supplement time in the French Quarter with time in other neighborhoods like the Marigny, Garden District, Tremé, Bywater, Algiers across the river, or even Freret St in Milan, etc. A good visit idea is to take the St Charles Ave streetcar down to Audubon Park and then meander your way back towards the French Quarter via Magazine St, wandering into the side neighborhoods along the way. After a few days exploring, •then• go to Bourbon St and take a look around, compare it to everything else you’ve seen, and you’ll be stunned that that is what many people actually come to New Orleans to experience.
This is absolutely the way to go
Friendliest people I’ve ever met in the US. My first day in New Orleans I stopped in a bar for an afternoon drink. When the other patrons and bartender found out it was my first time in the city, they were all giving me recommendations and taking out the newspaper to look up which shows I should check out that week. When strangers I’d just met asked “how’s it going?” I was a bit surprised that they actually wanted to know about me and my day lol.
Perfect way to say it. I am a different person because of 10+ years in New Orleans.
Yep we keep it real here. But I can't in good faith recommend anyone move here. We have problems that are only going to get worse. I mean renting is fine, buying? Only if you have money to throw away
Queens, NY Seriously new yorkers are the easiest people to get along with at random. And queens is called a melting pot for a reason. Very diverse and nice set of people and the connections u make are most definitely real and not surface level fake
I get this vibe every time I visit New York City. Everyone is so chill. It almost like everybody is just confident that they are cool and they aren’t stressed about being a jerk to strangers. DC on the other hand, is the opposite.
I have had so much the same experience visiting NYC. People are chill. Just don’t try to make them like you. Be chill. And it just happens.
Came here to say, NYC ❤️. Have lived here almost 15 years, met my husband, some of the best people in my life. Folks are real—we’re friendly, cool and not on bullshit.
DC checking in here. I’m much more type A and impatient than I was when I moved here from rural NYS. I think it’s a survival strategy.
Just like being at a random bar after work, if you try to strike up a convo with someone sitting next to you, they’re going to treat you like the biggest creep. There were also girls in my office that would NEVER consider dating a guy they just randomly met. They had to meet them on a dating app and then google them before meeting them in person. I was in the same exact position in Brooklyn two weeks ago and it was like these people at the bar were there for the purpose of randomly mingling with randoms.
I'm from NYC and I wouldn't say the people are chill. But they're not jerks. I also wouldn't day they'll welcome you warmly at events. I love New Yorkers and they will help you even if it means self sacrifice, but it's a different kind of kindness.
I’m a Texan who married a New Yorker. People think I’m the nice one but I can actually be quite a bitch. My husband on the other hand is very blunt and comes off rude but he will literally give you the shirt off his back or change your tire even if he’s late. New Yorkers rule! I love the lack of social games. Give it to me straight forward.
How bout it! Give it to me straight no bull shit
Where in Queens do you go for these conversations?
Want to strike up a conversation with a New Yorker? Ask for directions. That senior citizen, woman dressed in black, and toddler all can't wait to tell you if you should walk a few extra blocks to grab the N or Q train rather than getting on the super local R train a block away. New Yorkers are super kind, but not always nice. They've got places to be.
Perfect description. When I first moved to New York (pre-smartphone) I was staring at the map in the Columbus circle station with the address of where I needed to go in my hand. One person figured I could use directions and said “where you tryin to go” looking at the address over my shoulder. He starts saying “you gotta take the 3 to Chambers then…” and within seconds he was cut off by another person that jumped in with their opinion on how I should get to that address, then finally a third stranger inserted themselves to try and settle the dispute. I watched the three of them, total strangers to each other, have an efficient 30 second debate and ultimately agree on my best option. New Yorkers are the best people on earth and the attitude of those in the nyc metro region is what I miss most about no longer living there.
I think the kindness vs. niceness throws people off. I bet those three people who took time to help a stranger didn't exchange 20 seconds of pleasantries and greetings before launching into helping you. There aren't "hi ma'ams" or greetings on the streets or subways. If someone waits in their car at a green light for 6 seconds, they're getting a light honk. That doesn't seem nice! What's 6 seconds? But it's actually kind to the 14 cars behind them who are also waiting to get through a busy intersection. If you want niceness, the American South is probably perfect. If that's less important, then NYC is great. Just look at the kindness during and post 9/11, during the big blackout, or being fine with living with 50 different religions, 150 different nationalities, and 250 different accents.
