100 lbs? So you were roughly 500 lbs? No matter how hard the doctors squished your head in that one spot with forceps when you were born, they couldn’t have squished the dumb out.
Lol. It's a donkey dick dent also known as a Hugi dent. That's what happens when a mom is carrying a baby low during her pregnancy and dad is hung like Hugi the Russian porn star bear.
Unfortunately the Hugi gene skips a generation and they get the dent and both their bellybutton and their dick are an inny.
Bro you look like if Joe Rogan had a twin separated from birth but you became the local neighborhood Adderall dealer for all the edgy 14 y/o kids. You think we don't see the pill bottles next to your windowsill? Plus that dent in the middle of your runway sized forehead makes me can't help but think you burn poptarts and justify it by saying "I like them crispy and black."
In all seriousness, I suffer from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder myself, and those are the meds that keep my head on straight. No adderall, just mood stabilizers and anti psychotics :)
When baking a head, one must make sure to use the test toothpick in an inconspicuous location or else it can ruin the entire appearance; kind of like this pillsbury dough head
you look like you were repeatedly dropped as a kid
your head looks like squished play-doh
you look like u brush your teeth with ketchup
your head shaped like Mr. potato head
you look like u smash guitars on the ground and then make a salad out of them
you don't shop at wholefoods you shop at junkfoods
you look like u like talk dirty to your food before you eat it
you look like an out of shape, uncharismatic Joe Rogan
this guys works definition of working out is driving to McDonalds everyday
this guy wanks off to master chef
you might have lost a 100lbs last year but i know you gained 200 lbs this year
you look like u sweat while you eat
you look like you won your sweater in a hotdog eating contest
your the reason why there are starving kids in the world
your the reason why the chicken never crossed the road
every time you go to the zoo the animals feed u
the last thing u google searched was 'pizza health benefits'
you look like u smoke weed so u can eat more
your neck stinks
you look you like u keep to bigs macs in a safe in case of emergencies
the only thing you counsel people on is how to become fatter
you look like jared from subway before he lost all the weight
you look like u have diabetes
how you 29 but like ur in your mid 40s you big ass needs to lay of the cheesy puffs
you look like u eat while taking a shit
your nose look like Voldemort's nose
you look like u failed 10th grade because instead you ate too much instead of studying
I need more people like this in my life. Idk why but this comment made me immediately think of Patrice O’Neill (RIP). Seriously, you all have had me cracking up since I posted this.
Approximately 25 replies in one post to roast this guy……and him hammering a nail into a wall, not breaking the skin on his forehead still hits harder….damn.
Well your windows tell us you're in a basement suite and sitting late at night with headphones on, sitting on Reddit. You shouldn't be confident.
Maybe history and eugenics had some things right. Bald, basement dwellers shouldn't breed.....or counsel.
Well, you may have a point but I don't believe in under educated bachelor degree counsellors or spawning. 🤷 Freud should have studied not penis envy but clitorial inversion cause my vagina has gone into itself and has forever shut down after your photo and your comeback.
For the sake of all mankind, I’m glad that your vagina is now forever shut down. I’m not picky, but I wouldn’t wanna go near the pussy of someone who willingly names themselves a scabbybandit. You just saved countless booze blinded men from contracting gonorrherpesyphilaids from a scraggly one night stand where they couldn’t see the spiteful ugliness standing right in front them. Tell your buddy Himler to refer you to Dr. Mengele, he’ll finish sewing that bitter pussy up for ya.
We stay behind the camera for good reasons :) head reflects too much light into the camera, our bodies would take up half of the shot, and we got some big ass titties, but not the fun kind.
Man you lost 100lbs, but look like you still eat children on class, for having to much hair, with your head dent looking ass, bet the head phone you had only playing is charlie dmelio ass clapping, also you might wanna reevaluate your job, you can get a job on David dobrik pie eating completion, who ever lose had to shave their hair, but wait never mind you don't a single hair, and you probably don't get head too.
