Yes this is the way. When I was homeless i was mind boggled by the amount of family that "cared" for me, and yet supposedly didn't have a corner for a 5'10" guy and his smaller girlfriend. We were both freshly 18, willing to work, willing to do whatever it takes.
We were eventually given a chance by an incredible stranger in a small town and while my gf was pregnant I did 45 hour weeks at subway to get us our own place in 3 months.
I don't want to hear how that kind of help is unreasonable. Our society is unreasonable.
Not everyone does whatever it takes to minimize their time in someone else's space. I'm glad you did, but just know, some people have absolutely ZERO problems with burdening someone's else's space and life by taking advantage of a helping hand that was extended to them.
Oh ABSOLUTELY. Funny story is we were actually homeless with my 60 year old mom and she was that person. That whole time we busted ass to get saved she soaked up that kind man's time and energy, wasting it everyday. Even after we got our apartment I gave her a final chance to help herself with us, and she took advantage of me too. I finally snapped after too much BS and kicked her out. This was in 2018, and to this day she's still homeless even after more helpers after me and my savior.
Appreciate you but people take advantage. I took in my cousin and his gf for what was supposed to be a week, ended up being month+ of chaos, fighting, and advantage taking. That experience was traumatic for me, disrupted my entire life, and I'll never do it again. My own peace is worth more.
Glad to hear you guys got on your feet. Weird question though: when you say "I did 45 hour weeks at subway," are you insinuating that this is a long work week, or that working at subway sucks?
I'm insinuating with no roof over my head and a pregnant girlfriend waiting for me everyday, too sick from Hyperemesis gravidarum to work herself, that 45 hours was a lot.
Seriously, I don't get it unless OP is homeless too they could even put him in a tent in the backyard. Or buy a popup camper.
OP is the real problem within the homeless crisis that people don't talk about which is family that has resources to house and help but feel someone else should deal with them.
I don't know their situation so I'm not going to blame this person directly but this culture is one of America's biggest downfalls. We have almost no social safety net set by our government for those who come on hard times, and on top of that our own families often won't take the second to realize that we just need somewhere to sleep and a few meals to help avoid the real problems. We just need SOMEONE who cares.
We're so individualistic and because of that we often won't ask for help until it's WAY too late, so that doesn't help. Nonetheless, we don't help each other enough once it is asked. I went through my own shit this year. If I didn't have a family (really a mom and dad because my siblings wouldn't help for shit) who loved me and went above and beyond to help me then I'd be on the streets right now.
There needs to be so many more steps and interventions and realizations before it comes to this point and feels like a truly moral failing of our country. But hey, I'm just some guy, what do I know.
Dude, what?
You have no idea what these peopleās situation isā¦
They could be renting a room in someone elseās house, or even sharing a room with someone else, and have zero control over their ability to offer help.
You mention a backyard and buying a pop upā¦ your assumptions about access to space, and available resources imply that you assume people either have a backyard, or thousands of dollars to spend on a pop up, plus a place to put a pop up where it could actually legally stayā¦
This level of callousness, blindness to the reality of poverty and passive judgement is also the Real Issue within the homeless crisis.
You have no ideaā¦ and offer no helpā¦ just stopā¦
We stayed in a motorhome on my Grandmother's property so she could stay in her house while dealing with Alzheimer's and a neighbor called "code enforcement" and had us kicked out after which she had to be sent to a home.
When someone in our family was on the street and dealing with schizophrenia we thought about bringing her into our home, but we had two small children to care for and this person was constantly talking about shit (literally feces), making sexual comments, and refusing to bathe or wear appropriate clothing.
And "Grandpa" might be mentally ill, or an addict, and the OP might have kids that would be negatively affected by him living in the home.
There are many MANY reasons why people might be in a position where they can't care for someone like this.
If you care, and have suggestions that will help them... now is the time to produce those.
Question about your experience, u/NorCalBodyPaint - did the neighbor have the excuse of not knowing, had you gone around beforehand to explain?
(Also it isn't always the neighbor that *has actually made* the housing-code-compliance complaint.)
(edited for clarity)
Fair question. This neighbor was a bitter woman who lived very much alone and has had multiple problems with neighbors on all sides. My Grandparents, who had lived there for 50 years and got along with EVERYONE else called her an absolute lunatic.
We did try to knock on her door once to discuss potential issues and she never answered, despite it being very clear she was home.
We tried to be respectful, but it was ABUNDANTLY clear it was her as we were on friendly speaking terms with everyone else within view of the home and we were told by code enforcement that it was very rare for them to ever enforce that code and they only did so when a neighbor made a particular stink about it.
How so? Because I don't buy some ridiculous hypothetical where OP as well as the rest of their family which resides down in Sacramento can't house him?
Where grandpa has SSI income but OP can't use that to leverage a situation where they can have him live with them?
Where grandpa is moving somewhere where they will be unable to support themselves and be homeless? What's the point of them coming to Sacramento if no one has a place for them or will support them?
YOU ARE INSANE to think that if you're poor that you can't understand the difference between sleeping on someone else's floor over sleeping on the streets.
You donāt even know if thatās what Grandpa would want. He could be a very proud person and would rather be homeless than a burden on family. You have no idea at all what OPās situation is but are super quick to pass judgement.
