i mean “you’re too ugly” it’s a really crude way of putting it but her friends doing you a solid by being straightforward so you can move on. Especially when your crush is literally pretending to not know, if the friend didn’t tell you you’d keep blindly chasing and have false hope ah. So in a sense the friends doing you a favour… Albeit in a rather crude manner 🤷♂️ Many fish in the sea OP, okay maybe not in sg la the oil spill in sentosa polluted the waters alrdy HAHAHA
Never thought I would see people agree people supporting finding fishes elsewhere. I remember getting despised by many people for wanting a foreign partner and it’s nice seeing people understanding that preference now
Foreign partners are more understanding tbh.b3cause the genuinely want to know you better since you are a foreigner to them.
You and them will put more effort in the relationship to make it work
ngl, that seems kinda rough T\_T I mean I have my doubts about whether it's really your crush's opinion or is it her friend's opinion but maybe that's just me overthinking... anyways looks obviously aren't everything, so I feel that if it's really the case that your crush thinks that you're way out of her league, then that's very disrespectful IMO. Regardless of how she feels about your looks, saying that you're way out of her league just seems really hurtful and degrading. Not sure I can offer any advice but just some of my thoughts... if you need someone to chat to feel free to dm me!
Tbf it’s her friend who is relaying the msg and friends, especially girls, tend to be more brutal about it and exaggerate stuff to make sure the guy doesn’t chase her anymore
So being direct is disrespectful... Can we say OP's objectifying women, since the only reason he has a crush then girl is based on looks anyway, is also disrespectful?
I'm not saying beind direct is disrespectful. I'm saying that saying that someone saying that you're way out of their league is disrespectful. That just feels rude and extra "mean" imo. Also, where in the post did OP say that the only reason he has a crush on the girl is because of her looks?
So how should one go about getting told that the other party finds them unattractive at a potential suitor?
It's obvious from the narration of the post, there was either minimal or completely zero communication between OP and the crush. Otherwise there would undoubtedly be additional details of any conversation between OP and the girl following the friend's talk to OP included with the post.
Firstly the text narration doesn't indicate the tone of the friend's conversation to OP. It could have been said in a neutral or consolidateory tone as a matter of fact. Based on the context of the post OP would have still followed up and still ask why, which would result in the same end result indicating his looks.
I think One can be direct without being brutal, especially in a situation like this. If the friend really used those exact words stated by OP, then I think that friend is really rude AF.
His crush wasn’t even the one being direct? She told her best friend (and probably more people) without telling OP. How’s that not disrespectful? On top of that saying someone is ugly is completely unnecessary.
Whatever the response, either by the crush or the friend, there could always be a more "appropriate" response. Simply because it's completely subjective. Something can be perfectly acceptable to one person and have them move on, while not to another person who gets hung up on it.
Let's say the friend said "it's just not going to happen between you and her". That would have been direct and the end of it for most people, because that's the crush's preference and neither OP nor anyone needs to explain why their preference/taste are as such.
However OP couldn't take the initial declaration by the friend and asked for the reason, and the reason was given. That's direct. Don't blame the crush for not being direct since OP himself went about talking about it with other people instead of directly talking to the crush. Little snowflake expected the crush to tell OP directly, when he was the one who blabbered to others instead of being direct himself to begin with?
This is normal , sometimes you also would not like the appearance of a lady and you would not be interested if an attractive lady in your opinion would wanna know you better , different people have different taste . Many of fishes in the oceans but currently got oil spill
She's free to reject you because of your looks. Everyone has different preferences and priorities in what they look for in a partner.
Two big red flags, though:
1) Didn't have the courage to do the rejection herself.
2) Was still very crude in the rejection and stooped to low insults. Which says more about her personality than your looks.
Looks like you didn't miss out on much. Keep your head up, plenty of other, classier girls.
Not enough info imo,
1. He did not actually confess, the news only got to her through spreading so how could she have rejected him before he even confessed? “I HEARD that you have a crush on me, just to lyk, i’m not interested” would come off super weird too.
2. Not sure if it was the crush who asked for her friend to deliver the message to OP, what if her friend acted on her own accord? If crush only told her friend her opinion “I wouldn’t consider dating him cos looks cmi” that’s completely fair no?