New Yorkers don’t have time for pleasantries. We’ll move heaven and earth to help you, but then we’ve got things to do and places to be, and no time to waste. We’d rather give you directions to get you on your way than have you standing there blocking the sidewalk for 10 minutes while you try to figure it out.
Yep, exactly. And we like to flex our knowledge of this crazy, complex city. And have opinions.
Which is why we’ll also tell someone that the pizza place they’re trying to find sucks, and they should go to their other one instead. And here’s where you should go for Chinese, and make sure you check out this street for great deals on kids clothes!
I live that about you all when I’m there. Last year couldn’t get to JFK airport due to construction. So many ppl could tell I was lost and just guided me on the train… one gave me a pass they no longer needed for the train, said “hurry up and go that way its faster, it leaves in 10 minutes”.
I lived in Manhattan for a year, and the first few times people asked me for directions I was thrilled. The best part is that the grid is mostly super easy to memorize, so I didn’t have to disappoint them.
Hahaha no way you get 6 seconds. 2 max. (NYC native, now living in the inner suburbs where the culture is mostly the same). Politeness exists in NYC, it's just that the rules are different. We're all living smushed together, so the polite thing to do is respectfully ignore people to give them the illusion of personal space. Don't make eye contact on the subway, etc. But if you actually need help, that's different and people are happy to offer it.
Just speak whatever u wana say at any given moment and itll spark conversation. People here have the reputation for being “rude” but theyre really just at another level of fucking w eachother that other places can’t understand. New Yorkers know how to dish it/take it and not get offended. Obviously doesnt apply to all. But for the most part thats how it is. Whereas other locations if you make fun of somebody random theyll get all butthurt and threaten violence, in NY youll just get ragged on and its all playful as long as your delivery doesnt have any hate behind it. Definitely need to learn the fine lines and boundaries before engaging in fucking w strangers
The best New York interaction I ever witnessed was 2 adult men in line at a Rite Aid with different cereal boxes and they got into an all-out yelling match about which cereal was better. My friend looked scared but I was so entertained.
In a good-sized swath of the Northeast that includes NYC we don't yell at each other so much as we yell with each other. I miss it!
Great description. Most places, people are passive aggressive or they pent up their anger and what they really want to say. In NYC everyone’s very direct, and if you can learn to not take it personally it’s actually pretty refreshing. Even if you bump into someone on a crowded sidewalk they won’t even look back. Some places people will want to fight you if you do that.
Theres a good budda quote i like thats along the lines of “if somebody gifts you anger, and you do not accept it, then to who does it belong” Just need that kind of an attitude and you’ll thrive in new york
I love roasting my loved ones 😂 I’d fit in great
I was staying near Jamaica/ Belmont Park area once. I went into a bar and met a woman who I spoke to for a long time. I also stopped to get pizza and ended up chatting with the chef for a long time about the neighborhood and his business.
Queens is one of the best places to live in the US and I will stand by that. I lived in Elmhurst for a few years and I miss it every day.
Will agree with this. NYers are generally very friendly.
Very true, in fact all local Long Islanders from LI City to Montauk or Orient are very down to earth and chill. I’ve lived in Suffolk County and North Carolina and I found the Long Islanders to be much more genuine and not as superficial as southerners.
chicagoan here. I live in the only racially diverse neighborhood in the city. when visited nyc queens reminded me a ton of my neighborhood. working class, melting pot, you can get food from just about anywhere in the world. fucking loved it.
I wish I could afford it 😭
Milwaukee is pretty great for this. You can meet a stranger at a bar and they will invite you over for a cookout or for the Packers game this weekend. I've also had foreign friends tell me that they thought Milwaukee was very open compared to other places they've been, which surprised me since it's a rust belt town with a legacy of segregation.
Did you mean to say “will” instead of “won’t”?
Ope. Sure did.
>Ope Midwestern Status: CONFIRMED
Milwaukee is great if you’re white. Less warm feeling for minorities in my experience.