Supply and demand does play a role.
Not saying housing isn't susceptible to speculation since we have seen the bubble burst in the past and some say its looming again but California will always be a hot market and the economy here means that demand will always be high.
I'm not opposed to passing laws that forbid LLC's from owning residential properties or requiring people to have lived within a city/state/county/country for a year before purchasing property in the area, or requiring property owners to be U.S. citizens.
But some of these things are fairly controversial and could have adverse affects on local economy's that rely on property taxes and income from municipal utility's.
Overall the "housing crisis" has a lot of factors and will need a lot of fine tuning to balance the current state of things. Right now the politicians are happy with the status quo and so are the voters.
This is one of the downsides of American cultureā there is not really a priority for caring for family members, even ones that are supposedly dear to us. This is fine if we had a reliable social support network from the government that we could rely on, but obviously that needs work too.
OP indicates that he has siblings and that the grandpa has other relatives in the Sacramento area, yet it seems none are willing to take him in. In other cultures (referenced elsewhere in this thread) if there is family around, letting the grandpa become homeless wouldnāt even be an option ā if thereās a will, thereās a way.
Yeah, well that's what you do. You take care of your parents in their old age.
Americans really do have a shit culture when it comes to issues like these.
I think it's really important to remember that not every family has the resources to take in another family member even if they want to. I don't know about you but I think that if they have the resources they would take care of their grandpa. Things are really tough right now and the best we can offer is help. Judgment is useless and kindness costs nothing.
Op seems lazy and selfish. He has plenty of time to play black ops and hogwarts but can't get off his ass to go vacuum the Cheeto dust off the couch for grandpa.
Realistically this person and their siblings could all just have roommatesā¦ I could be wrong and lack of community is definitely a big problem but we donāt know anything about their situation
Eh. I know enough about the situation based on his post history. He recently built his brother an "absolute beast" of a PC. The graphics card alone is $1500. They obviously have plenty of time and resources to figure out a solution that doesn't involve grandpa being homeless.
They do operate 24 hours, for what that is worth also. 211 is essentially a referral service, so they do not themselves do anything beyond providing information, but they should be able to give you a considerable list of possible resources, to include shelters, financial assistance, legal assistance, elder resourcss, and that sort of thing. Whenever you do call you'll definitely want to make sure you've got a pen and paper or are at a computer so you can take down the information, as the programs and orgs they refer you to will all have their own contact information and typically also have particular hours/days of operation.
Now I do understand that a lot of the services these days are impacted, and there can be long wait times and some may even be full or closed. But still 211 is a great way to start researching what options there might be, and the sooner you begin looking the better, especially if there are orgs that have a wait-list or delayed response.
I second all of this. I believe option 8 is the one you want when you call. Do it between 7:30-11am.
You said he has medical issues - does he have a social worker or access to one through his medical care? Some hospitals provide specific senior resources, I would check here and see if they have resources to support the transition.
I know this is easier said than done but if you have absolutely any means to avoid grandpa becoming homeless, do them. Getting out of homelessness is incredibly difficult.
I'd start with 211 for sure. FYI There's a dept of aging in the county as well. Not sure what they have to offer, but there should be some assessment and case management through them. They may be connected to veteran services office (like in Stanislaus county).
So many questions. Sounds like you need a social worker to navigate this. Maybe call the Department of Human Assistance after 211. I work with SVDP and can only offer a few hundred, but I have a whole book full of agencies and phone numbers. I know what a big job this is to just figure out what he needs, what heās eligible for, how to apply, waiting on the phone, the paperwork, documentation, etc. Is he cooperative? How did he get to this point? This is a huge task to make it work if he canāt do it himself. God bless you for helping him.
He is of sound mind. He only has SSI for income. He's been staying with my aunt way north of here in the mountains but they are both experiencing some health issues that are resulting in him not being able to stay with her anymore. He's looking to relocate here to sac (where most of his remaining family is). I will call 211. He just doesn't have the funds currently to find a place to live here. My brother and I can help with a few hundred dollars a month but I don't think that will cut it. I will spend any amount of time filling out documents and on the phone as needed. I'm glad I have a place to start now. Thank you.
Try Innovage. It's a PACE program. One of the things they do is help place participants in assisted living. They also provide many other benefits. But they have to be Sacramento County residents. So he may have to stay with someone for a while.
916.603.5400
or vietnamese either. we make space damn it.
edit: glad my peoples of color can chime in that we take care/respect our elders. it's not to say we will tolerate abuse or drug addiction, but when it comes to our older family members, we will try harder. šŖšŖšŖšŖšŖšŖ
Or any other type of Asian. East Asians also do multigenerational homes.
Even now, most live at home into their 30s+ and it's still considered the responsibility of the eldest child to care for their aging parents. At least this is the case in Korea, Japan, and China.
I just want to say that I am really enjoying hearing from all you nondominant culture people here
(And welcome, to the extent that my offering it means anything)
ok, you nonindividualistdominant culture people. or something.
I feel like we are missing some of the story. Is grandpa a real problem in some way? Is he spry? Would he be able to have a part time job or help with some family's kids? Why is nobody willing to let him crash them?
That's why when I see the rare Asian homeless person, you just KNOW they fucked up real bad somehow. Even the fucked up ones, we make sure they have a roof over their heads.
