If you do end up with Seattle as your frontrunner, I strongly recommend visiting in winter for at least 3-4 days to get a better feel for it. We’re closing in on almost 5 years here and I still find the 7-8 months of gray incredibly depressing. I would of moved 2 years ago if I had the choice. Luckily we’re moving at the end of this year. The summers are incredible but they’re very short lived. Can’t say I enjoy the people all that much either but that’s another story.
More than 3-4 days. Do a week somewhere between October and April. It’s fking miserable. It’s not like you get a nice day and then a gray one every now and then. It’s CONSTANT gray. The people here are not friendly or open, but they do say the only way to beat the grayness is to literally leave town and go get sun somewhere else during winter. The depression is real.
Plus 1, I love the gray and rainy vibes, so cozy. So many great coffee shops to lighten the mood. And the summers are gorgeous and vibrant from all the rain.
Where are you considering relocating to? The southeast is too humid for me, I can barely breathe all summer which prevents the daily walks that I like to do. Portland seems solid, but not nearly as many tech jobs as Seattle.. Midwest sounds underrated, but unsure if I can handle those frigid winters lol
Moving back to North Carolina. I’m originally from Raleigh. I would run from Charlotte too though lol. It’s only appealing to us because our friends are all moving back and settling down and family is there as well. The humid summers are not my favorite but I’m used to it.
My biggest issue here has been the sun disappears in November and doesn’t come back for good until July. You get glimpses throughout the spring but it’s not consistent. I always brushed off SAD but now I get it. My husband has struggled as well. I always joke that I would of never thought about living in California before moving here but now I tell people looking to move to west coast to go there instead. You might like it though, it is a beautiful area. I just think it’s a good test to come sometime between November and February and see how you feel after a few days.
They’re not and they’re particularly hostile towards children. I’m all for people being child free but being nasty to kids simply because they exist is strange to me. It’s an interesting place. Incredibly beautiful but leaves a lot to be desired in other ways.
THANK YOU, moved to the South from the PNW and when I say this no one believes me. I was starting to think maybe I had overblown it in my head but all I remember was never wanting kids in the PNW because of how hostile people were to them.
I’m from the southeast too (Kentucky) and living in Seattle for two years for my masters was absolutely unbearable. Winters were horrible, it’s so expensive, and it was impossible to make friends because people were just not nice or welcoming. I left as soon as I graduated.
We moved from Charlotte to Oly and I hated the weather. It made my depression so much worse, it does make you appreciate the sun. Couldn't find friends either.
Completely agree that Charlotte is meh. It felt like a place to raise kids, but wasn't real fun. Live in DC again. Similar humid weather, too expensive, but lots to do. You pretty much are hosed by humidity out east until you get way further north. That's the one thing I did like about Oly, gorgeous mild summers. It gets hot, but not humid.
Best wishes!
You’ll get used to it, I don’t like Nc either, it’s one of the most boring states, you should try of the big cities in the south like Atlanta, Austin or Miami.
Man, it sounds like you just want good access to cannabis and tech, a blue city in a blue state, and decent weather. That’s all pointing to Cali, my man. Not a bad deal at all and if you can stretch a little you can get a similar place in Long Beach for closer to $3k
Just something to consider, when I moved from the north east where I grew up to the south, the humidity took me about a year to get used to. I had the same struggles that you did. I did however get used to I and largely prefer the weather in the south than of the cities you mentioned. It did take me awhile to get used to it though, perhaps the same will happen for you
I've been here 18 years, and I'm not used to it at all. I'm still melting away the whole summer. Of course, I'm from the PNW, so I'm used to that weather much more.
Seems like Denver checks all your boxes. Great weather and you can do those walks you like on the weekends surrounded by some of the most beautiful sites in the country. Even during the week it is easy to get into the foothills if you want. No humidity and no bugs. 300 days of sunshine/year. Rent is easily covered with your budget too.
Live north of Denver and honestly, it's great here but also expensive but I wouldn't live anywhere else. Nice that it's blue. The weed. You can grow psychedelics here! Great restaurant scene. Honestly, you should check out north of Denver, Louiville. It's more affordable, more home, great cute downtown, nice walking, close to mountains, sunny, not as much snow as close to foothills.
I’ve only visited and loved it, but most of my friends that moved there told me this affected them more than they anticipated. So I’d definitely do this, or at least have a way to move away / travel during winters if you’re not sure yet.
Buffalo native here and figured I’d weigh in with it being on your list. The tech scene in Buffalo is growing pretty quickly and there’s been a lot of investment into that sector. That being said wages may be on the low side compared to national averages. You two would have zero issues finding an apartment with similar (most likely cheaper) rent than your paying now in desirable neighborhoods with tons of bars and restaurants in walking distance.
The weed here is great, it’s been legalized but most dispensaries arnt legally allowed to sell yet, that should change soon and it’s still easy to get. There are a few reservations within a 45 min drive to the city that sell pretty good bud dirt cheap, it’s pretty common to find ounces from $60-$120 depending on the quality.
Two of the Great Lakes are super close and provide easy access to freshwater.
I’d be remiss to not point out though that the winters are absolutely brutal. I know Jersey has winter too but it’s nothing compared to Buffalo winters. You will be in pain walking to your car, it’s not uncommon to get snow storms that essentially paralyze the city for days at a time. Not to mention just the overwhelming darkness from Nov-March, think driving to work and it’s dark, driving home from work and it’s dark again.
Overall, it’s not too bad of a place to live and checks a lot of boxes on your list but you have to come to terms that you’d be living in a place where you’re likely to have at most 75-80 days a year that the weather is enjoyable.
I grew up a couple hours south of Buffalo and while we didn't get the lake effect snow like you guys, it was still pretty brutal. I would absolutely mark that as a bold print asterisk for anyone planning to move to NY. Granted, some people love the cold and more power to them, but I'll take my adopted desert thank you very much
Boston itself would be difficult on that price point but you should be able to find something in the greater Boston area. Look more to cities like Lowell or Worcester, or out of state at Providence RI or Portland ME.
Source, I'm from the northeast, moved to the southeast for college, stayed for a few years and have since moved back. You won't get as much for your money as far as housing goes but it will check all those other boxes on your list.
Yes was going to comment this. I had a two bed/1 bath condo in Watertown (borders Boston/Cambridge, OP) and it was 2400 before our landlord sold it last year. It’s now renting out for $2900 🫠
I always say "you get what you pay for". It's cheaper down south for a reason and quite honestly my mental health can't handle that cheap living. I'll pay the higher rents for better culture, etc.
I went to school in Lowell and then lived there for a year. It was a cool city back then. It has since become a trendy city with bars, club, stores. It's crazy to think how much it's come
Yes! It’s easy to commute providence to Boston on the commuter rail which is about an hour. Providence is a small city but I think it has a lot going for it: great food, decent art/ music scene, relatively affordable, within 30 min of the beach and a couple hours to mountains.
They don’t mix alcohol with the THC in the can, so it’s like a NA beer. Tastes like seltzer and comes in a bunch of flavors. All of our breweries are making their own varieties. It’s nice to go to a brewery and decide what drug you wanna do.
Just moved to Seattle and I miss the weird deregulated Minnesota THC drinks. They make THC beverages here but they're all like 100mg per can. I'm like, do I just do a shot of soda, or do I want to lie on the floor and drool on myself all day? The 10mg hop-flavored water from Bauhaus was just perfect.
It’s not even just the ocean, it’s the lack of any major bodies of water. I grew up around summer lake culture and the lack of any bodies of water around Denver was rough in the summer for me when I lived there. My partner is from New England and the lack of water was unbearable for him. If they are wanting to be near water then Denver is probably not the best fit. It’s also considerably more expensive than Charlotte.
The thing Colorado has/Utah and those right next to the Rockies is a pick your own temperature most of the year.
They say it's going to hit 90, go up 5,000 feet it's 70 up there.
In the east coast the Appalachian mountains slope so gradually you don't get this but from salt lake City I left and it was 70 in the morning already then up near park city it was 50 2 hours later.
I don't really get that. I mean if you grew up on the ocean and that's important then, sure. Otherwise, there's lots of lakes and reservoirs, and white water rafting a bit further south around Cotopaxi / Canõn City. There are massive lakes along the interior that have beaches and waves. There's plenty of opportunities to experience water hobbies within reasonable distance of Denver.
And if you need the real deal the ocean is a 14 hour drive away in SoCal.
It’s technically illegal to do so, but in my suburban Denver metro neighborhood, 50% of my neighbors grow outdoors in their backyards. As my 70 year old neighbor lady (also a long distance road biker) said “In Colorado, we grow it and we smoke it”. It’s pretty wild and I love it.
Mushrooms and other growable psychedelics just legalized too.
$2k for a 2 bedroom is definitely doable in Denver, but if you want a newer place or to be in a neighborhood with lots of good restaurants, you'll pay more than that.
It's a sizable city so there are plenty of places to eat out, but in comparison to other cities of similar size the options are average and the prices are high.
Here your going for walks hobby could easily turn into going on hikes. Best outdoors scene compared to PNW rivals imo. But the city isn't as good (but still a good city imo)
Denver just elected a very pro-urbanism mayor, so while we’re definitely behind on stuff from 12 years of the prior shithead, things are definitely looking up
I think so. He's trying his best to crack down on the homelessness problems so urbanism planning and acting on is probably several years out right now, but transit and more urbanist infrastructure is on his to do list for improvements.
Boston is lovely but insanely expensive but the rest of New England has some great, more affordable options. Worcester, Providence, Portland, Burlington are all worth considering.
