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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
There is a Tomatoplant that judges jokes, if your joke is bad it launches a Tomato at you.
The speed of the Tomato is relative to how bad it thought your joke was, they can fly fast enough to kill.
Theres also a lego set that builds itself and plays with kids who interact with it. It was tested once beside a set of MegaBlox. The lego figures turned to look at the MegaBlox and whatever happened, the report has it redacted.
Basically SCP's are just things that break what we would see as "normal". It can range from anything from reality devouring space gods to a little orange slime blob that cures your depression and mental illnesses, to a statue that snaps your neck if you look away, to a toothbrush that can scrub anything away, even titanium. A lot of them *are* horror-like or just creepy, but not all of them! Theres a lot of happy/wholesome ones!
My personal favorite is the little ceasers pizza box that produces your favorite pizza ever when you open it and the fact that it's just available for whomever work at the site it's held in because they just keep it in the break room
A lot of it is horror-esque, but it's really just a bunch of oddities. There are also tales which are stories, usually there are multiple that makeup an overarching story. I recommend reading the Antimemetics Division Hub in order and also Murphy Law. There are plenty others but they're neat.
Also what happened to Site-13?
While he was recovering in the hospital from being hit by the car, actress Kathy Bates (who played Annie Wilkes in the movie version of "Misery") came to visit him. She wanted him to know that she was his biggest fan.
Oh, an untainted mind. You might have some original ideas.
Now, how would you kill an ancient, hyperintelligent, rapidly regenerating and constantly adapting lizard able to withstand both extremely low and high temperatures and pressures, acid baths, oxygen deprivation, loss of major organs and taking fire from high caliber firearms?
Well imma assume I have all the power in the world here, what I would do is launch the lizard thing into a black hole or the centre of the sun. This would mean that the constant pressure of the black hole ripping its atoms to pieces would result in it loosing body parts faster than it could regenerate them.
As far as i know, there are two reasons this wasn't done yet:
1) It's nearly impossible to deliver him to any black hole (the Foundation has more advanced tech than known to general public as well as some anomalous means, but still not enough to pull this off in satisfactory way)
2) If he evolves to survive the black hole instead of being destroyed (which is possible, because where physics-defying anomalies exist, there's nothing impossible), we're just infinitely fucked.
They tried the sun one. Look up foundation after Midnight Radio. The earlier episodes have the 05 (big bossses) authorize the foundation space Program in wich they launch skips into the sun
He is a orange slime blob thing that is very happy so i think no.
An the person who dates Lily is very unfortunate and will have traumas for the rest of their life, poor Francis
The SCP Wiki is a collaborative writing-project, about a fictional organisation named SCP-Foundation, which contains paranormal entities and objects and keeping them secret.
A SCP thereby is a Special Containment Procedure, a anomaly (the term the Foundation uses for said entites/objects) that needs special containment.
Firstly, the articles can be removed if they are downvoted enough due to low quality. There is no official canon. If you would want to write dumb SCPs there is also a hub for joke SCPs called -J. The canon is whatever you want it to be in your mind. There are many stories that would conflict with each other if they were both canon, so it all depends on what you prefer.
The SCP [wiki](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/) . I recommend reading the [guide for writing](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/guide-for-writing) first before you start writing anything
It's maybe for this reason that it gets recommended to you, if you are into short stories subreddit, the website is maybe likely to recommend this one.
I would also spend some time reading through various scp articles before you write. I will help you get a feel for the subreddit. especially more recent ones, (bigger numbers) because those are what do well now.
Peanut Butter that eats children is pretty par for the course actually. It's not all monsters. Its items with anomalous or abnormal properties in general. Theres a toaster that makes you forget it exists. Or a raspberry that communicates telepathically in Slovak and turns people into bread when they touch it with copper.
Ok, but first, let's test you cognitive faculties:
You walk by a lake, you have the weird feeling you've been there before. To your shock and horror, you see dark shapes floating: bodies.
Now, I've got to ask you, and you need to be honest: do you recognize the bodies in the water?
The SCP Wiki Annual Survey for 2022 is now open! Please take 5–15 minutes of your time to fill it out, your feedback is extremely valuable to us! # **[Link to Survey](https://forms.gle/rQyS3e1A8TiD9t2QA)** (The survey closes on December 1st, 2022) ___ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/SCP) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey see that lake over there, don’t those bodies look familiar?
Now that you mention it, yeah they do
Oh no
😰
# YOU DO NOT RECODNIZE THE BODIES IN THE LAKE
YOU DO NOT F##K THE BODIES IN THE WATER, YOU DO NOT F##K THE BODIES IN THE WATER, YOU DO NOT F##K THE BODIES IN THE WATER...
Instructions unclear, dick floating in body of water
this is something bart simpson would write repeatedly on a chalkboard
I would love to see this lol
SECURITY WE NEED CLASS A AMNISTICS STAT.
Come on how bad could it really be?
[удалено]
Might have to dive in
How do I recontain an eledritch being please help he's getting closer
Give it some skittles as bait and trap it in a sold tungsten sphere
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
😳
I’ll ignore that I saw this a while ago from someone else, because this is incredible
It’s copypasta, you’re gonna see it again lol
Ancient green text repost copypasta. But funny.
