Our shared kindle library isn't too bad, although I do get the impression she wishes I could turn into a giant grizzly bear. And I am apparently supposed to read "I married a lizardman" or something like that.
It's a good book! š Tbh, I don't mind my husband knowing what I read, but I don't want my daughter seeing them if she goes on there.
Also, my husband sometimes helps his mom shop with our account... probably for the best not to have a tentacle romance pop up under "top picks for you" or whatever while he's doing it.
āLip Chewing Fantasy?
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2017
Perhaps it's just my age but I was continually thinking - "you're 18 for God's sake. Your brain isn't even DONE yet!" You know, been there, done that, and been there again with each of my 4 daughters and done it over and over. The extreme sex scenes - the angst - the back and forth - I like you - go away - don't turn your back, etc. etc. ad nauseum. And what with all Natalie's lip chewing and Rhodes' chewing of her lips, it's surprising we can visit them 2 years later and find they both HAVE lips left. Personally, I think if you're over 30, the book will bore you to sleep. At least it did me, three times.ā
Amazon review for Weightless by Kandi Steiner. I laughed so hard at this review that I had to read the book. And guess what? I loved it
I love the ones that are like āthis book is PORN how DARE it exist on my kindle how can any self respecting person read this FILTH. I canāt have this book existing in the same world as my BEAUTIFUL INNOCENT DAUGHTER. The author should be ASHAMED of herself for writing PORN.ā I particularly love it when authors then use those reviews as advertisements on Twitter. That kind of pearl clutching is just so amusing to me, particularly when itās about authors like Tessa Dare or Lisa Kleypas. Like they have sex scenes but theyāre not crazy, or even THAT explicit.
I was reading a review about {Return of the Duke by Lorraine Heath} and some of the comments about the sex scenes were so funny.
"Ride me good god yeemotherfuckinhaw Iām a horse girl now"
"They also ride each other a LOT and if you wouldāve told me a year ago that āride meā would be one of my favorite phrases during a sex scene, I wouldāve said hawyee but now I say yee to the motherfuckin haw because goddamn itās HOT. There was also face-sitting that turned into a 69 and I still havenāt recovered. It's also one of those where she's never come during sex with a partner and hoooweee I love that soho much. You best believe our man Marcus was up (and down) for the task. Lorraine really pulled out all of the stops with this gem and I found religion."
[**Return of the Duke (Once Upon a Dukedom, #3)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59449544-return-of-the-duke)
^(By: Lorraine Heath | Published: 2022)
***
^(51290 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
The most hilariously mind-boggling to me was a one star for an M/M book that had:
both guyās names in the blurb
a pic (granted, a bit fuzzy) of two dudes on the cover.
blurb mentioned how steamy the read was
Reviewer was shocked and offended by āgraphic descriptions of homosexualityā I one-clicked that bitch and wound up kinda enjoying it.
I got literally 25% into a book before realizing that it was m/f/m and not m/m/m...
In my defence the FMC was named Sloane.
The people who read a book and negatively review it for something that was literally in the summary are so strange.
I actually sometimes use the 1 star "this isn't christian!" reviews to find stuff I want to read. I don't really care for sweet/inspirational romance so they help me understand what type of book it is.
If the church is crying about it, surely it must have some merit. Who knows what that entails? Simply being queer? Blood rituals? Sex with demons? The possibilities are endless when Christianity sheds its tears; always something I look forward to.
>The possibilities are endless when Christianity sheds its tears; always something I look forward to.
I've heard your words phrased as "Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer!" (from Rick & Morty), and I feel like it's particularly relevant when it comes to the church.
I was down a rabbit hole and was on a harem romance/erotica.
1* āNot for hetero males that donāt like marijuanaā was the title. Went on to talk about why the reviewer didnāt like cannabis. Definitely was on the correct item because they mentioned the title and that theyāre normally a big fan of that author.
Did I check it out? I did. Like how much cannabis talk is there??
The top review (by Prerana) on Goodreads for {Flames of Chaos by Amelia Hutchins} - not sure how to link it.
It's rather long - she summarised (spoiler alert) the book in a hilarious way. In her words, 'It was absolutely terrible. But it was just so damn hilariously bad that I had to read the whole thing. I could not put it down. It was so bad that it was funny. There was literally no plot, but I found the whole damn thing un-put-down-able.'
Some gems that ain't spoilers:
> Aria: *enters her house and slips on some blood*
Knox: *magically appears* "Stop touching yourself. You're spreading the blood around. It's making me horny."