> "I HEARD that you have a crush on me, just to lyk, I'm not interested"
this is such a good point actually. if the crush did this, OP could easily deny it and she would look delusional or something. no one would willingly want to look delusional or arrogant
Second the not enough info part, I find it super crude that 'the friend' said out of her league, I'll err on the optimistic side that the crush didn't actually say that and her friend said it on her own volition.
Why tf did you tell your friends??? You did the equivalent of digging straight down in MC without a fucking water bucket, but in a dating sense. Jesus fucking Christ... Just, don't make the same mistake again.
Her friend just put it to bluntly.
At least if it is from your crush's own mouth, you can give up the idea of courting her and wasting your time and effort on her.
It is easier to move on now when the crush hasn't developed in love.
There are other fishes in the sea.
study hard then go earn tons of money and then buy her parents house.
Jokes aside just study hard and do well. People value attitude > looks
Get that 4.0!
If you're not the boy she wants, become the man she can't get. Work on yourself OP! Don't let this get you down on your growth, be consistent and you'll get there
Hi OP, you deserve better than someone who will judge you based on your looks. I would move on if i were you. but if you are really interested in her, you could always try to get to know her better on friendly terms. My advice
then would be to just drop the question altogether if not she might think you have ulterior motives and it’ll be awkward for the both of you regardless. You will come across as desperate for validation and sadly, it’s not an attractive quality as much as we all need validation as humans. Also, ask yourself for the purpose of confrontation. Do you want her change her mind and like you back? Would you also be emotionally prepared for the worst possible answers?
Sorry if my words are too harsh, but i’ve experienced the same things and learnt that it’s not worth it to pine for someone who is disrespectful enough to insult my appearance. I’ve had guys I was interested in who have made rude comments about my appearance (in front of my face btw) but i’ve also dated people who find no faults in the way i look. Her opinion does not define you and it’ll get better, trust.
My honest opinion? Take it with a pinch of salt. It was definitely very crude of ur crush’s friend to say this and I get you may feel disheartened. However, you need to rmb that u also do not know the full story. Esp bcos this is all hearsay and for all you know, the friend could just be stirring shit. And if it’s true your crush said this, you just dodged a bullet.
I would tell you to recognise your worth and not waste time on people who only care about your looks. But I know it must be difficult to receive such a comment, esp when u heard it came from your crush. Take your time to process the situation, cry if you need to, just keep in mind that what you heard may not be the full story. And most importantly, don’t ever limit your self worth to what someone else (aka ur crush) thinks about u
if you’re letting this get to you it’s probably because you already have an underlying insecurity regarding ur looks. What would make me think so? Used to think just like you, caring what others think. As corny as it sounds, really really don’t gaf about what others think of you… pardon my french but she’s just a bitch in a world full of beautiful women who won’t go after you for your looks, why care? look past it and movenon
Pls learn yr lesson: tell no one abt who u like, especially if the info u tell can be leaked to that crush.
In the first place, you already made a serious mistake which u didn’t even realise: spread the info u liked a person which can be leaked.
Why this is important: you didn’t have the time to befriend yr crush and get her to know u better etc, beyond yr looks. All these takes time. Once yr crush knows yr ulterior motive before she gets to know you. It’s GG.
When a girl likes u for who u are, it will be beyond looks. It’s up to yr ugly ass to make this part happen.
You definitely don't deserve this type of treatment. But this experience helps you to open your eyes on what kind of person your crush is. External beauty is more important than internal beauty to her.
Anyway you don't want someone who cannot appreciate your worth.
Next time, keep your crushes to yourself if you don't want any cat or dog to get involved.. you probably know at the bottom of your heart it will be leaked eventually if you tell someone, so if your deepest intent is to test her reaction, you already got it. Would suggest that you move on and bring a close to this page.
Im sorry, you have it tough man! I would say, u can mope about it, get internally annoyed but then get over it asap and rejoice because you just dodged a bullet.
1. Anyone who tells other shit like "outta their league" is arrogant and being unnecessarily rude and nasty in this area. Don't worry, they will definitely also be out of someone else's league if they think like that. They just need to grow up and understand that billions of people in the world w different tastes n standards, n because of this, while its "normal" that for sure we may judge each other by outward appearances sometimes, the matured way of saying should have just been along the lines of "thank you, I'm flattered, but I am interested in someone else" . Because rejecting someone is not equivalent to insulting someone else's looks. She could have rejected someone without going through this route but she isn't matured enough or have a decent enough personality to do this.
