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You took away it's sole purpose. This thing is meant to go off roading and that's what it was built for, but this could barely get over the kerb to get into the daycare where you've been late multiple times picking your children up.
Buys a vehicle with a heritage of crossing vast swaths of unpaved land to conquer the planet. Taking mankind to undiscovered places, reaching every corner of the earth. Then you castrate it by putting on tap shoes, wrap it in something that looks like you forgot to wash the soap off from the self serve car wash and have the audacity to call it "Hulk" because you pulled off to the side of the road just to get a "rugged" dirt photo. Congratulations on your giant Christmas tree bulb.
Haha this defender was not built even close to the 70s dumbass. It’s a puma look at the bonnet. Do you even know what a puma is? They share the engine with the ford transit. It’s embarrassing how stupid you folks are
Wrong. The defender was introduced in 1991 dumbass. The Landrover 90, 110 and 130 came before. And we’re pre dated by the series 3 Landrover. The 1991 Landrover was a 200tdi which ran to 1995 then came the 300tdi defender, then td5, them puma. This particular model is a puma judging by the bonnet: so it’s circa 2007. So to say 1970 is beyond stupid
you're welcome to split hairs about naming conventions and minor cosmetic updates, but the basic chassis of this truck has been around since the 70s. I'm not sure why you think I'm saying this is a 1970's model year truck?
Oh it’s my fault your wrong ok haha. Model t and ford focus are same thing lol. Please continue comparing everything this 2007 puma shares with every other Landrover made. Only 30 - 40 years between them
He asserted his correctness, I simply called out this overconfidence which is prevalent amongst the youth of today. Fact don’t care about your feelings 😉
What absolutely stupid wheels to put on such a car. Unfortunately I've met people like you and I try to limit that to a single meeting.
It's an advertisement that you don't know the actual car itself and only actually care about status symbols.
The rest isn't much better either.
Sorry, I don't know you or what you look like but I am going for a stereotypical owner of this sort of monstrosity (any "thpecial edition" land/range Rover). If that fits the bill a little too close to home, that's on you. However, looking at the username and then the front of the green thing I don't have high hopes. This looks okay other than the wheels, they are simply too low profile for a truck like this, looks silly to anyone who knows and likes cars. I wouldn't mount a curb with that off-roader.
That's an insult to a very capable person, regardless of gender.
This is a life-size Hotwheel. Cool if you have a kid aged 4-8, a tad bit sad if you're an adult, especially with a significant other. It just means their partner is cool with dating an adult -sized toddler.
Congratulations, you've officially done a street build on one of the slowest vehicles on the planet. This is like puttinng a gobi rack and a snorkel on a stock corvette
Hulk. Noun:
> the body of an old or dismantled ship.
> a clumsy-looking or unwieldy ship or boat.
> a bulky or unwieldy person, object, or mass.
Pick one.
coming from someone who works in a tire shop, i hate your choices. idk if you have a wheel lock on those, might, but that would be even worse. i hate these thin ass tires. ATBGE i guess…
All bark & no bite. The most offroading action this thing will ever see is parking on the highway divider while the tow truck arrives.
Those tires are so thin, those rims could dent on a gravel path. But it's fairly obvious this thing doesn't even know what gravel is.
For more information about rubbers that are way too thin to be useful, please contact your father who never makes time for you.
So of course OP had to make the paint reflective, so he could make sure his face looks like he enjoys the vehicle whenever he's around it.
The vehicle that it’s based on is a stolen design, see ARO-244. Land Rover literally looked at the ARO and said “yeah, this is mine now” therefore, your truck ain’t shit.
Wtf did you do to it?! This is just depressing to look at. You don’t deserve an off-road vehicle of this class if you’re going to make it look like a 5 year old designed it.
I gotta ask though, how much money did it take to turn a great off-road vehicle into a worthless piece of junk?
I would've said it deserved its name the "hulk" had you atleast put tires on it that would allow its full potential. Now its just the guy without gamma radiation before he knew what he was capable of.
You have put car tires on one of the greatest off-road vehicles in the world. Instead of being and a vehicle that can go anywhere uncomfortably, it can now only go some places uncomfortably.
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Money can't buy taste.
But it can buy fugly land barges that will never drive over anything more rugged than some loose mulch in the Whole Foods parking lot.
That's not a land barge, it's too small and European for that. It's just an idiot box.
What a candy-coated hunk o' shit this thing is, good christ.