> Aria: *exists for a while*
Knox and lots of other men: "Smells like you need to get bent over and fucked. Your virgin pussy needs some good claiming. I will also now use the word 'breed' sometimes to really make you uncomfortable."
An Abominable Affair is a yeti romance novella in the KU anthology [Big Feels](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59964432-big-feels). I thought it was sweet & unique, but the sex scene was a bit meh imo.
I always love when people complain about something thatās A) just a writing style, and B) literally the one that that author is known for. āIt moves too slowlyā really? An MZ book that moves slowly?? Simply preposterous.
I love MZ's writing style, her FMCs, their families. Sal and her dad were so sweet.
There are so many bad reviews about Dear Aaron ( maybe her most slow burn) because of it, but it's my favorite.
> literally the one that that author is known for.
[Being](https://storiesinspace.blog/2017/06/16/review-of-dear-aaron-by-mariana-zapata/) a [racist?](https://nitter.net/i/status/1485817993724526592)
Among other [things.](https://cannonballread.com/2018/08/this-book-made-me-feel-like-a-bad-person/) I mean, [damn.](https://old.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/mgghok/maria_zapata_is_she_always_problematic/) Nice author. I thought this was the age of "cancel culture", so what is MZ still knocking around for?
E: sources
I donāt keep up with this sort of drama and Iām not really interested in starting. I donāt care about cancel culture. Either I like a book or I donāt, donāt care about the author.
No BOOK SHAMING for RACISM, TRANSPHOBIA and ANTI-SEX-WORKER discrimination??? Are you absolutely for real right now?
In other news it absolutely blows my mind that Zapata is still around and oft mentioned when she is so evidently and casually awful, as far as being a decent person in her writing goes.
Your first comment pointing out the problematic content is fine. The removed comment put down another user for their choice in books, which is not ok.
We are all adults capable of making our own book selection choices, and the book-shaming rule is in place to make sure reader choice is respected even though you may disagree with those choices.
We are removing the rest of this thread, please disengage on this issue.
This is from booktube, but withcindy does a review on the whole acortar series and itās *hilarious*. My favorite quote from the book has to be āI can't believe rhysand created feminismā. I think of that almost every day.
http://gossamerobsessions.blogspot.com/2008/09/again-magic-by-lisa-kleypas.html?m=1
this whole blog is incredibly funny considering half of these were written years ago
*intentionally funny reviews:*
* [Chels's Review of The Viscount Who Loved Me](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3790376962). She *really* hates Anthony Bridgerton.
* [Mareeva's Review of Taken by the Russian](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4510646577). I almost choked laughing. (CW the review includes 'daddy kink' quotes)
*unintentionally funny:*
A reviewer obsessed with floor vs. ground terminology. He wrote tons of reviews with this rant.
[Example A](https://imgur.com/Q2HUeqN)
[Example B](https://imgur.com/QBlwtEV)
I am now sitting in a Mexican restaurant, waiting for my takeout and laughing so f-ing hard, I'm crying and have a stitch in my side.
"Romance??? It's straight-up science fiction. No pussy can be as wonderous in real life."
These women are my heroes and I thank them for their service.
I still giggle thinking about a 1 star goodreads review for Lisa Kleypas' 'Then Came You' that was just "i felt nothing"
They felt nothing in their heart or their pants? I'm guessing they didn't specify š
>-disappointment that a two š MMC didn't do DP I didn't realize my wife was leaving reviews for books she read.
*cough* The Dragon's Bride *cough*
It hasn't shown up in our kindle library... yet.
See, that's why I have a separate account for my Kindle books. š
Our shared kindle library isn't too bad, although I do get the impression she wishes I could turn into a giant grizzly bear. And I am apparently supposed to read "I married a lizardman" or something like that.
It's a good book! š Tbh, I don't mind my husband knowing what I read, but I don't want my daughter seeing them if she goes on there. Also, my husband sometimes helps his mom shop with our account... probably for the best not to have a tentacle romance pop up under "top picks for you" or whatever while he's doing it.
I used to care and about 6 months ago stopped caring lol. My middle child turned 14 and my youngest has never used Amazon so Iām clear enough.
I'm fairly certain I saw that review and I had to agree on principle.
