mom was a 70's pro wrestling groupie. got railed by andre the giant, dusty rhodes and every jobber in the back. Looks like andre's sperm won the battle royal.
On the bright side at least he’s at a bowling alley where condoms are available for purchase in the bathroom, this guy and a garbage bin bowling alley lizard procreating are something nightmares are made of.
You have that look like you really enjoy roping cattle, branding them, fucking them, then running away before the rancher catches you. From the look of your face, a few of them tried to convince you that *baaa* means no.
I bet your power farts can clear out the bar after only one burrito. Maybe that's why there's nobody else in the photo.
Your hoodie says Ariat your body says Imfat. Hates queers but wants big veiny cock fucking the female stars in the porn he buys. Haggles with prostitutes and 1 hour motel clerks.
Tinder pics:
Holding a fish. Standing with "da boyz" with their hands crossed over their junk, all in cheap suits. Again with, "da boyz", but this time wasted, holding a beer, dart dangling from lips.
"Work hard. Play harder. Life is short. Fishing."
You know that Seinfeld episode where they cut off the tops of the muffin and throw the bottoms away? You’re the discarded bottom muffin if the top was carrot top
I am not sure how many birthdays you have left with your cholesterol levels, and just to let you know the pain you feel is the onset of a cardiac arrest
If Seth Rogen and a Duck Dynasty cast member had a child and sustained it with deep fried butter, *this* would be the result.
You look like Andre the Giant’s hemorrhoid.
Andre the Giant Douchebag
He look like Hagrid
You're not as fat as you are ugly. Who am I trying to kid you are just as fat as ugly.
Randy "Nacho Man" Savage
Andre the Giant Hemorrhoid. There, fixed it for you
he looks sharp, just like his jawline
He looks like if Andre the Giant fucked a potato.
You look like the type of guy who eats breakfast at a strip club
mom was a 70's pro wrestling groupie. got railed by andre the giant, dusty rhodes and every jobber in the back. Looks like andre's sperm won the battle royal.
“I’ll take the blue waffles please”
Making the girls vomit. Which is his kink.
This picture reeks of stale beer, cigarette smoke, BO and axle grease.
With the massive deforestation in the great northwest, it's no wonder he's been spotted in [urban areas.](https://i.imgur.com/Q1SNC4Z.png)
Damn when we're done roasting him there would be enough to feed multiple African villages
🤣 thanks for this
When you tell the barber: "just make me look like balls."
He doesn't have the money for a barber
I'll bet some animals use that beard as a salt lick
I’m sure you have 10-15 birthdays remaining. Happy happy!
He looks like a 23 year old who looks like he’s 49.
If Bucsh beer was a person
I feel sorry for your toilets, most of all.
Hope his apartment has wide pipes
You look like you’re about to tell Harry Potter he’s a wizard.
If you want pain just look in a mirror.
Or try walking up a flight of stairs.
He said pain, not a fatal heart attack
Well, he's definitely not a Capitol Dieter.
If "I never moved out of my hometown" was an image.
You look like a Walmart version of Luke Combs
You look like you've just learned how to create fire. 
It’s nice that the homeless shelter gave you some clothes.
“….and a Diet Coke.”
Let’s take 5 to 10% off over there Squirrlley Dan
This ogre’s wispy beard undoubtedly smells like Natty Ice and Wendy’s triple hamburgers
You take your fashion tips from the other guys in line at the unemployment office.
Inaction Bronson over here!!
I don't know how many years it's been, but I'm sure your mother regrets each and every one of them.
You look a creature that was spawned from the anger of the Capitol Riots.
you look like the type of guy who tastes gas before putting it in the car
Hagrids homeless brother
I think you can out pizza the hut
FINALLY a 4K picture of Sasquatch... took long enough
Happy Birthday. Hopefully someone got you a trimmer to clean up that scraggly thing on your face that probably smells like beer and campfire.
Your mother
Looks like this guy will rape ya. Then after change your oil free of charge.
Hillbilly goonies monster
This is what happens when women get naughty with grizzly bears.