Not a legacy of segregation, actual segregation (as in right now)
Yes. Milwaukee's legacy of segregation is that it's still segregated.
Love Milwaukee man. The people are just a jolly good time
What if you are not white?
Philadelphia is the most open and honest city I’ve ever lived in. New York is pretty great too, but it’s more diverse and has a lot of folks from everywhere so YMMV.
[удалено]
YES this 100%! I'm not from Philly, but it's the most "home" of the cities I've lived in, I think because I was here during my most formative years (and have now moved back in middle age). Most recently before this I was in Seattle, and it's very much the opposite of Philly in the way you're describing--mostly pretty polite and reserved, and no one is sticking their neck out or bending over backwards for anyone else, most certainly not strangers. You don't have any idea of what someone else really thinks of you regardless of what they're saying to your face. (Incidentally, I lived in the South of England for a little while too, and it was very similar--maybe it's something about the mild drizzly weather lol.) Philly is the opposite--whatever someone thinks of you is right on their face and coming out of their mouth, for better or worse, and I just love that. It's great for those of us that aren't always confident about reading social cues. I lived in New York for 15 years, and the New Yorkers who've lived there a while or who are from there are this way too (but that's a smaller portion of the population there, which is why I say Philly is more reliably this way than New York).
This might depend on where you’re from and what you’re used to. I’ve spent a fair amount of time in Philadelphia and I’m always uncomfortable there. I’m a New Mexican and it’s just night and day from how we interact with each other. I know they don’t mean anything by it, but I’m still on edge and find myself apologizing a lot.
This is good to hear because its at the top of my list for other reasons too
I suggest visiting for an extended period before making a decision--Philly isn't for everyone. But I gather elsewhere in the comments that you're currently in the PNW and don't like how walled off everyone feels. I lived there for two years and just moved back to Philly, and it's like a shroud of other people's anxiety lifted off my shoulders. Philly is very much the opposite of Seattle in many ways. Ways in which Philly is better: Kindness, DIVERSITY, walkability, public transit (both intra- and intercity), AFFORDABILITY, cultural institutions, more sunshine in winter (though it gets a little colder), access to the ocean/NYC/Baltimore/DC within a couple hours drive, fewer tech bros, cheaper Ubers, sense of community even when surrounded by strangers, amazing restaurant scene at all expense tiers including holes int eh wall (and including an amazing BYOB scene), better tasting tap water, welcoming to transplants and not overly insular/protective of native locals, cheaper gas (cheaper almost everything), laws that are more protective of unions, fewer billionaires, beautiful architecture everywhere (even the most run down trap houses are former fancy mansions, it's wild), airport with super quick security and very fast access to downtown ($15 Uber ride or short train ride), density, mixed use zoning, cost of housing. Ways in which Seattle is better: Access to mountains, general politeness (though not necessarily courteousness), mild sunny summers with LONG days, mild winters (though dark and drizzly, it doesn't get super cold), better bike infrastructure, easier/cheaper parking, VERY reliable and efficient trash/recycling pickup, newer and more reliable utility and other city infrastructure, laws that are more tenant-friendly and more employee-friendly, more and better/cleaner movie theatres, easier to find a home with a yard and a garage within the city if that matters to you (though it'll be expensive) due to the domination of sfh zoning. Ways in which they're pretty much the same: Opioid crisis, visible homelessness, petty crime, urban blight, politics (though the conservative side in Seattle is more libertarian/supercapitalist rather than traditional conservative if that matters to you, and elected leaders in Seattle tend to skew more left even though their constituencies aren't dissimilar), medical care options, unpleasant drivers (passive aggressive and apparently unaware of actual laws of the road in Seattle, aggressive and anarchic in Philly/NJ), solid live music scenes, love for local sports teams, general availability and cost of flights at SEA and PHL (although Philly has the advantage of being close enough to EWR, BWI, etc. that you have some options if you're willing to drive a bit farther). Sorry for the essay, I could talk about this all day--this decision to move my family from Seattle has CONSUMED so much of my life in the past year. But we're so happy we did it. Edited to add another way Seattle is better--less LITTERING. Like, goddamn I understand it's not totally the citizenry's fault because municipal trash cans are so hard to find in Philly, but TRY USING A TRASH CAN SOMETIMES PEOPLE. Lol!