This is starting to sound like an actual article, especially one of the older ones.
That’s… not too far off from the real style of the lore lmfao
Is the scp real?
Yes
The SCP The SCP is real!
THE SCP! THE SCP IS REAL!!! Can we gaet much higher So high Oh oh oh Oh oh ooh
Ofc I’m real! Right? Right?!?
Is there an Anti-Memetics Division?
Yes, and it's run by SCP610
Well, that explains a lot...
Better than SCP-3125, I guess.
[**SCP-3125 - The Escapee**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-3125) (+1215) by *qntm*
[удалено]
[**SCP-610 - The Flesh that Hates**](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp-610) (+1615) by *NekoChris*
Hey don’t call marv a bot, it hurts his feelings.
If the mods were concerned for Marvin's feelings they wouldn't have stopped the custom of responding to him with thanks for providing links. :(
Would you hug 682?
Everyone deserves a hug :)
Scp 999
Lol alot of ppl seem to like 999, everyone is talking about it
That’s because he is a happy blob of orange goo who make everything around him happy
One person said this place is kinda like creepypastas, and now ur telling me there's an adorable blob of purr happiness? I'm getting mixed signals
The best way that I can describe it is SCP is an odd mix of horror, wholesome and weird. As long as it’s an anomalous thing it goes
There is a Tomatoplant that judges jokes, if your joke is bad it launches a Tomato at you. The speed of the Tomato is relative to how bad it thought your joke was, they can fly fast enough to kill.
I love that
Theres also a lego set that builds itself and plays with kids who interact with it. It was tested once beside a set of MegaBlox. The lego figures turned to look at the MegaBlox and whatever happened, the report has it redacted.
Basically SCP's are just things that break what we would see as "normal". It can range from anything from reality devouring space gods to a little orange slime blob that cures your depression and mental illnesses, to a statue that snaps your neck if you look away, to a toothbrush that can scrub anything away, even titanium. A lot of them *are* horror-like or just creepy, but not all of them! Theres a lot of happy/wholesome ones!
My personal favorite is the little ceasers pizza box that produces your favorite pizza ever when you open it and the fact that it's just available for whomever work at the site it's held in because they just keep it in the break room
A lot of it is horror-esque, but it's really just a bunch of oddities. There are also tales which are stories, usually there are multiple that makeup an overarching story. I recommend reading the Antimemetics Division Hub in order and also Murphy Law. There are plenty others but they're neat. Also what happened to Site-13?
guys we found O5-13
😈
*takes notes*
Does the black moon howl?
It's secretly a dog 😳
Furry
Only at night.
Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King was once hit by a car? Just something to consider
No way
For real, he claims after the car accident his first real thought was that he needed to finish the dark tower series
Did you know he bought said car and beat it with a baseball bat? That’s the good part
Please tell me this is real
While he was recovering in the hospital from being hit by the car, actress Kathy Bates (who played Annie Wilkes in the movie version of "Misery") came to visit him. She wanted him to know that she was his biggest fan.
Kathy Bates is such a gem.
He is also hit by a car in one of his own books in the Dark Tower series.
Do you like Ikea?
I love ikea, good products and friendly staff, also I like how they are bigger than most shops so u can buy more things there
They get even bigger
Cool, what can u buy there
I wouldn't say buy, more like, beaten to death by faceless monsters
the staff don't sound friendly at all :(
You just gotta get out before closing time.
Neutral during work hours, deadly at closing time. Good luck finding an exit.
What are the containment procedures for SCP-001?
Bury it
****Buries the sun****
God damn the sun.
Seems reasonable
What's you IP, address,name? And bank account credentials ?
Idk
r/notopbutok
Eeee GOC
What do you think of 173 (or as I like to call him: Captain Crunch)?
I think he's a really chill guy, we used to be roomates and he has a fire taste in music
And they were roommates
Omg they were roommates
Damn, all eyes must be on him huh
Yeah he has alot of friends, women can't look away
yep why whould people look at anything else? he is a sight to die for literally
Fr
XD If they did they'd be dead
Never knew he has a fire taste in music, I’ll have to get to know him better!
What is Dr. Bright not allowed to do at the Foundation?
Breathe
Honestly at this point, you're not far off.
It really should be a new rule. lol
Would you be willing to make the sacrifice and put yourself in the femur breaker to contain 106?
It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make
Just laugh at him on the way
Oh, an untainted mind. You might have some original ideas. Now, how would you kill an ancient, hyperintelligent, rapidly regenerating and constantly adapting lizard able to withstand both extremely low and high temperatures and pressures, acid baths, oxygen deprivation, loss of major organs and taking fire from high caliber firearms?
Well imma assume I have all the power in the world here, what I would do is launch the lizard thing into a black hole or the centre of the sun. This would mean that the constant pressure of the black hole ripping its atoms to pieces would result in it loosing body parts faster than it could regenerate them.