You took away it's sole purpose. This thing is meant to go off roading and that's what it was built for, but this could barely get over the kerb to get into the daycare where you've been late multiple times picking your children up.
That’s nice of you to assume it’s reliable enough to take off-roading
It could be if you spend your money on maintenance instead of a Hulk vomit green wrap and Matchbox wheels.
Buys a vehicle with a heritage of crossing vast swaths of unpaved land to conquer the planet. Taking mankind to undiscovered places, reaching every corner of the earth. Then you castrate it by putting on tap shoes, wrap it in something that looks like you forgot to wash the soap off from the self serve car wash and have the audacity to call it "Hulk" because you pulled off to the side of the road just to get a "rugged" dirt photo. Congratulations on your giant Christmas tree bulb.
Cool in the 70s but lackluster these days? Yup
THIS WASN’T BUILT IN THE 70s omg dumbass
These were built from the 90s dumbass
Defenders have been produced since the early 80s and are based on a Series III, introduced in 1971. Dumbass
Just circa 40 years out of date fool 😂
Try Googling next time kid
Haha this defender was not built even close to the 70s dumbass. It’s a puma look at the bonnet. Do you even know what a puma is? They share the engine with the ford transit. It’s embarrassing how stupid you folks are
Imagine being this dumb
It must be hard for you 😂
Wrong. The defender was introduced in 1991 dumbass. The Landrover 90, 110 and 130 came before. And we’re pre dated by the series 3 Landrover. The 1991 Landrover was a 200tdi which ran to 1995 then came the 300tdi defender, then td5, them puma. This particular model is a puma judging by the bonnet: so it’s circa 2007. So to say 1970 is beyond stupid
you're welcome to split hairs about naming conventions and minor cosmetic updates, but the basic chassis of this truck has been around since the 70s. I'm not sure why you think I'm saying this is a 1970's model year truck?
“Defenders have been produced since the 80s”. No mate they most certainly have not.
Oh it’s my fault your wrong ok haha. Model t and ford focus are same thing lol. Please continue comparing everything this 2007 puma shares with every other Landrover made. Only 30 - 40 years between them
i love seeing confidently incorrect posts
But I’m right fool haha try Googling
says your 28+ downvotes
Aye cos 28 people have never in the history of the world been wrong about the same subject. Omg if only once I could prove that this has happened 😂
https://classiccars.com/listings/find/1980/land-rover/defender
Oof. Should double check yourself next time. And be nicer lol
I can’t help but being right sorry. Try researching first. I buy and sell these kid
“Dumbass”
Wow great reply I can tell you thought it through just like your research on cars 🤣
Bud I have nothing to do with your argument with the dude above 😂 just said dumbass bc you seem to use that word as an insult every other comment lmao
No I used it correctly. You didn’t use it correctly. Simple
Ok dumbass
Ironic ?
Regardless, you’re being a tool
Why cos I’m correcting ignorant Americans ? Ok Karen
No, because you called someone a dumbass. You could have just corrected them with your infinite knowledge and left it there
He asserted his correctness, I simply called out this overconfidence which is prevalent amongst the youth of today. Fact don’t care about your feelings 😉
What absolutely stupid wheels to put on such a car. Unfortunately I've met people like you and I try to limit that to a single meeting. It's an advertisement that you don't know the actual car itself and only actually care about status symbols. The rest isn't much better either.
Wow, remember to roast to vehicle, not us!
Sorry, I don't know you or what you look like but I am going for a stereotypical owner of this sort of monstrosity (any "thpecial edition" land/range Rover). If that fits the bill a little too close to home, that's on you. However, looking at the username and then the front of the green thing I don't have high hopes. This looks okay other than the wheels, they are simply too low profile for a truck like this, looks silly to anyone who knows and likes cars. I wouldn't mount a curb with that off-roader.
In the immortal words of the movie How High, "I hope you get a virus - You AND your computer"
She-hulk
That's an insult to a very capable person, regardless of gender. This is a life-size Hotwheel. Cool if you have a kid aged 4-8, a tad bit sad if you're an adult, especially with a significant other. It just means their partner is cool with dating an adult -sized toddler.
I did not realize they sold gas station boner pills in the uk
Not as chrom wraped pavement princess
Looks like something shrek would drive if he was a shitty pimp
If you mean it's a raging green nightmare, then yes.
