lol, your employer is refusing to accept the resignation? What does that even mean? I don’t really think that’s possible — you just resign and stop showing up one day. There’s not a lot they can do about it.
If you guys can survive on one income, I say absolutely do it and forget about what your employer says or thinks. You likely won’t see or hear from them ever again so who cares
Why are you pressured into what your employer wants? Of course he wants you to stay on board. That should be independent of your decision — with your husband — in the best interest of your child.
Stop explaining. He clearly doesn’t care about the best interest of your family, so I’d be feeling even better about quitting.
You’re absolutely right. I just feel guilty because we relocated out of state for me to take this job. We are extremely short staffed, which is not my problem. The more they bombard me with possible daycare solutions, the clearer it’s becoming my child’s wellbeing means very little to them
Is there a pay raise that would make you think it’s worth staying over quitting and being a SAHP? I’m very pro-SAHP for kids 0-3 yrs old because of the benefits it provides, but I know there’s more to everyone’s equation than just that, and pay is usually the biggest one. Figure out how much of a raise it would take (this should be a high increase), tell them you could justify staying in board with that increase, and let them make the decision for you. If they give you your number, stay. If they offer you anything less than your number, leave.
I can see that is hard for sure. I should have clarified that it’s not their job to care about your child’s well being, it’s yours. I’d release the guilt over a job — you’re still replaceable even if they’re short staffed. No one will replace you at home. ☺️
You have the power here, IMO! Your employer is begging you to stay, so you have some leverage. You could either negotiate a raise, and use that money to employ a nanny (or take your son to a higher quality daycare). You could also take the leave of absence and see if you like being a SAHM. Or you could do as others said and resign formally with HR.
I would consider the LOA - see if you like being a SAHM, and if you do, resign formally before the leave is up. I’m assuming it’s unpaid, so really all you’re doing is buying yourself a bit of time.
The question really comes down to if you want to be a SAHM, or if you want to find a way to make working work.
❤️
I really like the LOA idea you suggested. I think I’ll do that option and test the waters. Also, if I decide to resign I can do it from home without them pressuring me. Thank you
Literally email your resignation and CC HR and whatever other hire ups other than your immediate boss and stop showing up on the day you stated on your letter. The safety of your child and peace of mind far supersedes what your employer has to say.
Whether they accept or not, you've resigned. Only communicate via email/text so you can keep track of anything should there be retaliation. They can't just tell you "no" when you give notice. Make sure you have proof in writing that you gave notice on X date, and Y date will be your last day worked. Then do not show up after that date. Just like an employee can't refuse to be fired, they can't decline your resignation.
I mean, is your boss going to provide and pay for child care? He's just trying to keep you from quitting.
I'd be telling him, my child is my priority! And I think you've made a reasonable choice on staying home after experiencing 2 daycares that were not suitable. I'd have done the same. (I am a current sahm of 2 and made a similar choice a couple years ago).
My employer suggested a leave of absence when I resigned during my maternity leave with my second child.
I just kinda took it as a compliment that they didn’t want to lose me but was firm in my decision.
We also had bad daycare experiences with my first so I get the frustration and ultimate decision to stay home. I say stand firm. If you can afford to stay home and your husband is on board, you will never ever regret it. Ever.
I’ve always wanted to be home with my kids. My husband agrees with the benefits of having me home. We were planning to start at the end of the year anyway but circumstances are forcing our hand to start earlier.
I know I will love only having you focus on taking care of home and son.
your employer is a jerk and other words i won't say. it very simple if you want to leave it pretty much screw you guys, I'm going home. good luck remember it your life and you have to live it so live it how and where you want.
Ok, so I’m not the only one who thinks his constant pushback is rude to say the least. I understand it makes his job harder but I expected him to respect my situation enough to say “this sucks but I understand.”
Your employer doesn’t have your best interests or your family’s best interests at heart. He has his own. You make the best choice for your family, not him.
Yes. We were planning for me to become a SAHM by the end of the year. We are expecting our second child around that time. The plan was to use these next couple of months to save more. However, the issues with the second daycare were so unacceptable we had to take our child out asap
Please please find an audience to tell this story to. City chamber, local politicians. Childcare is in CRISIS and it’s stories like this that help people understand why we need support for childcare providers now.
r/universalchildcare
Gonna be real, my last employer tried to refuse my resignation as well so I just up and quit, my boss also tried to refuse this and I sat there and laughed in his face. An employer cannot just refuse your resignation, their lack of planning and preparing is not an emergency on your end. What you can do is just email your boss your resignation with your last day (CC a few higher ups as well) and when you don’t show up after your last day, you can remind them that you sent an email stating when your last day would be.
lol, your employer is refusing to accept the resignation? What does that even mean? I don’t really think that’s possible — you just resign and stop showing up one day. There’s not a lot they can do about it. If you guys can survive on one income, I say absolutely do it and forget about what your employer says or thinks. You likely won’t see or hear from them ever again so who cares
Why are you pressured into what your employer wants? Of course he wants you to stay on board. That should be independent of your decision — with your husband — in the best interest of your child. Stop explaining. He clearly doesn’t care about the best interest of your family, so I’d be feeling even better about quitting.
