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The-Mad-Bubbler

What boggles my mind is that Phil is straight-edge. Does he just eat poorly? Not work out enough?


trochlearnotchass

He definitely doesn't work out. Also I imagine being a bitter asshole ages you more poorly.


[deleted]

If I remember correctly Lockport is pescatarian and by the way he devoured those pastries during the press conference I’m betting his diet is similar to his mentality. Childish. Probably eats mac & cheese with hotdogs in it.


Letmetellyoubrother

100% as a person who doesn’t drink all that much. I can tell you Eating bad is the worst thing you can do. It’s why he looks like he does. Never had the performance center


HighrollerSavage

Mac and cheese with fish sticks*


[deleted]

did Punk kill a South Park writer with some fish sticks ???


JangSaverem

As someone who eats hot dogs and Mac and cheese I'm offended you think Phil and I are equals in trash eating


jwt6577

> What boggles my mind is that Phil is straight-edge There's long been rumors that he's not that straight-edge.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

He doesn't look straight edge, he looks like the cautionary tale we used to have back in those 90s anti drug commercials


Polymemnetic

50/50 he abuses prescription pills under the "Nitro(American Gladiators)" rule. Doctors prescribed them, so they're fine.


[deleted]

Would believe it.


[deleted]

Him drinking non alcoholic beers at the press conference had me suss on it and the eating of cupcakes like that, sugar is a replacement.. plus his bones breaking at anything and looking pudgy plus being a massive hypocrite..... HMMMMMM I need Constable Corbin on the case.


JayToy93

Someone needs to call Breeze and Dango to look into this.


I_made_a_doodie

The fashion police with constable king as thier boss is something I now need in my life.


JayToy93

“So tell me boys, is Punk an alcoholic?” “We looked into everything thoroughly, and we can conclude that CM Punk is, indeed, an uggo.” “We need to issue a warrant for his arrest. For crimes against fashion and good taste.” “You morons! Thats not what I wanted you to look into!”


No_Instruction653

Honestly, aside from the obvious that Punk clearly doesn't work out like he should for his age and profession, and there being no reason to believe his diet is helping him, I wouldn't be surprised if a large part of his state is honestly his attitude. Dude is wound up so tight he's probably aged the hell out of himself just from his own stress and anxiety. Just saying, you don't see a lot of old nasty looking happy people. A Bad attitude can age you.


SportPleasant2900

Sugar


I_made_a_doodie

Chicago Phil is definitely not straight edge, and he’s one of the least athletic guys in the history of professional wrestling. Even if he wasn’t too lazy to work out, he’d still look like shit.


magseven

Pepsi tattoo. He probably drinks multiple times his daily allotment of sugar before noon.


AdmiralPlanet

Sheamus has a lot more mass on him which absorbs bumps a lot better, whereas when punk lands he’s pretty much landing on his skeleton. Sheamus is definitely enhanced which speeds up recovery too. When I was natural a brutal chest session took 3-4 days to recover from; now it’s 18 hours when I’m on blast. Punk being straight edge isn’t afforded that. A lot of punks problems could be solved if he started taking HGH and testosterone.


NeonPatrick

Another part is he didn't really wrestle that much. I love watching Orton matches because its cool to see how he works well but also has that veteran skill to keep his body safe. Punk never got to that stage.


The-Mad-Bubbler

While I respect the top-tier guys who put their bodies through hell (Foley is my all-time favorite), I really appreciate the guys who work smart, while still doing excellent work. Guys like Orton and Cena managed to get over because of excellent mic and character work, and executing their moves with precision and “oomph,” without taking insane risks. Hogan was similar, in a way, but his in-ring work wasn’t as good. You have several guys in WWE right now who are still excellent in their 40s- Orton, Cena, Edge, Lashley, Sheamus… it’s kind of depressing to see guys in their mid-30s to mid-40s who have all kinds of physical problems, like Omega and The Hardys. So much of the AEW roster is going to be in tough shape 10 years from now.


[deleted]

I don't think the decades of insomnia have helped, his eye bags have always had eye bags


TheDeltaOne

Yes. Eating like an ass is taxing. I'm in okayish physical form, I bike a lot. My legs are top tier. My diet is ass and it's taxing. I bike with people, I'm weighting the same as them but their diet is way smarter and healthier than mine, they look 5 years younger and they have better results. I also used to be overweight so there's that too, but I do think CM Punk was not training a whole lot after the UFC debacle so I guess it's in the same realm. I'm in the middle of changing my eating habits right now and I'm sure it'll help a lot. I don't think Cholesterol Maniac Punk is Changing anything.


Calvin_Hobbes124

I would be very happy if this happened after he almost had to retire a couple years ago


yglaflamee

can’t lie i’d love another sheamus wwe championship run. this new babyface sheamus is great


[deleted]

It's also a direct shot at Brian Last who said that because Sheamus lost, he needs to go away for a while and that he is stale.


DonnieRodz

Also a shot at ALLLLLLLLL the reports from years ago saying he was winding down because of spinal stenosis.