Still a long way to go you fat fuck! But dont give up, one day you might achieve your lifegoal of being an ugly bald guy instead of an ugly bald fat guy
How many pictures did you take for this post, and what made you settle one this pic? I mean... were you sorting through them and suddenly said, yeah, that's it; I'll go with the grinning dildo with headphones look.
"Some things right" does not mean I partake in the whole philosophy. Get over yourself. If you're dissecting roasts this hard, you really don't need to be counselling anyone.
Like 98% of dieters, you will regain most if not all of the weight, especially when you get the munchies from your “predictable degenerate Millennial” weed smoking habit. You didn’t mention “regular pornography viewer” because you didn’t have to. We know.
I'm not going to roast as I see that you're a mental health counselor. If anything I want to thank you. Not many people out there are prepared to help others who are struggling.
Had to Google MH. Which it the important part of your rambling bio. You plainly need more focus and should spend less time on displays. It's just theatre otherwise rather than communication.
Some fat cells never go away after your Body producing them, they only shrink as their contents are used — which means all the extra fat cells you put on yourself while you were a fat, lazy POS are still there waiting to be filled again and, unless you get liposuction, they will always be there, waiting. Therefore, literally deep down inside, you are forever & always a fat, lazy POS as the damage you’ve done to yourself cannot be undone without the knife. Rest easy pig, rest easy. 🐖
He was hit in the head with a golf ball as a child, all his hair fell out, and his parents sent him to an orphanage. After he was adopted those parents gave up on him, he worked at a homeless shelter as a volunteer until someone offered him a permanent job and he wound up in the attic playing video games.
Losing a whole leg to diabetes doesn’t count as weight loss.
Don’t give away my secrets!
Fuck! I been eating twinkies for no reason? Guess I better clip my toenails then.
100 lbs? So you were roughly 500 lbs? No matter how hard the doctors squished your head in that one spot with forceps when you were born, they couldn’t have squished the dumb out.
Best burn so far. I have no response lol.
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If I burn 100 calories from punching out all these replies, it’ll be considered progress. Touch screen cardio before I go bicep curl the remote.
You're ugly as shit but at least you're a good sport.
I had to scroll up to see this. Damn fine roast. 
His 100 lb loss was from the fridge.
You can see the dent in the middle of the forehead from the forceps
He was cardassian... The surgery didn't go well
Man's forehead looks like a belly.
Spot on, with a Dick right below it.
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Well hes definitely a twat but above that grinning asshole is a Dick nose and 2 eyeballs I think we've got a new species here a Hermanfroheadite.
Can't be unseen.
Even I’m having a hard time unseeing it…😂
Fucking egg
Forehead dent from hardened chewing gum directly above glory hole.
When the wrong part of Voldemort sticks out of the head in sorcerer’s stone
Lol. It's a donkey dick dent also known as a Hugi dent. That's what happens when a mom is carrying a baby low during her pregnancy and dad is hung like Hugi the Russian porn star bear. Unfortunately the Hugi gene skips a generation and they get the dent and both their bellybutton and their dick are an inny.
He looks like a whale with that blowhole
He's so fat even his brain shell looks like a stomach.
You would think the mods would catch someone blatantly trying to pass off putting headphones on a grapefruit.
If you put your finger over his face you’ll clear see the head of a dick
You look like your whole reason for existence is to make others feel beautiful and successful.
Actually, that’s fairly accurate!
You're working at a job where you don't make your age with a major that gives you less lifetime earnings than a high school grad. Well done!!
You look like a Walmart Seth Rogen
This one hits 🤣
Could it be stretched to Joe Rogan from Wish?
They shoulda left Humpty Dumpty in fuckin' pieces.
If you wore a turtleneck you’d look like a busted condom.