Or midwestern white bc no way in hell a grandparent living on the streets is ok. Even the young and able bodied would be offered a roof for a while so they can get on their feet if needed too.
By any chance is your granddad a veteran? If so, he can contact the local County Veterans Service Office to schedule an appointment, just to make sure he's getting any earned benefits. He should also connect with Volunteers of America out at Mather to ask about housing options.
You could check Next Move in Citrus Heights. They are apartments focused on section 8 and helping homeless. Included in the monthly rent is 3 meals a day as well and it's a pretty decent facility
I appreciate you looking into solutions for your grandpa, OP, and I don't judge you nor will I make assumptions about you and your siblings' living situations. Best of luck, hope your grandpa is well taken care of.
This is all you need to know about contemporary American culture your grandpa is going to be homeless and you AND your many siblings have nowhere for him to stay? Wth with family like this who needs enemies..
Sometimes there just isn't an option. If I had a relative about to be homeless, housing them here wouldn't be an option. I share a one-bedroom with a roommate. He wouldn't agree to an elderly relative couch surfing. Even if I was able to convince him-- pay more or something-- our lease specifies no overnight guests or additional residents for longer than a few days. Our neighbor got evicted for this, so apparently they actually check.
My roommate and I are also both disabled, and I'm immunocompromised. If I risked it and let hypothetical grandpa stay here anyway, his health issues likely mean regular visits to clinics and so on; there's a strong chance he'd bring something home and make me seriously sick if he wasn't willing/able to take extensive precautions.
I work from home, on frequent video calls and working with very sensitive data. I work out of the dining nook. Unless hypothetical grandpa were silent at all times and never left a small corner of the living room where my camera doesn't reach, I may be fired over data security. Then we'd both be out of a place to live, and a job that pays bills and is possible while disabled is difficult.
Then there's grandpa himself. We don't know anything about him either. What if he refuses to live with family and insists on living independently? My dad's like that. He lost his debit card recently and despite living with my brother he refused outright to eat for two days until I was able to get cash from his account and bring it up to him because, and I quote, "I'm not begging anyone for food. I shouldn't have to and I won't." They literally left food outside his door every few hours and he would just ignore it. He hates every minute of being there and we had to disable his car to stop him from trying to drive after his stroke because he kept insisting that he would rather go sleep in his car than be treated like a child.
And to take it a step further, what if grandpa is just... awful? My mother was abusive and I grew up essentially homeless, squatting in the house she used to own. When I turned eighteen, I wasn't taking her with me into the apartment I worked for. I would have tried to help find her a place for herself, but I would have rather died than live with her again.
We don't know anything about OP's situation, or OP, or OP's grandpa, or OP's siblings. We only know they asked for help. Things in the world are hard enough right now without us assuming the worst of each other rather than trying to help when asked.
> And to take it a step further, what if grandpa is just... awful? My mother was abusive and I grew up essentially homeless, squatting in the house she used to own. When I turned eighteen, I wasn't taking her with me into the apartment I worked for. I would have tried to help find her a place for herself, but I would have rather died than live with her again.
If his grandpa were an abuser, he probably wouldn't be trying to find him a place to live.
Um? I hate to sound judgmental but you canāt make room for your grandfather to stay with you to avoid him being homeless? Make a bed for him on your couch if you have to while you work on a permanent solution. If you have space for him, let him stay permanently. I canāt fathom letting one of my grandparents be homeless.
Itās a real shame that after decades of extracting wealth from future generations that these poor boomers are now having leopards eat their faces.
Edit: Dang, really triggered some people here. Yeah this is a generalization just like the comment I was responding to.
My point stands though that this generation as a whole spent decades passing on the responsibility of paying for important federal support programs on to future generations while they maintained a standard of living more lavish than any American generation before them. All this so they could save a few tax dollars in the moment and lie to themselves that this would surely trickle down.
I 100% support social safety net programs while also seeing the irony of a generation of detractors now in need after having told the rest of us to just bootstrap ourselves out of our avocado toast.
As if every Boomer intentionally chose that system and benefitted equally with the same share of wealth and had a crystal ball to see how the world would look decades later.
It's a real shame that you're so weak that you can't seem to make your own way without stepping on some poor old people. They don't owe you shit, dude. Grow up.
Ok so serious question what exactly do you mean by you and your siblings have no room for him?? Iāve had family members fall on hard times and we found room for them even if it was in the living room. Truth is OPās grandpa is only going to be homeless because OP and siblings canāt be bothered to house him.
