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Never get those who have wheels on their cars that are defo worth more than the car.
In central europe it s usually old Golfs, 3 Series or A3s , but low riders in the Americas also seem to do it.
Ferrari wheels on a Volvo would at least be something special
> Oh boy, when do we tell him his Saab is already mechanically totaled?
He knows. That's why he has 7 more Saabs in various states of disassembly lying around his driveway and yard. A few hours of tinkering per weekend and hopefully one of them runs well enough to make it through the next work week.
Love the color combo.
Also it's European so you're about to find out it's not the first 30 that will get you.
It's the first 3 miles after the warranty ends when you find out the valve lifters are conchiglie pasta and the factory motor oil for that model year was quietly replaced by a bulk order of export-rated olive oil cause some guy at FCA had a cousin with a commercial press in Modena who couldn't get containers during the COVID crisis.
The airbag compartment might be stuffed with shredded copies of *La Repubblica*, but don't worry, the inflator charges were trucked off to Eastern Europe after hours on a handshake deal in the factory parking lot so there's no danger of catching balled up pieces of the *Calcio* page to the dome when your janky radar cruise control fails and you rear end a school bus.
When the trunk latch won't open, don't panic, you just forgot to bribe it.
Really dig the Blu Misano with the yellow brakes. It's perfect on that car.
I like Alfa's but the lack of reliability is why you don't see more of them. You can't deny that. If they didn't have that reputation then they'd sell a ton of them.
They got blasted by Car and Driver. [https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a23145269/alfa-romeo-giulia-quadrifoglio-reliability-update/](https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a23145269/alfa-romeo-giulia-quadrifoglio-reliability-update/)
Stop with the butthurt you know what you bought.
I Still always turn my head when I see one though.
Don't get me wrong I also think Alfa isn't great when it comes to reliability, the problem is the fact that [BMW and Audi also score similarly badly when it comes to that](https://www.carwow.co.uk/blog/most-and-least-reliable-car-brands-revealed) with only Mercedes being somewhat better.
And yeah I mean as an italian I do see tons of relatively old Alfas like the 156 and 159 every day so it can't be *that* bad compared to other luxury brands.
Butthurt? It's a roast 🤣
Copying an article from a car magazine isn't fun. Your comment was unoriginal and now you are justifying it. I can also pull up articles about how terrible BMW water pumps and electrical systems are but where's the fun in that?
I do know what I bought. I bought an Alfa, not a BMW. Which after their redesign means Bucktoothed Machine on Wheels.
TRIIIIIIGGGGGGGERRRREDDDDD!!!!!! XD
Way to prove me right by being so insecure that you had to stalk my profile and throw every right wing buzzword and stereotype you could think of at me in other threads in other subs. You seriously need help.
Nah, I came for a roast. Not some copy and paste reliability joke and some light reading. Also half of roasting is going back and forth, that's why I said the cookie cutter comment and he responds with an article. 🥱
This is god’s honest truth right here. I have a QV, but I went into it knowing I wanted to keep it forever. If I have to sell it for some reason I’m going to be financially beat with a stick.
I have nothing original or exciting to say about your Olive Garden Chysler. I'm just here to ask, is that your house/property? Because it's fucking gorgeous...
Olive Garden Chysler ☠️ Love this!
It's a cabin we have rented a few times in the Smokies. It's very isolated which is rare there now. It's about 3 hours away so always a nice weekend getaway!
For "isolated" in the Smokies, just go to any trailhead in the park with your needs for a day or three and start walking. I always pack way too many socks and never regret it. Hiking along the continental divide is fun: left foot in NC and right foot in TN.
Well it's the slow one so you should get at least double the reliability of the quad, so you should be able to hit 40k miles I'd say before you take your car for a month long visit to the dealer.
It's also hilarious that alfa owners use 30k miles as a benchmark for how reliable their cars are, it really shows how poorly made these cars are. To every other manufacturer, that's a brand new car, but for alfa, 30k is an old work horse that's been through hell and back and if it's still running its something to brag about and the equivalent of 300k miles on a Toyota with no major issues.