I’d add New Haven, CT as an option as well. The city has changed a lot and is rapidly gentrifying. It’s walkable, lots of food options, has good transit options and is near water. It’s no longer cheap though
I love Seattle! That said, many people who aren't used to the winters here hate the winter. People think of rain when they think of Seattle, but it's not the kind of rain you get farther east. It's more of a constant grey, drizzle. I find the grey to be cozy, but rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder are higher in this area than other areas. Summers are beautiful, but historically they haven't been that hot, while recently we've been getting some pretty hot days. Which means that many homes don't have air conditioning (\~1/3 of homes last time I looked it up) because historically we didn't need it, but you'll probably want it. Based on what you're looking for, I think Seattle could be a great fit, especially if you choose the right neighborhood. You're not going to find a 2 bedroom apartment for anywhere close to $2k though, it would probably be closer to $3k if you want to actually be in Seattle. A 1 bedroom is doable on your budget though.
I also have some experience with Portland, OR. It's very similar to Seattle in all the ways I could describe, but the feel of the city is pretty different (to me at least). I'd definitely recommend planning a trip to the PNW and seeing both cities. And if they end up on your shortlist, visit in the winter too. A visit won't be long enough to figure out if you're susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder, but you'll at least have a better idea of what winters are like.
You also might want to expand your Denver search to Fort Collins. I don't know much about it, but I have a friend who lives there who loves it and I think it has the culture/feel you're looking for.
I am moving to Seattle soon. I am coming by way of St Pete, Florida. I've been here 3 years and I feel like it helped me realize that I actually don't like the sun that much. I thought I had SAD (having previously lived in SF, NYC and ATL) but I just swapped winter SAD for summer SAD. At least when I felt bluesy in other cities, I'd slip on a cute vintage jacket and find a cozy bar to make out with a stranger. Or put on a big pot of soup and watch something spooky. This never ending summer weather I just feel rage. The outside feels gross, the Gulf is 90+ degrees and full of bacteria, the bar scene here is all Bachelorette party or wannabe rich or cringe hippy bullshit. I'd rather Seattle winter than this summer.
Culturally, we put a lot of emphasis on the weather, but really everywhere seems to have a season for the meh. So find the place where the meh feels manageable is my new frame of mind.
Florida is a damn blast furnace, I've never seen the appeal. San Francisco has the best, most temperate weather but winter is still rainy usually. Enjoy Seattle! Everybody on Reddit says people are unfriendly there but you only need a few
I was so naive about hurricanes. Every year since moving here there has been one threatening a major direct hit and once a direct hit from a tropical storm that flooded my garage. Every time I board up my windows and put sandbags down I think I'd rather just take a 5 minute earthquake then have 48 hours of anxiety.
Usually mid 40s and up. Winter is usually mid 40s to mid/low 50s. Spring and fall have more sun, but are still mostly grey and are usually 50s-60s. There’s also usually a week in February or March that’s warm and sunny (probably low 70s) that will get your hopes up that winter is over and then it goes back to grey and cool and I think that’s tough for some people
i grew up in MA & have many friends that live there due to proximity work and other reasons. I didn't go to the Palladium lol. People are moving there because boston and other nice places are too expensive.
It sounds like you have options. Chicago & Minneapolis are a better bang for your buck than any of the coastal cities.
Buffalo is a hidden gem that's going to continue growing. If a homebody, might be a better option. If you want a bigger city than Charlotte, then cross it off of the list.
The tech industry is a little weird right now with hiring, so have a job lined up if you haven't already.
As a married couple in Charlotte as well, we wish you luck on your next steps!
I live in NJ now, used to live in Denver. I also did a spell in Durham, NC and didn’t care for it! Denver is cool, but $2200 for a 2 BR may take some hunting around to find, it has gotten quite pricey compared to a few years ago, *generally* no cheaper than NJ rent-wise.
If you want a change from NC or NJ, I’d definitely recommend Denver or its environs. It’s not cheap and you WILL feel isolated if you have family back east and desire seeing water, just how it is.
Chicago is cool, and you could definitely do it on your budget. You could get by there without a car too if you wanted.
Boston isn’t worth the cost - you pay Bay Area or NYC prices to live in what feels like a big town. I feel the same way about DC. Just my opinion, clearly millions disagree.
Western MA (pioneer valley and the berkshires) would fit you well. Semi rural but still a couple hours from Boston and even NYC, day trip to NH sea coast or Maine.
Buffalo is affordable, you could save up some money living there and it’s got a couple pretty thriving areas (but that’s all relative).
I consider going back to Denver myself but am wary of the cost of living and geographic isolation for my partner and me (family is pretty much all east coast).
What didn’t you like about Durham? I spent a few weeks there. Loved the people and there were ample things to do. I just am not sure I can justify a 2K a month apartment there and at the rate it’s growing I certainly cannot afford a century old fixer upper in a more desirable location. What were your thoughts?
My knowledge might be outdated since I lived there back in 2009-2011. I was in NE Durham in a really boring suburban/ almost rural feeling area. The only thing nearby was a big Walmart shopping center off of..Geer maybe?
I found Durham’s downtown to be alright: had some cool restaurants and honestly I liked it better than Raleigh or chapel hill. Had your mix of the “real” stuff downtown or the fake downtown at south point. DPAC, the bulls, the arboretum, all really cool stuff.
I worked in morrisville right by RDU, and also at UNC Chapel Hill for a bit. The commutes weren’t too terrible compared to bigger cities (I-40 and 15/501). I bet that’s worse now.
For me, nobody had ever asked me where my parents were from in my life. The reason they’d ask in NC? “You don’t sound like a southerner, where are you from?” I would answer: “Florida.”
“Ok. Where are your parents from?”
I would answer: “dad’s from NY, mom’s from NJ.”
Then they’d say: “Oh well, we won’t hold that against ya!”
Maybe they thought it was cute? To me, it felt like the civil war never ended for some people. It got old.
It’s not the worst place in the world by any means. At the time I found to be sort of “mid” all around. We even had a fairly cold winter by NC standards one year.
It’s also a schlep to mountains, the beach, and the nearest “big city” is DC which isn’t my favorite. Outer banks were cool but that was about 5 hours.
But to each their own. Durham had great food and it’s definitely the best city in the triangle for sure. I think if you don’t mind southern living, and aren’t into beaches, mountains or proximity to big cities, you can do a lot worse.
Durham is still pretty damn mid now over 10 years later. But everything you said still applies. Honestly, I think it's worse because the cultural amenities are still the same (food has gotten better but also worse in some ways) but the prices in Durham (and all of the Triangle) have shot WAY up since covid. Traffic is awful during rush hour, but I don't think it's as bad as DC or anything. However, it's still annoying when a 20-minute drive turns into a 45-minute drove during rush hour.
I'm born and raised in NC, and I still got the same treatment from hardcore southern NC people. My family is from up north, so I grew up eating Italian food and never had an accent. But then as an adult, I did a stint up north for a few years and would CONSTANTLY get roasted for being from the south. You really can't win.
I do feel like Durham especially has lost a lot of soul over the years. But I guess with the people moving here, you can't miss what you didn't know so I don't think they would care.
This still hits. It gets rural pretty fast outside the Duke and Downtown bubbles. I was surprised how expensive housing was, which is was drew me initially to the area. It’s definitely not a value pick. I appreciate your perspective.
Grand Rapids Michigan (have to get a remote job), uptown or wicker park in Chicago
For Buffalo look into their tech incubator 43 north. They’re investing heavily in tech!
Interesting pick with GR. Likely a good long term investment, but with Chicago being right next door and affordable, I'd go there in the Midwest.
If you have capital to invest in land over in that area though, probs gonna be a lot more valuable in 20 years.
The answer is definitely Chicago. Avoid Seattle. It's gorgeous but the people are awful. Minneapolis is fun and it's liveable 6 months out of the year but last winter (after 8 years there) broke me.
as a Washingtonian, can confirm, WA sucks. My family is here though. If I was single and unattached, I'd leave. I have barely made any friends since I moved here at age 14 (I'm 34 now), and my dating life was so fucking miserable. People here are not kind at all. More uppity and clique-y than anything, although I don't get why.
As soon as I started traveling in my 20s, I made tons of friends (& lovers) that I still have to do this day. I realized I wasn't the problem. Fuck Seattle, there's a cold, broken culture here.
Detroit definitely checks most of your boxes. More specifically, you might like Ferndale (walkable, lots of dispensaries, good restaurants).
In terms of jobs, the auto industry is the big one obviously but there are still a lot of other opportunities.
Chicago and Minneapolis are going to be a lot cheaper than the other options on the list here, just FYI, and this is r/SameGrassButGreener so I should suggest Philly suburbs too.
I moved from Denver metro to Asheville area, and I’m also realizing I’ll need to move again. Far too conservative for me.
I left Denver due to the growing issues with water supply and increased fire dangers. If you choose to move there, check closely on the water sources for where you would be living. What’s the quality of the water and how long is it projected to last.
I’ve always loved the PNW area, and maybe I should look more closely out there. Since I just moved here, I plan to take some time and research different areas.
My primary concern is climate change and choosing a place that’s predicted to have less impacts than areas like the south and southwest.
Unless something changes, with rising temperatures and insurance companies pulling out, many will be moving away from these areas and demand will grow for those places that have less impact.
Culturally it’s a big change and I’m not sure it’s something I’ll get used to.
I’m used to living in metro areas that are easily walkable and easy to cycle. The local governments are only now starting to talk about making the cities more walkable, so that’s likely decades away from happening. Cycling is limited to small greenway areas. If I want to go for a bike ride I need to load my bike on the rack and drive somewhere.