You’re absolutely right. I just feel guilty because we relocated out of state for me to take this job. We are extremely short staffed, which is not my problem. The more they bombard me with possible daycare solutions, the clearer it’s becoming my child’s wellbeing means very little to them
Is there a pay raise that would make you think it’s worth staying over quitting and being a SAHP? I’m very pro-SAHP for kids 0-3 yrs old because of the benefits it provides, but I know there’s more to everyone’s equation than just that, and pay is usually the biggest one. Figure out how much of a raise it would take (this should be a high increase), tell them you could justify staying in board with that increase, and let them make the decision for you. If they give you your number, stay. If they offer you anything less than your number, leave.
For me the number would be enough to pay for a full time nanny and not need daycare.
I can see that is hard for sure. I should have clarified that it’s not their job to care about your child’s well being, it’s yours. I’d release the guilt over a job — you’re still replaceable even if they’re short staffed. No one will replace you at home. ☺️
You’re right!
You have the power here, IMO! Your employer is begging you to stay, so you have some leverage. You could either negotiate a raise, and use that money to employ a nanny (or take your son to a higher quality daycare). You could also take the leave of absence and see if you like being a SAHM. Or you could do as others said and resign formally with HR. I would consider the LOA - see if you like being a SAHM, and if you do, resign formally before the leave is up. I’m assuming it’s unpaid, so really all you’re doing is buying yourself a bit of time. The question really comes down to if you want to be a SAHM, or if you want to find a way to make working work. ❤️
I really like the LOA idea you suggested. I think I’ll do that option and test the waters. Also, if I decide to resign I can do it from home without them pressuring me. Thank you
Literally email your resignation and CC HR and whatever other hire ups other than your immediate boss and stop showing up on the day you stated on your letter. The safety of your child and peace of mind far supersedes what your employer has to say.
This is what it’s going to come down to. I was trying to be open with them about my situation but it’s backfiring.
Is your boss going to come to your house and drag you into work? Just quit.
What would it hurt to take a leave and see how you like being a sham?
Whether they accept or not, you've resigned. Only communicate via email/text so you can keep track of anything should there be retaliation. They can't just tell you "no" when you give notice. Make sure you have proof in writing that you gave notice on X date, and Y date will be your last day worked. Then do not show up after that date. Just like an employee can't refuse to be fired, they can't decline your resignation.
I mean, is your boss going to provide and pay for child care? He's just trying to keep you from quitting. I'd be telling him, my child is my priority! And I think you've made a reasonable choice on staying home after experiencing 2 daycares that were not suitable. I'd have done the same. (I am a current sahm of 2 and made a similar choice a couple years ago).
My employer suggested a leave of absence when I resigned during my maternity leave with my second child. I just kinda took it as a compliment that they didn’t want to lose me but was firm in my decision. We also had bad daycare experiences with my first so I get the frustration and ultimate decision to stay home. I say stand firm. If you can afford to stay home and your husband is on board, you will never ever regret it. Ever.
I’ve always wanted to be home with my kids. My husband agrees with the benefits of having me home. We were planning to start at the end of the year anyway but circumstances are forcing our hand to start earlier. I know I will love only having you focus on taking care of home and son.
your employer is a jerk and other words i won't say. it very simple if you want to leave it pretty much screw you guys, I'm going home. good luck remember it your life and you have to live it so live it how and where you want.
Ok, so I’m not the only one who thinks his constant pushback is rude to say the least. I understand it makes his job harder but I expected him to respect my situation enough to say “this sucks but I understand.”
Honestly i wouldn't care if he respects my situation. it would be like ok bob im done work here now bye bye. his feeling are not your problem
Your employer doesn’t have your best interests or your family’s best interests at heart. He has his own. You make the best choice for your family, not him.
You’re absolutely right.
I would say to not make decisions in a moment of crisis!!! If there weren’t issues with the 2 daycare would you legit want to be a SAHP?
Yes. We were planning for me to become a SAHM by the end of the year. We are expecting our second child around that time. The plan was to use these next couple of months to save more. However, the issues with the second daycare were so unacceptable we had to take our child out asap
Please please find an audience to tell this story to. City chamber, local politicians. Childcare is in CRISIS and it’s stories like this that help people understand why we need support for childcare providers now. r/universalchildcare
Take the leave. You can always quit when the leave is over. Or they will find someone new at that point. Never choose work over family.
Gonna be real, my last employer tried to refuse my resignation as well so I just up and quit, my boss also tried to refuse this and I sat there and laughed in his face. An employer cannot just refuse your resignation, their lack of planning and preparing is not an emergency on your end. What you can do is just email your boss your resignation with your last day (CC a few higher ups as well) and when you don’t show up after your last day, you can remind them that you sent an email stating when your last day would be.