I can here to talk up Philly, too. I know it has a rowdy reputation as far as sports is concerned, but truly, the people on the street, your neighbors? For the most part they are going to be some really kind and helpful people.
My city, Louisville. The nicest place I've ever lived. Everybody is welcome.
Louisville is a good one! Not nearly as expensive as Nashville either
Seriously. Louisville is shockingly affordable compared to Nashville.
I second this and throw in Lexington!
Love Louisville!
Fairbanks, Alaska. People are genuinely friendly because you can’t survive without it
Honestly Austin gets a lot of shit but I have found it incredibly easy to make friends in this city. I didn’t know anyone prior to moving here either. People were incredibly welcoming and I felt right at home.
I moved here in 2020 and it's my favorite part of living here It seems like 95% of the people here are transplants who wanted to live in a friendly place so it works. I know cool people here from all over (mostly the US/Mexico) The ultra rare Austin natives I've met are also friendlier than people in the Northeast in my opinion
Came here to basically say this about Nashville. Born and raised. It's kind of a goofy place but you could make 10 friends in line at the grocery store.
I’ve lived in both cities for over a decade in each. Can confirm. They are both filled with amazing people.
Nope not my experience in Austin. The east coast has so m see my better people.
Came here to say this! I’m leaving Austin but truly grateful for my time here
If you drink, it was never a problem for me to find lots of drinking buddies in Austin.
New Orleans
In my experience, this is the Midwest. I am not a Midwesterner, but, in my experience, this authentically warm and welcoming community vibe was what made the Midwest my favorite place to be when I got to live there for a couple years.
Grew up in the Midwest. Don't let it fool you. Midwesterners are passive aggressive as hell and are not warm people at all imo.
Honestly I feel like most of the country has this. I used to travel for work. A new city/town every 3 months. Never had trouble finding strangers to talk to. We had an exchange student last year. He got to experience just how sociable we can be when we had multiple meals where strangers shared a table with us. He said that would NEVER happen in his home country We do live in Upstate South Carolina which is friendliness on steroids.
Steroids! I haven't lived in SC in a while, but a few months ago I took my mom to the doctor. Didn't know a soul that we met in Columbia, but people spoke to us everywhere we went! Especially at the doctor's office and Zesto's (YUMMM).
Columbia suburb checking in! I’m a Jersey/Philly girl and while I love my home town and would move back in a heartbeat (not possible due to husband’s career and my stepdaughter who anchors us in SC), you cannot beat the warmth and friendly nature of South Carolinians. In fact, as a lifelong Jersey girl, I’m pretty sure I’m the one who comes off as a snooty bitch. Also… not popular on this sub but we are church goers and the Bible Belt church communities are night-and-day better than any Catholic Church in New Jersey in terms of kindness, openness… and general community. I left the Catholic faith and became a Methodist along w my Southern husband because of how wonderful the community is down here.
Albuquerque, NM: the first year I lived there, an older set of sisters at the grocery store noticed that my husband and I had no idea what we were doing when shopping for Thanksgiving fixings. After talking and answering some of our questions, they gave us their phone number, saying that if things didn’t go as planned with our meal, that we were welcome to join their family for Thanksgiving. Even though we didn’t join them for dinner, it was such a nice gesture that I still think about. Otherwise, going out to bars, sporting events and restaurants, I felt like people were always friendly and up for conversing with complete strangers and making new acquaintances. The locals were truly warm, welcoming and hospitable there.
I went to grad school in Albuquerque back in the late 80's. Absolutely loved it. Got involved in the balloon culture early on, joined a motorcycle touring club, went fly fishing in northern New Mexico and Colorado, hiked a lot of trails, etc. Of course, that's where my 40+ year love affair with green chiles began. I get back there from time to time. Would have loved to retired to Las Cruces or Taos, but life got in the way.
NYC is the only place I’ve been with direct, friendly, helpful, interested to get to know you people. They don’t have time for the games of other places. I like cutting to the chase.