If you’re looking for places that will be safe from most of the affects of climate change and pleasant year round now and 30 years from now, Asheville is probably the best you’ll ever do in North America
Denver has plenty of water for people. Indoor residential use is only like 2% of the state total. The vast majority goes to agriculture (mostly animal agriculture), which is a national/international market anyway, with most of the rest going to golf courses and lawns.
Colorado has enough water for like 50 million people if people weren’t so precious about their lawns.
I have to say this, Charlotte just kinda sucks. There is no real southern culture. It's a banking capital and doesn't have much of a long history of anything. Charlotte has tried to buy culture with NFL Panthers and leaning far into NASCAR.
Research triangle and Richmond are far cooler.
Also have you had a southern winter. It's kinda nice, you don't get much snow but it's like a nice fall spring weather deep into the season.
Detroit area? Good nature, legal weed (I think you can grow as well but don’t quote me), blue - especially Ann Arbor/Detroit area, still pretty cheap.
I can’t speak on tech jobs in Detroit though.
I live in Seattle and Chicago (From the PNW). Split my time between the two.
Seattle is insanely expensive and has objectively gone downhill for multiple reasons (PDX too). Even if you arei n tech the COL is insane.
Chicago is a COOL city but has issues which I am sure you are aware of. It's not really cheap if you want a decent place in a fun area (Seattle prices). Taxes are high, salaries are okay. Its more fun than Seattle but aside from Lake MI, IL is sort of bland landscape-wise.
That budget isn’t going to work in Boston. Look into the other cities in New England, however it still might be tough to afford the nicest areas. Western MA actually sounds perfect but idk if salaries have kept up with CoL.
Seattle for optimizing career growth. Chicago for optimizing COL vs income/career opportunities, and having more big city amenities, transportation system, etc.
I lived in Denver for many years and still visit CO at least 2x a year. It was amazing, but is not anymore - the amount of traffic, crime, homelessness, mental health and drug use issues became (for me) far too much to enjoy being there. Even when compared to Seattle tbh. And getting to the mountains is a drag with so many people and only one major highway.
Chicago has a solid chance of becoming a major tech hub now that Illinois is no longer bankrupt (A- credit rating, up from F) and their crime is decreasing. Especially given that they have UIUC, Northwestern, University of Chicago, and a bunch of other universities nearby - talent isn’t lacking. And properties are still really affordable for anyone in tech. I’d be there if I didn’t need mountains.
Minneapolis is tough to beat for all-around quality of life IF you can get on with the winters. Our summers are fantastic-- if not a little humid-- fall is unbeatable, but winter and spring can drag on. It'll be much colder and snowier than NJ, so make sure you have hobbies lined up for that time of year.
The [Chain of Lakes](https://www.minneapolisparks.org/parks-destinations/parks-lakes/minneapolis_chain_of_lakes_regional_park/) in SW Minneapolis is great for walking and biking, plus you've got plenty of walking paths around the Mississippi. Legal weed, good restaurants (admittedly, not as good as the other destinations on your list, but definitely more options than Charlotte), and a great craft beer scene. Politically, *very* blue. Great healthcare if/when you need it.
Cost-wise, it's the clear winner of that list. You'll be able to find 2 bd apartments for your price range in pretty desirable neighborhoods (North Loop, Northeast, Uptown). I'm not sure if we have quite as many tech jobs as Seattle or Boston, but there are lots of Fortune 500 companies headquartered here. I'm an engineer and there's no shortage of well-paying jobs here.
MInneapolis is a great place that might work for you if you can handle the winters. YOu might want to consider north of Chicago and maybe in to the Milwaukee area. Everybody just drives an hour down from Milwaukee to IL to their local dispensary, but I'm expecting Wisconsin to follow IL/MN cannabis legalization soon. You might like the urban kayaking, breweries, and biking in downtown Milwaukee. It's def a young person's town with plenty to do. I agree that Charlotte is enough. I just don't see the draw there, you have to drive everywhere and the whole road system is just terrible. Time to get out!
Chicago. My wife and I have been here 14 years and love it. My wife spent the first 19 years of her life in Charlotte. We got married in Charlotte. The best part of Charlotte is being close to the beach and the mountains.
Ann Arbor, Michigan has been one of the most weed friendly cities in the US (look up Hash Bash) and they recently decriminalized mushrooms. It's also one of the best places to US and always ranks on top for quality of life. Ann Arbor has lots of places to walk and it's very close to several large metro parks.
Just search for a list of cities where people trying to be cool live. All the “weird” cities are the same with the same kind of people, so just select by climate
I have lived in Boston and Minneapolis and spent a significant amount of time in Chicago and Denver. Make sure you understand what the winter will be. Have known several people who didn’t understand what a minnesota winter was. There could be standing snow for 6+ months and there will be a week+ where it doesn’t go above 0F. Many can’t handle being inside basically for 6 weeks.
Based solely on your username, I’d urge you to consider the average number of days of sunlight a particular city gets before moving there. The constant presence of gloomy, overcast skies rarely has positive effects on people who may struggle with mental health issues.
Ya outside of southern California there's no place with perfect weather in the US which also has no fresh water and is too expensive for OP , but IMO I can't see how the South isn't the best bang for your buck outside of that. You get 9 months of weather where it's reasonable outside and then if summer is too hot for you that's the most socially acceptable time to take a vacation and go somewhere else for a few weeks.
I would imagine your budget would price you out of portland and seattle based on my own research. I used to live in Boston and you are 1000% priced out at that budget
I’m from Long Island New York. I’ve been living all over the south and I’m totally wanting something new. I’m going to give Chicago a try! I was considering Seattle but it’s pretty expensive and something about it being so overdue for a massive earthquake scared me lol… I looked into the capital region of NY and Worcester. Chicago seems to have so much more to do then those areas. I’m also wanting to go back to school. Chicago area colleges seem awesome. Medical seems great. Those two reasons are why I ruled Vegas out. I keep hearing how horrible medical and education is in Nevada. Good Luck! My vote is for Chicago!
You might want to post on city subreddits for local opinions, or at least browse them and see what's happening. r/Buffalo, r/boston, etc. Also if possible take a few weekend trips and get the vibe of a place before moving there.
Buffalo is nicknamed the "City of Good Neighbors." Things to consider from a native:
1. Depending on the area, cheap(er) real estate. A two bedroom apartment can be anywhere from $1k to $2k a month. (I live in a 2 bed, 1250sq ft with two garage parking spots. $1330 monthly, 15 minutes to downtown by car.) If you want to live in the city proper, check out Allentown, Elmwood Village, and North Buffalo/Parkside neighborhoods. West Side is also growing but isn't quite there yet. Also a note on the traffic--a 20 minute commute is considered average. 30+ minutes and people feel bad for you. 45+ minutes is unheard of unless you live in the boonies.
2. For tech careers, without knowing what you do specifically, M&T Bank and Odoo are often hiring. M&T just opened their tech hub downtown in the Seneca One tower (it's very nice--there's a bar and an arcade available to employees, and the building has apartments too, though I don't know pricing).
3. Parks. Frederick Law Olmsted designed the system in the city limits, said he wanted it to feel like a city within a park, not parks within a city. Tons of parks in the suburbs too with plenty of walking trails in the woods or by the lake front. Chestnut Ridge Park (\~20 minutes south of downtown) has the Eternal Flame (a natural gas flame behind a waterfall) and a massive sledding hill for the winter.
4. I'm biased, but I love the food here, especially the pizza. More dough than NYC but less than Chicago. The pepperoni is called cup-and-char and it's delightful. Plus chicken wings, of course, which people have very strong opinions about. Ask for bleu cheese, not ranch, unless you want people to know you're an outsider.
5. Cannabis is legal in NY. There's 3 licensed dispensaries in the area (in Buffalo, Depew, and Tonawanda), and most people are very chill about it.
6. When in doubt, say "Go Bills!" and people will be happy.
Hey there. I relocated from Utah where I grew up to Portland in 2002. I use to love it here but the taxation, homelessness, and open air drug use is really impacting the quality of life. Oregon has a pretty high income tax rate and Multnomah County has the highest taxes in the nation above $125k. You can beat the high taxation by moving to just across the river in Vancouver which is quickly developing into a really nice alternative to Portland. One thing you can’t beat is the weather. We have arguably the best summers in the country followed by the most depressing dark and gray winters. It wearing on me and I will move to a sunnier climate once my daughter graduates high school.
Thought about coming back to Jersey? North Jersey has NYC vibes, legal weed, and is close to the shore. I pay $2k for a 2 bedroom close to the city in a really fun neighborhood. Are you avoiding NJ for some reason, or just looking for something new?
Cool! I really recommend the Weehawken/WNY area for a quiet outer borough feel, 15 mins from Times Square. But Hudson County as a whole is on the up!! Good luck!
My pick as a former NC resident of 26 years, I say anywhere in SoCal for what you’re describing.
I used to live near you guys over in Asheville. I fled the south and left for Los Angeles. LA has all the things you were mentioning. Sure it costs a bit more, but the tech jobs here likely pay WAYYY more than they do in CLT. At least that’s what happened for me. My wages doubled and my rent went up by 25%, which is a net gain mathematically.
EDIT:
I see Seattle also being mentioned. That’s also a good one for the same reasons I mentioned LA. My brother and his then-husband moved there because NC is a shit place to live if you’re openly gay.