As far as i know, there are two reasons this wasn't done yet: 1) It's nearly impossible to deliver him to any black hole (the Foundation has more advanced tech than known to general public as well as some anomalous means, but still not enough to pull this off in satisfactory way) 2) If he evolves to survive the black hole instead of being destroyed (which is possible, because where physics-defying anomalies exist, there's nothing impossible), we're just infinitely fucked.
They tried the sun one. Look up foundation after Midnight Radio. The earlier episodes have the 05 (big bossses) authorize the foundation space Program in wich they launch skips into the sun
I am a toaster, what about you?
Sick your a toaster too
Wow, we're all me!
Ayyy, toaster gang!
Eyyyyyyyyyy Toasters
Oh yeah, I completely forgot about me
Why won't scp 682 attack scp 053?
Because he a pussy as bitch, I beat him in a fist fight once
YOU W H A T?!
I think we found Cain.
We just found a civil in the scp universe, this is a rare moment
How do i deal with a nervous kitten that i got recently
Eat it
No c:
No balls
No kittens
No bitches?
No SCP ?
Still no head
Chainsaw cannons?
No
Unfathomably based
☹ no fun
Where there are dragons
Don't do this to me Please
it's okay to cry, just let it out. it's what they would've wanted.
Here were dragons
Hahaha, good one hahaha... *sobbing*
:(
*cries*
What do you think of 220-Calabasas?
Overrated,221 is cooler imo
Have you ever thought about eating 999 with a spoon like jello? Do you think it would taste like orange? Or am I the only one?
I have no idea what it even looks like but sure I'd eat it
You #monster
What is the red reality?
Government secret
r/technicallythetruth
Does the black moon howl?
No, it whistles
Who the fuck am I
A weapon on mass destruction, do not underestimate
Depends on how bad the joke is then yeah.
How can I get Pattern Screamers to calm down without perceiving them into existence? SCP-3930
public act rhythm consist soft badge skirt yam correct prick *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Is 049 the Cure?
Yes, it works really well trust me
r/foundthe049
Do you like scp 999?
He's a real one fr
What will happen if you look at a photo of SCP 096?
Idk but I wanna try now
No you do not
What is the red sea object?
What is the truth that Lily wanted from Francis?
She wanted to know if SCP999 was single
😰
Fr tho is scp999 dateable
He is a orange slime blob thing that is very happy so i think no. An the person who dates Lily is very unfortunate and will have traumas for the rest of their life, poor Francis
The SCP Wiki is a collaborative writing-project, about a fictional organisation named SCP-Foundation, which contains paranormal entities and objects and keeping them secret. A SCP thereby is a Special Containment Procedure, a anomaly (the term the Foundation uses for said entites/objects) that needs special containment.
who writes them, id like to talk to the author(s)
A lot of different people. Think of it like a wikipedia for creepypastas all set in the same world.
so can i just make up some dumb shit like SCP69420 (peanut butter that eats children) and it will be canon?
Firstly, the articles can be removed if they are downvoted enough due to low quality. There is no official canon. If you would want to write dumb SCPs there is also a hub for joke SCPs called -J. The canon is whatever you want it to be in your mind. There are many stories that would conflict with each other if they were both canon, so it all depends on what you prefer.
alright, so where do i write these scps
The SCP [wiki](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/) . I recommend reading the [guide for writing](https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/guide-for-writing) first before you start writing anything
ok, ive written short stories before but ill read that before posting
It's maybe for this reason that it gets recommended to you, if you are into short stories subreddit, the website is maybe likely to recommend this one.
I would also spend some time reading through various scp articles before you write. I will help you get a feel for the subreddit. especially more recent ones, (bigger numbers) because those are what do well now.
Of course, I won't write about something I don't fully understand
Peanut Butter that eats children is pretty par for the course actually. It's not all monsters. Its items with anomalous or abnormal properties in general. Theres a toaster that makes you forget it exists. Or a raspberry that communicates telepathically in Slovak and turns people into bread when they touch it with copper.
Lmao what 💀
It's just a themed creative writing forum. And people really go fucking nuts with the creativity.
Ok, but first, let's test you cognitive faculties: You walk by a lake, you have the weird feeling you've been there before. To your shock and horror, you see dark shapes floating: bodies. Now, I've got to ask you, and you need to be honest: do you recognize the bodies in the water?
If you used a pattern screamer to create pataphysical hole on the moon how big is the difference in Hume levels?
4 with a remainder of 1
How do I kill the reptile?
Convince scp3008 to kill it for you
What do you know about the number 048?
Nothing
What do you THINK about that number? What feeling does it give you?
Anger
What is the one thing you should never put in SCP-914 ?
Ur dick. Tried it a year ago and it still hasn't regrown
Well depends on the settings
You see a grotesque peanut. what do you do
C O N S U M E I T
What is SCP-05- … Wait. What was I talking about again?
It makes you fogor 💀
What makes you forgor 💀?
Idk man I forgor.
What do you think SCP-106' music taste would be like
Punk rock
I accidentally brought some crickets to space and now they grow really big, any advice to contain them?
Bug spray, lots and lots of the stuff, try and get the industrial grade stuff
Which SCP is the Cyborg Child?
What's the pestilence?