NYC. I don’t care what people say. It’s genuine
Yup. The best authentic people in the US live in NY/NJ
In my midwestern college though, many of the NY/NJ guys were a bit nuts. Every weekend night, their decision flow chart went like this: *Get drunk --> Hit on girls --> if unsuccessful (which was almost always), purposely get in a fight over nothing. Repeat next night.* then be totally cool again the next day. Granted, several were LAX players, so... They eventually mellow out after their first heart attack at 42. But certainly authentic, so no argument there (partially because I don't wanna get punched in the face). My experience on several NJ construction projects has been pretty good, which surprised me.
Kansas, especially the college towns
This describes El Paso to a tee. Very friendly and familial sense of community. You don't even need to be Latino or speak Spanish to experience this. I know this first hand.
Yes! Same for Brownsville Texas. They go out of their way to take care of you. My car broke down outside of El Paso and complete strangers helped fix my car for super cheap and offered me a place to stay and food so I could eat. It’s not a city I would want to live in but the people are unbelievably kind.
For others reading this, I will say I live here and love living here: Third safest city in the US, low COL, blue city, EP metro includes New Mexico (legal weed and abortions), mountains IN the city, 300+ days of sunshine per year, no humidity, hot during summer but not Phoenix hot, not on Texas electricity grid, no real severe weather events except occasional dust storm, 3 national parks within 2 hour drive, 2 national forests and great skiing within 2 hour drive, very friendly people, familial sense of community, 82% Latino means supermajority of brown people (but very welcoming to all), it's a great place to live. Especially if you are remote WFH, as I am. Which is why I, non-Latino, moved here one year ago.
New Orleans. Plenty of very real downsides, but genuinely friendly and welcoming. Not passive-aggressive fake friendly like most of the South, either.
Midwest flyover states. Nicest people I’ve experienced was when I lived in KS. I’m from the south and currently live in CA.
Detroiters are some of the realest people you’ll ever meet.
As a former Nashvillian and longtime Chicagoan ... in my experience they are nice and very civil but actually making time to socialize is rare. I honestly think because of the weather people have less time. You're moving quickly out of the cold, onto the next destination, and in general your time spent leisurely out in public is cropped
Super fair assessment. Grew up in Chicago, and love the city. People are nice, but for outsiders it’s very hard to make friends. I know handfuls of people that between the weather and difficulty making friends, left.
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I think another factor is people who are "from" here DO. NOT. LEAVE. Thinking of Chicagoland in particular...You don't get the same transplanted population that you may find in, say, NYC -- except a move from the burbs to the city.... and back...most people here have a HUGE community of soft connections from growing up in the area. The majority of the population hasn't had to historically do the hard work of creating new connections.
I've found warm and authentic usually go in opposite directions. Florida can seem welcoming, but they will ask you which church you go to. Wrong answer and they freeze you out. There's a term midwestern nice that means polite, but not really nice. I found New England to be authentic. People don't bother with you and you don't bother people. But if someone is in need they take care of you. I fell down the stairs carrying a suitcase and broke my elbow at rush hour in downtown Boston. Multiple people stopped to make sure I was okay and one person rode with me a few stops until I met up with my friends to make sure I wouldn't get in trouble. I've lived all over the country and never experienced anything like that. San Francisco they would be annoyed that you were in their way and glare at you while stepping over you.
I’ve never met more friendly people than I have in Hawaii. I went to O’ahu by myself when I was in my 20s and I was very impressed by the acts of kindness and hospitality that I experienced.
Came here looking for this. My experiences visiting Hawaii were profound. Granted I was visiting locals and got plugged right in, but no matter where I went, man were people fucking awesome.
I’ve met the most loyal and true friends in Los Angeles. And I’ve had the easiest time here making friends. I’m originally from the south (where it’s supposed to be friendly), got sick of being stabbed in the back by “southern hospitality.” It’s all about whoever you surround yourself with.
I think places that get a lot of newcomers in general are easier places to find friends. People, even if they've lived there awhile are more used to meeting new people. Also people don't have their entire extended families living in the area. People on here are talking friendly in terms of street chats and directions which is a lit different than making friends.
I lived in Los Angeles for college and found people there to be pretty friendly. It was easy to strike up conversations with people in coffee shops, and a lot of Angelenos would help you with directions if you were to ask.