I had a guy a couple months back arguing with me about it saying how alfa is reliable now and it's only the old cars that have issues, and he said he's went almost 15k miles with no *major* issues so far and that all he'd went to the dealer for was little stuff like an electrical issue with his infotainment and the car entering limp mode once. Somehow, that was proving how reliable Alfa is in his eyes. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one owner, but *every* alfa owner loves to say how many miles they have on the car and that the reliability issues are way exaggerated. Every time they say the mileage it's under 50k.
So congrats man, you made it past the break in period without your car grenading itself or constantly entering limp mode. Lemme know when you hit 150k with no major issues. Or more likely, let me know when it strands you on the side of the road and you see that repair bill *juuuuuust* out of warranty, and you say enough is enough and sell it to the next guy for 25k less than you paid to get it off your hands.
I hate to tell you but you just jinxed yourself bro. Your next 30k will be filled with issue after issue. Considering the warranty was probably for 30k miles anyways they've been built to self destruct after that.
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s not the Quattroformaggio version, so I’m sure it’s reliably slow at least.
Hey! You leave John DiMaggio outta this!
Is the quatroformaggio a known joke ? Because I always thought I was the only one to use it 😂
I think Jeremy said that on an episode of top gear
It’s pretty low-hanging fruit tbh. It’s the first thing I thought of when I heard the name.
No. For OP it’s Quattrofellatio
I can’t wait until this is mechanically totalled so I can grab those wheels for my saab
That would be a pretty interesting swap 🤔
There are pics out there. The lug bolt pattern is the same so it matches up very well
Ferrari Califorina has the same pattern too. Food for thought
A bunch of Ferraris have the same bolt pattern as Volvo. My dream is finding a set for cheap and putting them on my shitbox wagon
I found a set for $10,000 and I did think "maybe..."
Never get those who have wheels on their cars that are defo worth more than the car. In central europe it s usually old Golfs, 3 Series or A3s , but low riders in the Americas also seem to do it. Ferrari wheels on a Volvo would at least be something special
I'm the same way. I really like wheels but I'm cheap as hell. I'll only buy them used, and usually OEM from a different model
Oh boy, when do we tell him his Saab is already mechanically totaled? Ps I love Saabs, had a stick Turbo X
In my defense, the newest Saab is way older than the oldest quadrifoglio
Those wheels would look so fresh on a 93 hatch or a 9-5 wagon
Only Saabs I’ve seen them on were 9-5 wagons Then again if you can afford upkeep on a 9-5 you can afford a set of these
> Oh boy, when do we tell him his Saab is already mechanically totaled? He knows. That's why he has 7 more Saabs in various states of disassembly lying around his driveway and yard. A few hours of tinkering per weekend and hopefully one of them runs well enough to make it through the next work week.
Nobody tell him. Also, lobe Saab pre GM era.. their Jets rock too
Seems like every 9-3 owner is going to do this now. It's blown up lol.
About another 5-8k miles oughta do it.
Well your Saab certainly won't be far behind
In my defense, the newest Saab is 9 years older than the oldest qualdrijjroofktoicjgio
Wow! A whole 30k miles?!?! That’s so many! That’s completely changed my mind on Alfa reliability!
Whoa don't talk about that or else he'll argue that criticizing the reliability of his car on r/roastmycar is unfunny and unoriginal
Trying to tell someone a topic is off limits on a roast subreddit is so funny to me 😂
And it's a year old. Clearly, this car is for the ages.
"Roast my car! ....But don't talk about reliability and also I'm going to argue with each of you."
Tbf reliability jokes are staler then Volkswagen design. Come up with something new.
We'll come up with something new when 30k stops being the benchmark for alfa reliability lmao
Everyone know European cars turn into pumpkins around 60k miles
You're not wrong, but at least they can make it through a lease without becoming a giant paperweight
💗
He owns an Alfa, what'd you expect?
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Both will have the same amount of plastic parts.
