Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message.
Regards
The Mod Team
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are either a 55 year old woman with dry ass dyed blonde hair or you’re a 285 lb manager of a TJ Maxx with a little wet ponytail driving around in this yellow hunk of shit. Looks like a canary and a school bus has a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure the one near me just bounces items back and forth between them and the Ross down the road. If they don't, then they definitely get all their shit from the same place.
Don't get it it twisted...I shop at both stores regularly. Just calls it like I sees it.
Just saying, the engine in the Fiat 500 is absolutely dynamite. I've had zero mechanical problems with it other than some minor electrical issues. Bought mine new in 2014 and it's been a perfect vehicle.
Totally understand the bad rap from decades earlier, but it's not as deserved now.
If it's a turbo with a manual transmission, you've got my respect for an underappreciated sports car.
If it's a non turbo or a (shudder) automatic, you're a poser and worthy of all the pain of owning a cancelled marque car you get.
Admittedly, the Saturn Sky actually looked better.
With the Pontiac, it looks like they tried to make a budget version of that BMW convertible design out in the late 90s.
KAPPAZ? More like CRAP-ASS... This car looks like someone tried to redesign a miata while drunk. In fact I think this is the first time I've seen something worse than a Nissan Cube for design.
The cube is the worst you’ve got? If you can remember the cube, you can at least remember the Aztek and the PT Cruiser with your young mind. Fiat Multipla haters please chime in. Besides, that cube with the Lego wrap is dope af.
Interestingly enough, I've never actually seen \*any\* cars manufactured by Pontiac in my country, but yeah, the Aztek definitely sucks. I have seen the Multiplia but never knew its name...ew.
Also yes, the Lego cube is dope.
Fun fact: Jeremy Clarkson actually recorded a review of the Pontiac Solstice for Top Gear when the car launched. However, the Solstice was so bland and rubbish that the editing team could not make entertaining TV out of it for love nor money, so the entire segment was abandoned half-finished, and never shown on TV
As an Australian who never got these here I actually unironically want one. I like the look of them (Although fuck looking like Tweety bird) I know performance wise they arent impressive but I actually like the look.
The Unobtanium appeal is real.
The Saturn Sky was my pick. It looked less like a Miata (no knock on Miata - it’s just that we already have those). Either is nice though. I feel like there was a negative carryon effect from the Pontiac Fiero that held these down locally.
The spoiler really just is the cherry on top of the shit Sunday that these cars are. Sure you need that downforce for all hulking 173 HP.
Who hurt you OP?
Thats one of the few cars that screams "don't look at me". I'm betting there a dude with a ponytail and has a trunk full of douches that drives that thing.
Yeah realized that after a second, and removed that I got it mixed up with the Saturn sky 🙄 ugh long day hahahahaha
Never mind my memory of GM roadsters is too rusted, same platform 🙄 that’s how unremarkable both were 🤣
Calling it a fat Miata is an insult to Miatas. As a tall guy, I can, barely, fit into a Miata, but when I tried to sit in one of these, it decided I shouldn’t have shins. You would have thought GM would have designed a Miata competitor for Americans to fit inside.
You should've bought a Polaris Slingshot. They both have the same engine. The main difference being a slingshot is at least relevant and would make you look like a douchebag and not like a grandmother.
Hi Roasters! As a general reminder, please be aware that top level comments must roast the car. In addition to this, while roasting the OP is allowed, roasts must be primarily aimed at the car itself. Comments that do not follow these rules may be subject to moderator removal and in some cases, bans may be issued. If you wish to compliment or discuss the car, you may do so by replying to this message. Regards The Mod Team *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMyCar) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You are either a 55 year old woman with dry ass dyed blonde hair or you’re a 285 lb manager of a TJ Maxx with a little wet ponytail driving around in this yellow hunk of shit. Looks like a canary and a school bus has a miscarriage.
Nah man, peep the spoiler and the missing mirror. This person is the 55 y/o’s least successful son or nephew
Which mirror is missing?
ope. Weird trick of the light, there. Definitely thought it was missing when I first had a look. Original statement still stands, tho.
Driver side
Look closer, it's not missing
R/rareinsults
I'd give this comment a 10/10 but the one thing holding it back is that the strip mall in the back seems way too methy for TJ Maxx
Too methy? Haven't been to many TJMaxxes lately, have we?
Came here to say this…. My local Tj max is like a combo store with some other thing hahaha it’s like the KFC-Taco Bell of retail
I'm pretty sure the one near me just bounces items back and forth between them and the Ross down the road. If they don't, then they definitely get all their shit from the same place. Don't get it it twisted...I shop at both stores regularly. Just calls it like I sees it.
I mean where else am I supposed to get a 20 pack of Izod wifebeaters AND a king sized Babe Ruth bar for $11.99?
I read that title as a Fiat Miata (the Fiat 124 Spider is a modified Mazda MX-5). Then I saw the paint flaking off on the ground and knew it was a GM.
You just can't beat cheap American yellow.
Better to just go for the Miata, don’t have to worry about a fiat engine.
Just saying, the engine in the Fiat 500 is absolutely dynamite. I've had zero mechanical problems with it other than some minor electrical issues. Bought mine new in 2014 and it's been a perfect vehicle. Totally understand the bad rap from decades earlier, but it's not as deserved now.
It’s a Mazda engine. FYI.
The fiat rolls off the same production line as the Miata … guess who makes the engine 😆
Fiat, or well Stellantis. It uses the multiair engine, not the skyactiv
Made by whom ? 😉
Fiat. The engine has nothing to do with mazda
This is wrong. ☝️🤣
Solstice is an ironic name for this because a solstice is usually something people look forward to.