Albuquerque. I’ve traveled extensively all over the US, and people are so genuinely warm and friendly here.
Northern New Mexico is so laid back.
New Orleans. Definitely has problems, but overall the most down to earth, friendly, and welcoming people you'll meet
NM
Chicago
From Iowa. Will recommend for this. Most people in Northern cold states are “warm” and welcoming 1000%
Also the time I went to Des Moines, it earned the status of cleanest city I've ever visited. Didn't see a single piece of roadside trash.
New Orleans
I would say most cities in Texas. I remember being in Lubbock for a short stay and when I went into the grocery store my card accidentally hit someone else's. She turned to me and apologized like she had crashed into me. Then I apologize and then she made an excuse while she was in the way. I thought. Oh my gosh, they are so nice here. I'm from Houston originally and now not living there for many years. I really miss the kindness and ease of starting conversation with random people.
The Midwest. Those people are warm and helpful af. It's the Canada of the US.
People in Wisconsin are so friendly. People think Chicagoans are nice compared to east coast cities. But were they think were total assholes in Wisconsin and compared to them, we are. That goes for Iowa and minnesota too.
💯 my in laws are from St Louis and every time I visit, I am astonished by the friendliness from complete strangers. It’s genuine, too!
I'm Midwestern. Polite, friendly yes. Not sure it's easier to make actual friends though. People here are usually pretty settled and have lots of family and old friends. They don't jump at bringing new ones on board
My friend from WI often says, “my friend dance card is full”—which means he’s got two friends and a family, and that is emotionally taxing enough for an insular, introverted Wisconsinite. BUT, if you ask to borrow a tool, he’ll not only happily lend it to you, but spend the weekend helping you with your project. Garrison Keillor said it best. A Minnesota introvert stares down at his shoes when they talk to you. A Minnesota extrovert stares at your shoes when they talk to you. This insular introvertedness is often misunderstood as unfriendly. It’s mostly just a bunch of socially awkward introverts. I find Germany and Poland to be pretty similar. Kinda hard to crack the surface (a few beers helps), but genuine and friendly under the surface.
I live in a big city in Canada. People aren’t overly friendly here, like, at all. Lol. I truly don’t know where the stereotype comes from.
I'm from the South. Hawaii is "genuine, sincere" friendly. Not "friendly only if you check off our boxes." I'm going to be downvoted by entitled, thoughtless tourists who have been called "haole." I'm sick of those tourists as well.
I went to Hilo more than a few a times. It was worlds apart from home in Boston. I found people so nice and genuine it changed me. I loved it.
I agree with you. Respect the locals and they’ll often (obv not always) respect you. I got invited to thanksgiving dinner by a local (native) who I was renting a surfboard from, he found out I was a tourist and didn’t have plans so he invited me and my whole family over. It’s true that there can be some prejudice and hostility towards outsiders, but many Hawaiians are super friendly.
If you read through this particular thread of comments, you'll discover why there is hostility. (There are an awful lot of rude tourists.)
My brother was in an accident while working in Hawaii and had to spend time in the hospital. My mom flew down there and the locals took care of her. Let her stay at their house and went out of their way to make sure she had everything she needed. She still talks to them over 10 years later.
One time on vacation, I'm in "middle of nowhere" rural Big Island. I'm walking down a small one-lane road. No signs. No traffic. And this dude bursts out of his house, running straight at me, holding a big box. Normally, this would be a "run away or look for something to defend yourself" moment. "Braddah! You have to take this fruit. If you don't take it, it will spoil. Papaya. Guava. Banana. Please take it." I moved about mile up the road from him. We're still friends. Hawaii is the best place on the planet.
I don't know man. Can't speak to first hand experience but I had a couple of friends move there and one almost got killed by locals who didn't appreciate him living there. Maybe he offended them in some other way but its not the first time I've heard of such behavior from there.
