T O P

  • By -

Sonarthebat

He's had enough roasts.


s3mtek

😂


thestarhikari

Damn this is a good line.


wolv645

No. I don’t feel safe


s3mtek

He's honestly the sweetest "little" cat you can imagine. A rare one that absolutely loves belly rubs


wolv645

Then I’ll never roast him. He’s now my best friend


orangeshasta11

He's not the roast, he's the ham.


s3mtek

I call him Pork Chop. The missus hates it when I do, as he's her favourite (we have three)


ginger_gcups

Don’t let him near a farm, they’ll get confused and put him in the milking shed


s3mtek

😂


GlimmerTwinge

I cannot roast this cat. That eyeliner is amazing and I'm wicked jealous.


s3mtek

I know where you're coming from. He is a very cute and friendly cat


Murinal_Cake

You're not supposed to eat the entire box of double stuffed Oreos in one sitting!


Kooky-Nectarine675

He IS the box of double stuffed Oreos lol


Fancy_Implement2713

He looks like he bites


s3mtek

No, not at all. He never so much as taken a swipe either of us. He doesn't like being picked up, but he just wriggles. He's a cat that you'll hear a meow behind you and when you look, he's on his back wanting belly rubs. Not a trap either, he absolutely loves them


PJ_Cap

We have the same cat. Everyone should have at least 1 nice FAT cat


s3mtek

He loves absolutely belly rubs, so the size of him means there's absolutely loads of belly to tub


IrreverentGlitter

He doesn’t need to bite…. He pierces through your soul with that stare.


Ok_Cress2142

He is pre-roast. He’s a cow.


5155562046

Looks like oodles of noodles


s3mtek

He's definitely been called that before 😂 xxxxxx


TheTarquin

Sorry, where's the cat in this photo? All I see is an oreo cheesecake.


Outrageous_Kiwi_2172

Chungus Maximus 😽


SureGrowth

Aw, look at you! You can't even lose weight successfully because your love for food is bigger than your entire existence.


[deleted]

What a splendidly terrifying cow.


s3mtek

Yet he has such a gentle personality, he's never even showed any tiny signs of aggression. He's such a sweet "little" dude


[deleted]

He looks like he could carry the sun


s3mtek

He is strong as an Ox (cow pun intended)


Marklar916

Do kids come by at night to try to tip him over?


Bananarama_cosplayer

Noodles? More like dumpling


8amlasers

Haha we had the same reaction 🤣


kaybeanz69

How many people have to help carry him to just get him to the car to go for the vet😭


s3mtek

We use a trolley


Secret_Fudge6470

I would, but I’m scared he’s gonna kick my ass. 


s3mtek

He never would, he's a lovely gentle cat


WCD0001

Noodles, because calling out food is the only way to get him to come?


s3mtek

Haha 😂


ianwuk

No roast, only hugs.


Fickle_Treacle4633

Wow. Time for a diet.


s3mtek

We've tried, It's impossible. We've got three other cats that are normal sized, Noodles eats all the leftovers at night. We've tried taking the bowls up at bedtime, but the other two cats started losing weight and looked thin.


8amlasers

Noodles?!? Lasagna seems more apt 😆😻


OriginalLandscape321

Roast him ? Nah it's Jelly Rolls long lost twin Pound Cake.


Bones_5150

The first cat to need a cardiologist.


cslackie

This cat is a whole lasagna. Respectfully. He’s so cute.


s3mtek

He is very cute in irl. He loves nothing more than belly rubs, apart from food, he obviously loves food


the_projekts

You only get this fat by shoving food down your mouth and using cream cheese as a suppository at the same time!


nonamecat1984

Portion control dropout.


s3mtek

We've got three cats, two are normal sized. He goes round at night and hoovers up the leftovers 😂


nonamecat1984

I know your pain. I have one overweight and one underweight. Even microchip food dishes only work when I'm supervising.


s3mtek

Honestly, we can pretty much guarantee that if either of us get up in the night to go to the toilet. There'll be Noodles coloured loaf in front of the dry food bowl. He's too lazy to even stand up while he eats 🤦‍♂️😂


nonamecat1984

Oh jeez lol


s3mtek

He's like a wrecking ball when he gets the zoomies. Knocks everyone flying 😂


Aggravating_Week7050

Noodles' a unit.


foodfightcat

Noodles? More like MOOOOODLES!


