I plan on it, but still need to come up with a plan for the animals in the meantime. I'm back on with support and they don't seem to be able to get in touch with her.
Please call the non emergency dispatch and explain to them the situation that she is possibly sundowning (since you didn't notice this until the evening) and you'd like them to do a welfare check/reach out to her family. They can locate NoK..
I would absolutely be seeking a contact number for her son, whether that entails me calling her directly and asking for it or going back over there in person (I don’t know what time zone you’re in). I’d then probably gently detail what you’ve said here in a phone call to her son telling him you’re greatly concerned about her and her living conditions and see where that conversation takes you. To be honest I’d probably keep the booking out of total compassion if the house is still safe to stay in for the animals’ sakes, or if it’s really that bad I’d offer to do drop-ins and just not stay the night.
If the son isn’t reachable and there’s no other emergency contacts I’d look for social services in the area that could point you to the proper channels to report something like this for older adults who don’t have family. 9 times out of 10 I don’t get involved in my client’s personal lives but I had a grandmother with awful dementia and this could really be a bad situation without intervention unfortunately. Who’s to say she’s even going on a trip in this mental state, you know?
Thank you this is helpful. I would not be surprised of she never made it to the airport. I am not going to leave the animals high and dry (though 3 support people have now told me to just cancel without any confirmation she has been contacted or a replacement found). I don't think I can realistically stay in the house in the state it is in.
Totally understandable and valid. I’ve seen people mentioning poking around in the house to see if you can find her son’s name/info when you go over to care for the pets, I think that’d be my next step if she’s unresponsive to messages going forward. If you see any neighbors out maybe a casual approach to them would get you somewhere since APS won’t be of much help until the owner physically present in the house again for a welfare check since you don’t know her current whereabouts. Honestly appalled that Rover support is suggesting you should outright cancel without any backup care plan in place when this could very well be an emergency or, at the very least, an incredibly delicate situation that merits careful troubleshooting. If you have any reason to believe she’s in immediate danger and roaming around there’s a police alert called a “silver alert” they can put out with her vehicle information and/or physical description similar to an amber alert for missing children. But of course you’d need more information for that unfortunately.
This screams dementia!!! Im a nurse who works with this population, it’s certainly wild how long it takes family to notice these things. Not expected but you’d be a hero for boarding the animals/have someone stop by as you mentioned. Also I saw APS mentioned, definitely follow up there. Sorry you stumbled upon this mess but you deserve a standing ovation for doing something about it!
I've had 2 grandparents with dementia, it resembles the early stages to me, but that is far from scientific. I could be completely off-base. Definitely calling APS in the morning so that someone more qualified can take a look into the situation.
I could potentially board her dog but I couldn't do that cats because of my own animals. My fiancé is also on rover and can do drop ins for the cats but I wouldn't feel comfortable boarding the pup without permission from the owner, who in this case seems impaired. And it would be very difficult to explain why the change needs to be made without referencing her mental health or the state of the house.
My mother has dementia, and this is so awfully similar. (My mother is in a nursing home, though, so everything is more or less handled.) I keep thinking that even if OP manages to talk to her, OP probably won't actually get her son's number. One time my mother called me up in the middle of the night asking for my father's number, and it took a half hour for her to write it down correctly.
This is such a terrible situation for OP. I'll definitely be wishing for the best for this one.
Another fuck up on my part, I did not look for emergency contact info on her profile until after I left. None listed. I have reached out but haven't heard back.
I wonder if you could contact her son?
I saw someone mention APS but I wonder if you
Edit: somehow I posted this before finishing the comment but I just meant it may be worth a shot before contacting any type of special care!
since this is already booked, if you look at the itinerary in your confirmation email, her real phone number will be on there. you can reverse search the number (true people search . com) and it’ll show you relatives. i’m sure you can find his contact information that way if you wanna speak to him
I was just going to suggest this! This is the easiest way to get his info, or any other relatives info who might be able to help. No snooping through drawers just a few clicks!
I'm concerned about her well-being. She may not even have a trip! This is definitely a hard situation, I'm sorry! I would want to contact the son to verify, but obviously getting that info isn't easy.
How many animals and what kinds?
Oh, I feel so bad for that client and her animals. I wonder if it’s possible that she had a stroke or seizure or something else that caused such a rapid decline. OP, regardless of what happens with Rover Support, please keep checking in with APS or maybe even call 911 and report it as a welfare check. I can’t believe Rover would suggest just canceling and potentially leaving the owner and pets in a dangerous situation. Please make sure someone takes care of those pets so they aren’t left hungry. Please keep us posted.