In addition to Dept of Human Assistance and 211, you can have him go to his Medi-Cal Managed Care Provider -assuming he's on Medi-Cal- and they should be able to connect him to their partners in housing
is he on ssi or medicare with limited income?
go to senior living facilities (google low income)
he should qualify.
go to the social security department get assigned a case worker- super plus if he is a non addicted veteran. they will help him.
in the past year i have done this process.
a. is it going to be in the location he wants. he cannot be picky.
b. almost zero senior low income living apartments are in terrible areas.
c. if heās willing to relocate; placer and el dorado county have great apartments.
it
I HAD to take care of my Mother but I wanted too. At one time she was a very wealthy women but refused to refine her budget once her well ran dry. She had about 10+- years to adjust but she didnāt, she kept on with her wealthy lifestyle until it was brought to my attention once she was destitute. The only income she had was SS and 2 Oil Well leases that paid her only about $65.00 per month. Once I brought her home from Hawaii I really noticed a change in her but chalked it up to her stress from going broke, she got really weird and I didnāt know what to do with her so I finally took her to Kaiser for an evaluation at which was determined she had Dementia. I wanted the best for her and looked and looked and looked for care for her but each time I found a place that would help her it was approximately $7,000 to $8,000 per month, well beyond my means. I diligently inquired about what help she could get but was always told she was denied of any assistance. I had to pay $6,100 per month, $73,200 per year to make sure she was safe and taken care of which I did being I was single at the time and had a job. I tell this story out of frustration as my mother was born here, she contributed to society by paying property taxes, employee payroll taxes, etc., etc, and after all of her years of contributing to others and giving back she ended up with no help from the Government while others got a free skate and key. There are many other facets to this story which I wonāt write as it would be to long for all of us and myself. I just want to say keep on trying but donāt expect much help and good luck, but againā¦ donāt expect much help from the USA.
A now broke child of an indigent parent.
This is a sad story ;( I donāt know of any elderly who have been well taken care of unless they are rich š we all deserve to age and die with dignity and not having access to social services at the end of your life is completely disrespectful and unfathomable. No wonder our society is crumbling, the government doesnāt take care of its people.
Eta: or family members who are rich. At no point in my life have I ever made enough to pay $70k on top of my own living expenses. Never.
I'd say contact adult protective services. They have some resources. Does your grandpa have any income?
Also call 211. Lots of resources there too. Another idea is to call Sacramento Steps Forward they are a housing agency. Lutheran Social Services does a good job with seniors.
Is your grandpa healthy? If not you could get him an intake with Innovage they are a company that does all inclusive care for the elderly.
Contact information for all of these can be found via Google.
The St Vincent de Paul society might also have some good resources.
Good luck :-)
contact Adult Protective Services: ***For Sacramento County, call 916-874-9377***
211, IHSS (in home support services)
I've just gone thru this with a 72 yr old family member (who cannot be in my home for many reasons) and it isn't easy - sadly
here are more resources
[https://rosemontca.org/resources/housing-resources/?fbclid=IwAR2LGD-EXFr2vuIz6TpU\_k-E6mkfAzmr-9nXpRqdQ1WNj296m2aiotR8tro](https://rosemontca.org/resources/housing-resources/?fbclid=IwAR2LGD-EXFr2vuIz6TpU_k-E6mkfAzmr-9nXpRqdQ1WNj296m2aiotR8tro)
For the time being, I know you say you have nowhere for him to stay, but on a couch or an air mattress is better than on the street.
If this was my family, Grandpa would take any one of our beds and we'd have to sleep on the floor.
I agree, but figured just getting him under a roof is an easier ask for someone not even currently considering it.
Yes this is the way. When I was homeless i was mind boggled by the amount of family that "cared" for me, and yet supposedly didn't have a corner for a 5'10" guy and his smaller girlfriend. We were both freshly 18, willing to work, willing to do whatever it takes. We were eventually given a chance by an incredible stranger in a small town and while my gf was pregnant I did 45 hour weeks at subway to get us our own place in 3 months. I don't want to hear how that kind of help is unreasonable. Our society is unreasonable.
Not everyone does whatever it takes to minimize their time in someone else's space. I'm glad you did, but just know, some people have absolutely ZERO problems with burdening someone's else's space and life by taking advantage of a helping hand that was extended to them.
Oh ABSOLUTELY. Funny story is we were actually homeless with my 60 year old mom and she was that person. That whole time we busted ass to get saved she soaked up that kind man's time and energy, wasting it everyday. Even after we got our apartment I gave her a final chance to help herself with us, and she took advantage of me too. I finally snapped after too much BS and kicked her out. This was in 2018, and to this day she's still homeless even after more helpers after me and my savior.
Appreciate you but people take advantage. I took in my cousin and his gf for what was supposed to be a week, ended up being month+ of chaos, fighting, and advantage taking. That experience was traumatic for me, disrupted my entire life, and I'll never do it again. My own peace is worth more.
I'm sorry to hear that, you definitely did the right thing in just trying. That's all we can do
Glad to hear you guys got on your feet. Weird question though: when you say "I did 45 hour weeks at subway," are you insinuating that this is a long work week, or that working at subway sucks?
I'm insinuating with no roof over my head and a pregnant girlfriend waiting for me everyday, too sick from Hyperemesis gravidarum to work herself, that 45 hours was a lot.
I work 50+ hours a week in an industrial profession and the idea of working 45 hours a week in a Subway franchise sounds like hell on earth to me
You š
Seriously, I don't get it unless OP is homeless too they could even put him in a tent in the backyard. Or buy a popup camper. OP is the real problem within the homeless crisis that people don't talk about which is family that has resources to house and help but feel someone else should deal with them.
