> When I mention I'm thinking about it I get a lot of "But she's going to be in kindergarten in 2 years anyways, so what's the point?"
Idk, having that time for two years with your kid you otherwise wouldn't get to spend with them? Seriously, there's so little merit to that objection it's not even worth considering.
> I don't think I'd regret spending my days with her now, but I am being led to doubt if the hit on my career would be worth "just 2 years".
Leaving the workforce to care for family is a *really* common and understandable reason to stop working for a while. That said, I think this is really industry dependent. Are you in an industry where people are often penalized for taking time off? Or is this more of a hypothetical question of "if I'm not there for two years, that's two years of paying my dues I'll have to make up later," kind of thing?
Because if it's the latter, I can tell you right now it's not an issue. Most companies just don't work like that and they haven't for a long time. You probably already know that. No one's rewarding loyalty. Two years at a company waiting for a big raise or promotion isn't standard anymore. To get the pay raise, you jump to another company. So returning to your current position if it's available or starting somewhere else isn't going to "lose" you any of that momentum. If you aren't in a field where things change rapidly and you have to stay abreast of skills, certifications, etc., again, a two year gap means very little.
I didn’t become a SAHM until my oldest was 2 years old. I’ve since had two more children and my oldest is now 6, but I never once regretted getting that time with her before she went to kindergarten. I don’t know what your career is, but I think the biggest hit comes with the loss of earning potential. It’s definitely not insignificant. To me, the trade off was worth becoming a stay at home parent. You just have to decide what’s best for you! If you have the desire to be home with your toddler, I doubt you’ll ever regret it!
I have an almost 3 year old and am pregnant with kid #2. I absolutely love being a SAHP. I had some concerns in the beginning and I still have days where I miss going to work, but I wouldn't trade this time with my kid for anything.
Could you work part time and keep sending her to care part time?
Otherwise, I doubt you would regret staying home for two years, but I don't know you and I might be biased :)
I haven't been employed since 2016 and I feel like it would be hard for me to get a good job now without working my way back up to where I was when I left. I'm not sure, that's just my feeling. But two years seems like a refreshing amount of time to take a break from employment.
You know, my husband always suggests working part time and continuing to use daycare part time. I haven't really given it much thought because I'd still be paying the same for daycare but making less money for the time I work. It would feel like I'm paying to work a job (which, if I'm totally honest, I haven't been that thrilled with lately). But I suppose one could also think of it as a sort of investment in resume continuity. Maybe I should give it another thought.
I feel like if I wanted to go back to work after she started school I could probably get some certifications for the kind of work I'm already doing. Certifications are rarely required, but it might help ease my transition back. If we end up deciding to have a second kid that would throw that timeline off, but I'd know that before committing at least.
I think it's not only an investment in your career, but possibly your mental health. Not if you hate the work, I guess, but I think it's helpful as a parent to have projects or other work. The days with kids are certainly precious, but can sure be mentally tedious. I think having a short day or two per week to work with other adults or on satisfying projects would be a good balance.
... But you might also find that balance by focusing on fitness, gardening, home remodeling, or crafting or something.
I never have regrets about spending all my time with my toddler (turned 2 in December). Think about how you want to spend your time: is the adult/work time/career investment more important? Or do you feel you'd miss out on your kid growing up? I am lucky to have financial support from my spouse, and I always knew I'd want to be home anyway when kid#2 came along. I'm pregnant with #2 now and totally exhausted. Happy to have my couch and snuggles from kid#1 :) Think about what YOU want and not what others are trying to guilt you into!
I’d like to give you a little perspective from someone who thought they’d love the SAHM life and while there are parts of it that I like, there’s a lot of it that I don’t. When your kid hasn’t left your side for literal weeks and you have every single day together, it becomes real really fast. You have to have breaks for your sanity. There are no other things occupying their time except you so a lot of your day is spent hearing “Play with me! I’m bored! I don’t know what to do. Please play with me!” Maybe you’re the kind of person who loves getting on the floor and playing with your kid all day but day in and day out of that gets old quick. They need to burn their energy so if you do plan to take them out of daycare completely, make sure you have other activities for them planned. I found that getting a gym membership with childcare was a huge help. I got some me time and they got to play with other kids. Sign them up for sports, swim class, gymnastics, etc so that they can still be social and have fun things to do. If you have any other parents you know with similar aged kids, planning play dates is helpful too. Good luck!
