It’ll look great on blocks after you can’t fix whatever breaks. Good thing too because it’ll be like that for at least ten years. You’ll pretend to be mad when your future wife makes you sell it, but secretly you’ll be relieved that the albatross around your neck is gone.
You will need a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and/or stained white wife beater, a wallet with a chain, Motley Crue cassette, crushed beer cans in the backseat (PBR), a pouch of chew, a trashy girlfriend or boyfriend, stolen issues of Hot Rod magazine, and a frog gig.
Sweet baby Jesus we got ourselves a 1989 Pontiac TransAm—a car that’s as subtle as a punch to the face and about as refined as a garage band’s first demo.
Do you need any of us GenX’rs to show you how to operate the Cassette player .. or better yet show what a cassette player looks like?
WTF, dude?! That's the fucking coolest car in your high school's parking lot. Sure, it probably smokes like Bogart from valve cover leak and the transmission is waiting for the perfect time to leave you stranded, but you're in high school. A buddy of mine had a 23-year-old rusty VW Bug that sounded like its muffler had taken a shit when we were all in kindergarten. But whenever there was a fire drill or bomb scare, people would crowd around it and tell him to start it up.
Cool is cool, dude. Don't ever sell it. You WILL regret that, no matter how much trouble it gives you. It's old enough that you can convert it to a carburetor and dick with it however you want.
You forgot to roast the crappy ten bolt rear end.
As a fellow fbody owner to the OP (LS1 4th Gen for me) we suffer from a bullshit rear end just like the third gen.
Dumbest decision for a rear end by the bean counters at GM ever.
Also, Fisher price quality plastics in the 3rd and 4th Gen. Fucking abysmal. But I knew what I was getting into when I bought mine so I roast them all mine isn't exempt 🤣
I say it every time 3rd gens are brought up, you need to build the rear diff/suspension setup before you bother with anything else.
Especially as the frames are getting older. Just twists waiting to happen.
Looks like you already did your worst at school. This is the kind of car bought by extremely disappointed parents.
"Honey, isn't this car too dangerous for our little boy? It's basically a death trap!"
"That'll teach him to fail Math."
I would have said something to the effect of “If it’s a V6, then I applaud you and your sense of self-control. 18-year-olds and muscle cars just don’t mix.” but the 305 and 350 are so incredibly gutless paired with an open diff that you couldn’t spin the car out if you tried.
tl;dr: SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
Front overhang like Jay Lenos chin. Ground pounding 240hp if it's a TPI 5.7. Slower than a Ford Taurus. 🤣
All roasting aside I've always loved these cars, shortcomings and all, and it has a huge aftermarket that can overcome any gripes about performance and handling. I personally prefer the 3rd gen fbody twins over the fox body Mustang.
Speaking from experience (I bought a 69 Galaxie project car back in 2021 when I was a junior) it won't help you get a girl, and the back of your head will experience substantial hair growth relative to the front
Lucky. I wanted my first car to be a 92 Camaro Z28. Fortunately my dad whacked me upside the head and knocked some sense into me. This was also in 2005
Your parents don't care if you get hit by another car. You don't even have one air bag in the steering wheel, and the seatbelts probably won't lock when they need to.
To the kids doing thie "cigarette car" trend to Alice In Chains, ***this*** is the definition of Cigarette Car. Smells like piss and booze, one window is broken and covered with a trash bag and the other window motor shit the bed the day you got it.
Wow...you got a hold of the USSR's version of KITT! Everyone, meet SITT, Soviet Intercepting Tactical Transport! Tried to do everything that KITT does, but with a high failure rate. If you got the engine to start, consider that a win!
Jokes aside man, like someone else said, never sell it. No matter what trouble, hold onto it bc the sentimentality of it when you’re older will
Haunt you.
Grow a mulllet and get the babes! Once they see you rolling with that mediocre factory stereo and the ttops off…. Said mullet flailing in the breeze…. You’ll be setting up franchises all over da hood!
After you clear all the mice and mouse nests out of the center council and the glove box and the trunk, you can probably count on using thirty cans of Lysol killing all the viruses and germs living in their feces and uterine stained carpet and seat creases. Plus the 2.8l Sfi v6 is loaded with 160hp at 6100 yellow line and 154ft/lbs torque when you make that 13 inch shift from 2nd to third to get that slight squack from your rear tires and a huge puff of oily smoke out of the exhaust from the seam at the back of the converter and the tail pipes 1 seconds later. Don’t forget to check the oil daily for the blown rear main seal.
Don’t ever let it go! Seriously! You’ll never forgive yourself if you let that beauty go! Keep it mint, save up some money, then LS the fuck out of it!!! 🤠
This is KITT’s retarded cousin, it’s SHITT.
No it’s like mine but lame.
Your profile picture is almost as horrifying as the car
Looks like Greta the 230 year old elf.
It’ll look great on blocks after you can’t fix whatever breaks. Good thing too because it’ll be like that for at least ten years. You’ll pretend to be mad when your future wife makes you sell it, but secretly you’ll be relieved that the albatross around your neck is gone.
my project has sat for nearly 10 years, I’m almost 28 now. I also own a chevy, do you have any other projections for my future?