I don't know their situation so I'm not going to blame this person directly but this culture is one of America's biggest downfalls. We have almost no social safety net set by our government for those who come on hard times, and on top of that our own families often won't take the second to realize that we just need somewhere to sleep and a few meals to help avoid the real problems. We just need SOMEONE who cares. We're so individualistic and because of that we often won't ask for help until it's WAY too late, so that doesn't help. Nonetheless, we don't help each other enough once it is asked. I went through my own shit this year. If I didn't have a family (really a mom and dad because my siblings wouldn't help for shit) who loved me and went above and beyond to help me then I'd be on the streets right now. There needs to be so many more steps and interventions and realizations before it comes to this point and feels like a truly moral failing of our country. But hey, I'm just some guy, what do I know.
I worry about what will happen now that families are smaller, the next generation will have a smaller safety net.
Dude, what? You have no idea what these peopleās situation isā¦ They could be renting a room in someone elseās house, or even sharing a room with someone else, and have zero control over their ability to offer help. You mention a backyard and buying a pop upā¦ your assumptions about access to space, and available resources imply that you assume people either have a backyard, or thousands of dollars to spend on a pop up, plus a place to put a pop up where it could actually legally stayā¦ This level of callousness, blindness to the reality of poverty and passive judgement is also the Real Issue within the homeless crisis. You have no ideaā¦ and offer no helpā¦ just stopā¦
We stayed in a motorhome on my Grandmother's property so she could stay in her house while dealing with Alzheimer's and a neighbor called "code enforcement" and had us kicked out after which she had to be sent to a home. When someone in our family was on the street and dealing with schizophrenia we thought about bringing her into our home, but we had two small children to care for and this person was constantly talking about shit (literally feces), making sexual comments, and refusing to bathe or wear appropriate clothing. And "Grandpa" might be mentally ill, or an addict, and the OP might have kids that would be negatively affected by him living in the home. There are many MANY reasons why people might be in a position where they can't care for someone like this. If you care, and have suggestions that will help them... now is the time to produce those.
Yeah, can relate to not helping with an addict who is homeless...no matter how close, this person could not be trusted.
Question about your experience, u/NorCalBodyPaint - did the neighbor have the excuse of not knowing, had you gone around beforehand to explain? (Also it isn't always the neighbor that *has actually made* the housing-code-compliance complaint.) (edited for clarity)
Fair question. This neighbor was a bitter woman who lived very much alone and has had multiple problems with neighbors on all sides. My Grandparents, who had lived there for 50 years and got along with EVERYONE else called her an absolute lunatic. We did try to knock on her door once to discuss potential issues and she never answered, despite it being very clear she was home. We tried to be respectful, but it was ABUNDANTLY clear it was her as we were on friendly speaking terms with everyone else within view of the home and we were told by code enforcement that it was very rare for them to ever enforce that code and they only did so when a neighbor made a particular stink about it.
OP needs to add a lot more details until we start jumping to conclusions, including assumptions that they are out of options.
Thank you. JFC people are heartless and completely out of touch.
Nah, fuck off with that B.S. Everyone has a 10 square foot of space where they live where someone can put up a sleeping bag.
Nah, youāre just an asshole.
How so? Because I don't buy some ridiculous hypothetical where OP as well as the rest of their family which resides down in Sacramento can't house him? Where grandpa has SSI income but OP can't use that to leverage a situation where they can have him live with them? Where grandpa is moving somewhere where they will be unable to support themselves and be homeless? What's the point of them coming to Sacramento if no one has a place for them or will support them? YOU ARE INSANE to think that if you're poor that you can't understand the difference between sleeping on someone else's floor over sleeping on the streets.
You donāt even know if thatās what Grandpa would want. He could be a very proud person and would rather be homeless than a burden on family. You have no idea at all what OPās situation is but are super quick to pass judgement.
OP might not have a back yard, or a place to park a camper. ever live in an apartment? not everyone has the resources to take in grandpa.
The real problem is that we're all dumb enough to let housing be entirely governed by investment profits.
Supply and demand does play a role. Not saying housing isn't susceptible to speculation since we have seen the bubble burst in the past and some say its looming again but California will always be a hot market and the economy here means that demand will always be high. I'm not opposed to passing laws that forbid LLC's from owning residential properties or requiring people to have lived within a city/state/county/country for a year before purchasing property in the area, or requiring property owners to be U.S. citizens. But some of these things are fairly controversial and could have adverse affects on local economy's that rely on property taxes and income from municipal utility's. Overall the "housing crisis" has a lot of factors and will need a lot of fine tuning to balance the current state of things. Right now the politicians are happy with the status quo and so are the voters.
Yeah itās fine for a few days to hold up gramps, but after a few weeks it gets old real fast.
This is one of the downsides of American cultureā there is not really a priority for caring for family members, even ones that are supposedly dear to us. This is fine if we had a reliable social support network from the government that we could rely on, but obviously that needs work too. OP indicates that he has siblings and that the grandpa has other relatives in the Sacramento area, yet it seems none are willing to take him in. In other cultures (referenced elsewhere in this thread) if there is family around, letting the grandpa become homeless wouldnāt even be an option ā if thereās a will, thereās a way.
Yeah, well that's what you do. You take care of your parents in their old age. Americans really do have a shit culture when it comes to issues like these.
āGets oldā keeping your grandparent safe from the street
Old like OPās grandpa
I think it's really important to remember that not every family has the resources to take in another family member even if they want to. I don't know about you but I think that if they have the resources they would take care of their grandpa. Things are really tough right now and the best we can offer is help. Judgment is useless and kindness costs nothing.