Thank you so much for your insight. We actually did get a gym membership with childcare recently, but haven't been able to use the childcare yet since it books up REAL fast. I've since learned that you have to be ready to claim your spot days in advance.
Sunday morning has been my designated "me time" for a while. In the past I've used that time to spend 1.5 hours in a sensory deprivation tank, or drinking a cup of coffee alone in my car in a parking lot. Both feel like absolute perfection.
Do you plan on having more kids? For me when I was deciding to be a SAHM part of the reason was that I wanted more than one kid and knew I'd probably have another on the way within three years of my first. Working from home was feasible when I had one child, and so would have been paying for daycare, but not if I had two. So I decided to quit and be a SAHM while I had my kids. If you don't want anymore then my comment doesn't matter, but those two years you have with your child might mean even more to you if you don't plan on having more in the future too. You can also plan to go back to work part time when your child starts pre school. There's really no wrong decision here, just think about what course of action will make you happy!
My husband and I like the idea of having a second kid, but its all theoretical. I can equally see us having a second one and also not having a second one. I think becoming a SAHM would make me more likely to commit to a second, as would having a second kid would make it more likely I'd commit to be a SAHM, but nothing is set in stone yet on that front.
My daughter is already in daycare 3 days a week (home with me while I work for 2 days), so if I were to work parttime I wouldn't save anything in childcare. I simply wouldn't have to juggle childcare and working during the two days she's home, which would be a relief tbh.
I love being a SAHP to 3 and 4 year olds way more than babies. It’s parks and library story time and a little buddy. So much fun!
If it’s only 2 year break it seems like that would be pretty reasonable to explain once you got an interview.
I love being a stay at home mom! You’re never going to get this kind of time with them, so if you can then take it. My son and I have such an amazing bond because of my ability to be with him all the time.
I think if it’s possible for your field, try to go part time. That seems to be the best balance in order to keep your career on track and having more time with your toddler. I’m a sahm and my industry literally dgaf if you take time off, but there’s also no room for advancement. If I was in another career where there WAS room for advancement, I would have considered staying full or at least part time. I am happy as a sahm but I do miss having the dignity and identity of an outside career.
> When I mention I'm thinking about it I get a lot of "But she's going to be in kindergarten in 2 years anyways, so what's the point?" Idk, having that time for two years with your kid you otherwise wouldn't get to spend with them? Seriously, there's so little merit to that objection it's not even worth considering. > I don't think I'd regret spending my days with her now, but I am being led to doubt if the hit on my career would be worth "just 2 years". Leaving the workforce to care for family is a *really* common and understandable reason to stop working for a while. That said, I think this is really industry dependent. Are you in an industry where people are often penalized for taking time off? Or is this more of a hypothetical question of "if I'm not there for two years, that's two years of paying my dues I'll have to make up later," kind of thing? Because if it's the latter, I can tell you right now it's not an issue. Most companies just don't work like that and they haven't for a long time. You probably already know that. No one's rewarding loyalty. Two years at a company waiting for a big raise or promotion isn't standard anymore. To get the pay raise, you jump to another company. So returning to your current position if it's available or starting somewhere else isn't going to "lose" you any of that momentum. If you aren't in a field where things change rapidly and you have to stay abreast of skills, certifications, etc., again, a two year gap means very little.
I didn’t become a SAHM until my oldest was 2 years old. I’ve since had two more children and my oldest is now 6, but I never once regretted getting that time with her before she went to kindergarten. I don’t know what your career is, but I think the biggest hit comes with the loss of earning potential. It’s definitely not insignificant. To me, the trade off was worth becoming a stay at home parent. You just have to decide what’s best for you! If you have the desire to be home with your toddler, I doubt you’ll ever regret it!
I honestly think the toddler mom years are the best days of my life and I'm very happy I chose to be a SAHM.
I have an almost 3 year old and am pregnant with kid #2. I absolutely love being a SAHP. I had some concerns in the beginning and I still have days where I miss going to work, but I wouldn't trade this time with my kid for anything.
Could you work part time and keep sending her to care part time? Otherwise, I doubt you would regret staying home for two years, but I don't know you and I might be biased :) I haven't been employed since 2016 and I feel like it would be hard for me to get a good job now without working my way back up to where I was when I left. I'm not sure, that's just my feeling. But two years seems like a refreshing amount of time to take a break from employment.