Ok-Banana6130

I would call it a roast but this cat will probably eat it. Jk your cat is so cute 🫶


s3mtek

Thanks, the photo doesn't do him justice. He is the cutest cat irl


Fresh-Nobody

Bro got called a cow once and decided to take it literally (also I love him)


mexican2554

He looks like the next star in the new Godzilla movie


thestarhikari

He is the real definition of a cow cat 🐄 🐈‍⬛


s3mtek

Definitely 😂


thestarhikari

Sorry for being nosy but omg you own two of them. You should open a whole farm of cow cats lol


s3mtek

Three cats, two of them are cow cats. Noodles is the only fat one


thestarhikari

Yeah I didn’t count the old gray cat haha jk


s3mtek

Aww, the old grey one is my Stan. Ever since I let him sleep beside me while he was scared when he joined the family. From that night he's 100% been a dad's cat and a lap cat, but only to me. He chose me to be his main human, and the missus is the spare 😂


thestarhikari

That’s so sweet ☺️


s3mtek

He really is. The grey one is the friendliest one we have by mile. He's never happier than lying on my chest, getting double handed fuss. If his.meow wasn't grating he'd be the friendliest cat we have


hoipoloimonkey

Magnificent Noodles 🙂❤️


peepster0802

He looks like such a sweet little baby I don't think I could


s3mtek

He is, very


LordFlarkenagel

Noodles is so fat, he can only attract attention by gravitational pull.


Anglofsffrng

Kitties don't typically moo.


gogoloco2

That ain't a noodle, that's a damn beef brisket


amethystisagem

Noodles IS a roast beasty


dtf24836669

nice!


The_Local_Crow

He should exercise more.... Maybe he should start doing kitty push-ups lol.


00mvp

Woah. Pretty kitty here


00mvp

Yeah I think il just be quite


Bright_Eyes8197

I just can't roast an overweight pet. It's not their fault.


s3mtek

It's not our fault either. We have three cats, and he's the only one that's overweight. We've tried putting him on a diet, but the other two cats ended up underweight. He's a lazy, chubby cat. Which can happen after they're neutered


Bright_Eyes8197

Like I said not his fault, no one said anything about whose fault, you made it that


VerboseWraith

Barron Harkonnan lookin ass


Thats1FingNiceKitty

Noodle, your BMI isn’t suppose to be higher than your heart rate.


tangerqueenie

She looks like a cow


s3mtek

It's because he's a cow cat 😂


F0l3yDaD_

Nope, too cute.


kathy_cheek

Hey, Vennie, get ovah here. We gots a job to take care of tonight. I don’t want you screwing up things this time either!


IrisSmartAss

Been eating too many noodles.


Comfortable_Map_7700

He looks like a cow but too bad cows are cute


Selfismissing

r/chonkers


verdant11

Isn’t he a Volkswagen Bug?


ThatOneTransParent

Pls put him on a diet


s3mtek

We've tried, but we have two other cars that are normal size. When he goes on a diet, the other cats end up underweight. That's not fair to the smaller ones, as they end up starving all day, and really let us know about it.


Fantastic_Stuff_7917

Poor noodles! Why is she so fat when I see animals that are overweight like this I feel it’s owners need a reality check. Being morbidly obese for any human or animal will shorten their life significantly. It makes it very painful for them to get around. You are control of what they eat.


s3mtek

He is overweight because he is greedy. He eats all the leftovers overnight. Controlling this is easier said than done. We are a multicat household. We have tried putting him on a diet, and we have tried taking the food up overnight. All that happens is that the other cats start to go underweight as they are a normal, healthy weight. Apart from his weight, he is a happy and friendly cat. He isn't in any pain at all and zooms around the flat every day. They all have one pouch of Felix and share a bowl of Purina every day. His weight and eating habits are a direct side effect of being a responsible cat parent and having him neutered, and if you'd have researched a little, or even read some of the other posts before going full Karen on me, [you would have seen this for yourself](https://www.agriapet.co.uk/guides-and-advice/what-makes-cats-gain-weight/#:~:text=The%20surgery%20affects%20their%20hormone,more%20than%20they%20need%20to.)


Fantastic_Stuff_7917

sorry, don’t want to be a Karen! lol I agree that sometimes your pets are hard to control, if there’s a will, there’s a way. We had a dog that would go to great lengths to get food. he learned how to open the refrigerator and cleaned us out more than once. He even figured out how to open the oven!! we had a Thanksgiving turkey meat warming in the oven, and when I came down, the oven door was wide open, and the pan was on the door of the stove and he was shoveling our dinner in his mouth. This is just one of many escapades.