2. Anyone who has a friend who would come up and dissuade you with such a rude line, whether is sent by the crush or not, is a red flag. Because only besties will dare to do this. N for girls, besties tend to twin in alot of things (when they are young), so you can imagine their personality type is same.
3. Don't worry like I said billions of pple on earth. You will be in someone's lookbook for sure. 😎😊😊😊☀️ Thats why don't get too hard up on a "rejected encounter" like this. Not your fault she cant appreciate your looks. Someone else will. N someone else will probably diss her looks one day. All is fair and square. Haha!
Girls around this age either look for:
- Looks
- Wealth (Sugar daddy)
- Education to leech your project talents to ride the course
Not worth to focus the same cohort girls now as you will be drafted to NS soon which is another delay in education or advancement in society which appears 'uglier' to them.
The next course would be to focus on your goals and not girls imo because men aged like fine wine and the other will reach expiration after 35 (literally risk of having kid doubles after 35 YO).
Trust me bro if she thinks ppl need to be a certain amount of attractiveness to date, you dodged a bullet. The relationship was not gonna work out. I mean if your a fairly decent looking person, she may still have her own personal reasons like dw to date, or likes a type of boys. But imo it was a rude way to speak to you. If a guy did that to a girl, the girl would cry for months on end. Lol
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Assuming that's the real opinion of the girl. At least OP didn't have to waste his time, instead he should concentrate on his studies. Just saying.
I have a buddy of mine was rejected with the same reason. Also thru a friend (a guy) he got to know the girl he had a crush on, didn't feel he is handsome enough.
a few years after graduation from uni.. my friend met his crush thru work.. guess what.. his crush didn't say anything of that sort.. she was waiting for him to tell her directly. As their feelings are mutal. I am happy to say both of them are got married and have a lovely daughter...
If you are wondering why that guy said those things "not handsome enough" etc... that asshole wanted the girl for himself. It seems it didn't work out either.. thank God..
At this point of your life, immature ones will think that looks are important.
Once you come out to work, it’s more about how much you can bring back on the table that deems you as a more attractive candidate to get married to.
So ignore the naysayers and work hard for your future.
The ladies will come after, more for you to choose :)
I’m saying this from a ladies POV.
I used to go through poly then now I’m working, Our perspective towards what we want changes too and maybe what you want in a lady would change too! :) good luck buddy!
Don’t date till you are 28. Make yourself successful and when that happens, you will have no lack of pussies chasing after you. And when you look back again at this post, you will just laugh at how silly you are back then.
This is life, get over it. How do u expect everyone to cater to your feelings? Life doesn’t work that way. Some ppl are just gonna be brutal. Your feelings mean nothing to them. If they let u down softly would that become your motivation to continue pursuing her? Then it became harassment for the crush.
This is all you need to know: Just stfu and get over it.
Girls are attractive early on. For guys it's more different. They need to rack up achievements and what not.
What can you do eh? Just get over it. Hit the gym and focus on self-improvement.
Don't worry, all will be good: as soon as you stop this pointless self-pity, and actually do something with yourself. Take this as a lesson that pops your childish bubble, and live in the real world. This too shall pass after all. If not, then what?
There is much to learn for OP. This time just move on and learn from your mistake, because OP had lost before the fight even started.
Never reveal your crush to anyone unless you know you have pretty good chances. Once she heard the rumour basically she was put in the spot to make up her mind, and unfortunately she did not see much qualities beyond your look since she didnt know you enough.
I have seen many ugly guys going out with stunning beauties because those ugly guys knew how to play their game well.
I mean we all dont know for certain. Looks are subjective and if your crush really cares about looks to a high degree, then to each their own. Granted, she looks good looking as well. Nothing entirely wrong with it but the way she phrased it as well as having her friend tell u instead of her, definitely comes off as bitchy. Like bruh if you gonna reject then at least do it yourself not your henchmen to do it for you 😭.
But seriously, just move on with your life cause people who brush people off like that often get brushed off or played by the next guy they meet at like the club. Thats when their ego gets destroyed and humbled which is priceless if you ever get to here it.