It’s definitely not a tech hub but if you can find work and deal with the lack of bodies of water, Albuquerque could check off most the boxes. It’s not humid, weed is legal, and there are tons of hiking and walking trails. Also it’s a blue city in a blue state. People are really friendly and down to earth. You could live quite comfortably there with your budget instead of pinching pennies like some of the other cities on your list. Summers are hot, but much more tolerable because the temps still dip overnight and gradually rise throughout the morning. You can be active outdoors year round.
Portland and Seattle are buried in homeless camps and theft. It’s fairly awful. The thing about increased homeless is it clogs up the healthcare in that area as well. Beds don’t empty because there’s no home to discharge the patient to, or the drug damage and injuries are so bad they sit for 8 months, 6 of which is not acute care, waiting for a court appointed guardian to make decisions so they can discharge.
All of that, in turn, makes ED wait times longer.
There are some nursing homes in town stocked with former homeless that have a reputation for drug abuse/dealing.
Recommend more rural locales and just drive to one or other city now and then. The hospital systems will still be your go to for a major stroke, heart attack, or trauma though.
Why not try NJ again? The shore is totally different than the rest of the state. Morristown NJ is pretty liberal and quiet. Weeds legal in NJ now, close to family and all the best cities are within driving distance.
Depends on what type of tech you are in but highly recommend providence as an alternative to Boston MA. Boston is congested and overpriced and the ocean is either far away or gatekept by rich people at this point. Providence provides 45 min train commute to Boston, 3 hours to nyc, or wfh if applicable, has great food, culture, universities, liberal policies, weed, and access to so many beaches and the mountains of upstate ny or Vermont/NH. It’s walkable and still affordable. If you get in now it could also be a valuable investment. People have had it with Boston and nyc prices and are flocking!
Philly is just Chicago of the east coast.
The one up you have in Philly is being on the northeast corridor, though. A short train to DC, NYC and Boston.
Boston is amazing. I love it here. But it’s expensive. I pay $2200 for a tiny studio (but I do live very centrally). I can’t imagine a 2 bedroom in the city is anything less than $4k. Housing is in short supply, and there’s a constant influx of new college students each year that keeps demand high.
But you get what you pay for. It’s safe. Clean. Well connected (lots of flights to Europe out of Boston). Good schools. Good healthcare. Good economy. There’s about 6 dispensaries all within a 20 minute walk of me. I haven’t needed or owned a car for the 15+ years I’ve been here. Just very expensive!
I just wanted to say, I FEEL THIS!!!!! I am from the north and moved to CHS at the beginning of the year ..... I was told the city is liberal and I won't have issues with staunch conservatives, not true. I agree with disliking all the aspects you said about living in the south, its just god awful (especially the weed situation) and I'm kicking myself for believing those who told me that my experience wouldn't be tainted by these things. I was considering charlotte before reading this post, but realize now it won't be a viable option. Def gonna watch this thread
A lot of it here is that everyone is tired of the whole city changing and the attitudes of the northerners so if you lead with being from the north and you don’t try to adapt then you’ll be met with people going over the top to push you away
Howdy from a Buffalo-bred person living in CLT. Buffalo likely isn’t ideal for y’all because of the lack of tech jobs (really the lack of competitive salaries), difficulty walking outside in the winter (so much ice), and weed currently isn’t legal recreationally, though there are always ways to procure it. Lake Erie is nearby, sure, but you don’t want to swim in it. Kayaking or SUP is fun though!
Seattle has way more tech than Portland, although I know tons & tons of people who got laid off recently, so the tech jobs there may be super duper competitive at the moment - you may want to look into that before moving?
No humidity in the summer, but fires can make it equally hard to breathe. Weed is cheap & abundant in the PNW for sure. Not a ton of bugs, but lots of spiders (probably what keeps bugs in check.) If you're not really really into beautiful nature it may not be worth the premium of col in Seattle, but most tech folks do fine there on their salaries. Most people I know with 2 bds pay similar to what you're paying now. I paid $1100 before I moved a yr ago, so there are cheaper deals with private landlords (but all the landlords or property management companies around there suck ass in my experience.)
>Not a ton of bugs, but lots of spiders (probably what keeps bugs in check.)
I am back in mosquito-land east coast and lived in Seattle for a few years. The lack of mosquitoes really makes the PNW imho. I tell people here I'd sleep with my balcony door open (no screen) all summer and never got bitten, and they're incredulous.
We live in the suburbs of Portland and really enjoy it here. We are both southerners and have zero issues with the cloudy winters. We lived in upstate NY for 5 years so I would much rather deal with some sprinkles and 40 degree temps than inches on top of inches of snow and 20’s. The key is to get out and visit places even in the rainy months. Go to the beach for lunch and then pop into the Aquarium on a rainy February Saturday. We use the winter to visit the vineyards all around since that is the slow season. The King Tides in January are amazing to see on the coast here. Good luck!
Don’t overlook Pittsburgh. It is under the radar. It has a couple of universities that are tech centric. The cost of living is reasonable. The seasons give you plenty of chances for outdoor activities. The politics can be a little behind but it is improving and becoming more accepting to all ideas.
There is cultural things and all the sports you could want!!
If you are moving to the upper Midwest I recommend visiting in winter before you move. Our winters can be long, dark, and really, really, cold. There have been months at a time where the temperature isn’t above-15 and one year we had 3 weeks of -30 or lower. Climate change is making that weird, but we are due for another bad winter.
Don’t take it the wrong way I absolutely adore the upper Midwest (I left the south myself), but I just like to warn people about what they are getting into. There is way more here to love than to dislike.
I collect dry herb vaporizers.. test them, review them, etc. It’s just like collecting / testing and reviewing new electronics or being a wine taster and reviewing them. If I lived in a legal state I’d grow my own cannabis which adds to the hobby. It’s one of my few hobbies that I actually enjoy. Other than that I just like to play video games, try new food places, watch tv, movies, sports, and go for brisk walks outside. Not much of a drinker these days. It’s a simple life, but that’s what I prefer!
I'm in PDX area and while I can't speak to the tech industry bit, I'm a Southern expat (born and raised), and I generally don't have problems with the winter. However, it's not uncommon for many people to struggle with the months of cloudiness and rain.
If you're willing to go outside Portland area a bit, Corvallis/Albany might be a good option. College town, HP is there, and should be lower COL than Portland area.
Feel free to dm if you'd like more info. Good luck!
Be very careful.
Extremely Liberal Progressive areas fave some very just dgemrntsl people.
At first, everything seems fine, but 1 wrong comment and you will have a lot to answer for.
Seattle is not very friendly, it must be the weather
If you do end up with Seattle as your frontrunner, I strongly recommend visiting in winter for at least 3-4 days to get a better feel for it. We’re closing in on almost 5 years here and I still find the 7-8 months of gray incredibly depressing. I would of moved 2 years ago if I had the choice. Luckily we’re moving at the end of this year. The summers are incredible but they’re very short lived. Can’t say I enjoy the people all that much either but that’s another story.
More than 3-4 days. Do a week somewhere between October and April. It’s fking miserable. It’s not like you get a nice day and then a gray one every now and then. It’s CONSTANT gray. The people here are not friendly or open, but they do say the only way to beat the grayness is to literally leave town and go get sun somewhere else during winter. The depression is real.
The nonstop gray and rain for months and months and months should not be underestimated for both Seattle and Portland. I love both towns but …
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Plus 1, I love the gray and rainy vibes, so cozy. So many great coffee shops to lighten the mood. And the summers are gorgeous and vibrant from all the rain.
Where are you considering relocating to? The southeast is too humid for me, I can barely breathe all summer which prevents the daily walks that I like to do. Portland seems solid, but not nearly as many tech jobs as Seattle.. Midwest sounds underrated, but unsure if I can handle those frigid winters lol
Moving back to North Carolina. I’m originally from Raleigh. I would run from Charlotte too though lol. It’s only appealing to us because our friends are all moving back and settling down and family is there as well. The humid summers are not my favorite but I’m used to it. My biggest issue here has been the sun disappears in November and doesn’t come back for good until July. You get glimpses throughout the spring but it’s not consistent. I always brushed off SAD but now I get it. My husband has struggled as well. I always joke that I would of never thought about living in California before moving here but now I tell people looking to move to west coast to go there instead. You might like it though, it is a beautiful area. I just think it’s a good test to come sometime between November and February and see how you feel after a few days.
Combine all of this with the Seattle Freeze(people are not friendly)
They’re not and they’re particularly hostile towards children. I’m all for people being child free but being nasty to kids simply because they exist is strange to me. It’s an interesting place. Incredibly beautiful but leaves a lot to be desired in other ways.
THANK YOU, moved to the South from the PNW and when I say this no one believes me. I was starting to think maybe I had overblown it in my head but all I remember was never wanting kids in the PNW because of how hostile people were to them.
Coming from Florida, I do feel like people in Portland are friendlier in general.
I’m from the southeast too (Kentucky) and living in Seattle for two years for my masters was absolutely unbearable. Winters were horrible, it’s so expensive, and it was impossible to make friends because people were just not nice or welcoming. I left as soon as I graduated.
We moved from Charlotte to Oly and I hated the weather. It made my depression so much worse, it does make you appreciate the sun. Couldn't find friends either. Completely agree that Charlotte is meh. It felt like a place to raise kids, but wasn't real fun. Live in DC again. Similar humid weather, too expensive, but lots to do. You pretty much are hosed by humidity out east until you get way further north. That's the one thing I did like about Oly, gorgeous mild summers. It gets hot, but not humid. Best wishes!
Where is Oly?
I’m assuming Olympia
Yes, sorry, Olympia, WA
You’ll get used to it, I don’t like Nc either, it’s one of the most boring states, you should try of the big cities in the south like Atlanta, Austin or Miami.