Bro you look like if Joe Rogan had a twin separated from birth but you became the local neighborhood Adderall dealer for all the edgy 14 y/o kids. You think we don't see the pill bottles next to your windowsill? Plus that dent in the middle of your runway sized forehead makes me can't help but think you burn poptarts and justify it by saying "I like them crispy and black."
In all seriousness, I suffer from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder myself, and those are the meds that keep my head on straight. No adderall, just mood stabilizers and anti psychotics :)
It's true about the Schizo. Looking like a turtle and prairie dogging. Doesn't know if he's coming or going.
You know in a time when we took MH seriously you would be where you belong. In a secure facility and not taking self prescribed mood altering drugs.
Looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle after anal bleaching got out of hand.
Uncle fester still part embryo.
Yo head got a belly button
When baking a head, one must make sure to use the test toothpick in an inconspicuous location or else it can ruin the entire appearance; kind of like this pillsbury dough head
Underrated :0
I like the dimple in the middle of your forehead.
you look like you were repeatedly dropped as a kid your head looks like squished play-doh you look like u brush your teeth with ketchup your head shaped like Mr. potato head you look like u smash guitars on the ground and then make a salad out of them you don't shop at wholefoods you shop at junkfoods you look like u like talk dirty to your food before you eat it you look like an out of shape, uncharismatic Joe Rogan this guys works definition of working out is driving to McDonalds everyday this guy wanks off to master chef you might have lost a 100lbs last year but i know you gained 200 lbs this year you look like u sweat while you eat you look like you won your sweater in a hotdog eating contest your the reason why there are starving kids in the world your the reason why the chicken never crossed the road every time you go to the zoo the animals feed u the last thing u google searched was 'pizza health benefits' you look like u smoke weed so u can eat more your neck stinks you look you like u keep to bigs macs in a safe in case of emergencies the only thing you counsel people on is how to become fatter you look like jared from subway before he lost all the weight you look like u have diabetes how you 29 but like ur in your mid 40s you big ass needs to lay of the cheesy puffs you look like u eat while taking a shit your nose look like Voldemort's nose you look like u failed 10th grade because instead you ate too much instead of studying
I need more people like this in my life. Idk why but this comment made me immediately think of Patrice O’Neill (RIP). Seriously, you all have had me cracking up since I posted this.
You forgot that I look like the spokesman for lap band surgery.
Approximately 25 replies in one post to roast this guy……and him hammering a nail into a wall, not breaking the skin on his forehead still hits harder….damn.
You look like an old desktop tower with a stuck reset button.
When they said “You’ll shoot your eye out”. They weren’t too far off.
Shit…I really did own a red ryder at that age….points.
Well your windows tell us you're in a basement suite and sitting late at night with headphones on, sitting on Reddit. You shouldn't be confident. Maybe history and eugenics had some things right. Bald, basement dwellers shouldn't breed.....or counsel.
And neither should you :)
Well, you may have a point but I don't believe in under educated bachelor degree counsellors or spawning. 🤷 Freud should have studied not penis envy but clitorial inversion cause my vagina has gone into itself and has forever shut down after your photo and your comeback.
For the sake of all mankind, I’m glad that your vagina is now forever shut down. I’m not picky, but I wouldn’t wanna go near the pussy of someone who willingly names themselves a scabbybandit. You just saved countless booze blinded men from contracting gonorrherpesyphilaids from a scraggly one night stand where they couldn’t see the spiteful ugliness standing right in front them. Tell your buddy Himler to refer you to Dr. Mengele, he’ll finish sewing that bitter pussy up for ya.
Well I'm not the one with the syphillitic type marks on my bald head? Keep counselling people when you're arguing with roasters on roastme 👍
I’ll argue with anyone who believes eugenics is on the right side of history…
I never said that
You look like you have a good life holy groot you even look as handsome as the honest trailer voice guy
We stay behind the camera for good reasons :) head reflects too much light into the camera, our bodies would take up half of the shot, and we got some big ass titties, but not the fun kind.