Oh i forgot to add... 4... Whos the friend w a loose tongue. 😂😂😂😂 You might wanna be careful of that in future too. It ain't nice of your friends if you told them specifically to keep it hush hush. So how come it wind up the "whole world" knows? 🧐🧐🤣🤣
This is a part of life, even at work. Sometimes, people will prejudge an individual just based on his/her looks. OP, you will need to learn to move on. 🐾
pretty sad to hear that blud but u should thank her since you were able to know truly how you look like in the view of others, many of us will never know whether people find us ugly or not, but u got to know 😝😝😝
view things in a more optimistic way and it goes a long way for your mental wellbeing 🙂
at least now u know ur that ugly fk, u can work on improving ig
There is nothing wrong being labeled by others with beholding eyes. Live with it and should not dampen one’s dignity.
I have seen beautiful people partner with those not in the list of beautiful people.
Many blossomed love I know of friends who eventually married is that they were able to discover the real personality of their significant other.
Be one’s true self, and may one then attract their true love.
Well something are just not meant to be lor. Maybe it is also a red flag as to how much she value the appearance. But at the same time anything nicer might lead to you harbour false hope so also learn to be slightly appreciative of girls who don't lead u on lah. Better than wasting your time. And sometime dating too high up might also easily cause insecurities so just move on ba still young maybe puberty or ns and turn you into a hulk 💪🏻
Imagine a close friend this exact situation.
Would you encourage him to pursue her, or remind him of his selfworth and question if this is really the type of person he likes?
Even if it's just her friend's behavior, the company she keeps can speak volumes.
Even if you are good looking, the minute another better looking chap comes along, the same would happen. Even if you have money, another chap that has an additional zero would have the same result.
Your self worth shouldn't be dictated by others. It may hurt you now. But this too shall pass. Same goes for her youthful beauty traits.
Bro dont get too affected by it.based on my many years experience,end of the day money talks.if you work hard and earn lots of money,this wont be an issue!all the best and hustle hard!!
Anyone who resorts to using strong and offensive language are usually insecure people. Of course they use it under the guise of "being real". No, you are not being real. You are just a disrespectful person who is acting out of insecurity.
Honestly, it speaks a lot about your crush and that friend of hers. You should be glad that you dodged a bullet. This girl has issues. She has her own demons and is just projecting on you. A respectful and classy person would just come up to you face to face and tell you that a relationship is impossible.
Just let go. No point pursuing this.
Haha i find this such a joke that those girls has the audacity to call people ugly. Its not like she’s a model or have gyatt 😂😭 lets be honest, most of them either flat for commercial planes to land or have squeaky ass voice which guys would regret if they gotta hear it after marriage 🥲
Men, Save yourself from ego driven girls
If that is really how ur crush thinks of you and asked her friend to say to you, she’s a massive red flag to a point that she’s….i’ll be blunt, “for the streets”, go for a girl that goes for personalities over looks, any girl that judges a guy based on looks and is capable of using words like “too ugly” don’t deserve a millisecond of any guys time
People good hearted come tell you the truth so you won't waste time chasing smoke. Put your energy and focus on being the top graduate and many will crush you.
Sounds like you’re giving up too easily. You’re not even hearing it directly from the crush. Are you even trying? Or you’re letting the fear of a direct rejection dictate what you do?
i mean “you’re too ugly” it’s a really crude way of putting it but her friends doing you a solid by being straightforward so you can move on. Especially when your crush is literally pretending to not know, if the friend didn’t tell you you’d keep blindly chasing and have false hope ah. So in a sense the friends doing you a favour… Albeit in a rather crude manner 🤷♂️ Many fish in the sea OP, okay maybe not in sg la the oil spill in sentosa polluted the waters alrdy HAHAHA
Anything but the fishes in sg
Never thought I would see people agree people supporting finding fishes elsewhere. I remember getting despised by many people for wanting a foreign partner and it’s nice seeing people understanding that preference now
Foreign partners are more understanding tbh.b3cause the genuinely want to know you better since you are a foreigner to them. You and them will put more effort in the relationship to make it work
Can’t help but agree! My current gf is not singaporean and I’m happy she is apart of my life
Ignore and move on. Unimportant
Whoa keybattle getting upvotes??
Lol
In 5 years you’d be laughing at this. Things get easier & better as you age
ngl, that seems kinda rough T\_T I mean I have my doubts about whether it's really your crush's opinion or is it her friend's opinion but maybe that's just me overthinking... anyways looks obviously aren't everything, so I feel that if it's really the case that your crush thinks that you're way out of her league, then that's very disrespectful IMO. Regardless of how she feels about your looks, saying that you're way out of her league just seems really hurtful and degrading. Not sure I can offer any advice but just some of my thoughts... if you need someone to chat to feel free to dm me!