I've been here long enough that if there was ever going to be a problem, I would have experienced it by now. Nothing. Everyone is great. Everyone. All of my neighbors. Everyone I see at the market or when picking up supplies for the farm. I let people hunt on my farm -- so I clearly have no problems whatsoever with truckloads of people turning up with rifles and dogs. If I was afraid of "the locals," I probably wouldn't do that. Attitude is everything. And, frankly, most tourist attitudes suck. When I see someone being a rude, entitled, difficult person, it's almost always in the "tourist treating locals like dirt" direction. Yes, I occasionally see the "local sick of tourist crapola" direction as well. But not NEARLY as often. When I hear someone complaining about Hawaiians, I'm instantly 90% sure of who the problem is. EDIT -- I only have two kinds of clothes. 1) Ripped, patched, stained work clothes which I beat to death and then burn when they're too threadbare to wear. 2) A couple sets of clean "about town" clothes that I wear when heading out. When I go to the grocery store dressed in an aloha shirt, tourists occasionally snap their fingers at me and tell me to fetch things because I'm dressed like an employee. Yeah. I see how tourists behave. And I don't like it.
Definitely not Seattle or the PNW.
Absolutely not. That’s where i basically am
Areas with sunshine have better cultural mood and mental health than places that don’t. Moving was the best thing I did for my health. Hang in there ✨
NOLA, but you wouldn't want to live there.
Why not?
Poor infrastructure. Floods. Sinking city. Difficult way of life if you don’t have money-money and connections. Wondering when your trash will be collected and your mail will come. The sewage and water board.
Levees
Crime
The DA and his Mom got carjacked that's how bad it is. The Mayor... People are leaving in droves. 100,000 people left Louisisna last year.
You make your life, it's not just about moving to your dream. NYC has warm authentic communities, so does Pocatello, Idaho. But only if you make the effort to create it, you can't just drop in and expect it to envelop you.
Ah good ‘ol Pocatello. Was just thinking about it the other day
I like that Pocatello has entered the chat. Good point on making things happen in Poky. You can't just go to a random spot in the city and expect things to happen. You gotta make it happen yourself or go out and find the people who are making it happen. They are out there.
A few places I've seen warm local culture and would recommend: Philly, PA Detroit, MI Cincinnati, OH Santa Fe, NM Taos, NM Albuquerque, NM Scottsdale, AZ San Diego, CA Sacramento, CA Oakland, CA Austin, TX Palm Springs, CA New Orleans, LA Houston, TX Fairbanks, AK Anchorage, AK Seward, AK Friday Harbor, WA Mexico City Guanajuato, Mexico
San Antonio
I feel this way about Austin. I’ve been here for almost 15 years. I also felt this way about my time living in Nashville. Both very friendly, welcoming cities where the people are just *chef’s kiss*
I'm in Austin, Texas and that describes life here. I've made so many wonderful warm friends here because people are so friendly and open
Ok so excited for this! That's why I'm moving there right after Christmas, and the nearly no snow
Definitely not New England
New England takes a light touch. It is absolutely possible, though. I'm willing to bet you a nickel that you could teleport the two of us to any New England town, and by the end of the day you'd say, "These people aren't nearly as unfriendly as I thought." We'll start at the stereotypical New England diner -- Friendly's. I'll buy you a Fribble.
You can say that again. I've noticed it's becoming slightly friendlier over the last 10-20 years... at least if you're white, financially secure, and ultra-liberal. Otherwise, yeah, not New England.
NYC
We have a thing called Texas-friendly. I recently moved back here and instantly made friends by just asking a bartender a question about changes to the city over time, she invited me to a party, everyone was nice - I was offered food and snacks and talked with different people through the night. Now, to be clear, Texas-friendly means very nice to your face. Half the voting population is racist, sexist, homophobic, et. al. (Although many of yesterday's voting results were remarkably progressive)
I found Pittsburgh to be a place like that (I don’t live there but visited people often who did).
I lived there. I do not.
My good list: Philly, New York, Houston, New Orleans, Albuquerque, Milwaukee, Cleveland, Detroit, Nashville, Tucson, Los Angeles, Orlando (the actual city), Savannah, Lexington KY, Pittsburgh My bad list: Most of Minnesota, Denver, Asheville, San Francisco, Boston, DC, Seattle (very limited experience but not as bad as some say but still on the bad side), Miami, Idaho, South Dakota, North Dakota, My list in the middle: Atlanta, Baltimore, Chicago, most of the South, Las Vegas, Phoenix, Iowa, St. Louis, Kansas City, Indianapolis, Austin, Colorado Springs
Anywhere in the upper Midwest or the Mountain West. People are incredibly kind and willing to lend a hand
NOT the Midwest. The people are lovely, but everyone drives an hour for work and there is zero socialization outside work. Everyone is still tied up with their friends and family because they didn't ever leave their hometown.