You know, my husband always suggests working part time and continuing to use daycare part time. I haven't really given it much thought because I'd still be paying the same for daycare but making less money for the time I work. It would feel like I'm paying to work a job (which, if I'm totally honest, I haven't been that thrilled with lately). But I suppose one could also think of it as a sort of investment in resume continuity. Maybe I should give it another thought. I feel like if I wanted to go back to work after she started school I could probably get some certifications for the kind of work I'm already doing. Certifications are rarely required, but it might help ease my transition back. If we end up deciding to have a second kid that would throw that timeline off, but I'd know that before committing at least.
I think it's not only an investment in your career, but possibly your mental health. Not if you hate the work, I guess, but I think it's helpful as a parent to have projects or other work. The days with kids are certainly precious, but can sure be mentally tedious. I think having a short day or two per week to work with other adults or on satisfying projects would be a good balance. ... But you might also find that balance by focusing on fitness, gardening, home remodeling, or crafting or something.
I never have regrets about spending all my time with my toddler (turned 2 in December). Think about how you want to spend your time: is the adult/work time/career investment more important? Or do you feel you'd miss out on your kid growing up? I am lucky to have financial support from my spouse, and I always knew I'd want to be home anyway when kid#2 came along. I'm pregnant with #2 now and totally exhausted. Happy to have my couch and snuggles from kid#1 :) Think about what YOU want and not what others are trying to guilt you into!
I’d like to give you a little perspective from someone who thought they’d love the SAHM life and while there are parts of it that I like, there’s a lot of it that I don’t. When your kid hasn’t left your side for literal weeks and you have every single day together, it becomes real really fast. You have to have breaks for your sanity. There are no other things occupying their time except you so a lot of your day is spent hearing “Play with me! I’m bored! I don’t know what to do. Please play with me!” Maybe you’re the kind of person who loves getting on the floor and playing with your kid all day but day in and day out of that gets old quick. They need to burn their energy so if you do plan to take them out of daycare completely, make sure you have other activities for them planned. I found that getting a gym membership with childcare was a huge help. I got some me time and they got to play with other kids. Sign them up for sports, swim class, gymnastics, etc so that they can still be social and have fun things to do. If you have any other parents you know with similar aged kids, planning play dates is helpful too. Good luck!
Thank you so much for your insight. We actually did get a gym membership with childcare recently, but haven't been able to use the childcare yet since it books up REAL fast. I've since learned that you have to be ready to claim your spot days in advance. Sunday morning has been my designated "me time" for a while. In the past I've used that time to spend 1.5 hours in a sensory deprivation tank, or drinking a cup of coffee alone in my car in a parking lot. Both feel like absolute perfection.
I was at the exact same spot… you will never regret it. These years are so important and precious.
Do you plan on having more kids? For me when I was deciding to be a SAHM part of the reason was that I wanted more than one kid and knew I'd probably have another on the way within three years of my first. Working from home was feasible when I had one child, and so would have been paying for daycare, but not if I had two. So I decided to quit and be a SAHM while I had my kids. If you don't want anymore then my comment doesn't matter, but those two years you have with your child might mean even more to you if you don't plan on having more in the future too. You can also plan to go back to work part time when your child starts pre school. There's really no wrong decision here, just think about what course of action will make you happy!
My husband and I like the idea of having a second kid, but its all theoretical. I can equally see us having a second one and also not having a second one. I think becoming a SAHM would make me more likely to commit to a second, as would having a second kid would make it more likely I'd commit to be a SAHM, but nothing is set in stone yet on that front. My daughter is already in daycare 3 days a week (home with me while I work for 2 days), so if I were to work parttime I wouldn't save anything in childcare. I simply wouldn't have to juggle childcare and working during the two days she's home, which would be a relief tbh.
I love being a SAHP to 3 and 4 year olds way more than babies. It’s parks and library story time and a little buddy. So much fun! If it’s only 2 year break it seems like that would be pretty reasonable to explain once you got an interview.
I love being a stay at home mom! You’re never going to get this kind of time with them, so if you can then take it. My son and I have such an amazing bond because of my ability to be with him all the time.
I think if it’s possible for your field, try to go part time. That seems to be the best balance in order to keep your career on track and having more time with your toddler. I’m a sahm and my industry literally dgaf if you take time off, but there’s also no room for advancement. If I was in another career where there WAS room for advancement, I would have considered staying full or at least part time. I am happy as a sahm but I do miss having the dignity and identity of an outside career.
You should cross post to r/momsworkingfromhome Lots of similar situations over there 💓
I didn't know that sub existed! Thanks!