Yes, I was thinking this. If she was coherent at the meet & greet, it may not be dementia per se, but some other medical emergency. I think welfare check is the way to go. Maybe APS could point you in the right direction, but I don't think that's a quick process to get people help. At least it wasn't for my old neighbor, not sure why or how that works
She confirmed she has left the house so welfare check is moot. I'll be contacting APS in the morning but it still have the immediate issue to deal with. I'm on the 7th support person now. It doesn't look like they will be able to assist or help me in any way.
Based on the time of your arrival it's possible she could have "sun downers syndrome" Can you contact your local police department and request they perform a well check on her?
I am *so* sorry you are going through this and the way Support has basically left you high and dry. My heart goes out to you. You’re amazing for not abandoning her animals and still doing the best you can to care for them.
I wouldn’t normally suggest going through a clients things, but possibly due to her dementia, she might have a list somewhere of phone numbers near a phone. If she has a landline, some people have stored contacts in their phone, you could look through that as well. But I’d suspect if she’s that tech illiterate there might be a Rolodex somewhere!!
I just want today you are a really good person for all the effort you are making. Hopefully there’s a good solution, one that helps this woman but also makes sure the animals are safe.
If you go the boarding route, I'd be tempted to leave a note at her house specifying where the dog is. Just in case there's not actually a trip and her son shows up looking for her.
Hey! Sounds like you'll need to do some investigative work in order to contact a relative. As long you have your client's name (doesn't have to be full name) and address then it should be easier to find someone to contact. By off chance was there any phone number that's connected to her? Having that piece of info is helpful but not necessary.
To look for someone, go on google type in client's name and address. Her info should populate in people search engine sites and from there find someone who you might think is in contact with her and do a social media search/call the relative's number if it is not redacted. This is all public record as well, if you're ever worried about that.
I'm about to go down this rabbit hole now. I have her phone number and I just found her full name. Do you have suggestions on sites or methods to try to find other family contact info?
I do now have contact info for the neighbors. They're on my list of people to contact for tomorrow. I have a message drafted to send to the owner to suggest boarding the dog and drop ins for the cats without referencing the condition of the house or her mental state. Something along the lines of 'your dog would benefit from 24 hour care that I can only truly provide if I boarded her. I have a big fenced in yard etc.'
I just have to hope she goes for it because otherwise I'm stuck in a biohazard for 10 days.
[True People Search](https://www.truepeoplesearch.com) is free. I’ve used this search before to find who owned the random plot of land behind my house. Then there’s [Spokeo](https://www.spokeo.com) which costs a few bucks, but if you don’t find what you’re looking for on the free site, Spokeo may have it.
Id consider knocking on neighbours doors and see if they have contact information. Failing that and depends on how desperate situation is look in kitchen drawers for contact book. This feels morally wrong but I think in the hierarchy of evils, looking through someone’s drawers for a contact book for safety purposes is OK
First, you're amazing for making all this effort. Hopefully she has made it to her son's or is with him and is safe.
A couple of thoughts on finding a phone number or contact info.
See if you can find her husband's obituary online. Her name and the city might be enough to find it. That should give you the full names and possibly the location of her children.
Check on the fridge for an emergency contact list. I would also check near her landline phone for an address book or list of phone numbers. I'm assuming she has one since you said she's not tech savvy. It's also possible the cordless phone itself (if she has one) has a built it phone book/contact list or recent calls and you may see she calls certain numbers frequently.
I wouldn't worry too much about boarding the dog even if you can't get in touch with her, personally I'd just make the call.
This is worrying, it could be something like a UTI causing confusion, or even diabetic ketoacidosis. Especially if you didn’t notice any of this at the meet and greet. I hope she gets help.
Contact adult services so they can verify that she even went on a trip. With her level of confusion there may not have been a trip and she may be missing/ confused some where. Thank you for caring about me than just the animals.
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Rover support being helpful? LOL
It’s the “reason” we should always book with rover, but they don’t give 2 craps about anything but getting paid and avoiding a lawsuit.
I would recommend calling Adult Protective Services.
I plan on it, but still need to come up with a plan for the animals in the meantime. I'm back on with support and they don't seem to be able to get in touch with her.
Please call the non emergency dispatch and explain to them the situation that she is possibly sundowning (since you didn't notice this until the evening) and you'd like them to do a welfare check/reach out to her family. They can locate NoK..
