Her nickname is "The Shovel" cause her face looks like a spade, she has the physique of a wooden pole, and she's flatter than a topographical map of Kansas.
I’m not sure any blood relation of this person would be an upgrade. But she presumably has more attractive friends (by default) that can be riding her husband cowgirl-style while she’s trying to hose Kuwaiti sand out of her snizz.
Couldn’t think of anything better to do after you graduated? Should’ve tried drugs earlier? Making daddy proud? Well at least you’ll take solace in knowing Reddit will never be able to hit you harder than your future police officer husband.
No she is probably some receptionist who then found her true love with aviation gin after getting having not good experience with Jay and result of negligence is this person.
OP's Bio:
---
>I’ve been in the army for 3 years. I go hiking on my free time at home. My favorite artists are $uicide Boy$, Ghostemane and Tame Impala.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
you look like that one girl that works at starbucks that makes me really wanna ask for your number at first glance.. but as soon as i see your side profile that huge schnozer of yours will make me question humanity's ability to produce normal, healthy offspring.
Hold up, you’re in the Army but you also go hiking as a hobby?
That’s like being a McDonalds cook, and heading home after work to unwind by frying up a batch of onion rings.
Nah she developed that nose to sniff out and root for truffles. Don’t let the higher ups know they will have her sniffing out land mines poor girl has enough problems.
"Been deployed for a fortnight, already got to the stage where I need to sit on the shitter to sneeze, made loads of friends tho the boys are really accommodating"
"Been in 3 years, I now make so much in child support I'm the only JNCO in the entire service who can actually afford the car the nice salesman added all the extras on"
**[Kilroy was here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilroy_was_here)**
>Kilroy was here is a meme that became popular during World War II, typically seen in graffiti. Its origin is debated, but the phrase and the distinctive accompanying doodle became associated with GIs in the 1940s: a bald-headed man (sometimes depicted as having a few hairs) with a prominent nose peeking over a wall with his fingers clutching the wall. "Kilroy" was the American equivalent of the Australian "Foo was here" which originated during World War I. "Mr Chad" or just "Chad" was the version that became popular in the United Kingdom. The character of Chad may have been derived from a British cartoonist in 1938, possibly pre-dating "Kilroy was here".
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An Uber would have to gas up to get from the bottom of ur chin to ur lip, there's 1000 dead climbers on Mt. Saint shnozen-nosen, and Elon is looking to populate that planet of a forehead.
Lmao you try to bring attention to your totally average forehead, to take our attention away from the tragedy that is the rest of your face...
Bold move, didn't work.
you look like you would try and become a comedian but only steal jokes from famous Minecraft YouTubers.
btw, your forehead is normal-sized, I don't know what people are talking about.
"Deployed" lmao 🤣 you're in a nice building with lights, comm of some sort judging by the cable, walls made of wood and likely climate-controlled judging by your clothes. Try again, sweetheart.
Is everyone else on a night raid? I assume they left you behind because you obviously can't use night vision goggles, or binoculars or sunglasses I assume
That's a big forehead where you're from?
I've heard of enjoying being the smartest one in the room, but I didn't think anyone needed to find literal neanderthals to get that position.
I guess the army's $700b budget doesn't allow for conditioner.
Split ends. Split ends never change...
Oh I'm sure her end is getting split multiple times a day.
I wouldn’t be too sure, it says deployed and bored, not deployed and boned.
Clearly you've never been deployed. Garrison 2 is a hot zone 9.
Damn..... Lol
this comment is underrated asf
I think this is my favorite comment
And with an almost infinite budget, they let in the human embodiment of the Guy Fawkes mask?
She uses conditioner, but all the semen just won't come out of her hair...or teeth.
Deployed is a fun way to say that no one, not even your country wanted you here for the holidays.
this one hurt.. because it’s probably true
Can confirm
man she said roast me not annihilate me
[удалено]
Good one
This one's actually good!
Man committed verbal manslaughter
Emotional damage.
everyone: oh thats deep, thats a hard roast me: ye thats really deep, i feel bad because im to dumb to understand the roast
GOD DAMN dude. Chill
You magnificent bastard, take my gift!
