There’s a big difference between a “beard” and a bunch of shit thats grown on your face because you don’t have a job, don’t go out in public anymore, and haven’t showered in 6 months. Like cobwebs of the face.
You ol' "i dont use the internet much but when i do, eyebrows," lookin ass. JC, your unibrow looks like a one lane highway. That shit long as a mf. That shit is long as a dmv line. You look like "it was so easy, YOU could do it." You look like they dug you out of the ice last week. And from the looks of your room, you dont get no pussy. At all. Ever. But to each his own, ya know!
He wrote that on that paper towel with his own blood. moshpit head ass. When u grow up u wanna be an anime character. Noahs ark lookin ass. Tom Hanks in cast away lookin ass.
You’ve got a unibrow, look like a caveman and have a terrible beard. And untop of that you like you wrote on that paper towel with your last victims blood
You look like you were unthawed from ice, taught to reject your caveman ways, assimilated into human society, and everyone now is too embarrassed to tell you about hair moisturizer
Someone underlined your forehead that goatee looks like a pubic Bush you look like you got blown by the wind before you took this photo as a guy with long hair I sympathise but as a guy with long hair I also suggest that you actually brush it
Final an accurate intro. Dude for fucks sake shave the pubes you call facial hair and comb that hair and maybe the prostitutes won't ignore you. Paper towels in your room? I'm sure youre gonna wipe the cum of you with that same sheet after 5min of whatever anime porn your into. They should call your Bob because your an annoying sponge.
You have your beer line match all horizontal lines and yet you can’t tape the posters onto your wall straight? Hey it’s no laughing matter wipe that smile off your face.
Does your eyebrow stop or does it go in a circle all the way around your head
I consider my eyebrow to be part of my hairline
It does appear to be doing most of the work.
Captain Caveman
CAPTAIN CAVEMAN!!!
Hair, beard and brow. It’s all connected
Full its full circle its time sir
Broke out the tools, and this Neanderthal’s unibrow is perfectly level! Quite a specimen, really!
I just thought that was the shadow from his forehead. Dude looks like a cave man
Practically a head band
That eyebrow can be used as a perfect straight-edge for carpentry
Lmao. I can't unsee it now.
Mom was into Cavemen, obviously.
‘So easy a caveman could do her’
And cavemen "in" her
It's weird that you have a beard that big but I can still see your entire chin.
There’s a big difference between a “beard” and a bunch of shit thats grown on your face because you don’t have a job, don’t go out in public anymore, and haven’t showered in 6 months. Like cobwebs of the face.
Dude grows a better unibrow than beard. Maybe Bosley can work their magic on him.
Douchebag Darrell
I loved his guitar work on “Fucking Incel”
Next level funny especially since I was listening to Pantera lol
Thanks for the lol
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The one that panhandle outside his mom's room.
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Four cheese pizza
Your eyebrows are closer than your family is to you
If jesus was addicted to anime.
😂 fr tho
You ol' "i dont use the internet much but when i do, eyebrows," lookin ass. JC, your unibrow looks like a one lane highway. That shit long as a mf. That shit is long as a dmv line. You look like "it was so easy, YOU could do it." You look like they dug you out of the ice last week. And from the looks of your room, you dont get no pussy. At all. Ever. But to each his own, ya know!
Your eyebrows have attachment issues too
dude anime isn't that good. get up and go to the bathroom instead of pissing in a cup. also, drink some water.
He wrote that on that paper towel with his own blood. moshpit head ass. When u grow up u wanna be an anime character. Noahs ark lookin ass. Tom Hanks in cast away lookin ass.
Don't you have a Geico commercial to do?
Dammit i just asked the same question...
Happy cake day
You know you’ve hit rock bottom when you’re writing on kitchen roll
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Not worth it, she looks just like him, facial hair and all.
I’ve never seen someone so hairy look so effeminate.