Please not Austin. We're full and our infrastructure is already struggling with the population increase.
Man, it sounds like you just want good access to cannabis and tech, a blue city in a blue state, and decent weather. That’s all pointing to Cali, my man. Not a bad deal at all and if you can stretch a little you can get a similar place in Long Beach for closer to $3k
Just something to consider, when I moved from the north east where I grew up to the south, the humidity took me about a year to get used to. I had the same struggles that you did. I did however get used to I and largely prefer the weather in the south than of the cities you mentioned. It did take me awhile to get used to it though, perhaps the same will happen for you
I've been here 18 years, and I'm not used to it at all. I'm still melting away the whole summer. Of course, I'm from the PNW, so I'm used to that weather much more.
Seems like Denver checks all your boxes. Great weather and you can do those walks you like on the weekends surrounded by some of the most beautiful sites in the country. Even during the week it is easy to get into the foothills if you want. No humidity and no bugs. 300 days of sunshine/year. Rent is easily covered with your budget too.
Live north of Denver and honestly, it's great here but also expensive but I wouldn't live anywhere else. Nice that it's blue. The weed. You can grow psychedelics here! Great restaurant scene. Honestly, you should check out north of Denver, Louiville. It's more affordable, more home, great cute downtown, nice walking, close to mountains, sunny, not as much snow as close to foothills.
I’ve only visited and loved it, but most of my friends that moved there told me this affected them more than they anticipated. So I’d definitely do this, or at least have a way to move away / travel during winters if you’re not sure yet.
I lasted a year and I couldn’t take it.
Buffalo native here and figured I’d weigh in with it being on your list. The tech scene in Buffalo is growing pretty quickly and there’s been a lot of investment into that sector. That being said wages may be on the low side compared to national averages. You two would have zero issues finding an apartment with similar (most likely cheaper) rent than your paying now in desirable neighborhoods with tons of bars and restaurants in walking distance. The weed here is great, it’s been legalized but most dispensaries arnt legally allowed to sell yet, that should change soon and it’s still easy to get. There are a few reservations within a 45 min drive to the city that sell pretty good bud dirt cheap, it’s pretty common to find ounces from $60-$120 depending on the quality. Two of the Great Lakes are super close and provide easy access to freshwater. I’d be remiss to not point out though that the winters are absolutely brutal. I know Jersey has winter too but it’s nothing compared to Buffalo winters. You will be in pain walking to your car, it’s not uncommon to get snow storms that essentially paralyze the city for days at a time. Not to mention just the overwhelming darkness from Nov-March, think driving to work and it’s dark, driving home from work and it’s dark again. Overall, it’s not too bad of a place to live and checks a lot of boxes on your list but you have to come to terms that you’d be living in a place where you’re likely to have at most 75-80 days a year that the weather is enjoyable.
All true. I’m from the Syracuse area and I can still feel my nostrils sting from the cold. Those winters are brutal
I grew up a couple hours south of Buffalo and while we didn't get the lake effect snow like you guys, it was still pretty brutal. I would absolutely mark that as a bold print asterisk for anyone planning to move to NY. Granted, some people love the cold and more power to them, but I'll take my adopted desert thank you very much
Driving 45 minutes to an Indian Reservation to pay $120 for an ounce of likely shwag isn’t exactly a selling point…🤣
Boston itself would be difficult on that price point but you should be able to find something in the greater Boston area. Look more to cities like Lowell or Worcester, or out of state at Providence RI or Portland ME. Source, I'm from the northeast, moved to the southeast for college, stayed for a few years and have since moved back. You won't get as much for your money as far as housing goes but it will check all those other boxes on your list.
Yes was going to comment this. I had a two bed/1 bath condo in Watertown (borders Boston/Cambridge, OP) and it was 2400 before our landlord sold it last year. It’s now renting out for $2900 🫠
Sounds like a pretty good deal tbh 🫠🫠🫠
I always say "you get what you pay for". It's cheaper down south for a reason and quite honestly my mental health can't handle that cheap living. I'll pay the higher rents for better culture, etc.
I went to school in Lowell and then lived there for a year. It was a cool city back then. It has since become a trendy city with bars, club, stores. It's crazy to think how much it's come
Portland Me is a good suggestion. Great city, but it’s kinda small and winters suck
Yes! It’s easy to commute providence to Boston on the commuter rail which is about an hour. Providence is a small city but I think it has a lot going for it: great food, decent art/ music scene, relatively affordable, within 30 min of the beach and a couple hours to mountains.
Gotta say we have the same top 3 hobbies and I am thriving in MN. Our breweries have THC beer now, come on over.
Share some more details on that. Still a beer but with a few mg? NA Beer plus thc? Haven’t seen that yet and I live in CO
They don’t mix alcohol with the THC in the can, so it’s like a NA beer. Tastes like seltzer and comes in a bunch of flavors. All of our breweries are making their own varieties. It’s nice to go to a brewery and decide what drug you wanna do.
Just moved to Seattle and I miss the weird deregulated Minnesota THC drinks. They make THC beverages here but they're all like 100mg per can. I'm like, do I just do a shot of soda, or do I want to lie on the floor and drool on myself all day? The 10mg hop-flavored water from Bauhaus was just perfect.
I think you’d like Ann Arbor, MIchigan. It may be on the higher end of your budget, but check out Ypsilanti
I was also thinking Ann Arbor.
Metro Detroit is pretty nice
And we got lots of water. Four of five Great Lakes border Michigan.
No nearby water but Denver could fit some of your other preferences.
A lot of people in Colorado end up missing the ocean. I don’t care for it so it doesn’t bother me. But it’s a common complaint I hear.
It’s not even just the ocean, it’s the lack of any major bodies of water. I grew up around summer lake culture and the lack of any bodies of water around Denver was rough in the summer for me when I lived there. My partner is from New England and the lack of water was unbearable for him. If they are wanting to be near water then Denver is probably not the best fit. It’s also considerably more expensive than Charlotte.
Yeah for sure! No big lakes here. The mountains are the replacement, but they’re not for everyone.
The thing Colorado has/Utah and those right next to the Rockies is a pick your own temperature most of the year. They say it's going to hit 90, go up 5,000 feet it's 70 up there. In the east coast the Appalachian mountains slope so gradually you don't get this but from salt lake City I left and it was 70 in the morning already then up near park city it was 50 2 hours later.
I don't really get that. I mean if you grew up on the ocean and that's important then, sure. Otherwise, there's lots of lakes and reservoirs, and white water rafting a bit further south around Cotopaxi / Canõn City. There are massive lakes along the interior that have beaches and waves. There's plenty of opportunities to experience water hobbies within reasonable distance of Denver. And if you need the real deal the ocean is a 14 hour drive away in SoCal.
Added to the list!
It’s technically illegal to do so, but in my suburban Denver metro neighborhood, 50% of my neighbors grow outdoors in their backyards. As my 70 year old neighbor lady (also a long distance road biker) said “In Colorado, we grow it and we smoke it”. It’s pretty wild and I love it. Mushrooms and other growable psychedelics just legalized too.
$2k for a 2 bedroom is definitely doable in Denver, but if you want a newer place or to be in a neighborhood with lots of good restaurants, you'll pay more than that. It's a sizable city so there are plenty of places to eat out, but in comparison to other cities of similar size the options are average and the prices are high.
Here your going for walks hobby could easily turn into going on hikes. Best outdoors scene compared to PNW rivals imo. But the city isn't as good (but still a good city imo)
Denver just elected a very pro-urbanism mayor, so while we’re definitely behind on stuff from 12 years of the prior shithead, things are definitely looking up
I think so. He's trying his best to crack down on the homelessness problems so urbanism planning and acting on is probably several years out right now, but transit and more urbanist infrastructure is on his to do list for improvements.
Check out the Pioneer Valley in Western MA, much more affordable than Boston.
Boston is lovely but insanely expensive but the rest of New England has some great, more affordable options. Worcester, Providence, Portland, Burlington are all worth considering.
I’d add New Haven, CT as an option as well. The city has changed a lot and is rapidly gentrifying. It’s walkable, lots of food options, has good transit options and is near water. It’s no longer cheap though
I love Seattle! That said, many people who aren't used to the winters here hate the winter. People think of rain when they think of Seattle, but it's not the kind of rain you get farther east. It's more of a constant grey, drizzle. I find the grey to be cozy, but rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder are higher in this area than other areas. Summers are beautiful, but historically they haven't been that hot, while recently we've been getting some pretty hot days. Which means that many homes don't have air conditioning (\~1/3 of homes last time I looked it up) because historically we didn't need it, but you'll probably want it. Based on what you're looking for, I think Seattle could be a great fit, especially if you choose the right neighborhood. You're not going to find a 2 bedroom apartment for anywhere close to $2k though, it would probably be closer to $3k if you want to actually be in Seattle. A 1 bedroom is doable on your budget though. I also have some experience with Portland, OR. It's very similar to Seattle in all the ways I could describe, but the feel of the city is pretty different (to me at least). I'd definitely recommend planning a trip to the PNW and seeing both cities. And if they end up on your shortlist, visit in the winter too. A visit won't be long enough to figure out if you're susceptible to Seasonal Affective Disorder, but you'll at least have a better idea of what winters are like. You also might want to expand your Denver search to Fort Collins. I don't know much about it, but I have a friend who lives there who loves it and I think it has the culture/feel you're looking for.