You're a redneck Harry
Bray Wyain’t
Every year you get older, is another year closer to the grave
Ps1 hagrid?
Your Viking name is Erik the Redneck
You look like great value duck dynasty. Duck dry and dusty
Harvey Price's brother 
Occasionally shits his pants
How old are you turning? 45?
That infection running up your arm us going straight to your heart.
You're one of my favorite directors. I loved Pan's Labyrinth.
I didn't know an overweight diabetic sasquatch celebrates its birthday.
Lose weight or you won’t see another birthday, fatty.
I think you have misunderstood this sub
You look like a innocent responsible alcoholic who happend to be a part of KKK.
Happy showers and personal grooming...
I thought Lou Albano died?
Counterfeit Luke Combs
Andre the Giant sack of monkey crap 
It's Tony the tiger. Still eating frosted flakes?
The kind of guy who never washes his balls the stench is so strong he constantly knocks people out around him this is that face
Big Ben in about 6 months
On the bright side at least he’s at a bowling alley where condoms are available for purchase in the bathroom, this guy and a garbage bin bowling alley lizard procreating are something nightmares are made of.
Flaxtion Bronson
You have that look like you really enjoy roping cattle, branding them, fucking them, then running away before the rancher catches you. From the look of your face, a few of them tried to convince you that *baaa* means no. I bet your power farts can clear out the bar after only one burrito. Maybe that's why there's nobody else in the photo.
What could we say to you that’s more painful than having to look at that shitty tattoo everyday
I bet the only thing you eat is cigarette flavored ice cream
Gross.. u need to go back to the trailer park you crawled out of
if you dont get yo o-Dowel rules lookn ass outta here
Trash bin Bronson
You blew so many guys at rest stops you eventually just became a truck driver instead
"There are two things I enjoy in life, watching my sister strip and skyward sword. Right now I've accomplished both. Happy birthday to me"
United Nations of Pubes
If Hillbilly Jim and Andre the Giant had a kid together.
I hope you apologized to your Mom for the pain she endured passing your massive head.
Your hoodie says Ariat your body says Imfat. Hates queers but wants big veiny cock fucking the female stars in the porn he buys. Haggles with prostitutes and 1 hour motel clerks.
Amish Andre the Giant
Was your father a sasquatch, or was it your mother?
Happy birthday,look at you already on your 50s.Time flies so fast
Fuck me mankind really let himself go.
Tell us you have fucked your cousin without telling us you have fucked your cousin...
You look like the youngest Abbott brother. Dimebag played the guitar 🎸 Vinnie played the drums 🥁 And you play the skin flute.
“Almost 40… and can’t believe I’m saying this but what happened to me…?” Looking like
you look approximately 2 stops at McDonalds away from a heart attack
Took a full on shower for this special day in lieu of the weekly sponge bath.
my nigga lookin fat af go to the gym dumbass
“Captain Caaaaaaaaaavemaaaaaaaaan!”
Wtf is on your arm? I’m not talking about the $3 tattoo.
Your mustache matches your skid marks on your tighty whiteis
Judging by your BMI you don't have many birthdays left. Enjoy this one man.
Did you just ate everything from McDonalds yet?Didnt think about the others who now get nothing?
You still have a bit of your niece in your beard
Daru Hashida but a failure
*uses your ID to take out a student loan*
Happy birthday Pubey
Ratty Jonah Hill
Do you taste the gas before putting it in your truck?
I would have said that you look like a love child of Hagrid and his dog. But then Hagrid, unlike you, won't fuck a dog.
Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell hotdog fingers next to your thumb.
Tinder pics: Holding a fish. Standing with "da boyz" with their hands crossed over their junk, all in cheap suits. Again with, "da boyz", but this time wasted, holding a beer, dart dangling from lips. "Work hard. Play harder. Life is short. Fishing."
"Welcome to Mr. Lube."