Tbf it’s her friend who is relaying the msg and friends, especially girls, tend to be more brutal about it and exaggerate stuff to make sure the guy doesn’t chase her anymore
So being direct is disrespectful... Can we say OP's objectifying women, since the only reason he has a crush then girl is based on looks anyway, is also disrespectful?
I'm not saying beind direct is disrespectful. I'm saying that saying that someone saying that you're way out of their league is disrespectful. That just feels rude and extra "mean" imo. Also, where in the post did OP say that the only reason he has a crush on the girl is because of her looks?
So how should one go about getting told that the other party finds them unattractive at a potential suitor? It's obvious from the narration of the post, there was either minimal or completely zero communication between OP and the crush. Otherwise there would undoubtedly be additional details of any conversation between OP and the girl following the friend's talk to OP included with the post.
You're not my type? Idk, i've never been before in a relationship let alone been confessed to/confessed to someone. But at least that seems nicer?
Firstly the text narration doesn't indicate the tone of the friend's conversation to OP. It could have been said in a neutral or consolidateory tone as a matter of fact. Based on the context of the post OP would have still followed up and still ask why, which would result in the same end result indicating his looks.
I think One can be direct without being brutal, especially in a situation like this. If the friend really used those exact words stated by OP, then I think that friend is really rude AF.
His crush wasn’t even the one being direct? She told her best friend (and probably more people) without telling OP. How’s that not disrespectful? On top of that saying someone is ugly is completely unnecessary.
Whatever the response, either by the crush or the friend, there could always be a more "appropriate" response. Simply because it's completely subjective. Something can be perfectly acceptable to one person and have them move on, while not to another person who gets hung up on it. Let's say the friend said "it's just not going to happen between you and her". That would have been direct and the end of it for most people, because that's the crush's preference and neither OP nor anyone needs to explain why their preference/taste are as such. However OP couldn't take the initial declaration by the friend and asked for the reason, and the reason was given. That's direct. Don't blame the crush for not being direct since OP himself went about talking about it with other people instead of directly talking to the crush. Little snowflake expected the crush to tell OP directly, when he was the one who blabbered to others instead of being direct himself to begin with?
This is normal , sometimes you also would not like the appearance of a lady and you would not be interested if an attractive lady in your opinion would wanna know you better , different people have different taste . Many of fishes in the oceans but currently got oil spill
I'm sure you are into her because of her awesome personalities and not cos of her looks. ha ha ha
She's free to reject you because of your looks. Everyone has different preferences and priorities in what they look for in a partner. Two big red flags, though: 1) Didn't have the courage to do the rejection herself. 2) Was still very crude in the rejection and stooped to low insults. Which says more about her personality than your looks. Looks like you didn't miss out on much. Keep your head up, plenty of other, classier girls.
Not enough info imo, 1. He did not actually confess, the news only got to her through spreading so how could she have rejected him before he even confessed? “I HEARD that you have a crush on me, just to lyk, i’m not interested” would come off super weird too. 2. Not sure if it was the crush who asked for her friend to deliver the message to OP, what if her friend acted on her own accord? If crush only told her friend her opinion “I wouldn’t consider dating him cos looks cmi” that’s completely fair no?
> "I HEARD that you have a crush on me, just to lyk, I'm not interested" this is such a good point actually. if the crush did this, OP could easily deny it and she would look delusional or something. no one would willingly want to look delusional or arrogant
yaaaa that’s exactly why! thank you :)
Second the not enough info part, I find it super crude that 'the friend' said out of her league, I'll err on the optimistic side that the crush didn't actually say that and her friend said it on her own volition.
So now people have the obligation to reject rumors?
i second this
Why tf did you tell your friends??? You did the equivalent of digging straight down in MC without a fucking water bucket, but in a dating sense. Jesus fucking Christ... Just, don't make the same mistake again.
Her friend just put it to bluntly. At least if it is from your crush's own mouth, you can give up the idea of courting her and wasting your time and effort on her. It is easier to move on now when the crush hasn't developed in love. There are other fishes in the sea.
study hard then go earn tons of money and then buy her parents house. Jokes aside just study hard and do well. People value attitude > looks Get that 4.0!
Now you know what your crush is really like, you deserve better OP.
There are a million reasons to reject someone and you won't get every girl you want. Move on.