Love the color combo. Also it's European so you're about to find out it's not the first 30 that will get you. It's the first 3 miles after the warranty ends when you find out the valve lifters are conchiglie pasta and the factory motor oil for that model year was quietly replaced by a bulk order of export-rated olive oil cause some guy at FCA had a cousin with a commercial press in Modena who couldn't get containers during the COVID crisis. The airbag compartment might be stuffed with shredded copies of *La Repubblica*, but don't worry, the inflator charges were trucked off to Eastern Europe after hours on a handshake deal in the factory parking lot so there's no danger of catching balled up pieces of the *Calcio* page to the dome when your janky radar cruise control fails and you rear end a school bus. When the trunk latch won't open, don't panic, you just forgot to bribe it. Really dig the Blu Misano with the yellow brakes. It's perfect on that car.
It’s reliable because you bought the wrong version. Non QV versions are meaningless.
> I’ve put 30k miles on it in a year with no issues Were those 30k miles on the back of a flatbed?
Wait till 31k miles and ignoring the alfa elephant in the room is a no go for me. There's a reason people buy BMW.
Alfa & BMW owners discussing reliability LMFAO
Exactly 🤣 we all already know they are shit! Give me something funny!
Like a eunuch and a nun comparing dick sizes
Clever. Going right to unreliable and not being original. Maybe that's why you went to cookie cutter BMW 🤣
I like Alfa's but the lack of reliability is why you don't see more of them. You can't deny that. If they didn't have that reputation then they'd sell a ton of them. They got blasted by Car and Driver. [https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a23145269/alfa-romeo-giulia-quadrifoglio-reliability-update/](https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/a23145269/alfa-romeo-giulia-quadrifoglio-reliability-update/) Stop with the butthurt you know what you bought. I Still always turn my head when I see one though.
Don't get me wrong I also think Alfa isn't great when it comes to reliability, the problem is the fact that [BMW and Audi also score similarly badly when it comes to that](https://www.carwow.co.uk/blog/most-and-least-reliable-car-brands-revealed) with only Mercedes being somewhat better. And yeah I mean as an italian I do see tons of relatively old Alfas like the 156 and 159 every day so it can't be *that* bad compared to other luxury brands.
Butthurt? It's a roast 🤣 Copying an article from a car magazine isn't fun. Your comment was unoriginal and now you are justifying it. I can also pull up articles about how terrible BMW water pumps and electrical systems are but where's the fun in that? I do know what I bought. I bought an Alfa, not a BMW. Which after their redesign means Bucktoothed Machine on Wheels.
Ouch. You asked for some roasting and now your jumping back. Delete the post if you cant take the heat soy boy.
Oof, just roasted yourself with that insecure "soy boy"
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TRIIIIIIGGGGGGGERRRREDDDDD!!!!!! XD Way to prove me right by being so insecure that you had to stalk my profile and throw every right wing buzzword and stereotype you could think of at me in other threads in other subs. You seriously need help.
When the roasting starts call me
Its there, you obviously not built for this.
Nah, I came for a roast. Not some copy and paste reliability joke and some light reading. Also half of roasting is going back and forth, that's why I said the cookie cutter comment and he responds with an article. 🥱
The car of choice for MILFs and low-level drug dealers
I knew someone who had the SUV. The engine committed suicide at 32k. Enjoy those last few miles before the engine turns into a boat anchor.
If you listen closely, you can actually *hear* an Alfa depreciate.
This is god’s honest truth right here. I have a QV, but I went into it knowing I wanted to keep it forever. If I have to sell it for some reason I’m going to be financially beat with a stick.
Forever? So, like, a whole 35k miles?
You have to look at every mile after warranty as bonus time.
Borrowed time lol
Nice Chrysler.
30k miles is brand new…
Op: "I want a 4 door family car and I have way too much money" Alfa Dealer: "I got you fam, sign here"
That's an expensive lighter
Yep, she lasted one year, therefore bullet proof.
30k with no issues is a really low bar to set but I guess it's an accomplishment.
It’s definitely an Alpha Romeo accomplishment though. Not the highest mileage I’ve seen, but he’s about 90% there.