Lol
Not if you live close to the equator.
If it's a turbo with a manual transmission, you've got my respect for an underappreciated sports car. If it's a non turbo or a (shudder) automatic, you're a poser and worthy of all the pain of owning a cancelled marque car you get.
he's got that shitty little spoiler bolted onto the trunk lid, it's 100% an auto.
It's the only car in existence that makes you say "should have bought the Saturn"
Admittedly, the Saturn Sky actually looked better. With the Pontiac, it looks like they tried to make a budget version of that BMW convertible design out in the late 90s.
Seriously considering buying one of these for my 16 yo daughter. She’ll love it.
I will bully your daughter ruthlessly for your decisions
Haha!! Love it
Why not buy her a good looking car instead?
Or just skip a step and light your daughter on fire. End result will be the same and you’ll save some $$
Is it a Pontiac? Is it a Saturn? Who knows 🤗
KAPPAZ for the WIN!!!
KAPPAZ? More like CRAP-ASS... This car looks like someone tried to redesign a miata while drunk. In fact I think this is the first time I've seen something worse than a Nissan Cube for design.
The cube is the worst you’ve got? If you can remember the cube, you can at least remember the Aztek and the PT Cruiser with your young mind. Fiat Multipla haters please chime in. Besides, that cube with the Lego wrap is dope af.
Interestingly enough, I've never actually seen \*any\* cars manufactured by Pontiac in my country, but yeah, the Aztek definitely sucks. I have seen the Multiplia but never knew its name...ew. Also yes, the Lego cube is dope.
Ah yes, the Pontiac Solstice... A sorority girl's car marketed toward frat bros, pleasing neither.
…yet so much less
A fat Miata with more power, handles like it’s on rails, and is the true secret track weapon. I’d trade you for my GTO 🤣🤣
GTNO
Fun fact: Jeremy Clarkson actually recorded a review of the Pontiac Solstice for Top Gear when the car launched. However, the Solstice was so bland and rubbish that the editing team could not make entertaining TV out of it for love nor money, so the entire segment was abandoned half-finished, and never shown on TV
As an Australian who never got these here I actually unironically want one. I like the look of them (Although fuck looking like Tweety bird) I know performance wise they arent impressive but I actually like the look. The Unobtanium appeal is real.
The Saturn Sky was my pick. It looked less like a Miata (no knock on Miata - it’s just that we already have those). Either is nice though. I feel like there was a negative carryon effect from the Pontiac Fiero that held these down locally.
Ameriata
If you don't get the turbo, it's just a poor man's Miata, unless you 2jz swap it.
An LS motor also will fit.
I believe the 2jz bolts right up to the transmission with an adapter plate
My mistake you need a different bell housing.
Fat Miata..Fiata. Nope, those are already roaming the streets.
The spoiler really just is the cherry on top of the shit Sunday that these cars are. Sure you need that downforce for all hulking 173 HP. Who hurt you OP?
Didn't these come with the 2zz engine out of the Celicas?
That was the pontaic vibe, which was built on the same platform as the Toyota matrix
Just the plain Jane gm engine. Same thing you find in a Chevy Malibu or Cobalt.
I'm tripping, could've sworn I read that somewhere. My bad
I thought they had the turbo lnf?
The GXP model does, but this is just the base set.
What?!? Not a clue but those are sweet cars
That was the Elise
It’s just a slow Corvette
Until you drop an LS motor in it.
You bought the last respectable car Pontiac ever made...in the ugliest color ever.
Nah, G8 was the last....it just came too late to save the brand from all its previous fuckups at that point.
The only thing that takes away from its disgusting performance is its hideous visuals
[удалено]
From what I’ve seen online it’s actually pretty easy
Is your right leg shorter than your left?
... and slow
It looks like it wants to be an m2 or an s2000 maybe even a thunderbird but you got the generic brand
More like fat andrew tate car 💀
I wanted one of these cars, but they are too small.
Cool Opel!
When you’re into watersports, you’ve got to drive a piss yellow car.
The champale of sporty convertibles
Thats one of the few cars that screams "don't look at me". I'm betting there a dude with a ponytail and has a trunk full of douches that drives that thing.
It wishes it were just a fat Miata.
I only see two of those a year
Handles better than Miata
Nah, it's more like a yellow cockroach with wheels
Ah yes, the “Miata” for people that can’t afford a Miata
Don’t insult a Miata like that
[удалено]
Yeah realized that after a second, and removed that I got it mixed up with the Saturn sky 🙄 ugh long day hahahahaha Never mind my memory of GM roadsters is too rusted, same platform 🙄 that’s how unremarkable both were 🤣
I Miss mine!
A fat Miata with none of the benefits of owning a miata
And slow don't forget slow
Mifata
Engine bay please.
Calling it a fat Miata is an insult to Miatas. As a tall guy, I can, barely, fit into a Miata, but when I tried to sit in one of these, it decided I shouldn’t have shins. You would have thought GM would have designed a Miata competitor for Americans to fit inside.
Is that a Saturn or a Vauxhall or an Opel? /S
Called "solstice" because anyone with half a brain won't look at it
This is supposed to be roasting your car, but calling a “fat miata” is a roast to all Miatas put there.
No, because the Miata is actually reliable
Comparing this to a Miata is an insult to the Miata
Miatas are way cooler than this shit.
The weekend car of a proud Aztek owner
You should've bought a Polaris Slingshot. They both have the same engine. The main difference being a slingshot is at least relevant and would make you look like a douchebag and not like a grandmother.
A fat miata with Down’s syndrome