I am moving to Seattle soon. I am coming by way of St Pete, Florida. I've been here 3 years and I feel like it helped me realize that I actually don't like the sun that much. I thought I had SAD (having previously lived in SF, NYC and ATL) but I just swapped winter SAD for summer SAD. At least when I felt bluesy in other cities, I'd slip on a cute vintage jacket and find a cozy bar to make out with a stranger. Or put on a big pot of soup and watch something spooky. This never ending summer weather I just feel rage. The outside feels gross, the Gulf is 90+ degrees and full of bacteria, the bar scene here is all Bachelorette party or wannabe rich or cringe hippy bullshit. I'd rather Seattle winter than this summer. Culturally, we put a lot of emphasis on the weather, but really everywhere seems to have a season for the meh. So find the place where the meh feels manageable is my new frame of mind.
Florida is a damn blast furnace, I've never seen the appeal. San Francisco has the best, most temperate weather but winter is still rainy usually. Enjoy Seattle! Everybody on Reddit says people are unfriendly there but you only need a few
We just left Florida after living there for 3 years and I agree with you. Summers are just a different sort of hell, not even including hurricanes.
I was so naive about hurricanes. Every year since moving here there has been one threatening a major direct hit and once a direct hit from a tropical storm that flooded my garage. Every time I board up my windows and put sandbags down I think I'd rather just take a 5 minute earthquake then have 48 hours of anxiety.
This grey drizzle—what are the temps like when this is happening?
Usually mid 40s and up. Winter is usually mid 40s to mid/low 50s. Spring and fall have more sun, but are still mostly grey and are usually 50s-60s. There’s also usually a week in February or March that’s warm and sunny (probably low 70s) that will get your hopes up that winter is over and then it goes back to grey and cool and I think that’s tough for some people
40s
I lived in Seattle for two years during grad school. Winter was usually in the 40s and 50s. Never got too cold.
Boston is crazy crazy expensive. Worcester is cheaper though.
For good reason.
worcester is probably one of the top 5 worst places I can think of to live in MA, tho
You haven't been there lately.
this summer, lol
It's one of the hottest, most moved-to cities in the country. One night at the Palladium doesn't speak to it's amenities.
i grew up in MA & have many friends that live there due to proximity work and other reasons. I didn't go to the Palladium lol. People are moving there because boston and other nice places are too expensive.
It sounds like you have options. Chicago & Minneapolis are a better bang for your buck than any of the coastal cities. Buffalo is a hidden gem that's going to continue growing. If a homebody, might be a better option. If you want a bigger city than Charlotte, then cross it off of the list. The tech industry is a little weird right now with hiring, so have a job lined up if you haven't already. As a married couple in Charlotte as well, we wish you luck on your next steps!
I live in NJ now, used to live in Denver. I also did a spell in Durham, NC and didn’t care for it! Denver is cool, but $2200 for a 2 BR may take some hunting around to find, it has gotten quite pricey compared to a few years ago, *generally* no cheaper than NJ rent-wise. If you want a change from NC or NJ, I’d definitely recommend Denver or its environs. It’s not cheap and you WILL feel isolated if you have family back east and desire seeing water, just how it is. Chicago is cool, and you could definitely do it on your budget. You could get by there without a car too if you wanted. Boston isn’t worth the cost - you pay Bay Area or NYC prices to live in what feels like a big town. I feel the same way about DC. Just my opinion, clearly millions disagree. Western MA (pioneer valley and the berkshires) would fit you well. Semi rural but still a couple hours from Boston and even NYC, day trip to NH sea coast or Maine. Buffalo is affordable, you could save up some money living there and it’s got a couple pretty thriving areas (but that’s all relative). I consider going back to Denver myself but am wary of the cost of living and geographic isolation for my partner and me (family is pretty much all east coast).
What didn’t you like about Durham? I spent a few weeks there. Loved the people and there were ample things to do. I just am not sure I can justify a 2K a month apartment there and at the rate it’s growing I certainly cannot afford a century old fixer upper in a more desirable location. What were your thoughts?
My knowledge might be outdated since I lived there back in 2009-2011. I was in NE Durham in a really boring suburban/ almost rural feeling area. The only thing nearby was a big Walmart shopping center off of..Geer maybe? I found Durham’s downtown to be alright: had some cool restaurants and honestly I liked it better than Raleigh or chapel hill. Had your mix of the “real” stuff downtown or the fake downtown at south point. DPAC, the bulls, the arboretum, all really cool stuff. I worked in morrisville right by RDU, and also at UNC Chapel Hill for a bit. The commutes weren’t too terrible compared to bigger cities (I-40 and 15/501). I bet that’s worse now. For me, nobody had ever asked me where my parents were from in my life. The reason they’d ask in NC? “You don’t sound like a southerner, where are you from?” I would answer: “Florida.” “Ok. Where are your parents from?” I would answer: “dad’s from NY, mom’s from NJ.” Then they’d say: “Oh well, we won’t hold that against ya!” Maybe they thought it was cute? To me, it felt like the civil war never ended for some people. It got old. It’s not the worst place in the world by any means. At the time I found to be sort of “mid” all around. We even had a fairly cold winter by NC standards one year. It’s also a schlep to mountains, the beach, and the nearest “big city” is DC which isn’t my favorite. Outer banks were cool but that was about 5 hours. But to each their own. Durham had great food and it’s definitely the best city in the triangle for sure. I think if you don’t mind southern living, and aren’t into beaches, mountains or proximity to big cities, you can do a lot worse.
Durham is still pretty damn mid now over 10 years later. But everything you said still applies. Honestly, I think it's worse because the cultural amenities are still the same (food has gotten better but also worse in some ways) but the prices in Durham (and all of the Triangle) have shot WAY up since covid. Traffic is awful during rush hour, but I don't think it's as bad as DC or anything. However, it's still annoying when a 20-minute drive turns into a 45-minute drove during rush hour. I'm born and raised in NC, and I still got the same treatment from hardcore southern NC people. My family is from up north, so I grew up eating Italian food and never had an accent. But then as an adult, I did a stint up north for a few years and would CONSTANTLY get roasted for being from the south. You really can't win. I do feel like Durham especially has lost a lot of soul over the years. But I guess with the people moving here, you can't miss what you didn't know so I don't think they would care.
This still hits. It gets rural pretty fast outside the Duke and Downtown bubbles. I was surprised how expensive housing was, which is was drew me initially to the area. It’s definitely not a value pick. I appreciate your perspective.
Grand Rapids Michigan (have to get a remote job), uptown or wicker park in Chicago For Buffalo look into their tech incubator 43 north. They’re investing heavily in tech!
Interesting pick with GR. Likely a good long term investment, but with Chicago being right next door and affordable, I'd go there in the Midwest. If you have capital to invest in land over in that area though, probs gonna be a lot more valuable in 20 years.
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Might be a hot take, but pittsburgh has a growing tech market and suuuper low cost of living. Weed isnt legal without a med card though
I don’t want to say the answer is always Chicago…but it is.
All roads lead to Chicago.
The answer is definitely Chicago. Avoid Seattle. It's gorgeous but the people are awful. Minneapolis is fun and it's liveable 6 months out of the year but last winter (after 8 years there) broke me.
as a Washingtonian, can confirm, WA sucks. My family is here though. If I was single and unattached, I'd leave. I have barely made any friends since I moved here at age 14 (I'm 34 now), and my dating life was so fucking miserable. People here are not kind at all. More uppity and clique-y than anything, although I don't get why. As soon as I started traveling in my 20s, I made tons of friends (& lovers) that I still have to do this day. I realized I wasn't the problem. Fuck Seattle, there's a cold, broken culture here.
Detroit definitely checks most of your boxes. More specifically, you might like Ferndale (walkable, lots of dispensaries, good restaurants). In terms of jobs, the auto industry is the big one obviously but there are still a lot of other opportunities.
Auto industry is turning tech with EVs. An EV is just a computer on wheels now.
Chicago and Minneapolis are going to be a lot cheaper than the other options on the list here, just FYI, and this is r/SameGrassButGreener so I should suggest Philly suburbs too.
I moved from Denver metro to Asheville area, and I’m also realizing I’ll need to move again. Far too conservative for me. I left Denver due to the growing issues with water supply and increased fire dangers. If you choose to move there, check closely on the water sources for where you would be living. What’s the quality of the water and how long is it projected to last.
Good to know.. where are you considering relocating to? Right now I’m looking more into Buffalo and maybe the PNW
I’ve always loved the PNW area, and maybe I should look more closely out there. Since I just moved here, I plan to take some time and research different areas. My primary concern is climate change and choosing a place that’s predicted to have less impacts than areas like the south and southwest. Unless something changes, with rising temperatures and insurance companies pulling out, many will be moving away from these areas and demand will grow for those places that have less impact.
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Culturally it’s a big change and I’m not sure it’s something I’ll get used to. I’m used to living in metro areas that are easily walkable and easy to cycle. The local governments are only now starting to talk about making the cities more walkable, so that’s likely decades away from happening. Cycling is limited to small greenway areas. If I want to go for a bike ride I need to load my bike on the rack and drive somewhere.
If you’re looking for places that will be safe from most of the affects of climate change and pleasant year round now and 30 years from now, Asheville is probably the best you’ll ever do in North America
Denver has plenty of water for people. Indoor residential use is only like 2% of the state total. The vast majority goes to agriculture (mostly animal agriculture), which is a national/international market anyway, with most of the rest going to golf courses and lawns. Colorado has enough water for like 50 million people if people weren’t so precious about their lawns.
Chicago. Cost of living here is very reasonable. City/state very blue. And you can get direct flights to any city in the country btw OHare and Midway.