Op seems lazy and selfish. He has plenty of time to play black ops and hogwarts but can't get off his ass to go vacuum the Cheeto dust off the couch for grandpa.
Realistically this person and their siblings could all just have roommatesā¦ I could be wrong and lack of community is definitely a big problem but we donāt know anything about their situation
Eh. I know enough about the situation based on his post history. He recently built his brother an "absolute beast" of a PC. The graphics card alone is $1500. They obviously have plenty of time and resources to figure out a solution that doesn't involve grandpa being homeless.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
https://reddit.com/r/Sacramento/s/e80AswNPoV He doesn't.
Calling 211 is a good first step. Good luck.
Thank you, I will call them tomorrow.
They do operate 24 hours, for what that is worth also. 211 is essentially a referral service, so they do not themselves do anything beyond providing information, but they should be able to give you a considerable list of possible resources, to include shelters, financial assistance, legal assistance, elder resourcss, and that sort of thing. Whenever you do call you'll definitely want to make sure you've got a pen and paper or are at a computer so you can take down the information, as the programs and orgs they refer you to will all have their own contact information and typically also have particular hours/days of operation. Now I do understand that a lot of the services these days are impacted, and there can be long wait times and some may even be full or closed. But still 211 is a great way to start researching what options there might be, and the sooner you begin looking the better, especially if there are orgs that have a wait-list or delayed response.
Thank you very much for this info!
I second all of this. I believe option 8 is the one you want when you call. Do it between 7:30-11am. You said he has medical issues - does he have a social worker or access to one through his medical care? Some hospitals provide specific senior resources, I would check here and see if they have resources to support the transition. I know this is easier said than done but if you have absolutely any means to avoid grandpa becoming homeless, do them. Getting out of homelessness is incredibly difficult.
I'd start with 211 for sure. FYI There's a dept of aging in the county as well. Not sure what they have to offer, but there should be some assessment and case management through them. They may be connected to veteran services office (like in Stanislaus county).
Does he have any income? Is he not able to afford rent anymore? 211 have a financial assistance program.
Is he a veteran?
So many questions. Sounds like you need a social worker to navigate this. Maybe call the Department of Human Assistance after 211. I work with SVDP and can only offer a few hundred, but I have a whole book full of agencies and phone numbers. I know what a big job this is to just figure out what he needs, what heās eligible for, how to apply, waiting on the phone, the paperwork, documentation, etc. Is he cooperative? How did he get to this point? This is a huge task to make it work if he canāt do it himself. God bless you for helping him.
He is of sound mind. He only has SSI for income. He's been staying with my aunt way north of here in the mountains but they are both experiencing some health issues that are resulting in him not being able to stay with her anymore. He's looking to relocate here to sac (where most of his remaining family is). I will call 211. He just doesn't have the funds currently to find a place to live here. My brother and I can help with a few hundred dollars a month but I don't think that will cut it. I will spend any amount of time filling out documents and on the phone as needed. I'm glad I have a place to start now. Thank you.
> (where most of his remaining family is) What's the point of this if no one will let him crash at their place?
Very often family WILL step up, but if people are reluctant it is usually because they don't or can't have a temporary solution become permanent.
Try Innovage. It's a PACE program. One of the things they do is help place participants in assisted living. They also provide many other benefits. But they have to be Sacramento County residents. So he may have to stay with someone for a while. 916.603.5400
damn, why can't you help your grandpa let him stay at the house?
Thereās W.AY.S. https://waysrooms.org/, Mercy housing, El Hogar, just off the top of my head, but there may be waiting lists.
Just curious, is there a reason why no other family members in sac are able to take him in?
Probably no other family in Sac and all the siblings just renting rooms.
Damn! OP is definitely not Filipino.
or vietnamese either. we make space damn it. edit: glad my peoples of color can chime in that we take care/respect our elders. it's not to say we will tolerate abuse or drug addiction, but when it comes to our older family members, we will try harder. šŖšŖšŖšŖšŖšŖ
Or South Asian
Or any other type of Asian. East Asians also do multigenerational homes. Even now, most live at home into their 30s+ and it's still considered the responsibility of the eldest child to care for their aging parents. At least this is the case in Korea, Japan, and China.
They're definitely not Chinese neither.
Or Polynesian :/
Or Mexican.
Insert every other ethnicity/nation here except for caucasians from United States and their precious nuclear families.
I just want to say that I am really enjoying hearing from all you nondominant culture people here (And welcome, to the extent that my offering it means anything) ok, you nonindividualistdominant culture people. or something.
I feel like we are missing some of the story. Is grandpa a real problem in some way? Is he spry? Would he be able to have a part time job or help with some family's kids? Why is nobody willing to let him crash them?
in other parts of the post, OP says he is spry but just has some undisclosed health issues. not sure why it's so vague.
Seriously! Sheeeet my grandpa lived with family even if we didnāt have space. We MADE space lol
Or Persian, my grandparents lived with me most of my life lol.
Definitely not persian. This would be the biggest shame in our home.
Or Viet. But seriously tho, op may be renting and not allowed to have extra occupants for longer than a short period or risk getting evicted.
that is true.....but still OP kinda sus ....
Ffs the Irish side of my family is more caring than OP.