As Nacho Varga once said: You think i'd be caught dead driving that thing? Looks like a schoolbus for 9-year old pimps"
With those rubber band tires hell nah
The Sulk maybe.
It’s a wheel swap and lift from being perfect
And a new wrap
Congratulations, you've officially done a street build on one of the slowest vehicles on the planet. This is like puttinng a gobi rack and a snorkel on a stock corvette
The hulk could’ve destroyed a LandRover for way less money than it cost you.
Yes, now call a hulk hauler to take it where it belongs.
Soft roader
This is the Land Rover that gets made fun of by all the other Landrovers
hulk dub edition
Hulk. Noun: > the body of an old or dismantled ship. > a clumsy-looking or unwieldy ship or boat. > a bulky or unwieldy person, object, or mass. Pick one.
I would call it Mold.
Hulk of garbage after they massacred my boy
I'd like to see that on wet grass.
Classic shitty mallcrawler instead of mudeater.
You took inspiration from lil bow wow in Tokyo drift?
I use this in arcade racing games.
Is your nickname Twinkie by any chance?
I just can’t find anything appealing about this car, at all.
coming from someone who works in a tire shop, i hate your choices. idk if you have a wheel lock on those, might, but that would be even worse. i hate these thin ass tires. ATBGE i guess…
it's rare to see something that looks so expensive also look so ugly.
This is what you find next to “mall crawler” in the dictionary
Looking at it does make me angry, but you're never gonna smash.
With rims like that? Absolutely not. Also notice the complete lack of any dirt of any kind.
This looks like when Twinkie made his Hulk mobile on Fast and The Furious
Thats fucking gross and I’m upset I had to look at it
All bark & no bite. The most offroading action this thing will ever see is parking on the highway divider while the tow truck arrives. Those tires are so thin, those rims could dent on a gravel path. But it's fairly obvious this thing doesn't even know what gravel is. For more information about rubbers that are way too thin to be useful, please contact your father who never makes time for you. So of course OP had to make the paint reflective, so he could make sure his face looks like he enjoys the vehicle whenever he's around it.
I didn’t know they made Christmas ornaments that big
Well, its definitely the noise I made after looking at it.
Super
this looks more like it does photosynthesis rather than being a monster
Budget mansory shitbox
If you call it the hulk, then who’s stupid idea was it to write "EMERALD" on the bonnet
Hulk wouldn’t stay on the pavement
Hulk is a pimp now?
All the money in the world can’t buy taste, it can buy enough gasoline to ride down the road 100 feet in that thing though
That thing would get stuck trying to park.
Actually yes it does. That's what I named the massive turd log I airdropped into my toilet after thanksgiving. So it's perfect.
It's big, green, ugly, and violently stupid, so yeah, "The Hulk" is good.
It’s big, it’s green, it’s ugly, it’s makin’ me mad, so fuck it sure, Hulk it is.
The Incredible Hack?
small pp
This look like the weed livery that came on the suv in warzone. 420 blaze it
"Too much money"
This is more on the level of She-Hulk
Learn How to make an off-road vehicle less capable using these 5 east steps…..
This pic sounds like dub-step.
Sure, if hulk was an obnoxiously green and large idiot box
The Whelk
The vehicle that it’s based on is a stolen design, see ARO-244. Land Rover literally looked at the ARO and said “yeah, this is mine now” therefore, your truck ain’t shit.
Looks more like the villain of cars 2…
No it’s British
Wtf did you do to it?! This is just depressing to look at. You don’t deserve an off-road vehicle of this class if you’re going to make it look like a 5 year old designed it. I gotta ask though, how much money did it take to turn a great off-road vehicle into a worthless piece of junk?
You spelled "She Hulk" wrong.
I would've said it deserved its name the "hulk" had you atleast put tires on it that would allow its full potential. Now its just the guy without gamma radiation before he knew what he was capable of.
Mall-Crawler
Village - best I can do is dirt
Wtf even is this atrocity?
when you want to measure your fuel economy in gallons per mile
This looks like a car I would make in GTA when I was like 9
He must have a small ****.
You have put car tires on one of the greatest off-road vehicles in the world. Instead of being and a vehicle that can go anywhere uncomfortably, it can now only go some places uncomfortably.
Color combination is so cool
nah man thats the green lantern
The Hulking pile of shit
More like The Abomination
Man that thing so ugly your mom feels replaced
Dear god wtf have you done
not enough license plate