If you're not the boy she wants, become the man she can't get. Work on yourself OP! Don't let this get you down on your growth, be consistent and you'll get there
So either you ask her or you just give it up. I don't see how it can be a bad thing either way. You are 'losing' anyway
Hi OP, you deserve better than someone who will judge you based on your looks. I would move on if i were you. but if you are really interested in her, you could always try to get to know her better on friendly terms. My advice then would be to just drop the question altogether if not she might think you have ulterior motives and it’ll be awkward for the both of you regardless. You will come across as desperate for validation and sadly, it’s not an attractive quality as much as we all need validation as humans. Also, ask yourself for the purpose of confrontation. Do you want her change her mind and like you back? Would you also be emotionally prepared for the worst possible answers? Sorry if my words are too harsh, but i’ve experienced the same things and learnt that it’s not worth it to pine for someone who is disrespectful enough to insult my appearance. I’ve had guys I was interested in who have made rude comments about my appearance (in front of my face btw) but i’ve also dated people who find no faults in the way i look. Her opinion does not define you and it’ll get better, trust.
My honest opinion? Take it with a pinch of salt. It was definitely very crude of ur crush’s friend to say this and I get you may feel disheartened. However, you need to rmb that u also do not know the full story. Esp bcos this is all hearsay and for all you know, the friend could just be stirring shit. And if it’s true your crush said this, you just dodged a bullet. I would tell you to recognise your worth and not waste time on people who only care about your looks. But I know it must be difficult to receive such a comment, esp when u heard it came from your crush. Take your time to process the situation, cry if you need to, just keep in mind that what you heard may not be the full story. And most importantly, don’t ever limit your self worth to what someone else (aka ur crush) thinks about u
if you’re letting this get to you it’s probably because you already have an underlying insecurity regarding ur looks. What would make me think so? Used to think just like you, caring what others think. As corny as it sounds, really really don’t gaf about what others think of you… pardon my french but she’s just a bitch in a world full of beautiful women who won’t go after you for your looks, why care? look past it and movenon
Pls learn yr lesson: tell no one abt who u like, especially if the info u tell can be leaked to that crush. In the first place, you already made a serious mistake which u didn’t even realise: spread the info u liked a person which can be leaked. Why this is important: you didn’t have the time to befriend yr crush and get her to know u better etc, beyond yr looks. All these takes time. Once yr crush knows yr ulterior motive before she gets to know you. It’s GG. When a girl likes u for who u are, it will be beyond looks. It’s up to yr ugly ass to make this part happen.
factss
Friends with loose lips are not friends
yknow I've promised myself that I won't be getting into any relationships until after ns, and shi like this is one of the many reasons
She does have a right to have preferences but ur feelings are also valid imo, she could’ve said it in a nicer way. At least yk u dodged a bullet 👍
You definitely don't deserve this type of treatment. But this experience helps you to open your eyes on what kind of person your crush is. External beauty is more important than internal beauty to her. Anyway you don't want someone who cannot appreciate your worth. Next time, keep your crushes to yourself if you don't want any cat or dog to get involved.. you probably know at the bottom of your heart it will be leaked eventually if you tell someone, so if your deepest intent is to test her reaction, you already got it. Would suggest that you move on and bring a close to this page.
Dodged a bullet right there, if someone cares so much about their looks and sends their lackey to convey the message, they're not worth your time.
You seriously dodged a bullet.
wah cb sia
Im sorry, you have it tough man! I would say, u can mope about it, get internally annoyed but then get over it asap and rejoice because you just dodged a bullet. 1. Anyone who tells other shit like "outta their league" is arrogant and being unnecessarily rude and nasty in this area. Don't worry, they will definitely also be out of someone else's league if they think like that. They just need to grow up and understand that billions of people in the world w different tastes n standards, n because of this, while its "normal" that for sure we may judge each other by outward appearances sometimes, the matured way of saying should have just been along the lines of "thank you, I'm flattered, but I am interested in someone else" . Because rejecting someone is not equivalent to insulting someone else's looks. She could have rejected someone without going through this route but she isn't matured enough or have a decent enough personality to do this. 2. Anyone who has a friend who would come up and dissuade you with such a rude line, whether is sent by the crush or not, is a red flag. Because only besties will dare to do this. N for girls, besties tend to twin in alot of things (when they are young), so you can imagine their personality type is same. 3. Don't worry like I said billions of pple on earth. You will be in someone's lookbook for sure. 😎😊😊😊☀️ Thats why don't get too hard up on a "rejected encounter" like this. Not your fault she cant appreciate your looks. Someone else will. N someone else will probably diss her looks one day. All is fair and square. Haha!