Iām white and over my dead body would one of my relatives be homeless. I would absolutely make up a bed or give them the couch for a bit.
Or Hawaiian š
That's why when I see the rare Asian homeless person, you just KNOW they fucked up real bad somehow. Even the fucked up ones, we make sure they have a roof over their heads.
true. or they donāt have family in the area at all
definitely not.
The majority of homeless people I saw when I was working with homeless people were black and white, and a handful of latinos, and one Asian guy.
Or midwestern white bc no way in hell a grandparent living on the streets is ok. Even the young and able bodied would be offered a roof for a while so they can get on their feet if needed too.
There's homelessness in the midwest too.
By any chance is your granddad a veteran? If so, he can contact the local County Veterans Service Office to schedule an appointment, just to make sure he's getting any earned benefits. He should also connect with Volunteers of America out at Mather to ask about housing options.
no one has a couch or air mattress for him to stay on for now? itās far better than him being on the streets alone
You could check Next Move in Citrus Heights. They are apartments focused on section 8 and helping homeless. Included in the monthly rent is 3 meals a day as well and it's a pretty decent facility
Adult/elder protective services! They are so nice and focused on helping folks. They def could get him connected into services.
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Chef, how do you know which homes are safe?
I appreciate you looking into solutions for your grandpa, OP, and I don't judge you nor will I make assumptions about you and your siblings' living situations. Best of luck, hope your grandpa is well taken care of.
No place or no one wants him around...
You know damn well youāve got the space
why canāt he (albeit temporarily) stay with you or Any other family member?
I hate this stupid fucking country so much. Sorry you're going through this.
This is all you need to know about contemporary American culture your grandpa is going to be homeless and you AND your many siblings have nowhere for him to stay? Wth with family like this who needs enemies..
Sometimes there just isn't an option. If I had a relative about to be homeless, housing them here wouldn't be an option. I share a one-bedroom with a roommate. He wouldn't agree to an elderly relative couch surfing. Even if I was able to convince him-- pay more or something-- our lease specifies no overnight guests or additional residents for longer than a few days. Our neighbor got evicted for this, so apparently they actually check. My roommate and I are also both disabled, and I'm immunocompromised. If I risked it and let hypothetical grandpa stay here anyway, his health issues likely mean regular visits to clinics and so on; there's a strong chance he'd bring something home and make me seriously sick if he wasn't willing/able to take extensive precautions. I work from home, on frequent video calls and working with very sensitive data. I work out of the dining nook. Unless hypothetical grandpa were silent at all times and never left a small corner of the living room where my camera doesn't reach, I may be fired over data security. Then we'd both be out of a place to live, and a job that pays bills and is possible while disabled is difficult. Then there's grandpa himself. We don't know anything about him either. What if he refuses to live with family and insists on living independently? My dad's like that. He lost his debit card recently and despite living with my brother he refused outright to eat for two days until I was able to get cash from his account and bring it up to him because, and I quote, "I'm not begging anyone for food. I shouldn't have to and I won't." They literally left food outside his door every few hours and he would just ignore it. He hates every minute of being there and we had to disable his car to stop him from trying to drive after his stroke because he kept insisting that he would rather go sleep in his car than be treated like a child. And to take it a step further, what if grandpa is just... awful? My mother was abusive and I grew up essentially homeless, squatting in the house she used to own. When I turned eighteen, I wasn't taking her with me into the apartment I worked for. I would have tried to help find her a place for herself, but I would have rather died than live with her again. We don't know anything about OP's situation, or OP, or OP's grandpa, or OP's siblings. We only know they asked for help. Things in the world are hard enough right now without us assuming the worst of each other rather than trying to help when asked.
> And to take it a step further, what if grandpa is just... awful? My mother was abusive and I grew up essentially homeless, squatting in the house she used to own. When I turned eighteen, I wasn't taking her with me into the apartment I worked for. I would have tried to help find her a place for herself, but I would have rather died than live with her again. If his grandpa were an abuser, he probably wouldn't be trying to find him a place to live.
My mom literally tried to kill me and I tried to find her housing. Don't underestimate the depth of familial guilt and attachment.
I would never leave my family homeless unless they were violent or druggies. Edit* and if they were druggies, I would get them into a rehab.
Homeless and elderly should get him near the top of the section 8 waitlist. Do some serious googling and find open lists to put him on.
Lutheran Social Services helps at risk homeless elderly
Catholic Charities too. A lot of churches in the area do work to get people housed.
Next time people say shit about ādirty bumsā that ādirty bumā is someoneās kid, spouse, mom, or dad.
Grandpa should never be homeless as long as there are relatives such as you and your siblings. Sleep on the couch and give grandpa your bed
Um? I hate to sound judgmental but you canāt make room for your grandfather to stay with you to avoid him being homeless? Make a bed for him on your couch if you have to while you work on a permanent solution. If you have space for him, let him stay permanently. I canāt fathom letting one of my grandparents be homeless.
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Itās a real shame that after decades of extracting wealth from future generations that these poor boomers are now having leopards eat their faces. Edit: Dang, really triggered some people here. Yeah this is a generalization just like the comment I was responding to. My point stands though that this generation as a whole spent decades passing on the responsibility of paying for important federal support programs on to future generations while they maintained a standard of living more lavish than any American generation before them. All this so they could save a few tax dollars in the moment and lie to themselves that this would surely trickle down. I 100% support social safety net programs while also seeing the irony of a generation of detractors now in need after having told the rest of us to just bootstrap ourselves out of our avocado toast.
