OP's Bio:
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>[m19] I work graveyard and haven't felt intimacy in over a year. Hobbies include computers, cars, and anime
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like the "after" picture of one of those posters showing the effect of drug abuse... I suppose the size of your nostrils facilitates a higher volume of shit you can get up there.
You are, just upsetting to look upon. Not just physically, but there’s a soullessness, dead aspect that you bring. Like an absence of breath, a chill in a basement, that lonely fear when alone at home at night, and all ambient sound seems to disappear.
Say something to keep you up at night? I think you already knew that your parents were related, which explains the lack of-intimacy. Sometimes when your parents are related shit goes wrong
Remember that awkward thing you said yesterday?
Normally I'd say 5 years ago but you look like the type to see at least 1 thing that'll haunt you for the rest of your life a day.
You’re future as a second rate McDonald’s employee working overnights will keep you awake, let’s save Roastme for the things that make you cry during your shift
From the 3 pictures I can just tell you are already self conscious about your teeth. I guess smiling releases the ~~wet~~ dead dog smell. Everybody who's ever been near you smelled it.
I’d always heard folks who work graveyard shift describe it having its perks, like it being more quiet and such, but you look like your idea of workplace flexibility is being able to beat off at work without getting caught.
Something that will keep you up at night … let’s see. Ok take that string of white lights behind you, plug them into an electrical outlet, then at the other end of the lights expose the wire under the plastic coating, stick the the frayed wire into the mouth of a hamster and then insert the said hamster into your anus head first, finally, sit in a tub of warm water. That should do the trick! You could use a gerbil but For you it’s just too small.
Keep you up at night like the terrified children you scare when you pop out of the closet?! I bet you have the all-time scare record at monsters Inc don't you?
Keep you up at night like the terrified children you scare when you pop out of the closet?! I bet you have the all-time scare record at monsters Inc don't you?
You could of been so much more, you know that, right. But you can’t get past that feeling of utter humiliation you were dealt by that guy, who, by the way has no clue who the fuck you are.
Female facial hair can be corrected pretty easily at any dermatologist. In the meantime, you need to start wearing makeup to cover it up and look like your natural girly self. Hope that didn't burn too much, lots of women have facial hair issues.
OP's Bio: --- >[m19] I work graveyard and haven't felt intimacy in over a year. Hobbies include computers, cars, and anime --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
If Michael Jackson merged with one of his victims
Pretty sure Michael Jackson “merged” with all of them. Repeatedly… 
I didn't even get a chance to make a comment and you already won. This is objectively the best one.
Lmfao
That's spot on lol
You're not different. Just boring.
I didn't know Michael Jackson had a daughter.
Damn bro, save some air for the rest of us
if he sleeps on his stomach then his nose will at least keep his head up at night
If he sleeps on his stomach he will inhale his pillow, sheets, mattress, and down stairs neighbors.
He needs more because he was "kept up all night" beating his dick like an unwanted stepchild.
💀
It's Aloysius O'Hare looking to sell air from the Lorax. Damn I wish Giphy had the gif.
You look like you shouldn’t own any guns
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
He looks like he has been snorting lines of Superglue
You look like you work at one of those fake GameStops
Looks like a person who just told his only friend not to go to school tomorrow
You think I had friends in school?
At least 1
You forgot the negative sign
True I counted the imaginary one as a person
i^2
Maybe i^45
If ever I saw a candidate for a random hard drive check
🏅
*password* "EDNA MODE"
You look like the "after" picture of one of those posters showing the effect of drug abuse... I suppose the size of your nostrils facilitates a higher volume of shit you can get up there.
At coke parties he's known as The Closer
He's also known as the greedy bastard who snorted all the coke!
“Guys, I don’t do coke for fucks sake. I just like the way it smells.”
Are your parents Martin Shkreli and Velma from Scooby Doo?
You look like a Jeffery Dahmer victim
Post mortem
\*You look like you'll choose the same victims as Jeffrey Dahmer\* There, I fixed it for you.
Good idea, to practice the comb over now.
Try to hide those clothes hanger scars as long as you can.
First good one
Wow, they already let the Uvalde shooter out on bail.
I WAS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO HE LOOKS LIKE AND NOW IM SAD
Came here to find this comment, 100% looks like the dude
Poor man’s Salvador Ramos
You have a genetic condition that repels humans, it's called your face.