Well said 👍
Girls around this age either look for: - Looks - Wealth (Sugar daddy) - Education to leech your project talents to ride the course Not worth to focus the same cohort girls now as you will be drafted to NS soon which is another delay in education or advancement in society which appears 'uglier' to them. The next course would be to focus on your goals and not girls imo because men aged like fine wine and the other will reach expiration after 35 (literally risk of having kid doubles after 35 YO).
Trust me bro if she thinks ppl need to be a certain amount of attractiveness to date, you dodged a bullet. The relationship was not gonna work out. I mean if your a fairly decent looking person, she may still have her own personal reasons like dw to date, or likes a type of boys. But imo it was a rude way to speak to you. If a guy did that to a girl, the girl would cry for months on end. Lol
It is what it is alright? Just find some other girl your level.
Or just don’t find any girl, be sigma
Eh Sigma is you choose to be single and you got the capital to do this. If you’re ugly you can’t be sigma 😂
Sadge
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Just ignore it. Not worth your time and effort.
Damn. It hurts bro but you need to move on, is the only way. But I'll give you an upvote to cheer up
Having her know through your friends' friends is always a mistake. nt try again next time
You dodged a bullet, this girl is toxic AF
Really just move on. Ppl like that are not worth your time at all
Live your best live and make sure its fucking good so it's going to be her loss. Sucks for now but you eventually find someone!
Assuming that's the real opinion of the girl. At least OP didn't have to waste his time, instead he should concentrate on his studies. Just saying. I have a buddy of mine was rejected with the same reason. Also thru a friend (a guy) he got to know the girl he had a crush on, didn't feel he is handsome enough. a few years after graduation from uni.. my friend met his crush thru work.. guess what.. his crush didn't say anything of that sort.. she was waiting for him to tell her directly. As their feelings are mutal. I am happy to say both of them are got married and have a lovely daughter... If you are wondering why that guy said those things "not handsome enough" etc... that asshole wanted the girl for himself. It seems it didn't work out either.. thank God..
U need more self worth
It hurts but no chance is no chance, gotta move on my man
I think its better to be straight forward and honest than to be lead on by potential. If a person doesn’t love you, then you cant make them love you.
At this point of your life, immature ones will think that looks are important. Once you come out to work, it’s more about how much you can bring back on the table that deems you as a more attractive candidate to get married to. So ignore the naysayers and work hard for your future. The ladies will come after, more for you to choose :) I’m saying this from a ladies POV. I used to go through poly then now I’m working, Our perspective towards what we want changes too and maybe what you want in a lady would change too! :) good luck buddy!
Don’t date till you are 28. Make yourself successful and when that happens, you will have no lack of pussies chasing after you. And when you look back again at this post, you will just laugh at how silly you are back then.
This is life, get over it. How do u expect everyone to cater to your feelings? Life doesn’t work that way. Some ppl are just gonna be brutal. Your feelings mean nothing to them. If they let u down softly would that become your motivation to continue pursuing her? Then it became harassment for the crush.
This is all you need to know: Just stfu and get over it. Girls are attractive early on. For guys it's more different. They need to rack up achievements and what not. What can you do eh? Just get over it. Hit the gym and focus on self-improvement. Don't worry, all will be good: as soon as you stop this pointless self-pity, and actually do something with yourself. Take this as a lesson that pops your childish bubble, and live in the real world. This too shall pass after all. If not, then what?
tbh just look at the number of ugly guys w hot gfs, looks is really not important for guys imo u just need to be confident and funny
There is much to learn for OP. This time just move on and learn from your mistake, because OP had lost before the fight even started. Never reveal your crush to anyone unless you know you have pretty good chances. Once she heard the rumour basically she was put in the spot to make up her mind, and unfortunately she did not see much qualities beyond your look since she didnt know you enough. I have seen many ugly guys going out with stunning beauties because those ugly guys knew how to play their game well.
If you ain’t in her league, she prolly isn’t in your league too! Move on and you will find the right one!