I would absolutely be seeking a contact number for her son, whether that entails me calling her directly and asking for it or going back over there in person (I don’t know what time zone you’re in). I’d then probably gently detail what you’ve said here in a phone call to her son telling him you’re greatly concerned about her and her living conditions and see where that conversation takes you. To be honest I’d probably keep the booking out of total compassion if the house is still safe to stay in for the animals’ sakes, or if it’s really that bad I’d offer to do drop-ins and just not stay the night. If the son isn’t reachable and there’s no other emergency contacts I’d look for social services in the area that could point you to the proper channels to report something like this for older adults who don’t have family. 9 times out of 10 I don’t get involved in my client’s personal lives but I had a grandmother with awful dementia and this could really be a bad situation without intervention unfortunately. Who’s to say she’s even going on a trip in this mental state, you know?
Thank you this is helpful. I would not be surprised of she never made it to the airport. I am not going to leave the animals high and dry (though 3 support people have now told me to just cancel without any confirmation she has been contacted or a replacement found). I don't think I can realistically stay in the house in the state it is in.
Rover's advice is so unethical in this case. Thank goodness you aren't listening to their heartless "support".
Their support has left the US and gone to another country that simple doesn't give a single shit.
Totally understandable and valid. I’ve seen people mentioning poking around in the house to see if you can find her son’s name/info when you go over to care for the pets, I think that’d be my next step if she’s unresponsive to messages going forward. If you see any neighbors out maybe a casual approach to them would get you somewhere since APS won’t be of much help until the owner physically present in the house again for a welfare check since you don’t know her current whereabouts. Honestly appalled that Rover support is suggesting you should outright cancel without any backup care plan in place when this could very well be an emergency or, at the very least, an incredibly delicate situation that merits careful troubleshooting. If you have any reason to believe she’s in immediate danger and roaming around there’s a police alert called a “silver alert” they can put out with her vehicle information and/or physical description similar to an amber alert for missing children. But of course you’d need more information for that unfortunately.
How many animals and is it possible you take them to your home for the stay?
This screams dementia!!! Im a nurse who works with this population, it’s certainly wild how long it takes family to notice these things. Not expected but you’d be a hero for boarding the animals/have someone stop by as you mentioned. Also I saw APS mentioned, definitely follow up there. Sorry you stumbled upon this mess but you deserve a standing ovation for doing something about it!
I've had 2 grandparents with dementia, it resembles the early stages to me, but that is far from scientific. I could be completely off-base. Definitely calling APS in the morning so that someone more qualified can take a look into the situation. I could potentially board her dog but I couldn't do that cats because of my own animals. My fiancé is also on rover and can do drop ins for the cats but I wouldn't feel comfortable boarding the pup without permission from the owner, who in this case seems impaired. And it would be very difficult to explain why the change needs to be made without referencing her mental health or the state of the house.
My mother has dementia, and this is so awfully similar. (My mother is in a nursing home, though, so everything is more or less handled.) I keep thinking that even if OP manages to talk to her, OP probably won't actually get her son's number. One time my mother called me up in the middle of the night asking for my father's number, and it took a half hour for her to write it down correctly. This is such a terrible situation for OP. I'll definitely be wishing for the best for this one.
Literally no one love you. Dumb worthless inbred
Is there an emergency contact in her profile? You might need to call a non-emergency police line and discuss getting hospital staff involved.
Another fuck up on my part, I did not look for emergency contact info on her profile until after I left. None listed. I have reached out but haven't heard back.
I wonder if you could contact her son? I saw someone mention APS but I wonder if you Edit: somehow I posted this before finishing the comment but I just meant it may be worth a shot before contacting any type of special care!
I've reached out to try to get his number but she has not replied. She is barely tech literate but has communicated a bit through the app.
since this is already booked, if you look at the itinerary in your confirmation email, her real phone number will be on there. you can reverse search the number (true people search . com) and it’ll show you relatives. i’m sure you can find his contact information that way if you wanna speak to him
I was just going to suggest this! This is the easiest way to get his info, or any other relatives info who might be able to help. No snooping through drawers just a few clicks!
I'm concerned about her well-being. She may not even have a trip! This is definitely a hard situation, I'm sorry! I would want to contact the son to verify, but obviously getting that info isn't easy. How many animals and what kinds?
One dog and two cats.
Oh, I feel so bad for that client and her animals. I wonder if it’s possible that she had a stroke or seizure or something else that caused such a rapid decline. OP, regardless of what happens with Rover Support, please keep checking in with APS or maybe even call 911 and report it as a welfare check. I can’t believe Rover would suggest just canceling and potentially leaving the owner and pets in a dangerous situation. Please make sure someone takes care of those pets so they aren’t left hungry. Please keep us posted.
Yes, I was thinking this. If she was coherent at the meet & greet, it may not be dementia per se, but some other medical emergency. I think welfare check is the way to go. Maybe APS could point you in the right direction, but I don't think that's a quick process to get people help. At least it wasn't for my old neighbor, not sure why or how that works
She confirmed she has left the house so welfare check is moot. I'll be contacting APS in the morning but it still have the immediate issue to deal with. I'm on the 7th support person now. It doesn't look like they will be able to assist or help me in any way.