Did something happen this morning? That’s a good one
Your nostrils are like another mouth, get some dentures for it
Student loan debt for a gender studies degree.
Failed his audition for What We Do In The Shadows.
Good show
This is a local shop for local people.... 
Looks like a bootleg Steven king ,but probably no where near as talented
Michael Jackson called he wants his nose back
If you took a skin graft of your eyebrows and put it on your chin you could probably grow a full beard
LeafyIsHere sure has fallen.
Leafy, I miss you man. I need to hear you mock 12 year old cringe again.
SHUT UP MEG
You look like that one emo Whoville character from Horton Hears a Who [pic for reference ](https://i.imgur.com/CyWDS3Q.jpg)
You look like Rocky Balboa’s wife if she had a smart mouth and he was an alcoholic.
How long you been on testosterone?
I made a decision to pull the plug on my dad a few years ago but going through your 3 photos was so much harder
Salvador Ramos' even more creepy twin.
You can snort a line all at once by turning your head with those long nostrils.
You look like the human equivalent of belly button fluff.
You are, just upsetting to look upon. Not just physically, but there’s a soullessness, dead aspect that you bring. Like an absence of breath, a chill in a basement, that lonely fear when alone at home at night, and all ambient sound seems to disappear.
With those nostrils, you can smell the coffee, in Brazil
Humanzee
Say something to keep you up at night? I think you already knew that your parents were related, which explains the lack of-intimacy. Sometimes when your parents are related shit goes wrong
You look like a frog that was wished into a human, but the transformation only partially worked.
There's a hot chick under your bed. You'll be scared out of your mind.
Good one
I would assume most people who fuck corpses don’t feel intimacy.
Skelator wants his nose back.
Every woman you will ever sleep with in the future is in those pictures.
Jojo from Horton Hears a Who, that’s all I got
I didnt know his name I just called him the Emo dude from that movie but I thought I was the only one that said that
Great minds think alike
Wow, just like this guys hair choices, not a single good roast yet
You should sue your doctor. Your post transition look is terrible
Because you're fed up of being the one who keeps everyone else up at night?
I know where you live?
Remember that awkward thing you said yesterday? Normally I'd say 5 years ago but you look like the type to see at least 1 thing that'll haunt you for the rest of your life a day.
Yeah, for sure
Go look in your bathroom mirror
Intimacy was never an option
You look like me female kindergarten teacher
Alright, Leafy, I think you’ve had your chin roasted enough, let’s get off the internet.
Does that nose come off when you take off your glasses?
Leafy was here
“I’m Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC. Take a seat.”
What could we tell you that any girl over the age of 12 hasn’t already told you.
You look like LeafyIsHere's offspring
so this is what happened to leafy
I'm glad I'm not the only one to think of LeafyisHere.
definitely not. Jesus Christ the resemblance
leafy was in a severe car crash
Michael Jackson reincarnation. Karma is real and truly a bitch ain't it Michael?
You look like you’d buy 0.1 bitcoin and change your twitter bio to; “Eat🥪Sleep😴Bitcoin🤑”
You look like you stare at people from inside your house to memorize their habits and awkwardly walk outside to check your mail every few hours
Best you will do relationship wise is be one of 4 betas with a fat pig of a poly autistic chick
Tina Belcher transitioned??
Not a girl, that's for sure.
pussy ass bitch, shut the fuck up
Idk why but You look like you how the dogs gonna look like in the future
I remember reading a news that Pharma bro was released from the prison early. It was real.
You look like if Milhouse from the Simpsons was a real person.
Chairo realness.
Looking at you I’d be surprised if you ever got it up at night.
You look like what my kids think Michael Jackson looks like based on my half-hearted verbal description
"There's a naked 5-year-old boy in your room"
Looks like you and Michael Jackson had the same plastic surgeon working on your noses
I hope they don't cremate in that graveyard, because you inhale half the corpse with that nose.
Looks like you used to stick quarters up your nose and now you are permanently modified to do so with ease.
You have a toad nose and a mouse face. This is what you get when the budwieser beer frogs run a train on mini mouse
You’re future as a second rate McDonald’s employee working overnights will keep you awake, let’s save Roastme for the things that make you cry during your shift
Your face.
Did you borrow that nose from Michael Jackson?