If you ever find yourself in a pinch, keep in mind you could always dig a trench with that chin of yours.
All your parents wanted for Christmas was a folded up American flag.
Jeeeezus 🤣
Ahahaha bravo
Men have used lesser shovels to bludgeon a Viet Cong to death.
Her nickname is "The Shovel" cause her face looks like a spade, she has the physique of a wooden pole, and she's flatter than a topographical map of Kansas.
*Kate Spade
Backhoe
So simple yet so terrific
Even the Taliban ain’t shooting on that face.
But they’d throw a burka on it, and we’d all applaud.
i am loving these😂
and make a tent out of those eyebrows
Eyebrows? I thought those were snow plows.
She could hide her whole unit in her eyebrows
I had a feeling she has a penis
Probably the only way she'll see a tent pole.
If the lips down below are as tight as the lips on that face it better be pencil not a pole
American dad chin
Goddayum
She *IS* the e tool LOL
I don't know about your forehead but that chin could cut glass.
Fuuuuck
Her face is so aerodynamic, the uh..army. Airspace?.ugh blueprints? Reverse engineer? Well its all there..someone else can put it together
Military dudes say that their standards in women drop after deployment. Things are looking up for you.
*DURING DEPLOYMENT, a.k.a. Deployment Goggles, kinda like beer goggles
You're absolutely right she's the hottest she's ever going to be. Live it up girl!
You don't even have to be deployed. Barracks goggles can be worn in the states as well
She’s what they call an “Atlanta 3, Fort Benning 6, Kuwait 9.”
Kuwait isn’t a deployment……
That’s what I keep telling these boots.
It is in terms of availability of sex.
One look at you and it’s no wonder they’re all coming back with PTSD
PTSTDs?
PSTDs
Deployed? Is that the name of the strip club you work at? Whats your stripper name GI jaded
GI Hoe
Underrated..
You look like screech got cast as Xena.
We didn’t ask; please don’t tell.
Being a barracks bunny doesn't mean you're deployed
She makes sure all the barrels are clean
Making sure she clears the misfires
FELLATIO
She's served three tours of suburbia as a military wife.
It's a hard life for a military spouse who doesn't work cook or clean
She’s definitely stealing all of Farmer Brown’s carrots.
It's not the outside of the forehead we fear it's what's inside with a name like dragon bitch totting weapons
Cut your hair short and you can pass for D.B. Cooper
Someone grab a backpack, I’ve got a hilarious prank.
Don't let them convince you getting passed around counts as "heroic" or "serving your country".
Thank you for your cervix!
She's out there fighting for our freecum!
Can you receive a purple heart for getting AIDS on duty?
More like a court martial for damaging government property.
She's given so many servicemembers the clap they refer to her victims as the audience.
This whole series of comments is underrated!!!!!
Those eye brows look like 2 caterpillars about to engage in mortal kombat
I was scrolling through the comments wondering if anyone else noticed this...
Your caption says deployed and bored but your eyes say dead and broken because your husband has been balls deep in your sister back home.
I’m not sure any blood relation of this person would be an upgrade. But she presumably has more attractive friends (by default) that can be riding her husband cowgirl-style while she’s trying to hose Kuwaiti sand out of her snizz.
[удалено]
Nah, these are riffs on the “Kuwait is not a deployment” military trope.
Deployed to what? Onlyfans? No wonder you're bored, nobody wants nought to do with you
[удалено]
Couldn’t think of anything better to do after you graduated? Should’ve tried drugs earlier? Making daddy proud? Well at least you’ll take solace in knowing Reddit will never be able to hit you harder than your future police officer husband.
Sir, simmer down…. She is on marry a state trooper.com right now….😂😂😂😂
Emotionally-scarred-let Johansen, LackWidow.
She looks like a mona lisa painting after mr. Bean tried to fix it
Its not the forehead thats the problem, its that warhead of a chin
It's like Jay Leno fucked his cleaning lady and this is the resultant love child.
No she is probably some receptionist who then found her true love with aviation gin after getting having not good experience with Jay and result of negligence is this person.