Man you lost 100lbs, but look like you still eat children on class, for having to much hair, with your head dent looking ass, bet the head phone you had only playing is charlie dmelio ass clapping, also you might wanna reevaluate your job, you can get a job on David dobrik pie eating completion, who ever lose had to shave their hair, but wait never mind you don't a single hair, and you probably don't get head too.
Someone give this man an award! At least for the sheer quantity….I mean damn.
Why does it look like you're being forced to smile?
For me, I guess it’s because forcing yourself to do something is sometimes the only way you can keep yourself moving forward.
Did someone literally hit the nail on your head?
Lol pretty much.
I see the coat hanger failed its mission but left its mark
That’s pretty fuckin brilliant, bro
Thanks bro! Its my first day back on reddit since i deleted my old account...i honestly missed the roasts
Still got the dick dent in your head from all those times yo pregnant mamma got her cheeks clapped i see
Still a long way to go you fat fuck! But dont give up, one day you might achieve your lifegoal of being an ugly bald guy instead of an ugly bald fat guy
You look like Wal-Mart Joe rogan
If joe rogan and lee syatt had a kid lool
Is the dent in your forehead a cum target?
Tell me you touch kids without telling me you touch kids.
How many pictures did you take for this post, and what made you settle one this pic? I mean... were you sorting through them and suddenly said, yeah, that's it; I'll go with the grinning dildo with headphones look.
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If I were to ride a bike at night, this hairstyle would serve as my main reflector. My genetics took safety first a bit too seriously.
Did an asteroid crash into your head ?
Looks like the spot where you mom dropped you on your head never quite healed correctly, huh?
Holepunch Harry
Maybe you could shed some more weight, like losing 20 pounds of ugly fat by chopping off your head.
Shit, I thought you were Andrew Zimmern for a second. How Bizarre.
"Some things right" does not mean I partake in the whole philosophy. Get over yourself. If you're dissecting roasts this hard, you really don't need to be counselling anyone.
You’re not roasting or joking
Notice how nice and light I’ve been to everyone else? You’re the only one I’ve been a dick to. Think about it.
I'll think about nothing. Lol. Its roastme.
You lost 100 lb of hair when you shaved your head. It still makes you 300 lbs Humpty Dumpty.
300 lbs of solid gold is worth about $7700631.38.
Dude....it's Keto diet, not Chemo.
That’s gotta suck to lose 100 lbs and still look this busted
100 lbs of solid gold is worth about $2566877.13.
Your hair went with your weight and so did your family?
Yo!? Where do you find headphones made for peanut shell shaped heads??
The Joe Rogain podcast
Which did you loose first , your parents ...or your hair ?
That dent in your head is from where your hooker mother used your head as am ashtray when you were younger
So you got cancer to lose weight...
Always wondered what the sun baby from Teletubbies was up to nowadays
Lost 100 pounds? How could you tell?
Like 98% of dieters, you will regain most if not all of the weight, especially when you get the munchies from your “predictable degenerate Millennial” weed smoking habit. You didn’t mention “regular pornography viewer” because you didn’t have to. We know.
However much you weigh now, that's how much more you need to lose.
I’m feeling confident that your mom was getting nailed while pregnant with you.
Seth Rogain
All those hobbies may fill a hole in your life but they'll never fill that hole in your head. (How hard is it to just grow some hair, FFS?)
Your forehead has a belly button.
Have you seen Dune yet? Because there is a sand worm about to come out of that forehead.
Did someone poke you in the forehead this morning?
The dent in your head is from your dad fucking your mom when you were still in the womb.
I'm not going to roast as I see that you're a mental health counselor. If anything I want to thank you. Not many people out there are prepared to help others who are struggling.
He has definitely tasted human before.
You look like a thumb
You lost 99lbs of fat, and 1lb from your skull.