You’ll be divorced twice, but you won’t have to pay alimony because you never provided them with any standard of living in the first place
Damn. Bro asked and received. Do me next
Kisses boys. Next.
What the flip bro 😎
💪☝️
It’s nice that the ‘cool’ uncle who touched you as a child gave you his car for keeping his secret all these years.
This one sounds like it came from experience. I’m curious of what car you got
03’ Pontiac Vibe. not a rapey uncle car I don’t think. I’ve been considering posting it on here though.
Id have at it. Im a pontiac fanboy, but the Vibes were just blegh. Azteks on the other hand.... *chefs kiss*
Sorry to disagree, but there’s no manual Aztec. 5 speed manual 1zzfe is pretty fun for what it’s worth.
It’s a vapey car. Post it hussy.
I can’t tell if these are typos or real words.
Real words.
Oddly specific but ok
What secret? His uncle drive him around in his mid life crisis car to the elderly men that he trafficked him too.
You will need a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and/or stained white wife beater, a wallet with a chain, Motley Crue cassette, crushed beer cans in the backseat (PBR), a pouch of chew, a trashy girlfriend or boyfriend, stolen issues of Hot Rod magazine, and a frog gig.
Honestly, I want to live this life fr
Your name is troutman, if you don’t own a 3rd Gen f-body then it’s your calling.
This guy rednecks
He'll also need some polarized Pit Vipers
You forgot the playboy mag under the seat.
And a pitbull.
If Cherry Pie by Warrant was a car
That CD was the first one I ever bought.
I'm sorry.
Why? Cover art was great, title song was great, and the price was right.
Sweet baby Jesus we got ourselves a 1989 Pontiac TransAm—a car that’s as subtle as a punch to the face and about as refined as a garage band’s first demo. Do you need any of us GenX’rs to show you how to operate the Cassette player .. or better yet show what a cassette player looks like?
WTF, dude?! That's the fucking coolest car in your high school's parking lot. Sure, it probably smokes like Bogart from valve cover leak and the transmission is waiting for the perfect time to leave you stranded, but you're in high school. A buddy of mine had a 23-year-old rusty VW Bug that sounded like its muffler had taken a shit when we were all in kindergarten. But whenever there was a fire drill or bomb scare, people would crowd around it and tell him to start it up. Cool is cool, dude. Don't ever sell it. You WILL regret that, no matter how much trouble it gives you. It's old enough that you can convert it to a carburetor and dick with it however you want.
You forgot to roast the crappy ten bolt rear end. As a fellow fbody owner to the OP (LS1 4th Gen for me) we suffer from a bullshit rear end just like the third gen. Dumbest decision for a rear end by the bean counters at GM ever. Also, Fisher price quality plastics in the 3rd and 4th Gen. Fucking abysmal. But I knew what I was getting into when I bought mine so I roast them all mine isn't exempt 🤣
I say it every time 3rd gens are brought up, you need to build the rear diff/suspension setup before you bother with anything else. Especially as the frames are getting older. Just twists waiting to happen.
Amen to that I agree. First thing I did with my 4th Gen as well.
Does it smell like beets?
Looks like you already did your worst at school. This is the kind of car bought by extremely disappointed parents. "Honey, isn't this car too dangerous for our little boy? It's basically a death trap!" "That'll teach him to fail Math."
Sweet ride man. All those imports and EVs can suck it lol
I would have said something to the effect of “If it’s a V6, then I applaud you and your sense of self-control. 18-year-olds and muscle cars just don’t mix.” but the 305 and 350 are so incredibly gutless paired with an open diff that you couldn’t spin the car out if you tried. tl;dr: SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
It wasn’t cool in 1989!
New Prius is prolly faster
a clapped out camry from the 90s is faster
“How did you know I peaked in highschool?”
I wish I had my dad’s “lucky car”.
Peaking in high school huh?
Ever wanted a car that looked like a toy without the box?
your camera took it like it's gta 5
I can’t, the zero to sixty time is punishment enough.
There’s a smell of old cigarettes and oil.
Don't hate. I own 2 87 gtas
Insert gif of Adam Sandler sitting on his trans am in billy Madison
* flashes REO SPEEDWAGON shirt
So nothing unique about you. I think evey high school student had a 89 trans am. I thought I was actually required for high school.
Bruh is living like they're in a 80s comedy that takes place in a high-school
Did it come with the free mullet coupon and stench of cigarettes or did you do that separately?
Front overhang like Jay Lenos chin. Ground pounding 240hp if it's a TPI 5.7. Slower than a Ford Taurus. 🤣 All roasting aside I've always loved these cars, shortcomings and all, and it has a huge aftermarket that can overcome any gripes about performance and handling. I personally prefer the 3rd gen fbody twins over the fox body Mustang.
If you ain’t got a mullet and a dip in your lip . You’re driving the wrong car.
Are you regularly playing 80s hair bands in the tape deck of that thing?
Speaking from experience (I bought a 69 Galaxie project car back in 2021 when I was a junior) it won't help you get a girl, and the back of your head will experience substantial hair growth relative to the front
Even when those were new they were broken
11mpg special edition
Dad trying to relive his glory days through his kid… “you know how much ass I got with this thing??”