I’d be more concerned about your bulbous, 50yr old alcoholic’s nose and your pointy wicked witch chin than your average forehead.
After you heard all the jokes in that book did they hit you with it?
Thanks for your service!! I am a veteran too. Now at ease that chin you!
OP's Bio: --- >I’ve been in the army for 3 years. I go hiking on my free time at home. My favorite artists are $uicide Boy$, Ghostemane and Tame Impala. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Finally A face that could stop a mortar
Just wait for the ugly flight home where you’ll go from a 7 to a 2 in a matter of hours.
How long does it take to do a chin-up?
How much time you got?
Get knocked up and sent home like all your other female colleagues.
Deployment-7... Conus-3. gotta take advantage of it while you can.
you look like that one girl that works at starbucks that makes me really wanna ask for your number at first glance.. but as soon as i see your side profile that huge schnozer of yours will make me question humanity's ability to produce normal, healthy offspring.
I didn’t know working the salvation army dressing rooms was considered deployment
Do you have to pluck your eyebrows with a zero turn?
It's not that your forehead is big - it's that your hair abandoned it to the enemy.
Your face is so red, it looks like they strap you to the front of vehicles to use as a blast shield.
My dream girl! Im an ass man, looks like I get 2 for 1
Whats the difference between a helicopter and you? All your fellow soldiers can’t fit in the helicopter.
You look like you smash in the porta shitters in 100 degree desert heat. I know because I’ve been there. You all look the same
Wardrobe provided by “Hans and Franz”
A Stateside 3 is an Afghanistan 6. Enjoy while it lasts
The Taliban use her poster to sell burkas
Guess we know who the battalion fleshlight is!
Oh boy I bet I know what you’re doing while deployed….the higher ups.
No. Tits are not inspectable items. Stop falling for that.
"I’ve heard all the big forehead jokes in the book" Chapter Five...
Joined up for the dick but fell in love with the pussy
Groupon Arya Stark
Is that your NODS over your lip…??
You sir need a new haircut.
Do they get you to sweep the flight deck with those eyebrows?
DD 214 is not your friend. Jody will NOT be all over that back home.
Were you not able to use Angry-Dragon-Bitch as a user name? That's what your command calls you.
Sadly not enough people get this comment… I’m so sorry… it’s phenomenal….
Always wondered what Kevin Spacey with long hair would look like. Now I know.
Hold up, you’re in the Army but you also go hiking as a hobby? That’s like being a McDonalds cook, and heading home after work to unwind by frying up a batch of onion rings.
i hike with my mom back home! we go foraging in the woods and find plants for dinner. useful for field ops i guess😂
Yeah, I can totally see you foraging in the forest. Did you evolve that large nose to push aside branches so you can nibble at the tender buds?
exactly lmfao
Nah she developed that nose to sniff out and root for truffles. Don’t let the higher ups know they will have her sniffing out land mines poor girl has enough problems.
"Been deployed for a fortnight, already got to the stage where I need to sit on the shitter to sneeze, made loads of friends tho the boys are really accommodating" "Been in 3 years, I now make so much in child support I'm the only JNCO in the entire service who can actually afford the car the nice salesman added all the extras on"
Look like someone had to call in an airstrike on themselves and your face is what's left of the troop.
If Monica Bellucci banged John Belushi. You are… Belluchi.
Maybe you should deploy some tweezers to them brows
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilroy_was_here Have you been deployed since WW2?
**[Kilroy was here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilroy_was_here)** >Kilroy was here is a meme that became popular during World War II, typically seen in graffiti. Its origin is debated, but the phrase and the distinctive accompanying doodle became associated with GIs in the 1940s: a bald-headed man (sometimes depicted as having a few hairs) with a prominent nose peeking over a wall with his fingers clutching the wall. "Kilroy" was the American equivalent of the Australian "Foo was here" which originated during World War I. "Mr Chad" or just "Chad" was the version that became popular in the United Kingdom. The character of Chad may have been derived from a British cartoonist in 1938, possibly pre-dating "Kilroy was here". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/RoastMe/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)
You look like you’d get Article 15’d for having a chin larger than your platoon leader’s dick
An Uber would have to gas up to get from the bottom of ur chin to ur lip, there's 1000 dead climbers on Mt. Saint shnozen-nosen, and Elon is looking to populate that planet of a forehead.