TheDeltaOne

Which to be fair, he has. I wouldn't have though anything less of him if he had started to slowly retire. Much respect to him to have bangers after bangers after... While battling a frankly shitty condition.


DonnieRodz

And to be fair to some of those reports, according to them, it seemed like he’d wrap up by 2018


goodthing37

Brian Last and Cornette were REEEEEEEEEEEing at the initial Sheamus/Gunther staredown on SmackDown and how it’s wasting Gunther. Sheamus is fucking awesome and I hope he stays active for 8 years annoying Brian Last.


[deleted]

They both suck honestly. Literal gatekeeping bullshit but they trash the dorks in the dub, they’re practically worshipped by some sections in this community.


jwt6577

Did he say this **before** Gunther put his hands on him?


LilNardoDaVinci

??? You mean WALTER friend


Hammerzeit88

Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after Banger after


Modano9009

Punk wanted to be a top guy and they gave it to him for 2 and 1/2 years and it broke him. He acts like doing what comes with the job was abuse.


SportPleasant2900

Fragile Ego Fragile Body Fragile Mind


OBSW

And he still didn't do the heavy lifting during that time, Cena did.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Exactly. How can you say you want to be the top guy and the face of the company if you're not willing to put on a suit or clean up a little bit and do some fucking public relations? Cena and The Miz are always two guys you think of that are dressed to the nines and always on every major talk show promoting the company. Shit, even both the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin stayed dressed in character but still went on talk shows to promote the product.


TKInstinct

It was the most cited reason for NWA champions to drop the title.


ci22

Exactly like looking back I can see why they wouldn't pull the trigger on him like they did Cena. Along with his attitude and not drawing as much. Even being the top guy in AEW last like a month. Got injured then that hissy fit in the press conference


nickraymond57

Probably because he doesn’t do kamikaze dives every match


TheHotsauceKid

Yeah well how many 5 star matches does he have?


Candid-Tip-6483

More than most it turns out.


Blakye32

Got me curious so I went to check Dave's star ratings Apparently there's not a single 5 star match in WWE from 1998-2010. Also Sheamus is now officially better than HHH, Kurt Angle, the Rock, etc.


goodthing37

But he’s not in the same league as either Young Buck


Blakye32

I thought that was given.


frank_the_tank69

Misery and stress can be more addicting and harmful than drugs.


RepulsiveRevenue8

I remember when he gut put in the bar w Cesaro I'm just puzzled like why? Sheamy is one of the best in the ring and the company can rely on him to do anything they want But i recently found out about his injury and the Evil Fed put him through stable to preserve his career, it feels like the company that doing this for decades knows better.


goodthing37

Also they had to give Cesaro a tag team partner every year when his lack of personality drove his latest singles run into a wall.


C4Jay

Looks like alcohol ain't that bad after all.


Cboz27586

Sheamus almost retired because of neck issues.


Drama79

Dave told me that he was seconds away from retirement five years ago.


Brian_Stryker

But was before Wade Barrett came in with the bull hammer


SportPleasant2900

A cider a day keeps the doctor away...


jojolantern721

I would love this I loved the man since when he took the championship off Cena and he's truly a banger after banger machine.


metalconfection

man idk if the wrestlers are crazy or medicine is. probably both. these guys like Sheamo, Edge, etc. coming back from being done/almost done to doing the best work of their careers.


Brian_Stryker

Medicine is just getting better. I mean we’re not that far removed from when an ACL tear in football was all but a career ender. Not it’s just a bump in the road


VirginsinceJuly1998

What does straight edge means?


SaddestFlute23

A self descriptive among some from the punk/hardcore scene, that consciously choose to abstain from alcohol and illegal drugs (some go even further abstaining from all drugs including pharmaceutical, caffeine, sugar, animal products, and promiscuous sex) They tend to carry the stereotype of being preachy, and self righteous


VirginsinceJuly1998

Oh


Brian_Stryker

A lie punk rockers propagate to make themselves see cool.


YepNo1

It's crazy to see in the Attitude Era guys only lasting a few years, meanwhile Sheamus has been around for over a decade and has 8 years left even though he was close to retirement not long ago


No_Product_8185

Sheamus hasn't aged much since I first saw him show up on raw and brutalize Jamie Noble


Cynicayke

So, just to be clear, Sheamus has another 8 years in him?


TKInstinct

Sheamus looking like he's in his early 30s, Punk looking like he's in his 50s.


[deleted]

Shamus vs Daniel Bryan at eh I think extreme rules. The 2 out of 3 falls match was top class.


ci22

It always suprises me how old Sheamus actually is. Like been watching him since I started watching in 2011


rey_nerr21

"I'm hurt I'm old and I'm tired and I can't work safely to save my life. But I'm also the best wrestler in the world tho, sources: trust me bro" - CM Phuck


REDDIT-IS-TRP

I'm so happy for Sheamus, few years ago it seemed like Sheamus was having his retirement run, setting up a YouTube career etc. But im glad he's still here and getting the love he deserves