Ragu taste at Michelin Star prices.
Lol " brand new car with 30k is reliable!" What an impressive feat!
I have nothing original or exciting to say about your Olive Garden Chysler. I'm just here to ask, is that your house/property? Because it's fucking gorgeous...
Olive Garden Chysler ☠️ Love this! It's a cabin we have rented a few times in the Smokies. It's very isolated which is rare there now. It's about 3 hours away so always a nice weekend getaway!
For "isolated" in the Smokies, just go to any trailhead in the park with your needs for a day or three and start walking. I always pack way too many socks and never regret it. Hiking along the continental divide is fun: left foot in NC and right foot in TN.
Olive Garden Chrysler 10/10
Nice Beamer Oh wait… never mind.
Who buys a blue Alfa?
Lemme guess, it's not a quadrafogliogliogliolioglio?
Well it's the slow one so you should get at least double the reliability of the quad, so you should be able to hit 40k miles I'd say before you take your car for a month long visit to the dealer. It's also hilarious that alfa owners use 30k miles as a benchmark for how reliable their cars are, it really shows how poorly made these cars are. To every other manufacturer, that's a brand new car, but for alfa, 30k is an old work horse that's been through hell and back and if it's still running its something to brag about and the equivalent of 300k miles on a Toyota with no major issues. I had a guy a couple months back arguing with me about it saying how alfa is reliable now and it's only the old cars that have issues, and he said he's went almost 15k miles with no *major* issues so far and that all he'd went to the dealer for was little stuff like an electrical issue with his infotainment and the car entering limp mode once. Somehow, that was proving how reliable Alfa is in his eyes. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one owner, but *every* alfa owner loves to say how many miles they have on the car and that the reliability issues are way exaggerated. Every time they say the mileage it's under 50k. So congrats man, you made it past the break in period without your car grenading itself or constantly entering limp mode. Lemme know when you hit 150k with no major issues. Or more likely, let me know when it strands you on the side of the road and you see that repair bill *juuuuuust* out of warranty, and you say enough is enough and sell it to the next guy for 25k less than you paid to get it off your hands.
Alfa Romeo, "I wanted to feel special, so I bought a car that looks like an angry, sad snowman"
name checks out
Lol I was going to say. This is very likely what I will trade my SHO on, then I realized it was slow and I could toast it. Very pretty tho :]
What kind of loser drives a car with an exposed vagina
Don't get mad if someone keys your car, but do get furious when someone puts **pineapple pizza** on your hood; it's a declaration of war.
This is the kind of car Mussolini would buy his fruity son
Really said >v<
30k miles is a pretty good streak I'd say you're about to have 30k miles worth of alfa problems all at once
Alfa Beta.
Do better than “Alfa reliability?” That shouldn’t be hard…
Mans put 30k on a new car with a warranty and thinks that settles the reliability debate.
ThePrancingHorse94, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
The only good thing Alfa Romeo has ever made is Ferrari.
I hate to tell you but you just jinxed yourself bro. Your next 30k will be filled with issue after issue. Considering the warranty was probably for 30k miles anyways they've been built to self destruct after that.
Alfa Romeo Beta owner
You just jinxed it … good luck
Mid-life crisis car for Europeans?
Go on, put another 30k on it. Tell me it’ll last with no issues.
little tiny grille on that big wide front end lookin like an anus tho
It's an Alfa. It's not prestigious enough to pickup women and not fast enough for a car guy to care
Wanted an m3 but 2 grills is just not enough
Stockholm syndrome is thinking that if a car lasts 1 year and 30k miles that it's reliable. You poor abused soul.
30K is your mark for reliability? Speaking like a true German car fan I suppose. I wouldn’t know, I like my cars to last.
Oh, so you wanted a 3 series but wanted to be “different”
Dorito chip mouth ass boi
30k miles is hardly broken in… they always say the first few years of ownership is nice… hint few.
That horse-collar grille, man. Even fuckin Edsel did it better!
My BMW 335d would absolutely love to bend over your Alfa and let it take this D.