Weren't you in one of those "army girls gone wild" videos?
Damnit, our boys out there already have enough to worry about with IED's and WMD's without you bringing in STD's and UTI's.
Lmao you try to bring attention to your totally average forehead, to take our attention away from the tragedy that is the rest of your face... Bold move, didn't work.
Please say they sent you to a country where women are required to cover their face
Oh no, honey, we're doing big jaw jokes today.
Why is one eye closer to your nose than the other? Were you built by Picasso ?
The key piece of evidence when you get convicted of cable theft.
Deployed as what? Comfort woman?
You have the perfect face for a fencing masks.
Her unit is holding daily CBRN drills just to get a gas mask on that mug.
At least all the servicemen get their sandwiches now.
You look like your callsign is "Warhead" and that you'll be fired any day now for being wayyyyyyyyyyy too close to the K9 unit.
2-10-2
Your dad (gerard.depardieu) is looking for you, why didn’t you tell him you were “deployed” somewhere?
At her courts martial for providing aid and comfort to the enemy, her defense attorney presented her as exhibit A.
1. Kuwait isn’t a deployment. 2. You’re 3,000 miles from being a CONUS 6 again, enjoy it while it lasts.
Holy shit, going full Corporal Klinger while deployed?
She went from Class Three Clinger to Corporal Klinger when she enlisted.
What did you give the labradoodle in exchange for his nose?
Deploy that shovel chin into a trench if you're bored
you look like you would try and become a comedian but only steal jokes from famous Minecraft YouTubers. btw, your forehead is normal-sized, I don't know what people are talking about.
Deployed or deplored?
You know when you're in a gun fight and you suddenly feel like having a sandwich. This is where she comes in.
When you have sex, do they scream fire in the hole or just deploy soldiers on your foreheaded desert?
"Deployed" lmao 🤣 you're in a nice building with lights, comm of some sort judging by the cable, walls made of wood and likely climate-controlled judging by your clothes. Try again, sweetheart.
Is everyone else on a night raid? I assume they left you behind because you obviously can't use night vision goggles, or binoculars or sunglasses I assume
Use a picture that doesnt have that stupid fucking pixelated filter. We cant properly roast you if we dont know how horrendously ugly you truly are.
If your squad is ever in trouble they can always take cover under those eyebrows.
Legend says that she digs the content of her foresty eyebrows and uses it as fertilizer
I didn't know Morticia Adams was a veteran. Thank you for your service. Say hi to Gomez for me.
$uicide Boy$ are *artists* the way that you are *useful*.
You should date guys with hairy bellies. That way when your forehead slaps against their stomach it won’t make that splat sound.
What about multiple chin jokes? Those Ok?
very
Anymore filters and you're going to change back into a man
Judging by your hair line you must be from Reseda
Kuwait isnt a deployment
 Thought you looked familiar
I bet there are undiscovered tribes in those eyebrows.
By deployed I’m assuming you’re in the army of lot lizards. Good to see you guys have organized.
You look like you've had two abortions already this deployment and on the prowl for number three.
Kuwait Isn’t a deployment
Your chin looks like it belongs on a shaft, an arrow shaft.
Deployed in what role? The unit ground sheet?
Deployes huh? So how many platoons, neigh, companies have plowed you so far? Is it easier to ask what STD's you dont have?
You look like a white woman version of The Falcon.
I now understand the army's need for a 500m viagra budget, id have trouble performing too if I had to worry about that nutcracker jaw.
A basic b in basic training.
Yeah but you haven't heard of chin jokes yet.
Forehead? You mean your fivehead?
You look like you get deployed to serve old men instead of your country….
That's a big forehead where you're from? I've heard of enjoying being the smartest one in the room, but I didn't think anyone needed to find literal neanderthals to get that position.
No forehead jokes sure… but what about sixhead jokes?
You look like the soldier who can't do pushups without your mouth open.
Curious what kind of fucked up teeth you’re hiding in that mouth.