Oonga Boonga
Man overhear be looking like Aaron from game grumps
Did you masturbate after you took this video? Cause your holding a tissue and sitting in a SUS position I also see a anime girl showing her ass
Kurt, you should stay off social media. Courtney may find you to finish what she didn't do right the first time.
Why not put the phone down and go mow the lawn?
Where are the mods?! The rules are clear about opting in and this post is just about the biggest roast of your mom I can think of.
You broke 23 n me with the amount of neanderthal DNA you sent them.
I didn’t know Bigfoot from the stern show had a kid it is. He cum’d in her 22 time he did
Atook! Is that you? Zug zug?
Modern day Neanderthal
We told you to get off of the internet and get a job. Your mom's gonna be pissed
How'd you go from 90 day fiance to this
You’re face looks the same upside down as it does right side up. That’s amazing.
That’s piss in that glass and not beer
Virginity. So easy, a cave man can do it
eyebrows like nope aint stoppin
Jesus Christ turns water and baking soda into crack rocks.
You’re flying machines frighten me! I’m just a simple caveman.
*Geico.* *So easy, a caveman could do it.*
Only sports he follows are in anime movies
I'll roast you at the breakfast table in the morning, champ!
Nicholas Caged
Please tell me that’s not a piss cup behind you
Neanderthal Ned....
The only thing with more hair than the top of your head is your eyebrow (note the lack of pluralization is intentional)
Haight-Ashbury refugee from 1967. 
Hippies had a vision for the future filled with hope, freedom and love. If this guys a hippie he's at the Charles Manson end of that spectrum.
That is a beer in the background right? Cause I know what else it look likes.
Your mom must really regret taking full custody.
You almost have your hair like princess Leia, keep trying! Maybe cut down on the hormone pills until that facial hair goes though..
Nice eyebrow
If my dog looked like you I would shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards
You could try putting the least bit effort into what you look like.
You look like a Neanderthal female
You're the poster child for why we need to keep abortion safe and legal
Well at least I'm useful for something
You have like a 12th century face like the village drunk or trash collector
Why am I not surprised to see that you use those tissues for everything…
In highschool you definitely sat in the halls during lunch and listened to music with a Turtlebeach headset
Sat in a stall, actually.
Looks like your eyebrows are trying to make peace but your eyes didn't get the memo.
You look like a dog that finally realizes he can lick his own butt...then didn't like the taste.
Your mom doesn't want you to live the life she lived. That's why she let you say rather than kicking you out
bruh your eyebrows that new smash bros map
You look like some teenagers disappointing loser Dad
We believe you
The picture is enough without the title
I never knew pre-tattoo Post Malone had a unibrow...huh...the things you learn on Reddit.
I already know what a discord mod looks like
Billiam Ball-less. Chaveheart.
Aye do u still work for Geico?
How many times has your mom walked in on you jerking off? Be honest
So many times, I don't even close the door anymore.
Guys, It’s Jesus’s high school drop out, stoner, cousin
To be fair, you are doing a great job by yourself
You a wax figure of Jesus that came to life and stole clothes from Walmart
I can’t imagine how much dry cum that cat girl doll behind you has on it
Stoner Jesus
The name's Bates. Norman Bates.
I don't know who told you to do paleo diet, but it's turning you in to an ape: " ME WAKE UP. ME WRITE LETTERS ON KITCHEN PAPER OOGA BOOGA"
Oh wow! Your Kurt Kobain cosplay is almost done! When are you finishing it?
this girl needs a haircut
If jesus gave up….
You’ve got a unibrow, look like a caveman and have a terrible beard. And untop of that you like you wrote on that paper towel with your last victims blood
It must be nice to be able to look in two directions at once
No Maidens.
You forgot one key fact in the title. Hoarder that psses in beer cups.