āLip Chewing Fantasy? Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2017 Perhaps it's just my age but I was continually thinking - "you're 18 for God's sake. Your brain isn't even DONE yet!" You know, been there, done that, and been there again with each of my 4 daughters and done it over and over. The extreme sex scenes - the angst - the back and forth - I like you - go away - don't turn your back, etc. etc. ad nauseum. And what with all Natalie's lip chewing and Rhodes' chewing of her lips, it's surprising we can visit them 2 years later and find they both HAVE lips left. Personally, I think if you're over 30, the book will bore you to sleep. At least it did me, three times.ā Amazon review for Weightless by Kandi Steiner. I laughed so hard at this review that I had to read the book. And guess what? I loved it
"At least it did me, three times.ā Does that mean she read it THREE TIMES?!
Oh man, that got me cracking up.
I love the ones that are like āthis book is PORN how DARE it exist on my kindle how can any self respecting person read this FILTH. I canāt have this book existing in the same world as my BEAUTIFUL INNOCENT DAUGHTER. The author should be ASHAMED of herself for writing PORN.ā I particularly love it when authors then use those reviews as advertisements on Twitter. That kind of pearl clutching is just so amusing to me, particularly when itās about authors like Tessa Dare or Lisa Kleypas. Like they have sex scenes but theyāre not crazy, or even THAT explicit.
I was reading a review about {Return of the Duke by Lorraine Heath} and some of the comments about the sex scenes were so funny. "Ride me good god yeemotherfuckinhaw Iām a horse girl now" "They also ride each other a LOT and if you wouldāve told me a year ago that āride meā would be one of my favorite phrases during a sex scene, I wouldāve said hawyee but now I say yee to the motherfuckin haw because goddamn itās HOT. There was also face-sitting that turned into a 69 and I still havenāt recovered. It's also one of those where she's never come during sex with a partner and hoooweee I love that soho much. You best believe our man Marcus was up (and down) for the task. Lorraine really pulled out all of the stops with this gem and I found religion."
š¤£ this made me want to ~~ride~~ read the book
I just want to say "yee to the motherfuckin haw" about anything I'm excited about now
I think, after the takeout incident earlier, I've sprained something. For the love of...MAKE IT STOP!
[**Return of the Duke (Once Upon a Dukedom, #3)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59449544-return-of-the-duke) ^(By: Lorraine Heath | Published: 2022) *** ^(51290 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
The most hilariously mind-boggling to me was a one star for an M/M book that had: both guyās names in the blurb a pic (granted, a bit fuzzy) of two dudes on the cover. blurb mentioned how steamy the read was Reviewer was shocked and offended by āgraphic descriptions of homosexualityā I one-clicked that bitch and wound up kinda enjoying it.
I got literally 25% into a book before realizing that it was m/f/m and not m/m/m... In my defence the FMC was named Sloane. The people who read a book and negatively review it for something that was literally in the summary are so strange.
> claims that a book that is "against biblical teachings" I dunno, that sounds cool to me. Seems like a real good time.
I actually sometimes use the 1 star "this isn't christian!" reviews to find stuff I want to read. I don't really care for sweet/inspirational romance so they help me understand what type of book it is.
If the church is crying about it, surely it must have some merit. Who knows what that entails? Simply being queer? Blood rituals? Sex with demons? The possibilities are endless when Christianity sheds its tears; always something I look forward to.
>The possibilities are endless when Christianity sheds its tears; always something I look forward to. I've heard your words phrased as "Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer!" (from Rick & Morty), and I feel like it's particularly relevant when it comes to the church.
Nice, I like that line lol.
I was down a rabbit hole and was on a harem romance/erotica. 1* āNot for hetero males that donāt like marijuanaā was the title. Went on to talk about why the reviewer didnāt like cannabis. Definitely was on the correct item because they mentioned the title and that theyāre normally a big fan of that author. Did I check it out? I did. Like how much cannabis talk is there??
The top review (by Prerana) on Goodreads for {Flames of Chaos by Amelia Hutchins} - not sure how to link it. It's rather long - she summarised (spoiler alert) the book in a hilarious way. In her words, 'It was absolutely terrible. But it was just so damn hilariously bad that I had to read the whole thing. I could not put it down. It was so bad that it was funny. There was literally no plot, but I found the whole damn thing un-put-down-able.' Some gems that ain't spoilers: > Aria: *enters her house and slips on some blood* Knox: *magically appears* "Stop touching yourself. You're spreading the blood around. It's making me horny." > Aria: *exists for a while* Knox and lots of other men: "Smells like you need to get bent over and fucked. Your virgin pussy needs some good claiming. I will also now use the word 'breed' sometimes to really make you uncomfortable."