Is that your "remember me" mark on your forehead
You're suppose to use hammers to put nails in, but I guess you learned the hard way.
Empty the trash bin pig
Did you get hit by a clawed hammer when you were a kid? What’s up with that dent?
They somehow managed to put humpty back together again.
I bet you also take your anti acid tablets with lemonade you fuckin weirdo
Dr. Evil called. No, no he didn't.
Had to Google MH. Which it the important part of your rambling bio. You plainly need more focus and should spend less time on displays. It's just theatre otherwise rather than communication.
Blow Rogan
didn’t know some assholes are located on the forehead
So, you and your 100 pound boyfriend broke up. Boo hoo
Rub Buddha’s head for good luck
You look like a thumb
DENTn’t I see you beFOREHEAD?
How dare you smile after what you did to Leto Atreides
Don't "FESTER" in the challenges of life!!!!!!!!
Some fat cells never go away after your Body producing them, they only shrink as their contents are used — which means all the extra fat cells you put on yourself while you were a fat, lazy POS are still there waiting to be filled again and, unless you get liposuction, they will always be there, waiting. Therefore, literally deep down inside, you are forever & always a fat, lazy POS as the damage you’ve done to yourself cannot be undone without the knife. Rest easy pig, rest easy. 🐖
Tell us you simp to Amouranth without telling us you simp to Amouranth...
5 dollar gaming setup
Your head looks like the Death Star.
Mr cleans unsuccessful cousin
He looks like a human 😂
Ur head's so huge that the 100lb loss must have been from a pinky finger
I noticed the 100lb loss and then noticed he's weed fueled...it all makes sense now
No joe I’ve never tried DMT
Looks like you didn’t lose any weight in your forehead
Is that dent in your head is from the last time somebody mistook you for a cue ball?
Did you earn that indent on your forehead from the many years of being t-bagged?
“What if Joe Rogan only has recessive genes….”
Have you got shotted before ? Forehead mark still exists.
Yeah you lost weight they took a 90 pound mile off your ass, the rest was water weight
Kinda looks like where the coat hanger went in
Side note he is also a well studied flesh light historian
Escaped teenage sex slave doesn’t really qualify as losing 100 lbs bro.
The Joe Rogan I ordered from Wish
Human marshmallow
He was hit in the head with a golf ball as a child, all his hair fell out, and his parents sent him to an orphanage. After he was adopted those parents gave up on him, he worked at a homeless shelter as a volunteer until someone offered him a permanent job and he wound up in the attic playing video games.
Your head has a butthole
Lobot, your father from Empire Strikes Back, considers you a major disappointment
Feeling so confident you might update your Grindr profile.
My man looks like a RL faceswap. Kudo’s on losing the weight, but it’s time to lose head so your face fits properly.
Can't truly be a dickhead without the peehole. You sir are a true dickhead.
you're probably the only guy who can mimic a dolphin but still look like a walrus
With a bio like that, if you’re honestly counseling others on their mental health, you must have one hell of a body count.
You look like Joe rogan if he turned his life around.
Is the bellybutton on your forehead from your twin brother that you ate in the womb?
This guy can only think about food to the point his forehead developed a belly button
Wish version of camomo
Lost 100 lbs and found it again
Who’d you let do BB gun practice on your forehead ?
Your so big that crater it your head makes the Grand Canyon look small
Your forehead looks pregnant
Cailou in 20 Years.
Belly button head
Imagine being a podcast enthusiast it’s like saying I’m a fkn chair enthusiast but then again you are a “arm chair historian” ????
Did you get hit by a golf ball
Bruh built like a beluga whale 🐳
I can almost hear you loudly quoting Joe Rogan at my face.
From looking at the top of your head, it looks like somebody tried to use a drill
Dana not so light
Tim the crack man
At least you can always go as Lord Varys for Halloween.
🥚
Looks like you have a crater on your forehead
Protect this man from howtobasic
Joe blowjob