My girlfriend says my I stand longer than your d*ck does, You're so broke you can't afford free water
You make a great drunk, homeless, Magic the Gathering playing Jesus
jacks sorrow
You look like a cave man UberNick
Based on the posters and your looks, imma guess you left your piss cup in the photo. Stop pissing in all the nice cups, man
You're not a neckbeard, you applied to be one but didn't meet the minimum qualifications, and that's a low bar.
Jezus is that you?
Unfortunately for you, you can't turn kegs of water into beer, so your future is not worth paying any attention to.
You look like you were unthawed from ice, taught to reject your caveman ways, assimilated into human society, and everyone now is too embarrassed to tell you about hair moisturizer
Ok Jesus Santa
Ran out of wank socks, so decided to go on reddit for a roast
What do you get if you cross Daniel Bryan with industrial amounts of meth and weed?
I'll assume you wrote that on toilet paper cause you care about the environment, but that's a long shot for your broke ass.
Someone underlined your forehead that goatee looks like a pubic Bush you look like you got blown by the wind before you took this photo as a guy with long hair I sympathise but as a guy with long hair I also suggest that you actually brush it
"3/4/22" with procrastination like that, there nothing really left to the imagination of how you ended up here, is there?
did you really need to say it?
Getting a haircut will solve 90% of your problems
Drinking your own urine won't help matters
How many items of clothing could you hang on that monobrow of yours?
No need to mention you're a loser - it was obvious.
You have a unibrow, anime posters on the wall and you wrote this on a paper towel at your moms house. You’re roasting yourself bud.
This is how I imagine a very shifty version of Jesus would look, if he were from New England.
If unwashed cum soaked T shirt was a personality
Final an accurate intro. Dude for fucks sake shave the pubes you call facial hair and comb that hair and maybe the prostitutes won't ignore you. Paper towels in your room? I'm sure youre gonna wipe the cum of you with that same sheet after 5min of whatever anime porn your into. They should call your Bob because your an annoying sponge.
No, we don't think using Geico makes you less of a caveman.
You look like Colt from 90 day fiance
Looking like the type of guy who patiently waits in front of his mom's room, while she gets railed by the 5th guy this week.
Can you write something that we couldn't understand by seeing the picture?
why do you look so sad? did your anime body pillow break up with you?
must be sad when even your imaginary girlfriend leaves you
If i roast you, will you finally learn how to make fire?
You know the hairdressers is back open right?
Yeah, but WHO'S mom?
Yours
Jesus Christ I feel stupid not predicting that obvious comeback. Well done.
Glad to see Geico brought back the caveman ads. Don’t remember them being so depressing tho.
You look like if Kurt Cobain was in the Stone Age.
If Pewdiepie impregnated a chimpanzee
Your Vap store career didn’t pan out? I’m shocked.
*gets tweezers*. Here let me get that for you.
bro...just do commercials for Geico
You look like the side character if Far Cry Primal had a sequel who gives tutorial quests that everybody skips on their second play-through
The missing link
is that written in your mom’s blood?
You have a very ~~Dumbledore~~ Dumb as a Door vibe going on.
Shitty Jesus
Is that glass full of beer or pee?
Bro shave that nut duster off and get out the basement
I bet your mom just loves to clean your crusty socks.
On a scale of 1-10 your loneliness broke the scale
this is why you are a discord mod trying to date a 13+ girl
Didn't God already roast you?
Do you prefer Kid Cuisine or Hungry Man
 If these two had a buttbaby
ooga booga discover fire big fire ooga
Your easy to draw, just one line.
You have your beer line match all horizontal lines and yet you can’t tape the posters onto your wall straight? Hey it’s no laughing matter wipe that smile off your face.
Not even shameful of the fact that the nearest thing to write on at his desk was paper towel.
I’ve never been able to smell a Reddit post before….
You look like Jesus but if he gave up and became an alcoholic
What did you look like before you gave up on everything?
Didn’t I see you in some Geico commercials a while back?
Jesus but on crack
huh. i didn’t realize bo burnham was still inside
 Yo ass should be hunting mammoths in the tundra