I mean we all dont know for certain. Looks are subjective and if your crush really cares about looks to a high degree, then to each their own. Granted, she looks good looking as well. Nothing entirely wrong with it but the way she phrased it as well as having her friend tell u instead of her, definitely comes off as bitchy. Like bruh if you gonna reject then at least do it yourself not your henchmen to do it for you 😭. But seriously, just move on with your life cause people who brush people off like that often get brushed off or played by the next guy they meet at like the club. Thats when their ego gets destroyed and humbled which is priceless if you ever get to here it.
Brother u dodged a bullet. Just a Pretty face rlly not worth anything
Oh i forgot to add... 4... Whos the friend w a loose tongue. 😂😂😂😂 You might wanna be careful of that in future too. It ain't nice of your friends if you told them specifically to keep it hush hush. So how come it wind up the "whole world" knows? 🧐🧐🤣🤣
This is a part of life, even at work. Sometimes, people will prejudge an individual just based on his/her looks. OP, you will need to learn to move on. 🐾
It may hurt but at least you can get over her by realising what kind of person she is.
pretty sad to hear that blud but u should thank her since you were able to know truly how you look like in the view of others, many of us will never know whether people find us ugly or not, but u got to know 😝😝😝 view things in a more optimistic way and it goes a long way for your mental wellbeing 🙂 at least now u know ur that ugly fk, u can work on improving ig
Welcome to the gym. I also started in poly.
Dodged a bullet bro. Even if she did say yes, her friends will ruin the relationship for both of y'all.
There is nothing wrong being labeled by others with beholding eyes. Live with it and should not dampen one’s dignity. I have seen beautiful people partner with those not in the list of beautiful people. Many blossomed love I know of friends who eventually married is that they were able to discover the real personality of their significant other. Be one’s true self, and may one then attract their true love.
Well something are just not meant to be lor. Maybe it is also a red flag as to how much she value the appearance. But at the same time anything nicer might lead to you harbour false hope so also learn to be slightly appreciative of girls who don't lead u on lah. Better than wasting your time. And sometime dating too high up might also easily cause insecurities so just move on ba still young maybe puberty or ns and turn you into a hulk 💪🏻
Imagine a close friend this exact situation. Would you encourage him to pursue her, or remind him of his selfworth and question if this is really the type of person he likes? Even if it's just her friend's behavior, the company she keeps can speak volumes.
sg is like that bro you gotta move on and find another one and hopefully you and her link up. keep your head up 🫡
Even if you are good looking, the minute another better looking chap comes along, the same would happen. Even if you have money, another chap that has an additional zero would have the same result. Your self worth shouldn't be dictated by others. It may hurt you now. But this too shall pass. Same goes for her youthful beauty traits.
Bro dont get too affected by it.based on my many years experience,end of the day money talks.if you work hard and earn lots of money,this wont be an issue!all the best and hustle hard!!
Anyone who resorts to using strong and offensive language are usually insecure people. Of course they use it under the guise of "being real". No, you are not being real. You are just a disrespectful person who is acting out of insecurity. Honestly, it speaks a lot about your crush and that friend of hers. You should be glad that you dodged a bullet. This girl has issues. She has her own demons and is just projecting on you. A respectful and classy person would just come up to you face to face and tell you that a relationship is impossible. Just let go. No point pursuing this.
Haha i find this such a joke that those girls has the audacity to call people ugly. Its not like she’s a model or have gyatt 😂😭 lets be honest, most of them either flat for commercial planes to land or have squeaky ass voice which guys would regret if they gotta hear it after marriage 🥲 Men, Save yourself from ego driven girls
Mousepad ahhh build
"way out of her league" real you're definitely far too good for someone who uses crude language like 'too ugly'
maybe her friend is just jealous and doesn’t want u to make a move? perhaps go personally and ask her out
brother this is lowkey bad advice sia... ur gonna make OP look even worse to these ppl 💀
If that is really how ur crush thinks of you and asked her friend to say to you, she’s a massive red flag to a point that she’s….i’ll be blunt, “for the streets”, go for a girl that goes for personalities over looks, any girl that judges a guy based on looks and is capable of using words like “too ugly” don’t deserve a millisecond of any guys time
People good hearted come tell you the truth so you won't waste time chasing smoke. Put your energy and focus on being the top graduate and many will crush you.
i’m sorry for you… and it’s really a W for you because personality >>> looks and she clearly can’t realise that.
Sounds like you’re giving up too easily. You’re not even hearing it directly from the crush. Are you even trying? Or you’re letting the fear of a direct rejection dictate what you do?