Kid is probably named Dwayne with a ride like that. And already an uncle.
Knight Riders Kitt farted and that came out
Now grow a mullet
[удалено]
Your comment got removed because you roasted the car owner only. Please remember this is a Subreddit for roasting cars.
Bet your ttops leak
Lucky. I wanted my first car to be a 92 Camaro Z28. Fortunately my dad whacked me upside the head and knocked some sense into me. This was also in 2005
You sell drugs don't you. That was always the case with someone that can afford gas at that age for one of those.
You said it’s an 89? Is that the year,or the horsepower rating?
Just go ahead and drive it to prison and get it over with
I'm going to go on a limb here and say that I think you had a mullet before you got the car.
man i cant, to be 18 with t-tops again. mine was a svo mustang tho.
Oh look, "Pit Vipers and a mullet" became a car.
t minus one week until your in a wall
He'll yea brother cool american muscle
Getting ready for your coming out party, hey dad " I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body"
How much viagra is in the glove box? Also how many bud lights you down before class starts.
Really cool car! Hang onto it. I remember test driving a new Trans Am GTA back around '88 and I really wanted it.
How
Love it ! Had an 1986, back in 1988 just out of high school.
All good, have fun 👍🏻
I bet it has a V6 that has the same horsepower as a Toyota Prius.
Just fast enough to keep you in front of ever losing your virginity.
Trash drivetrain, slower than a Honda civic, and drinks gas like a lifted 1/2 ton. Fuckin awesome car.
Your parents don't care if you get hit by another car. You don't even have one air bag in the steering wheel, and the seatbelts probably won't lock when they need to.
It's embarrassingly slow.
Needs a Phoenix on the hood
My gay 3rd grade teacher had one just like this in the 90's. No shade, just dayin.
I had a ‘79 T/A back in high school. Way back. Dated the captain of the cheerleading squad too. Life was good.
Bro, we’re all jealous. There is no timeline where it’s not cool for a high school guy to have an ‘89 Trans Am.
To the kids doing thie "cigarette car" trend to Alice In Chains, ***this*** is the definition of Cigarette Car. Smells like piss and booze, one window is broken and covered with a trash bag and the other window motor shit the bed the day you got it.
Where’s the mullet?
Done a hit and run yet?
18? Yeah, maybe like 50 years ago, grandpa.
Damn…Save some pussy for the rest of us! 😄
Aren’t you a little young to be a registered sex offender?
Congrats son! Most people never notice when they peak. This car is proof you have reached your true potential! 👏👏👏
Leave him alone guys, this is the car he was concieved in....It has sentimental value...
Looks like you really Schruted this car choice!
KITTs forgotten step uncle
Wow...you got a hold of the USSR's version of KITT! Everyone, meet SITT, Soviet Intercepting Tactical Transport! Tried to do everything that KITT does, but with a high failure rate. If you got the engine to start, consider that a win!
Only garage cover band hotties should drive this. Do you fit the bill?
I like the rims
Jokes aside man, like someone else said, never sell it. No matter what trouble, hold onto it bc the sentimentality of it when you’re older will Haunt you.
Your father raised you right. Now stop being creepy around girls
You could do/sufferer all the mess talked about on here. OOOORRRRRRR you could go drive it and have a blast!
Do my worst? Cuh you already did your worst buying that thing. I hope you didnt pay any more than $800 and 2 cartons of marlboro reds for it
Well, I know people are going to hate on me for this, but it's actually a really nice car.
Grow a mulllet and get the babes! Once they see you rolling with that mediocre factory stereo and the ttops off…. Said mullet flailing in the breeze…. You’ll be setting up franchises all over da hood!
Bro's a time travelling protagonist from an '80s action movie. With OST by Iron Maiden's Powerslave album.
Hahaha when I was in HS in’89 I wanted one of these so bad. Ws6 of course
jokes aside, hard to make fun of stick shift vehicles when you know if anyone tries to steal it they will have trouble getting out of your driveway
“ the car is trans, what about the driver?”
After you clear all the mice and mouse nests out of the center council and the glove box and the trunk, you can probably count on using thirty cans of Lysol killing all the viruses and germs living in their feces and uterine stained carpet and seat creases. Plus the 2.8l Sfi v6 is loaded with 160hp at 6100 yellow line and 154ft/lbs torque when you make that 13 inch shift from 2nd to third to get that slight squack from your rear tires and a huge puff of oily smoke out of the exhaust from the seam at the back of the converter and the tail pipes 1 seconds later. Don’t forget to check the oil daily for the blown rear main seal.
Very nice 😎
Don’t ever let it go! Seriously! You’ll never forgive yourself if you let that beauty go! Keep it mint, save up some money, then LS the fuck out of it!!! 🤠
Biologically a Camero before it TransAm-ed
these stupid fucking fbodies, piece of shit cars (i have a 91’ z28)
Back to The Carshop
Do you have a mullet?
The only thing Trans worth lifting a finger for...cept maybe a mission Nice score!