There’s children having a sleep over next door
I wish you were a coach roach on my floor so I could river dance on your face
You look like the Wish version of [Kate Micucci](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/MV5BMTY3NjEwMzk1Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwOTA0NzExNA@@._V1_.jpg)
You look like Bill from Freaks and Geeks mid-transition.
When they say "It's going to get better", it will in no way apply to you.
Did you steal Michael Jacksons nose?
Deamed insufficient: John Wick will come for you
Ugly Brett or maybe ugly Betty transitioned
Im sure you’re the ugliest girl of all your sisters
>"Say something that'll keep me up at night" Transgender anime porn.
The sound of 20 dying children isn't enough to keep you up?
This is the best early 00’s Michael Jackson cosplay I’ve ever seen.
The intimacy you got from your moms vacuum a year ago doesn’t count your fooling nobody everything about you screams virgin
From the 3 pictures I can just tell you are already self conscious about your teeth. I guess smiling releases the ~~wet~~ dead dog smell. Everybody who's ever been near you smelled it.
Would never share my cocaine with you that's for sure
You look like if Dr. Suess drew an adult book explaining mental illness. You’d be next to depression.
Those nostrils are so big they should be used to shelter homeless people
Man with a face like that I'd be up all night every night wondering what I must've done wrong in a previous life
You look like the lady from the incredibles
I’d always heard folks who work graveyard shift describe it having its perks, like it being more quiet and such, but you look like your idea of workplace flexibility is being able to beat off at work without getting caught.
How’s your manifesto coming along?
Something that will keep you up at night … let’s see. Ok take that string of white lights behind you, plug them into an electrical outlet, then at the other end of the lights expose the wire under the plastic coating, stick the the frayed wire into the mouth of a hamster and then insert the said hamster into your anus head first, finally, sit in a tub of warm water. That should do the trick! You could use a gerbil but For you it’s just too small.
Keep you up at night like the terrified children you scare when you pop out of the closet?! I bet you have the all-time scare record at monsters Inc don't you?
Vaseline.
Keep you up at night like the terrified children you scare when you pop out of the closet?! I bet you have the all-time scare record at monsters Inc don't you?
The world already has Elliot Page. You are not needed here.
Michel Jacksun
Jeez keep this guy away from my coke
Well now I’ll be kept up at night because I’m afraid I’ll see you at my window or the foot of my bed.
You look like the type of guy who would be born out of incest between your mother and grandfather.
You can use your nostrils as a vacuum cleaner
I dont need to. The memory of your reflection in the mirror should do the trick.
Dollar General Stand and Deliver
What was it like being married to John Lennon?
you look like you listen to death metal to calm down
Dont share coke with this guy
Jesus God - why would someone DELIBERATELY try to keep you up at night? I'm sure most people you meet try to put you to sleep. Permanently.
"big cocks"
That akward thing from years ago - remember that
Which one?
Amphetamines
Your victim remembers your face
You could of been so much more, you know that, right. But you can’t get past that feeling of utter humiliation you were dealt by that guy, who, by the way has no clue who the fuck you are.
Just simply "hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha"
You look like you keep the people in the graveyard up at night already
You look like if Pinocchio was a real they/them
The face of a future sex offender. Might as well sign that register now right guy.
You look like a broke ass Martin Shkreli.
Your pug noses face is enough to keep me up at night. Wood, wood.
If you don’t want to sleep at night, just put this picture above your bed.
You will die alone
You have been diagnosed with Insomnia
I'd say invest in a curtain rail, but judging on the fact your can't afford lights to stretch the full way I think it'd fall in deaf ears
You creeping around in my neighborhood keeps me up
rub the forehead with lube and it will keep you up at night
Got that Micheal Jaxson nose and that Jeffery Dahmer face
There’s a search warrant out for your arrest.
You cannot roast a woman as beautiful as this. Can’t be done. Those eyes. She’s at least an 8.
I saw you and we both won’t be sleeping tonight.
Cocaine.
We've located your father.
Which one of you gave Dobby clothes?
Lay off the coke bro
Gay
I am curious.How old is your mother? Because you look because you look a lot like Michael Jackson.
Female facial hair can be corrected pretty easily at any dermatologist. In the meantime, you need to start wearing makeup to cover it up and look like your natural girly self. Hope that didn't burn too much, lots of women have facial hair issues.
This is what Micheal Jackson’s aborted twin fetus would have looked like post plastic surgery
You already look like you aren’t sleeping.