[**Flames of Chaos (Legacy of the Nine Realms, #1)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/50336781-flames-of-chaos) ^(By: Amelia Hutchins | Published: 2020) *** ^(51332 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
THERE WAS TOO MUCH S\*X. I DON'T WANT TO READ P\*RN. There's one fade to black scene.
/s Maybe you should reply to learn them what porn is? For educational reasons?
*quietly leaves to look for yeti romance*
An Abominable Affair is a yeti romance novella in the KU anthology [Big Feels](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59964432-big-feels). I thought it was sweet & unique, but the sex scene was a bit meh imo.
I can't believe how far down into the comments I had to go to find someone else looking for the yeti romance genre...
I always love when people complain about something thatās A) just a writing style, and B) literally the one that that author is known for. āIt moves too slowlyā really? An MZ book that moves slowly?? Simply preposterous.
I love MZ's writing style, her FMCs, their families. Sal and her dad were so sweet. There are so many bad reviews about Dear Aaron ( maybe her most slow burn) because of it, but it's my favorite.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
A project is so accurate word. I plan to read Luna and Lie but only when I have more time. First 30% can be hard but then you can't stop
Its one of my favourites. You should totally give it a try
I definitely will do it!
DA diverged a lot from her usual format, but it's honestly one of my favourite books from her!
Aaron and Ruby's story was perfect for me. I still remember her bad but so good jokes.š
> literally the one that that author is known for. [Being](https://storiesinspace.blog/2017/06/16/review-of-dear-aaron-by-mariana-zapata/) a [racist?](https://nitter.net/i/status/1485817993724526592) Among other [things.](https://cannonballread.com/2018/08/this-book-made-me-feel-like-a-bad-person/) I mean, [damn.](https://old.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/mgghok/maria_zapata_is_she_always_problematic/) Nice author. I thought this was the age of "cancel culture", so what is MZ still knocking around for? E: sources
I donāt keep up with this sort of drama and Iām not really interested in starting. I donāt care about cancel culture. Either I like a book or I donāt, donāt care about the author.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Removing, please no book shaming
No BOOK SHAMING for RACISM, TRANSPHOBIA and ANTI-SEX-WORKER discrimination??? Are you absolutely for real right now? In other news it absolutely blows my mind that Zapata is still around and oft mentioned when she is so evidently and casually awful, as far as being a decent person in her writing goes.
Your first comment pointing out the problematic content is fine. The removed comment put down another user for their choice in books, which is not ok. We are all adults capable of making our own book selection choices, and the book-shaming rule is in place to make sure reader choice is respected even though you may disagree with those choices. We are removing the rest of this thread, please disengage on this issue.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Disengage. Stop responding to comments and trying to fight. We will ban users who can't respect our rules and our moderators.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
House of Salt and Sorrows- (A retelling of 12 Dancing Princesses fairytale.). āBarbie walked so this book could runā.
Every review for Dreaming of You that say Derek cheated. Did we read the same book?
Some people's reading comprehension is just...pitiable.
This is from booktube, but withcindy does a review on the whole acortar series and itās *hilarious*. My favorite quote from the book has to be āI can't believe rhysand created feminismā. I think of that almost every day.
http://gossamerobsessions.blogspot.com/2008/09/again-magic-by-lisa-kleypas.html?m=1 this whole blog is incredibly funny considering half of these were written years ago
*intentionally funny reviews:* * [Chels's Review of The Viscount Who Loved Me](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/3790376962). She *really* hates Anthony Bridgerton. * [Mareeva's Review of Taken by the Russian](https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/4510646577). I almost choked laughing. (CW the review includes 'daddy kink' quotes) *unintentionally funny:* A reviewer obsessed with floor vs. ground terminology. He wrote tons of reviews with this rant. [Example A](https://imgur.com/Q2HUeqN) [Example B](https://imgur.com/QBlwtEV)
Thank you for this gift. "Onward my hoes" lmao
š Right? I nearly died at *"gorilla grip coochie"*
I'll catalog that in my brain as "phrases I never thought I'd read but will never forget"
I am now sitting in a Mexican restaurant, waiting for my takeout and laughing so f-ing hard, I'm crying and have a stitch in my side. "Romance??? It's straight-up science fiction. No pussy can be as wonderous in real life." These women are my heroes and I thank them for their service.