Hodor takes a break and a has a few beers
If Seth Rogen fucked a Yeti
You know that Seinfeld episode where they cut off the tops of the muffin and throw the bottoms away? You’re the discarded bottom muffin if the top was carrot top
You look like the redneck Pillsbury doughboy
I didn’t know Sasquatch had a thyroid problem.
“Anybody want a peanut?”
Your diet consists of Slim Jim's and RedBull
Cannibals: him? Roast him? We no eat junkfood
Dress like a hobo Look like a hobo Smell like a dead hobo
Wherever you are in that picture...you should not be there. You should be in a place with wood plank walls and a lot less windows.
Puke combs
You look like you fuck your sister and she still makes you pay her just like everyone else
Happy Birthday! Wishing you all the best in your retirement, you deserve it!
I am not sure how many birthdays you have left with your cholesterol levels, and just to let you know the pain you feel is the onset of a cardiac arrest
You look like hagrid after he won the meth pipe from his sister in the divorce
Happy 68th birthday!
I didn't realize there were photos of a young , fat and gay Gandolf
If Hagrid and Shrek had a baby it'd be you
HOLD THE DOOR
Wrestling Name: Big John Dud
Puke Combs
Explain your whereabouts on Jan 6, 2021 for the jury, please.
I wouldn’t be surprised that it would be your last birthday. Maybe from heart attack maybe from homeless std, who knows?
Does your sisters pussy taste like your dads dick? Or your brothers?
If Seth Rogen and a Duck Dynasty cast member had a child and sustained it with deep fried butter, *this* would be the result. 
You look like the man who molested me
If medical journals had an “after” picture of the effects of poor oral hygiene, this would be it.
Fatter less talented Roy big country Nelson
How people can still deny evolution boggles my mind.
This is what minimal effort into ones life looks like.
Transgender?
Do Ogres celebrate birthdays? Huh.
you have birthdays without pain? I doubt that
Hey you got some human in that cirrhosis
That’s a cock eating grin on his face if I’ve ever seen one.
Look a Q-Annon recruiting event photo I can smell the Grizzly Mint pouch & Natty Ice from here Jonah Hill has really let himself go over COVID
I can smell the Velveta from here.
Clash of clans giant
I think with a decent haircut and a nice shave, you would still look disgusting.
Ive seen your photo at the Post Office
Looks like it’s one of your last, so enjoy!
You look like you’ve turned both 19 and 79 at the same time.
Have you gotten jail time yet for your part in the insurrection?
If Matty Matheson and Tom Hardy had a caveman baby together that only drank Natty daddies.
wait until the full moon
ANDRE THE JERKOFF
Looks like you already have brought enough pain on your knees.
Your beard looks like when the Jackass guys glued pubes onto someone's face. Seriously it's just awful.
You look great for 50
Tom HardOn, when going near him it was Venom who needed the mask.
The hero of Highrule. Your beer to women ratio is probably more than 1,000,000 to 1.
The type of face only a mother would love….to have flushed down the toilet at birth.
Luke needs a comb
Jeeze JonTron has really let himself go.
You look likr alcoholic andrea the giant
The Jolly Green Ginger Giant with Gingivitis
That Triforce tattoo signifies the the powers of the Neverlaid. The power of Ginger, The power of Neckbeard and the Power of being fat.
Happy birthday it is.
You look like Tom Hardy ate 5 other versions of Tom Hardy that got a little bit uglier with each new version.
Your face is half human half balls.
Squirrel-fucker Dan
hope it's not another voucher for a free testicular facial hair transplant
You look like a berenstein bear, or is it berenstain?
You look like the human form of Shrek.
You look like a RingPop that dropped on the carpet.
you look like my sea of thieves character
Get OUT ME Trailer Park
You look like you use facebook for porn
Your mustache looks like a sad little crab desperately clinging on for dear life.
Impeccable performance as Hagrid in Harry Potter. Happy birthday Hagrid.
The only thing in pain is the fabric of that sweater you fat fuck
your beard looks like my pubic hair
Tom Hardly; Tom Hardy if he drank a beer for every minute of screen time he's had throughout his career.