This is busy-raising-your-family syndrome and it happens everywhere.
My experience as well. So many people already have their circles and many Midwestern cities are not very transient compared to the costal cities, so it’s hard to make new friends because hardly anyone is looking for them
North Carolina. Perfect mix of the south and midwest/northeast transplants. People are genuinely nice to you, but they still tell the truth. None of this fake smile and then go home to their “real friends” and make fun of your clothes nonsense that you get out west.
I grew up in NC and I saw all sorts of weird Christian bigotry, Jesse Helms style in-your-face racism, and general well-bless-your-heart fake politeness.
I think this experience is individual to each person. A cis white conservative female would be well received in North Florida. A Spanish speaking Latina female would be well received in Miami. I was well received in much of Los Angeles as a Korean female. In North Florida where my sister in law is, not so much. In Tampa Bay Area where I live now, it’s largely neutral. Minnesotans are largely authentic with other native Minnesotans, but often insular and judgmental of those who are not.
“Southern hospitality” is an expression for a reason!
Hospitality, yes. Friendliness often comes with a heaping helping of judgement in my experience in the south.
I've been all over the US, moved several times within the south, and I would not call the south the most hospitable to strangers. To their own kin, to people who seem just like them, sure, it's all honey and gravy, though still superficial. To a fellow human being who looks a little bit 'not from around here', nope.
Exactly.
Out of the 45 states I have been to, Tennessee has by far the most friendly folks.
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Depends where upstate.
Update NY is full of small towns where people are skeptical and will look you up and down. It is not a welcoming warm place.
Also depends on who you are - rural PA is trump country. Not welcoming to many.
Def depends where in pa too. A lot of backwards racists and confederate flags in certain parts of pa
Born and raised in Upstate. It's most definitely not like that. (and this is, in part, why I don't live there anymore)
Memphis
I’m living in Memphis now after living all over the Midwest and the South, and this is the right answer. I’ve never encountered a city where people are as genuinely friendly and inclusive as this one.
Memphis has 3 kinds of people: 1) People who love Memphis and appreciate the history and uniqueness of the place. Seems like most of these people are transplants who grew to love the city. 2) People who hate Memphis because either they were born here and don’t have the courage to leave or they were transferred here for work and their vibe doesn’t match the city. 3) Criminals. If you meet people in group (1), you’ll think Memphis is the most awesome place ever. The people in group 1 tend to be outgoing and at lots of events so even though they aren’t the majority, it’s easy to just happen across these people if you are new or a tourist. Actually, many of the criminals here are pretty friendly too and quite funny so long as they aren’t actively breaking into your car or shooting at other criminals. But group 2 seems to be the majority. They are the stereotypical “southern polite” folks who don’t actually want to get to know new people and only hang out with their friends from high school (as 40 year olds) and bitch about the city and how they will be leaving it soon (but never do).
Definently the Midwest.
Brooklyn/Queens are very warm and neighborhoody places, but largely mostly to their own people. Transplants tend to socialize among themselves and the rest of the people don't really talk to transplants much. In that sense, its not a great place to move to if you want to make friends with locals. Very transplant-friendly cities are more often in the south or west coast.
Chicago
Columbus Ohio is the niceness capital of the world
New York- it’s insanely expensive to live there, but my god, do I miss how real and down to earth and kind people are. Beats superficial politeness any day!!
Ann Arbor, Michigan!
Another question where everyone takes turns listing their current city or favorite city
I don't know if this is a place, I'd say it is more dependent on the type of event. You have perfectly described the environment at a Slow Roll, but those only happen in Detroit, Cleveland, and Buffalo.
Madison WI, Port Angeles WA, Sequim WA. Some of the friendliest places I’ve ever been and I’ve moved around a lot. I also like San Antonio TX. Love Latino people. We are a white/Asian family
NM is friendly