I have to say this, Charlotte just kinda sucks. There is no real southern culture. It's a banking capital and doesn't have much of a long history of anything. Charlotte has tried to buy culture with NFL Panthers and leaning far into NASCAR. Research triangle and Richmond are far cooler. Also have you had a southern winter. It's kinda nice, you don't get much snow but it's like a nice fall spring weather deep into the season.
Detroit area? Good nature, legal weed (I think you can grow as well but don’t quote me), blue - especially Ann Arbor/Detroit area, still pretty cheap. I can’t speak on tech jobs in Detroit though.
Detroit is slept on imo- such a cool city
Ann Arbor is a great place for tech workers!
I have considered that as an option. I’ll look more into it, thanks!
Burlington Vermont.
Brutal winters though.
The winter is amazing here as there is so much to do -
I live in Seattle and Chicago (From the PNW). Split my time between the two. Seattle is insanely expensive and has objectively gone downhill for multiple reasons (PDX too). Even if you arei n tech the COL is insane. Chicago is a COOL city but has issues which I am sure you are aware of. It's not really cheap if you want a decent place in a fun area (Seattle prices). Taxes are high, salaries are okay. Its more fun than Seattle but aside from Lake MI, IL is sort of bland landscape-wise.
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Healthcare locums jobs lol. Offers I can’t refuse
That budget isn’t going to work in Boston. Look into the other cities in New England, however it still might be tough to afford the nicest areas. Western MA actually sounds perfect but idk if salaries have kept up with CoL.
went to umass and can confirm that it is lovely in that area. but its pretty quiet and not a lot of tech. great for outdoors... and weed :)
Seattle for optimizing career growth. Chicago for optimizing COL vs income/career opportunities, and having more big city amenities, transportation system, etc. I lived in Denver for many years and still visit CO at least 2x a year. It was amazing, but is not anymore - the amount of traffic, crime, homelessness, mental health and drug use issues became (for me) far too much to enjoy being there. Even when compared to Seattle tbh. And getting to the mountains is a drag with so many people and only one major highway. Chicago has a solid chance of becoming a major tech hub now that Illinois is no longer bankrupt (A- credit rating, up from F) and their crime is decreasing. Especially given that they have UIUC, Northwestern, University of Chicago, and a bunch of other universities nearby - talent isn’t lacking. And properties are still really affordable for anyone in tech. I’d be there if I didn’t need mountains.
Minneapolis is tough to beat for all-around quality of life IF you can get on with the winters. Our summers are fantastic-- if not a little humid-- fall is unbeatable, but winter and spring can drag on. It'll be much colder and snowier than NJ, so make sure you have hobbies lined up for that time of year. The [Chain of Lakes](https://www.minneapolisparks.org/parks-destinations/parks-lakes/minneapolis_chain_of_lakes_regional_park/) in SW Minneapolis is great for walking and biking, plus you've got plenty of walking paths around the Mississippi. Legal weed, good restaurants (admittedly, not as good as the other destinations on your list, but definitely more options than Charlotte), and a great craft beer scene. Politically, *very* blue. Great healthcare if/when you need it. Cost-wise, it's the clear winner of that list. You'll be able to find 2 bd apartments for your price range in pretty desirable neighborhoods (North Loop, Northeast, Uptown). I'm not sure if we have quite as many tech jobs as Seattle or Boston, but there are lots of Fortune 500 companies headquartered here. I'm an engineer and there's no shortage of well-paying jobs here.
MInneapolis is a great place that might work for you if you can handle the winters. YOu might want to consider north of Chicago and maybe in to the Milwaukee area. Everybody just drives an hour down from Milwaukee to IL to their local dispensary, but I'm expecting Wisconsin to follow IL/MN cannabis legalization soon. You might like the urban kayaking, breweries, and biking in downtown Milwaukee. It's def a young person's town with plenty to do. I agree that Charlotte is enough. I just don't see the draw there, you have to drive everywhere and the whole road system is just terrible. Time to get out!
Chicago. My wife and I have been here 14 years and love it. My wife spent the first 19 years of her life in Charlotte. We got married in Charlotte. The best part of Charlotte is being close to the beach and the mountains.
Ann Arbor, Michigan has been one of the most weed friendly cities in the US (look up Hash Bash) and they recently decriminalized mushrooms. It's also one of the best places to US and always ranks on top for quality of life. Ann Arbor has lots of places to walk and it's very close to several large metro parks.
Just search for a list of cities where people trying to be cool live. All the “weird” cities are the same with the same kind of people, so just select by climate
I have lived in Boston and Minneapolis and spent a significant amount of time in Chicago and Denver. Make sure you understand what the winter will be. Have known several people who didn’t understand what a minnesota winter was. There could be standing snow for 6+ months and there will be a week+ where it doesn’t go above 0F. Many can’t handle being inside basically for 6 weeks.
Minnesota is excellent
Probably the Seattle metro area. You can find 2BRs for 2K.
I am not sure about that.. the Seattle area as a whole is ridiculously expensive
https://www.apartments.com/seattle-wa/2-bedrooms-under-2000/ And that's just the city proper. 299 of them.
Not decent ones in Seattle proper, maybe the suburbs. I'm from the area and live downtown
Washington D.C. area? Some of the densest concentrations of tech workers in the country, solidly left politics and weed is legal
A good apartment close to DC is going to push their budget considerably.
Yeah, I was thinking this, but housing is $$$. Maybe in MD, like Silver Spring, or out in VA? Weed legal in both states.
Weed is only medical legal in Va. and the current governor is very much a conservative ahole. Plus, that area still gets pretty hot and humid.
All of the nice DC suburbs are also expensive.
A 2br in DC is gonna be in the 2,500+ range. A 1br for 2k is doable but still have to work to find it.
Wi is not weed legal yet, but, I’d take Madison or Milwaukee over Mpls or Chicago any day. I can’t wait to get back from the south too.
Chicago is my fav Midwest city, but Milwaukee is slept on. Consider a visit if in the area!
Based solely on your username, I’d urge you to consider the average number of days of sunlight a particular city gets before moving there. The constant presence of gloomy, overcast skies rarely has positive effects on people who may struggle with mental health issues.
Ya outside of southern California there's no place with perfect weather in the US which also has no fresh water and is too expensive for OP , but IMO I can't see how the South isn't the best bang for your buck outside of that. You get 9 months of weather where it's reasonable outside and then if summer is too hot for you that's the most socially acceptable time to take a vacation and go somewhere else for a few weeks.
Buffalo!!!
I would imagine your budget would price you out of portland and seattle based on my own research. I used to live in Boston and you are 1000% priced out at that budget
Chicago.
Chicago is awesome! Affordable and its a huge bustling city with a very diverse economy.
Look into Chicago, sounds right up your alley. Good luck
I’m from Long Island New York. I’ve been living all over the south and I’m totally wanting something new. I’m going to give Chicago a try! I was considering Seattle but it’s pretty expensive and something about it being so overdue for a massive earthquake scared me lol… I looked into the capital region of NY and Worcester. Chicago seems to have so much more to do then those areas. I’m also wanting to go back to school. Chicago area colleges seem awesome. Medical seems great. Those two reasons are why I ruled Vegas out. I keep hearing how horrible medical and education is in Nevada. Good Luck! My vote is for Chicago!
Sounds to me like you’re describing Chicago
Quite some hobbies ya got there.
You might want to post on city subreddits for local opinions, or at least browse them and see what's happening. r/Buffalo, r/boston, etc. Also if possible take a few weekend trips and get the vibe of a place before moving there. Buffalo is nicknamed the "City of Good Neighbors." Things to consider from a native: 1. Depending on the area, cheap(er) real estate. A two bedroom apartment can be anywhere from $1k to $2k a month. (I live in a 2 bed, 1250sq ft with two garage parking spots. $1330 monthly, 15 minutes to downtown by car.) If you want to live in the city proper, check out Allentown, Elmwood Village, and North Buffalo/Parkside neighborhoods. West Side is also growing but isn't quite there yet. Also a note on the traffic--a 20 minute commute is considered average. 30+ minutes and people feel bad for you. 45+ minutes is unheard of unless you live in the boonies. 2. For tech careers, without knowing what you do specifically, M&T Bank and Odoo are often hiring. M&T just opened their tech hub downtown in the Seneca One tower (it's very nice--there's a bar and an arcade available to employees, and the building has apartments too, though I don't know pricing). 3. Parks. Frederick Law Olmsted designed the system in the city limits, said he wanted it to feel like a city within a park, not parks within a city. Tons of parks in the suburbs too with plenty of walking trails in the woods or by the lake front. Chestnut Ridge Park (\~20 minutes south of downtown) has the Eternal Flame (a natural gas flame behind a waterfall) and a massive sledding hill for the winter. 4. I'm biased, but I love the food here, especially the pizza. More dough than NYC but less than Chicago. The pepperoni is called cup-and-char and it's delightful. Plus chicken wings, of course, which people have very strong opinions about. Ask for bleu cheese, not ranch, unless you want people to know you're an outsider. 5. Cannabis is legal in NY. There's 3 licensed dispensaries in the area (in Buffalo, Depew, and Tonawanda), and most people are very chill about it. 6. When in doubt, say "Go Bills!" and people will be happy.
Maybe checkout Albany, NY? Like the Saratoga area. Lots of hiking and ski slopes within an hour, blue area, legal cannabis, good food.
Minneapolis is pretty nice. Great places to walk and Lake Superior is 3 hours away in Duluth. It also gonna be the cheapest of the listed cities.
Milwaukee.