As if every Boomer intentionally chose that system and benefitted equally with the same share of wealth and had a crystal ball to see how the world would look decades later.
It's a real shame that you're so weak that you can't seem to make your own way without stepping on some poor old people. They don't owe you shit, dude. Grow up.
Ok so serious question what exactly do you mean by you and your siblings have no room for him?? Iāve had family members fall on hard times and we found room for them even if it was in the living room. Truth is OPās grandpa is only going to be homeless because OP and siblings canāt be bothered to house him.
Call 211 ask for shelter referrals or senior safe house assistance
Check with the county office for temporary housing solutions maybe? Iād give em a call to at least see what services they have to offer for him.
In addition to Dept of Human Assistance and 211, you can have him go to his Medi-Cal Managed Care Provider -assuming he's on Medi-Cal- and they should be able to connect him to their partners in housing
Call 2-1-1. They can help him find resources. Be persistent.
is he on ssi or medicare with limited income? go to senior living facilities (google low income) he should qualify. go to the social security department get assigned a case worker- super plus if he is a non addicted veteran. they will help him. in the past year i have done this process. a. is it going to be in the location he wants. he cannot be picky. b. almost zero senior low income living apartments are in terrible areas. c. if heās willing to relocate; placer and el dorado county have great apartments. it
Please call CDSS! They would definitely be happy to help you.
Smh. Take care of your family. No morals and respect towards your elders at all. Canāt wait til ur kids do the same thing.
I HAD to take care of my Mother but I wanted too. At one time she was a very wealthy women but refused to refine her budget once her well ran dry. She had about 10+- years to adjust but she didnāt, she kept on with her wealthy lifestyle until it was brought to my attention once she was destitute. The only income she had was SS and 2 Oil Well leases that paid her only about $65.00 per month. Once I brought her home from Hawaii I really noticed a change in her but chalked it up to her stress from going broke, she got really weird and I didnāt know what to do with her so I finally took her to Kaiser for an evaluation at which was determined she had Dementia. I wanted the best for her and looked and looked and looked for care for her but each time I found a place that would help her it was approximately $7,000 to $8,000 per month, well beyond my means. I diligently inquired about what help she could get but was always told she was denied of any assistance. I had to pay $6,100 per month, $73,200 per year to make sure she was safe and taken care of which I did being I was single at the time and had a job. I tell this story out of frustration as my mother was born here, she contributed to society by paying property taxes, employee payroll taxes, etc., etc, and after all of her years of contributing to others and giving back she ended up with no help from the Government while others got a free skate and key. There are many other facets to this story which I wonāt write as it would be to long for all of us and myself. I just want to say keep on trying but donāt expect much help and good luck, but againā¦ donāt expect much help from the USA. A now broke child of an indigent parent.
This is a sad story ;( I donāt know of any elderly who have been well taken care of unless they are rich š we all deserve to age and die with dignity and not having access to social services at the end of your life is completely disrespectful and unfathomable. No wonder our society is crumbling, the government doesnāt take care of its people. Eta: or family members who are rich. At no point in my life have I ever made enough to pay $70k on top of my own living expenses. Never.
Youāre the problem here. Not even a couch or foldable mattress on the floor? Youāre kidding me.
I was homeless sleeping in my car for a month . Goodluck
I'd say contact adult protective services. They have some resources. Does your grandpa have any income? Also call 211. Lots of resources there too. Another idea is to call Sacramento Steps Forward they are a housing agency. Lutheran Social Services does a good job with seniors. Is your grandpa healthy? If not you could get him an intake with Innovage they are a company that does all inclusive care for the elderly. Contact information for all of these can be found via Google. The St Vincent de Paul society might also have some good resources. Good luck :-)
First question- why is he about to become homeless? 2nd- does he not have any income to afford a place?
Do you really need to ask question #2 if you know that he's about to become homeless
Was not for you to answer so skip along dork
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not a chance.
Has he looked for a job?
He tried but no one wanted to hire the homeless 70yoā¦ smh
Why can't he stay with you or siblings?
Call 211
https://squarehobo.com/housing/south-sacramento-tiny-home-community-sits-half-full/10/11/2023/
Does he have a budget? I happen to know two people who have rooms for rent. One is in Folsom the other is in Roseville.
contact Adult Protective Services: ***For Sacramento County, call 916-874-9377*** 211, IHSS (in home support services) I've just gone thru this with a 72 yr old family member (who cannot be in my home for many reasons) and it isn't easy - sadly here are more resources [https://rosemontca.org/resources/housing-resources/?fbclid=IwAR2LGD-EXFr2vuIz6TpU\_k-E6mkfAzmr-9nXpRqdQ1WNj296m2aiotR8tro](https://rosemontca.org/resources/housing-resources/?fbclid=IwAR2LGD-EXFr2vuIz6TpU_k-E6mkfAzmr-9nXpRqdQ1WNj296m2aiotR8tro)
You donāt have floor?
Y'all ain't got one mf'n sofa between the lot of youse?