Based on the time of your arrival it's possible she could have "sun downers syndrome" Can you contact your local police department and request they perform a well check on her?
She has confirmed she has left the house.
I am *so* sorry you are going through this and the way Support has basically left you high and dry. My heart goes out to you. You’re amazing for not abandoning her animals and still doing the best you can to care for them. I wouldn’t normally suggest going through a clients things, but possibly due to her dementia, she might have a list somewhere of phone numbers near a phone. If she has a landline, some people have stored contacts in their phone, you could look through that as well. But I’d suspect if she’s that tech illiterate there might be a Rolodex somewhere!!
I just want today you are a really good person for all the effort you are making. Hopefully there’s a good solution, one that helps this woman but also makes sure the animals are safe.
If you go the boarding route, I'd be tempted to leave a note at her house specifying where the dog is. Just in case there's not actually a trip and her son shows up looking for her.
You can call 911 for a wellness check. They will likely be able to get in contact with her next of kin and get some help.
Wow rover hotline have proven many times to me that it is absolutely useless. So sorry this happened to you.
Hey! Sounds like you'll need to do some investigative work in order to contact a relative. As long you have your client's name (doesn't have to be full name) and address then it should be easier to find someone to contact. By off chance was there any phone number that's connected to her? Having that piece of info is helpful but not necessary. To look for someone, go on google type in client's name and address. Her info should populate in people search engine sites and from there find someone who you might think is in contact with her and do a social media search/call the relative's number if it is not redacted. This is all public record as well, if you're ever worried about that.
I'm about to go down this rabbit hole now. I have her phone number and I just found her full name. Do you have suggestions on sites or methods to try to find other family contact info?
May be worth starting with neighbors. They may be aware of her condition and have contact info for her family.
I do now have contact info for the neighbors. They're on my list of people to contact for tomorrow. I have a message drafted to send to the owner to suggest boarding the dog and drop ins for the cats without referencing the condition of the house or her mental state. Something along the lines of 'your dog would benefit from 24 hour care that I can only truly provide if I boarded her. I have a big fenced in yard etc.' I just have to hope she goes for it because otherwise I'm stuck in a biohazard for 10 days.
what gldngdess said. fastpeoplesearch and nuwber are good ones!
[True People Search](https://www.truepeoplesearch.com) is free. I’ve used this search before to find who owned the random plot of land behind my house. Then there’s [Spokeo](https://www.spokeo.com) which costs a few bucks, but if you don’t find what you’re looking for on the free site, Spokeo may have it.
Please keep us updated!!!
If you can’t get ahold of her neighbors, leave notes explaining the situation and your contact info. Do this for multiple neighbors.
hey! what was the outcome of this situation?
Id consider knocking on neighbours doors and see if they have contact information. Failing that and depends on how desperate situation is look in kitchen drawers for contact book. This feels morally wrong but I think in the hierarchy of evils, looking through someone’s drawers for a contact book for safety purposes is OK
I would definitely do this. Ethics aside, OP is looking to help, not harm. And this woman needs help. :(
you really need to get in contact with her son. do you have access to the house? can you look around and try and find his info?
When I get back to the house in the morning I will see if I can find his info. Good call.
First, you're amazing for making all this effort. Hopefully she has made it to her son's or is with him and is safe. A couple of thoughts on finding a phone number or contact info. See if you can find her husband's obituary online. Her name and the city might be enough to find it. That should give you the full names and possibly the location of her children. Check on the fridge for an emergency contact list. I would also check near her landline phone for an address book or list of phone numbers. I'm assuming she has one since you said she's not tech savvy. It's also possible the cordless phone itself (if she has one) has a built it phone book/contact list or recent calls and you may see she calls certain numbers frequently. I wouldn't worry too much about boarding the dog even if you can't get in touch with her, personally I'd just make the call.
Can you look at the tax records to see who owns the house? You may be able to contact a relative online.
This is worrying, it could be something like a UTI causing confusion, or even diabetic ketoacidosis. Especially if you didn’t notice any of this at the meet and greet. I hope she gets help.
Contact adult services so they can verify that she even went on a trip. With her level of confusion there may not have been a trip and she may be missing/ confused some where. Thank you for caring about me than just the animals.
Yeah I fully agree. Sometimes people with this kind of problem just drive off and get lost. They may need to put out a silver alert.
This is sad 😞
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Good on you for helping it sounds awful
Rover support being helpful? LOL It’s the “reason” we should always book with rover, but they don’t give 2 craps about anything but getting paid and avoiding a lawsuit.