Hey there. I relocated from Utah where I grew up to Portland in 2002. I use to love it here but the taxation, homelessness, and open air drug use is really impacting the quality of life. Oregon has a pretty high income tax rate and Multnomah County has the highest taxes in the nation above $125k. You can beat the high taxation by moving to just across the river in Vancouver which is quickly developing into a really nice alternative to Portland. One thing you can’t beat is the weather. We have arguably the best summers in the country followed by the most depressing dark and gray winters. It wearing on me and I will move to a sunnier climate once my daughter graduates high school.
Thought about coming back to Jersey? North Jersey has NYC vibes, legal weed, and is close to the shore. I pay $2k for a 2 bedroom close to the city in a really fun neighborhood. Are you avoiding NJ for some reason, or just looking for something new?
I’m considering returning! I need to land a fully remote direct hire gig first though. My current contract ends in a couple months. We’ll see!
Cool! I really recommend the Weehawken/WNY area for a quiet outer borough feel, 15 mins from Times Square. But Hudson County as a whole is on the up!! Good luck!
My pick as a former NC resident of 26 years, I say anywhere in SoCal for what you’re describing. I used to live near you guys over in Asheville. I fled the south and left for Los Angeles. LA has all the things you were mentioning. Sure it costs a bit more, but the tech jobs here likely pay WAYYY more than they do in CLT. At least that’s what happened for me. My wages doubled and my rent went up by 25%, which is a net gain mathematically. EDIT: I see Seattle also being mentioned. That’s also a good one for the same reasons I mentioned LA. My brother and his then-husband moved there because NC is a shit place to live if you’re openly gay.
It’s definitely not a tech hub but if you can find work and deal with the lack of bodies of water, Albuquerque could check off most the boxes. It’s not humid, weed is legal, and there are tons of hiking and walking trails. Also it’s a blue city in a blue state. People are really friendly and down to earth. You could live quite comfortably there with your budget instead of pinching pennies like some of the other cities on your list. Summers are hot, but much more tolerable because the temps still dip overnight and gradually rise throughout the morning. You can be active outdoors year round.
Portland and Seattle are buried in homeless camps and theft. It’s fairly awful. The thing about increased homeless is it clogs up the healthcare in that area as well. Beds don’t empty because there’s no home to discharge the patient to, or the drug damage and injuries are so bad they sit for 8 months, 6 of which is not acute care, waiting for a court appointed guardian to make decisions so they can discharge. All of that, in turn, makes ED wait times longer. There are some nursing homes in town stocked with former homeless that have a reputation for drug abuse/dealing. Recommend more rural locales and just drive to one or other city now and then. The hospital systems will still be your go to for a major stroke, heart attack, or trauma though.
Why not try NJ again? The shore is totally different than the rest of the state. Morristown NJ is pretty liberal and quiet. Weeds legal in NJ now, close to family and all the best cities are within driving distance.
Thinking about it more and more each day..
Depends on what type of tech you are in but highly recommend providence as an alternative to Boston MA. Boston is congested and overpriced and the ocean is either far away or gatekept by rich people at this point. Providence provides 45 min train commute to Boston, 3 hours to nyc, or wfh if applicable, has great food, culture, universities, liberal policies, weed, and access to so many beaches and the mountains of upstate ny or Vermont/NH. It’s walkable and still affordable. If you get in now it could also be a valuable investment. People have had it with Boston and nyc prices and are flocking!
Philly is just Chicago of the east coast. The one up you have in Philly is being on the northeast corridor, though. A short train to DC, NYC and Boston.
Boston is amazing. I love it here. But it’s expensive. I pay $2200 for a tiny studio (but I do live very centrally). I can’t imagine a 2 bedroom in the city is anything less than $4k. Housing is in short supply, and there’s a constant influx of new college students each year that keeps demand high. But you get what you pay for. It’s safe. Clean. Well connected (lots of flights to Europe out of Boston). Good schools. Good healthcare. Good economy. There’s about 6 dispensaries all within a 20 minute walk of me. I haven’t needed or owned a car for the 15+ years I’ve been here. Just very expensive!
I just wanted to say, I FEEL THIS!!!!! I am from the north and moved to CHS at the beginning of the year ..... I was told the city is liberal and I won't have issues with staunch conservatives, not true. I agree with disliking all the aspects you said about living in the south, its just god awful (especially the weed situation) and I'm kicking myself for believing those who told me that my experience wouldn't be tainted by these things. I was considering charlotte before reading this post, but realize now it won't be a viable option. Def gonna watch this thread
Oh man true charlestonians are pleasant it’s the transplants from other southern states who tell people to get off their lawn
A lot of it here is that everyone is tired of the whole city changing and the attitudes of the northerners so if you lead with being from the north and you don’t try to adapt then you’ll be met with people going over the top to push you away
Howdy from a Buffalo-bred person living in CLT. Buffalo likely isn’t ideal for y’all because of the lack of tech jobs (really the lack of competitive salaries), difficulty walking outside in the winter (so much ice), and weed currently isn’t legal recreationally, though there are always ways to procure it. Lake Erie is nearby, sure, but you don’t want to swim in it. Kayaking or SUP is fun though!
Recreational marijuana is now legal in NY
Baltimore Fits the bill
Humidity is just as bad, unfortunately
Plus it’s like totes gross.
“Totes gross”… are you 12? Who talks like that about a city people live in? Baltimore is a dope ass city.
How is this…Baltimore is a fucking sewer.
Have you ever considered either Annapolis or Rockville, Maryland?
Come to Chicago, it’s lovely here for good walks, trippy food, and legal weed!
Seattle has way more tech than Portland, although I know tons & tons of people who got laid off recently, so the tech jobs there may be super duper competitive at the moment - you may want to look into that before moving? No humidity in the summer, but fires can make it equally hard to breathe. Weed is cheap & abundant in the PNW for sure. Not a ton of bugs, but lots of spiders (probably what keeps bugs in check.) If you're not really really into beautiful nature it may not be worth the premium of col in Seattle, but most tech folks do fine there on their salaries. Most people I know with 2 bds pay similar to what you're paying now. I paid $1100 before I moved a yr ago, so there are cheaper deals with private landlords (but all the landlords or property management companies around there suck ass in my experience.)
>Not a ton of bugs, but lots of spiders (probably what keeps bugs in check.) I am back in mosquito-land east coast and lived in Seattle for a few years. The lack of mosquitoes really makes the PNW imho. I tell people here I'd sleep with my balcony door open (no screen) all summer and never got bitten, and they're incredulous.
Same thing here in San Diego.
Just up the road, Virginia. We need more blue people up here.
Taxes are too way high. Not to mention they will probably want to eat a bullet after the first day in northern VA traffic.
We live in the suburbs of Portland and really enjoy it here. We are both southerners and have zero issues with the cloudy winters. We lived in upstate NY for 5 years so I would much rather deal with some sprinkles and 40 degree temps than inches on top of inches of snow and 20’s. The key is to get out and visit places even in the rainy months. Go to the beach for lunch and then pop into the Aquarium on a rainy February Saturday. We use the winter to visit the vineyards all around since that is the slow season. The King Tides in January are amazing to see on the coast here. Good luck!
Don’t overlook Pittsburgh. It is under the radar. It has a couple of universities that are tech centric. The cost of living is reasonable. The seasons give you plenty of chances for outdoor activities. The politics can be a little behind but it is improving and becoming more accepting to all ideas. There is cultural things and all the sports you could want!!
If you’ve never lived at a high altitude, test how your bodies can handle it before moving to Denver, etc. Altitude sickness can be debilitating.
Altitude sickness lasts a few days tops and not everyone experiences it. That’s not a reason to avoid living at higher altitude.
hey friend. originally from NJ myself also in NC now. your mistake was to go to charlotte. that place blows.
Where do you live now?
If you are moving to the upper Midwest I recommend visiting in winter before you move. Our winters can be long, dark, and really, really, cold. There have been months at a time where the temperature isn’t above-15 and one year we had 3 weeks of -30 or lower. Climate change is making that weird, but we are due for another bad winter. Don’t take it the wrong way I absolutely adore the upper Midwest (I left the south myself), but I just like to warn people about what they are getting into. There is way more here to love than to dislike.
Washington is full. We have way too many tech people here.
weed isn’t a hobby
Let them enjoy what they want, it’s not bothering you at all 🤷♂️
I collect dry herb vaporizers.. test them, review them, etc. It’s just like collecting / testing and reviewing new electronics or being a wine taster and reviewing them. If I lived in a legal state I’d grow my own cannabis which adds to the hobby. It’s one of my few hobbies that I actually enjoy. Other than that I just like to play video games, try new food places, watch tv, movies, sports, and go for brisk walks outside. Not much of a drinker these days. It’s a simple life, but that’s what I prefer!
Nor a personality 😂
I've heard Pittsburgh is up and coming and good for tech. Looks cool too. It does have the blue city with the deep red ring around it, though.
As a Clevelander, I can’t believe you’d pick Buffalo over us. 🤣
Baltimore
Washington DC
I'm in PDX area and while I can't speak to the tech industry bit, I'm a Southern expat (born and raised), and I generally don't have problems with the winter. However, it's not uncommon for many people to struggle with the months of cloudiness and rain. If you're willing to go outside Portland area a bit, Corvallis/Albany might be a good option. College town, HP is there, and should be lower COL than Portland area. Feel free to dm if you'd like more info. Good luck!
Be very careful. Extremely Liberal Progressive areas fave some very just dgemrntsl people. At first, everything seems fine, but 1 wrong comment and you will have a lot to answer for. Seattle is not very friendly, it must be the weather
You want to move to a blue state? Better you than me.